Manders Mindset
Are you feeling stuck or stagnant in your life? Do you envision yourself living differently but have no idea how to start? The answer might lie in a shift in your mindset.
Hosted by Amanda Russo, The Breathing Goddess, who is a former Family Law Paralegal now a Breathwork Facilitator, Sound Healer, and Transformative Mindset Coach.
Amanda's journey into mindset and empowerment began by working with children in group homes and daycares. She later transitioned to family law, helping people navigate the challenging emotions of divorce. During this time, Amanda also overcame her own weight and health challenges through strength training, meditation, yoga, reiki, and plant medicine.
Amanda interviews guests from diverse backgrounds, including entrepreneurs, athletes, artists, and wellness experts, who share their incredible journeys of conquering fears and limiting beliefs to achieve remarkable success.
Hear real people tell how shifting their mindsets and often their words, has dramatically changed their lives.
Amanda also shares her personal journey, detailing how she transformed obstacles into opportunities by adopting a healthier, holistic lifestyle.
Discover practical strategies and inspiring stories that will empower you to break free from limitations and cultivate a mindset geared towards growth and positivity.
Tune in for a fun, friendly, and empowering experience that will help you become the best version of yourself.
Manders Mindset
How To Leave Corporate Comfort & Find the Courage to Thrive | Aneta Ardelian Kuzma | 153
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What if the life you dream of starts with one aligned choice?
In this deeply inspiring episode of Manders Mindset, host Amanda Russo is joined by coach, consultant, and founder of the Ardelian Kuzma Group, Aneta, for a conversation about courage, curiosity, and creating a life in full alignment with one’s values. From growing up as a young immigrant navigating a new culture to spending 22 years in banking before stepping into entrepreneurship, Aneta’s journey demonstrates what’s possible when big dreams are no longer minimized and instead are built, one intentional step at a time.
The discussion explores the mindset shifts that supported her transition from corporate leadership to coaching, how Breathwork and mindfulness became cornerstones of her work, and why taking aligned action is the true superpower for living a fulfilled life.
Listeners will walk away with practical tools and heartfelt encouragement to approach change with clarity, courage, and purpose.
🎙️ In this episode, listeners will discover:
💭 How curiosity and observation shaped Aneta’s leadership style from childhood
🌱 The vision exercise that helped her map out a new life she loved
🧘♀️ Why morning practices and breathwork became her foundation for success
📅 How to align daily actions with core values
⚖️ Ways to balance masculine drive and feminine flow in business
💡 Redefining success and letting go of titles, limits, and outside opinions
🙏 The role of faith in moving through fear and uncertainty
🕒 Timeline Summary:
[1:16] – Aneta shares who she is at her core and why curiosity drives her
[3:29] – Childhood lessons as a young immigrant and the desire to belong
[7:14] – How an HR connection led to a 22-year career in banking
[9:35] – Allowing herself to dream without limits for the first time
[14:45] – Morning rituals that became the foundation for change
[16:42] – Discovering breathwork and integrating it into coaching
[22:47] – Why aligned action is the ultimate superpower for fulfillment
[33:06] – Redefining success beyond money and titles
[41:06] – Balancing masculine and feminine energy in life and business
[46:02] – The best and worst advice she’s ever received and her powerful perspective on surrender.
To Connect with Amanda:
Schedule a 1:1 Virtual Breathwork Session HERE
📸 Instagram: @thebreathinggoddess
Follow & Support the Podcast:
📱 Instagram: @MandersMindset
👥 Join the Manders Mindset Facebook Community HERE!
To Connect with Aneta:
Website: akuzmagroup.com
Lunchtime Breathwork with Aneta: https://akuzmagroup.com/mandersmindset
Welcome to the Manders Mindset Podcast. Here you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers and a variety of other people when your host, Amanda Russo, will discuss her own mindset and perspective and her guest's mindset and perspective on the world around us. Manders and her guests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.
Speaker 3:Welcome back to Amanda's Mindset, where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life.
Speaker 2:I'm your host, Amanda Russo, and I am so excited to be here with today's guest and I am here today with Anita, and she is a coach and consultant and the founder of the Ardenalian Cusman Group, llc. Her passion is helping her clients create transformational change. She is a former bank executive. Now she works with high achieving professionals and entrepreneurs to create mindful leadership, increase focus, creativity and productivity.
Speaker 4:Oh, Amanda, I'm so excited to be here with you.
Speaker 2:Of course. So who would you say? Anita is at the core At my core.
Speaker 4:I just always think of myself as this very curious being, you know, who is here to love other people, to explore all the beauty of life, to create, to learn, to grow, to develop relationships, you know. And then my sort of earthly things I think about is I'm a mom and a wife and a friend, and in the end I think I'm here to just be someone who is like a vessel for God's love. That's really what I see myself as.
Speaker 2:Have you always been a curious being?
