Tea With TJ
Welcome to Tea with TJ! A Podcast on self-discovery where our love for tea, conversation, a deeper understanding of life, and self-improvement intersect. Life is messy and sometimes you just need a cup of tea!
Tea With TJ
Navigating Life’s Challenges: Insights from Arnold Harper II
What happens when you take a leap of faith? Our guest, Arnold Harper II, did just that, leaving behind his job in Baltimore to pursue his dreams in New York City. From his humble beginnings, to his mother's undying support and an unexpected job offer, Arnold's inspiring journey is a testament to resilience and the transformative power of passion. This episode of Tea with TJ promises to leave you uplifted and motivated, as Arnold shares the pivotal moments that shaped his career as an actor, singer, and stylist.
Let's explore the profound effects of the pandemic on our social and mental well-being. Arnold and I discuss how the absence of social interactions during lockdown led to contrasting experiences—some found joy in close-knit living situations, while others grappled with isolation. We also tackle the complexities of readjusting to normalcy post-pandemic, from maintaining focus amid overwhelming circumstances to the surge of self-tape auditions. This candid conversation captures the shared and individual journeys of adaptation and healing during challenging times.
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Hey friends, it's TJ, and you're listening to Tea with TJ, where our love for tea, conversation and self-improvement intersect, so let's take a deeper dive into my cup and let's have a chat. Hey friends, it's TJ. Welcome back to another episode of Tea with TJ, and today I have Arnold Harper. Please introduce yourself for the folks listening and watching, hello everyone.
Arnold :I am arnold harper ii. I'm six one currently in new york city yes, late come on slate, yeah, now um, I'm a sunflower actor, singer, stylist, fashion enthusiast. Everyone's big cousin love it love it stylists fashion enthusiasts everyone's big cousin.
TJ:Love it, love it, sinclair James. Yeah, sinclair James, yeah, aw.
Arnold :That's me, I love it.
TJ:Yeah, so welcome to season three. We're in season three. Hey, boop boop, boop, boop boop Of Two of TJ. This has been a long time coming. I think I told you the other day that you were very much on the list of people that I was going to approach to be on this show. I am honored, so I'm very happy to finally have you here. I made it y'all, and there is something that I have been wanting to try out that I'm going to try with you, okay, and that is just because what I've realized in the past two seasons is that when I have guests, I know the guest but the audience does not know the guest, so we kind of just jump into the episode.
TJ:But I would love for you to just give me your story, like, tell me your story. Where are you from? Where did you grow up? You know? How did you end up in New York, all of that stuff.
Arnold :Okay, this is my favorite story. It's like one of my favorite stories. Born and raised in Baltimore, maryland, I got here seven years ago. July 1st was my anniversary date. I was, thank you. I was a leasing consultant in Baltimore, maryland, oh, wow. And I had just finished doing a community college version of of no, a community theater production of five guys named mo um. I don't know if you know the show, but I play eat mo and I sing don't let the sun catch you crying. And I get this big roaring applause and I start crying and it's like it's never happened to me before. Oh, wow. And I'm like, uh, okay.
Arnold :And I just heard and it's like it's never happened to me before and I'm like, uh, okay, and I just heard a voice being like you need to move to New York City to pursue this thing that you just you feel so, it feels so natural for you, it feels like you enjoy this and the people enjoy you, so make it a thing. I sat at my computer at my leasing desk the next day. I looked at my coworker and I was like, hey, I'm quitting, just so, you know, in two weeks I love that. And he thought I was lying. I had the note ready, wow, resignation ready, resignation ready. No job lined up, no, like no place. But I'm a leap of faith there. So, uh, my, my day off was, I think, monday. I was applying the jobs that week and, luckily, I got an email for an interview that filled that spot that monday. That was off. Wow, I had three interviews at three jobs.
Arnold :oh shit I looked at three places. Long story short. The third interview was like we'd like to offer you a job, oh, wow, okay. And the third apartment was like you seem like a good kid, you can move here. Okay, okay. And I said well, lord, you know, I guess I'm doing this thing. All right, come on universe Two weeks later. Okay, cha-cha, I move here with $50 to my name and a check that I was waiting for the following week. Wow, and.
