Design A Life You’d Be Proud To Be Remembered For w/ Rabbi Daniel Cohen

What if the fastest way out of overwhelm isn’t a grand plan, but two simple moves: gratitude and kindness? Rabbi Daniel Cohen joins us to map a clear path from anxiety to agency, weaving story, scripture, and street-level tactics you can use today. We start with purpose as a living practice, not a slogan—why identity frays without it, and how grace and a growth mindset keep you from letting mistakes define you.

From there, we tackle information overload and the economy of outrage. You’ll hear why attention hygiene is moral hygiene, how Sabbath-style boundaries restore calm, and how to turn technology into a servant instead of a master. Rabbi Cohen shares the hinge moment that reshaped his life—the sudden loss of his mother—and how reaching her age later forced a deeper audit of time, legacy, and what truly matters. The result is “sacred scheduling,” a weekly way to protect the important from the tyranny of the urgent, and a deceptively small practice that changes everything: one minute of prayer, one minute of fresh gratitude, one minute to brighten someone’s day.

We close by reframing courage as daily integrity. It’s choosing conviction over convenience, noticing the “burning bush” in your own orbit because you paused long enough to see it, and trusting that when you take the first faithful step, the sea often parts after. Whether you’re navigating grief, doomscrolling fatigue, or just the ache of busyness, this conversation offers tools, language, and hope: design a life you’d be proud to be remembered for, one intentional day at a time.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a lift, and leave a review with the one act of courage you’re committing to this week.

Transcript

Purpose, Identity, And Imperfect Faith

SPEAKER_00 0:24

It's good to have you back here on Mind Force. Welcome back. I'm your host, Nate Shear. Today's conversation feels timely, maybe even overdue. We're talking about three big ideas that shape how we live right now and how we can continue to step through in 2026. We're in January. This will probably release in the first few months of the year. So let's continue to step through 2026. So some of the topics are from anxiety to agency, understanding what you control, and letting go of what you don't. The idea that your real job might be one act of courage a day. And the moment everything changed, a story about time, purpose, and what actually matters when life gets your attention. This episode isn't about predictions, it's about presence. Rabbi Cohen, welcome. For those meeting you for the first time, how do you typically describe who you are and the work you feel called to do at this moment?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I thank you very much. Well, you know, I think of myself as a soul that was put into this world to fulfill God's purpose. You know, every one of us is given the breath of life every day to be a partner with God in helping improve the world. And the more that I can be mindful of that purpose and tap into that higher frequency of living, that's ultimately what God asks from me and He asks from each and every one of us.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Absolutely. I think that's, you know, kind of underrated. We hear it from time to time, but I know myself being military. One thing we see when people leave the service is that lack of purpose, lack of identity. It's very difficult for people. They've done something for 20 plus years, and when they lose that purpose, they like deteriorate physically. I mean, it's more of a spiritual, you know, mental aspect of it, but also like your body starts to break down. So I'm glad you bring that up. Super important to have that purpose. Before we go much further, what's one assumption people make about rabbis or faith leaders that totally misses the mark?

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Well, they feel that we don't struggle like everybody else. Like we're automatically plugged into always wanting to do the right thing and always, you know, knowing exactly how we can make the most of every day, but we struggle. You know, we also have moments when we may be lamenting the problems, but not looking at the possibilities. And that's a real human journey that we all go through. So, you know, I've learned in life that I can see people later on and you think they're finished products, but like all of us, it takes daily discipline to really grapple with how do I make sure that I'm leading not through my body, but leading through my soul. And whether I'm a rabbi or not, we're all engaged in that struggle to achieve what God had in store for us when we were put into this world.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

It's such an interesting thing, just so funny to me, too, because you see similar things when people are at the gym and someone's like overweight, they like make fun of the person that's overweight in the gym. That's exactly where they're supposed to be, working on it and getting better, you know? So I find that just so bizarre. And it's something I've you know that's come up in our Bible studies that we have at work on Wednesdays, and it's just interesting. Like if you have something where you mess up or you know, something happens, you get cut off in traffic and you do something you're you shouldn't have done. And it's like, oh, well, that person's a Christian, you know, how could they do that? It's like, we're all people. I mean, if we didn't need saving, if we didn't need any, you know, thing, we wouldn't, you know, we wouldn't have a savior and we wouldn't need any of those things. We'd be perfect, but unfortunately, you know, God's the only one that's perfect. But yeah, I've never really quite understood that. I'd be like, oh, I can't believe you. I can't believe you did that. And I think it's one thing we have, like with, you know, kind of hypocrite and we hear that a lot. Well, you go to church, but you do this. It's like, but we're all human. I mean, if you continue to do it and don't kind of course correct, maybe that's a different issue, but we're never gonna have perfect days.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