Speaker 4:Yes, I was an only child for first almost eight years of my life, and so I played a lot with like in my own head and I was always curious about adult conversations, because there weren't, you know, other kids around necessarily. I immigrated at a young age with my parents from the former Yugoslavia and so I couldn't speak English when I first started school, so I just observed right, when you have no language, like you could just observe people, but you can't necessarily communicate back and I think that just developed other skills in me where I was able to just pay attention. And then when I started being able to pick up on the language but maybe I couldn't speak as well then I also was able to start to listen actively and I think all of those things really help with the curiosity, and so that's why I love having my own podcast too, because I'm so curious about people's lives and asking questions and coaching as well. Right, we just ask questions to help unearth whatever is already within the other person.
Speaker 2:Now, can you tell us a little more about your childhood?
Speaker 4:upbringing so came like right before kindergarten moved with my parents my grandparents were already here in Cleveland, cleveland, ohio and so it was really hard just at trying to fit in and adjust to a new culture and to a new home and leaving all the stuff behind and I think the language barrier, cultural barriers that was hard.
Speaker 4:And so I think at a young age just always had this strong desire to want to fit in, to belong, to look and say what are other people doing and how can I, what do I need to do in order to get into this crowd, into this group? And so I also developed at a very young age this desire to. Well, I had to work really hard to catch up right, so I had to work really hard to try to catch up on the language side and with school. So hard work. And then I became very addicted to praise and just external validation, because it was a signal that like, yes, you're on the right track, you're doing the right thing or you're not. And so I think that was the conditioning that developed at a very young age.
Speaker 2:Now, how old were you when you were able to speak English?
Speaker 4:So I remember kids pick up pretty quickly. So I would say kindergarten like nothing, and then probably towards the end of the year like I was speaking, but my reading was definitely. I was still in the lowest reading group when I started first grade and that was really upsetting to me because it was me and like three boys that misbehaved and my goal was, I remember, by the end of the first grade to get into the regular reading group and then there was a higher one. By second grade I was already a straight A student and just like really doing well. So I think it was probably from nothing to like better, you know, over the course of two years. And then by second grade I felt like you learn the language skills but you still don't have all of the cultural references and then you don't have necessarily parents at home who are able to help with that. So any expression just went over my head because I never heard them before.
Speaker 2:And now, how was schooling for you as you started to go about your school grade, school years, about your school grade school years it became everything for me.
Speaker 4:I loved learning, I think because I put so much effort into it. And then, when it got easier, I just had such a desire to read, because I read so much, trying to catch up, and so loved learning. Once I started talking, I was the nerd in the front row center seat and raised my hand to answer anything, because I think it must have felt like freedom for me, like, oh, I can finally do this, I finally know what's going on. I loved school. I probably would continue to take classes for the rest of my life. I've always just had this desire to learn more. I think it goes back to that curiosity.
Speaker 2:Now, were you involved in extracurriculars in school?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'm trying to think what was I into? So like I played volleyball, even though I'm short, and then I was in speech and debate going back, you know, like mock trial drama club. I'm trying to think what else? Kind of the nerdy things, and I wasn't into too many sports, but I did like volleyball. And now did you go to college? I did, I did undergrad and I did grad school. I studied literature. I thought I wanted to be a professor, so I studied literature and French and women's studies undergrad. And then when I started working and the kids were a little bit older at that point, I went back to, I did an executive MBA program just to get my business degree and so did that. And then I had an additional schooling for banking, which is funny. I worked in banking for 22 years, so they sent us to an executive banking school in the summers, which was really funny. So the nerd theme continues.
Speaker 2:And did you always have an interest in getting involved in banking?
Speaker 4:No, I never had an interest.
Speaker 4:It was like one of those things where I just, you know, my husband's from New York, so we lived in New York after we got married and then moved back to Cleveland and I wanted to work for a company that was located in the city, in headquarters, because it was easier to kind of grow in the organization and at that time, like my generation, we liked staying at a company for a long time if you could, and just growing.
Speaker 4:And you know, nowadays I think this generation, the average they stay is like a year and a half in any role, which is any company, which I think is so different than what we did before. And so I just ended up in banking because it was a headquarters and I had a friend who worked there in HR and she's like, hey, they're looking to hire in this position, you should apply. And so I did. And I ended up staying 22 years, which you know wasn't necessarily what I planned, but I was able to work on some really interesting things and with some good leaders. And then, you know, until it was time to start my own thing.
Speaker 2:I gotcha Now what made you make that transition and leave? 22 years is a long time.
