How A Wake-Up Call Sparked Purpose-Driven Leadership And Community w/ Holly Porter

A single moment can pull the rug, close the gap, and hand you a new compass. That’s where our conversation with Holly begins: a near-death experience that reframed success as being happy and turned service into something that starts with self-care. From there, we unpack her SHIFT framework—surrender, hope, intuition, faith, transformation—and show how it becomes a practical playbook for mental wellness, leadership, and purpose that actually lasts.

We dive into the difference between a retreat that feels good and one that truly changes you. Holly breaks down how transformational retreats are designed—clear intentions, safe facilitation, active participation, and measured outcomes—so you leave with more than a glow. We talk corporate offsites that build trust instead of cynicism, why leaders should sit in the circle rather than run it, and how modeling therapy, rest, and boundaries creates healthier, higher-performing teams. If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at “woo-woo,” consider this your grounded reframe: intuition is trained awareness, hope is a stubborn ember, and surrender is a strategic move.

Community ties it all together. After years of isolation, we crave spaces where values are shared and ownership is distributed. Holly explains how purpose-led communities avoid burnout by elevating peer leadership and focusing on solutions over victimhood. We also look ahead at the booming retreats and wellness landscape, where standards and ethics will separate lasting impact from hype. Throughout, we return to a deceptively simple idea: if success equals happy, then your next step should align with what truly lights you up. Start small, love yourself where you are, serve someone near you, and let the ripple do its work.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a quick review to help others find these conversations. Your next shift might start here.

Transcript

Welcome And Episode Focus

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Welcome everyone. It's always good to have you back on Mind Force, the podcast sponsored by the three L's Love, Life, and Learning. I'm your host, Nate Shear. Today's episode is about moments that change you, the kind you don't plan for, the kind that asks something from you. We're talking about the Shift Framework, surrender, hope, intuition, faith, and transformation. We're also digging into purpose-driven leadership, transformational retreats, and what happens when people finally step into who they were meant to be. And we'll explore how purpose-led communities form, how those retreats and wellness space matures, and how life-altering experiences turn into meaningful impacts for others. This one's all about alignment and what happens after the wake-up call. Well, Holly, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Thanks for having me, Nate. Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Absolutely. For someone meeting you for the first time, how do you describe who you are and the work you're called to do?

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Gosh. Well, I first of all, I'm proud of my family. I have a big family, so I'm a mom and I'm a grandma and I'm a wife. But besides that, I am a born entrepreneur. And I have had 12 startup companies now. And some have been related, some have not. I don't, I just I don't know. I like being innovative. So I think just being a through and through entrepreneur and the shift I had, which was what we'll talk about, was four years ago when I got COVID. So that was my change that really opened my eyes to more and what life really could be and should be. And then we went from there.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

Nice. What would you say is the most odd business of the 12?

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Odd. Let me think. Let me just think about this for a second. Gosh, maybe odd. I don't know about odd, but I had a fundraising company, and that was very different. So we were dealing with all kinds of groups, mostly school groups, sports groups, helping them raid raise funds. And that was different. I we had our own little fun card. We called a F-U-N-D card, and it was a like a buy one, get one free, like on food deals and things like that. And so very popular in our town. People loved it. People love getting things for free. And then the economy kind of changed actually. And they end up doing like you had to buy two drinks to get the buy one, get one free, kind of like what you're seeing more now, just because of the affordability. But that was that was different. We just have to always be shifting in what we're doing to keep up with the the way things are headed.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Yeah, absolutely. You don't want to become like blockbuster, right? Before we dive in, what's one misconception people have about spirituality or retreats that you think needs a complete reset?

SPEAKER_00 3:13

The woo-woo. I think a lot of that misconceptions out there. People are embracing it a little more than they used to. 20, 25 years ago, you you know, it was new. It was just like a new age type thing. And yoga made it popular. And so a lot of people think of retreats as, oh, I gotta do yoga. But no, there's corporate and men's and women's and wellness retreats and anything you can think of, you could do a retreat about pretty much.

Mortality, Wake-Up Calls, And Service

SPEAKER_01 3:38

So absolutely. That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, I think that's one of the main purposes of the show, talking about different options and avenues for mental health. I think for the longest time we weren't able to talk about it. And now I think it's getting better, but we have to just continually kind of talk about it and continue that. It's always cool to work out your body, your physical body for whatever reason. Sometimes we get more into the mental or spiritual, you know, like you said, it just gets a little more taboo. Don't know why, but hopefully we can continue to break that stigma. Well, the last question in the introduction is what part of your own journey most shaped the work you're doing today?

