Manders Mindset
Are you feeling stuck or stagnant in your life? Do you envision yourself living differently but have no idea how to start? The answer might lie in a shift in your mindset.
Hosted by Amanda Russo, The Breathing Goddess, who is a Breathwork Detox Facilitator, Transformative Mindset Coach, and Divorce Paralegal.
Amanda's journey into mindset and empowerment began by working with children in group homes and daycares. She later transitioned to family law, helping people navigate the challenging emotions of divorce. During this time, Amanda also overcame her own weight and health challenges through strength training, meditation, yoga, reiki, and plant medicine.
Amanda interviews guests from diverse backgrounds, including entrepreneurs, athletes, artists, and wellness experts, who share their incredible journeys of conquering fears and limiting beliefs to achieve remarkable success. Hear real people tell how shifting their mindsets—and often their words—has dramatically changed their lives.
Amanda also shares her personal journey, detailing how she transformed obstacles into opportunities by adopting a healthier, holistic lifestyle.
Discover practical strategies and inspiring stories that will empower you to break free from limitations and cultivate a mindset geared towards growth and positivity.
Tune in for a fun, friendly, and empowering experience that will help you become the best version of yourself.
Manders Mindset
From Confused to Clear: How Giovanna Silvestre Found Peace in the Chaos | 131
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Can embracing your confusion lead to the clarity you've been chasing?
In this powerful episode of Manders Mindset, host Amanda Russo sits down with Giovanna Silvestri, author of Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos and founder of the activewear and lifestyle brand Confused Girl in the City. Known for her raw honesty and grounded wisdom, Giovanna shares how embracing confusion became the most important step in discovering who she truly is.
From walking away from a high powered Hollywood career to writing her book while living abroad with just one suitcase, Giovanna opens up about the real work behind healing, self-worth, and starting over. She shares rituals for releasing shame, insights on emotional clutter, and her refreshing take on romantic relationships and modern womanhood. As she puts it:
“We have to find a level of self-worth in ourselves that isn't attached to anything else, so that even if everything gets taken away, you still feel worthy to exist in this world.”
In this episode, listeners will learn:
🌊 Why confusion isn’t failure — it’s a portal to personal realignment
🧘♀️ How a simple daily ritual helped Giovanna release years of shame
🧠 The connection between clutter, anxiety, and mindset
💬 Why emotional intelligence is key to navigating modern relationships
📖 How she wrote a life-changing book across Bali and Berlin
💡 The difference between wanting success vs. needing it for self-worth
🕒 Timeline Summary:
[1:27] – Giovanna reflects on her core identity beyond labels
[6:35] – From Hollywood highs to hitting a breaking point
[11:06] – Self-worth, rejection, and doing the real inner work [19:25] Decluttering shame and physical space for clarity
[26:57] The chapters she almost didn’t include and why they mattered
[33:07] Unfiltered insight on dating, emotional gaps, and human connection
[39:42] Why Bali became the backdrop for healing and writing
To Connect with Giovanna:
📘 Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos – Available at Amazon, Target & Barnes & Noble
📲 Follow Giovanna on Instagram: @ConfusedGirlLA
🌐 Website & Shop: confusedgirlinthecity.com
🎁 Pre-order Bonus: Win a 2-night Maui stay + $100 gift card to her online store
To Connect with Amanda:
Schedule a 1:1 Virtual Breathwork Session HERE
📸 Instagram: @thebreathinggoddess
Follow & Support the Podcast:
📱 Instagram: @MandersMindset
👥 Join the Manders Mindset Facebook Community HERE
Confusion isn’t the end — it’s the beginning of a deeper alignment.
If the episode resonates, don’t forget to leave a five-star rating, write a quick review, and share it with someone who needs this reminder today.
Welcome to the Manders Mindset Podcast. Here you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers and a variety of other people when your host, Amanda Russo, will discuss her own mindset and perspective and her guest's mindset and perspective on the world around us. Manders and her guests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Amanda's Mindset, where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life. As always, I'm your host, amanda Russo, and I'm so excited for today's guest. I am here with Giovanni Silvestri, and she is the founder of Confused Girl in the City, an international activewear brand inspired by healing crystals and the journey of self-discovery. Her work has been featured on NBC, forbes and LA Yoga. She's a former entertainment industry professional turned wellness entrepreneur. She is also a lifestyle influencer and an author. She wrote an amazing book, confused Girl Find your Peace in the Chaos, which is available now, and I'm so excited to speak with her. Thanks for joining me.
Speaker 3:Thank you for having me, of course.
Speaker 2:So who would you say? Joanna is at the core. Who?
Speaker 3:am I at the core? I would say that I'm a very curious person, a creative person, a curious person, someone that really likes to explore life, observe life and enjoy life. Oh my God, Did it just do a little thumbs down? Yeah, why the like? Like, if I do certain man movements, it does something. Usually it gives me a thumbs up or balloons or something. I don't like this thumbs down situation. I've never seen that before. Thumbs down, you're curious. Thanks a lot.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, it's treating me hard. I've never seen that before.