Speaker 4:It's a long time. I just felt like I couldn't see myself retiring from banking and I didn't know what was next. I had the coolest jobs in the organization, I worked with great leaders, and after a while I was like, I don't know, I just can't see myself staying here. But I didn't know what I wanted to do and if I wanted to move into nonprofit or if I wanted to work in a different industry or do something different. I was kind of bored at that point too, and I was tired of all the financial crises. I've lived through a couple of those while I was there, and so I hired a coach. And that's when I did the deep work to say what do I really want? Like if I had, you know, opened up a new box of crayons and I had this big poster board in front of me, like, would I design myself going back to some sort of a corporate job again, or what would it look like? And for the first time, probably forever, I allowed myself to dream and to say what could this look like? What are the things I really enjoy? What do I want my life to look like? This next chapter? And after some time I was able to write a whole vision paper and what I wanted. And I fell in love with coaching and so I knew I wanted to start some coaching business and I really enjoyed the space of wellness.
Speaker 4:And I just had dreams that I always wanted to do. I always wanted to write books and I love listening to podcasts. I was like, oh, that'd be so great if I had a podcast one day, or I would love to do retreats all over the world. So I allowed myself just to have these big dreams and didn't care how it would come together. And now, you know, over six years later, I have all those things in my business and that's the. You know, this is my life. And so it's one of those stories where I look back and I just think I didn't know how I would get here, but I didn't dim my dream or make it smaller just because I didn't know how. I allowed myself to dream really big dream and then knew that I'd just figure out how to get here eventually. You don't do everything all at once and that's not. You know we don't need to, but I always kept that dream alive and just would always look at the vision and go, okay, this is what I'm working towards.
Speaker 2:Now, did you have any hesitation with hiring your first coach?
Speaker 4:Yes, because I didn't invest money in myself like that. I didn't even go and pay to get a massage once a month, let alone invest in coaching. And so one I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to invest the time, I'm going to invest the money. I better be serious Is this going to work? It was the single most important decision that I've done recently, because I wouldn't be here today if I didn't do it, because I wouldn't have been able to figure it out on my own, because that's the beauty of working with someone who already has gone before you and done it. They can help you, they can shortcut it, they can tell you the things to look out for, they can ask the right questions, and so I'm so glad that I finally agreed to do it, because it changed everything.
Speaker 2:I was just curious because you know it, coaching is new and some people still have that reluctancy with it, even more so because of the newness of it.
Speaker 4:I think it's been around for a long time. I just think that there's a lot of people that now call themselves coaches. So yes, I agree with you that it's much more mainstream and you see it everywhere. But the one woman I hired, she'd been an executive coach for a long time and I knew her, and so I knew that if I chose to hire a coach, that I would reach out to Roxanne and I'm so glad that I did and she had gone through her own. You know, she was in corporate and went through this herself, and so that was really helpful for me too, because she understood me and she had been where I was.
Speaker 2:And now, how soon after you started coaching did you uncover that's what you wanted to do as well?
Speaker 4:So we worked together for six months and it's definitely during that time, when I was working on the vision, that I said I think this is what I want to do. Like I just fell in love with the process so much and I loved how much I had changed during that process and I thought if I can help other people do this and transform, then I will be doing great work in the world. I always had teams. I always had big teams at work, and so I was coaching people that worked for me for years and I really enjoyed that. I love that aspect of my job. So it didn't feel like a foreign concept to me. It just was like wow, I get to do this all the time now.
Speaker 2:I love that. Oh, it's never too late, even 22 years, if you were doing something, whether you loved it or I like that.
Speaker 4:Yeah. So I think I hired Roxanne at 45. And then, when I turned 47, two years later, I was ready to leave. I had a vision and I had an action plan and I wasn't ready to leave yet. I was putting things in place. I was working during the day, a couple hours in the evening, a couple hours on the weekends, and suddenly, after two years, I was ready to finally say I'm ready to go.
Speaker 2:Wow, I love that and thank you for sharing how old you were, like that vulnerability. I think that really shows even more so, like, because people say to me all the time like, oh, you look so young, of course you can shit Like I'm 28. You know, like I left my paralegal job and like people look at it differently.
Speaker 4:I had to be a paralegal job and like people look at it differently after being paralegal for four years when I was 24, you know. So I appreciate your vulnerability and that I know like, yeah, I own my age and because I think I'm so grateful that I'm not counting down till retirement. I'm like building what I love and you know I'm 53 now and I'm so happy that I get to decide, I get to build, I get to spend my day the way I want to, with the people that I want to. And you know, entrepreneurship is not for everybody, but if you want to do it, it's never too late to change. Like that's a powerful message I hope everyone hears.
Speaker 2:No, I love that. You know, if you don't want to retire from where you are and you're not happy, like life is short, it's long, but it's short. Yeah, so true. Is there anything that helped you align your day to make this transition, because I know this is a big transition from your day to day transition from your day to day.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, man, that's such a great question Because there are so many fears that I had and that still come up all the time. Right, people are like, oh, you know, how'd you get over your fear? And like you just don't. You just continue to take action despite the fear and do a lot of work to continue to move through it. But for me, I always start my day and I did even before when I was in corporate like really starting my day in quiet journaling, reading from really inspiring books, meditating, doing the things that I knew I needed in order to ground myself, to be connected, to regulate my nervous system do breath, work, you know all of those things connect, pray and then I was able to go to work.