SPEAKER_00 4:13

I would say my near-death experience when I got COVID and spent 70 days in the hospital was a not really just a wake-up call. You know, it wasn't like I was so far off track. I was doing everything I shouldn't have been, nothing like that. I I felt like, you know, I was a kind person, I was giving, I was doing service all the time. I had done a lot of good. And to realize that my time's not up and I could do a lot of more good, I guess, so to speak. So that's it.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yeah, it makes sense. I mean, when you're confronted with that, that's kind of pretty in your face and very obvious. I think that happens quite a bit. I lost my dad when he was 50, and so it's another thing where I think of things like that, where there's more things you want to do and trips and whatnot. Even though you feel like you've lived a good life and things are good, like I think that is a very big uh wake-up call and just a reminder for life being short and not like in the, you know, blow all your money and go crazy and whatnot, but just to cherish the moments, you know, maybe you do go out and get ice cream on a random Tuesday that you don't need to, or you know, you just kind of have fun and cherish the things along the way because you know that, you know, who knows what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Yeah. Yeah. That it reminds me of uh saying I was part of Rotary International for many years and I was president, helped with a couple international conferences. So I knew it very well. I was what they call a Paul Harris, where you know, you're a big donor, so you get this award. Their their motto was service above self. And while I was writing and finishing my book last year, I realized that is flawed. I mean, they were created in 1911 and a bunch of men, no offense, but you know, they didn't have that. It was like, no, if you are if you are not putting the oxygen mask on you first, at what level are you going to be able to serve? You can't give from an empty cup. The nurses and doctors couldn't have served me at the medical attention that I needed to be there for me if they wouldn't have been taken care of themselves. And I just feel like it's just kind of needs tweaked. Now it's service above self. I just think it's flawed, that opinion. But I feel like you do need to make sure that your needs are taken care of, especially when you talk about mental wellness, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 6:25

So yeah, I agree. I'm active duty military, and so we have different phrases and different things, you know. And one of them is like mission first, you know. And I think over the last couple of years, we've kind of shifted, and more people have said people first, mission always. Like the mission has to get done. Like we know that ultimately, like we can't give up on it. And so that shift towards people first, mission always, I think has been a really good shift. Because for the longest time it was like mission first, and then maybe you, you know, take care of you and your family somewhere down the line. But we've started to change the uh yeah.

People First Leadership And Mental Health

SPEAKER_00 6:59

No, that the fact that they're recognizing that is true hope for me. I just I love that they are because think about the leadership. If the leadership is not, if they're just all about the mission, they're not sleeping, they're not eating, they're how good a leader are they gonna be for you?

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Yeah, I've seen a lot of positive change too. It's been really cool. Like I had one commander, he'd post up his calendar on his door, just let you know like where he was and whatnot. And he'd have like his mental health visit or, you know, he's meeting with his therapist or whatnot. And so it's like, you know, 10 years ago, no one would have put that publicly out there. Now it's like, well, you know, not what they were talking about. He's not giving away like his personal information, but he's saying, I'm going. So if I'm going, it's fine. Like I'm leading by example. And people that leave on time, because for the longest time it was like the boss will stay the latest, and it's like seen as bad if the boss leaves any earlier. Now it's like he leaves so that everyone else can leave. And I think that's one thing that was kind of forgotten along the time. Like a lot of people are waiting for him because they're like, Oh, what is it if he needs something or whatever? And so he thought he was doing what he was supposed to by help, helping, he thought, but by staying late, then everyone else is staying late. So you just need to go home.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Yeah, so true. Yeah, lead by example, I always say, not do as I say, not as I do. That doesn't work I mean, that's a pet peeve of mine.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Absolutely. Well, Holland, before we get too far into it, I wanted to see if you had a question for me.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Well, I I would like to know how when you do these podcasts for people and you're putting this message out, like what in your heart is the message that you want to get across to your listeners the very, very most?

