133: How the Mental Game Got Taryn Kern Her AUSL Golden Ticket

We are pulling this one from the archives because Taryn Kern just received her AUSL Golden Ticket! In this original interview, she opened up about the mental game that made it all possible and what she was still learning. We can't wait to watch her get drafted live on ESPN2 on May 4!


Episode Highlights:

• How she navigated the recruiting process during COVID without ever visiting the school
• What it felt like as a freshman and immediately need to lead and perform at a Big Ten powerhouse
• The breathing routine she uses every single at bat to slow the game down
• How she stopped letting record chases and external pressure get into her head
• Why she started letting a bad game ruin her whole day and what she did to stop
• What coaches are actually looking for beyond skill level at every level of the game
• The mental tools she used in softball that started showing up in every other area of her life
  
  

Connect with Taryn:

IG: @tarynkernn

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Transcript

0:38

Hey, fearless listeners, coach Care here. We are so excited to see that one of our former mentorship speakers, Taryn Kern, recently got her golden ticket for the A USL draft. We thought it'd be fun to revisit this conversation I had with her back in 2023 when she was coming off of record setting freshman year. We hope you enjoyed this conversation and watch for Taryn to continue to do great things this summer in the A USL.

Speaker 2 1:00

Alright. Hello, ladies. Hi, girls. Good evening I am Coach Kara, I'm excited to be here with you guys tonight and get to, um, listen to our awesome guest speaker who came to speak. Um, so we are going to hear tonight from Taryn Kern and she, um, she was a just finished up her freshman year at Indiana University. She had a. All the stats tell that she had just one of the best years that you could ever imagine as a freshman. She was named the Big Ten Player of the Year, as well as Big Ten Freshman of the Year. Um, she broke three single season records at Indiana for home runs, RBIs, and runs scored, um, in her freshman year. So that's a big deal that she was able to do all that. And she helped lead, um, Indiana to one of their best seasons. history, according to, you know, a lot of the websites. So, um, and I actually, I decided that I wanted Taryn to come speak to you ladies tonight because when I was watching her team play in the run up to the World Series, um, one of the times when she came up to the plate the announcers could not stop talking about how when they had spoken to Taryn before that she had told them how important her mental game was to her success and how vital it was that she had these methods were. We could not have anyone better. To come talk to you tonight about her experiences. So I'm gonna go ahead and turn it over to Taryn to, to introduce yourself and, and get, get going.

Speaker 4 2:32

Yeah. Thank you. Well, as she said, I'm Taryn. Um, I'm 19 years old, almost 20, and I played at Indiana last year and I'm from San Jose, California, which I'm not sure where you guys are all from, but that's near like San Francisco area. Um, this year I'm actually transferring to Stanford to play there for my next three years. But yeah, I just wanted to come on here talk a little bit about my journey as a player I've been playing for a long time since I was like Five or six years old. And just like you guys, I'm sure I grew up, you know, hitting with my dad. We have a cage in our backyard. Um, and the biggest thing that I took away from this past year really was just, yeah, like how much the mental game can impact you and impact your success on the fields. Um, because if you think about it, you know, when you're hitting, like you really don't need to have a good swing to get a hit. You don't need, you know, to hit it that hard. It just. is really about chance. So just always believing in yourself, um, and being able to bounce back, you know, you don't get a hit one at bat, being able to come up the next at bat and have the same mindset and the same approach. Right. But yeah, I just, I'm excited to talk to you guys and, um, answer some questions.

Speaker 2 3:53

All right. So why don't you, why don't you kind of give us your, your, your background in the game? Like you said, you started playing young, how young were you when you started playing? And what positions have you played and where did you

Speaker 4 4:02

play at? So I, um, I mostly, I pitched when I was younger, but I'm an infielder now. And, yeah, I grew up playing. I was about five or six when I started. Um, I played at Archbishop Midy High School, where Hana played. And, um, Yeah, I was an infielder at Indiana, and I will be at Stanford also.

Speaker 2 4:27

That's awesome. All right, um, you were, you were talking to me a little bit about your unique, uh, experience getting recruited and how that all went. It was a little bit different than most people maybe in their process. So can you kind of walk us through like that part of your story and how it impacted you?