No, I think look, you know, God's not asking for perfection, but he is asking for, you know, you mentioned it before, progress. He's asking for presence. He's asking us to be in a growth mindset, not in a fixed mindset. And that's one of the challenges. You know, fixed mindset is this is the way I was born. This is the way I always am going to be. I can't improve. I can't grow. I I'm so busy, I can't take control of my life. And God says, look, you know, you can grow. That's what I put you in here for. You have tremendous potential that I gave you. And, you know, having that growth mindset, we need to see that in others and understand that people can change. And we also need to see that in ourselves and not get stuck where we made a mistake and don't allow the mistakes to define who we are. You know, somebody told me a few months ago, they said the most important conversation they had was when they were in high school. It was a woman who's now in her 60s, and she said, Look, I was not the best teenager, but I ended up in the principal's office. And the most important thing he said to me is don't define yourself by what you did. Define yourself by what you're gonna do today and how you're gonna make your life better. And that enabled her to let go, forgive herself, and move forward. And we all need to be gracious with ourselves in that regard and be gracious with others as well.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Yeah, I just got to make one less mistake than the day before. I try to kind of live by that motto. But I think it is a good reminder for people that are out there listening. Like if you get baptized or if you, you know, get into a faith and you're trying to follow, you know, your creator and things like that, you don't, like to your point, automatically become awesome. Like you're still working on things and and progressing through. So a little bit of grace, you know, feel okay with that transition you're going through as you, you know, switch over, but try to make things a little bit better. Well, before we get too much farther, I wanted to ask if you had a question for me.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Yeah, I would say what inspires you to remain optimistic about a world sometimes that is looking too chaotic and too dark. I get that question as a rabbi a lot, and I have my approach, but I'm wondering somebody comes to you and says, the world is crazy. Like, how do I, you know, make the thing better? It's too overwhelming. How do you guide people?

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Yeah, I think I would have to go back to like human connection. I think on the show I've had so many different people and I give all these different answers to questions about journaling, meditating, deep breaths, all these things. And I was asked this question like, what do you think the core theme of your show is? And I wanted to start to say some of those things, but then I kind of pause and I think it all boils down to human connection. Even the deep breathing and these different things we do, that's so that we can be prepared to show up better in the world. And so I think that is a common question like, you know, how can you bring children into this world? Or, you know, things are so bad right now. That is true. There is a lot of bad. We're a broken world, we're a fallen people, but I think you have to grab on to the moments where you see light from someone else, you hold the door from someone else, you go to a soup kitchen, you you do these things and get that feeling of interaction with other people. We were designed to be social creatures. We're supposed to take care of each other. And so I think that would be what it would be human, human connection. Like things are not all bad. You see moments of humanity. Like I've seen the videos where someone catches somebody on the edge of the bridge before they jump, and you know, you have six people in that one image. I forget where it's at. I think I actually might be out here in the UK, but they physically hold this person through the railing because they don't want to lose this person. And you have moments like that where that's so powerful. Their fingers are hurting, they're in pain, but they're gonna hold this person and not let them go. I think that's what I'd say. What do you what do you usually say?

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Well, it's interesting. I mean, look, you know, I think we're both people of faith. And I understand that and I believe that any moment that we have where God puts somebody in our orbit, we have a responsibility to ensure they leave our orbit feeling better about themselves than when they entered our orbit. And that could be on an elevator, that could be in a coffee shop. And God is not asking us to change the world, but he's saying, look, change the world of one person every day. And a lot of people with the mindset of bringing a little light can create a huge, huge flame in the world. And I think, you know, our job again is not to finish the task, but just to remind people, as you said, be present. I think it was a great point. When we take that deep breath and we meditate, it's a way for us to recenter and align our life with our purpose, which is to bring a little bit of light into the world that touches us. And the more that we can be that conduit, you know, the more that we can actually not only lift others, but we become uplifted when we help other people. You know, and I like to think of it as a candle. You know, one candle lights many flames, and that initial candle is never diminished. No matter how much I give, there's always a new reservoir of giving, certainly when it comes to kindness, that will continue to be flowing through me every single moment that I take advantage of that opportunity.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Absolutely. Yeah, I think those random act of kindness, and I think a lot of times we want like big, showy things, which I don't know where that comes from, but the smile, the holding the door, those like smaller things like makes that day better for someone. Grabbing someone's coffee for five bucks and then, you know, they pay it forward and things like that. But I think, like you said, awesome reminder again of that ripple effect. It, you know, they go on to impact three people, five people, and we've seen the, you know, the statistics and the things that go on. I just sometimes we don't always put it into practice. But yeah, I think kindness, it's it's free a lot of times, maybe minimal effort and time, but you always feel better. I've mentioned that on the show too. If you go and help and volunteer and go do something you enjoy, like not only do you give back, but you feel better. If you're leaving like the soup kitchen helping other people, feeling worse than you went in, I think there's some other problem going on. You should feel better always helping other people. Well, we'll transition into your first pillar, Rabbi Cohen. You got the day everything changed. So can you kind of lay the foundation, the baseline? Take us to the moment where your life shifted.