Why Kindness Is The Core Message

Deep Dive: The SHIFT Acronym

SPEAKER_01 8:32

I think it would be take care of others. And I'm sure that's like cliche, and sometimes I feel like a walking cliche, but it's just so interesting. I'll I've interviewed people. I'm coming up on, I think I just passed 100 interviews, and I've heard about journaling and mentorship and quiet time, meditate. Like the list is so long, but the core of these, like now that I look back and see a string throughout these, I've you know met people from completely different walks of life. I've interviewed people from Germany, Israel, Africa, Australia, all across, but it's always something tying back to their work wanting to help others. Like, and I've even had interviews on success, and those ones were always really interesting because the person believes success to be money, cars, and things. But by the end of the interview, you can tell like that was when they were younger. And when they transitioned and felt true success, or what you know, that definition, it was the people, the relationships, and the friendships. So all these things, like you said, you got to take care of yourself. So the deep breathing and the meditation in the morning and devotion and things like that, like those are absolutely for you. But I believe those to be so that you can take care of and be a better human and then take care of people throughout the day. We've seen so much time like pay it forward. Like you buy the coffee at Starbucks, and then like everyone else buys it, everyone else feels good, you know, and that costs money, but we even have holding the door open for somebody and you know, putting out a smile, and that ripples out so far. So I'd say past kindness, I guess, a simple act of kindness to someone else just ripples farther than you'll ever know. Sweet. Well, your first pillar is the SHIFT framework. So do you want to walk us through the acronym first, kind of give us the foundation?

Surrender And Transformation As Bookends

SPEAKER_00 10:19

Yeah. So you mentioned it earlier, it's sh SHIFT, surrender, hope, intuition, faith, and transformation. And yeah, the oh, it's 1111 here where I am, make a wish. That's a very significant number for me, by the way. That's part of my story. It's a lot and talk a lot about that. So funny that I was bringing up SHIFT when I looked at my book How? So, you know, really that whole acronym came about the book had a different name. It came from Near Death Shift was the name of the book, but it had a different name for a couple years before when I started working on it. And then when I switched it, it just felt so right. And I never I'm an overthinker. I really do make decisions very quickly, but this one was challenging. And, you know, I'd bring in a couple of my good friends and I just like wanted their feedback. And in the end, it had to feel right to me. And it was about 50-50, which was told also said, okay, you know, you got to go inside and decide, is this is this what you want, this book? So there was a lot of thought behind it. The SHIFT acronym wasn't part of the name, it came while I was writing the book, and I realized, wow, this this is perfect. This is exactly what I went through. And I was in such a spiritual place mentally while I was writing this book, which gave me so many great ideas and gave me the acronym and gave me all the things around it. I will tell you though, I love that that the S and the T are the bookends, which is surrender and transformation, because they really surrender has to come first. It really does. Before you go off into anything else, I mean, nobody does it alone. Ask any successful person, whether that's in life, relationships, money, whatever it is that defines their success. I guarantee you, they will not say they did it alone. And at some point, you just have to make that, whether it's your higher power, whatever that is for you, or a person, a mentor, a coach, a partner spouse, whatever it is, we need to surrender and ask for that help. And I think that's such a big step into realizing that you need it is just saying, you're right, I can't do this alone. Ben, been, been doing that, not working, and giving giving that up. But the transformation at the end is what comes after you do all the steps in between. And they don't have to be in any particular order necessarily. I I just love that that became my book be also became a part one and part two while this was happening, the first part. I didn't really want a memoir. It was my 17th book, so there's 17 chapters in the book, and I didn't really want it to be that because just because I just didn't. It was a sure it was a great story, but it for me, if it's not giving people personal development out of it and moving their life forward and relatable somehow, the story, then to me, there's there wasn't a purpose for that. And so part one's the story, part two is all the lessons that I learned within that. And I use the SHIFT acronym in there with eight lessons. And the other cool thing that happened, the eight chapters at the end are a like a picture of the life will that we've all seen, and there's different words for them. But for me, I had created them about five years before for a program called Close the Gap or Eight Means to Close the Gap to Prosperity. And I had never created the program for it. And one day I'm writing and I'm like, oh my gosh, there's my eight chapters with those. And so we we use the shift framework. We use people in history that we use for examples and thought-provoking questions that you can journal. So I feel like it's it it accomplished exactly what I needed. And so for me, it was very healing. And the feedback so far is great. So I I feel like it was definitely inspired.

Hope Versus Optimism In Hard Times

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Awesome. Sounds like a good good start, a good book. Uh, one to kind of go through some of the letters and the acronyms. So you kind of went through the bookends, the S and the T. So I'll start with the H. How does hope differ from optimism when life feels uncertain or heavy?

