The Fearless Warrior Podcast

119: How to Break Free from Perfectionism with Ashley Prange

• Amanda Schaefer

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In today's episode, Coach Kara and our Warriors sat down with Ashley Prange, professional softball player and University of Alabama alum. She shares about perfectionism, injuries, and the moment she almost walked away, and how a transfer, faith, and a person-first culture brought joy back to the game.

Episode Highlights:

• Early commit pressure and perfectionism 
• Mental health experiences
• Transfer choice fueled by faith and support 
• Routines for nutrition, scouting, and recovery 
• Embracing mistakes and tight error recovery 

Connect with Ashley:

IG: @ashley_prange


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Welcome And Guest Intro

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the Fearless Warrior Podcast, a place for athletes, coaches, and parents who know the value of a strong mindset. I'm your host, Coach AB, a mental performance coach on a mission, former softball coach, wife, and mom of three. Each episode, we will dive deep into all things mental performance, mindset tools, and how to rewire the brain for success. So if your goal is to gain the mental edge and learn the secrets of mental performance, you're in the right place. Let's tune in to today's episode.

SPEAKER_02

Hi, good evening. Welcome to tonight's mentorship call. We are super, super excited to have our mentor here tonight. Um we have Ashley Prainey who has joined us. Um Ashley is originally from Indiana and as a was an all-out stud in high school. She was the 2018 Gatorade Softball Player of the Year, which is pretty incredible. Then she played a couple of years at Ohio State from 2019 to 2021, and then transferred over to Alabama to play in um the 2022 and 2023 seasons, where she was um she was voted two times to the first team all SEC. She's a third baseman. I never I never said that. Plays third base. So I don't know, I don't know that we've had a straight third baseman come yet. Um we actually don't get a ton of infield, we get lots of pitchers, a few outfielders. So um we're super happy to have you here, Ashley.

SPEAKER_01

Go ahead and introduce yourself. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. First of all, I'm super excited. Um, and all the stuff that we had talked about before about mental training um and mental health, all of those things were things that I wish I had at your guys' age growing up and getting ready to go to play in college. And so I'm super excited to just kind of share my story. Um, kind of like she had said, I played at Ohio State. I was before all of the early commitment rules. And so I committed super young. Um, and then obviously played throughout high school and ended up spending the first kind of half of my college career at Ohio State before I transferred. Um, and then played a little bit of professional softball too after I graduated in 2023. Um, and so yeah, you want me just to dive like right into my story or yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, uh you should tell them too what you're doing right now. We just we just found out that we live in the same backyard. She's literally five minutes from me. Yes and is in Michigan right now.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, in Michigan, um, kind of working in sports performance training, giving lessons. Um, but I'm also up here training because I'm gonna go back into professional softball here in a few weeks. And so my coach lives up here. Um, and yeah, it was just like the perfect fit. So I've been back on the field and back in the cleats, which has been the biggest blessing, but also the biggest surprise. Um, and so yeah, having a blast. Yeah, that's awesome.

Ashley’s Early Commit And Perfectionism

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, go ahead and share your a little bit of your story and why mental skills are so close to your your heart.

