58. What *Actually* Helped Me Ditch the Body Image Struggle [Positive Body Image Vs. Body Image Flexibility]

In episode 58 of Sturdy Girl, host Jess delves into the concept of body image flexibility as an empowering alternative to positive body image. She critiques the limitations of the 'love yourself' mantra and emphasizes the importance of accepting body image fluctuations. Jess explains how body image flexibility can reduce distress and disordered eating while improving mental health. She outlines practical ways to develop this skill, such as noticing and naming negative thoughts, using diffusion techniques, and practicing self-compassion. This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with body dissatisfaction and seeking effective tools for better body image.

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Transcript

Speaker: [00:00:00] Hello friends, and welcome to episode 58 of Sturdy Girl. I see I've returned to my traditional hello friends. I, I couldn't help myself. You have waited. Two weeks for this episode and it's gonna be so, so worth it. I fell down a legitimate rabbit hole for this episode. It started out I kept seeing and being sent some posts by a few different people on social about how positive body image was the only answer, and I was like.

Yeah, that's not the [00:00:30] case, and I could have made this whole episode completely opinion-based, right? I could have just gone off about all the reasons why I think that's not true, and I am going to do that. However, I wanted some research to back me up. So it wasn't just opinion. So thank you for your patience.

It's gonna be a good one. I hope that these last couple weeks you found other podcasts to fill your time that you're settling in with me for a fantastic episode. I'm getting over a cold, so you get a little bit of nasally Jess [00:01:00] today. Buckle up. Let's enjoy. Okay. I thought about catching you up on life a little bit, but I'm actually just really excited to get into this topic and I guess get on my social media, get on Instagram and look at my stories. 'cause I will keep you up to date on all the things. Uh, so let's just get right into this episode do you ever feel like body image advice is like a game where no one gave you the rule book one day, it's just love yourself and the next it's be neutral practice, just acceptance. And somehow, no [00:01:30] matter what you do, you feel like you're playing it wrong and you're ready to just stop struggling and be at peace with your body.

Well, today we are throwing out that old rule book. Was there ever really a rule book? And we're talking about an approach that actually works and that's something called body image flexibility, because forcing yourself to love your body every day.

Yeah, that's a losing game. And truthfully, this episode, while it came from just having a few people send me posts, right? Like I said, this is also the core of this message of [00:02:00] this episode, is this is really what helped me. Ditch my struggle with body image, right? Like no body image struggles are never fully gonna go away.

But this was the singular concept that helped me to navigate the ups and the downs the best. So diving in.

I want to go into a comparison of sorts. We're gonna talk about positive body image, and then we'll talk about body image flexibility, and then we're going to go and compare the two and talk about practical application of body image flexibility. What we're going to tackle here [00:02:30] are key things that help me ditch.

The vast majority, like I said, of struggling with my body image that's full struggle, never fully goes away. We just learned to navigate it better. So let's start by clearing something up. Positive body image is not just love your body no matter what. That is the Instagram version. The research based definition is actually more about appreciating and respecting your body regardless of how it looks on any given day, This is familiar to us, right? We talk about our body being worthy [00:03:00] of respect and care no matter what, but this goes beyond that, that talks about appreciating.

The research says positive body image is linked to higher self-esteem, better mental health, and more self-care behaviors. People with positive body image tend to have body appreciation, body respect, and the less body surveillance, meaning that they're not obsessively checking themselves in the mirror or avoiding photos.

This is different from body positivity. Okay, so side note here, right, this is, I just, I had to include this Body positivity is [00:03:30] actually a movement that started as a radical act of resistance. It was born out of fat activism in the 1960s, and later gained mainstream traction in the 2010s through social media.

The original goal with this was to advocate for body respect, dignity, and inclusion for marginalized bodies. But like most things that go mainstream, it got watered down into just love yourself messages often co-opted by brands selling beauty products and or like clothing lines. That being said, if you're like me and you've intermixed the two terms over time, totally.

Okay. Most [00:04:00] people know what you're talking about, but there is this distinction and it's worth attributing it to the badass women that started the movement. I digress. Positive body image is still not always attainable because while appreciation and respect our great goals. They can feel out of reach when your brain is stuck in a cycle of body dissatisfaction.

So what happens on the bad body image days? What if you don't feel like appreciating your body? If the only option is love yourself or you're doing it wrong, that's a problem. So, If we're not forcing positive body image, what is the answer? And that's where [00:04:30] body image flexibility comes in.

