128: The Mindset Required to Compete at the Elite Level with Jenna Lilley

We are diving into the archives today and going back to 2020 with Jenna (Lilley) Weisberg, a retired professional softball player. She is an alum for the University of Oregon and Team USA. Jenna opens up about the mindset required to compete at the elite level, and shares her honest insights about overcoming adversity.

Episode Highlights:

• Day in the life of a D1 softball player
• Importance of teammates and team culture
• Overcoming injuries and mental health struggles
• Practical recruiting advice for young athletes
• How writing down your goals can impact long-term success
• The importance of playing with passion and energy

Connect with Jenna:

IG: @jennakate00

More ways to work with Fearless Warrior

• Learn about our proven Mental Skills Program, The Fearless Warrior Program
• Book a One on One Session for your Athlete
• Book a Mental Skills Workshop for your Team or Organization

Follow us on Social Media

• Facebook @fearlesswarriors.org
• Instagram @fearlesswarrior
• Instagram @fearless.coach.ab
• X @CoachAB_
• YouTube @fearlesswarriorcoaching
  
  
  

Transcript

AB 0:38

Jenna is with us tonight, and Jenna played for the University of Oregon and played on the USA softball team and also played in the NFP for, I don't wanna mess this up, Chicago Bandits. I messed it up.

Jenna 0:56

Chicago Bandits and the NPF.

AB 0:58

Okay, perfect. So with that, I will pass off the mic and they kind of know a little bit about guest speakers in general and what they have in mind to ask you on anything from your career to mental skills to advice that you have for them. So with that, kind of give us your, your version of your bio and you know, how you kind of got started.

Jenna 1:23

All right, so I grew up in Canton, Ohio. I was the youngest of four kids in my family, and all three of my siblings played softball. I had two sisters who played softball, and then a brother who played baseball, and they all played at the division one level too. So. And they're much older than me. So when I was growing up, it was kind of just our family thing and what I got into right away. I grew up going to the ballpark all the time. There's photos of me in diapers at the fields. I pretty much grew up there with a strong family influence. So I started softball because of my family. I played some other sports growing up. I played soccer up until my freshman year of high school. And then I started getting recruited when I was a freshman in high school. And I always had this goal in the back of my head to play softball in the Pac 12. So my whole entire life, it was kind of always there. And I had written it down. I had made some dream schools along the way. But ultimately I knew I wanted to go far away from home and I wanted to see a new place. And so playing softball in the pack was my goal. So. Around the time I was getting recruited, Oregon came around and I got really lucky. And it was just a really great fit. And I went out there they saw me play in Chicago and then. I went out there and visited and it was a great fit and I played there from 2015 to 2018, so I was able to go to three World Series. You guys watch the World Series every May, June. Yeah. Good. And we won three conference championships and. Those were the, so far I hope I continue to have great years, but those were some of the best four years of my life. The winning was great, but I have 20 best friends that I actually, we still have our group chat from our team two years ago. So we're still, we, we talk in it every single day. That's kind of how close we were and how strong of a connection we had. And really they made softball fun. Softball itself is fun and I admire the sport, but it's way more fun when you're doing it with people that you care about and people that make it even more fun to be around. So that is my favorite part. I got to play for great coaches, so I'm very fortunate. And I had a great experience. And then I also, during the summers I got to play for team USA. So my freshman year, 2015, I played for the junior national team. I was selected to the women's national team. My sophomore year. I couldn't play because of injury and then. I made the team my junior year and then I made the blue team. There were two teams that year, red and a blue team, so I made the second team my senior year. So that was again, a lot of great experiences too. I got to travel the world. I've been to Japan a couple times, the Dominican, Mexico, New Zealand playing softball. So this sport, I'm really fortunate. It's taken me literally all over the world. Anytime. I guess out of like the seven countries I've been to, six have been because of softball. So I'm really fortunate and all around the country to almost, almost every state. So I'm really fortunate that the game has allowed me to travel so much and get to know the world and experience the world and yeah. And then off the softball field, I studied sociology and psychology. And I'm not really quite sure what I wanna do yet, what route I wanna take, but. Yeah, I'm back at home living in Ohio. And here I am tonight. That's my intro. Okay.

