From Good Girl to Untamed Leader: Finding Your Voice & Speaking with Purpose | Lauri Smith | 194

What if the voice that’s been held back… is the very thing meant to lead?

In this powerful episode of Manders Mindset, Amanda Russo sits down with speaker, author, and soulful speaking coach Lauri Smith for a conversation about leadership, authenticity, and the journey from being the “good girl” to becoming an untamed, fully expressed voice.

Lauri shares a deeply personal story of growing up with unspoken pressure to be perfect, always composed, always doing the “right” thing. But beneath that identity was something more, an intuitive, powerful voice waiting to be expressed. Through theater, coaching, and life experience, that voice began to emerge, reshaping not only how leadership is defined, but how it is embodied.

At the heart of this episode is one transformative idea: leadership doesn’t have to be loud, controlling, or performative... it can be intuitive, creative, and deeply aligned.

This conversation explores how breath, intention, and presence influence communication, and how stepping into an “untamed” version of leadership allows for more impact, connection, and authenticity. From understanding the body’s role in communication to breaking free from templates and expectations, this episode offers a new way to think about voice, power, and purpose.

💡 In this episode, listeners will discover:

✨ What it really means to be an “untamed leader”
🧠 How childhood roles shape identity and self-expression
🎭 Why theater unlocked authenticity and presence
🗣️ The difference between speaking to impress vs. speaking with purpose
🔥 How coaching revealed natural leadership abilities
⚖️ The difference between aggressive, passive, and assertive energy
🌬️ Why breath is the foundation of a powerful voice
💫 A simple framework: intend, align, invite
🚫 Why letting go of templates leads to true expression
❤️ How to speak from the soul, not from expectation

⏰ Timeline Summary

[2:05] Redefining Leadership: Moving beyond outdated ideas and stepping into the “untamed leader” identity
[6:40] The Good Girl Identity: Growing up with pressure to be perfect and composed
[14:10] Finding Theater: A turning point that unlocked authenticity and creative expression
[24:00] Discovering Coaching: The moment natural leadership was recognized
[33:00] Assertiveness vs Aggression: Understanding the body’s role in communication
[41:20] Intent, Align, Invite: A simple yet powerful speaking framework

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Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Mandarins and Mindset podcast. Here you'll find both monologues and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, field artists, and a variety of other people. We're your host, Amanda Lincoln, who will discuss her own mindset and perspective, and her best mindset and perspective on the world around us. Amanders and Hope Last will help explain to you how to mindset the world social life.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Welcome to Amanda's mindset, the new example of the panel of different mindset. I am here tonight with Lori Storm, and student as a speaker, author, and the soulful speaking coach is the author of Your Voice Matters, a guide to speaking soulfully when it counts, creator of the Vocal Presence Path, and the host of the Soulful Speaking Podcast. And I am so excited to speak with her today. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you so much for having me, Amanda. Absolutely.

Defining Leadership On Her Terms

SPEAKER_01 1:02

So who would you say Lori is at the core?

SPEAKER_02 1:08

That's a great question. Recently, I have been reminded that I am a leader. I was a reluctant leader when I was younger. And probably because of, you know, what leaders were when I was young, and I didn't want to be that kind of controlling thing. And over the course of my life, in particular like the last 20 years, I've defined what a leader is to me, which is not someone who's just ordering everyone around. It's not a man in a three-piece suit like it was when I was a child. It is someone who has a vision for their world or the world to be better in some way. And they're moving creatively from deep presence in the moment toward that vision. And then can also communicate in a way that inspires other people who are aligned to partner with them, join them, walk with them on the journey toward making that real. And I these days I call that an untamed leader. And that's that's a very new phrase, actually. Like it will probably make its way into my bio in the future. It's something that I got reminded of, and that is kind of shaping us airs.