Arnold :I was doing the thing. Jeez, wait, and when did you move here? July 1st 2017. Oh, wow, yes, and I was in Jersey City the first two weeks I was living there. I was on the floor sleeping on top of newspapers, well, but I was so happy, yeah, and I was here, yeah. Okay, and my parents were, you know, a little concerned. My mom was like don't you know she should be living like that. She bought me a little air mattress when she found out.
Arnold :And I was like, ma, I'm, I'm going to do this thing. And she said you know what Do you boo? And once I felt that support, I was like I can do anything.
TJ:Oh, I love that.
Arnold :And now I'm here. I love that. Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
TJ:Seven years later. That is amazing. So that kind of it's funny, because I know we went back and forth on the topic for the episode today.
Arnold :Yes, but hearing that story.
TJ:It actually is in alignment with the topic that you did kind of sort of choose. Yes, with the topic that you did kind of sort of choose, because I like every guest to choose their topic, because I'm like, whatever you can discuss and feel most comfortable talking about, it'll make for a good episode. And you chose lived experiences and how they've kind of shaped you and I feel like that's a perfect example of that. So I'm curious to know how, in thinking about this whole lived experience thing in moving to New, how, in thinking about this whole like lived experience thing in moving to new york in 2017, what?
TJ:because I I mean, I I'm on the socials and I get to watch and be witness and see what you're doing out in the world I'm so happy um to be witness to that, but I know that, like the, the struggles of a new york actor are real, very much so real, and I know and I feel like I saw something about this like a while ago.
Arnold :I feel like.
TJ:I saw something on your story about it a while ago about how people get to see all of the good stuff. Yeah, but no one actually ever sees the stuff that you go through and the amounts of the amounts of rejection and no's and and all the auditions yeah so what, what experiences have you had, um, prior to what I would consider this season being kind of like your, your flowering season right now?
TJ:yeah, um, like, what experiences have you had, um where you felt like you wanted to quit, or you felt like you just might have packed it up and left and like went back to baltimore, or if, if that existed for you, because I know that that's not the case for everybody- oh, it absolutely existed.
Arnold :It was the first year I moved here. So I I feel like like, yes, I, I am a, like I said I'm a leap of faith there. Like I feel like I'm like led, but my heart is pounding at the same time. And when I moved here I was like, oh, I'm gonna book Broadway the first year here. I'm gonna give it six months to a year and I'm gonna be a star like Barbra Streisand and casting and people were like, who are you kid? Maybe not. You got a couple more auditions to do that and it made me nervous because I'm like I had this job. That was cool, but I was like I came here to pursue theater and to like be an entertainer and that it wasn't as fast tracked as I thought it would be.
Arnold :So the nerves got kicked in and the doubt kicked in. I was like, oh, am I? Am I meant to do this? And then shout out to like the friends that I made along the way in that year, because you know, I was doing cabarets and then I would be meeting people and they'd be like come sing here, come sing here. And I found like healing in that.
TJ:And.
Arnold :I found a sense of belonging in the people I met along the way in those auditions and, you know, in the lounges and the you know stage door at the theaters, and I was like, oh, like, oh, okay, I can do this thing a little bit longer. I'm gonna cry when I get home, but when I, when I step out this apartment, okay, yeah, I'm gonna step with, enjoy, and you know I got business to take care of.
TJ:oh, yeah oh my god, I love that. Yeah, I, so I remember us. Finally, I feel like we circled each other for a very long time. Yes, yes, we did. And then, post pandemic was it 2020 or 21? I think it was 21? Yes, we finally sat down and like had a chat, yes, and like met up in person yeah uh, because I feel like we had been on each other's feeds for a while.
TJ:Yes, and I kept thinking. I was like who is this man? How have I not met this man? And we finally connected and set out. And I remember thinking how, excuse me, how warm you were and how receptive you were and how open you were. Yeah, and I remember thinking to myself I'm like, wow, these are the types of people that I want to interact with in this industry, Especially fast forward, working some jobs that I've worked since that moment and seeing some things where I've been like.