Speaker 3:This happens to me, but it usually always gives me a thumbs up. I guess it didn't like my answer, so whatever.
Speaker 2:Have you always been a curious person?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was a very curious child. I was one of those annoying kids that asked why, well, why my parents are like shut up? It's just because, yeah, I always was curious about things. I'd always ponder things and then when I was at 10 years old I started writing poetry. I entered poetry contests. It's really interesting when you kind of go back to childhood before you became a full-fledged adult and you've been brainwashed by society and all the things. It's interesting to kind of see how you were like, ask your parents how you were and remember the things you gravitated toward, because I never thought I would write a book, go into school for business. I didn't go to school for writing. I didn't consider myself a writer, but I wrote poetry when I was 10 years old and won contests for it. So it's just interesting how as we are as a child shows us a lot about how we might become as adults, before we're maybe pushed in another direction.
Speaker 2:Now childhood, your family dynamic. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Any siblings?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so my father is actually from the south of Italy, he's from a town close to Napoli, and my mother is Irish American, and so they met in California and got married and opened up an Italian restaurant, and so I actually grew up working in my parents' Italian restaurant, which, honestly, growing up that was just normal. But nowadays I feel like you hardly ever see families working in restaurants together, especially in California. Everything's kind of owned by a group or an organization. I mean, I would say my family was the best when we were working together. We didn't know how to actually enjoy each other and have fun outside of work. We were a good working family and our lives did revolve around the restaurant.
Speaker 3:Did you go to college? I went to USC University of Southern California, and so that's when I moved to Los Angeles and I got a degree in global business, and then after that the cool thing to do back in the day which is really kind of not the cool thing anymore was to work in Hollywood. You know that's kind of what everybody was doing and the networking was great and the parties were amazing. So I started working in the entertainment industry and it was a great experience. It was definitely and I write about this in my book. It was like a school of life.
Speaker 3:I learned a lot about different personalities and about myself and about what I wanted and I am a very sensitive soul about what I wanted and I am a very sensitive soul and the narcissism and the egos and navigating that was a lot. I was good at that because I grew up also in a family business where you encountered a lot of different people at a very young age, so I knew how to deal with people. But I'm like I don't want to deal with these people. It kind of got to a point I was in it for quite a few years and I'm like is this going to be my life? Is this what? This is what my life is going to be? And there's just so many like ups and downs. I just didn't see myself in it. I was like, okay, I'm going to take a break and I'm going to go home to my parents' restaurant and I'm going to see if I want to take over their restaurant, because it was a successful restaurant and my parents had it for 30 years.
Speaker 2:How old were you? Oh, how long ago was this.
Speaker 3:This was. I was at this time when I went back to my parents' restaurant I was like 26. Okay, so I'd been working in the entertainment industry after college, so like 21 to 26. And I had gotten high up. I worked on huge projects, worked with a lot of celebrities, like I was going to all the film festivals and stuff. I got very high up. But then I went to the restaurant.
Speaker 3:I thought maybe I'd take that over, because there is a pressure. If you're like a child of an immigrant and they started a business and there's you feel this pressure to take it over, it would kind of feel awful for them to just sell it, you know. So I did that and, oh my gosh, I was miserable. I tried to convince myself that I loved it and it was great and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't. And I was dating this guy too, who's a great guy I mean handsome, made good money, great body like treated me like a little princess. Honestly, I've never dated someone after him that treated me so well, because after him, that's when online dating started and the whole world changed and I think all the good guys got married like him, you know, like good guys like him got married. So I just I don't regret my decision to break up and I don't regret my decision to leave the restaurant, because my life I wouldn't be where I am right now, which has been such an incredible adventure, and I feel like this is my life and it feels very aligned. And that's the interesting thing too is when I look at all of this, I was like how I said when I was a child, I was creative, I was writing poetry and I remember my mom's cousins asked me as a kid they're like do you want to get married, do you want to have kids?
Speaker 3:What do you want to do? I said I want to travel the world. I had no interest in marriage and kids, where my sister was like I want to get married and have kids and that's what she did, right, but my interest was really like more of this adventurous life, just at my pure nature level, and I really tried to go against that. I tried the entertainment industry because it was cool and I was creative, but I wasn't really doing anything creative in it. And then I tried the family business, because that's like security.
Speaker 3:And then I have this amazing guy and then we'll stay here, we'll have kids, and this is what life is supposed to be like. This is what everybody wants. This is the dream right everybody wants. This is a dream right. But yet I was miserable and I felt like I was a zombie in my own body, like I was just going through the motions of life. I wasn't really like alive in my life and that was really hard to let that go, because it was really scary. Because after I let that go, I came back to LA and I had nothing.
Speaker 2:Sorry to interrupt you. How long were you back at the restaurant? Two years.