Speaker 4:I love that I had those practices already established, because those were the same practices I continued when I left. And then you know, when you leave, the shock to the system is that, instead of going from a calendar where you're double and triple booked and you've got stuff going from morning till night, you have an empty calendar where there's nothing on it. It's like blank and it's up to you to decide. Okay, what am I adding here? Where are my clients going to come from? Who am I meeting with? Who am I networking with? Right, but what was consistent and constant was my morning practice always, and that was perfect because I had that already established and that was very helpful.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense. I'm curious when you got into breathwork?
Speaker 4:So I've been practicing yoga meditation for decades, since the 90s, when I went through yoga teacher training. I got certified to teach. We did some pranayama, of course, and so we did that type of yogic breath. And then, in 2021, I want to say it was in the fall I was at a conference in LA and Samantha Skelly from Pause Breathwork guided us through a breathwork session and I didn't even know what happened.
Speaker 4:Like I was cracked open. I was crying, ugly crying. I was like what is going on here? And I literally like started following her on Instagram. What is going on here?
Speaker 4:And I literally like started following her on Instagram, sent a mess like a DM, or they messaged me or somehow I got on with her team the next morning for a call and, like signed up for the six month certification program, like right away, while I was still at the conference, like I couldn't even wait to get home.
Speaker 4:I was like, oh, I got to do this and they just had one. That started like that Monday. I have to do this because I need to go deeper into this and see what it is and I need to bring it to all my coaching clients because I love bringing in modalities and practices and energetics and other things besides coaching, to really help my clients Many of them that come to me. They're burned out, they're exhausted, they're not regulated, and so anything that I can bring in that helps them get back to a state of regulation then we can do the work. It's really hard to help someone vision and see differently when they're in survival mode, and so breathwork has just been so impactful for me, but then also for my clients as well. Do you?
Speaker 2:do it with all your clients.
Speaker 4:I'm trying to think. Most of them yes, most of them, I think some are more open to me sending them like recordings and then they can do it on their own, but I always introduce it to everybody so that they can experience it. I haven't had one person say, oh, I don't like this. They're always like, oh, that felt so good. It's like you could just feel their body and you could see when they finally drop in and you're like, oh, there you go, there you go. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:I love how you said you always introduce it, because I think some people have a lot of reluctancy when they first hear breathwork because they don't know what it is and there's a lot of fear around the unknown. And I think it's phenomenal that you still introduce it and just bring normalcy to it, because so many people are like what is this?
Speaker 4:I think because meditation has become so mainstream and people now know about it has become so mainstream and people now know about it.
Speaker 4:When I talk about the neuroscience and I talk about the nervous system and then people understand it. And I talk about stress hormones, there is some level of understanding that most people have. And when you're able to bring in the science behind it and do it in a way that doesn't feel too for them or too spiritual or whatever it is that they're scared of or nervous about, when you're able to explain it and then just kind of demonstrate and I even talk about just how our special forces use breath work before they go into combat. And so Navy SEALs are, you know, using 478 breath and box breath, and so then it's like oh, that's interesting. Well, why? Because it's the fastest rate of regulate, and when you're able to regulate, then you're able to use the frontal cortex to think instead of the limbic part of the brain. So you know, suddenly, I think it gives credibility to a practice that maybe they just weren't that familiar with before lot of sense and I like how you mentioned the special forces.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true, like so many things, use it. You know people think it's this little thing and I've spoken to people even like for fitness, for the special forces, for mma, for different things, and they're like you control your breathing?
Speaker 4:yeah, I know when did you get?
Speaker 2:into breathwork In 2023. Okay, did you go through a special program, breathwork detox, with Curtis Thomas?
Speaker 4:Okay, no, I don't think so. It was good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was great. A woman I became friends with through a yoga studio actually had been talking about it a bunch, and she was like you got to try this if you're into this yoga. And I'm super stubborn, to the point where she would say it probably every time I was posting about yoga on Instagram. And it wasn't until three or four months later, on the anniversary of my grandma's passing, that I was like, okay, I'm going to do it, I'm going to give it a shot and I've been hooked. Oh, it's amazing, isn't it? I honestly, I was blown away and, honestly, I really didn't think it was going to do shit.
Speaker 4:So, even though I've been so hooked because I'm like this happened and all I did was breathe- I had a friend who he and I had lunch and I remember telling him he'd done yoga with me before and I said, hey, I'm really starting to facilitate breath work. I would love to, you know, gift you a session so you could experience it. So he like came over and he thought, like you know, it was going to be like some gentle yin class or something. He didn't know what we were going to do, even though I tried explaining it and at the end of it, like he had such an experience and he looked at me he couldn't even speak for a while afterwards and we're I just let him integrate and, you know, sit there and he's like that was like as intense as a psychedelic experience. He's like that was. He had such a profound experience and shared with me like what happened.