Injuries, COVID, And Confidence Cracks

Teammate Crisis And Mental Health Wake-Up

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Um, so kind of like I said before, I committed super young. Um, I was at the end of my eighth grade year. Um, and this was before they made the rules about you can't visit schools until you're a junior, which I'm all for. I think that's so smart because I see my little brother and I'm like, I never would have ever wanted you to think about college at that age. Um played through high school and I wouldn't say I struggled with my mental health until I got to college. Um, but I definitely think in high school, like I had set myself up. I wouldn't say to struggle, but to like have a different experience when I got to school, if that makes sense. Um, I was always a perfectionist, and because of committing super young, I always felt like I had really high expectations, not just for myself, but from other people. Um, because you hear someone commit young and you're like, wow, like they must be really good at what they do. And so the second that you fail, it everyone sees it and everyone notices. And so I just remember going through like high school. Um, I had a really successful high school career, um, but always just kind of that perfectionist mode. I always wanted to be at the field an extra hour. I it's all I did, and that's really all I had to do because high school, you just kind of get a little bit more time on your hands um as a kid. And so I graduate in 2018 and go off to school. Um, Ohio State's two and a half hours away from home. I'm a homebody and my family's my world. And so the typical emotions of like, oh, like I'm kind of homesick, all the things. Um, fast forward to the spring, I ended up getting hurt. I tore my quad, but they didn't find out until about six months after. And so by the time I had actually found out it was injured, I had played pretty much the whole season and just didn't play as well as I wanted to. Um, if I made a mistake in practice, it kind of impacted me the rest of the day. Um, like I said, I was a perfectionist. And so to me, a mistake was me making a mountain out of a moleh. And I did that pretty consistently. Um, and so went home for freshman summer and then obviously went back for my sophomore year. Starting sophomore season, I ended up tearing my peck, so I wasn't able to throw the ball. Um, and then as I was rehabbing that, I was coming back, only able to hit because I still couldn't throw due to the injury. Um, I was having the best year at the plate for me, I was hitting almost 500 um through our preseason games, and then COVID shut down the entire season. And so pack up everything, go back home. Um, and I'm not sure how old y'all were when COVID hit, which makes me sad, but I was so babies. I know that's crazy. And so um I packed up my stuff, I went home. Um, at the time, y'all are just getting a whole glimpse of my life. I was dating a guy for five years when COVID hit, broke up with him, drove back home, bought a dog, um, and just lived live for six months and still have my dog, my baby. But um yeah, had kind of like started to struggle with mental health during COVID, um, had kind of messed with the idea of transferring, but also had felt like I've been loyal, like this program has been loyal to me since I was 14. And so for me to go through what I went through and then have a COVID-type season, like who am I to write them off like that? And so um went back from my junior year, and I would say this is when my eyes were opened the most to my person, my personal mental health. Um, so was having a fine time. This is in the fall. And then in October, one of my teammates attempted suicide and me, my founder. And so just battled with that. Um, praise the Lord, she lived, but um, she was very much struggling with her mental health. Um, I wouldn't say it was directly from softball, but in general. Um and like most athletes, was trying to be tough, um, was very overwhelmed and what happened happened. Um, but as a result of that, I felt a lot of weight of that. And so me and my roommate, who was also with me, both struggling, both on the softball team. Um, and it just like impacted how I went about my day. Like I was unable to focus in class. I had a recurring nightmare, I couldn't sleep at night, just overall struggling. But then it's like no one taught me how to struggle. One, how to ask for help and how to deal with it, but also how to have that coexist with what I'm here to do, which is play softball. Um, and because of all of that, I felt overwhelmed and depressed and sad. Um I actually got sent home for a little bit from school. Um, they're like, hey, like you need to go take care of yourself. Um and I, my perfectionist mind was like, no, absolutely not. Like I'm strong at the time. I was a captain on the softball team. And so I was like, how am I supposed to lead people and admit that I'm struggling? Like I'm supposed to be the tough one. And so spent a lot of time like wrestling with that. Um, went back home and then because of COVID, Thanksgiving was like meshed with Christmas break. So I ended up spending a lot of time at home. Um, and then went back for my junior season. And I was like, okay, great, like I'm good to go. Like had some time to like clear my mind, take care of myself. And then ended up having the worst season of my career. And so I still looking back, I never really took the time to properly deal with what I needed to deal with. I think I thought I did. Um, and I think I did a really good job of putting on the smile. Like, you know, people are so quick to be like, oh, just like rub some dirt on it when you get hurt, get back out there, make the next play. Um, and I was really, really good at doing that, but also at the cost of me really struggling on the inside. Um, had the so had the worst season, ended up, I was gonna quit softball altogether. Um, if I didn't end the transfer portal, I was more likely to quit than I was to transfer. Um, and so for the sake of time, long story short, uh, one of my old teammates, she had a walk-up song that was called Only Jesus by Casting Crowns. Um, if you haven't heard it, write it down. Highly recommend it. Um, it was the only reason why I ended up at Alabama. And so texted her after. I was like, hey, I love your walkout song. I had never heard it. I grew up in the church. Um, faith has been a big part of my story for as long as I can remember. And I would say right around this time is when my faith also started to become really