Human Connection As Antidote

SPEAKER_01 10:15

Yeah, thank you very much. You know, for me actually, I am blessed that I grew up in a home that was very much focused on gratitude, focused on kindness, focused on, you know, we had a very open home growing up in Atlanta, which is where I grew up. And just a real upbeat sense that faith was not a burden, but it was a blessing. And opportunities to help were not complications, but they were gifts to actually seize. But for me, when my mom passed away from a brain aneurysm, that's really when my life turned totally upside down. I mean, again, I grew up with a mom who would always say when asked how she was doing, thank God, fantastic. Things are always great. Very upbeat. I'm the oldest of six kids, so it was a little chaotic, but she always, you know, was just very upbeat, smiled and warmed. But I was in college at the time in my early 20s, it's over 36 years ago. And I was visiting actually my mom, it was my parents at the time, and I got the worst phone call of my life. That my mother suffered a brain aneurysm. She had a second brain aneurysm, and within 48 hours she died. And I learned in that moment that life can change in an instant. And obviously, I'm the oldest of six. My youngest sister was eight at the time, and our whole life was turned upside down. And that obviously was a catalyst to really think more deeply about life, but it was not until I got to the same age as my mother. When I turned 44 and I was realized my mom was young, but then when I got to the same age that my mother was when she lost her life that year, really got to me and helped me think deeply. Am I doing the most that I can with the life that God has given me? And that set me on a trajectory of writing and really thinking about how can I help people not live life from crisis to crisis. There's no atheist in a foxhole. If somebody's sick, they begin to take all those things that they took for granted and they really think about it. Somebody's at a funeral, they really think, well, what can I do to make the most of life? And then you go back 15 minutes later, you just go back to the old habits. So let me on a journey of how can I help people and myself identify what is the best version of the life that I want to lead. And then I developed this idea of taking people on a journey of seven principles to reverse engineer their life so they lead the life now for how they want to be remembered. And that's really where my head's been and my heart's been over the past 10 years. Just growing in that area, teaching in that area, and helping inspire people to uh understand the gift of every day and their purpose in this world.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

That's awesome. Yeah, I kind of smirked a little bit on the age thing because it's just comical. We kind of went through Christmas and we were watching holiday movies and we're watching the movie Home Alone, and you have the mom in the movie. And I always thought that, you know, she was whatever age, I didn't really know. But in the movie, she's supposed to be 36. She has like a full family, and now I'm like well past 36. I'm like, wait, she was only 36? Like, I don't know. Kind of funny how how time is you fly by. But yeah, I resonate a lot with that. I lost my dad to lung cancer when he was 50. And so I've always kind of been an Yeah. I've always been a kind of upbeat person and whatnot. But I think that like kind of solidified, like you said, the ability to help others and not get down and kind of worry about things as much uh because life's so short. I I think I kind of always knew that. But sometimes you have those pivotal moments where he worked all the way until passing away. And so you kind of wonder, like, you know, we all say, oh, we'll wait for retirement and then we'll travel, then we'll do the fun stuff, and we'll do this. And like I think you just got to get out and do stuff along the way, enjoy life and help others. And, you know, time's just gonna keep on pressing on. You don't know uh what's gonna happen. You can't take anything with you. So that's definitely a super good reminder. I'm curious that that experience that you had, what did that teach you about urgency versus important?

