The Fearless Warrior Podcast

062: Three Ways You've Been Giving Your Power Away and How to Get it Back with Coach AB

• Amanda Schaefer

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Today's episode is a recording of a recent keynote presentation Coach AB gave for a career day at Milford High School in Nebraska. In it, she explores ways that all people, athletes and non-athletes alike may be giving away their power and how to reclaim it. She shares stories of her own journey to founding Fearless Fastpitch as well as inspiring stories of others who have persevered through challenges to make a difference in the world.

Episode Highlights:

  • How to identify who you are giving your power away to
  • What Tom Braden, Michael Jordan, Play-doh and Sticky Notes teach us about standing in our power.
  • How to reclaim your power
  • How to use joy to guide your life

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the fearless warrior podcast, a place for athletes, coaches and parents who know the value of a strong mindset. I'm your host, coach AB, a mental performance coach on a mission, former softball coach, wife and mom of three. Each episode, we will dive deep into all things mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success. So if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success, so if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, you're in the right place. Let's tune in to today's episode.

Speaker 2:

Okay, we're going to go ahead and get started today with our first speaker. So, today I'm very thrilled to announce Amanda Schaefer, a formal college pitcher and the founder of Fearless Fast Pitch. Amanda's journey through high school and college softball has been nothing short of transformative. Faced with the pressures of competition and the unpredictable nature of athletic life, she discovered the crucial role mental skills play in achieving success. Driven by her experiences, Amanda is on a mission to empower young adults, teaching them how to cultivate confidence and resilience on and off the field. Her message.

Speaker 2:

Stand in your Power encourages students to embrace their strengths and overcome challenges with courage and determination. Please join me in warmly welcoming Amanda.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, hannah. That was awesome. I have gotten a chance to meet a few of you via my normal role, which is a mental performance coach, which is a really fancy way of saying. I help athletes on the mental side of the game and normally if you forgive me I'm normally behind a Zoom screen, so 90% of the work that I do is behind a computer. So standing up here today, I'm facing a little bit of my fears. I love to speak, but I have some really cool stories for you today and this is going to be a little bit different.

Speaker 1:

So raise your hand. If you have worked with me via your sports team, raise them up high so I have a fun little activity, because you guys have already been sitting in classrooms today. Yeah, should we shake things up a little bit. I need two coach volunteers. Have they been reselected? Please come forward. I love it. Okay, teacher volunteers I love it. Okay, teacher volunteers.

Speaker 1:

Stand in the middle and what do you think they're going to be doing? They're judging. So in order for them to judge, I need some contestants. So here are the two teams I'm going to have compete because I hear that they're still in their seasons. Who's still in their seasons? They're amazing. Hello, volleyball team. I need 10 people. Volleyball. The whole team. The thing is, we just have to make the numbers even. So I need the volleyball team to stand up.

Speaker 4:

Let's go volleyball. Woo Come to the front Voll to stand up. Woo Come to the front Volleyball Surprise. And then the second team that's still playing right now is football. Can I get the football team? All right? Volleyball has chosen team south. Is that south?

Speaker 1:

Team south, Alright, and Team North Football team. You guys are Team North. What I need you to do is to form a line. Form a line. Your line is actually going to start next to your judge 15.

Speaker 4:

You guys have 15 in your line. You guys ready, don't let me down. 14.

Speaker 1:

Okay, you guys are going to line up in a line, so make your line straight. See if you can get it faster. Let's practice. All right, you guys need to form a straight line and face your audience, your audience. So do we have 14? And 14? Is it 14 or is it 15? 15.

Speaker 1:

All right so we have 15 and 15. You guys can just pop a squat and cheer on your teammates, and because now we have two teams, today I'm going to be talking to you about how to stand in your power, and so, in order to demonstrate that, I thought it would be really fun to do an icebreaker called power lines. There we go, and so sometimes the ripple effect in 30 seconds I'm going to have you guys do this activity, but we need a little bit of encouragement. So I'm actually going to split the room into North Team North. Can you just give me a little lean?

Speaker 4:

Choose your team.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, love it. And Team South? All right, Team North is here, team South is here and we're actually competing, and what we're going to do is we're actually going to start on the opposite end and in order to create these power poles, you guys are all teammates I need you guys to create a power line In order to do that you're going to hold hands Volleyball team.

