Elevating Self-Care to Transform Your Essence and Life - Episode 6

As I, Coleen Myers, unfolded the chapters of my life where self-care was a forgotten footnote, I realised the immense power it held in transforming not just my day-to-day, but my very essence. Entering the new year, I'm here to share this journey with you on The Striving Butterfly podcast—where we acknowledge the grind and glory of single parenthood, career hustle, and the quest for stability, all while learning the critical importance of putting ourselves first. It's time to shift self-care from a luxury to a cornerstone in the architecture of our lives, and I'm thrilled to guide you through this transformative process.

Each episode is a step towards recharging and offering the world the best version of ourselves. We'll navigate through practical self-care strategies—from the simplicity of deep breathing to the creative outlet of vision boards. Setting boundaries isn't just a buzz phrase; it's a lifeline to a balanced existence. So, join me in this heartfelt conversation, as we prioritize our mental, physical, and emotional well-being, and together, let's craft a year where self-care is not just a goal but a fulfilling reality.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Transformative Power of Self-Care
• 12:47 Self-Care's Importance in Daily Life

Transcript

Coleen Myers: 0:00

This is the Striving Butterfly podcast. Welcome, lovely listeners, to The Striving Butterfly episode of , where we dive deep into my journey, revealing the ups and downs of navigating through life while fighting with the armor I have worn for so many years. The aim is to support those who are too nervous to own floors and unable to communicate with friends, family, and partners out of the fear of being judged. I want to be intentional, so you feel like face-to-face are sitting with me. I want you to have a notebook handy so you can start journaling as thoughts and feelings trickle and drop into your mind. I want you to have something nice to drink to sip on while we listen, and I want you to listen and feel convicted in wanting to make a change and you start applying that change to your daily life. I want this podcast to be a part of your transformation journey and you are able to go back to an episode and say this is what allowed me to think the way I do today. This is the episode that changed everything. I'm about to make the uncomfortable comfortable. So here we go A new year 2024. Come and unpick and unpack the excess luggage. We're about to restore what we've lost as I teach you how to remove the noise, put yourself first and practice self care.

Coleen Myers: 2:34

I'm your host, Coleen Myers, and today I have a special episode, just because it's the start of the new year dedicated to transformative transformative self-care of . Now you came into the year thinking, yay, I made it. Some were thinking I don't know how Some have gone straight in and thought about the 100 of things they want to achieve and do this year, whilst others are just sitting back east and just taking each day as it comes. But in all of that is it is on your list? Where have you placed it? Have you written your goals? Have you started? Yet Now it's taken me a long time to discover my own wings and to truly understand who am I, who are you? Coleen?

Coleen Myers: 3:57

To be able to do this podcast, I've had to do some real deep reflection on myself. I've had to strip away and look at myself with like a microscope. And all of that, all of the chasing, all of the running, all of the go, go, go, go, go at 100 miles per hour. When I took sick two years ago, I realised that self care was not at the top of my list. So, for all the trauma I had experienced, for everything that I had gone through, for all of the armor and the front that I put up, it was very much just about survival Colleen, survive, girl, survive, single parent I gotta survive. I got mouths to feed, graduating from uni, coming out of school, leaving your parents house, buying new property, even renting a car or hiring or leasing a car.

Coleen Myers: 5:18

Sometimes we're just go, go go, we're just pushed into life and it comes and gets to a point where we haven't taken our foot off the gas. So for me it was very much work, career and being. I'm raising my child in a single parent household where it was just me. Yes, her dad was around, but there's a difference. When the father is around but you're still in a single parent household where you're both not living together, it's different level of survival that many don't understand and it's not for this episode, but doesn't matter what the situation is.

Coleen Myers: 6:13

Sometimes survival is the only thing we can do and when we get to that point and in that stage in our life, we forget self care, we forget and even lose ourselves. Sometimes we can get a bit defensive. Sometimes we can be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm doing it. And then 365 days of the year goes and you're like what did I do for myself? How am I developing? How am I nourishing myself? How am I growing? How am I moving forward? Yes, I had fun, I got to travel, I got a job, I got friends, I get to go out, I'm serving a church. But what are you doing? How are you replenishing yourself? Because at the moment, it just sounds like you're doing, doing, doing and doing. You might think, oh, but you survived and you're doing well because you've already gone through the grief, you've already gone through the trauma. Colleen, you're sitting here telling us and yes, I have.

Coleen Myers: 7:33

But I still took me a while to identify with myself that self care wasn't at the top of my list. In my prayer group with my two beautiful ladies, they used to always, whenever we used to plan our goals, they'll be like Coleen, like it can't be at the bottom in it or where is it. They used to check me because, yeah, I'm doing well, but from everything I've experienced and gone through, and to stay in the click and to stay with the trend and to stay moving, I feel like I've got to stay on top. I can't have anyone see me fall. I can't miss a beat. I can't lose or miss this opportunity.