Speaker 4:I checked with him in the next day and he was still processing and he was couldn't believe it. And the cool thing about it is that no two sessions are ever going to be the same. You are going to get what you need and you're not going to be able to, like you know, hyperventilate yourself into some sort of a experience if that's not what you need in that moment. But the first time people experience. It is always my favorite because they're like what.
Speaker 4:Because now you're not in your head, you don't actually know what to expect, and then you know you're able to just allow the body to breathe, and that's where the magic just happens.
Speaker 2:It is, and I love how you mentioned no two sessions are the same. They really aren't, and that's great.
Speaker 4:And it's great.
Speaker 2:Now I want to transition to Chad. You've mentioned that alignment and action is people's superpowers. Why would you say that?
Speaker 4:So I believe in aligned action. Right, if you are just working a to-do list and crossing these things off and thinking that somehow that's going to give you fulfillment, you're going to get a little dopamine each time. But if those things don't actually matter, they're not in alignment with what's most important to you, it's not going to bring you the satisfaction or fulfillment, it just won't. And so what is our superpower is when we connect and identify what are my values. What is most important to me? Maybe it's your family, maybe it's your health, maybe it's your faith, maybe it's your relationships, whatever those are. You make a list of what your values are and the things that are your North Star, that are so important Every single day. I want you to look at your calendar and I want you to make sure that those values show up on your calendar.
Speaker 4:If they do not, you are not taking aligned action. You are working and living not in integration to what is most important to you and living not in integration to what is most important to you. And when we are able to integrate all of those things together, then we suddenly feel like we are in balance. And then the person is traveling Monday through Friday, sees their kids, maybe on Saturday, and starts working again on Sunday. Or if your health is important and you don't eat lunch, you take no breaks, you know you don't drink your water, like you're not moving your body, and so it really is being accountable to ourselves.
Speaker 4:Like I say, this is what's important to me, this is what is most important in my life, and making sure that the way we show up every single day aligns to that. And open up your calendar to someone and say tell me what's most important to me in my life. And if they cannot tell you what's important because all they see are work meetings, then that's what is most important to you, that's what your schedule is saying is your top value. And that's where I was and that's why I got burned out is because the things that were most important to me I had scraps of time left to give to my family, to my husband, and nothing for myself and my health and all these other things that I said were important. They just never showed up.
Speaker 2:I really like how you mentioned to show your calendar, your schedule, to somebody else. That's a great example. Some of us might struggle with recognizing, looking at it with our own eyes to see, and might be biased and think that we are making the time and because sometimes you can't tell you're too close to it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and it's an afterthought, like if you start with your values first. I say like, if your relationship is important, I tell my clients how often are you and your partner making time to spend one on one? How often are you going on a date? If your family is important, how often are you doing family dinners? Non-negotiable Like when are you getting together? When are you spending time together? What does that look like in the evenings?
Speaker 4:If your health is important to you, I want to see when are you going to your yoga class? When are you taking a walk? When are you going to the gym? How many hours are you sleeping? And when we start putting all of those things on our calendar and we put them in first, guess what you will work around. The work will still get done. It'll just work around the things that are important to you. It doesn't take a lot. Like you can decide that your best friend and you are going to have a phone conversation, you know, once a week and maybe while you're going for a walk, and you mark it down in your calendar and you look forward to it, and then it's going to happen. We have to catch up. Okay, yeah, we have to choose to do these things.
Speaker 2:Do you think we need to schedule these things?
Speaker 4:do these things. Do you think we need to schedule these things? Yes, absolutely, you do.
Speaker 2:If it doesn't, if it's not on the calendar, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 4:Literally. I was just with my friend and she's like, hey, I'm coming into town, I said, okay, great. When she's like, okay, sunday, I'm like, all right, great, tell me when you're free next week and let's put it on the calendar like right away, not like, oh, call me when you get into town. No, because a million things will happen and something else will come up. But if I know that Wednesday we're doing dinner, guess what? I'm going to honor that commitment and I'm going to look forward to it and I'm going to get excited about it, and all day Wednesday I'm going to be like, wow, I haven't seen her in months.
Speaker 2:I can't wait. That's honestly probably why a lot of things don't happen, that people leave 2chan.
Speaker 4:So we used to use Franklin Covey planners, which were like daily planners that you write in and then afterwards you know. We graduated to BlackBerrys and then we got Outlook and so suddenly what happened is that, instead of using planners which were actually looking at your whole life, you had everything in your planner all your doctor's appointments, your kids' stuff, work, everything. We moved from that to having an Outlook calendar which is filled with all your work, meetings and then having some sort of a paper to-do list, and there is no integration and all the things that are no longer on your calendar are all the personal stuff that, and so if it's not there, it doesn't get done, it won't happen so what is your suggestion?