real to me because the one thing I had found so much of my identity in, I felt like was being taken from me. Um, and even if it wasn't being taken, I just didn't love it anymore. Um, and so she was like, Ashley, like, I can't help but feel like you're not happy where you're at. Um, which I hadn't spoken to her in four years. So I was like, why would you say that? It's crazy, but you're right. Um, and so we had just like talked, and she's just a really, really great friend. Um, and I finally just got to the point where I was like, you know, like I one, I don't really want to do this anymore. Um, but in what I thought was quitting, I think was more so me just kind of surrendering it to the Lord and being super open-handed with like, look, like this has been a blessing to me for three years. Um, if I no longer continue doing this, like I had my parents' approval to just go home and be a normal student. They're like, if this is what you want to do, like we understand you've been through a lot. Clearly you're struggling. Um, and we're not gonna force you to stay in something that's not serving you the way that we thought it would or that it should. Um, and so I just remember being so desperate, crying all the time. Um, and for me, I'm a pretty smiley, like outgoing person. And so when I get quiet, like people typically know like something's off. Um, and so I was kind of like, you know, like, God, if this is it, like take it. Um, like it's it's yours. Like I said, I wanted to use this platform for something bigger than myself. If it's not supposed to be used for myself at all, then like great, I don't want it. So had been wrestling with transferring, quitting. Um, and then had that conversation and at the end of the season decided to enter the transfer portal. Um, and my first call was Indiana. That's home for me, 45 minutes from my house. Um, so was gonna go there, was like all about it. And then my coach randomly reached out and was like, you're never gonna guess who I talk to, which ended up being Alabama. And then again, long story short, I went on a visit and absolutely fell in love um with every part of it. Um, the only, the one thing it's written in gold in our facility is person over player. It's like a little fraction in our hitting facility. Um and Murph stopped me right there and he was like, Hey, like this is the only thing that we have in gold here. And I just want you to know I'm gonna love you on the days that you're oh for four just as much as I will on the days that you're four for four. Um, and he was really, really big on he's like, hey, Ashley, like I don't have kids. Like you guys are my kids, and like it's my job to push you guys and train you guys in practice, but it's your guys' show when you get to go out on game day. Um and he's like, and I just love being able to sit back and watch y'all play. And so immediately fell in love with all of it. Um I was like, wow, this feels like home. Um, and they said all the right things, but in my two years, they also backed him up with all the actions and can confidently say Alabama changed my life. Um, the first place the girls took me was church down in Tuscaloosa. Um, immediately, the story that I never wanted to tell about my mental health, they made it super easy to be vulnerable. Um, and they just loved and like accepted me for who I was in the most genuine way. Um, and truly just like I said, changed my life. Um, so in that, like I would say the moment that I was willing to give up softball is when the Lord kind of gave it back and doubled it in the coolest way. Um, so then graduated in 2023 after going to the Women's College World Series. Again, if you would have asked 21-year-old Ashley before I transferred, if in a year and a half she'd be in the World Series, I probably would have laughed. Um, ended the career my career in Oklahoma City, like a storybook ending to the dream. Um, ended up playing for the Florida vibe that summer, and then went into college coaching for a little bit. Um, so not to carry on too long, I know we only have like 30 minutes, but um, ended up walking away from softball after that season. I was like, you know, like I'm good. Like, this has been more than I could have asked for. Like the ending was exactly what I would have dreamed it to be. I got to say I played pro. Um and I've seen the Lord work in the coolest way. Like, if I'm like, if I never see the Lord do anything else, like I've seen enough just in my playing career alone. Um, so took a job, coaching at UAB, wasn't gonna play softball anymore. Um, fast forward to after that first season, my dad got sick on June 2nd. He was given eight to 12 months to live, and then passed away on June 28th. Um, so then what I thought was really bad mental health in college um was 10 times more when I felt like my world was just flipped upside down. And so ended up moving back home to Indiana, um, gave up softball and coaching, I ended up working in full-time ministry at a church back home that was actually my family's like home church. Um, so super full circle. Um, and truly, truly helped me with my mental health in the most gentle ways. Um, I truly think I wouldn't be as on my feet as I feel like I am. Maybe I'm not sometimes, but wouldn't be on my feet if it wasn't for them. Um and so then after that, decided to go back and coach at SEU, Southeastern University, a really small school in Florida. Um, and then recently moved up to Michigan because I'm actually gonna play professional again. Um, and so now it's just cool uh looking back and like if I could tell myself what I now what I knew then, or vice versa, if I could tell myself what I know now back then, um being able to see the game after being away from it is like an opportunity for joy rather than trying to strive and like perform and earn something. Um, because in college you're trying to win the the games, the series, the world series, whatever it might be. But um now I feel like it's a way to honor my dad, but also just put the cleats on again. And so going through all of the struggles really taught me how to find joy in something that I had hated at one point. Um, but wouldn't have ever got to that point if I didn't take the first step of like, hey, I'm not okay. And so if you guys hear anything from this, like one, obviously the cliche of it's okay to not be okay, but also there's no shame in asking for help. Um, and sometimes what we perceive as weakness is actually strength. And so, yeah, that's kind of my story in a nutshell. Hopefully I didn't ramble too much.