Speaker 1:

You're going to hold hands. And then your power poles. What is your name on the end? Tice, you are the power pole and your judge is Sandra. You guys are the power poles and your team is the power line. So connect with your judge.

Speaker 4:

You're going to hold hands, maggie.

Speaker 1:

So Maddie is a power pole and we have Mrs Copley is a power pole. Can you guys give him a round of applause? What we're going to do is they're going to squeeze, raise your hand. If you're in drama, have you guys done power squeezes before? Yeah, we're sending the energy. And so, my goodness, tell me your name again. Tice, tice. You are going to squeeze your hand and the next teammate is going to squeeze his hand and you're going to send squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze Do not squeeze prematurely and you're going to send your power to your judge. As soon as your judge feels that power, they're going to raise their flag. Same over here, who wins the first team to get their power produced to their judge. Okay, so now here's the cool thing. You guys are going to be cheering. We're gonna also be creating you guys are also creating energy and power in the room.

Speaker 1:

so let's practice, let's teach your team, let's cheer for Team North, team South. How this is going to go is I'm going to go 3, 2, 1, and the people on the end, my power poles, are going to send that energy and we're going to get a winner. Are we ready? As soon as I say go, you can start cheering.

Speaker 4:

Ready Three, two, one go All right Team Norwich.

Speaker 1:

you want to round two Round two.

Speaker 4:

All right, you guys ready. Three, two, one go. Oh judges, which one was that? North? Who thinks it was North? Who thinks it was South?

Speaker 1:

Oh, that was kind of convincing.

Speaker 4:

Alright, should we do a tiebreaker? Okay, tiebreaker, no cheating. You guys are getting really good at this. Three, two, one go. Oh, what happened.

Speaker 1:

What happened? Did we get a brace and a squeeze? Did you guys see that? Yeah, so what happens? And I didn't plan this, I promise I didn't plan this what would happen if I told what's your name Garrett, please step forward. Oh, what would happen to their power line? It could reform, but let's say that there's a break in the power line, and what I'm going to talk to you today is that the people around you, the situations you're up against and the people who are the decision makers in your life this power is constantly transferring energy. You guys also produce power in the audience, so give yourselves a round of applause.

Speaker 4:

Give me one clap, give me two claps, give me seven claps.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, I'm impressed. So today, to give you a little background on why I do what I do, I really truly believe that, no matter what situation you find yourself in, a lot of you guys are athletes. I'm not just speaking to the athletes today, I'm speaking to all of you. Today's career day right. How did the first sessions go? Good?

Speaker 2:

Some of you might be feeling a little nervous.

Speaker 1:

It's career day, I have to figure out what I'm doing and life is going to ebb and flow. And what better story than to tell you about the farmer and the horse? Has anyone heard this story? There was a village and this farmer had a workhorse and this workhorse was his sole income. And the villagers would come to him and they would say oh farmer, how lucky are you to have this horse? And he said good luck, bad luck, maybe we'll see the next day. His horse ran away and the villagers said what horrible luck. Your horse ran away, whatever will you do. And he said Bad luck, good luck, maybe We'll see. The next day the horse came back with ten more wild horses. And what did the villagers say? Wonderful luck, how lucky are you that now you have ten more workhorses? How are you so lucky? He said good luck bad luck.

Speaker 4:

maybe We'll see.

Speaker 1:

The next day, his son decided that he was going to try to break one of these wild horses, and instead he ended up falling off and breaking his leg. And what did the villager say? He ended up falling off and breaking his leg. And what did the villager say? What horrible luck. What bad fortune your son has broken his leg. You should have never gotten those wild horses, you should have never hopped on that horse. And what did the farmer say? Bad luck, good luck.

Speaker 4:

Maybe We'll see.