The Day Everything Changed

SPEAKER_01 14:17

So I think that, you know, oftentimes we confuse the two. I mean, I guess to a certain degree, we have a habit of just trying to check off our boxes with the task that is in front of us. But real growth and impact happens when we focus not just what on is urgent, but what is important. Now, look, there's no question that sometimes you got to do things right away. But at the same time, we get this false sense of satisfaction, which actually is a little bit shallow that, oh, I accomplished a lot today. I went to the supermarket, I I cleaned, I paid the bills, I was busy all day. But that doesn't mean that I moved my life forward. That doesn't mean that I lived a life of purpose. And I'm a big believer in really taking a step back and saying, what are the things that I want to accomplish today that I'll be most proud of? And then make sure that you actually schedule. I call it sacred scheduling. I can do emails and phone calls and all that when let's say my mind isn't the freshest. I don't answer emails every single moment of the day. I allow a couple hours during the day for deeper soul work, for impact work, for relationship work, and then I allow the other things to fill in. So I think that it's important to really make that distinction between what's important and look at your life not in days, look at it in weeks. Okay, you got 168 hours a week and say, out of the 168 hours, I want to dedicate five of those hours to moving my life forward spiritually. What are you gonna do? Does that mean you're gonna make sure you're gonna do some studying, you're gonna do some writing, you're gonna take some walks with the people that you love? And before you schedule anything else, put that in. Because then that just becomes like sacred time for you. And I find over time, when you create the sacred scheduling and look at your life more in the hours as opposed to just in days or weeks, you find that we always have time for the things that are important. It's rarely an issue of time, it's an issue of priorities. So ask yourself what your priorities are and then fill your calendar at least somewhat with the things that are the highest priority, and you'll find you'll really feel much better about the way you spent your time.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Yeah, absolutely. It reminds me of the quote from the CEO of Southwest. He said you can judge someone's priorities by their checkbook and calendar. If you book the time and block the time, it'll definitely be there. I'm curious, we're coming into the new year, like I mentioned, a lot of people want to throw out New Year's resolutions. They kind of get a bad rep. Now that we're talking about goals, what are some of your tips or tricks like reflecting back or how do you process? Like having goals is a good idea, but a lot of people throw them out and never execute. Do you have ideas on how to execute those?

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Sure. I mean, one thing actually that I started actually on January 1st, I run something called the Legacy Academy, which is a uh a 10-month program to help people lead life more intentionally and with videos and worksheets and really keeps people mindful about what's really important. Like today, for example, we had a cohort conversation about the importance of creating memories. Like you look back on life and you realize that you never remember days, but you remember moments. And what are the moments from years ago that still pulsate within you? And why are those moments within you? And how do you craft those for other people? So what I did, uh which I think worked, I I told people, I said, let's do a 10-day legacy challenge. And I gave them a task every morning. It was a group of about 150, 200 people. Because sometimes we don't realize that you gotta look at each day. So you talk about making changes, everybody's got resolutions, but in order to actually effectuate that change, it takes practice every day. It takes actualization every day. And just come up with one thing. And one of the things I recommend is I call the three minutes a day. Now, who who's listening to this doesn't have three minutes? Everybody's got three minutes. This is what you gotta do. One minute is one minute of prayer. Choose a verse that you love. Just pog it. So for me, I like to quote Isaiah chapter 40. Those who have faith in God, their strength will be renewed. They will grow wings like eagles and will run and not walk. Reminds me that God is my co-pilot every day. I don't carry everything on my own. The second minute is write something you're grateful for. Start your gratitude journal. But here I remind people, don't repeat yourself. I learned this from my daughter who told me at the time she was up to almost 800 of them. She doesn't repeat herself, which forces her to find new things. And she said to me, she said, every night before I go to sleep, I read 50 of them. How can I not be grateful? So one minute of prayer, one minute of gratitude. And the third minute is a minute to make a difference in somebody's life. I'll explain what I mean by that. Take 10 minutes on a Sunday and write down people, just names, just brainstorm names. This person is sick. This is a teacher that helped me out 30 years ago. This is a friend that I lost touch with in college. Make a list. And then one minute, just focus on one person, send them a text. I'm thinking about you. I hope you feel better. I just want to let you know that 30 years ago, I'm so grateful you helped me get the job. Just do that. And you'll find that those three minutes become not only probably the most important three minutes of the day, but they'll actually reorient your life to try to find more of those three minutes every day. And it'll make every day something which is worthy of future memory.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Dang. Yeah, those are three wonderful ideas. I I love that. It reminds me, I had a course in my career where I was at a certain point and I wanted to get to another point, but I kind of got off the timeline of my application and things got a little messed up and, you know, kind of in relation to my dad passing away. But I came back and I had some people make some phone calls on my behalf, and it kind of got me through to where I am. And now I'm in this place in this career that I love, I enjoy. I'm like eight, nine years in on this side and really enjoying it and loving it. And I reflect back on that quite a quite a bit where someone made that phone call. It was free. It took a couple minutes of their time. I don't know how long they chatted with, but they just as easily could have been like, yeah, you know, it is what it is, and pressed on. And, you know, someone taking the time altered someone's life completely. Like mine is completely different than it was if they would have skipped that one phone call. So it's interesting. Yeah, absolutely. Well, we'll transition to your second pillar, which is from anxiety to agency. I think uh modern life is kind of complicated. It thin seems like things are really difficult right now. So why does modern life feel seem to produce so much anxiety now, even when most people are objectively safer and more comfortable, and I'd say probably more connected than ever.

