Boundaries vs. Capacity: The Hidden Key to Clarity

In this episode of Striving Butterfly, we explore the powerful difference between boundaries and protecting your capacity — and how learning to honour both can bring lasting clarity and direction in your life.

From training for the London Marathon, preparing for a trip to Africa, and planning the ORE Women’s Conference, I’ve learned that just having boundaries isn’t enough. You also need to be honest about what you actually have to give.

We cover:

• What boundaries and capacity really are
• How to manage both without guilt
• 5 practical steps to apply today
• Why slowing down isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom
• A scriptural foundation to help you stay rooted and clear

Scripture: Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Challenge:

Head to the comments or DM me —

What’s one area in your life where you need to protect your capacity more intentionally?

Chapters

• 0:00 Unpacking Boundaries vs. Capacity
• 2:16 Understanding True Boundaries
• 3:18 Protecting Your Natural Capacity
• 5:00 Five Practical Ways to Find Balance
• 9:00 Making Room for Clarity and Purpose
• 14:28 Final Thoughts on Intentional Living

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

In today's episode, we're unpacking the difference between boundaries and protecting your capacity, two things that are often confused but are not the same. From preparing for the marathon, which is done, to an upcoming trip to Africa, which I'm going on today, and then also planning a women's conference for ORE, I've learned in all, in the midst of doing multiple things, being selective isn't selfish, it's wise, because I've only listed a few things. There's so many other things happening, so this episode is about learning when to say no, how to honour your limitations without guilt, and how this helps you stay focused and clear on what God is really calling you to do, or what you're really meant to do. So, hey, butterfly family, welcome back to the Striving Butterfly. In today's episode, I want to talk to you about something that has been really active in my life right now Boundaries versus protecting your capacity, when you're in a season of doing planning, preparing literally continuously, like myself, like the start of this year, I was planning and prepping for the marathon. I'm planning and prepping for women's conference in July Make sure you're there, check it out and then I'm also planning and prepping, and today I'm actually going to Africa to do a mission trip. In all these different things. When you look from a wide lens, you clearly and quickly realize that you can't do it all and you shouldn't feel bad for that. With this, you start to see the difference between what you've allowed in that's boundaries and how much you truly have to give right now. That's capacity. And when you learn to manage both, you find something even more valuable and that's clarity.

Speaker 1: 2:16

Let's start with boundaries. Boundaries are limits you set around access to your time, your attention and your emotional availability. It's when you say I don't respond to messages after that time. I'm not going to allow that conversation to pull me in. I don't entertain disrespect, even in subtle ways. Boundaries help you to stay focused. They keep distractions out and alignment in. They matter. But having boundaries doesn't always mean you're thriving, because you can be guarded on the outside and still feeling overwhelmed on the inside. I've battled with this for many times. Then there's capacity, or that's when capacity comes in. Capacity isn't about who's asking. It's about what you truly have to give. About who's asking. It's about what you truly have to give.

Speaker 1: 3:28

Protecting your capacity means acknowledging when you've reached your limits mentally, emotionally and physically. And are you being obedient enough to pause? I've had to apply this recently between ministry work, this recently between ministry work, planning for the marathon, managing my shop, mother conference and all these other little things I do outside. I've asked myself do I have the strength for this today? Is this the right time or am I forcing it? Have I actually aligned with my timelines and my deadlines? Have I prayed about this or am I just reacting? Sometimes, protecting your capacity means saying no to the thing that usually you say yes to, saying no to the thing that usually you say yes to, not because it's wrong, but because it's not right for you. Now and every time I've slowed down to check in with my real limits. When I do that, when I pause, when I draw back in, every single time that I've done it, I've gained clarity, and clarity allows you, and also I, to have clearer thinking, sharper priorities and stronger conviction.

Speaker 1: 4:58

So here are some practical tips. You know I like practical tips that you can apply in your life. These are five ways to protect both your boundaries and your capacity. One set a weekly reset day. Pick one day to pause and reflect. Ask yourself what's pulling me out of alignment? Where do I need to step back? This can actually help you go into each week with direction to practice.