Speaker 3:So it was like five years in the entertainment industry, two years at my parents' business, to come back to LA broke, no romantic partner, to have no idea what I want to do with my life, feel like I haven't accomplished anything, I have no direction and I don't even know who I am, because everything I've been doing has been I thought I should be doing, or it looked cool, or that's what I was supposed to do, and I was just a mess and I entered this big depression and I realized that I have to stop trying to find my self-worth outside of myself. That was number one, and I think this is so huge and I think maybe this is one of the most important parts of my book is that I really do believe for all of us, we have to find a level of self-worth in ourselves that isn't attached to anything else, so that, even if everything gets taken away from you, you still feel worthy to exist in this world world. And I don't think a lot of people have that, because they're constantly feeling like, oh, I have to make more money to feel good about myself, or I have to have the guy to feel good about myself, or I have to have the car, whatever it is. You know it's always something out there, but if you don't have it in here, once you get that thing that you thought you wanted, you're going to want something else, and then you're just on this hamster wheel of wanting things that you don't have, and that's miserable. However, it's okay to desire and want things. I still desire and want things and I go after things, but I'm not desperate about it. I'm not desperate about it. For instance, with my book.
Speaker 3:I left the country. I wrote this book in Bali and Berlin, came back, got an agent and I left just going my soul needs to write this book. I had no idea what was going to happen with it. It's not like I had anybody interested in it. Came back, got an agent and the agent had it for two and a half years and I was just rejected. And it was like rejection. My self-worth never was questioned at this time.
Speaker 3:Like I thought, maybe, okay, I might have to go in a different direction, I might have to self-publish, maybe it won't get published. I thought, maybe, okay, I might have to go in a different direction, I might have to self-publish, maybe it won't get published. I thought that, but I never thought I'm less than because I don't get this published. I'm not good enough in some way, because I had done the work and then it ended up getting published. So I mean divine timing, which I also write about. My father was dying of cancer and two months before he passed away, two publishing companies had a bidding war on my book, and so I got a bigger advance than I ever thought I would get. I mean, the whole experience has just been out of this world, amazing, and I thought, oh, I'm going to have to self-publish, like nobody wants to publish me. And so when you desire something but not be controlled by it, and just let it go and let it do what it's going to do, that makes so much sense.
Speaker 2:Now, you mentioned you did the inner work. What inner work did you do? Can you elaborate on that?
Speaker 3:oh my, god, years later, get the book, ladies, get the book. So okay, the inner work. Well, first it started with acknowledging that I was confused, and I stopped being ashamed about being confused because I felt like I didn't have anything anymore. So I didn't care so much about what people thought of me anymore because I was like, okay fine, I'm a loser, I don't have all the things that I thought I should have, okay, fine. So I kind of let that go, like caring so much about what people thought, so I let that go. And then I go well, I'm confused, you know.
Speaker 3:And what's wrong with being confused? I mean, aren't we all confused to a certain degree? Nobody is born with a roadmap on how to do their life. It's like oh, amanda, you know, make friends with these people, avoid these people. Definitely don't date that guy. You definitely want to date this. I mean, no one tells you these things. You know, it's such a crazy. Our lives are all just. We're just these little warriors on these journeys and our life is one great experiment and instead of being scared of it, it's like just embrace, that's what it is and be like a little investigator and start being interested in investigating your own life. So I understood that. I was like, okay, I'm going to accept this confusion, I'm not going to be ashamed of it anymore, and I started kind of realizing certain things.
Speaker 3:I did have shame around and guilt around and I started doing things to let that go and like one thing I did was walk on the beach and I would imagine I had a backpack on full of things I was ashamed about. We carry, especially as women. We carry a lot of shame. I'm men do too, though it's different. We carry a lot of shame around our sexuality around, even like our periods. You know it's like, oh, hide the tampons. You know it can be even like generational shame. It could be even with your family and like you know you're wearing a nice dress and maybe some man's like staring at you and be, oh, I shouldn't have worn this, you know. You know I think we've all yeah, no, even like the tampon.
Speaker 2:Shame. I remember when I was first getting my period and it's like oh, you put it in a little makeup bag when you walk into the bathroom, like at school, so somebody doesn't see it that a female has a period Like it's like it's we'd all know now.
Speaker 3:And then, even when we have our periods, it's like we can get a little crazy because our hormones it's like if I injected a man with a ton of hormones he got crazy too. So it's just our hormones are just going crazy. And then, and instead of our parents also telling us this and our teachers telling us this, is normal that you feel like this, it's normal to get depressed, it's normal to feel this way. Here are some strategies to get yourself through it. Here's some meditations that we.
Speaker 3:I remember growing up, thinking once a month I was legitimately crazy, there was something legitimately wrong with me. And then you kind of get shamed if you, if you get a little hotheaded or you get a little irritated or like, ooh, what's wrong with you, you know. And it's like irritated or like, oh, what's wrong with you? And it's like we got freaking periods and some people have them worse than others. I do. I have that P in P of DD which is like just means you have really like intense emotional ones.
Speaker 3:Anyway, going back to the shame part, we carry a lot of shame about a lot of stuff. It could be even generational, you know. It's like shame from your family that you took on. So I was like this needs to go, because this was like a little cloud over my head, this little shadow that followed me, and so I would walk by the beach. I would imagine all of my shame in a backpack and I would put my back to the water and I would just like release the backpack, this imaginary backpack, and I would imagine it going into the water and being taken away by the waves, and I would do this every day and it was like I felt after doing this for a while, it's like I felt lighter and lighter and then eventually it was just gone. That's why I think these rituals and things like this are incredibly powerful, incredibly powerful. They actually do work.