SPEAKER_00 14:23

How does it differ? Well, I think that when when we get to the point where we lose all hope, and I know people get there, especially when we're talking about mental wellness, that makes me sad to even think about that that low of a low because I've been there. I mean, two years after my experience, I got there. I I went, I call it my two years of hell in this story for almost two years. It just like every think of every bad day you've ever had, times it by a hundred, and that's how heavy I felt every day. I prayed, why why didn't I die? Like I wanted to. I was like, why did you why did God save me to do what I need to do? That's when I can understand that, but there was always that in my mind that flicker of hope. There was always, no, you got saved for a reason. You are enough, you are here for this. And it's just when you think of the opposite of that and having no hope. I can't say it for as low as I was, I ever could comprehend absolutely no hope. I mean, I I just I hear stories and I think, oh gosh, I guess I'm so grateful. As low as I felt, I pulled out knowing, you know, hey, there's a there's a purpose, there's a reason everything's happening. And I think that that glimmer of hope, find it. If you're feeling low, your listeners listening to this, and you just are like, wow, I'm just in total despair. Go get help. Like there is so much free help out there, and there's friends out there when you don't think you have any, you would be shocked at how many of your friends are probably have no idea that I I just woke up this morning and thought I hadn't seen this person post anything for a long time. And I went to it was our birthday today, is why I was wishing them happy birthday. After I wish them happy birthday, they had died in May. I had no idea. And I was just like, of course, I deleted my post because that was embarrassing, you know. But I'm just saying, like, we're sometimes our people aren't even aware. And so when you're looking for help, find somebody that'll listen because there's always someone who will.

Listening To Intuition And Awareness

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Absolutely. Everyone would rather be there with you than have to, you know, hear about a eulogy. Absolutely. Reach out, try to get help from somebody. The next one I wanted to ask about is intuition. What role does intuition play once somebody starts listening instead of forcing?

SPEAKER_00 16:45

We make it so hard on ourselves, and it really can be easy. And I think to me, it's just a mental shift in your head that it can tell yourself it can be easy. Everybody has that gut feeling about stuff. People think, no, I'm not intuitive, or oh, that's woo-woo. There's that word again. And they think, no, that's not for me, or or that person. And it's like, no, you have it. I mean, you have these gut instincts. I'm listening to a book right now that's a very long book. It's like a 14-hour book, and it talks a lot about these signs are there, all these bad things that have happened to people. I know the government hires this company to go in and they he explains the story, and then he'll say, Let's dissect that now. These were, these were the signs all along. I had a feeling not to walk into that gas station. So I decided, oh, I'll just come back later and get whatever they were gonna get. And then there was a robbery there and someone got shot. So I it's I just think it's we need to be more aware. I notice when I'm driving, I'm just like going to my location. I'm not really paying attention to my surroundings. I think that's the the awareness needs to be the first step, is just realizing, first of all, you have it, being aware that you have it, and then listening for it because it will come. And everybody gets it a little bit different. Some people have, like I always felt like I had that gift of knowing, and it's definitely heightened since my near-death experience. And people that have it know what I'm talking about because people often will say to you, How do you know that? You're not trying to be a know-it-all, but like you, you don't know how you know that. You just know. And if you have that and people have said that to you, that's it's a it's a gift and embrace it because it means you have it a little bit more than others, and that's okay. Doesn't mean you're psychic. It just means you are more aware and you are listening and you know within your body and soul that it's it's true for you.

What Makes A Retreat Transformational

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Awesome. That's good stuff. Well, that's the pillar of the shift framework. Your next pillar is a purpose-driven leadership and transformational retreats. So, what separates a transformational retreat from a feel-good escape? We talked about a little bit of yoga.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Yeah, you know, there you can put a name and a subject on any kind of a retreat, and they're all out there. Transformational to me is when you're going in and doing deep work, maybe some shadow work. So people will recognize that work. You're having a transformation. And we know it's a big change in a short period of time to me. That's transformational. And so a lot of people do retreats for that reason. There's silent retreats where you go for seven to 14 days and you don't talk at all. I think my brain would blow up. I I just I have too much going on in there. I mean, I can have lots of conversations with myself, but like I I light up with people. I like to be around people, so that wouldn't be one I would choose. But yoga is gonna help do things with exercise. And a lot of people think, oh, I'm going to a yoga retreat and I'm gonna be sore the whole time because all we're gonna be doing is yoga. And there's just so many different things out there that that make retreats different. And so I would say really research where you're going, who you're going with. There's some women that just want to go on a girl's trip. They go to a retreat for a girl's trip. That's fine. There's people that go to these transformational retreats that I will share that don't participate. And you're kind of hurting the whole group when you don't participate or you don't play full out. If you're gonna go to something transformational to me, I say you just let let loose and let be what it's gonna be. And that's when you'll get the transformation.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

So, do you have any advice? I think a lot of people, maybe I'm speaking on their behalf, but like you said, they hear it from the outside, they're like, that sounds a little woo-woo. Do you have any advice as someone like, oh, I would never go to one, there's not one for me, you know, fill in the blank, some kind of negative comment. We're like, oh, I'm not gonna go. How do you how do you get those people out?