AB 5:14

That was perfect. I would love to know more and I have some questions in my head, but I'm sure that that brought up so many thoughts of recruiting and you know, team USA and traveling and all of that. I know that you guys have big goals too, so what questions do you have for Jenna that you're dying to know that if you had a chance to ask?.

Warrior 6 5:36

Did you feel nervous when you were traveling a lot,

Jenna 5:41

like just going to different countries?

Warrior 6 5:43

Yeah.

Jenna 5:44

No, not really. The flight to Japan was long'cause it was over 12 hours from la. But I never really felt nervous. There were times when. Maybe it wasn't as comfortable because it's not what you're used to. So when we played in the Dominican Republic, we didn't play at a resort. So most of what we see here in the US of Dominican Republic is the fancy resorts on the beach. So we weren't there, we were in the heart of the Dominican. So it was really cool on one hand that we got to experience the culture, but on another hand, we couldn't really leave the hotel. So we just stayed at the hotel and we went to our softball field. So I guess not really nervous, but it's just a different experience. It may be outside of what you're used to, but nonetheless, each experience you have is really valuable. So I wouldn't say ever really nervous, just things that are outside of your comfort zone, which are really good for all of us.

Warrior 6 6:37

Thank you.

Jenna 6:38

You're welcome.

AB 6:40

Who did you look up to,

Jenna 6:43

Growing up? So I was really fortunate for the Pro league. There was a team in my backyard, so in Akron, Ohio, there's a team called the Akron Racers, and they were around from 90 19 98. Until 2017. So I grew up having a professional softball team in my backyard, literally 15 minutes away from my house. And there were only, they've kind of varied throughout the years, but nonetheless, one of five locations in the United States. And I had a pro softball team in my backyard. So I was really fortunate. I got to watch all Americans Olympians play 15 minutes away from my house. All the time, every summer, all summer long. So I got to watch a lot of great players from college come and play in the Pro League. But one of my favorites, she is, when were you guys born? Like 2005 four. Around then.

AB 7:41

2000

Jenna 7:41

7, 2 6. Oh my goodness. Okay. So my favorite player, she's long before you were born, but she played her name is Jackie. Pascarella and she played in the pro league and she played for the team out of Akron. And I envied Jackie. I love the way that she played and she played with a lot of passion and a lot of energy. And she was exciting to watch. And I watched her and I said, I wanna be just like her. She plays third base. I wanna, I do play third base. And she's a lefty hitter. She can do a little slap and butt. I, I watched her play and I fell in love with how she played the game. And so she was my biggest role model and I would say one of the most impactful people in my career. But I also got the opportunity to then do lessons with her. So she gave me lessons for a couple years while she was playing here in the summers, and I got to know her and we still keep in touch. Gosh, that's hard to believe 10 years later. But. Yeah, just watching and emulating her and I just fell in love with the way she played the game.

AB 8:46

Thank

Jenna 8:47

you. You're welcome.

8:49

I was just wondering if, since you traveled so much, if you learned any other languages.

Jenna 8:55

Oh no, I wish. That would be really cool. I I took, I guess Spanish for a couple years in high school, but no, I didn't learn any other languages, but I wish, I did know. It'd be cool to know Japanese or more fluent in one thing, but unfortunately no.

AB 9:12

Just remember the order and then you guys can unmute yourself. So go ahead, right? Or Reagan or Tatum. Is it? Tatum? Go for it. Tatum. And then Reagan,

Warrior 4 9:21

who was your biggest supporter while growing up?

Jenna 9:24

My biggest supporter. I would have to say my mom she was with me through it all and I wouldn't have had the opportunities I did have if it wasn't for her. And that's likely someone in your life, whether it's your mom, dad, aunt, uncle, guardian, whoever takes care of you, someone is making all this happen. Unless you're riding your bike to all of your tournaments. But no, for me, that was my mom and she she took me everywhere and she sacrificed a lot for me to have the opportunities that I did have. And I'm very thankful for her. And she came to so many of my college games, even though we lived 2000 miles away. But she did her best to get me everywhere and give me the chance to be able to pursue the opportunities that I got. So. For me, that's my mom. And I feel like I had something to add to that, but I can't remember. But yeah, my biggest supporter was my mom. Oh, I do have something to add. So off of that, I, my club team was out of Chicago. I played for a team called the Beverly Bandits, and so I played for them freshman through my senior year of high school. So I want you guys to picture this. Every August, September, October, every single weekend, my mom and I would drive to Chicago, which is six hours, six and a half hours from my house, and I would practice with my club team, and then again in January and February, then we'd have our high school season, and then all summer long we would be traveling. If it wasn't to Chicago, it would be to California or Colorado or wherever our summer tournaments were. So. I wouldn't have been able to play on that team if it wasn't for my mom. Not just driving me there, but helping pay for it and providing me with those opportunities. So again, she did a lot and yeah.