TJ:I don't know how we can continue to exist in this space with certain types of attitudes and personalities and egos. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Arnold :Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
TJ:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah idea of lived experiences and how it shaped you. What do you think has been like the biggest factor, um, that has contributed to like your personality, your view of life? Um, mantras, if you have those, what has really contributed to that?
Arnold :my family.
Arnold :Growing up, my grandmother always preached kindness and my mom like no matter what you're going through when you, when you, because you're going to meet those same people you know in your successes and you know when you're, when things aren't going so well, you're going to see those people and in my life in particular, the same people I had like a little tiff with or, like you know, know just a little disagreement, or you know, I might have, I might have met at I don't know some random store you know uptown, I'll see them downtown somewhere.
Arnold :And I'm like oh, ok, hey, hey, friend. So I think it's it's my family raised me to be kind and to know that, like, no matter what I'm going through to not necessarily if it's bad to not put that on people my grandmother was very complimentary, she would. She loved to make people's day. So if she saw somebody mad or upset. She'd look at me and be like baby, you got a pretty smile and I'm like they're not even smiling and they to smile and then that affects. You know what I mean?
Arnold :that's now their spirits are lifted even in that moment, and then they're gonna do that to other people and it's like a trickle trickle up effect if you will.
TJ:Yeah, I was gonna say I definitely have encountered that with you and experienced that both personally and amongst a group of people, and you have you've always been so complimentary and so um present with people, which I've enjoyed yeah I've enjoyed so much about you and like being in your, in your space with you I love people, I do, no matter how complicated we may be.
Arnold :I mean, you know, you know, at the end of the day I don't think we're that complicated. Just you want love, good food and you know Netflix special.
TJ:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, um, I, I feel like there's. The world we live in now has unfortunately become very cynical. Yeah, um, and I, I. I share this idea with you that you know, I also love people. I love interacting with people. I love good people. Yes, you know, there there's something about the human connection and there's something about in-person connections. The pandemic was one of those moments where I didn't realize, until I was in it, how much I depended upon those interactions with people oh yes, um, you know, it fed me in a way like it fed my soul.
TJ:Yeah, um, and so once that was gone yeah, having to figure out how to interact with people and get that um sense of fulfillment that I was getting with being with people in person, there was no way to like yeah, it's like there was no way to do it yeah and I feel like one of the I think you might have been one of the first people that I saw outside post-pandemic like when I came back to New York.
Arnold :What yeah, yeah, special yeah, yeah oh, and I was like oh god, this is.
TJ:Yeah, oh my gosh.
Arnold :What a moment, what a time, what a time. The blessing in my life around that time Was like I was living with my best friend, so like we would. Just we would cook and just like sit around and laugh and talk and we'd watch a TV show and then, once we stopped laughing, they'd be like I'm going to bed, good night. So it was like every night.
TJ:And I was like thank you, god.
Arnold :I know that wasn't for everybody. Shout out to people who weren't but like oh, that was. That was my lived experience at that time, so I was able to kind of like yeah, oh my gosh, be joyful and do a little healing. And then, once we got out, I was like oh okay, I'll see you next Thursday at 3 pm. Okay, no, you have a self-tape. Okay, that's okay. Oh well, we'll figure it out, yeah.
TJ:Yeah, it's interesting that time was very, very specific and I think, again going back to this whole lived experience bubble that we're in right now, yeah. That moment, I think, shaped so many of our lives, both good and bad. Yes, Because I think and I think I've had this conversation with a few people already- yeah, but the pandemic? Definitely shaped our lives in a way that for some people forgot how to interact, yes, with people face to face.
TJ:Yes, and how to be gracious and to to be present with others in an actual physical space.
TJ:But then some other people bloomed, some people dove into themselves and really did a lot of healing and a lot of, you know, internal work down, um, uh-huh, down in the depths of their soul. Um, I feel like that's that I sit in this place, where being in the pandemic, in the thick of it, because I think I was fortunate enough and it's not lost on me. I feel like I was fortunate enough. There was a chunk of time where I was actually isolated in Florida. And then, when I came back to New York, yeah, when I finally was like, okay, disney is done, yeah, there is no coming back, I can finally go back to New York, and I had someone with me daily, yes, but that that little time in Florida where I was in that room by myself, my roommate was gone and it was just me and my dog, there were some moments where I was like I don't know what I should be doing, like I feel like I should be taking this time to write a play, or to read a book or whatever.