Corporate Retreats And Real Team Building

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah. Well, let's let's use a corporate retreat for an example, for instance. So the corporation realizes, hey, if we do some team building and we spend three days together on a long weekend, the company pays for, and we bring all our executives and our teams in and force them, basically, some of them are going kicking and screaming because it's mandatory, probably that they go. I think it's they're not gonna get like this big transformation over it. But the team building part of it, I think it's all in who they bring in to build those skills. I think it's it's great. Like corporates, I think it's great to bring in outside sources that because they see the leaders all the time. And if the leaders are leading team building things, to me, they need to be part of the team doing the team building things. And you bring out outside sources that will help do things and they're out there. Part of my company is creating a platform where people that want to go on retreats to support that, along with your cooks and your massage therapists that they bring in for these kinds of things for relaxation. I think you just have to have the purpose and the focus and then get get them excited about it. But bring, don't be afraid to bring in help because you can't be an expert at everything.

Common Breakthroughs And Icebreakers

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Yeah, that's a good reminder. A lot of times in the military, we have mandatory fun, as we call it, where we're forced to go. I've always struggled with it as a leader. I've tried to do events and you know, raise money and had it for free and things like that. And still, sometimes people this one time we had this big building, uh, it's called Round One, it's in Japan, and they have an arcade and batting cages and like pretty much anything you could think of, you could do. There's even a floor, it's all it is is mistaken. Sauce, chairs, and anime, so you can just sit and read if you're a like more introvert and wanted to relax. And I had people on that one still like, uh, there's nothing. I don't like this. So sometimes it's it's hard to get people to convince. What during the retreats, what do you think? I'm sure there's a bunch. So maybe is there like a top, you know, list or something? What do you think of the most common thing people realize about themselves during retreats?

Purpose Redefines Leadership And Legacy

SPEAKER_00 22:47

Hmm. I think that I think people become more open to change during a retreat because it's it's like watching a movie or a love story on a movie, say for instance. I mean, I always joke to my husband, yep, yep, they're gonna get in that fight and then they'll fall in love and it's all gonna happen in an hour. Look what they can do to our minds of just watching a show with the same plot that we've seen a million times. And I think it's that. I think for me, thinking about it, it's just like, what can we do that will make that kind of a change for someone? But I think when people, especially if they agree to agree and they're not forced to go to a retreat, for instance, you know, a couple's retreat, maybe their spouse is making them go. And so they're not as receptive. And I think if you go with your own ideas and be open to it, I think change would be what people would recognize the most.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Awesome. What do you think is the most like unique or off-the-wall icebreaker or game or something you've done where it'd be just interesting to hear a story of something that people have done?

SPEAKER_00 23:55

Oh my gosh, nothing is coming to my mind. Usually I can think of things really fast. I love icebreakers, by the way. And you can, you know, chat GPTM, they'll give you so many ideas of things you can do that are outside the box. I always like to do things a little bit different than than either I've done or or something that's just been super powerful. Not every icebreaker is gonna be powerful for everybody, but I think any icebreaker where you can bring in in the beginning to get people to bring their walls down and get to know each other, because you're gonna have all these personalities in the same room. And it could be with six people, it could be with a hundred people, depending on the size of the retreat. And so I think any any kind of an activity that you can get people moving around, asking questions, being curious, getting to know each other, just being open and letting, like I said, those walls down. I can't think of an exact one to share with you, but that's that's what I would recommend.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

You gotta push through that Storm and Norman phase and get everyone on the same per same page and moving forward. I'm curious, how does stepping into purpose change the way someone leads at home, at work, and in their community?

