Ep 127 What Aerial Taught Me About Being a MIDLIFE Beginner

This week I did something a little outside my usual world I went to an aerial silks and hoop class. And what I didn't expect was how much it would bring up.

Body stuff. Beginner feelings. And for the first time in a long time... an unexpected thought about my age.

In this short personal episode I'm sharing what the experience taught me about showing up as a beginner and why I think it matters so much, especially when it comes to walking into any new space that asks you to be vulnerable. Whether that's an aerial class, a yoga studio, or a Breathwork session for the first time.

If you've ever hesitated at the door of something new this one's for you.

Curious about Breathwork... visit Still Space Hull to discover more

And shout out to Millie, Claire and Anna at Pole & Aerial for Fitness for supporting me in my first session.

Thanks for listening to Rooted In Presence

If you’d like to get in touch with a question about today’s episode or find out how I can support you with coaching, here’s how to reach me:
📧 Email: carlykillenpt@gmail.com
📱 Instagram: @thestrongbonescoach

Do you crave unshakable confidence in your strength from midlife and beyond? Would you love to achieve your goals without sacrificing family time or self-care?

Ready to take your strength to the next level? Start building a stronger body and healthier bones with my Strong Bones Starter Kit; your step-by-step guide to safe and effective strength training at home.
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🌟 For tailored advice or personal queries, email me at carlykillenpt@gmail.com

Thank you for being here, and I look forward to supporting you on your journey to strength, health, and confidence! 💪🦴✨