Speaker 4 4:44

Yeah. Well, when I went to high school, I knew that. I wanted to play in college because I love softball so much. And I wanted to play at the next level. Um, and I'm not sure if you guys know, but your junior year of high school is when you can start talking to coaches and my junior year of high school ended up being 2021, which was during COVID. So basically all of my recruiting happened online. So I was talking to the coaches, like we are on the zoom call, which was pretty crazy. And when I got recruited by Indiana, I never actually went to the school before I committed. Just because of the times which I don't recommend now for you girls, but

Speaker 2 5:24

and so how do you how do you think that impacted? Like you're that whole process for you Like was it what you? Imagined or like how did you deal with maybe the disappointment of not getting to go on like recruiting trips or you know? The things that you probably heard other people go and do

Speaker 4 5:40

No, yeah, it was hard. It was a sad moment because a lot of people look forward to those recruiting trips where you get to visit each school and get a feel for what you're going to get in college. And I didn't get to do that, right? I just had to do all the virtual tours online. So having to do that through Zoom and through websites, um, it was hard, but, you know, COVID affected a lot of things. So just, yeah, mentally being able to just, you know, Know that, you know, at some point I was going to be able to get on the fields and everything was going to work out.

Speaker 2 6:14

That's awesome. Um, what, and then talk about, talk about this last season that you had talked about what it was like to come in as a freshman on a team. And then to, I mean, you led your team in the end. Um, how was that doing that as an underclassmen and what was the experience like? Yeah.

Speaker 4 6:32

Well, coming in as a freshman, you're playing with girls that are a lot older than you. So it is kind of scary at the beginning and you start to ask yourself, These questions like, you know, am I going to be good enough? Am I going to be as good as these older girls? Which everyone asks themselves, right? And that's part of that mental pump that you have to overcome. Um, and just, you know, staying true to yourself and believing in yourself. Because I came in, I had no idea what it was going to be like. And I ended up making a name for myself right on my team. Um, but yeah, just coming in as a younger player and just having to work hard and prove myself. But yeah, it all worked out and you know, the Holy Girls aren't as scary as you think most of the time.

Speaker 2 7:16

Yeah. Um, and then what was, what was playoffs like? What was that experience like of being able to go so deep, make such a deep run when really not many people expected that of your team? What was that like?

Speaker 4 7:26

Definitely. Yeah. Um, it was awesome for our team to make it that far. We hadn't made it to post season in like 20 years, I think. So it was awesome. And that was one of those times. Uh, my freshman year, I really had to learn. How to overcome the external pressure if it came to like the records, you know, when I was like one home run away from beating the record, not being in my thoughts, thinking about, Oh, when am I going to break this home run or record? Am I going to break it? Like. Is it going to be this time? I got to break it now, you know? Um, so just really learning to stay true to myself, regardless if there is a record over here or we're in playoffs and it's on TV, you know, um, wanting my family to see me play good, just to really always stay true to yourself. Um, in those moments is how you grow. What

Speaker 2 8:15

helped you do that? What, how did you, how did you not think about those like records and things? What, what tools did you use to be able to put those things off?

Speaker 4 8:23

Yeah, well, to be honest, at first it really did start to affect me and I was thinking about it. And then that's when I saw myself not playing so good, you know, getting caught up in those things. Um, but I think really just be able to talk to my family about those things and talk them out, um, and use my resources in college, if that was, yeah, family or friends. Or people I trusted to kind of talk about it, and they were able to help me gain some perspective. Like, it's not the end of the world if you don't hit a home run in this game, or next game, or the next game. Things like that.

Speaker 2 8:58

That's great, having those people in your corner that you knew would support you. Yeah, definitely. Um, is there anything else that you wanted to share before we kind of open it up to the girls for whatever questions they have?

Speaker 4 9:13

I would just say that the last thing I want to share just about softball in general is softball is such an awesome sport because it's a safe place where you can fail, but everything's still going to be okay, you know, you can have the worst game ever, and you can still go about your life, and everything's going to be fine, you know, you're still going to be disappointed, but it's just such an awesome place to learn these life lessons, um, and just put yourself out there 100%. Regardless of what ends up happening.