Warrior 2 11:21

So when you're playing softball what does your, like daily routine look like?

Jenna 11:27

Well, I am no longer a active softball player, but I'll go through kind of what a college day looked like. So we'll do a practice day. We would wake up every day we had morning weights or conditioning, so six ams Monday through Friday. So we'd get up around five 30 ish. We'd have wait six to seven as a team, and then we would all eat breakfast together at training tables. And then we'd have class, normally you'd have two classes a day, maybe eight to 9 30, 10 to 12. And then you'd grab a quick bite, eat for lunch, and then before you knew it, it was practice from one to four in the afternoon, and then any extra work you wanted to get in in, before or after that you got in. And then you either had tutoring for a couple hours or you did homework for a couple hours. And before you know it, it's eight o'clock. You need to eat dinner and go to bed and then do the same thing over again. So. That is a typical day for our our student athletes when I was there at Oregon. So really, really, really crazy busy and it sounds like a lot and it certainly is a lot and it takes a lot of effort and discipline and determination to not just be a good softball player, but also to be a good student. And being a good student obviously comes before softball, so a lot of discipline. But there was also a lot of fun in there too, getting to spend the weekends with your teammates and we'd go do hiking and exploring in Oregon. It was really fun. But yeah. And then in season it's kind of a general, what your day looks like, but in season for the first six weeks of season in preseason. We would travel every Wednesday through Sunday. So we'd be in town for two days. You gotta get caught up on homework, get your feet on the ground to your laundry, and then before you know it, you're gone again Wednesday through Sunday. And then you get home on Sunday night. Monday, Tuesday you're in Eugene. Gotta get on the road again on Wednesday. So, in season. I don't know what's crazier in season or off season, but yeah, it's really busy and it takes a lot, but it is so worth it every single second. And I, I guess I've learned, I guess this is probably an official saying somewhere, but. You get out of things, what you put into them. So being a division one softball player, you're gonna put so much effort in, and it's gonna be hard. It's not gonna be easy at all, but it's so worth it. And every single second and every single memory that you make it's so worth it.

Warrior 4 13:57

What has been your biggest obstacle as a player?

Jenna 14:02

Biggest obstacle would be probably injuries. So I got hit by pitch in the face'cause I wasn't wearing a mask on my batting helmet, and so I had 10 fractures along my sinus bone in my nose. I had a concussion. I had damaged and shipped teeth. So this ball hit me square in the face. I was going to bun. I'm a lefty, so I was drag bunting, my chest was open and a rise ball kept on coming up and then hit me directly in the face. So. That was really tough and it impacted me in a lot of ways beyond what I really knew at the time. I was scared of any high pitches for a, a lot longer, a long time, I would say for the next year and a half, but wasn't really fully aware that I was, but I was very jumpy and I wasn't as comfortable in the box. So that's definitely a big one. I also really struggled with depression in college, and that's another one that you really can't see. It's not like a shoulder surgery or a, I don't know, a broken foot. You can't see something like a mental health struggle. So that's something I had to work through a lot of college and getting hit in the face certainly didn't help. But I would say that was my biggest obstacle is overcoming that and having to work through that and really lean on the people around me and get the help I need and have my coaches there with me every step of the way. But I would say overcoming mental health struggles was my biggest one. I also did have another surgery too. I had a hip surgery a year ago, so kind of going off of that, my whole senior year, I played with a pretty beat up hip. My back hip and my swing. So for me, it was my left hip. It was my labrum was torn and I had really pretty serious structural damages. And so kind of mentally being able to push through that, it was really, really challenging. There were points during the season where I couldn't lift my leg off the ground more than two inches using my hip alone. But then showing up and. Just giving what I could because I knew that my team needed me. They needed a hurt, how do I say this? It was better that I was on the field and maybe just 70% Jenna rather than not that someone couldn't have filled in, but. I needed to be on the field. My team needed me, so I needed to do everything I could mentally to overcome my physical struggles. And that was hard. That was a really tough grind. Mentally showing up when you don't feel good, when you can't sit, stand, or walk for more than five minutes without being in a lot of pain. And let alone in the softball part of that, but mentally not letting that. Bring my season down. It would've been really easy for me to be like, oh, my hip hurts. This is it. I'm gonna have a bad year. I refuse to let that happen, one for myself.'cause I wanted to be the best version of myself that I could be, but importantly for my team, because they needed the best version of me out there. So whatever it took for me to give them that, I wanted to give them that. And so I just made a promise to myself. It was hurting got really bad right before season, and I made a promise to myself that I was not gonna let that get in the way because 10 years from now I would rather have pushed through that pain even though it was really tough than say, oh, I babied it and I had a, eh, okay. Season. I wasn't fully there for my team. So that pain I experienced then is far less. From the pain I'd experienced 10 years from now looking back, if I hadn't given it everything I could. So long answer. Kind of a little popcorn talk on my part, but injuries nonetheless, physical and mental. So