It's the ability to accept and live your life. Regardless of body image, ups and downs, it's not about loving or hating your body. It's about how you respond to body image thoughts.

This approach has a ton of research behind it, especially in areas like acceptance and commitment therapy. studies show that people with high body image flexibility, experience less distress over negative body thoughts. Lower levels of disordered eating and better overall mental health. Instead of forcing yourself to feel [00:05:00] a certain way, body image flexibility teaches you to say, okay, I'm having a really rough day today.

Body image is just, wow. It's rough, but that does not have to control my actions. Okay, so let's compare positive body image and body image flexibility side by side. I will create. A social media post of this, I, I have created, I will, there will be one posted alongside the launch of this episode where it has a side by side.

I'm going to talk through them now. Sometimes some of us are more [00:05:30] visual than auditory, so be easier to see. But looking at positive body image encourages, appreciating and respecting your body versus body image flexibility encourages accepting body image ups and downs without letting them define you.

Positive body image is linked to better self-esteem and wellbeing. Body image flexibility is linked to better emotional resilience and mental health. positive body image can be hard to access for those with deep body image struggles. However, body image flexibility provides tools to navigate negative body [00:06:00] thoughts effectively. 

Positive body image focuses on changing how you feel about your body. Body image flexibility focuses on changing how you respond to body thoughts.

 Positive body image works well when body appreciation is achievable, whereas body image flexibility works even when body appreciation feels impossible. Now comparison's done. I am not saying positive body image is bad. it's actually great when people can cultivate it, but for a lot of people it is a big leap from body dissatisfaction [00:06:30] to full on appreciation.

That's why body image flexibility is such a game changer. It doesn't ask you to feel differently about your body. It asks you to respond to body thoughts in a different way.

So here's where things get interesting. Body image flexibility isn't actually separate from positive body image in some research models. In fact, according to experts like Tracy Tylka and Dr. Neva Piran body image flexibility is actually part of positive body image. 

But I want you to think of [00:07:00] positive body image, like an umbrella. It includes things like body appreciation, respect, rejecting harmful beauty ideals, and yes, body image flexibility. Body image flexibility is what allows people to maintain a stable and resilient positive body image over time. But here's the key distinction. Body image flexibility is also studied separately, especially in acceptance and commitment therapy. In that framework, it's seen as a trainable skill that helps people navigate body image struggles, even if they don't feel particularly positive about their [00:07:30] body.

The TLDR body image flexibility strengthens positive body image, but it's also a separate tool that can help even when positive body image feels out of reach. Okay. Info overload, but, oh my gosh, so good. I just, I wanted to throw all that info at you. Have it be bite size a little bit. Um, more. Tangible. Is that the word I want?

I just, I wanted you guys to know the difference between the two and how they're actually related, So [00:08:00] now let's talk about the application piece. How do we actually build body image flexibility? Here are five ways, five, six. I can count to six ways to start accompanied by a what if scenario to make it just a little more applicable.

Okay, this first one, if you've listened to any other Sturdy Girl episodes, this is going to sound familiar. Notice and name negative body thoughts. Instead of trying to eliminate negative body thoughts, can you notice them? Can you be aware of them? I'm having the thought that I don't like how [00:08:30] I look today.

Or start the sentence with, I'm noticing, I'm noticing the thought that I don't like how I look today. Naming it creates the distance. This skill seems small and it seems simple, but this distances you from that thought because we realize we don't have to identify with our thoughts. This gives us, it takes the power away.

Doing this takes the power away.

So here's the what if, what if you feel overwhelmed by these thoughts? Try [00:09:00] writing them down and then physically setting the paper aside, it reinforces that they don't have to control you. Right? So this is similar to some homework I've given in weeks prior about noticing body thoughts. Writing them down, keeping track of the ones that you hear that are recurring over and over again, but this just helps us to be able to write them down and take the power away.

You can do this similarly with speaking it aloud on a voice memo and then just closing out of the app. Right. Just having these ways of getting it out of your head. Setting aside, um, one [00:09:30] strategy with clients for pre-race preparation, I have them write out all of the negative thoughts that are coming up in regards to the race.

Like, oh my gosh, what if I poop my pants? What if I wake up past my alarm? Like all the worst case scenario things that are like running through your head. 

We can do the reframe of like, if I poop my pants during the race, then I will, whatever your solution is to that. thankfully when it happened to me, I was near a porta-potty and we just made do, and I wrap my long sleeve around my shorts and we finish the race. [00:10:00] But like we can reframe or we simply write down all of these things that we are worried about and then we rip up the paper and we throw it away.