Transcript

0:46

Hello and welcome back to Rooted in Presence. I'm your host, Carly, and this week I'm going to share with you. About something new. I explored this week, something that felt a little bit kind of a nothingness, but small on paper. It's not really that big a deal, but I ended up feeling quite big in practice and I think that gets to be okay. So I went to an aerial silks and hoop class and it really did push the edges of my comfort zone. Now if you know me, you might think, oh, you're a strength coach. Work in fitness. Surely walking into a gym environment is not exactly a stretch. And that's kind of true. And you, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But thing is, I walked in there and I felt so nervous, genuinely nervous, kind of outta place. Like I really didn't belong. And I've been there before and I've got through it before, and yet there it was again. So it did still surprise me, even though it's not my first rodeo. And then what surprised me even more was what came up next, but I'll get to that in a minute. So today's episode might be shorter than usual, little bit more of a personal one, but I think the story has something in it for you. I hope, especially if you've ever hesitated at the door of a new space, whether that be a fitness class, a yoga studio, a breathwork session. Somewhere that's asking something of you that you're not quite sure if you're quite ready to give. So let's get going. So let me offer you some context here. So a aerial silks and hoop. I might be saying that wrong, but that's what I call it if you haven't seen it. It is essentially acrobatics using lengths of fabric hanging from the ceiling and a hoop that is suspended from some kind of ropey thing, and it looks really beautiful when it's done well. It looks completely effortless when the people doing it have practiced for many, many years from what I can see. When I did it, of course it did not look effortless and I didn't expect it to. It was my first go. But I actually do think I might have found a new talent for making things look harder than they feel. So there's always that. So when I walked in, I immediately clocked room. I think most people were maybe even half my age and I'm not exaggerating. Okay. I might be exaggerating a little bit'cause I'm not very good at knowing how old people are. People are, but I was the, the oldest one there by far. There were certainly lighter on their feet. They were moving in ways that were already showing their progress. Uh, definitely not their first time hanging upside down from a piece of fabric, but they were also relative beginners, which gave me some hope. But because part of my work schedule, I needed to join the class that was a bit further along than the ultimate beginner's course. So they had a good eight to 10 weeks of experience on me. So in that moment, that familiar feeling of, oh, I really am a beginner here. This is very much a new thing. And again, it is obvious. It was my first class. I had no grand expectations. There's something about being a beginner in a physical space when you've spent years in physical spaces in a different role as the coach, the leader, the facilitator, as a person who kind of knows what they're doing. Um, although I don't exactly hold myself up there as the expert, if you know me, if you've been in spaces with me, you'll know I'm not really about the hierarchy thing, but still it's a different feeling. It's a different energy. And in this moment, I really notice my body.'cause if I'm honest with you and'cause that is what I aim to do here, I'm still navigating burnout, recovery and that means my body looks and feels different to how it has done in the years prior. I'm living in a bigger body at the moment, um, not as fit, all as strong as I was a few years ago. And then it's okay. I mean, it really is. I've been through this kind of process before. I know there is another side to it. But in that room, in the silks, with that moment, I really felt it, and then something else came up that I actually didn't see coming, and it was all about my age. I'm not someone who. It gives a lot of thought to my age. I do work with midlife women. I talk about midlife constantly in some kind of way, and I do believe wholeheartedly that this stage of life is one of the most powerful that there is, and I'm finding that for myself too. And yet standing there about to attempt to climb this piece of fabric for the first time. I heard that little voice. Are you a bit old for this? And I just stood there for a second thinking well. Where did you come from? Because actually, I've mostly had a positive attitude towards my advancing age. I genuinely celebrate every birthday. I collect my birthday candles because I've experienced loss and grief. I lost my Mum when she was only 45, and I've had chapters of my own that included serious illness and mental health struggles. And they've reminded me pretty viscerally that getting older is certainly a privilege, not a problem. And life is not something we just sit on the sidelines of and just let it all happen to us. It is something we get to choose, and I'm saying this after a lot of sitting on the sidelines, by the way. But yeah, I work with midlife women for the most part, so it's in conversation all the time. But this time of life really just gets to be liberating, and that's what I hope for everybody that I work with. So age positivity. It's not a performance or a tick box for me. It's really something I've earned through grief and genuine gratitude, and yet still standing in that room for that first time, noticing where I'm at in my recovery journey. Small voice was still there and it actually did catch me off guard. I mean, it wasn't exactly devastating, didn't really stop me and what I was doing, it was more that waiting to get started moment. But it was interesting and kind of good to clock it.'cause even the most age positive among us can have our wobbles, even the people who know better. And I just wanted to acknowledge that here. So what did I do with all of that? Well, I did the class. I wobbled, I fell on my bum. I'm very grateful for the soft padded flaws. I had a good laugh at myself. Of course, I couldn't do everything, but I could do more than I expected, which was a pleasant surprise. And the people in the room, the instructor, the other participants, they were lovely. They're absolutely wonderful. Welcoming, encouraging, completely unbothered by the fact that I was clinging onto a silk or the hoop with the expression of pure concentration. While they made it look a lot easier. But by the end of it, I felt good, genuinely good, surprised by what my body could do, even though I'm still not quite on the other side of the burnout recovery, but I'm glad I went a little bit proud of myself actually, maybe in a quiet way, and more about the showing up than what I actually got done there. And yes, I cycled home too, but so as a good warm up and cool down for me, and honestly, if I had a car I'd driven, but I don't, cycling is my mode of transport. I'm gonna stick that on there as a win too. But as I was cycling home and paying attention to the traffic, of course, but my mind did wonder, I found myself thinking about all the people who, who don't cross over that threshold or the people who stand at the door of a new class and you space something unfamiliar and those who turn around. Because of that beginner feeling. Because of how they feel in their body, because of the age or that feeling of not knowing anybody or that there might even be the worst one there. And that's in air quotes by the way. And I also thought about all the times that I've been there too, the times I've turned around and gone home before anybody saw me. The times I've canceled last minute. And yes, those times I stepped in as well and was met with the most beautiful welcome and I just thought, yeah, this is exactly what I want for Still Space Hull. I want it to feel like that, that welcome the safety, that sense that you're allowed to be a beginner here And it's okay not to quite know what it is that you want to get out of it. None of that's gonna be held against you because what I think is really going on here, normally hesitate at that door of a new space. It's not just about being nervous. There's a vulnerability to stepping into new spaces. When you walk into a fitness class, yoga class, a breathwork session, any space that's asking you to be in your body to feel something, to be seen, you are exposing yourself in some kind of way. And I just wanna acknowledge that don't know the rules yet. You don't know if you'll be any good. You don't know if you're fit. And for a lot of women, I work with that vulnerability is. Amplified in midlife, perimenopause, and menopause being just one of the factors that are responsible for this. But because somewhere along the way we kind of stopped being allowed to be beginners. We became the capable ones, the ones who held it all together, the ones who knew what they were doing, or at least feel like they're supposed to look that way. And there is something quietly revolutionary about walking back in with that beginner's mind. About saying, I don't know how to do this yet, but I'm gonna do it anyway. And that comes up a lot when people are considering coming to breathwork for the first time. I hear it all the time. I dunno what to expect. I'm a bit nervous. What if I do it wrong? What if something comes up and I don't know what to do with that. And I'd like to speak directly to that because it really does matter. This is something I take into really serious consideration with the wear in my sessions. So firstly, you can't get breathwork wrong. You have been breathing your whole life every single day. Your body knows how to do this. What we're doing in a breathwork session is just bringing more awareness and intention into something you already do naturally. So I completely understand that feeling of, well, if I'm no good at this, I've held it myself in the aerial class and in many other things over the years I've been doing life. But with breath work, there is no good at it or bad at it. It's just not a thing. It's just your breath and what it wants to show you today. And in terms of not knowing what to expect, this is something I take really seriously. Before any session, it's still Space Hall. I make sure people know what to expect. We go through the se, what the session involves, what might come up, what the guidelines are. I want there to be as much safety and clarity as possible going in so that once we're in the room together, you can actually relax into it rather than spending the whole time wondering what's happening next, because the not knowing is vulnerable enough on its own. The least I can do is make sure you're not also navigating the logistics in your head the whole time. And the silks, don't care if I've done it before. The breath doesn't care if you're a beginner. The body just wants you to meet it where it is. Meet yourself where you are, and a good space, whether that's an aerial class, fitness class, or a breathwork studio, we'll meet you there too. So if you have been hovering at the door of something, and I mean that literally or metaphorically, allow me to offer you this. That nervous feeling doesn't mean you're not ready. It often means you're right on the edge of something that's probably gonna be good. The body stuff, the age stuff. I don't know anyone things. It's real. I'm not dismissing that. I felt it so many times this week in a room full of people who could climb fabric better than me, and I went in any way, and I'm glad I did. So if you have been curious that's still space home about the breathwork sessions, about the community we're building here, and you've been a little bit hesitant, a little bit unsure of what to expect, this is me saying that's okay and that is normal and the door is open, there is space for you here. You don't have to know what you're doing, it's just about showing up. So that is it from me today. Have a lovely week everybody, and may you meet yourself with Compassion, walk with Presence, and remember you already have everything you need. Take care.