Warrior 4 17:53

I have one more. What is the greatest quality you have to make you a great player and standout as a player?

Jenna 18:01

You guys are asking great questions. I love it. Good stuff. So there's gonna be a lot of people, all you guys that are similar level of softball skill there's gonna be a lot of people who are around the same level, but it's the intangibles that you bring to the table that's gonna make you stand out. So there are a lot of good pitchers out there, a lot of good hitters, a lot of good fielders. But what are you doing to make yourself stand out from everyone else who might be similar skill level to you? So for me that was playing with passion and energy. I wanted people, when they came to the field, I wanted them to remember me. Whether I went oh, for four or four for four and made a bunch of diving plays. I wanted them to remember me for how I played the game. So that was being super engaged with my defense and always talking and jumping around and always talking, jumping around, and really playing with emotion and passion. Like I, I love the game and I really wanted to be there and I was 100% present. I wanted people to remember that and when they walk away, I wanted the them to think, oh, she was really fun to watch. So I would say just bringing the intangibles. So I guess if you were to put that in a trait, I didn't really know what trait, but I think one thing that separated me was just playing with passion and energy, because those are things you can always control. You can't control if you go oh 4, 4 4, 4, 4, but you can control how you play the game, how you carry yourself and. Just the passion and energy that you play with.

AB 19:42

Great questions you guys. These are really good.

Warrior 8 19:45

So in like the recruiting process, how would you like, recommend people get noticed by college coaches?

Jenna 19:56

So a lot of what I just talked about. Is just playing with those intangibles and really separating yourself.'cause again, there's gonna be a lot of people who might be similar skill level in some way to you, but using those intangible, using your intangibles and just separating yourself in that way. But also your academics are gonna separate you. I, most people just see me and they think, oh, full athletic scholarship I was on 20% was 20, 20% academic scholarship. So my grade, there might have been someone similar skill level to me, but I had close, what did I have? I had over a 4.0 in high school, so they chose me. I don't know that for a fact if there was actually someone similar to me, but just saying that can be a difference maker for you and how you fit into a program. So that's another big one in the classroom, again, if there's two players, similar skill level, someone has a 3.5. As opposed to a 2.5, they're gonna take the 3.5 player. So that, and then did you also mean just kind of like reaching out to them and sending them videos?

Warrior 8 21:01

Yeah.