Speaker 2 9:44

Awesome. Cool. Thank you. Um, girls if you have any questions, um, feel free to unmute and ask or if you want to put it in the chat then we can, we can ask Taryn some questions. And doors open, right Taryn? They can ask whatever they want. Yes.

Speaker 4 10:00

Whatever you guys want. It doesn't even have to be about Soppel.

Speaker 2 10:03

Yeah. Bonus points if it's not about softball. Yeah, bonus points. You guys have to have questions about the Zoom recruiting, man. That's such a weird process, I'm sure.

Speaker 5 10:14

I

Speaker 10:14

know.

Speaker 2 10:16

Yeah. Isabelle, you got something? What

Speaker 10:18

do you, what helps you like, um, like if you get nervous, what helps you like not be nervous?

Speaker 4 10:26

Yeah, that's a good question. And that's something that even though I play in college, I always get nervous before games. Every single game, I get really nervous. So I actually have a routine, um, before my at bats and I do my routine every time. And in my routine, I take a really big deep breath and it helps me just center myself and focus and just. Yeah. Just like believe in myself. Like I kind of think and I'm just like, and I close my eyes and then I'm like ready. So a big thing for me, like a physical thing, I'd say with just breathing, whenever you get nervous, just taking big, long, deep breaths and it kind of calms yourself down and slows your heart rate down too. Good question. Thanks. Oh, there's some in the chat. What is your favorite? Oh, that's a good question. I'm so indecisive. So this is really hard for me to pick my favorite food. I love sushi. Thank you. Sushi's one of the favorites, and the other one, I don't know if this counts, but I love ice cream. Ice cream's my favorite too. Okay, where do you live? I live in California, northern California, San Jose. What's your favorite meal to eat before big games? Good question. Again, I have lots of favorite meals. Steak, that sounds really good. I'll have to try that next time. But I actually, I always love, I don't know if you guys have ever had those strawberry refreshers from Starbucks. I used to get one every single time before a game. And that's not like a meal, but I would always come into the clubhouse with my strawberry refresher. And it's like my, like. I'm ready for the game now, after I have my refresher.

Speaker 2 12:17

I have another question for you, So what, what would you say your identity is outside of softball? Like, what are some other things about you outside of softball?

Speaker 4 12:26

Yeah, that's a great question. I think that's something that it's really hard to get lost in sometimes. Like, you spend so much time playing softball, um, And so much time doing extra work practice that, you know, it's hard to find yourself outside of that. And it was hard for me this past year, but it really helped me just hanging out with friends and not talking about softball at all. Even if my other friends played softball, just going to do fun things. I love to travel. Um, I love to bake. Um, yeah, I love talking to my friends on the phone. So just like putting my energy into those other relationships, other relationships in my life, um, was yeah, really good. Do you have

Speaker 2 13:08

other hobbies outside of softball? Do you have time for other hobbies?

Speaker 4 13:11

Yeah, I do like to bake. I love baking cupcakes. Cupcake Wars was my favorite show as a kid, so that was one of my things. Yeah, and like traveling. I'd definitely say like even little road trips.

Speaker 2 13:24

Oh, I think there was another question in the chat.