The Sober Baby And Pressure

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Can you take us down memory lane a little bit? Tell us about your upbringing, childhood, and family dynamic, however deep you want to take that.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Yeah, I am the sober baby. So my parents met in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I have four half siblings from their first marriages, and I'm the sober baby. So there was enormous pressure, unspoken pressure for me to like have my shit together. And I was very independent. Like I remember, you know, having a television on in the background and doing my homework and getting straight A's and all that kind of stuff. And to this day, I love to go work on a laptop in the middle of a cafe because I like the buzz of a little bit of noise and productivity from others, will help me get stuff done. So I took the lane of being good, getting straight A's, being the good girl who had it all pulled together. And it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I realized that nobody wanted or needed me to be what I thought they needed me to be anymore.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Wow. So now these four half siblings, did any of them live with you growing up? At different times.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

So not all at the same time. But they were more black sheep than I was the good sheep. And they were all nine years older than me or more. So they all came and lived with us at some point. And being the baby of the family, not a whole lot was ever explained to me. It would just be like all of a sudden, they're living in the den, or all of a sudden they're living in the garage. At least I don't remember anyone ever like stopping to explain what why the sibling is coming to live with us for a while. And I also remember moments in my 30s where I had a conversation with my mom and said, you know, I know I'm the baby of the family, but I'm no longer a baby. So there are certain things that haven't been communicated to me in the past that I'm going to request that you now start communicating to me because I'm a full-grown woman. I'm not the baby anymore.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

I get what you mean. So now did you move out at 18, right after high school? Were you there?

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Um, half and half. So I went off to college and then I would come home for the summers until I think it was at 21. They moved, they retired to from Burbank, California, where I grew up to Arizona. So I would go home for the holidays, but I think I stopped, like I made one visit at one point for part of a summer, but it that's sort of like the transitional period where, particularly when the home was no longer the home I grew up in, it became like, well, I'm not going home for the summer, I'm going to visit my parents in their new home for two weeks. But at 18, over three quarters of the year was spent away.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

I gotcha.

Choosing Theater Over Engineering

SPEAKER_01 6:16

Now, did you always know you wanted to go to college?

SPEAKER_02 6:22

That's one of those things that was kind of the good girl. I was the first to go to college in my entire family. Some of my siblings have now actually gone after I did as adults. They went back to college. It was just the like, well, that's what you did at that time if you were a straight A student. And when I declared my major for college, it was undeclared dash physical sciences and mathematics, because you had to at least pick a direction that you were leaning. And I picked that one because people said you could make a lot of money becoming an engineer. In high school, I had science teachers and math teachers that were also former actors. So the classes were really engaging and interesting. And then when I got to college, I was taking like a calculus, high-level calculus, five days a week, I think. And it was the version where the professor just has their head buried in a book and like a 500-person auditorium, and they're just reading the lesson plan. And I was sort of sitting there going, then why do I need to be here? Frankly, I can read the book much more in a much more interesting way to myself. And around the same time, there was I went into a theater class that was like the theater class that you needed to get into all of the rest of them. And it was a very small class in a very small room. And the professor asked everyone who needed the class to graduate, and theater was their major and was a senior to raise their hand. And he let them into the class. And then who's a junior and needs senior, junior, sophomore, freshman? And I think he said, I have two spots left. Raise your hand if you're a freshman and you're a theater major. And I raised my hand, even though I was not a theater major, in order to get into the class. And then this was like before you could do everything on the internet. I actually ran to the registrar's office and changed my major so that if he could see it, when he added me, it would be true. And I never looked back. Theater was my major in college. I also ended up minoring in psychology and history because those were the interesting professors where they were asking you to think, and it was a dying, you know, their lectures were dynamic and the discussions that you had were alive and dynamic. And psychology is, you know, there's a relationship between psychology and acting as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

So that's how you chose what you were going to major in in college. Yeah. Did you end up enjoying the theater major?