Arnold :Yeah.
TJ:And I was like I can't, my mind can't focus. Yes, have you ever felt like you've had one of those moments in your life whether it be in the pandemic or not where there's just so much going on and you seem like you can't focus or you can't see through the moment that you're in?
Arnold :um, has that been? I? I want to say yes, it's happened, you know.
Arnold :You know, I think in in the like after the all of a sudden there were so many um, oh no, like during the break of the pandemic, and theaters were like we're back, but wear a mask. All of a sudden you get like these, all these self-tapes, and you're like, well, um, but wait, I'm still thinking, I'm still. And then you're like, well, I have to be off book. What is a self tape? How do you tilt your phone? I don't, what's the lighting? I'm awkward. I think that was that time when I was like should I be doing this right now when people are dying? I don't know. So I think that was my time. I was like we should be doing that because people need to experience joy and peace and we need to share that with people in this dark time where people are losing loved ones and people they care about.
Arnold :You know life is short. Loved ones, the people they care about you know life is short, yeah.
TJ:So yeah, we gotta be push happy, push knowledge on top of happy and joy, or just like not happy but joy, yeah and peace yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah yeah, I think that is one of the that was the word that stuck out to me post pandemic the most was joy and how to find it and how to keep it.
TJ:Because I think I realized during that time, in this whole kind of like figuring out, where my life was I think at that point I had just turned 30. So I was approaching 31, and very much arrived at a place where I thought, you know, post coming out of Disney, the gates were going to open for me, you know, and I thought that Broadway was going to be around the corner, a national tour is going to be around the corner, and then everything shut down, and so I had to pivot and figure out, you know, what is life, how do I move on? Because prior to that moment, broadway had never done that before. Like, sure, sure, a flood here, a tornado there, a snowstorm here, we shut down for a night but a night not for an extended amount of time where there's literally just nothing happening.
TJ:And so, coming back from that, I was like, oh, I actually need to figure out how to live without this. And the crazy thing is that I'm actually really grateful for that moment, because now this is an unpopular opinion, but now I feel like, even though I love theater, even though I love live theater and musical theater, and there is nothing like being on stage Right, we preface by saying that there is nothing like being on a stage, there is nothing like performing on a stage, there's nothing like performing eight shows a week and I know some people don't necessarily want to do eight a week.
Arnold :That's the fight. Words right, but I.
TJ:I thoroughly enjoy it. However, I think being in that space where we were completely in a drought opened my eyes to be very aware and conscious of. I have to figure out, I have to figure out a way to do something else so that when and if this happens again, I'm not sitting here in the dark again Crying under a blanket yeah, because I feel like a lot of us were you know shit out of luck. Unfortunately, it's like TV and film had not come back yet. The most, I think, the the most work I had an opportunity to even audition for was voiceover work, because you can do it from home, yeah, and so that opened up a whole industry that I was kind of tiptoeing around originally because theater was such the focus, yes, but after that experience I booked a voiceover job, I think I. I think it happened around the time that we hung out that time but, come on manifestation, you know, let's speak it over your life.
Arnold :Well, um.
TJ:But after that experience I was like, oh, like I actually really enjoyed this, like this is something that I can do from anywhere. I can live on a farm and do this. I don't have to live in a cramped one by one box in New York City just to live my dreams. Like I can tell stories behind the mic, I can create characters behind the mic, like I can do all of this stuff and I can go outside and no one will know who I am, no one will care.
TJ:Like I can do all of this stuff and I can go outside and no one will know who I am, no one will care. Did you ever have any type of realizations or revelations when it came to theater, whether it be during the pandemic or even in your blossoming season? Now, like, are you having any realizations where you feel I could do this, you know, or this is a non-negotiable now, because I've experienced this? Like, what has it been?