Speaker 1:

The next day, the army came into town recruiting young soldiers for war and the villager said your son's life has been spared. What wonderful luck. He doesn't have to go to war because he couldn't be recruited because your son's leg was broken. What wonderful luck. And what did the farmer say? Good luck, bad luck, maybe because your son's leg was broken. What wonderful luck. And what did the farmer say? Good luck, bad luck. Maybe We'll see. And the reason that I tell this story is that how many times in life do things happen to us that we put labels on? This is amazing, this is bad, this is good luck, this is bad luck. This is amazing. This is bad, this is good luck, this is bad luck. This is horrible. This is amazing. And the message is if you wait to find out, sometimes your biggest setbacks, your biggest disappointments, your biggest trials in life end up being your biggest blessings. Who's experienced that so far in your life that maybe something that didn't work out ended up being the best thing for you?

Speaker 4:

And I get.

Speaker 1:

Most of you are young I was in your shoes once too and there are things that happen that feel like it's the end of the line. It's the end of the line. It's the end of the world, and I'm going to tell you stories today to give you examples of how to get your power back. But before I show you how to stand in your power, I'm actually going to teach you three ways that you've actually been giving your power away. They're seeking the first one other people.

Speaker 1:

How many of you feel like other people's opinions, their decisions, their criticism, their comments? You find yourself comparing yourself to others, other people's actions or their lack of actions? How many of you find yourself falling into the trap of worrying about what other people think of you? Don't be shy, we all do. Look around the room, raise those hands up. You big liars. We do this because we are human. It's natural we all have negative thoughts. Did you know that the brain actually has what is called a negativity bias that is seven times stronger than your positive thoughts? It's the brain's job to keep you alive. It's supposed to spot threats. So it's easy when we see other people successful. And and what do we do? We look to the bad, we look to the criticism, we listen to those other voices in our lives, and that's where we're giving our power away. Remember.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to teach you how to get your power back, but not one person has the power to control your thoughts unless you let them.

Speaker 1:

Don't give them that power over you. And sometimes it's not the mean girl or the mean guy, or the mean comment or the competitor or the person that you're neck and neck with that speaks the loudest. Sometimes it's our own friends, sometimes it's our own parents, and sometimes it's the people that are closest to us that maybe say ah, that dream's a little too big, let's play it safe. A, b, are you sure you don't want to go back to a nine to five? It feels a little risky. Yeah, I'm sure it's not always the people in your life that you expect, but when you realize it, who's the only person that has control over your own thoughts? You? Who is this? Who is this? Thank you, the goat. He is the goat. He's one of the most decorated NFL quarterbacks of all time. How many Super Bowl rings does he have? Oh, you guys are good Seven. But here are some stats you might not know, and I'm going to read some of these because I don't want to get them wrong. Tom Brady was seventh on the depth chart when he arrived at Michigan football. After his second year at Michigan. He wanted to transfer. Did you guys know that? He wasn't playing in games and he was so low on the depth chart that he only got two reps?

Speaker 1:

At practice, brady met his coach to express his frustration. The other quarterbacks are getting all the reps. And what do you think? His coach said Brady, I want you to stop worrying about what all the other players on our team are doing. All you worry about is what the starter is doing and what the second guy is doing, what everyone else is doing. You don't worry about what you're doing. Coach reminded him you came here to be the best about what you're doing. Coach reminded him you came here to be the best. If you're going to be the best, you have to beat out the best. Who's been told that before? He recommended that brady started meeting with greg harden, who is a sports psychologist at michigan, and brady went to harden's office. And what do you think? He said I'm not getting reps. I'm never going to get my chance. They they're only giving me two reps. And Harden simply replied just go out there and focus on doing the best you can with those two reps. Make them as perfect as you possibly can. So that's what I did. Brady said they put me in for those two reps. Man, I'd sprint out there like it was Super Bowl 39. Let's go, boys, here we go. What play we got? And I started to do really well with those two reps because I brought enthusiasm and I brought energy. Soon it went from getting two reps to getting four reps, then four to 10. And before you knew it, brady said, with this new mindset that Greg instilled in me, to focus on what you can control, to focus on what you're getting, not what anyone else is getting, to treat every rep like it's the Super Bowl. Eventually I became the starter and eventually he made it to the NFL.

Speaker 1:

What round did he go in the NFL draft? First Nope. Second Nope. Third Nope, second Nope, third Nope. Fourth Nope. Fifth, nope, sixth. Yes, he went in the sixth. He was the 199th pick in the 2000 draft and what he told Bill Belichick was you will not regret picking me. He had that mindset, regardless of what everyone else said word for word. I want you to google this. Here's what they said in his scouting report poor build, skinny.