Rock Bottom, Faith, And Transfer Decision

SPEAKER_02

But no, that is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing all of that. That I'm sure a lot of that hit home with these girls. Just that idea of like most of the girls that we work with are pretty good softball players, which is why their parents understand that this is an important part of the game as well. But um, I think that's a common, a common misconception is like if I'm one of the best players on my team, or if I'm the coach's kid and I'm leading this team, I've got to be, I've got to be okay all the time. And that's just not the case. Um, we were talking a little bit before we jumped on that you weren't really exposed to the idea of like these mental skills until college, right? That you said. Yeah. Um, what was the most helpful mental skill that you learned in college that you wish you had earlier?

SPEAKER_01

Um, I wish I would have one, I guess accepted the fact that I was a perfectionist. I think because it was effective in high school, and like I was successful in high school, I didn't really see it as a problem until I started to not be successful. And I'm like, okay, like this is actually a pretty big issue for me. Um, but I was kind of like I said earlier, I referenced it, but I was the queen of making mountains out of Mole Hills. Like one air was like a bad practice, or a strikeout on a live at bat meant like I wasn't gonna play. Like it was like something crazy, and that's not even the truth. So, like, right, and being on the other side of all of that as a college coach, like I know that's not the truth. Like now, seeing both perspectives, like I've seen the player side and I've seen the coaching side, and like I don't even remember that one at bat as a coach now. When it as a player, I thought of it for a week, which is crazy. Yeah, um, but I just wish that someone would have told me that, like, someone, hey, like go make your mistakes, go in 110% and move on. Like, if you can say that you gave everything you had, then great, like no one's mad at you. But the second they're mad is when you give 50 for the fear of making the mistake. Um, and once I truly bought into that, it changed how I looked at one failure, but also the game as a whole.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I love that. Just like don't let the fear of making mistakes hold back. Like, don't don't let that stop you from trying. Yeah. And that, you know, that's why we that's why we teach the failure recovery, right? It's so easy for that one little mistake to snowball. But everybody's gonna make singular mistakes, and the best players just make single mistakes as opposed to you know lesser players that let one mistake lead to another, to another, to another, to another.

SPEAKER_01

Right. And realizing too, to kind of piggyback off of that, like the best in our game. So this think that like someone for team USA hits 400, they're still failing six out of 10 times. So the majority of every part of our game is failure. You're constantly bait judged based on rate of failure. If you look at a stat, it's how many times do you fail out of however many abats? Um, and so it's how can I get that perspective out of my brain and get more of like a growth mindset into it? Um, and focus more on like the adjustment versus what I actually failed at too.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So important. Um okay, well, we have about 10 minutes. Um, does anyone have any questions for Ashley that you're dying to ask her? You can go ahead and unmute or you can put it in the chat, whichever one you like. It can be anything. You can ask Ashley what she had for dinner. Here's one that we get a lot is what what's your favorite uh or what do you eat pre-game? Like what's your pre-game meal?