Finding Purpose And Choosing Happiness

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Well, the word that comes when you say that is they're focus-driven more. They just for me, purpose was I even changed my nonprofit from my near-death experience from the mission. I was given the name in my near-death, but not the mission. And I even changed that and made it now for women leading with purpose because purpose is what I came out of my experience with. Before that, I mean, sure, I have a great family and I I live for them and that's all wonderful. And I never felt like I really had like, what's the legacy I'm gonna leave? Like I always thought bigger. I always was like, everything I want to do is international. Like I want to be a world changer, you know? And I know that's not for everybody, but for me, it was it wasn't about me and and me being in the limelight. It was about the creative of it and innovating something that doesn't exist. And so that gets me excited. So I think for me to feel like I got handed my life Bible for me from my near-death experience, like that, wow, what a gift. I mean, who wouldn't want that, right? It's like here, here's your end result, and you get to figure out everything in between, but this is where this is what it's supposed to be and what it's supposed to look like. So that changed purpose for me to go, wow, that's there for me. And not everybody gets that. How you find your purpose is gonna be up to you. Same with the whole book title that I was struggling with. I can't just put it out there for other people to decide. Your purpose has got to be what lights you up. It's gotta be a calling. And that's what I felt I gained was a calling. And there's there's a big difference in the energy shift around that.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Do you have any advice on that? I feel like a lot of people, I think the statistic is, I don't know what it is, like 60% of people don't enjoy their job or something like that. So there's, you know, a lot of people out there that feel like they're trudging through, you know, going for the paycheck or things like that. Do you have any advice for anyone trying to find that calling? How how do you do you stumble it? It seems like a lot of people have like you have this experience and then, oh boom, I know. But some people like if it's just mildly discomforting, you'll just kind of keep doing the same thing for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Well, and to be miserable. Like when you were talking about success earlier, my definition of sex success is one word and it's so simple for me. It's happy. It's not about money, and it's not I as much as I love people, it's not about people. It's if I am happy. And I will tell you a little story of that, about that. When so I'm a real estate broker 20 years, and when I first started, my broker said to me, he pulled me aside, and I always had at least two or three companies going at once. So I never did real estate completely full time. And he's pulled me aside. He says, You realize you'd be my number one agent if you would just do real estate, you know, do that one thing. I hear that all the time. And I looked him right in the eyes and I said, You know, you're right, I would. It was a compliment. He had number four in the nation working in his office. And so I was like, that was so nice. But I said, But you know what? I said, I wouldn't wake up every day happy. And years later, he got dementia really bad. He ended up passing away. But he was really bad at dementia, didn't hardly recognize people. And I ran into him, assuming he wouldn't even recognize me. And he looked at me and he grabbed me by the hands and he said, Are you still doing a hundred things at once? That's what he remembered about me. And no, that's not always the best. I agree. But people, if you're not happy in what you're doing, what can you do to change it? I mean, don't just go quit your job, right? Like find another one first. Find something that's gonna light you up. A lot of people get out of college. I don't know what the statistics are, and they never, they never work in their degree. They have a degree and they never work in it. My brother-in-law, who ended up committing suicide, he went to law school. Actually, when he was in his 30s, he went to law school and he hated it. He hated it. And then he ended up committing suicide. And I thought, oh my gosh, you've got four kids and a wife, and you've done all this, now you have all this debt from law school, and now you hate it. I mean, it's like hopefully people can figure it out before they get into that because a lot of people don't, and they just, you know, go to the grind and keep going. And to me, find out what makes you happy. And life's too short to be unhappy for me. I'll I'll I'll walk away from anything for my happiness, and it hasn't always served me. I wouldn't always say I planned, you know, that well, but for me, it's I've made it work. And I always know my motto is better better's better, especially with my health, with everything I went through. It's like every day, what can I do to make it better than it was yesterday? And I just had that mindset. And things just show up. They will.

Why Community Matters More Now

SPEAKER_01 29:44

I love that. I think we just gotta almost foot stomp or reiterate that if we need one definition of success, just make it happy. I think that is probably as easy and as simple as it can possibly be, whatever that means to you. And that's why I think I feel like that works so well is because that is whatever it is for you. I think a lot of people want to fill that in in a certain way. But yeah, everyone listening, success, just replace it with happy. There it is. Just be happy. Your final pillar is building purpose-led communities. Why do you think people crave community now more than ever?

SPEAKER_00 30:22

Well, the big C word, COVID, would be why it that's an easy. We all suffered. I think I suffered a lot more than most just because I lived through what I did, but I feel so grateful that I did because I mean I had two intubations and a trachea and sepsis, 70 days in the hospitals. Like the fact that I walked out of there was a miracle. I dedicated a whole chapter in my book on just all the miracles that happened. They happen every day. And and I feel like we overlooked them. I I feel like I'm more aware of those blessings now and those things, the little stuff. I would have never even went, oh, okay, this this went right today. There was so much that went wrong, but this went right today. Thank you, you know, and just living more in that gratitude. But I feel like repeat the question again, because I had a thought about that when you said it and then I got off track.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Why do people crave community now more than ever?