Speaker 2:do you have one for people who are facing this right now and they don't know how to?
Speaker 4:I have. I use a planner. I love my planner. It's called ramona and ruth. It's the one I like and I use the daily overview planner and you pick. It allows you to select your top three priorities, not 50, and then you set an intention for the day. You list what you're grateful for, you list all your meetings, and mine today literally says date with the divine.
Speaker 4:In the morning post content go for a walk, take a bath. Plan for the rest of the day a call, another coaching call, plan for an offer I'm going to create, meet with friends, do a podcast prep for another call and then have the call. And then I just listed the other things that I got done. But like, literally down to when am I taking a bath? Like because I was like, oh, I want to suck on the tub today.
Speaker 4:And then in the evening it's like ask you what was your nourishment, what was your active self care, how did you move your body, how much water did you have, what was your favorite part of your day and what are the top priorities for tomorrow. So I start with the plan and I end with a reflection in the evening. And guess what? If my reflection says I was tired. I didn't get to half the things on my list. I can make adjustments for tomorrow and then I close it and I go to bed and I don't have to worry about it because I know what I'm doing tomorrow. It's already planned. So it's just really helps, you know, get us ready for the next day and make adjustments. If something's not working, you can catch it right away and then fix it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, have you always been this organized with your scheduling and your planning?
Speaker 4:Yes, I think I always use a planner because for me it was helpful to know what I was doing. My head is full of ideas and things anyway. I just don't need it filled with more stuff trying to remember, and so I love the planners. But I've always journaled too, Like there's something that I really enjoy about writing, and so I still love the physical act, and when I'm planning it feels good to see it on paper, it feels good to kind of spend some time reflecting and thinking. If I see that I have only one hour to get something done today and I have 50 things on my list, I'm just going to go well, this isn't realistic. So really, what are my top priorities and what can I get done in the amount of time that I have? And if I can't get everything done, then I need to say tomorrow I can't have back-to-back meetings. Tomorrow I need to create more space or I need to get more time done.
Speaker 2:So you're able to really, from a realistic perspective, align what's important with the amount of time that you have. Now I'm curious do you have suggestions for people if they are struggling to identify what their values are?
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's a lot of the work I do with my clients. There's some really great lists you can find online that list a lot of values, and I would say, start in circle initially everything that stands out, and then go through a second pass and say, ooh, how many of these are maybe similar, that could be combined right. So if you've got family and relationships, you know, and like friends, you could probably just say relationships, right. And then you can in your mind, you know that's all your relationships. And so I would say narrow it down to probably 10 values, core values, and then I have my clients write out a sentence for each one Like what does it mean to you, you know? And so if your family is important, then as a value, you could say my family is the most important thing in my life and I make time for them every single day and that means quality time together. You know whatever it is Like. You just make up a sentence of what that means to you and then that's the very first part of any vision statement that I work with my clients is just the values. Because guess what, if you have an opportunity, come up and I did this with a client today and she's looking for a new job and I looked at her values.
Speaker 4:Her values were very much about her relationships, her family, her home. You know she wants to be close to home and I was like so if you had a consulting offer that made you travel Monday through Thursday, does that align with your value? She's like nope, she's like nope. I go you're right, this doesn't align and you'd be upset like probably a weekend. And so it really does help us to to think through logically around choices that we make.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense. Now I'm curious if I'm sure you've had to with all of this transition from corporate to now coaching, especially doing it for so long had to almost redefine success.
Speaker 4:For sure and that was some of the work that I did with my coach too, and I do with all my clients is it really you have to challenge everything you've ever learned because from the youngest of ages, we inherently believe certain rules. Right, to make more money is better than making less money, to have a bigger title is more important, to have a nice car, to all these things that society tells us is important. That really keeps us on the same hamster wheel. And so for me, like going through and redefining success in every area of life, like what does it mean to me to be healthy? And I was, like I want to have a clear mind, I want to have a healthy body that can move, I want to feel emotionally regulated. Right, what does it look like to say that my relationships are successful, quality time with my kids, with my husband, making time to see my parents every week, reaching out to friends? What does success look like with every single area of life, even in the area of like joy? Like how? What does it look like to have more joy in my life, like what brings me joy? And for me, it's like I want, for I'm staring at a vase over there. I want fresh flowers in my all over my house. Every single week when we go to the grocery store we buy fresh flowers because that brings me joy. It also brings me joy to have really good coffee in the morning, so I want the nice coffee that tastes really good.
Speaker 4:You know, it's like little things like that, one of the things I remember I used to do, I think, when I was in corporate, because I was so stressed all the time I would go to like TJ Maxx and just buy like candles or new journals or just like shop around or whatever. It's like I don't really have an urge to do that anymore, cause it's like I don't need something to like give me a little dopamine hit. You know, like I, I'm surrounded by the things that bring me joy and that feel good, and so I think it's just taking the time to really ask ourselves those questions in every area and just like questioning everything right. And I remember when I first left corporate I was like I don't want these suits, I don't want these pumps.