Jenna 21:02

Okay. So for that what our coaches recommend was making your videos really concise and no longer than 45 seconds under a minute, they're gonna see what they need to see in under a minute. And make sure your work is as not professional, but make sure it is easy to see and it's decent quality. And just a little bit of each thing. They don't need to see 50 swings'cause they know your swing after two or three, they know your mechanics after two or three. If you're putting in at bat in there. Do not include the, a minute in between or 30 seconds in between each pitch. Cut it, make it concise because they don't have a lot of time and they get. 50 emails each day of videos of players to watch. So make it really concise, A little bit of skill working offensively and defensively. Maybe some live footage if you have that. But also with that, again, like I said, they, they don't have a lot of time. If you're putting it on a website, make sure it's not one where they have to go. Make a username and password, make sure it's something that they can click on it and watch it within seconds. Because if they have to make a username and password, honestly, a lot of them are probably not gonna go through that because again, they have 49 more emails of video to look at. So just make it easy for them in that regard. And I would say. Making a list of dream schools and as you get older, the more realistic dream schools for you. And if possible, get out to their camps as much as you can. And I don't really know, I'm not familiar with the current recruiting rules and laws. So I don't really know how that works now, but generally speaking, getting out to camps being on campus one, do you like the campus? That's so important for you to know. Do you like the school? Do they have what you might wanna study? Because if you wanna go into certain program but the school doesn't have it, then you probably shouldn't be playing softball there. So. Getting a feel for them in that way. And if you go out to their camp, obviously it shows you're really, really interested in them and their program. And again, as much as feasible, hey, we don't all have endless amounts of money to be flying all over to whatever college camps we would like to go to, so within reason. But yeah, I think that's all I got for you. I hope that helps.

Warrior 8 23:18

Thank you.

Warrior 2 23:20

So when you are in like tough times, what is your like number one mental strategy that you use?

Jenna 23:29

You mean like with softball?

Warrior 2 23:32

Yeah.

Jenna 23:33

Or Okay with softball. Well. I like to lean on my teammates a lot. I'm lucky because I I had some, I told you guys earlier, I had some really special teammates, especially in college. And if I was down, I knew I could go to them, whether I needed a hug or an honest conversation. And it's, it's really nice to hear from your teammates rather than just your coaches all the time. So I enjoyed. Talking to them and they would help me talk through things or just help me see something I wasn't seeing. But using my teammates to lean on and yeah, just being vulnerable to them. And that really brought up, made, made us really close. And in tough times I knew I could always lean on them. So definitely that. And also just I keep a softball journal, so going back, and looking at maybe some earlier entries and things I wrote down and things that I knew were really beneficial for me and things that weren't. So just being I guess mindful of that. And I think writing things down helps a lot. Journaling helps a lot, whether it's softball or not, I think journaling can be really beneficial.

AB 24:43

You guys are doing so good on asking questions. I've totally lost track of time. It, we are 30 minutes in, so if you guys have any other questions, just about anything in general now would be a really good time to ask Jenna. You've been killing it, Jenna, this has been really, really awesome.

Jenna 24:59

Thanks. Thanks for having me.

AB 25:02

Is there anything that you would wanna talk about just as far as advice that you would give to these girls or any aha moments that you've had throughout your career?

