The Fearless Warrior Podcast

082: How Megan Faraimo Used Self-Talk to Propel Her Softball Career

• Amanda Schaefer

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Megan Faraimo, a professional softball pitcher for the Toyota Red Terriers in Japan and Team USA silver medalist, shared her journey with our Warriors in our October 2024 Mentorship Call. She provides powerful insights into how mental skills have shaped her successful career despite facing continued challenges at every level.

Episode Highlights:

• Uses reframing as her primary mental skill
• Visualizes her potential as "being the best" by using mental imagery 
• Values discipline and monotonous work
• Self-belief and confidence were key factors leading her to the pros
• Playing multiple sports growing up developed a diverse learning experience


Connect with Meg:

Instagram: @8megank

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the fearless warrior podcast, a place for athletes, coaches and parents who know the value of a strong mindset. I'm your host, coach AB, a mental performance coach on a mission, former softball coach, wife and mom of three. Each episode, we will dive deep into all things mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success. So if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, mindset tools and how to rewire the brain for success, so if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, you're in the right place. Let's tune in to today's episode.

Speaker 2:

Good evening. Welcome everybody to our live guest speaker event. We're so lucky to have Meg Ferramo here joining us and we've got an international Zoom call going on tonight. She's 13 hours ahead of us, so it's like just past 9 am over there in Japan. So she's in Japan. She's playing professionally right now. We're really, really grateful that she took this time out of her busy schedule to come to talk to us tonight or for this morning for her.

Speaker 2:

But Meg is originally from San Diego. She played her college ball at UCLA until 2023, and she was a three-time All-American pitcher. She just finished her second year of Athletes Unlimited this summer in 2023. Her first year she was Rookie of the Year for Athletes Unlimited. So you know she's got it. Right now she is playing for the Toyota Red Terriers over there in Japan and she also played with Team USA and they got the silver medal over at the Softball World Cup. So Meg is an all-star. We've got her here in the house to talk to you guys and we want to welcome her. Meg, I'll turn it over to you to introduce yourself.

Speaker 3:

Sure, thank you. I'm so excited to be on this call and to be able to share my story a little bit. I think the only thing I would add to that bio to relate to everyone that's in travel ball right now is that I played on the current angels and I'm very proud of that. I'm proud of my roots and where I started. I think that was the foundation of everything that got me to where I am now and all the experiences that I've had. So, in terms of background, that's basically all I would add to that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah yeah, you're a proud Californian, right, we've got plenty of girls that are from that side of the country. That's awesome. So I want to do first like I would just like to have you kind of explain we're talking a little bit before we started here about your season in Japan and what that's like, and I don't know if we ever had an athlete on here that was playing in Japan. So talk to us, share with us a little bit about what the Japanese league is like, what you're doing over there, what's it been like for you as a player over in Japan?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so the Japan league has actually been around for a really long time, like even Coach Lisa played over there over here and I think even before her. And I guess the way that they've always done it is three months in the beginning of the year. From March to June we have our first half of the season, we play around 20 games, and then we have a summer break. So I come back home and play professionally in the States or do my USA stuff, and then I come back out here from September to right before Thanksgiving for another three months to finish out our season.

Speaker 2:

And how many teams are there? Is it like division wise, or is it just one big league, or how does that work?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, there's 16 teams, so it's really interesting the way they do it. It's company teams, so obviously I play for Toyota. There's other companies like Honda, mitsububishi, and they just have their softball team. So there's 16 companies that really invest in sports, and softball is one of them, and then we just we kind of all keep playing each other throughout the year okay, and those are like a championship, like at the end, or a tournament, or how do they?

Speaker 3:

yes, yeah, we are coming up on the championship. So my team, the way the tournament works is also very interesting. We secured our spot in the championship like the first half of the season when I was here earlier this year, because we won everyone against everyone in our league. So now we're basically guaranteed a spot in the championship, which will be coming up in November oh, that's interesting.

Speaker 2:

Is it like a one game playoff, or is it a series, or how do you play it?

Speaker 3:

It's, I believe, two games. I also have terrible memory and I this is only like my second year out here, so I'm trying to remember last year. You show how they tell you to show up right.

Speaker 2:

Like they say, get on the bus, you get on the bus. That's awesome. And have you always been a pitcher, or did you dabble in any other positions before you started pitching?

Speaker 3:

I started as a catcher. I was pretty strong growing up, I was a pretty big kid, I had a good arm and I think I started at catching and then one of our pitchers got hurt and they threw me in the pitch and I just really threw hard. It was literally all over the place but I threw hard, fell in love with pitching, was a pitcher In travel ball. I played first as well a little bit and I'd hit like every now and then.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, pitching is my passion, that's what I love to do, that's awesome, and so do you hit now or do you just pitch, or how does it work in Japan? Do they have different roles?