Coleen Myers: 8:22

And from doing that I've completely lost myself, like all that I had experienced as a young child and all I put myself through and you know the different relationships from relationships and why we're arguing, why we're breaking up, why I give up and I'm like this is not for me and moving on to the next, my career, just going, going, going and really giving it so much that I spend more time working than I do anything else, because I'm like I'm not taking my foot off the gas. I want to provide a better future for myself and my daughter so that, if I've always had this thought of, if I pass away early and, you know, if I don't wake up, or if I just don't make it my legacy and how I've worked and my drive or influence my daughter to not give up and also to inspire those around me, because things could have been different based on how I started. I may have not been where I am now, but I've come to a point, I've come to a checkpoint, shall I say, where I'm like girl, before you can get to that next level, before you can really elevate, before you really transform, before those wings really come out. You need to look a little bit within yourself, because you're going, going, going, going, going. You're moving, moving, moving, moving, moving. You're chatting, chatting, chatting, chatting, chatting. And everything may look good on the outside, but when's the last time you had a face mask and just sat with yourself? When's the last time you've taken yourself out for something to eat? When's the last time you've just switched your phone off? When's the last time you said you know what? I'm not going to go out with the friends, I'm going to drop Johnny off to childcare or somewhere, and I'm just going to chill out and do absolutely nothing.

Coleen Myers: 10:57

As you've listened back to my story on previous episodes, you can hear that I've gone from one thing to the next and there's still pieces that I still haven't gone through. But I've gone through quite a bit and in all those stages and moments, while I've just kept going and going, because the trauma has just sort of, I used the trauma as a way to say, okay, that's happened, now move to the next level. That's happened now, move to the next level. That's happened, now, move to the next, not really going deeper in. Why did this happen and what are you going to do about it, how are you going to reflect on it and how are you going to improve on it? And within all of that, there's an element of knowing yourself, understanding yourself, coming to terms with the wrongs and the rights and the improvements that you want to make with yourself to allow yourself to grow and not make the same mistakes again. Because I've made some mistakes more than twice, even more than three times and that's because I've just moved on to the next broad back, defensive, everything and because of that, it's the cause of why I was unable to be vulnerable, because I would never let anyone see me low. But if I can't even come to terms with looking at myself in the mirror and saying you're doing too much, you're being too hard, then I'm losing who I am and we don't want to do that. We don't want to lose ourselves because we've put on such a front that we forget to even know who am I.

Coleen Myers: 12:47

Self-care has become like a buzzword and it really has come a conversational topic in the workplaces following COVID and a lot of people spending a lot of time with themselves and finding out that many of us are not even doing it. But it isn't just a trend, it's a fundamental practice that allows us to just recharge and show up as our best selves. What are you saying? Did you listen into this while you got yourself something to drink? You're on your way to work, you're in the car.

Coleen Myers: 13:33

Well, let me go just a little bit into this, because I want us to start this year. This is like going to be my first full year of the podcast, so let us put some and build some bricks. Let's lay some foundation. Let's put ourselves first in January. If we do that, then hey, we've started.

Coleen Myers: 13:56

Well, what are you saying? Are you ready to embark on this journey together? Give me a high five, yeah, to kick things off, let me clarify what self-care truly means. It's more than bubble baths and scented candles. It's an all-round approach to well-being. Self-care encompasses activities that really nourish our mental, physical and emotional health. It's about intentional actions that rejuvenate us. Now there is an importance of self-care.

Coleen Myers: 14:50

Now, why is self-care so crucial in our fast-paced lives? As I've given you an example of mine, and while doing that, I'm sure you've just slotted yourselves into your own stories well, taking time for ourselves isn't selfish, it's a necessity. When we prioritise self-care, we become better equipped to handle life's challenges and cultivate a positive mindset and those gollers in their word and trying to grow their faith. When you really home in, there's an element that also draws you closer to Christ. It's about building a relationship with yourself as you cross over into this year. Sometimes some of us cross over really, really quick and we're just like, yep, I'm here, boom. And some of us are just slow. Some of us are still laying on our backs in our bed, not even ready to move, still in holiday Christmas season mode.

Coleen Myers: 16:16

Well, self care Well, it's like putting on your oxygen mask first before assisting others on a plane. Think about it when you take care of yourself, you're better able to give to others and navigate life's twist and turns with strength and resilience. You're wearing a different type of armor and you feel no way to draw for that oxygen mask, because if I put me first, then I can save and help this person, this person, this person, this person, this person and this person, rather than running out of air and just being dead out Because I didn't prepare myself. I just tried to go in it like everybody else. Now let me get a little bit practical, because you might be wondering and you might already have some ideas, but what are some tangible self care practices that you could incorporate into your daily routines?