Speaker 1:

Lacks great physical stature and strength. Lacks mobility and ability to avoid the rush, lacks a really strong arm. Can't drive the ball downfield, does not throw a really tight spiral system type player who can get exposed if forced to ad-lib, gets knocked down easily. Are we talking about the same guy? He would not be where he is today if he would have let other people have power over him and his future and if he would have listened. Tom Brady would have ended his career likely at Michigan, but he kept going and proving everyone wrong. Who's that Michael Jordan? But he kept going and proving everyone wrong. Who's that Michael Jordan? Another Go. Do you guys know about Michael Jordan? He was cut from his varsity basketball team his sophomore year. What did his mom tell him? Work harder, one of his most famous lines.

Speaker 1:

I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've been trusted. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. Here's another great one. My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength. So not only did Michael Jordan not listen to the hangers, he used it as fuel. Two really, really great examples that you guys can start to see that some of the greatest people didn't achieve success because they listened to what other people said about them. They listened to what other people said about them, they listened to themselves, and so, remember, I said I was actually going to teach you. Okay, great. Now we know that we tend to give our power away to other people, but how do we get it back? This is a sticky note, that lives on my desk.

Speaker 1:

It actually has popped up on my computer. It's a little crinkly. One of my mentors gave me this and too often in life it's sneaky to give our power away. It's our subconscious and sometimes we go about our day, and this is my little check-in to you, and it's a check-in that I use almost daily. Where or who am I giving my power away? It's a really powerful check-in with yourselves because it forces you to take ownership yourself. That's a question only you can answer, and sometimes we give our power away to other people's comments and simply doing a quick check-in with yourselves, you'll know immediately yeah, I've been giving my power away to that mean comment, to that game I lost, to that tweet that got viral when I airballed that shot, or that test that I failed. And at the end of this, I'm going to encourage you to choose a sticky note and write this same message. And anytime you find yourself in a tough situation, where am I giving my power away? The second place that we give our power away your current situation. Lack of time, lack of resources, a depth chart, a test, a grade.

Speaker 1:

How many of you have seen this graphic? It's a good one. It's powerful because it's true and success is rarely a straight line. Think about your life to this point. Did you get here because it was easy and a straight shot, never faced a setback or adversity? Heck, no, and it'll continue to be that second image. So I want to share a story about Noah McVicker. He worked for a soap company called Kudal in the 1930s. The company's primary product was a soft pliable compound used for wiping soot from wallpaper, which helped make Kudal be the largest wallpaper cleaner manufacturer in the world. But what started to happen is, as homes were no longer heated with coal and wallpaper became obsolete, there was no longer a need for this wall cleaner putty. The company's future seemed bleak, but they had gotten word that teachers were using this in their classrooms because they found traditional modeling clay was very hard for children to manipulate and mold. And had Mr McVicker been frustrated? That's not how we use our product.

Speaker 1:

We're going out of business and now people are using our product not how it was intended. But instead, you know what he did. He shipped out his product to more school teachers and said hey, other teachers are doing this with their product. Give it a go. What do you think this product is today? Any guesses Play-Doh. How do those two things ever equal? But because he leaned into his situation with curiosity instead of judgment and frustration. Now, not only is Play-Doh sold around the world, there are kits of Play-Doh, there are partnerships, it'sdoh, there are partnerships. It's Hasbro, it's Mattel, it's all of these. It's connected with Barbie and pizza machines.

Speaker 1:

How many of you guys had a Play-Doh set when you were little? It's iconic. Do you know how many cans of Play-Doh have sold since its invention? Three billion With a B. Do you think he realized that when he was in this current situation, thinking that his company, his family company that was massively successful, was about to go under? Do you think he ever even imagined what it could become? No, but what did he do? He kept standing in his power, regardless of his situation, and one of the things that we teach in mental performance is what is the next best step. You don't get from point A to point B. Like that it's really point A to Z and there's 26 letters in the alphabet.