Speaker 2:I like that. I really like analogies as well, and even like the visual of like you're letting it go, like like the visual of like you're letting it go, like it's on your back and you are letting it go. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because it was like a heaviness on me and I realized some of this stuff isn't even mine to carry. Some of it was like growing up Catholic. Some of it was from my family. It's not like I'm a serial killer that needs to feel bad about something. I really haven't done anything that bad. It was interesting because, kind of going on that journey too, there were certain things I felt guilty about and if I still had somebody's contact number, I actually did call them or write them an email to apologize. And some people got back to me. Some people didn't, which is fine, that's normal, you know but I was doing it as kind of this release to be good with myself. I wanted to be good with myself. I think that's a very important thing for all of us to be able to look yourself in the mirror and feel good about it.
Speaker 2:Definitely I like how you mentioned about the ritual. I want to transition a tad. In the book you mentioned about clutter and about the mindset around clutter and I loved your ritual of before you buy something, you get rid of something else, yes, yes, and love that. Love that Like I could never explain, like the science around the energy of clutter. But oh, my God, I talk about that a lot, like in different instances, like you feel the anxiety of like too much shit Excuse my language, but like too much shit, like I feel it and it's like an energy and people are like what do you mean? It's an energy.
Speaker 3:Oh it is. Oh, it definitely is. And I really understood that because my mother is like a mini hoarder. She doesn't mean to be, it's not like our houses. I mean, you know her house is beautiful and it's clean and everything, but it's just so much stuff everywhere. It's everywhere. You can't open up a drawer without it being full to the brink with stuff. And growing up like that, I didn't like it and I didn't understand it and I think that's also a very generational thing.
Speaker 3:I think that generation also. They inherited like their grandma's China and then their mother's China and then their mother's armoire, and then you know all of these things they inherited and they kept. You know which is sweet and all, but it's like, oh my gosh, I'm going to inherit like some China and some like the armoire is going I might keep the China, you know, and even like special silverware that you have to polish, that you only use at holidays. It's just this stuff that our generation doesn't care for, it doesn't really have that. They just like kept everything. And I mean my mom still had like my Barbie boat from when I was a kid. I had a Barbie boat, I had like a Barbie house. She still had like all of that stuff. It's oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:So I actually was inspired to write that chapter because of her, because I see how overwhelmed she is all the time and how much anxiety she has all the time, because and another thing she has like the nicest appliances in her kitchen. My appliances are 20 years old but they still work right and they're just like average appliances. My dishwasher doesn't need a special dishwashing thing. My mom's dishwasher needs special salt. That is hard to get. By the way, there's like one shop in our town that actually had this. You had to pre-order it. Okay, then she would have to like put this special salt in and then run this special dishwasher. And this dishwasher just beeped like crazy. I was like this is the most annoying dishwasher I have ever seen.
Speaker 3:Also, with her cappuccino machine also very annoying. It was like built into the wall and it just always needed something and it would tell you you know, I need to be defiltered, I need this. And she couldn't just pour like tap water in it. She had to get like filtered good water In my cappuccino machine. I just get my tap water and pour it in there, no big deal.
Speaker 3:So I was like, wow, with expensive things comes a lot of maintenance, and I was like I don't understand how this is luxury Like. Luxury for me is less work, not more work. Yeah, luxury for me is like cleaning like a few things, not like a ton of things. So my definition of what luxury is and what I value really was kind of defined by a lot of my mother's stuff. I went in the opposite direction and then what was the real pivotal point for me, where I really realized you really don't need that much, is when I left the country for two years and I rented out my place. I left when you went to Bali, yes, and I left with just a suitcase, a backpack, my laptop and I left.
Speaker 2:Did you know you were going for two years?
Speaker 3:I thought I was going to go for a year. I didn't think two years, but I'm so happy I did because I left in 2018. So I got to do it before COVID and everything changed so much after COVID. I was really happy to experience Southeast Asia and even Europe for a year, before COVID Only for a year, and then Berlin for a year, and I just really realized, you know, wow, I'm living such a good life out of one suitcase, you know, and you need more moisturizer. You go to the store, you buy more moisturizer. You need more shampoo. You go buy shampoo. You kind of just need like the basic things. And then when I came home, I was almost kind of disgusted about how much we like everybody had to have, because we don't even realize it, you know, and we think we have to have this and this. It actually life is a lot more freeing. Life was really freeing out of a suitcase.
Speaker 2:So did you become more minimalistic, opposed to your travels?
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely, I already was, but I definitely became more minimalistic and that's when I came up with the ritual, because I just have one suitcase. And it's when I came up with the ritual because I just have one suitcase and it's really annoying to travel with too much stuff. So when I did buy something, I would give away something else, and that became my little ritual.