Speaker 3:

I literally just recently retired from hitting, I think that I yeah, so I liked hitting for a while. I hit for a year, I think, coach. I needed me to hit at UCLA at, be kind of like both sides of the ball, which was really fun. And then in pro I continued to train and then I decided that my focus I just wanted to focus on pitching, but I did really enjoy my time as a hitter as well.

Speaker 2:

That's great. So we were talking about it before, but I also saw that you played volleyball in high school, which is near and dear to my own heart because I also played volleyball. But what do you think? That, even though you only played for a few years in high school, what was that like? What did you take from volleyball that's helped you, or what's helped you about playing multiple sports?

Speaker 3:

I think for me there are so many aspects of that lifestyle that helped me, especially at a young age. In high school specifically, you kind of get to like the nitty gritty of softball, and also in volleyball too, that's where you know you're getting recruited. It's very competitive. So for me it was really interesting to learn how to balance all of those responsibilities because I took them very seriously and I wanted to do well in anything that I was doing. So, scheduling wise, like in high school already I was lifting, working out, and then I would do high school, like schooling, and then volleyball practice and then go up to Corona for softball. So for me I was really lucky because I had a lot of support from my parents. But being able to learn how to balance all of those things at a young age was important and I think that it was something I took pride in and it taught me how to work hard in a way that you could kind of only get with that sort of lifestyle.

Speaker 3:

I think it also kind of prepared me to be a student athlete when I got to college. I got to college, um, so I just and obviously, like skill wise, you learn different movements, different ways to move specifically for pitching. All of that jumping was really helpful. Um, it helped keep me active, keep my brain active and always learning. Um, I feel like, if I me personally the way that I am, if I didn't have volleyball, I probably would have just went home and sat on my couch and watched Netflix, but I was just always doing, I was always busy. So that's what I really liked about it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that sounds like. That sounds like it would be great to help you. Time management is an important skill for sure to learn at any point in your life. What would you say? So you experience, obviously, multiple other levels of softball. You got to have the high school level and then you got to play in college and now you're playing professionally. So what would you say is the biggest difference between college and high school and professionals?

Speaker 3:

I would say at any evolution of my career. Truly, the only difference that I felt is the skill level and the talent. So that sounds like a very simple basic thing to say, but there's a lot that comes with that. It's going to demand more of you, obviously, the better that your competition gets and the better that skill that you're surrounded by. You're going to have to keep leveling up.

Speaker 3:

But I think that can also be very nerve-wracking to know that you're just kind of, especially as a freshman in college or a rookie and professional, you're just kind of dumped into these really intimidating places and you just have to. At least I always just thought the only thing that's different is the skill level. Like obviously they're going to be better because they've been doing this longer, like they're they're college girls and these are professional women. So for me I looked at it as like an inviting challenge, like they're just the sport is just asking me to level up and that's what I want to do anyways. So there's that and I and then I think also just comes with maturity of the people obviously, like as we get older, we all mature, you think of things faster, you solve problems a little quicker, you're more efficient, everyone is a little bit more dialed in to what we're there to do, so that was a little bit different as well.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. So what's your experience with mental skills? When were you first introduced to them? Did you do it at all in high school? Was it first in college or now in the pros? What was your experience with those mental skills and learning mental skills?

Speaker 3:

especially toughness, but what comes with that is just like a huge amount of self-belief. You can only be tough if you believe yourself to be tough. So that I think I was really lucky growing up and then especially in travel ball with Corona Angels. Marty Tyson would. We would have our notebooks and we would be writing down all these things that he's teaching us. We would read books, we'd read articles. So it was from a young age around what I'm assuming these guys on the call that's when I would learn. I didn't get into an actual sports psychologist until UCLA and they provided one.

Speaker 2:

So as a team we got to work with them and in the professional space they also provide resources there and what would you say are like your go-to mental skills, like, say, you're in a slump, like what? How do you attack that slump? What's your process to help get you through to the other?

Speaker 3:

side. I think the biggest thing that I think about is just reframing. So in every single situation that you're in at any age, you can reframe the situation. I talk to my mom about this all the time because I just think it's so funny and I have no idea why I did this. But I specifically remember when I was like maybe 10 or so, my dad was catching me on the bucket and I was just having like the worst bullpen of my life and it was so bad. I'm sure it was bullpen of my life and it was so bad. I'm sure it was really frustrating for my dad and I think parents in that situation can also get obviously a little bit just frustrated and he was showing that a little bit and I remember like I would catch the ball and I felt like crying and I was just so upset and mad at myself and I felt that I was wasting my dad's time.