Speaker 1:

And so if you feel like you're not getting as fast as you want to go. Why am I not getting the opportunity? Break it down into smaller steps. Remember, charlie Smith said here is on the way there. This is Dr Silver, and he was trying to invent a super strong adhesive, but he actually ended up inventing a weak one instead. It was a low-tack adhesive that would stick to things but it could be repositioned multiple times. And for five years Dr Silver promoted this solution without a problem. He knew it could be useful, he just didn't know how. A problem. He knew it could be useful, he just didn't know how.

Speaker 1:

Enter Art Fry he attended one of Dr Silver's lectures and was intrigued by his invention. And Dr Silver could have said no, this is my invention, butt out buddy. But he invited him in. He said I've been searching high and low for five years. I know this can be an amazing product, just don't know how. Do you guys know what invention it is? Post-it notes, sticky notes. It happened because Arthur Fry was using bookmarks In his hymnal when he was playing music and every time he flipped to a new song his bookmark would fall out and then it clicked. Ah, dr Silver's Adhesin could work perfect, but it wasn't a massive success. It didn't instantly turn into Post-it notes. They actually originally branded it as Press and Peel. Nobody's ever heard of Press and Peel. We know it as Post-it notes and what they found is when they marketed it as press and peel people didn't know how to use it.

Speaker 1:

I'm just supposed to press and peel this thing and as soon as they re-branded it to post-it notes, what they found is people started sending notes and messages to coworkers. I guarantee you that you guys are going to go back to these classrooms and you're going to see sticky notes and reminders to ourselves.

Speaker 1:

Your teachers probably have sticky notes in their classroom and in their drawers and had Dr Silver not let Dr Fry in on his current situation, we probably wouldn't have post-it notes, and so the idea of this is that, had they given away their power to their current situation, they would have given up. Do you see a theme here? There was something there, and I'm just going to take the next best step. So think about the things that you are giving your power away to in your current situation. How many of you have been cramming for a test at midnight and thinking I just don't have enough time.

Speaker 1:

If I could just have more time anybody how many of you guys have thought to yourself, if I just had more resources if I just lived in.

Speaker 1:

Lincoln or Omaha, all those other people have access to bigger cities and more amenities and better resources. If I just had more resources, or if you find yourself at home wishing you had a better computer or faster internet or a bigger basketball hoop, whatever you find yourself in, where are you giving your power away in your situation? How do you get it back? Where is my power in this? You guys all know some of the greatest inventors, some of the most prolific celebrities and athletes. Baseball players in the Dominican Republic would use cardboard for baseball gloves.

Speaker 1:

I can't remember who it was. Maybe it was Michael Jordan actually used a milk crate for a basketball. And so what if you stopped letting your circumstances control your power, again asking yourself where is my power in this? If I can't control this situation, what can I control? And that's where the magic happens.

Speaker 1:

I already quoted this prematurely, but one of my good, dear friends is a mess performance coach and he says a, b, here is on the way there, here's on the way there. So when you're in the B's, the C's, the D's of life here is on the way there, here's on the way there. So when you're in the b's, the c's, the d's of life here is on the way there. Life is never about what happens to me, but the meaning I give it and the final piece, where we give our power away, is ourselves. This is a sneaky one. Look in the mirror. Our own beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of will stop us far more than one and two.

Speaker 1:

In high school I was competitive. I was a good test taker, but it was just because I was competitive. I felt like I had to get good grades because of my parents and I chased and chased that 4.0, that ranking and you guys are all aware of this because you're in a small school district, so you're hyper aware of where you fall and my valedictorian and my sixth and my tenth. Where do I fall on that ranking? We?

Speaker 1:

think about this all the time and I had teachers come up and tell me and they didn't know me better you have a 4.0. You're going to be an amazing doctor or you could be a lawyer. So I believed them. I thought, well, that's my identity. I'm going to go to school to be a doctor, pre-med.

Speaker 1:

So that's what I did. I applied for scholarships. I looked at programs and I also thought that everybody 99% of my fellow peers were all going to go to college. I also thought I play softball. Why wouldn't I play softball in college? I had no idea that I had so much more to offer than my identity as a student and a softball player.

Speaker 1:

Your identity is never defined by your grades. Your power lies within you, and so, if you just reflect quickly, what is that little voice in your brain that tells you your identity is? Whether it's 4.0, 3.0, 2.0, you fail a test, you're not a good test taker. What meaning are you giving that grade over you? How many of you guys stress about grades? How many of you guys compare your grades to others and we wonder am I falling behind? Am I doing enough?