Speaker 2:I think that's sweet and sentimental too. You know you're giving away something. Even besides the clutter, it's a nice gesture, you know.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I think it's a really great thing to do and I still do it. Like I clean my house, but like I'll have a cleaning lady come once a month for a deep clean, cause I'm not good at the deep clean. I can't you know, I can't get the house to smell like what they do when they come in and do it. It's like the house just smells and feels so clean. I'm like I can't do that, no matter how hard I try. I just am not talented in that arena. So once a month she comes and Alejandra comes and she'll leave with just a bag full of stuff like shoes, clothes, treat, whatever she always knows. Okay, like I'm going to leave with some stuff. You take it or give it to people. You know I just I actually love giving away stuff. It feels so good.
Speaker 2:I agree. Now you mentioned you wrote your book when you were in Bali and when you were in Berlin. Yes, you didn't do any writing elsewhere.
Speaker 3:Well, okay, I mean that was the core of the book, right, okay. But then when I came back and I did my book proposal, I ended up changing the name of it because the name was at first I was going to name it Seven Things Every Confused Girl Should Do, and then me and my agent we were pondering and then it was just like it's a little clunky, and then I came up with Confused Girl Find your Peace in the Chaos, which I like better because I want to keep Confused Girl. I actually would love to make Confused Girl a series. I think she deserves a series. So it's great how that turned out. But it's like everything just kind of naturally evolved.
Speaker 3:And then when the publishers got the book, you know there was a lot of rewriting I had to do and I ended up adding two chapters. I added the chapter about minimalism the one that you mentioned that was inspired by my mom because she's not a minimalist and then I make fun of her in it too and I read it to her and she's such a good laugh. You know my mom has that irish humor. You know she's like oh, my God, that's so funny. She thought it was so funny that I wrote about her.
Speaker 3:And then chapter nine, decoding romantic relationships. I wasn't going to bring in relationship stuff but it's such a huge part of my life like dating and figuring out that and I think it's such a huge part of so many women's lives, especially because so many of women now are single. You know I need to share some tips on this because I am a master dater Like I have dated all over the world. People are like, oh, it's so bad in LA. I'm like honey, it's bad everywhere. Okay, like this is not just an LA problem. I have been around the world and back and it's a man problem. I know that's about. Well, the men will say it's a woman problem. So we're all talking trash about each other at this point.
Speaker 2:But you weren't going to include the minimalist or the relationship one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it wasn't originally in the manuscript no.
Speaker 2:Wow, I think it's really fitting and really good that you did, because I think the confusion even ties into the middle of them. Even like your mom, maybe not knowing, is it time to part with this? My mom struggles with the same, like even the well this is from so and so, mom, you were not even close to them just because, give it to you, we're gonna keep it forever and I'm like the energy of like you, don't like her, but here's this chest that we're gonna stick in the basement and I'm gonna try to throw out in 30 years no, I know it's very much like that.
Speaker 3:it's like they attach their sentimental value to material things like hardcore. I have sentimental value toward my dad's jewelry and maybe some pieces of clothes that he had right, so those to me are precious and I would be so sick if they were stolen or lost or something like that. But other than that I don't like tie too much sentimental value to furniture and stuff like that. I don't care about that. But like our mom's generation, they did oh yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I think, even though I didn't relate per se to the confusion part of the stuff, I was like my mom would so understand that. Like she's confused, like, do we keep this? Do we not understand this? Like she's confused, like, do we keep this, do we not keep this? So it's still a form of confusion, even if it's not your personal confusion. Like women struggle with that. Do I get rid of this? I'm going to need this Exactly.
Speaker 3:And then it's also having too much stuff does give you anxiety. It really does. And even digitally. You know, I feel really good when I like clean up my desktop because sometimes, like I don't know how it happens, in a couple months my desktop all of a sudden will be filled up and I'm like wait, and then I make little files and then I'll just stick it in the files. I'm like, oh, that feels better. What I did actually as I was writing this chapter. I never done this before On my iPhone. You know you have all your apps. So you have like 20 pages of apps and I'm like there's actually within the iPhone, there's, like you know, your travel section and your finance section and your entertainment section. So I was like, let me start putting these apps in there. So it's, you know, very clean, versus you know 20 pages of apps you're going through and then also deleting the apps you don't use, like the transportation system in Germany. I'm not in Germany anymore, so I can just delete that, that's true.
Speaker 2:I think it's really good that you added those chapters though, because, like the relationships, even if you're a woman and you're in a relationship like, you experience some confusion, like I heard a different podcast you were on talking about some woman like and she's in her fifties, going on dates and getting ghosted Like, but even if you're in that relationship, us women deal with like confusion, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I think our relationships are some of the hardest things, and I think it's even more difficult now because it's like we want something that might not exist and because the world is also so instant gratification, and because we actually can make our own money and we can decorate the house the way we want to and we can make our lives really conducive to us. Then you kind of go oh, he annoyed me, I don't want him around him, I don't want him in my house, or he does this thing I don't like. And I mean the guys do it to us too. It's both ways. You know we're both. And then we want them to be more emotionally available, and they can't do it. And then you know they want us to not pick on them and we can't do that. They don't want us to be demanding, and it's like we feel like we're not be demanding, we're just wanting them to be human.