Speaker 3:

And I remember turning this is I don't want to sound like strange, but I remember turning and in my head I would imagine after I looked at my dad I would turn and in the background was an audience and they were all cheering for me and it was in a theater and they're all smiling and they were happy and they're like you can do this, like I believe in you. There are a lot like the energy just felt way different than what it could have been and I think from a young age, for some reason, I learned how to reframe that one bad bullpen that I easily could have cried quit, throw my glove and just walked away, and instead I had it in my mind that nope, this is fun. Like I have this audience here. So maybe that's a little bit of visualization too, just using your imagination and getting creative, but for me that has happened so many times.

Speaker 3:

Actually, I just trained with Coach Lisa at UCLA and we were talking about reframing the situation. So I told her I've been having again, really frustrating bullpens and it's like man, I'll throw a pitch that I grade as an A plus and I get so mad because why didn't I do that sooner? Why didn't I do that 10 times in a row? And she says, no, like you have to reframe that, you just do an A plus pitch. That's great, like that is one coin in the piggy bank that you're going to be able to take when you get into the game. You're going to remember that. So there's definitely times where our own thoughts try to attack us, and for me, I always use reframing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's powerful. It's amazing what our mind can do, isn't it? You can turn from this bad thing into a positive thing, and I hope you guys I hope you guys heard what she just said Like, when was this experience? It was just recently, right, yes, yes, yeah. So here she is a professional athlete, she's played for Team USA, she's still working on these things, she's still working on getting those mental, that mental game right, like it's a lifelong struggle that you constantly are working at.

Speaker 2:

And once you have these tools, it's not like everything is automatically fixed.

Speaker 2:

It's not like all of a sudden you'll never doubt yourself again or you'll never have a bad day, or you'll never have any of that but now you have the tools so that when you do come against those rough times that you're like, okay, this is just a bad day, now what can I do about it to help move past it and not have it tear me down. So that's what's so powerful about these mental skills is that really, they have the ability to have the tool belt to be able to use in those situations. So they don't, they aren't to your detriment, but yeah, that's so. That's so awesome that, even as a professional, even as a professional, that you still need these tools, you still need these skills, even though I mean, in some ways it's kind of depressing to know that right like we hope, hope that someday in life it's just like easy at some point. It's got to be easier than it is for right now, but it's just not that you know that's part of the joy of it too.

Speaker 2:

Right, right, life on process. That's awesome Thanks. Thanks for sharing that. So we'll go ahead and we'll just open it up to you girls. We got a few that have joined us here on the call, so if any of you guys want to send in the chat, you're welcome to ask questions, or if you want to unmute and ask your question directly, feel free to do that. What do you guys got for us? What questions do you have for Meg?

Speaker 3:

What's your why?

Speaker 3:

That is a great question. I love that question. I have a few whys for me at my very base, if you're just asking me as a person like Megan for him a little Meg. I have always wanted to be the best. I would have crazy ideas and I've told coach Lisa this. So I don't feel bad for saying but I'd be like I want to be better than Lisa Fernandez, like how can I make? I don't know who put that thought in my head, but that, and it was also paired with. I've just always had this belief in my potential that I can actually do that. So call me crazy, but that's always what I work towards.

Speaker 3:

That's a part of my why. A big part of my why is my culture and my family. My grandparents came to America from American Samoa and they made all these sacrifices along the way and there's so many stories like that, so many little girls that look like me. So I try my best to be a role model, not only for all the little girls, but specifically for the ones that look like me and maybe have similar stories. It's important to me that I do my best for them. So that's a huge part of my why and I also am very I have strong faith and I believe that God has a plan for me and I think that my responsibility while I'm here is to fulfill that plan.

Speaker 3:

So if I can just do my best to again fulfill my potential and what I see it to be, I'm going to do that and it kind of gives me a little bit of meaning. So I have a lot of wise. That's a really good question. It's important for you guys to have something bigger than yourself. I think that's kind of what keeps you going too.

Speaker 2:

It's one of the first modules that they go through in our program is talking about their why and making sure that's real clear in their heads. That's really.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think that's great.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, all right, what else, guys what?

Speaker 3:

other questions you got, for you've got a professional athlete sitting here right in front of you, it is no question, but I liked you talking about how you juggle volleyball and softball. Yes, it was. Now that I look back I'm like, oh my gosh, how did I do that? That was kind of crazy, but it was so much fun. I had a lot of fun. I met a lot of friends, you get different connections and also, I think I opened myself up. My parents opened up the opportunity for me to learn from different coaches as well, coaches that do not have a softball brain so they're not going to talk to you about. This is a game of all the same lessons that you kind of always learn from coach to coach. This is a game of failure and you're going to fail. So it wasn't any of that because it's volleyball. So I'm learning different ways that different athletes approach their problems, and that was really fun.