Coleen Myers: 17:59

I recently shared a 30 day self care challenge on the podcast page and my own page. I collaborated. It's really just doing small tasks daily that we then build into our normal routine. Now this challenge, you know it just marks out 30 days of different self care activities and you don't have to do them in that order, but it gives you some idea. You know. For instance, practice deep breathing or start meditation, just 10 minutes. So first thing in the morning or last thing before you go to bed, or even if you come off a call and you're just like that took the wind out of me. Take 10 minutes to just come all the way back down. So you're leveled completely out.

Coleen Myers: 19:19

Walking is great. The weather's a bit cold at the moment, but just taking a 10 minute walk and then go into a 15 minute walk and then go into a 20 minute walk, sometimes you don't even realize. Mark out your route. If you've got a pet dog, then great excuse, because you're most probably already out. But get a great playlist, an audio book, whatever it is. That's just gonna allow you to shut off and zone in. Give yourself a compliment, there's no harm. Go to the mirror and say, girl, you are doing great. You may be still in your nightdress, morning may still be on your face and you didn't even sleep properly, but you know what it will give you the biggest boost to just say, girl, you got this.

Coleen Myers: 20:23

It's really, really important and this one is so hard for me, but I've put it on the 30 days is create a relaxing bedtime routine. Like I'm that person that I've been in the office all day, being on calls all day, and I sometimes don't wanna talk to anyone, but then I'll jump on social media and I'm there for 20 minutes, 30, 40, boom, a whole hour. I'm still there sending memes and laughing and doing all the things when I should have found myself a real good playlist, picked up my book or Bible earlier and just zoned out. Like sometimes I do think backwards and it's about creating a relaxing bedtime routine where you just give yourself some time back. Like don't give it to the social media platforms, don't give it to somebody else on the phone. Just take your 10 minutes, do your cleanser, toner, face massage and drag it out if you need to. You know that's just your thing to just huh, this feels good, this feels nice.

Coleen Myers: 21:43

Make sure and this is so essential in January and try and run it through is to set boundaries, to protect your mind, your body and your spirit. Yeah, and even more importantly, your time. Not everyone should have access to you at all times. Now, this is my favourite, if you know me, is creating a vision board, or just listing out your personal goals, what is going to be your keyword for the year, and be deliberate with it and be careful with it, because it can challenge you. And listing out your goals like I don't know you can do. You know I'm going to win or I'm not going to win. No, that's not a good one. I'm going to go on holiday to Bali that's on my list, by the way and I am going to take myself out on a solo day once a month. Try and listen to music that bring your levels down jazz, classical, any soaking music. Sometimes you don't need lyrics, sometimes you just need instrumental Journal about your thoughts and your feelings. And now again, we're in a new year, a new month.

Coleen Myers: 23:22

Declutter your space. If you haven't used it, get rid of it, give it to charity, give it to family, anything. Put it away in the loft but declutter your space. Reflect on your accomplishments and your growth, like everything that you went through last year every reward, every promotion, every good step your child has done to get an e-card and to get a point scorecard or a sticker of the week like. Reflect on your accomplishments. Every reward your child receives is also reward that you receive because you was the one that supported them and helped them get through it. Last but not least, reflect on your month and review your progress so that you can then sit back at the end of the month and celebrate your achievements. It's quite cool.

Coleen Myers: 24:30

I'm in a group with my good friends and every Friday and it's sort of become our sort of routine every Friday, one of us first drops a picture of like a glass to just toast the weekend and then afterwards you'll see the rest of us dropping that glass to just say here's to the weekend, feet up, doing whatever it is that we want to do. And it's just really satisfying because, without realizing sometimes they come in really early and I'm still at my desk and I'm like girl, get up, shut down, it's gone past five, it's Friday. Your girl's already out doing their thing, hanging out with their husbands, their partners, their children, and you're sitting at your desk doing what Everything that can be done on a Monday. So it's sort of forced me to change my mindset a little bit, because it's all a part of giving yourself that time back. Now, those are just different ways that you can practice self care and build out a routine, and you don't have to do all 30, you might start with 10 and repeat the 10, completely up to you.

Coleen Myers: 25:56

But don't ignore yourself and share with me your own personal journey. Share with me what you're doing and if you're not, and if you need assistance. And if you're like I don't even know where to start because I feel bad, praising and celebrating myself. And, girl, we need to talk. We need to talk. Don't sit there and be by yourself struggling to know how do you take that step to put yourself first.

Coleen Myers: 26:36

And with that, as I wrap up today's episode, I encourage you, my beautiful listeners, to embrace self care as a daily task. Remember, it's not about perfection, but about progress. Consistency is key. Take a moment each day to honor yourself and watch how it transforms your life. Thank you for tuning in to the striving butterfly podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, rate and share with your friends. Until next time, take care of yourselves and take a second to reset. Go on, hit that control delete button in your head, because you know what we're going to reset. We're going to reset and we got this. And until next time, speak soon and take care of yourselves. Want.