Alabama’s Person Over Player Culture

SPEAKER_01

I'm trying to think back to college. Um, I've definitely gotten more into nutrition being out of college. That's another thing I wish I would have known about. Like I I felt like I could eat anything and everything. Um, and I could because I burned it off in college, but now going back into softball after being out of it, I would say I would go to like half a bagel, maybe some eggs and a fruit. But I'm also not someone that likes to eat super heavy before a game because I it just I feel like it weighs me down. I don't know. Like, I feel like I'm just not as light on my feet if I'm eating a big meal. And so I would usually get a coffee, I had a grande vanilla cream cold brew from Starbucks every game day. Um, and that, and then something light to eat, and I was good to go. Are you a mid-game snacker? Do you have a snack during the game that you like? Sometimes um, they always had like a box and they always had fruit snacks. I love fruit snacks. There was something else, and I don't remember what it was, and I would always get it. I think it was like one of those like stinger waffle things. Do you know what that is?

SPEAKER_02

Yes, like the honey honey waffles.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, the honey like stinger waffle, and they always had those and both of them, and so either fruit snacks or that mid-game. Nice.

SPEAKER_02

Uh Kate asked, what helped you overcome injuries quicker?

SPEAKER_01

Um, so I'm I'm gonna give my answer and then I'm gonna give what I wish I would have done. Um, so I'm super stubborn um and always was because also I was never injured in high school. And so again, I was taught reps and draw on it, you're fine, get back out there, whatever. Um, so when I had all of the resources in college, I was slower to use them, not because they weren't there, but because I didn't think I needed them. Um, and so being willing to accept the help that I needed again, um, I know we talk about that mentally, but also physically for me was big. Um, being consistent with treatment times, being consistent with the rehab that I needed, um, knowing my limits, being willing to stop when I needed it, because the more that I tried to push through it, the worse it got. Um, but also like taking care of my body, going in for extra recovery, getting in the ice bath when everyone hates the ice bath, no one wants to do that. But getting in it because it does work, it does help. Um, taking the time to stretch properly and just essentially doing what I was told to do. Um, looking back, I can now admit I was just a very stubborn athlete overall. I was a perfectionist. I thought I knew what I was doing. Um, and Definitely reaped what I sowed in that aspect. And so just taking the advice that I was given, I guess I would say, and just being aware and not being afraid to ask for help too. Um because there's people that want to help you, and they don't see that as weakness either.

SPEAKER_02

Awesome. Good question. Adel's asked, Did you have a favorite team to coach?

SPEAKER_01

Um, I liked both of them. Like I don't want to be that person that says I like both of them equally, but I did like both of them equally and for different reasons. Um, UAB was just like they're just fun. Like they were fun to be around, they competed. Um, practices were intense, but light at the same time. And light, not as far as like easy, but light is in like joy. Like people are laughing, people are having a good time, softball's fun. Um, I loved SEU because I truly felt like I don't know if you guys know much about Southeastern, um, but Christian Campus, small private school. Um, if you're into worship music, SCU worship, they just released an album, I think, a year ago. It's incredible. Um, but it's the same school. And so every we had Team Chapel that we went to every week. SEU Worship performed at Team Chapel. And I just really felt like as much as I was pouring out as a coach, I was equally being poured into by other people. Um, and just again, I was going through a hard time with what happened with my dad. And so I really felt like they just kind of like shouldered me through all of it um in a really loving and kind way. And so, and the girls were fantastic, like the sweetest souls, the sweetest hearts. Um, and again, made it fun. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I have another one for you. Um, what do you do outside of softball for fun?

SPEAKER_01

Oh gosh. Uh, I have a dog. I love my dog. Um, I love to be around friends. I'm a people person, like I I thrive around people, and it's not that I hate to be alone. I just would rather be outside doing anything else than sit in the house. Um, so love coffee. I'm a huge coffee date with my friends girl. Um, I love to go to the movies. I love to, I like to surf. When I lived in Florida, I would go do that. Um, and I've gone in California a couple times. And so anything outside, anything active. Um, I love to lift, I love to work out for fun now. Um and yeah, like truly anything. Like I'm a yes man to anything outdoors.

World Series, Coaching, And Loss

SPEAKER_02

That's awesome. An Indiana girl out there surfing.