Speaker 2:

That's. That's one of the things I liked the most about playing different sports, too, is it's like you pick up different skills, including different mental skills, different sports that you played. I think it's, it's a valuable experience for sure.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, hey, I see a food question. What do I normally eat before the game? I it depends on what time the game is, because if it's breakfast time I will not be eating a full dinner. Usually I try to keep it at least protein, like get my enough to feel full, but not overly full, and I'm not eating candy or anything like something that will give me a super sugar rush and then crash right before the first inning. Um, that isn't very fun for me. So I do like to make sure that my belly is full, but full with good things, like I eat a lot of um, kind of like chicken, like protein, I like protein. I'll eat rice out here in Japan they have so much rice, so I eat that. Or protein shakes. I switch it up. I have to switch it up, but definitely fuel. Food is fuel. Let's see.

Speaker 3:

Okay, another question what do you listen to before games? I listen mostly to reggae. I will say. A mental skill that I learned at UCLA is having a process before you go into your games and knowing what energy level or like what mind space you need to get yourself into hype and super fiery early before the game, and it just kind of makes my brain go in circles before I even have the chance to compete. So for me reggae kind of brings me back down right to neutral, where I need to be. But I know a lot of teammates that need the energy boost so they'll listen to all kinds of stuff. But I like reggae or really old school songs.

Speaker 2:

Reggae? I don't think that's been anyone's answer. You might be the first one that listens to reggae. I mean, we get a lot of rap, we get some country, we get a bunch of other things, but reggae we haven't really heard before.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, no, Bob Marley, all of that. If you youngsters want to give him a listen, listen to the words. It's good. It's a good brain space to be in a good, positive mindset to be in.

Speaker 2:

It is and it's very like, calming, very like yeah, yeah, it's good what else you guys got? I've got one. While you guys are still thinking um, what do you, what do you do for fun? What? What's life like outside of softball? Do you do other things?

Speaker 3:

I do do other things. Sometimes I am a homebody so I love staying home. But I'll stay home and I read a lot of books. I actually read a lot of like mental books and things that sort of help me feel better or feel like I'm moving forward. I like to write. I like to dance and sing. I'm not good at either one of those, but I do enjoy it. Let's see what's your favorite book. My favorite book, let's see my favorite fun book right now, is probably A Court of Thorns and Roses. Everyone in AU there's a lot of readers in AU like professional world and that was like the number one book that they recommended. So I just read that.

Speaker 3:

I'm trying to think of a book for like my mental skills that maybe you guys can read too. I think there's. I feel like the Alchemist is one that I feel like everyone always says that one's good about self-belief and all of that and like your personal story and your your journey. But I read a lot of like David Goggins. I don't know if care if you've heard of that, but that one's pretty Um and I just got an author of the title. David Goggins is the author and it's um, the title is can't hurt me. That one is crazy. That one really got me. I think, oh, okay, I have one discipline is destiny by Ryan holiday. That one I liked a lot.

Speaker 3:

This we talked a little bit about, or you mentioned time management being an important skill and it totally is, 100% agree, and I also think that you need to have discipline in order to even manage your time. Like if you're going to make a schedule but then you don't have the discipline to execute it, then you kind of didn't really help yourself. So that one taught me a lot about that. If you were to play a sport that wasn't softball, what would it be? Guys, I still love volleyball. I would totally go back and play volleyball. I think I also really like basketball. Especially with the WNBA right now going off, I would love to be a basketball player, but that is just so much running.

Speaker 2:

We got time for a couple more.

Speaker 3:

if anybody else has any more burning questions, what do you think led you to prose honestly, I'm gonna go back just because I think it's the foundation of everything, especially when we're talking about mental skills is one that I always visualize my potential as being able to be the best. And then two is that I truly believe that I can do that and get there. So you guys will find out as you get older, and especially once you get to college, if that's your dream. Everyone starts to work hard. You, like you, start to notice that there's a baseline of working hard and everyone meets kind of the general standard and there's always going to be those outliers that really push it. So for me, it was knowing that I am a hard worker, I will do all of that. I'll even go above the baseline, but that doesn't really matter if you don't truly believe and have the confidence to achieve what you want to achieve.