Speaker 3:I had a friend of mine in Texas she actually is going through a separation with her husband right now. Talk about confusing and she went to a therapist and the therapist told her this and I thought this was actually brilliant. The therapist said you know, if you can kind of look at it this way men are slightly autistic and women are slightly bipolar, and I'm like that makes perfect sense. I don't know how well that works with each other, but it's like we. I think women expect men to kind of be more like us and men expect us to be more like them, and therein lies the issue, because we're very different creatures. This I've dated lots of men. There is big differences and if you go on any social media platform and you see what these women are saying about the men, it's all the same thing and what men are saying about women all the same. We are so very. We're just built so differently we are now.
Speaker 2:I think that makes sense in terms of like the autistic and the bipolar, like, because we're different types of beings. We are, you know, like, I think, different, like different women could have like different levels of like the bipolar you, you know what I mean and then like different men on this, on that. But I get what that means I do. Yeah, I thought it was interesting. It's interesting that a therapist said that too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I thought it was, but I thought it hit the nail on the head in a lot of ways Because if people that do have like autism, right, they struggle with emotions, being more autistic Okay, I'm just the therapist said that and she said slightly and I do, but it is it's like men are more detached from their emotions Not all men, but you know a lot of them and women are. We're so emotional, like we're very much in tune with our bodies, with our emotions. Actually, I write in my book about how they say women are better spies than men because of our innate intuition, like we could just see things in social situations. We just like sense things that will maybe go over a man's head. So women, because we're not as physically strong as they are, we've had to protect ourselves. How do you protect yourself when you're not as physically strong as a man? You intuitively go dangerous situation, get out, run. So we're very much in tune to that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's really true. And even I think that ties in, you know, to like the mother's instinct, like, granted, not all mothers have that, but a lot of times like I'm not a mother, but I've heard all these different women, my friends, my cousins, like they have a different instincts when it comes to the kid and that's a big complaint, like they have a different instincts when it comes to the kid, and that's a big complaint.
Speaker 3:That's a big complaint for a lot of women is my husband isn't really involved or he's a little jealous, because now my attention's on the kid and he's not bonding with the kid. And I had a very different experience because my dad was like an Italian mom and dad combined. Different experience because my dad was like an Italian mom and dad combined, so he was very much like always like there and interacting and stuff. But that is a thing with a lot of men. So we're just different, that's all.
Speaker 3:And I think there's a period right now, as we're going through this kind of separation, where a lot of us don't want to deal with each other. But I think it's part of the evolution. I think that the women are going to evolve, the men are going to evolve and then we can like couple again in a better way and meet each other's needs better and understand each other better. Because at the end of the day, like I'm attracted to men, I wish I was, like we are. I'm attracted to men, I wish I was attracted to women, but I'm attracted to women.
Speaker 2:Why do you wish you were attracted to women?
Speaker 3:I feel like it'd be easier. But actually I had my lesbian friend said you think it would be easier, but it's not, it's all the same stuff. So I was like, oh, that's interesting, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:I want to transition to chat. I'm curious because you mentioned you didn't think you'd ever write the book. So what made you shift and you're like, okay, I'm going to write a book?
Speaker 3:Well, you know, I had gone through all these things. I had gone through like a depression and I was able to get myself out of it and I was learning so much and growing so much. And then I started to go, okay, what do I want to do with my life? And I didn't know. So I was working part-time jobs and I started a video blog. I started to do one new thing every week to figure out what I liked, what I didn't like. I was trying to figure out who I was out, what I liked, what I didn't like. I was trying to figure out who I was and I started to get to know myself and, like, one thing led to the other.
Speaker 3:That's the interesting thing when you put yourself out there and you do have a desire to get to know yourself and figure out what your purpose here is on earth, like, what am I doing here? What would I enjoy doing here? The world opens up to you and it shows you. It kind of leaves you these like little breadcrumbs to follow and I'm like, well, thinking, trying to control everything and doing things the way I thought I should be doing didn't work out for me. It left me very depressed. So now let me try to do this woo follow the universe stuff, which does feel very woo and feels like kind of scary, because you're like what the heck am I doing? Am I some crazy hippie? That's not on drugs, you know. But I'm like okay, you know that didn't work. Very logical, I'll see if this works. And so I just started following the breadcrumbs and it was just like one thing led to the other and I ended up starting a yoga wear line. Kind of before everybody started, yoga wear lines Like Lululemon was very niche and there was just a couple of yoga brands and so I'm definitely like an OG of the yoga leggings and so I created that line and it did really well. Like around five years.
Speaker 3:While it was doing well and my Instagram following was building up and I just I was. It was so weird. I was driving to my parents' house and it was just like hit me, you're going to write a book. And then I got all excited. Like my whole body just was like flooded with joy and enthusiasm and I was just so excited and I thought, okay, but I'm going to do this differently than I've done everything else in my life. I'm not going to be like a bulldozer. That means you get it done right now. I said no, I want to organize my life, I want to leave the country and I want to ride it abroad in a very peaceful setting, and I just want to. I want to enjoy this. I want this to be done in a state of joy and not a state of overwhelm.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that approach. You want it to be done in a state of joy, and you knew you wanted to write it abroad. Yes, a hundred percent, wow, okay. So did you wait to start writing until you left?