SPEAKER_00 31:18

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so that's what got me down there, the COVID. It's so important to, I think we realized being isolated. I mean, COVID was something that the whole world suffered from all at once. And I can't think of anything in the history of the world where that quickly, especially because we have the internet and social media now, that everybody was suffering at the same time. And it was so emotional. You know, we were just watching as the whole world was falling apart so quickly. I think community got stronger. I think people realized, okay, a lot of people realized I can work remote now. And so a lot of people are doing that. But a lot of people are also realizing they hated working remote. They wanted to be around people, they wanted that. And it it really does cost companies a lot more money to have people remote. I mean, I realize you've got overhead and stuff in buildings, but I think it was like$12,000 or something it costs to have an employee work remote. And I just think that's what's changed is realizing how important community is. And if people want, again, it goes back to we don't do it alone, but you also want to be in and or be building, if you're an entrepreneur or a person that likes to build, the right community. Because if you're in the wrong community, things can go really, really bad quickly too. So I think it's finding your own tribe. And I've had coaches, I've I can honestly say I've outgrown every coach I've ever had, which is a good challenge to have. For me, I like to work with people that they're it's quick. It's like if I can't help you in 90 days to six months, then maybe I'm not the person for you. Because I want fast change. Other people, they like being victims, and that's what I really realized in the community I was building with the podcast for long COVID originally before we shifted our mission was for long COVID. It was a community that it was underserved and it was so needed, and I was living it. But at the end, my answer was that's not your mission, and it's and that wasn't my podcast I was supposed to be doing at the time because it was bringing my mental health down because I was focused on wellness, and so many people are focused on being sick, being the victim, and you know, looking for the problems instead of solutions. And so for me, it just like I was so glad I got that answer to shift and and build that community with women leading with purpose instead of the long COVID community, as much as sadly it's so needed, but YouTube was suppressing it. So it was just making it, there were just challenges. There's a hundred million people suffering from long COVID, for instance. But I was struggling to get guests on my show. And it was just like nothing fit. And so my suggestion is find your tribe, find your community that's going to work for you, and then give it all you got.

Building Healthy, Purpose-Led Communities

SPEAKER_01 34:05

I think it's a really important reminder of that we're social creatures. I think that we need each other, and like I mentioned before, helping each other and kindness and things like that. Like me and my wife and our family, we like to do board game nights, and we were in Japan at the time and just so sad because we could only see our own family. They were capping the number of people that you could see at four within that six feet and things like that. And so, like that environment where we used to have people over and socialize and whatnot. It was it was definitely a difficult time. They roped off the beaches and put like padlocks to the swing sets. So even being outside in the fresh air, we were restricted. Japan and Korea kind of like fought to be the most restrictive, it felt like a lot of times we'd have meetings at work where we were told we could only go to work and home, and that was it. So it's like, can I go to the grocery store? Like, not if you can help it. So it was definitely a weird time. I was thinking about the other day, like my kids lived through it, but I was thinking the kids that weren't born yet, it'll be so wild to tell them, well, there's a time where no one could move and you couldn't do things, and they probably won't believe us. Like, I don't know. They'll probably say that we're making it up. Like you had to be there. It was definitely a wild, wild time.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Well, and the kids that are living, like I had four grandkids that were born during COVID, and they they don't have immune systems because they weren't around anybody. They were isolated so much, so they're sick all the time. I truly believe that happened. And then you've got the kids that didn't get their senior graduations, they didn't get the senior year. And you think about that that kind of messed up. I have a niece that I think that really messed with her. And those memories you don't have of prom and senior graduation and you know, walking with all your students. I don't know. I just, it's sad how there's so many ways people suffered, but every age, every age.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

Yeah, it was difficult. The biggest thing I remember is they wanted us to keep a contact log. So everyone that you were too close to you're supposed to keep a name of it. And then if there was an outbreak or something, then basically everyone would get in trouble, at least for the military. And so they'd find your notebook or whatever, and then the 10 people that you were around all got in trouble because you were too close or your number was too high. And so not only like were our parties and the stuff like reduced, but overall morale was so low because everybody was freaked out that you were about to get on someone's list or so it was a very weird uh dis uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

I remember the app was not an app. Your phone trapped like how close you were or something. But you had to turn it off. If you didn't, I was like, I turned it off as soon as I heard about it. I thought, I don't need to be governed this much. I'm a big girl. I mean, obviously I got it and got really sick, but gee, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

Wild time.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

But we made it through and now it's just a story, right?