SPEAKER_01

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_02

Uh what uh Mila asks, what was your approach pre-game?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we spent a lot of time, um, as you guys will too, when you guys get to college, like scouting our opponents. That was another thing that was kind of foreign to me coming from high school is actually taking the time to sit down and understand our opponents. Um, I never did it in high school. And I feel like in travel ball, there's really no need because you're playing a different team every day, every game. Um, but understanding, and even on my own time, taking the time at home to watch the video too, but understanding, hey, what's this pitcher's windup look like? What's her rhythm like? What's her tendencies? What her, what's her favorite pitch to throw, what's her weakest pitch to throw? Same thing on the defensive side. Is this hitter a pull hitter or do they spray the field? Just kind of like picking up on little things or little habits. Like, do they always roll over on this inside drop ball? Um, and just kind of setting myself up to be successful. I was lucky because at Alabama we did that as a team and they were like really thorough with it and did a really good job of preparing us. Um, but also outside of actual softball, sleeping well the night before the game, recovering the day before the game, making sure that I was eating enough protein and that I was hydrated, that was a huge one because playing in the South, like insane, it's not like Indiana. Um, and so just again making sure that I'm taking care of my body and feeling myself properly. So I'm able to be the best when I go out and play the next day.

SPEAKER_02

What other questions you guys got? Those are all really good questions, by the way. Those are Yeah, they usually they usually ask great questions. Um what uh how did you end up at third base? Like why what why is that your position?

SPEAKER_01

Um, so I was a shortstop my whole life, um, growing up, literally until I got to college. And then when I got to college, there was a senior shortstop. Um, and I was hitting the ball well. And so they're like, You're gonna if you're hitting, you're gonna find a spot in the field. And I feel like that's typically like how it goes. If you're producing at the plate, um you got to score runs to win. And so they're like, Can you play anywhere else? And I'm like, I'm willing to try. I don't know. Like, I had literally only played shortstop and catcher growing up. Um, and so they stuck me at third base, and I ended up liking it more. They tried to put me back at shortstop my junior year, and I was like, no, thank you. Like, I would rather be back. Um, and so yeah, I got switched because I had someone ahead of me, and then I ended up falling in love with it.

SPEAKER_02

You just really, really like like staring death in the face every time.

SPEAKER_01

And I I think it's more I don't like to think. Like, I think I would rather just like um but I did when I was at Alabama when I first got there, I played we would always shift. So in practice, every infielder played every infield position at some point. Um, and so in like fall and like preseason type stuff, I did play like second base a little bit. I played shortstop when I my first year at Bama, um, first base a little bit. Like you played every position, and not that that was what you were going to do in a game, but he was like, the more versatile you are, the better for everybody. Um, and so we all just learned to kind of work as a unit in that way too.

Grief, Ministry, And Finding Joy Again

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think that's that's something something that people often underestimate, like especially at the higher levels. The higher level you go, like you said, you want to get on the field, you better have more than one position that you're ready to get on the field with. Yeah. So the the more versatile you can be. Um, we had a coach recently that talked about, you know, just being an all-around athlete, even. So not even just having softball skills, but having other athletic skills is also really, really valuable at the higher levels. Yeah, that's great. Third base, man. So that's a scary position. But fun. It is. It takes the brain out for sure. All it is is reaction, it's just reaction time. One step each side. That's what you gotta, that's what you gotta field. Literally. Literally. That's crazy. All right, last chance, girls. You got any more questions? And then I'm gonna ask our final question that we ask everybody. Any final questions? Ice cream flavors. That's a good one. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?

SPEAKER_01

I love a peanut butter sundae, which is like kind of random, but I actually just this is such a side tangent, but I just got a ninja creamy. Do y'all know what that is? You can like mix your own. And so I for the first time today, I made it right before this call, and it was like a strawberry, raspberry type of thing with protein in it. And it was delicious. Like, I usually don't like fruit ice cream, but it's good.

SPEAKER_02

I was gonna say to me, ice cream, fruit and ice cream, I much prefer chocolate or peanut butter or caramel.

SPEAKER_01

That's how I am too.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but I would probably eat just about any ice cream handed to me.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's a really Adeline.