SPEAKER_02 9:24

I did. I had been acting from the time I was seven until I think I from about seven until about 15. And then in high school with a ton of sports. And I kept saying I'll I'll do something in theater next semester, next semester. And then they they canceled our whole theater program because the theater instructor had been stealing money from the school. Right when I finally created the time and space to take it, it didn't exist anymore. So that was part of why I think the non-good girl in me, the rule breaker, was like, I already waited once and it bit me in the ass. And my acting and theater, you know, pre-college was not honestly very good. And then in college, the first time around, that's when I really started to tap into what had drawn me to it in the first place. And I started to get good.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

And when you say you started to get good, how could you tell?

SPEAKER_02 10:36

It felt more real to me on the inside of it, which is funny because I think eventually I became a teacher and I had like the same process of like doing what I think I'm supposed to do and what a lot of other people around me were doing. As an actor, there were a lot of people overacting, not very authentic in the classes that I had taken as a child. And then it was like, oh, there's this way of doing it that, you know, the word, the buzzword for it now would be more authentic, more real. And it also felt more right to me, easier, more like play, where I was able to really listen and respond to the people that I was doing scenes with, and started having timeless moments where I almost couldn't remember what I had done when I came off stage because I was so in the moment doing it. And at the same time, people that I trusted, like the professors that I trusted, which wasn't always all of them, the professors that I trusted would be reflecting back. And directors would be reflecting back. So I would feel internally that something about it felt different, something about it felt good or right, and then they would be reflecting back from the outside that it was actually more engaging, more alive, worked better for the play or the scene or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

That is awesome. And I I think that makes a lot of sense. That is how you were able to tell that you got good at

Authentic Acting And Real Presence

SPEAKER_01 12:26

it. I'd love to transition a tad. You mentioned growing up about being a reluctant leader. Is there anything that helped you shift from being less reluctant?

SPEAKER_02 12:41

The first answer is at some point I stumbled onto coaching. And one of my first coaches, I think my first coach actually, in the middle of a coaching session, said, Well, you're a leader, you're a born leader, or something like that. And I was like, What? You're crazy. And then she kind of started reflecting back to me the ways that I was leading without realizing it. Things like leaders often go first. So when you're sitting in a class and they ask for a volunteer, you might volunteer to go first. But I wasn't really putting two and two together in that way. And I think she had me do an exercise where we sort of framed what had my impression been of leadership all along, and then what was the leadership that I was claiming for myself. And that's part of how I shifted from a reluctant leader who would be upset. I'm always volunteering, I'm always going first, I'm always speaking on behalf of the other people in the room, to then realizing, hey, you have a choice. You can do what the room needs, which sometimes is volunteering to go first because it's creating permission for other people. And sometimes it's actually not volunteering to go first. When you choose it, that's also an act of leadership. Like I'm gonna sit here and be patient until someone else raises their hand.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

When did you start getting into coaching? About how long ago?

SPEAKER_02 14:43

2008, I think it was. So it's been almost

Coaching Sparks A Leadership Shift

SPEAKER_02 14:49

18 years. Wow. Yeah. Um, a student in a theater class came up to me. I was teaching at a community college. So I was in my 30s. I had a student just a few years younger than me in my 30s, and I was very busy trying to do it the way my teachers had done it. And then there would be moments where I would actually do it my way and follow my intuition that were creating magic, but I wasn't really aware of it. And she actually came up to me and said, You're different. You have less of a professor style. That read from the podium style that I actually hated so much when I was in college. She said, That's not really your style. You have more of a coaching style where instead of professing knowledge, you know, from the podium, it's like you're at the same level as us and you're asking questions and blurting things. And when you trust yourself, you look like you're reading people's minds. And you're drawing the best performances out of my classmates. You wouldn't know it because you're not in the other classes with them. But I'm seeing what they do in the other class and what they do when they come into your class. And she said, but when you don't trust yourself, when you do it the way you think you're supposed to, it's really not working for you. And it was like, it's not, you know, that same kind of through line that had been there when I was acting, and it would feel icky, and then I would find my way, which was more authentic, more intuitive, and it would feel right. She was pointing to that. And I didn't even know what a coach was. But she said, I think you're a coach. You're either a coach or you'll understand your style as a teacher. And I went to my first coaching class off of her recommendation that I do it. And within 15 minutes of walking in, I turned to the woman next to me and said, I think I just found the final piece of what I'm here to do. And she said, Wow, what is that? And I said, I can't answer you with my mind yet. I just have this feeling that, like, this is part of home. This is part of what I'm here to do.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