SPEAKER_01 36:55

Yeah, we made it through. We've lived through some wild things. I'm curious in the purpose-led community section, what makes a purpose-led community sustainable instead of depending on a single person?

SPEAKER_00 37:08

I think because you get that community built around a purpose and it changes everything about it because it's it's the tribe thing. It's like a group can do more than one person. And again, yeah, that's your surrender. You've got to realize hey, how much more can I have my purpose? How much further in life can I go if I have people working with me, maybe for you, but with you is even better. And moving your whole purpose forward and whatever that purpose is, I mean, there it can be simple. I mean, there's there's people that have very small goals and that's the biggest they want to go. And you know what? That's great. Accomplish them. That's that's the purpose, right? Is to get them accomplished, whatever you're looking to do, make it happen, big or small.

The Future Of Retreats And Growth Trends

SPEAKER_01 37:52

Awesome. Yeah. I'd love to look towards the future, give some ideas to people out there in the next three, five or distant future. What do you think? What shifts are occurring in the retreat and wellness industry over the next few years?

SPEAKER_00 38:07

Oh, I'm so excited about that. So I just incorporated the first, it's called International Retreat Association. So just barely we got it done in the last month. And it's it doesn't exist. And it's a group where we have no standards or the values that everybody belongs to. And it just building a new community internationally to bring people together. So retreats, yes, if you're thinking about them, definitely it will be a great place to go. Plan it, you know, just make it happen. I think I think it's just thinking bigger all the time and making making whatever it is your desires figure out how to happen. The retreat industry, my stats were 2022 was a$180 billion industry, and by 2032 it was supposed to grow to$364 billion. And a couple weeks ago, I just got a new stat that it's already up to like$222 billion as of 2024. And then 2029, three years sooner, is that 363 is what it said. Billion dollar industry. So, and you're talking trillions when you talk about the global travel wellness, but we're talking about that retreat industry of what's going on. I mean, people are willing. Uh every time I travel now, like my planes are full. It's busy. And so I think, gosh, you know, you kind of think, are we in a recession? Like I watch because of my real estate, you know, and I watch how how high the interest rates are, and I watch how everything's happening, and I'm like, it's not stopping anybody. I mean, their doors when I shopped during the holidays, they were jam-packed. You know, they were, they had, I mean, don't you remember a few years ago, you'd go and everything was empty. They have supply. It was just, it was great to see. I felt like even though it didn't feel like the economy's that great, it it seemed like it was. Maybe everyone's just in a lot of debt. I don't know the answer to that, but well, that's amazing.

First Steps To Start Your Own Shift

SPEAKER_01 40:02

It sounds like a good future. That's B and billions. That's uh that's a lot of money. Lots of good stuff. Well, you had three amazing pillar, Holly. Let's try to bring all three of them together. If someone feels the pull towards change but fears what surrender might cost them, what is the very first step they can take to begin their own shift?

SPEAKER_00 40:23

Okay, this is this is gonna get um well, I'm just gonna say it because this is what my message that I came back with from my near-death experience was love them where they're at. And I didn't get that message until I revisited it in a hypnosis session about it, because there were some things missing when I was writing my book. And that message would have changed that two years of hell that I went through. So I want whoever needs to hear this today to hear love yourself first, because loving love them where they're at begins with you. And if you're struggling, love yourself. Okay, that's number one. And then if you're struggling with someone else, serve them. If if someone's bothering you, best thing you can do is go serve them somehow, some way, whether they know about it or they don't, you will feel so much better. And just know that we love them where they're at takes that judgment away from the way we handle things and the way we feel things. And I I mean, my life would have changed for those two years had I remembered that full message. So that's really what I would leave with is that message right there.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

That's a pretty amazing final takeaway. Can't really end much better than that. Well, Holly, thank you for the clarity, the depth, and the work you're doing in the world. Before we close, where can listeners connect with you, your retreats, and your community?

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Yeah. Hollyporter.com's my website. I'll send you, if you can put in the show notes, I have a link tree. That sends you to all my socials, the website, the book if you want to get that, whatever. Any way you can get a hold of me, that's all on that one link.

SPEAKER_01 41:58

Perfect. We'll definitely get it posted. Well, to everyone listening, transformation doesn't start with answers, it starts with listening. I love you all. See ya.