Right. We are giving ourselves distance. I'm noticing the thought of blank, right? So let the thought come up. Oh my God, these pants make me feel so fat. I'm noticing these pants Don't make me feel like myself, Noticing. Okay, notice and name negative body thoughts. Number two, diffusion diffusion techniques.

Imagine your body thought. [00:10:30] In a goofy voice or picture it as a popup ad, my God, popup ads that you can close, So like, I feel fat today, That's something that pops up more often than we like to, but we notice it, right? So we're replying number one of noticing these thoughts, and then maybe we give it a high pitch voice or low pitch voice, or it sounds like goofy or a dolphin.

I don't know. I was going to do a funny voice in this right now with my lack of range post cold. I'm just not even gonna go there. What if this [00:11:00] feels silly? I'm gonna tell you that is the entire point. Playfulness helps take the power away from these intrusive thoughts. It helps take power away from noticing.

Okay, that thought's actually. What power am I giving it? I actually feel really good today about this and this about myself or about my body, or whatever it might be, right? it just can take away and you're like, wow, silly. Okay, moving on. You know, number three, shift the focus to actions. You do not have to love your body to take care of [00:11:30] it.

How many times have you heard this before from me? Move your body because it feels good. Eat because your body deserves nourishment. Rest because you need it. our bodies deserve respect, care, nourishment, no matter how we feel about them, can we shift to the actions that take care of our body? So then the what if is what if we don't feel motivated to take care of our body?

Can we start small? Can we focus on function rather than appearance? Stretching, because it relieves tension eating because it sustains your energy. [00:12:00] Walking because it clears your mind. Action often proceeds that mindset shift. We can't just think our way into change. It requires action. Number four, self-compassion over self-love.

Instead of, I love my body. Try. I'm doing my best I can with the body I have today. We have talked a ton about self-compassion. I will link other self-compassion episodes in the show notes to go into what this really means. What is self-compassion? It's not letting ourselves off the hook. It really [00:12:30] isn't.

But if this feels foreign or forced, one, listen to those episodes. Two, think about how you talk to a friend struggling with body image. Would you shame them into feeling better? Would you guilt them into feeling better? No. So why do we do it to ourselves? Practicing self-compassion is like strengthening a muscle.

It gets easier with repetition. Okay. Number five, keep living your life, which sounds easier said than done. Depending on the body image spiral. Bad body image days happen. They will [00:13:00] always happen. No matter how healthy your body image is, no matter how healthy your relationship with yourself is, the key here is to live anyways.

What if you keep doing the things you'd normally do instead of letting your thoughts about your body dictate what you will and won't do, right? So the what if here? What if body image thoughts are stopping you from doing something? Ask yourself, if I wasn't thinking so much about my body right now, what would I be doing?

Then challenge yourself to do that thing despite the thoughts. Maybe you modify [00:13:30] it, right? The more you prove to yourself that body image does not have to dictate your life or your actions, the more power that you can reclaim.

And then lastly, number six, explore embodiment. This is actually a little sneak peek for an upcoming episode. Not gonna lie. One of the most effective ways to break free from this constant cycle of body image struggles is shifting the focus away from how your body looks altogether. And that's where embodiment comes in.

It's actually about experiencing your body through movement, sensation, [00:14:00] breath, not just seeing it as something to be judged. Okay, this. This is like, ugh. I'm so excited. We're gonna dive deeper into this in a couple weeks, but for now, here's a question for you. When was the last time you moved, stretched, or just breathed without thinking about what your body looked like while doing it?

How much time do we spend thinking about what we look like? The goal of a healthy body image, whether that ends up being that body image, flexibility, positive body image, those things, our goal here is to [00:14:30] think about our bodies less. Part of the work ends up being thinking about our body more because we're learning reframes.

The ultimate goal here is thinking about it less and being in our bodies more experiencing movement, sensation, breath, All those things. Okay. That, ugh. I'm excited for this episode, you guys, but here is the big takeaway from this entire episode. positive body image works for you, amazing, but if you are struggling.

Body image flexibility is probably what you [00:15:00] actually need. Try out some of the practical application approaches. We just went over and let me know. If you do tag me on social media, send me a dm. And remember, you do not have to fix your body to feel better. You just have to change the way you respond to body thoughts.

Next time you hear someone say, you have to love your body. Remember there is another way. See you next time. Sturdy girls.