Speaker 4:I don't want to ever wear a pair of pumps again. I don't want to ever want to wear pantyhose again. I don't want to like button up a suit, jacket, you know. And so like I just I'm going to go donate these things, I don't want them, like I'm just going to burn the boat right, like the expression I'm just burning this boat, I'm not going back into it, I don't want to do that. That doesn't feel good to me. And so you know, it's like really taking the time and doing the work and asking yourselves the questions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I love all that Like figuring out why I'm getting curious about what you want. It's so key. Now I'm curious Did you face any resistance with how society or the public or people would look at your transition, with how long you were in corporate? You?
Speaker 4:know, when I first made the announcement that I was leaving, I had a co-worker who was like what are you doing? Like you're leaving to go teach yoga, what is happening? Like they didn't understand. And that was some folks. And then other people assumed I was fired or something. And I'm like no One guy asked me what it feels like knowing I'll never make the same amount of money.
Speaker 4:And I was just like I'll make more, don't worry about it. It was so interesting. And then other people were like, oh my God, I'm so jealous I can't believe it. I just envy your courage. And so there was all kinds of responses and I remember being worried. My husband was super supportive Obviously none of this was a surprise to him and I stayed for four months after I did just to kind of you know work on where's my team going to go. So I worked with my boss on making sure everything was all buttoned up. But I remember so worried to tell my parents and and I said to them don't worry, like I shared everything else ago, but don't worry, I'll be okay. And my parents were like we've never worried about you.
Speaker 2:Like, of course, like, of course we're supportive, like of course you'll be fine you know, and I didn't expect that from them, and so when they were so supportive like that too, that just made me feel really good. 20 something years, but you hear you're going to teach people to breathe. Yeah, like people said that to me, multiple people said that to me You're leaving your paralegal job to teach people to breathe and you know, not everybody gets it, so even the that must be. I wish I could do that Wanted if you didn't want to be here. If you want something bad enough, you can make a change.
Speaker 4:Yeah, a lot of people project their fears and so I saw some of that. But in the end I was like, who do I really care about? And that was my family, my husband, my kids, my parents, my sister and my friends knew, obviously, and then everyone else. It's like you know that's okay and I think now it's. You know, I've already celebrated six years in business, it's the start of my seventh year, and it's like I think people realize, oh, like she's really doing it, you know.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that. Is there anything that helped you be so consistent six years ago?
Speaker 4:Well, you know you have the best laid plans and nothing turns out exactly as you plan. So I left in January of 2019 and COVID was a year later, right? So that was unexpected. And yet you know, you shift, you make, do you kind of figure it out? And I just felt really supported all the time.
Speaker 2:I have strong faith and so that was really helpful, even when I'm scared, you know I just anytime I get stuck, I would always say how can I serve? Where can I take the focus off myself and go help someone and serve? And every time I've done that, then the most beautiful things end up happening. Do you feel like your faith?
Speaker 4:helped you. If there was ever times that you struggled, if you were able to keep on the path. Oh my God, yes, and I. So I journal, I type journal every day, like I type, and at the beginning it was every day. Now I need to like sometimes I'm not as consistent.
Speaker 4:It's like the word fear came up so many times and I would constantly like have conversations with God, like oh my gosh, like okay, you say, do not fear, here's what's going on, you know, here's what I need, here's what I'm believing. And so that was really helpful to keep me going, and also being able to come back and say, wow, what did I fear would happen? And then what happened months later when I could look and see, oh, and this is how I was supported or this is what happened instead. And so anytime I was worried about having a slower month or maybe not that many clients signing up, I was able to find other times where I was worried about those things and then just to see how I was supported all along the way, and it's just really helpful to have that documented.
Speaker 2:I love that seeing like the actual examples. Sometimes our minds need that, like the physical, like this is your proof, which is the opposite of faith, since faith is believing without proof.
Speaker 4:That's how we work.
Speaker 2:I get it. No, that makes a lot of sense. And now I'm curious if you've struggled with balancing, like you seem very like a boss babe, but balance, I don't like a balance I'm trying to figure out how to say this but like balancing the masculine and feminine in business, because I tend to have a lot of healthy masculine energy, which is let's get things done, let's be very organized.
Speaker 4:I can manage multiple projects at the same time.
Speaker 4:It's really that energy that keeps you driven and ambitious and going, and, at the same time, I've spent so many years especially honoring my feminine energy as I went into entrepreneurship, because I did not want to burn out running my own business right, because the tendencies that we have could be the tendencies whether you're working for someone else or you're working for yourself, and so I didn't want to run my business the way I was operating when I was in corporate, and so I really wanted to focus in on making sure I had all my devotion practices, making sure I was in corporate, and so I really wanted to focus in on making sure I had all my devotion practices, making sure I was taking really good care of myself, making sure that I was resting when I needed to, that I focused on my energetics and my frequency and doing all the things that I needed in order to stay really grounded.