Speaker 4 13:26

Oh yeah. What helps you stay in routine and remember to do extra drills outside of practice? What got you motivated to do them? And do you play any other sports? Okay, I'll answer the first one first. So, um, this past year, you know, I just, before the whole season started, I made a goal for myself. And my goal was to hit every single day, coming into season. So, after practice, I would just go at night, And if that meant I just went got my ice cream and then I hit, um, I just go do my drills every single day. So that was just something in my head. Like, I just knew I was going to do every day, no matter what happened. Right. But I would say like tips for that. Yeah. Just making a goal for yourself or sitting down, um, at the beginning of the month and saying, okay, my goal this week is I'm going to do softball every Tuesday and Thursday. I'm going to do if that means short hops in your garage or just some teamwork into the bonnet, but just like even writing those things down or putting them on your calendar. Um, because like, even for me, you know, I'll be like, yeah, I'll work out like four times this week. And then by the end of the week, I'm like, shoot, I forgot. So just like writing those things down. Um, and yeah, like making goals for yourself too. And what got me motivated? I'd say like. Just wanting to be the best player I could because softball only lasts so long. Um, do I play any other sports? I don't, but I, I don't competitively, but I do love playing other sports. Like I love playing beach volleyball with my friends. It's my favorite. And I did play soccer growing up, um, all the way into high school, but I had to end up just doing one sport just because it became a lot. Okay. What is your game day routine? Good question. Well, I like to sleep in if possible on game days. I'm not a morning person. So I like to sleep in and then of course on the way to the field I get my strawberry refresher from Starbucks every single time. Um, and yeah, I like to warm up, um, before I go to the game just to get loose. And I also like to spend a little bit of time by myself just like getting prepared, um, and kind of centered and just ready. So I'm not so nervous. Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh, good question. I don't know if you guys have ever been, there's this place called Salt and Straw and they have really funky flavors. Like there's one flavor, it's like olive oil. It's kind of crazy. But my favorite flavor would have to be lavender. It's really good. Good question, though. I love ice cream. Oh, or I have to add Dole Whip, if you guys have ever had that. It's like the pineapple soft, soft serve. My favorite.

Speaker 5 16:21

I have a question. I got it here. Hi, Taryn. Good to see you. Yeah, you too. Um, okay. So obviously, we're all human. So we all make mistakes. We all go through struggles in life. We all have certain obstacles that we face. Um, tell us about I mean, obviously you've talked about like some struggles, um, kind of briefly, or just like things that you've worked through and, um, how have you seen those skills that you used during, you know, those high pressure situations or the sit, the situations where you're like not having a great game and you need to bounce back. Um, how have you noticed those skills in softball transferred to other parts of your life? Like. Maybe you're dealing with, you have conflict with friends or you're having like troubles or like all the other realms of our life outside of softball. How have you seen the mental tools and the skills that you use in softball transfer to your life skills as well?

Speaker 4 17:26

Yeah, totally. Um, I would say the biggest one is like learning how to overcome failure. So I would say that, yeah, that transfers to my life. If that means, you know, I got a really bad grade on the test and I studied really hard and I just got to the test day and I got a terrible night's rest of sleep and I just got there and I just totally got stumped and I got a terrible grade, I'd say. Like learning how to just bounce back from that and be like, you know what, we all make mistakes. We all mess up in life. I prepared really hard and I still didn't get the result I wanted, but this next test I'm going to work even harder and I'm going to bounce back. Um, yeah. Or if that means you mentioned like conflict with friends, that's an interesting one. I'd say like, yeah, just learning how to overcome those issues and kind of face them head on with your friends. Um, if that means just like. Talking about it and getting through it and moving through it. You know, that's a really good skill to learn. Um, being able to confront people and have mature conversations with each other. I'd say that's another one. There's so many things in softball you learn. Um, it also, yeah, it teaches you how to just work hard in general. You know, it doesn't have to be athletically, but if that means work hard in school, work hard in other sports. Um, work hard for your family, doing your chores, things like that.

Speaker 5 18:59

Something else that came up that I was thinking about is like, what about leadership? Like, obviously you're one of the youngest girls and players on the team. Um, a lot of the time we think of leadership as like this big person who, um, it's not all about them, but it's just this big, like leader. And they're all like, they're all talk or they're the ones that are intentionally doing things. Like, what have you learned about leadership? Even as the young, like one of the youngest players as a team and then like again, yeah, definitely that's in the softball realm. But like, have you, what have you learned about yourself too? Outside of softball? Yes, within leadership?

Speaker 4 19:35

Yeah, so leadership is something huge about softball that you learn. Um, I've learned so much about it growing up to now in college. I'd say one thing I learned about the way I like to lead, I like to lead by example. So you know, if that means at practice. Being the hardest worker so that my teammates see that and then they follow. Um, and that works both ways. When I see someone being the hardest worker, and I'm not working so hard, I'm like, Oh, they're doing the drill that way. Like I want to follow. And then everyone kind of ends up following. That's one awesome way to lead. Um, another way is also just connecting with your teammates off the fields. That way. When you're on the field, you have those personal relationships and you say things and they respect what you're saying. So yeah, just making sure to, regardless of what team I'm on, you know, you're not going to be best friends with every single girl on the team. That would be the best possible situation, but I've never had that happen. Um, but just making sure that, you know, you get touches on everybody. And if that is just, you know, a quick, like, Hey, how are you at practice? Or you want to play catch with someone new today. Type of thing, but just making sure that, yeah, you're connecting with everyone on the team, not just one or two girls.