Speaker 1:

Let me tell you about my experience as a pre-med major, because that's what I thought my identity was. Here's what we think chemistry is. Got my little chem kit, get to do some explosions, mix the titrate. It's fun. What is chemistry really? Math, lots and lots of math, which wasn't my favorite. To this day. I don't manage my own finances. I hire a CPA for that. I'm not a good mathematician, and so eventually in college, I went to Concordia. By the way, I find myself asking why was I doing this? And for the first time in my life, I started to question is this really what I wanted to do with the rest of my life?

Speaker 1:

We went on a job shadow to St Elizabeth's, and if I give you one piece of advice, it's to job shadow as much and as often as you can, which, by the way, is really cool, because today is literally that.

Speaker 1:

It's a bunch of mini job shadows. So we went to St E's and I had a classmate I'm gonna change her name for her sake Jenny and I we're touring Sainese and they took us through the lab and I'm thinking at the time, I'm thinking I could do this Rows and rows of microscopes and test tubes full of blood and I look over at.

Speaker 1:

Jenny and I'm so excited. I'm thinking, yeah, I could do this. And there's a desk behind us and a filing cabinet and I see Jenny starting to lean on the file cabinet. And before. I could say Jenny are you up.

Speaker 1:

She passed out. She could not handle the sight of blood. Do you think she stayed a pre-med major? No, she did not. And that was the moment where I realized this lab, it doesn't have windows. I don't know if I want to be hunched over looking at a microscope. It seemed cool and, having that conversation with Jenny, we got back to the dorms that night. She had an awesome welt on her head. We laugh about it today and we had that realization of what other majors are available, and so I printed off the list for a business major and it never occurred to me to look at other class lists.

Speaker 1:

We were just told take your gen eds. You're going to pre-med, you have to get a 4.0. You have to continue that 4.0 trend. I was a 4.0 pre-med student and then I looked at the class list for business it's like broadcasting, marketing, entrepreneurship and with each line I looked at that class list and the little voice inside my head said, eh, can it really be that easy? These look fun. Is it allowed to be fun? Yeah, and so I switched and guess what? My first C.

Speaker 1:

Not only did I get a B, I got lower. My first C ever was economics and I was happy about it. I was free. I had realized that I no longer had to let my grades which, by the way, I should probably pause on this. I'm not telling you to get bad grades, but it is freeing once you release that identity. You can release that identity and still get good grades. But it was that moment in time when I switched my major and realized it really can't be that easy and there's a different path. And there's a different path. If you would show me these statistics. When I was a senior in high school, I thought that 99% of us everybody was going to a four-year college.

Speaker 1:

I was gonna be a failure if I decided to be an entrepreneur, or if I decided to go to a different school. My sister went to SCC with a whole heck of a lot less debt and she got her associate's degree never occurred to me that that was an option. These are statistics from 2019. And it reminds me of the game of life. Who's played the game of life? Yeah, I hate this game. Why? Because in the beginning, they give you two options. What?

Speaker 1:

are the two options College or go to work. Society will constantly bombard you with messages of what you should and shouldn't do and what the path looks like and what happens once you choose your one of two paths. What happens to the path? How many paths are there? It merges into one path.

Speaker 1:

And by the way, that little car thing when you decide like, oh, I want a boy and I want a girl. That's not real life. There's not just one path, there is an infinite number of paths. This is a lie. But the really cool thing is I think you already know that because you're at Milford. And what is your story? Everybody has their own story. Make it a good one. Do we all have the same story? And the cool thing is I'm up here telling you a message that you've heard hundreds of times already. So what about the other 34%? What's your path? Now, again, I'm not telling you that you can't go to a college by all means. There are plenty of degrees out there. Like my husband who went into architecture, his degree does help him move further in those careers. Certain careers are going to require you to go to college, and that's great. But what I want you to realize is, if you stop looking at other people's paths, you can start to forge your own path, and that's my encouragement for you. I wish I would have known this sooner.