Speaker 4:Crazy, you know, driven, and so it really was. It is about just finding that daily alignment over and over again and checking myself like if something feels amiss or if I can find myself slipping into old patterns and tendencies, just going okay, wait a second, you need a second meditation today, or you need to take a nap, or you need to go outside and spend more time in nature. You need to take a nap or you need to go outside and spend more time in nature. And if sometimes I just find myself stuck then saying, okay, girl, you need a cold plunge, or you need to go like run, or you need a hot yoga class or something to like get your energy moving and start to like really move through some things or just take one small action, even when you're scared, finding that balance over and over again and just being able to tune in every single day and say, okay, where am I feeling, what do I need more of, what are those activities? And then showing up every day doing what you need to do to keep that balance.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense and would you say it's different?
Speaker 4:day to day Most of the time. I think sometimes there could be be a streak, like if I don't pay attention and maybe I'm too in my masculine and I find myself overworked, overtired, you know, like not getting results even though I'm working a lot, then I'm like, okay, you've been in your masculine for way too long, now you need to adjust, and then it may take more than one day, and so it just depends. You like, if I'm in a really good, healthy space, then you just make little adjustments daily, but sometimes if you stay in one space for too long, then it could take a little bit longer to get out of it. How do you feel? Do you feel like you're more masculine or feminine, or what do you do to kind of keep your balance?
Speaker 2:I'd say I'm probably more masculine. I'm pretty like I have to find and allow myself that not being too like okay, this is what we're doing, and like scheduling fun or scheduling joy yeah, I don't always do. Oh, I think I'm doing it by my walk, but that's not always. That's still kind of the masculine, even though I'm telling myself my walk brings me joy, but it's like I'm not behind it. I struggle with the feminine joy, with the not being so go with the feminine joy, with the not being so go.
Speaker 4:Many of us do Sometimes. We're wired that way, I'm wired that way, and it also is highly praised and rewarded in society too.
Speaker 2:I'm curious have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty? Oh, of course, yes. So he ends his podcast on purpose with two segments and I've stolen them. I end my podcast with the same two segments. I think it kind of rounds out everything. The first segment is the many sides to us and there's five questions and they need to be answered in one word each. What is one word someone who was meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as Energy, loyal, kind? What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as?
Speaker 4:Direct or bossy Direct, I think yeah.
Speaker 2:What is one word you're trying to embody right now? Presence? Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in up to a sentence what is the best advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 4:Surrender to God. Why is that the best advice you've?
Speaker 2:heard or received Surrender to God. Why is that the best?
Speaker 4:Because I think it pertains to every circumstance. Anytime I'm dealing with anything, if I just surrender and allow God to handle it, it just makes me feel better, it gives me a sense of greater peace and it activates my faith.
Speaker 2:What is the worst advice you've heard or received?
Speaker 4:Just push through.
Speaker 2:Why is that the worst?
Speaker 4:advice. Oh my God, it's the highway to burnout. It's like you know. What too many people are doing is like just push through, don't be weak. You got this, you know. It's like no, those are your body's signals telling you to stop and to do the exact opposite. Yeah.
Speaker 2:What is something that you used to value that you no longer value? Titles If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?
Speaker 4:She embodied her purpose and was a vessel for the creator to work through her and left this world a better place because of it.
Speaker 2:If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be? And I want to know why One law you know it's funny.
Speaker 4:I go back to when Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was and he said love the Lord, your God, with all of you. And then he said and love your neighbor as yourself, and if you do that, you'll find eternal life. If we loved our neighbors like we loved ourselves and treated everyone that way, what kind of a world would that be? What kind of a world? How would we experience each other as being a direct reflection and mirror of one another? And I just think that if we were able to do that, we wouldn't hurt each other, we wouldn't need the rules for all these other things, like it would just happen naturally, you wouldn't have to have a do and don't list, because you just would be embodying love.
Speaker 2:It's a lot of sense and it's very it is Well. Thank you so much. I really appreciate this.
Speaker 4:Thank you, amanda, I've really enjoyed our conversation.
Speaker 2:Me too. I do just like to give it back to the guest, any final words of wisdom you want to share with the listeners.
Speaker 4:Thanks for listening, and I think that what you cover, amanda, is so important. I think you're embodying what it is that you're showing others is that we can make a change. We can live through hard things and it's never too late to decide that you want to do something different.
Speaker 2:Thank you and thank you guys for tuning in to another episode.
Speaker 3:In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you, I'm booting for you and you got this as always. If you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five-star rating, leave a review and share it with anyone you think would benefit from this. And don't forget you are only one mindset. Shift away from shifting your life. Thanks guys, until next time.