Urgent Vs Important And Sacred Scheduling

SPEAKER_01 20:55

I think that's part of the problem. They're too connected. I mean, the truth is, think about it. You know, 30, 40 years ago, you're in your house, and the only exposure you had to the outside world was listening to the radio, maybe watching a few stations on TV and the morning newspaper. But today you could be sitting in your room and you're doom scrolling and you're getting all this information, and the algorithms are fe the algorithms are feeding your greatest fears because they know you like to watch that stuff. So it continues to penetrate into your mind. And we live in a world that wants us to feel anxious because the truth is that's the way they get rating ratings. That's the way they get our attention. And I think that you know, I always tell people, I say, better to read the profits than the papers. Because the papers diminish you, the profits uplift you. And I think we're living in a world where we may be more connected to, you know, in many ways, externally information, but there's less peace of mind because we actually are, you know, again, bombarded by so many oftentimes, you know, negative thoughts and thinking. We can combat that. And I think, you know, we need to take control. That's why the Sabbath for us, for example, you don't need to be Jewish, but for twenty five hours a week, beginning from Friday night till Saturday night, we disconnect. There's no there's no there's no news. Um it's a time not of human doing, it's a time of human being, you know, when I just Let go and I take stock of my life and I'm present with the people that are five feet in front of me, you know, who are my real people that I want to be connected with, not the people that I might be like friends with on Facebook or Instagram. And we all need that kind of timeout a little bit to tune into what's really important. So I do believe that we have the capacity to overcome that anxiety, but it does take some discipline to tune out a lot of the noise. And also, you said it before, to re-engage with human connection. You know, when I walk with somebody or I talk with somebody or I just look and am fully present with another individual, it calms me down. It gives me a sense of stability. Surround yourself with, I would say, also less anxious people. If I surround myself with people that are like really nervous and they're gossiping and they're always worried, you know, someone said, Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. Surround yourself with positive people, hopeful people, people that have peace of mind and a sense of, you know, just doing good in the world, and you'll feel better by surrounding yourself with those people too.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

Absolutely. Iron sharpens iron. And it's interesting. I'm going through the Bible right now, second time through in Genesis. And one thing I love is the Lord God is the most powerful, can do anything he wants in the entire world, you know, knows no bound. And he rests on the seventh day. And so I always try to kind of reflect on that to your point. Like I think everyone needs to rest. He rested and he had no need or requirement to rest. He rested as an example to say, hey, this is how you do walk the walk and you know, lead by example and took that day. Could have just kept pressing on. There's a reason he took the break and then wrote it in the Bible so that we all knew. And the social media thing, it's so interesting. Me, I saw something the other day where they were talking the person was putting incorrect information in the videos and typing and spelling things wrong on the captions intentionally, because it like, you know, irritates and activates people. So they go in the comments, they tell them he's wrong, it, you know, generates more stuff, then he gets more likes. So I'm like, we're like reinforcing bad information for the sake of likes and interactions, but that's how he gets paid. So he intentionally like does things that are incorrect. It's just crazy. That's the world that we live in now.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

Well, you know, again, that's where I mean, again, the forces. My father likes to say, he says, you know, we're not living in the leave it to beaver world anymore. You know what I'm saying? It's just a tougher time. But, you know, we have more of a responsibility now to put on that spiritual flak jacket to focus on like what's really significant so that we can, you know, again, transcend these challenges. Technology and all this stuff, by the way, isn't all bad. I mean, I'm able, as you are as well. Like we can stay more in touch, we can help more people, we can learn more. But it's about how do you take that technology so it doesn't actually dominate you, but how do you use it as a tool to continue to propel our lives to a more meaningful, meaningful way of living?