Arnold :like for you. You know, it's interesting. I had this random thought I was scrolling and I was looking at something. Oh, I was looking at this like uh, this photo of these models at a laundromat and I was like I could be like a launch, like I could own a laundromat, and I feel like that would bring me peace. I think it's because, like being around like clothes and warm, like warm and hearing I know something as simple as like a noise on a machine and like me holding the clothes and holding them, like I feel like I could do that. Okay, I love theater too.
TJ:I love it a lot.
Arnold :Yeah, um, but it's not like the end of the. I feel like I can do other things and I feel like the pandemic kind of helped me explore that Also. I love fashion, so like styling became a thing, kind of like in the midst of that too, because I was like styling people on the wall for photo shoots and stuff like that. So I was like okay, I have other venues that I can, I can explore and I kind of am interested in like now, like hosting too, which is like I don't know like that could be a thing.
TJ:Yeah, absolutely yeah, yeah, I could totally see that too, you know.
Arnold :But also what made me think, oh, when I did waitress I was like, oh, I could be a server. So I think, long story short, for me it's anything dealing with people or uplifting people. Being in contact with people, I can make their day. I love that long story I feel like that is. That is yeah the calling, and people are everywhere, so I'm like you can go anywhere. I won take that oh yeah, um.
TJ:So I want to talk about your experience as a stylist, because I don't think I have had the opportunity. I've seen it you know, as you've posted things, but we've never had a conversation about it. I'm curious to know, like, how did you fall into that? What like, what prompted the idea or the? What was the trigger that like put you out into that?
Arnold :So I am a Virgo and I have a lot of opinions. I grew up with, like I said, my grandmother, mother who would like take me um drifting every weekend, growing up and that was the thing that was.
Arnold :That was like my, my like vacation of florida, if you will. You know, my grandmother would show me fabrics and be like, put this on, put that on, and it like built up to me moving to New York City and like telling my friends, I think you look cute in this, try this. And then Denise Manning shout out to Denise Manning, she was the one she had an award show she was going to I think it was the Helen Hayes award. She was the one she had an award show she was going to, I think it was the helen hayes award. Um, she was like arnold, do you like this dress? And I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All of a sudden I'm like put these, this shoes go with this and these areas go with this put your hair up.
Arnold :You're pretty pretty. Women should have their hair up and out of their face.
TJ:That was. That was what I told her um, because she's stunning.
Arnold :Uh, and that was that started it. And then fast track to when the pandemic broke, nasia thomas, another cousin. Nasia thomas, um, she was like hey, arnold drew um, drew shade of a browie black. Is uh doing a shoot at a day in the life. Can you stop me for it? I said, girl, absolutely, you have been my dream person of style since I saw her in. Ain't Too Proud.
Arnold :I was like oh what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that became a thing and she posted she was like Arnold, stop me down. And she posted she was like Arnold, stop me down. And then literally people Kept like messaging me and I was like yes, yes, yes, and it's been, I've been saying yes for a while and it led to.
Arnold :you know, sis, and Martavius Parrish Neese Manning. So you know, kayla Davion, I don't know. So yeah, and Martavius Parrish Neese Manning. So you know I love it. Kayla Davion, I don't know. So yeah, I love that. That's how it just happened. I just say yes, well, come on, you're calling and people always mention like fashion and me styling to them. So I think, like you know what a calling, like you're, people kind of speak. Your calling to you like like you, you know what it is, but like the voice, so like things start happening, yeah, so say yes yeah, say yes.
TJ:Yeah, there you go, jesus. Yeah, oh my gosh, you know I am very much in alignment with that, like that is. It's something that I started, I think in what year was that Whatever I did, clifford, I did a children's theater tour. Clifford, the Big Red Dog, that's on my list really yes, because children are vocal, they're vocal when they like it. They'll tell you if it's funny, it is funny when it's sad, it is sad you know, sometimes adults are like, my kids are like.
Arnold :So yeah, that's on my list. So I did Clifford the Big Red Dog and it was the my kids are like.
TJ:Ha ha, ha ha so yeah, that's on my list. There you go, I, uh. So I did, clifford the Big Red Dog and I. It was the year that Shonda Rhimes book Year of yes came out and I read that cause it was a. I mean, the budget was not big, but we had to drive from place to place, so we took turns driving and on my days off where I didn't have to, drive.