Speaker 3:

I, from a young age, knew that I wanted to play professional softball ever since I was 12 years old and I wanted so badly to play in Japan and to specifically play for this team. And I didn't consciously, like every day, have it on my mind that I'm going to be here, I'm going to be a pro, but I knew that I wanted to do the work, like I just always wanted to be the best. I wanted to do the work. I was willing to do the work and I was just. I had so much belief in me. So I think that that led me to kind of being where I am today and obviously had so much support and help. And I got really lucky with amazing coaches. Both of my parents helped get me places and I have brothers that are my biggest supporters, so it took a whole village. But I think at the base was just being confident that I would get myself here one day.

Speaker 3:

Let's see, what's your favorite position in softball besides the one that you play? I have always wanted to be a shortstop, but I just cannot like read the ball that well and, yeah, shortstops are so impressive and like stay that low to the ground. I have super long legs so I try, but I get tired really fast. And I also really like catchers. I've always wanted to throw someone out or I feel like that would be a really fun feeling and I think that catchers are also. They get to like yell a lot and like two outs and like call plays and stuff. I think that that's so fun. Um so, yeah, I think catcher too. Oh my gosh, I'm blocking balls.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that'd be fun yeah, those catchers definitely think they're in charge, don't they?

Speaker 3:

Really no, they are. I love it. They are in charge. Yeah, this says who is your best friend on UCLA softball. When I was there, I was best friends and still am best friends with my bullpen catcher. She is the one that was just in the daily grind with me every single day catching on my bullpens. We spent a lot of time together, also close with Char. I just saw Charlize Palacios at UCLA. She was my. I usually gravitate towards my catchers, naturally. Who else my, my is a good friend, maya Megan Grant I spent a lot of time with. There's a lot of really good Bruins.

Speaker 3:

What is your biggest tip to young athletes that nobody really talks about? I think I want to go back to the idea of discipline, because I think that if I learned that earlier, my life probably would have been a lot easier. So maybe they do talk to young athletes about that. But what I always heard was the time management piece, and it wasn't until I got to college that I realized oh, this is really about self-control and discipline and execution.

Speaker 3:

I think another thing is a big word that I just talked to Coach Lisa about is monotonous work, and that is just doing the same thing over and over and over again. So there's a difference between staying at the field for five hours and like kind of doing things but not doing them masterfully, and so if you guys can get used to enjoying the process over anything and enjoying the hitting the same exact ball on the tee the same exact way over and over again until you can control that, then I think you'll be in a really, really good spot all right, let's see this last one from Clara, and then I've got a closing question, and then I think that's about all the time we're going to have.

Speaker 3:

So okay, my favorite mental skill I don't know if this, this really counts. I think this might be more than a more of a tool, but I want you guys to think about journaling and just remembering things that you learn. So I could sit here and talk and share and you could go through a whole practice day, but then you might forget it like a week from now you might forget the epiphanies that you had. So a skill for me has literally just been learning how to remember what I learned, especially as I get older and had so many experiences. What I learned, especially as I get older and had so many experiences. A skill is like remembering and being able to recall that while I'm in the game, which is huge. Like being able to remember what you worked on in practice. When it's bases loaded, championship game and there's like full count In the pressure moments, you want to remember all of the basics. So for me, a tool that helped with that was definitely journaling.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, great, Thank you so much. So our last question that we like to ask everybody that comes along is if you were a time traveler and you could go back in time and tell your former self something, what would you tell your former self, whether that was like in high school or college, or if you could just go back in time, what would you say to yourself? What advice would you give?

Speaker 3:

I think, well, if I had the opportunity to do that, I think I would go to a moment where I was super down, bad, felt like I had no one. No one understood me and doubted myself. Even that has happened a few times throughout my career and it'll continue to happen. That's just life, especially as an athlete. So if I had the opportunity first, I would go back to a time like that and I would tell myself that you are important, you're kind, you're more than a softball player, player and, if nothing else, there's someone out there if not God that forgives you and loves you at your worst moments. You'll be okay.

Speaker 3:

You figured out everything from this point, or yeah, until this point, you figured out everything else. So you're going to figure this out, we're going to get through it. It's just a blip in time and time keeps on going. So, yeah, if I had an opportunity like that, I think I would definitely go and like, try to make myself relax a little bit, like it's all going to be okay, just throw on some reggae, we're going to have a good time. But that's definitely what I would tell myself.

Speaker 2:

That's great advice for any anybody, in any situation. Just take a breath, it's all going to be okay, yes, all right. Well, awesome, thank you so so much, meg, for coming on and sharing all this wisdom. I feel like you really shared a lot of yourself today, so I really really appreciate you taking the time all the way from Japan.

Speaker 3:

Yes, love it. Thanks so much for hopping on the call. You guys just got like 10% better today. I love that for you. Thank you so much for having me.

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