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Yeah, that's definitely true. It's tough. There is like the pros and cons being active duty military, like when we deploy, you know, when we used to have to send snail mail and you'd send a letter through the mail, and it would take two weeks to get there, and then you'd get another two weeks back. I mean, now you can FaceTime your kids, and obviously it's not the same as being in the room, but modern technology does have some really cool aspects where like you can read a bedtime story to your kids at night when you're thousands of miles apart, or like right now, you know, we're in completely two different countries and two different locations and still able to connect. So definitely some positive aspects, but uh, it is unfortunate like social media, we're only posting the highlights, we're only posting the good when we're all kind of struggling and going through different stuff. It'd be nice if we were able to capture our whole lives a little bit better than just the highlights. I think that makes it really difficult for people because like, oh, everyone's got it together when you know we don't, especially, you know, us being humans. It's just the way it is.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Yeah. No, it's true. But yeah, look, I think that, you know, I think about this too, which is there's a mystical idea that says the generation in which you're born is the generation in which God believes the world needs you. The best birthday gift I got once was somebody said, you know, the day you're born is when God believes he needs you. So we are born into this world with a lot of new uh technology, new ideas, but that means that God's saying you can do something in this world, you can make it better. And you know, one of the great mystics says you should see every day as if it's the day that you're reborn. And I think about that. Like it says in Genesis that how are we created? God breathes into humanity the breath of life. So when I take that breath in the morning, it's not only enough for me to say, I believe in God, which I do, and thank you, God, for bringing me life, but thank you, God, for believing in me. Because God believes there's something that I can contribute in the universe that is unique to any other soul in the universe. Because my spiritual footprint's going to be different, the people I meet, the talents that I have. And, you know, we can all accomplish something, you know, in our corner of the universe that will be the little bit of light that God wanted only us to reveal.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Absolutely. I know as I was growing up, I always kind of struggled being weird or different and whatnot. And I went through an academy at church last year, and we kind of went through spiritual gifts and things like that. But it wasn't until then it really dawned on me and like re-empowered me, I guess. Like I've always kind of been like okay with being different, but sometimes I struggled with imposter syndrome and things like that. But going through that, really like I was made exactly the way I was made to do whatever I was supposed to do. So weird, quirky, whatever, fill in the blank. Doesn't really matter. That's the way that I was designed. So get out there and try and help some people.

Goals, Legacy Academy, And Daily Practice

SPEAKER_01 28:06

Yeah. I mean, one of the most inspiring verses in the scripture is the very beginning of Jeremiah, where God talks to Jeremiah and says to him, you know, I got this task. You got to go speak to the Jewish people. And Jeremiah says, I can't do this. And God says, What are you talking about? He said, I know you before you knew you. I knew you in the womb. I knew you. And I programmed you exactly as you need to be. So if I'm sending you on this mission, trust me that you're not just a lad, you're a messenger for my word. And it's very powerful. God knows us sometimes better than we know ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

Absolutely. Last question in this section what's your advice or tips on people trying to control things they were never meant to control? Let go.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

I mean, you know, we oftentimes get challenged, certainly, by the notion that, you know, we try to fix things we can't control and we end up wasting a lot of time. You know, God says just pivot to the things that you can't control. One of the great mystics of the 20th century, Rabbi Isaac Cook, he said, do not lament the darkness, increase the light. Do not lament the darkness, increase the light. There are things that you can't change that happened in the past. Learn from them and just increase the light, move forward. And then trust God. It's like let go and let God. You know, sometimes we need to realize that we don't control everything, but we can control what we can control. And the more that we focus on those things that we do have agency for and don't focus on the things that we're just like, you know, you know, we we can't control, we're more productive. And, you know, I'm a firm believer that sometimes rejection is a new direction. That maybe God closes one door, but he's just pushing you in a different direction to open you up. And I found this. I remember when I was going out, I've been blessed to be married to a wonderful woman, my soulmate, since um got married about 35 years ago. And I remember I was going out with a woman and I felt like she was the one, not my wife. And I remember she said to me, like, it's just not working. And I remember going to the top of a building, not upstairs on the roof, but I just remember like just letting out this like nobody was, I just like was very upset. Oh my God, how can she do this? And about a month or two later, I met my wife and I realized, you know, God, thank you. Thank you for the woman telling me no, because God was sending me in a new direction for the woman that I was meant to marry.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

If only we knew the larger plan. It's always the good plan. We just don't know what it is. But that's part of life, though.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

But life is growth. I mean, I'm grateful actually that I don't know all the whole plan because then I don't there's no effort, there's no belief, there's no growth, you know? Yeah. I mean, it'd be terrifying.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

I don't think I'd want to know all the steps along the way. It's scary, but uh well, your last pillar is one act of courage a day. So can you help us define what does that mean to you? One act of courage a day.