Speaker 3:Yep, yeah, I did not write and the whole thing was written while I've been abroad.
Speaker 2:And so when did you go to Bali after this revelation that you're like I'm going to write a book? How long after that did you go to Bali?
Speaker 3:revelation that you're like I'm going to write a book, how long after that did you go to Bali? So it was a year. It took me a year to organize. It took me a year to organize my life and I made my business completely mobile. I had to change things around and yeah, and then organize myself to go rented out my place, and so it did take a year to do that. So nothing about this book situation was quick. I mean, from the time I left, from the time I got the idea, it's been eight years.
Speaker 2:Now is there a reason you went to Bali?
Speaker 3:Well, I had a friend that had been in Bali and they're like you will love it One. It's inexpensive and I wanted to be in an inexpensive place because I didn't want to have to worry about money, and it's also the type of place where you can eat out every day and it is very touristy. So they have amazing restaurants and the scenery is gorgeous and it's also very spiritual and the yoga scene's really big there. Because I was like I want to do yoga every day, then I want to go to a cafe and write, and I just rented a little hole in the wall. I mean I didn't have a kitchen, I didn't have anything luxurious, because I was like I'm going to eat out every day and then they would come in my place and clean it every day.
Speaker 3:I think I paid like $460 a month for it and then I spent about $30 on food a day because I mean I was eating. I was having like cappuccinos and green juices and a coconut and, like you know, nice chicken and rice. So most of my money went to food actually. And then I got to explore the island and, yeah, my friend highly recommended it and then, of course, like eat, pray, love. You know, she went to Bali and it was just there was a hype around Bali at that time. I think there still is a little less, but there was definitely a hype around Bali. I think there still is a little less, but there was definitely a hype around Bali and I'm like I got to go. It just hit all the things for me, like I've been to Thailand for two months and I did like Thailand, but there's not as big of a yoga scene there.
Speaker 3:I love Balinese people. They're just, oh my gosh, their eyes like have light. They have light coming out of their eyes. They're just very alive. They're very spiritual. They have light coming out of their eyes. They're just very alive. They're very spiritual. They're very hospitable, loving, so I just loved being in their atmosphere.
Speaker 2:I get that. Wow, that's magical. Now, who would you say your book is ideally meant for? Obviously, the confused girl, but I would say my book is.
Speaker 3:It's meant for everyone really. I mean because I even had this woman who's 56 years old read it and she was like this is so refreshing, it's such a good reminder like that, even when you're older. You don't have all the answers and you know there are tools that you and even she said for her daughters, like she picked up tools from the book that she can help her daughters with and stuff. So I think it's for everyone, but probably ideally it's like 20s, 30s, 40s, you know, probably in that range. But there are so many things in there too that my mom needs.
Speaker 2:I got the same my mom's in her 60s. She will kill me doing this, but she's in her 60s and I know she'll relate to some of it herself as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. I think at the end of the day, we're confused at any age because even you have kids, you have a family, but then your kids leave the house, they go to college. You're an empty nester. You're confused about that. You feel like your life's over now. I mean we all. Life's always going to change.
Speaker 2:No, a hundred percent. And even if you don't have kids, like even if you're in that relationship, there's still going to be something that happens. That's confusion. You know, like maybe your partner needs a surgery, whatever it is like, confusion will come up.
Speaker 3:You know what's the best. Just, I just wanted to give a guideline to people who are going through confusing moments and also reminding them to reconnect with themselves and ask themselves, okay, what do I really feel, what do I really want? And giving permission to be with yourself, because that's honestly the most important thing. That's where all the good answers come from.
Speaker 2:Yeah, permission to be with yourself. I love that and I love the title you went with confused girl. That was perfect. I like that one better than the seven. Seven things, just my god so much better.
Speaker 3:It's so much better well.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for speaking with me. I really appreciate it. Well, thank you for having me. Of course, have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I love him, I'm a big fan. He has a podcast called On Purpose and he ends it with two segments and I stole them. I give him a little bit of credit because they're not my questions. Oh well, both segments is the many sides to us. There's five questions and they need to be answered in one word each.
Speaker 3:Oh geez.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Hard for me.
Speaker 2:What is one word someone who was meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as Energetic? What is one word someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as Hysterical? What is one word you'd use to describe yourself Curious? What is one word that, if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset, would use to describe you as Aggressive? What is one word you're trying to embody right now? Fun Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in up to a sentence. What is the best advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 3:Okay, these are no longer one word, these are a sentence Okay, a sentence Okay. The best advice I've ever received. I think life is short and you have to enjoy it.
Speaker 2:Why is that the best?
Speaker 3:Because I think you know it is short and you don't know when you're going to be taken away. And if you don't enjoy some of it, then what's the point?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's so true. What in the worst advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 3:He's just not that into you.
Speaker 2:Why is that the worst?