SPEAKER_02

What was the difference between seeing the game through a coach's eyes rather than a player's? Oh, this is a deep one. What was the biggest difference? The jump.

SPEAKER_01

Um I think I don't I don't mean to keep using the same analogy, but I think the mountains to molehills thing I was talking about, like what I saw as mountains as a player were the molehills that I saw as a coach. And so, like as a player, like I boot a ground ball at practice. I'm like freaking out, like, wow, they're gonna think I'm terrible, they're not gonna play me, like I just lost my spot, and like telling myself all these lies. But then, like, as a coach, someone boots a ground ball, and like I didn't even think twice about it. Like, you want another rep, like, take another rep. Like, it really wasn't like I didn't remember and like keep track of any of the errors that people made in practice. Now, if there's something we need to fix, and like that's a different story, but that's still not like that's still not someone like trying to like knock you as a player, like that's like, hey, like I want you to get better. Um, but I would say from the failure side, like I just saw failure as this like huge thing um as a player and something to fear versus like as a coach, you see someone fail and you want to help them, like you want to teach them to get better, you want to like help them grow from it. Um, and that was something I did not understand as a player, and that was something that I tried to run from. Um, and ultimately it ate me alive until I finally came to terms with like this isn't what this is supposed to be. Um, and so that's probably my best answer to that question is just that it's not as big, things aren't as big, and failure is not as big as I thought it was as a player. Um, looking at it from the coach's side.

Q&A: Mistakes, Mindset, And Recovery

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that that is a super, super valuable perspective shift of this idea of like my coaches aren't what waiting for me to fail so they can tally it up, right? They're wanting you to succeed and they're wanting you to push you to succeed. I think that for me, it's kind of connected to that. The biggest shift that I saw or biggest thing I didn't really realize when I went from playing to coaching was um that the more you're being coached, the harder you're being coached, the more that coach believes in you. Because you don't waste your time and energy like coaching up a player that you don't if you if you literally don't think they can do it, and there are players that you can see the different levels that they're capable of. If you really don't believe that they're capable of that higher level, you just don't spend as much time or energy. But if you really believe in a player, they're gonna get the most coach. And I think, and sometimes as a player, you can take that and like, why are they always picking on me? Why are they always pointing me out? Why are they always why won't they ever let me black off? And uh the reason is because they believe in you and because they they they see that in you. And I think that was the I didn't really realize that until I was on to the other side of coaching. Yeah, so yeah, it's really interesting that switchover. Okay, last question that we ask everybody is if you could go back in time, I don't know if you want to go back to high school, Ashley, or bottleball Ashley or whatever, Ashley, and um tell yourself something. What would you what would you say to yourself, to young Ashley?

SPEAKER_01

That's a really deep question.

SPEAKER_02

Um like made my eyes water.

SPEAKER_01

Dang.

SPEAKER_02

I would say when I first got asked this question, I I I got a little choked up as well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, dang. Um I don't know. Like, I guess I would tell her that it's all worth it. Um, and even though, like, yes, there are good and there are bad days, like in the long run, there's way more good than bad. Um, and like it goes so fast. Like, I remember getting done with the vibe and like, wow, I've done this for at that time 17, 18 years. I don't even know if that's the right math. But I'm like, I've literally done this my whole life. Like, I'm ready to walk away from it. Um, and then now that I'm two years from that point of like retiring, um, I would do anything in the world to be able to put a jersey on one more time and go 0 for four in a game and make three years. Like I would literally go into a game and not produce it all if it meant that I got to step on the field one more time as a player. Um and thank the Lord that I do have that opportunity now. But um, I just wish I would have not made those failure moments so big and wish that I would have appreciated just being able to play the game because it does go fast. Um, and it could be taken in an instant. Um, and tomorrow's never promised. And so I just wish that I would have told her to take a breath and that you're okay and to breathe and just literally enjoy it. Um, because it really can bring you the most joy if you let it. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you. Thank you so much, Ashley, for coming and sharing your thoughts and your story with us. Um, we really, really appreciate you taking the time out to do that for us. Um, and we wish you all the best in your upcoming season.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

Contributor

Amanda Schaefer

Host