Speaker 1: 5:38

Delayed responses. You don't have to reply instantly. Give space before committing to anything. Use simple, respectful phrases like let me get back to you or I currently need to just think this through because I've got other priorities and I just want to make sure I've aligned everything. Three create room in your calendar and I have said this before and I say it many times Block out time for nothing, not doom scrolling, not doing, not watching TV, not to cook, just to be still. Stillness creates room for clarity. Four don't compromise your devotion time. Don't compromise your time of reflection. When life gets full, the first thing you shouldn't do is mess your reflection time, because that's where real discernment begins. If you're not in faith or within a religion, this is time that you dedicate just to reflect on what you're doing with yourself.

Speaker 1: 7:21

Five stop explaining every no. It can take time, but people who love and respect you won't need an explanation. Let your no be rooted in alignment and not apology. Let your no be rooted in alignment and not apology. The scripture I want to bring to you today is Proverbs 4.23. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. That includes your time, your creativity, your ability to hear from God. Clearly Guarding your heart also looks like being intentional with what you say yes to and just as intentional with what you let go of, let go of.

Speaker 1: 8:33

Now there's so many things happening. I'm a real busy bee, real busy butterfly, but it is really important that, with all that I've gone through from previous experience, is not repeating the same patterns from the past. Not repeating what I know didn't work, not repeating what I know is just going to exhaust me. It's taking micro steps to say, actually I'm going to say no, actually I'm not going to do that. Actually I'm going to take a moment to reflect. Actually I'm going to try something different and I think, from doing the marathon and I'm not going to go through it, on this episode I need, I'm still actually like working through it. I need to do something separate.

Speaker 1: 9:23

But doing something like the marathon, your brain and your head goes in to overdrive. It expands out things that you didn't think you need to think about. You think about, but one key thing you realize is that you actually can do anything. You put your heart and mind to Anything. It's not going to be easy. Blood, sweat and tears is what is going to take out of you, but it's possible. It's possible to set a target. It's possible to set a date and be like I'm doing this and that's it, and be like I'm doing this and that's it.

Speaker 1: 10:14

In all of this I've learned you can't keep giving out if you're not clear on what you're asked to carry out. You don't need to be everywhere, you don't need to just be the yes. You just need to know and understand and take time to really establish what's my purpose, what's my call, what am I meant to be doing? Is this really it, is this really what I want to be doing, or am I just going into overdrive and doing what everybody else wants me to do? So my challenge to you is what's one area in your life right now where you need to protect your capacity more intentionally? Is it your time, your thoughts, your schedule, your expectations? I want to hear from you. So head over to the comments, any of my socials, or send me a DM, because you don't want it to be in the comments, and I understand that. I'll just love to hear from you. I'd love to hear what this has brought up for you.

Speaker 1: 11:34

You'd be surprised that there's more than one person going through the same thing, and if you're struggling with just managing your time, I'll do a little plug. I do planners. I do daily planners, I do weekly planners, I do monthly planners. I also have affirmation cards, gratitude cards. Whatever it is that you need to get you back on track, that you need to get you back on track. There's tools. There's loads of good videos, there's loads of micro steps that you can take before you go wham bam. Thank you, ma'am all out there, be easy on yourself. You're not lazy for slowing down, you're not weak for stepping back. You're just making room for clarity, and that is wisdom.

Speaker 1: 12:40

I wanted to do this episode before I travel because I felt, not just because of a time timing and I've been adamant that I'm going to keep to a schedule but because I'm in a place of transition and change, and there's many of you that if you've been listening to the podcast since the start, if not, you need to go back and listen.

Speaker 1: 13:05

There should be a link and a subscribe over here. But if you've been channeling in to the podcast, you can see over time that I've evolved and I've revolved as I've dwelled deeper into what I'm intentionally meant to be doing when should I be and who should I be spending time with, and what does that look like? What does that sound like? Because it's important that I live out my purpose. It's important I'm able to achieve what it is that I need to achieve, and we all have different levels of achievement that we want to reach. We all have different expectations, but what's your expectations for yourself, and are you meeting them, or are you appeasing somebody else? So, until next time, keep striving and keep focusing on what is meant to be for you. You are listening to the Striving Butterfly podcast.