TJ:I would just be sitting in the back reading that book Because we would have to pull out of a city you know in two hours and then drive somewhere else and be there by the same day to do the show From Maryland to Texas.
Arnold :Pretty much, pretty much Got it Pretty much.
TJ:God bless you. And so I needed things to occupy my mind, because it's like Lord Jesus, I just cannot look at cornfields all day today. I can't. I can't do it, but I remember reading that book and I remember her whole story. Have you ever read it? Not, but I want to. It's a good read, it's an easy read, it's super quick.
TJ:But I remember reading it and that whole concept of just saying yes. Yeah, she challenged herself in that book to for I think it was for a year to say yes to everything, no matter what it was, no matter how scary it was or how uncomfortable it made her to just say yes. And I looked at my life in that moment and I was like you know what it? I've definitely said a, said no to a lot of things that I felt like I wasn't right for or that I was uncomfortable about doing, or because it didn't pay enough, or blah, blah, blah, blah. The list goes on and on. Yes, yes, um. And I remember reading that and after that being able to say yes to things and figuring out I'm like, oh, if I actually say yes, if I come into into the world, into the universe, into this space open, yeah, the things that I actually want will show up.
Arnold :Come on in the things that.
TJ:I've been searching for the things that I've been pursuing actually finally arrive, because I'm actually open, open to it. So I love that. I love all of that because I'm very much trying to operate and continue to operate in that space. This whole industry is hard and sometimes it's difficult to want to say yes, because New York is not an easy place to live and unfortunately, with the world we live in, we have to figure out how to pay bills.
Arnold :Okay, right, you can't pay your bills on exposure, right?
TJ:yeah, slow staff, yeah, tips tea but yeah, so before we go, we do this thing on t with tj, where I ask you three questions unrelated to the topic, okay, I call it the last three Answer how freely or not freely you would like to, unrelated to the topic, just to give the audience a little negative knowledge. Okay, you ready. Negative knowledge.
Arnold :Yeah.
TJ:What brings you the most peace.
Arnold :What brings me the most peace?
TJ:Laughter, hearing people laugh, okay, um, yeah okay, um, where do you find joy in the world?
Arnold :um facetiming family and friends in the world. Facetiming family and friends or sitting on a friend's couch in a sweatset.
TJ:Okay, yes, I love a good sweatset.
Arnold :Shout out to Paul. Y'all, Paul is here I know.
TJ:Oh my God, thank God. And then final question when do you feel your heart lives?
Arnold :that's a tough one. Oh my god. I want to say it's like with me wherever I go, but then it's also where my family, my friends are. It's in a couple of different places. It's when I see someone like crying on the subway station. I don't want to like live in my heart more, like on a theater, on the stage, right here in this moment.
TJ:I'm like, I want to like share my heart, or like on a theater, on a stage, like right here in this moment.
Arnold :I'm like I want to like share my heart um, so it's everywhere.
TJ:I love it I love that answer. I don't know, is that corny? No, no, no, okay, that's good, I love it. That's a beautiful answer, thank you, um, thank you so much for doing this. Thank you, this has been great um it has. Where can the folks find you?
Arnold :you can find me at Arnold Harper I I everywhere.
TJ:Love it, love it, and then I also love to just give space, for is there anything we did not discuss that you feel like has been in your heart or on your heart, that you want to share in this moment?
Arnold :um, no, no, no, okay, no, um. I just I hope people can like find joy wherever they can, and if they don't have it, I hope, I hope they get it, I hope they give it, get it, I love bit I hope any negative thing or it just like ceases, like it goes away. No you learn from it and move on perfect yeah, perfect.
TJ:Well, that's it well, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you again for doing this. Um, this will not be your last time on the podcast I'm saying that out loud right now. Hopefully not, um, but with that, thanks so much for listening, friends, and I will see you next week and that's our show. Friends, thanks for joining us on Tea with TJ. Please rate, review and subscribe, and you can find us on Instagram at Tea with TJ podcast. And, as always, stay kind, keep sipping and remember we're here, so we might as well do it.