From Anxiety To Agency

SPEAKER_01 31:04

So when I think of courage, you know, I don't necessarily think of going into the battlefield and like the enemy is facing me and stuff like that. I think of courage as I mean, I'll tell you one area that, you know, thank God I don't struggle with so much, but I do think about this and I write about this a lot in the book, which is in terms of like financial and ethics, you know, it's something I talk about a lot in my book. King Solomon says, better to have a good name than all the wealth in the world. Good name than all the wealth in the world. And to really make decisions when I talk about courage that are based on principle, not on pressure, not based on convenience, but conviction. Warren Buffett said it takes 30 years to build a reputation. It takes five minutes to destroy a reputation. So those small little acts that we do, you know, even if they're behind closed doors, we're either building our reputation or or not. So when I think of courage, I think of the the courage to do the right thing. But for me, you know, it's generally not in that area because thank God, like I'm not really in that arena where I'm tempted in that way. But I do think about it like when it comes to you know, let's say reaching out when I'm very busy or something, and I see somebody maybe needs a kind word, and I could say, you know what, I'm just gonna sit in my own world because I got so many things to do. Or do you ask yourself in that moment, not what do I want, but what is God asking for me in this moment? It goes back to what we said before, which is I don't believe that any encounter is random. And to open up our eyes, you know, it says one of the most pivotal scenes in the scripture is Moses at the burning bush. That's where God first appears to him. And again, Jewish tradition teaches us that there were a lot of people that saw the burning bush. What made Moses unique? If you look actually in the very beginning of Exodus, it says that God turned to Moses and called out his name when Moses turned to the bush and said, Why is this bush burning and not being consumed? And I once heard a rabbi say that if you walk by a bush that's burning, you'll notice it's burning. But the only one who's going to notice that it's burning and not being consumed is if you stop for 30 seconds. And it takes a lot of courage sometimes to put the phone away, to look up at the world around you and out of your phone glued like here and say, What does God want me to see? Because maybe there's somebody in my orbit that needs a little bit of my light. And I think that's one of the challenges that we have today. You know, to be courageous in a sense to say, you know, get out of my own world. Stop being so self-absorbed. Transcend yourself and try as much as you can to spread a little bit of light. So I think about that a lot. I'll give you one other point, which again is more in the realm of this is very courageous, but I think about this, which is we have a lot of pressure these days to do things maybe to, you know, be a little more undercover. Unfortunately, you know, as a Jew, there's rising anti-Semitism. There's, you know, people like, do I continue to be proud of Israel, of the Jewish people? And or things that I believe in for that matter. And there was a fellow actually who was a Portuguese diplomat who risked his job to really save a lot of people in the Holocaust. His name was Aristidis de Susemendez. And he was getting a lot of pressure from his family, like not to give these visas to help Jews escape. And he was struggling with it. And then he said the following words, which is important. He said, I would rather stand with God against man than man against God. I would rather stand with God against man than man against God. And at the end of the day, we have to do what's right, not just what's convenient. And you know, I go back to a great sage and then I'll let you comment, Albert Dumbledore from Harry Potter. Remember that wise man? Yeah. Yeah. He said to Harry Potter, he said, It is our choices, Harry, that determine who we really are, not our abilities. What makes us great people is not the fact that I'm skilled at something, but it's the kind of person that I am. What are the choices that I make? Are they choices that are good choices, ethical choices, honest choices, kind choices? And then we have those opportunities every day. And hopefully we can develop the moral fortitude to exercise our muscle to make the courageous, right principle choices every day.

SPEAKER_00 35:31

Yeah, absolutely. I think it's one thing where, you know, initially you want things, I think we want things to be easy. But then if you look back at incidences, like you remember the difficult times and you overcame something. Like if everything came easy, I think you just wouldn't cherish it. You wouldn't value it as much. If you, you know, like I worked for my first car and raise money and whatnot. Like if you're given the car, you're like, oh, okay, cool. And then you crash it or whatever, and you don't really care. There's something about difficult, like, not that it's easy, it's obviously not easy, but it's worth more. It's more valuable to try to push through some of those things. Cause I often like, yeah, I'd like to be, you know, easier and blend in and things like that. But like you said, I'd rather be on the side of God. So what I believe is right, keep pushing on. And, you know, the all all powerful, I think that's probably the better option. But I think we ultimately know it's the right thing. I'm curious, like with courage, one thing I think we get hung up a lot is fear, your fear of the unknown, your fear of stepping out. Um, do you have any advice on like how that plays or how to overcome or how to process the fear in the way of courage?