Speaker 2 20:48

Yeah, another question in the, in the chat saying, asking, what's one of the biggest things coaches are looking for in a good softball player? That is a good

Speaker 4 20:57

question. I would say whenever I went to camps, they were always talking about being a good teammate, regardless of your skills. Um, they said that because, you know, you go to a camp and or a game, you only have a few opportunities to do good really in a softball game. So coaches are always looking for. Girls that are good teammates. If you just struck out, it's how you walk back to the dugout and talk to your teammates. Are you rolling your eyes and throwing your bat? Or are you giving everyone high fives as you come in the dugout and cheering on the next girl to pick you up? Those types of things. I'd say like also being a vocal teammate on the field, you know, you're playing the field and your pitchers working her butt off, um, being the loudest one out there, cheering her on the whole time. Um, those are things that regardless of your performance, you can always control and coaches will always notice those things. So, um, Yeah, even if you have a bad day and you're the loudest one on the field and the best teammate, I guarantee that they'll notice those things.

Speaker 2 22:04

I think those are huge. That, that like, upbeat personality, not necessarily like a fake upbeat, but just like someone who's enjoying what they're doing, playing the game. Definitely to be there enjoying their teammates. I think that does go a long way. I think you're right.

Speaker 4 22:19

Yeah. And definitely to like enjoying your teammates, but also being excited for them when they succeed because they're excited for you when you succeed. Right. So it goes both ways. If you get out and the next girl gets on and picks you up, you should be double as excited that she just helps you out. Right. And help the team out. Any other questions?

Speaker 5 22:42

What are you most looking forward to as you're like transferring to a new school? I mean, you're going back home, um, you're going to be at Stanford. So what, like, I guess this is going to be a two part question. What are you most looking forward to? And if you want to share with us, like, do you have any big goals that you are like setting for yourself either this season or like for the rest of your sophomore career too?

Speaker 4 23:06

Yeah. Good questions. Okay, I'm looking forward to most being closer to home. I miss California. Um, and also to just be around like some of the best athletes, you know, in our sport right now, and to be pushed by them. Um, and just like in that environment, because when you're around good players, it just immediately makes you better. Because you always have to keep working harder and harder to. You know, fit in with the team to be good like everybody else. So just to work hard and everyone else around you is working hard. I'm excited for that environment. Um, I'm excited for academically to be at Stanford and to just like, get that amazing education to meet some awesome people, even like outside of softball, just some students, um, and yeah, to be close to home, represent my area, lots of things. And then for the second part Big goals. I haven't sat down and made my goals list yet. I'm actually doing that tomorrow, but um, I would say that You know, it's easy for me personally to look at that is like a lot of pressure. Like I had a really good freshman year. Like now I have to be better. Like everyone's expecting me to be this good again. And like, you know, be up there, lead the nation in home runs, things like that. Um, but just to see that more as like an opportunity, and that's like one of the ways I've grown mentally the most this past season, like to see. Someone once told me that like, pressure is a privilege, because if people didn't think you could do it, there would be no pressure on you. So it's when you're in these moments and everyone's like, she's good enough to do this, can she? So like, looking at pressure in a different way has really helped me. Um, but yeah, I would say I did make a goal. I do want to break the Stanford home run record. It's 21, so I would do want to break that sometime in my career. Thanks girl. How many, how many did you hit this year?