Speaker 3:advice. I hate when people say that because it's like they're just trying to quote the movie and I just find in a lot of situations I will never say that to a girlfriend because the world is so weird right now and I'm like, yeah, maybe he's just not that into you, or he's just really shy, or he doesn't have his life together or he thinks like he's scared of you. You know, I mean there's a lot of other different things than he's just not that into you. And I just think people use that as like a blanket statement for everything. And I think it's hurtful and I know I've been hurt by it and I also knew when it was true, when it wasn't true. That's true.
Speaker 2:What is something that you used to value that you no longer value?
Speaker 3:Designer clothes.
Speaker 2:If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say? Confused girl, that's it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm good with it.
Speaker 2:I'm at peace with that if you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be? And I want to know why one law.
Speaker 3:This is going to sound harsh, but I think all pedophiles should be put away for life.
Speaker 2:Why would that be the law?
Speaker 3:Because I think the destruction that they do to people's lives is just like the worst kind of destruction and I don't think those people should get out of jail or I think they should be in jail for life. They should never be around other people, they should just be together, put away somewhere on an island and yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for speaking with me. I appreciate it. This was a blast.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I really enjoyed it and that was really fun because you know, just to let everybody know, we didn't rehearse that. I had no idea, like that was totally off the cusp.
Speaker 2:And where can listeners connect with you?
Speaker 3:And where can listeners connect with you, so you can go to my Instagram at ConfusedGirlLA. You can also go to my website, confusedgirlinthecitycom and get my book. If you actually pre-order my book now, you'll enter to win a two-night stay in Maui in an ocean front room in my favorite hotel and a hundred dollar gift card to my store. So, like this is from my store, this crop sweater so, and you could just, yeah, go to my website and then there's all the links you can get my book on Amazon, barnes and Nobles and Target awesome.
Speaker 2:I will link all of that in the show notes and I do just like to give it back to the guest. Any final words of wisdom you want to share?
Speaker 3:I just think that you all need to go out and buy my book. Okay, those are my five. No, oh no. I think it's really important, especially right now, because the world's so chaotic and the media and the news and it's all crazy. I think it's really important to connect with yourself and ground yourself and have things within the day that you really enjoy and just feel grateful for, whether that's a walk, whether that's I love my cappuccinos in the morning I just like sit there and I'm like I'm so grateful for you. You know, as I wake up, I think those are the moments in life, the simple moments, but if you can't appreciate those, you won't be able to appreciate the big ones.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that's facts, that's facts. Thank you so much. Thank you, Amanda. This, that's facts, that's facts. Thank you so much. Thank you, Amanda. This was fun. Thank you, Of course, and thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Amanda's Mindset.
Speaker 2:Wow, what a powerful, deep, honest conversation with Giovanna. I had to pause and reflect really deeply throughout this conversation and there's a few takeaways I want you to hold on to. First and foremost, confusion is not failure, it's an invitation. Giovanna reminded me that being confused doesn't mean you're broken. It means you're in the middle of figuring it out, and that's brave. Her willingness to own her own confusion instead of hiding it was not only refreshing, it was so empowering was not only refreshing, it was so empowering. She also mentioned self-worth has to come from within. This might be the most important message of the entire episode. If everything is external your job, your relationship, your status, your kids If it all went away tomorrow, would you still feel worthy? That's also why I start the podcast. With who would you say you are at the core, Outside of the mom, outside of the author, outside of all of these things? If that went away?
Speaker 2:Giovanna's journey made it clear that doing the inner work is non-negotiable If we want peace and bliss. Also, rituals can be very transformational. Also, rituals can be very transformational. I loved her visual of taking a daily beach walk and imagining herself releasing a backpack full of shame into the ocean. Or maybe you're just on a walk and you're releasing this backpack full of shame and letting it go, Getting it off of your back and releasing the heaviness. That image hit me hard Because we're all carrying stuff that isn't ours to carry. Letting go can be spiritual and it can also be simple Also.
Speaker 2:Next, Giovanna talked about minimalism, and it's not just about decluttering your home. It's about clearing space in your mind and your mindset. The way Giovanna connects clutter to energy and her practice of giving something away when she brings in something new was a great reminder that less truly can be more, that less truly can be more. Lastly, you can be curious, fun and evolving at any age. It's not just for your 20s and your 30s. Her story shows that no matter how far off course you go or you feel, you can always return to yourself, reset and begin again. That is what personal growth is all about. If Giovanna's story resonated with you, her book Confused Girl Find your Peace in the Chaos dives even deeper into everything we talked about Self-worth, healing, confusion and clarity.
Speaker 2:I highly recommend reading it and, as always, thank you guys so much for tuning in to another episode of Mander's Mindset. I hope this episode helps you realize that, no matter what you're confused over, it's okay because everyone is confused about something. Just keep going. You got this. If you enjoyed the episode. I'd really appreciate it if you left me a rating, left a review and shared the episode with anyone you think would benefit from hearing this. Thanks guys, Until next time you think would benefit from hearing this. Thanks guys, Until next time. In case no one told you today I'm proud of you, I'm rooting for you and you got this. As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five-star rating, leave a review and share it with anyone you think would benefit from this. And don't forget you are only one mindset. Shift away from shifting your life. Thanks guys, until next time.