Speaker 1:

This is me at Concordia at 1031 Coffee. I thought it was just a job, just a little something extra to make a little extra money. And lo and behold, because I was competitive and I found out that I was really good at this and I really enjoyed it. I became the manager of this coffee shop. But here's what's really cool about this opportunity the coffee shop at Concordia is 100% student-led, and I'll never forget this.

Speaker 1:

One of my classes was human resources. They teach you in human resources class how to hire and how to fire, but the really cool thing was I didn't have to read about it in the textbook. I was already hiring and firing my peers. I had done it, I had lived it. And how much more powerful is that when you can get your hands on an experience? And so what if I would have leaned in, to my joy, as my guide? I was good at it, it, I enjoyed it and I got paid to do it. Pretty cool, and so my first job out of college. I got hired by a company called are you nuts company now student tea and coffee. You know my job was I had to take coffee and tea samples nationwide. I can't believe my bosses let me do this. But because I had finally clicked and realized I could decide, I could make my own path, that there is flexibility within the paths that you are given.

Speaker 1:

Monday through Thursday, I would travel the country load up my SUV with all of these boxes of coffee and tea and I would get to go to grocery stores and hand out samples of tea and coffee.

Speaker 1:

Now, old me, 4.0, you should go to pre-med. What do you think my teachers would have thought of that? First job, ab. Is this the same AB? Now her job she's like a demo girl. She's handing out coffee samples in grocery stores. Surely's not a successful career, but the cool thing is is that I got to work in sales. So not only did I get to create the product, sell the product, talk to store managers, create a semi. It's like entrepreneurship. And on Friday, after I busted my butt Monday through Thursday, I got to hit the ski slopes. So I tell you these stories because if we stop letting other people dictate where our power is, you can start to paint these really cool experiences within the confines of your job description, within the confines of your degree.

Speaker 1:

But really, what if we started to use joy as our benchmark, as our guide? So I want you to reflect. I didn't play doctor when I was little. I was selling lemonade. I was selling friendship bracelets at my aunt's farmer's market booth. I loved trading cards, pokemon, pokemon and things still. Yes, we would like sell Pokemon cards on the bus. I was like hustling my friends. I was finding ways to make money, even at a young age. One of the first books that I got from the library I remember handing this to my dad and it was a book by Dale Carnegie how to Win Friends and Influence People. And my dad looked at me and goes this fourth grader my own daughter is checking out of the school book fair with a self-help book.

Speaker 1:

This is odd, and guess what I get to do today? I get to help other people. Had I reflected on this and leaned into what I was good at, then maybe I would have been on this path a lot sooner. But again, here is on the way there. Here is on the way there. So what I want you to do is I want you to reflect truly today, as you're listening to some of these speakers, as you're starting to think about what do I want to do with the rest of my life? Speakers, as you're starting to think about what do I want to do with the rest of my life? Which, by the way? Does anyone know what these shoes are? Sneaks. Sarah Blakely is one of my all-time fangirl entrepreneurs. Do you know what Sarah Blakely actually invented? First, spanx, come on, have you guys heard of Spanx? Where?

Speaker 1:

are my girls in the room, sarah Blakely invented Spanx, and she didn't rest on that journey.

Speaker 1:

She also wanted to find a way to make heels a little bit jazzy and more comfortable. They're sneaker heels. Now some of you may look at them and go I didn't buy these shoes because I thought they looked cool. I bought them because I cannot wait to meet Sarah Blakely one day and say you inspired me. I will literally cry my eyes out when I get to meet her in person, but she's constantly talking about what did you love to do when you were little? And she followed that passion.

Speaker 1:

And you don't have to be the next inventor of sneaks or Spanx or Play-Doh, but I do want you to start to ask what if you lean into your strengths more than your weaknesses? We try so hard to fix our weaknesses, but what if we chose to pursue what is easy, based on our strengths? What if? Stand in your power? Think about this strengths. What if? Stand in your power? Think about this how do I stand in my power? And just to recap the three ways that we give our power away Other people, where am I giving my power away? Our situations, where is my power in this? And yourselves, stand in your power, and I truly believe when you stand in your power, you will experience more joy more freedom and you become more powerful in all that you do, no matter what you do.

Speaker 1:

Thank you.

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Amanda Schaefer

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