Jenna 25:11

Yeah, there is. So let me think here. I had one of these, what would I tell myself when I was their age? But I'm, I'll start somewhere. I'll start here. Write down your goals. Write'em down. Long term, short term, I found this document that I made. I went to like this strength coach or something when I was like 11 or 12, and they had us write down our long term and short term and long term goals. My short term goal goals were to have in, in my exact words as a 12-year-old, have abs without flexing. My long-term goal was to one, play softball in the Pac 12 and two play on the USA national team. So I like sharing that story because I did both of those things. I'm still working on the short term goal. But my long-term goals and what I'm talking to you guys about, I accomplish those things. And it's something that I'm really proud of. Because growing up I was really, really small and I was geographically disadvantaged. So I'm the first player to ever play softball in the Pac 12 from the state of Ohio. It had never been done before. And that's another thing I'm really proud of, but one being really small and oversized by a lot of other players. And being from the state of Ohio, I had a lot of disadvantages and a lot of people told me that I wouldn't be able to play out there or play at that level. And it's funny, actually, my college coach, he was at another school when I was getting recruited and he told someone she's too small to play at that level. And it's funny, he tells me that and we laugh about it now. But anyhow, moral of the story is I, I wrote my goals down and I worship these goals almost every single day in my life for. The next six, seven years, well, I guess into college too with USA, but I wrote down my goals and I was stubborn about chasing my dreams and yeah, I think writing things down helps tremendously. Even now, like day to day, like with me not really doing much on during the quarantine right now, I literally have to write down, organize my clothes, walk my dog, okay? But the thought of like crossing something off for me, that helps me accomplish things, whether it's on a day-to-day and it's the smallest tasks or long-term goals. So I challenge you guys to, after we all hang up, I want you guys to think about your long-term goals. Okay. Maybe two or three big ones. And I want you to write'em down somewhere while you're, where you will see them all the time. Okay? So write those two to three goals down and then I want you to write on another sheet of paper or wherever. How are you gonna accomplish those goals? Are you going to, so for me, it would've been okay, play softball in the Pac 12. Make the USA national team, okay, underneath them. Maybe I would've put practice softball five times a week. Okay. Do some sort of running. And you guys are young, so this is gonna evolve throughout the years, but maybe do some sort of running and strength workout three times a week. Or another thing that's really important is to play other sports too. That's just a side topic. But anyhow, so making your sub goals within your big goals, okay? You got your big goals up here, but what are you gonna do to accomplish that? Are you gonna take 50 swings off the tee each day? Are you gonna do your long toss throwing progression? What are you doing every single day to make those big picture goals happen? Okay? Because one day before you all know it, you're gonna be 18 and going to college. Hey, and maybe your career is, hopefully it's not over yet. Hopefully you're gonna be playing in college if that's the route you wanna go. And then after that you're gonna be 23 and you're gonna look back and you're gonna be like, whoa, where did the time go? Once I was you guys, I can remember when I was you guys. And so what are you gonna do to make those dreams happen? It's all up to you. It's totally up to you. You don't have to have the fancy facilities in the fancy lessons. Hey, it's nice to have those things. It's lovely to have fancy lessons in facilities, but. Really, you can do most of what you need to do. Almost everything of what you need to do, just with a ball on a wall, maybe go to a field. You can make it all happen with very little resources. So I challenge you guys, hey, find a way, not an excuse to make what you, to make your dreams happen, okay? Because when you're at home, maybe right now during the quarantine, hey, and you're thinking, well, can't get to the field today. I don't have. I don't really know what else you need at the field besides what you need at home, but you have, if you have a net at home, okay, take some swings off the team to the net. Okay? If you have a tennis ball, give yourself some ground balls off the wall. You don't need, you don't even need anyone to practice with. Okay? Run some sprints in your front yard.'cause when you're not doing those things, somebody else out there. Okay. So challenge yourself, push yourself. Okay? But you're competing against you and you only to be the best version of yourself. Okay? And your dreams are up to you to make them happen. So that is, I don't even know where I started with that, but Oh yeah. Writing down goals. So write down your goals. And it's like psychologically proven that you're more likely to accomplish things if you write them down. I don't know the exact science behind it, but I know it's true. But, yeah, so I would say that, and also just that softball is just one part of your life and. In the grand scheme of things, it's probably for most of us, gonna be one small part of our life. So, well, I guess I played softball for 20 years. That's kind of a big part, but what I'm getting at is that there's so much more to you and you have so many other sports to play, so don't forget to have fun with your friends and do all that. I, one regret I do have, and this is, I don't like to say the word regret, but I really wish I would've played soccer all through high school. So I guess if I had more advice, play more sports for as long as you can, and just make the most of, every moment with your teammates, whether you like them or not. You can always learn something. Okay. There were teammates I had along the way who weren't my favorite, but I could learn something from them in some small way, shape, or form. But I hope that you guys get to have great teammates and you make everything count with them because they're what makes the game fun. I really appreciated the sport for itself growing up. But when things get hard, especially in college, and, and your softball consumes like five hours a day of your life every single day, it's gonna be hard and you're not always going to. Want to go play five hours of softball every day. But having people that made you wanna be or having people to lean on, they made you wanna be there even more. And that's what makes the sport meaningful is we have, well, depends how big your team is, but we have, I had 18 other teammates to my right and to my left that made the sport way more meaningful than it already was. So, yeah.

AB 32:35

That is some really good advice. I am going to transcribe all of this and write this down. There's so many tweetables and so many quotes, so many good nuggets. We are going to wrap it up and I, Jenna will let you know that we are so thankful for your time and for you just being open and honest with us. This has been one of the best guest speakers we've ever had. And I will recap and, and be in touch.

Jenna 33:02

Cool. Thanks for having me. Thanks for setting this up for them. This. Awesome. Bye guys.