SPEAKER_01 36:40

Yeah, look, I think part of it is also just knowing that if you're doing the right thing, you know, God is by your side. Like I don't think of myself like as being walking alone. You know, it's interesting. I go back to scriptures a lot because I study it, but you know, when God sends Moses into Pharaoh to say, let my people go, God doesn't just say, you go, I'll stay back here. God says to Pharaoh, he says, Come with me. When you're in the palace, when you're in the halls of power, when you are speaking to the most powerful person in the universe, I got it, Moses. I am more powerful than any Pharaoh that's out there. You be my messenger. So when we're asked to do something courageous, if we're doing it for the right reasons, have the faith to know that there is a power beyond anything that we could ever imagine that will help us. I think about, you know, the splitting of the Red Sea. You know, the Jewish people are at the water and the Egyptians are behind them and the water is in front of them, and they're looking at each other. Who goes in first? Who's gonna walk into the sea? And then one man said, You know what? I got the faith. He walks in the water, and sometimes God says, just walk in the water and I'll split the sea for you. That's it. Just walk in the water, just take that leap and I'll be there because you're doing the right thing. And look, that's why I also think it's really important to fortify your faith every day. Don't wait for the moments when you got to cross the sea to start thinking about God being by your side. I'm a big believer going back to gratitude. You know, making blessings, being grateful for everything every day. We as in our faith, there's a blessing. I don't know if you knew this, Nate. There's a blessing we make after you go out of the bathroom. Did you know that? No. Well, I once had a kidney stone. I once had a kidney stone. And when a person has a kidney stone and there's a little thing, ooh, it hurts tremendously. And then when the kidney stone passes, I can tell by the look on your face, it's not pretty. When the kidney stone passes, aren't you grateful that you can go to the bathroom okay? So Judaism says, live life with radical amazement. There's a blessing I make whenever I leave the bathroom that says, Thank you, God, that what's open is open and what's closed is closed, and everything is working properly. And you don't have to be Jewish to say the blessing. And what does that do? That reminds me that God's on my side every day. So now I've built a tank full of God presence. So the moment, maybe when I got a leap, I'm not looking where God is. I know God's right there. So the more that we can fortify our faith, the more that we'll have the faith in the moments of maybe God's saying, go the extra mile to know that God is jumping along with us.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

I've thought of that multiple times too. And it's funny how you never reflect or like realize what you have until it's gone, right? Like one thing that comes up quite a bit for me, I don't get sick that often. And so I don't really think about it, but breathing when both of your nostrils work and I can like lay down, sleep, and like breath will actually come through my nose, it's amazing. But in those like short times where you're, you know, stuffed up and you can't breathe, and it's like it's so inconvenient. So something that's so kind of you know underrated and kind of silly, like the actual act of breathing is awesome when it actually works the way it's supposed to. And I like how you mentioned like working on it as it goes, because that's a reminder, like I will never stop foot stomping in the show because I feel like we do it so well in the physical domain. And then for some reason we get into mental and spiritual, and it's like, well, you know, I'll go on Christmas and Easter and I'll go to mental health only when it's like the worst day of my life. And it's like, I don't understand how we got to this when you run three to four times a week on the treadmill because you know you need to maintain cardio. You would never go and do the treadmill once. You're like, I'm good, never doing that again. So it's like bizarre that we do it in one aspect and let's continue to offload and process things as they occur instead of waiting.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

Yeah, no, 100%. Like we have to care for our souls, our mental health, and at the same discipline that we give our bodies for sure.

SPEAKER_00 40:42

Absolutely. Well, you had three wonderful pillars today. Let's try to bring them all together. If someone feels overwhelmed by anxiety, uncertain about the future, and unsure where to start, what is the single next step that brings them back into agency, courage, and meaning?

SPEAKER_01 41:00

A moment of gratitude and a moment of kindness. Moment of gratitude and a moment of kindness. Appreciate that you're here for a purpose, be grateful, and then say, How am I going to take the gift of life and make somebody else's day? I find that is probably the quickest way to jumpstart your life.

Designed For This Moment

SPEAKER_00 41:18

That's amazing. Yeah, one thing I saw, I think it was Benjamin Franklin, he had a journal and it listed all the hours of the day. But to start the journal, every day it said, What good shall I do today? And then at the end, after all the hours, it said, What good did I do? So he would try to propose to try to knock something out and help someone and do some good. And then he reflected every day. He'd schedule all the events, and at the end, did I did I do that good? And then he'd roll on to the next day. So I think that's an amazing reminder. Well, Rabbi Cohen, thanks for the wisdom, the honesty, and the grounded perspective. Before we wrap up today, where can listeners connect with you and continue learning from your work? Sure.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

Best thing to do is go on my website, which is www.rabbiDanielcohen.com. Rabbi Daniel Cohen.com, there's a lot of videos, information about Legacy Academy, and feel free to reach out to me. We'd love to hear from everyone.

SPEAKER_00 42:11

Awesome. To everyone listening, the future isn't built all at once. Take those small steps. It's built one intentional day at a time. I love you all. See ya.