Speaker 2 25:08

23. Oh, nice,

Speaker 4 25:11

but I do the Stanford field is also pretty big, like considerably large for like one of the biggest fields around. So that will make it a little harder. But yeah, just, um, want to break the home run record. And then obviously I do want to be an all American again this year, which like those are, those goals are hard because, um, a lot of those things are out of your control because it's based on, you know, who they pick. You can have the best season ever and they still don't pick you right based on what school do you go to or what region you're in. So. Yeah, just excited to get back out there and just do my best. Yeah. Any other questions, ladies? I would say too, while you guys are thinking of more questions, just to add on to that, one thing that was hard for me last year as a freshman was I was playing really good on the softball field, but I was not doing really good outside of the softball field in life. And like, I was letting those things affect me. Like when I had a bad game, I was letting it affect me all day. And so I really had to learn how to grow from that. Even if I had a bad game, still be happy with myself as a person. Um, so that's like, I'd say another goal for me going into this year. I want to, you know, be the best player I can be, but not at the cost of my own, you know, mental health and my own happiness.

Speaker 2 26:33

So just to make it more clear for these girls, because I'm sure every girl on here has had that experience where a bad game, a bad tournament, a bad weekend affects, rolls over into their next day or their next hours of life. What, what did you do to try and reverse that? Or what, what were some habits that you developed or some tools that you used to get rid of that? Yeah, that's a good question.

Speaker 4 26:55

Yeah. Um, some tools. I would say just. You know, doing the things I love, um, and just remembering that, like, I'm still deserving of doing these things. Even if I have a bad game, I'm still deserving of getting Starbucks in the morning. That's my favorite little thing to do, um, on the way to class. Even if I had a bad game this weekend or I didn't perform and just, there's always another weekend to go out there and go get it. Right. So just, that week just working extra hard to be better. Um, and yeah, just it really, it really just does take like within yourself, remembering that you're still good enough, even if you don't perform softball wise. And once you do figure those things out, they stick with you, you know, it's, it sticks with you for a long time, even outside of sports. So,

Speaker 2 27:47

and the other questions, girls, we haven't had the injury question. The girls often like to ask, have you ever had any major injuries?

Speaker 4 27:54

Yeah, my, I actually haven't. Knock on wood. Yeah. Yeah, those are those are definitely hard. Um, but those are also really good learning experiences I don't wish that upon anybody. But yeah, just learning mentally how to get through those.

Speaker 2 28:10

All right, last call ladies last call Getting close to our time limit here.

Speaker 4 28:19

Even if it's not softball, it can be anything

Speaker 2 28:21

Oh, there's one last question. Go for it.

Speaker 28:24

What helps you like, let's say, like, what helps you not get mad? Let's say like, you are so mad at yourself. And like you couldn't like get out of like, you're like upset. Madness, like you could, it was just so hard for you to like, pick up on it and like, not like, um, what is it, like, not, trying to think of the word, not like, get

Speaker 4 28:53

Let it carry over into like, the rest of the game, or, yeah. That's a really good question, and honestly that's something that I still battle, but I've gotten a lot better at. My biggest tip is like breathing and just like big deep breaths. It just really helps me release or sometimes I just need to like let it all out. And I know you can't do this in the game, but like screaming into my pillow or just yeah, you really just have to remember that it's going to be okay. You know, I know in the moment like It's hard, but just really trying to remember that, like, you got this the next time. And that means talking to your teammate. That helps me a lot, like talking to my parents or my teammates in the middle of the game. Like, gosh, I'm so frustrated. And then your teammate can be like, it's okay, you got this. Like, we'll help you. We'll pick you up and you're going to get this next one. So I think, yeah, breathing and then being able to talk to my family and friends and teammates about it too. Dog.

Speaker 2 29:56

Last two questions. Two questions in the chat. Those are gonna be the last two. So let Terran go.

Speaker 4 30:02

My dog is an Australian Labradoodle and his name is Mojo. And do I like cats or dogs better? Ooh, that's really hard for me. I know a lot of people are dog people, but I can't choose because I used to have two cats also, and I love cats. So I'd say I'm both.

Speaker 2 30:21

Dogs and cats. Yep. Yes, the animals. All right. Well, thank you so much Taryn for coming with us tonight.

Speaker 5 30:29

Thanks so much, Taryn. Yeah. Thanks, girls.

Speaker 2 30:34

All right. Have a good night. Awesome. Bye, girls.