That's amazing that she came up and told you that.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Yeah, very amazing. And years later, I called her up after some coaching class that I was a part of and said, Thank you for my life. Because if she hadn't, who knows if I would have, I mean, you know, if it feels like it's your home, maybe something else would have sent me there. And in a particularly gratitude-filled moment after taking a continuing education class, I actually called her up and left her a voice message.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

That's beautiful. So that that was the stout of you shifting, how you looked at the reluctant leader.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

Yeah. And shortly after that is when I hired the coach that I had met in one of those classes to be my coach. And then I did the leadership program of the same, it was called CTI, the coactive training institute. Now it used to be called the Coaching, Coaches Training Institute, and have embraced more and more being an untamed creative leader instead of that reluctant leader.

Naming The Untamed Leader

SPEAKER_02 18:27

How did you come up with the untamed quote? You know, it's been years of calling it different things. A couple of months ago, it fell into my head. So I had known what I believe true leadership is. And it was like, well, what do you call it when a lot of your potential clients might be out there and they're in the reluctant phase and they don't like the word leader because they're picturing the man in the three-piece suit, who's like a walking Saturday Night Live skit, and they don't want to be. What do you call them? So I'd call them emerging leaders and a gazillion different things. And I had niche down because you're supposed to, on just the speaking piece, which I do love. I love it very much. It draws together leadership and theater. In theater, we're telling stories, there's a live experience with an audience there. And speakers who are speaking on behalf of some mission that they're here for, are drawing on all those things. And I started noticing that I was missing the connection to the vision also being really important. And in niching down on speaking, some people, even though I say things like there is no cookie-cutter way, it's not one size fits all. I was still getting people almost asking for what they might get from a traditional speaking coach who's going to tell you that you need to be a keynote speaker, you need to make this much money. I don't do that. And then I realized they're asking for the leadership coaching part of this. That's the reason they keep kind of asking the same questions. And one day the phrase untamed leader popped into my head. As I was discovering ways in which in my business I might be tamed myself, like niching down to one thing because people say you're supposed to. And I redid my own talk and my own story in my talk, and discovered the from good girl to wild woman journey. And I was like, well, basically, it's like the good girl was tamed, and the wild woman is the untamed, intuitive, creative version of me. And it has such a strong resonance. I can't say that I'll never change it again because I have changed it many times. And part of being an untamed leader, or whatever I call it next, is actually following the energy, following the intuition, following the aliveness. And it really feels strong and clear to me now that those are the leaders that we need. Untamed, creative. They have a vision for something to be different. And we are willing to run our businesses, do our talks on a stage. We're willing to do all of that. From a a way that may not make sense to everybody else who's living in the cookie cutter box.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

That makes a lot of sense. I really like how it's connected and it ties into that timid gull. You know, that tamed, I also think of timid, but like that tamed tim it, you know what I mean? Like shy type of not gonna speak up, gonna do like people please almost like girl to this untamed badass woman standing up and leading how you need to.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Yeah, absolutely. And I was very timid a lot of the time when I was younger. I was shy, I was a highly sensitive person, I still am. I'm an empath. And there would be times in my life, even in high school, where the

Speaking Up When It Matters

SPEAKER_02 23:00

untamed leader who spoke on behalf of what needed to be spoken would pop out. And up until late 30s, early 40s, that would be very confusing for people because like the mousy, timid, shy, quiet Lori would all of a sudden just start speaking incredibly clearly. And even in high school, there was a moment when I was in all the AP classes because I was a straight A student, and then we had AP history, and then the next semester, we had a government class that all the AP students were in, along with students who were not AP students. And the very final semester of high school, when we're like, hey, I've done my work, I'm in my college, this is when I'm supposed to like cut class and go to the beach. This AP, sorry, not AP, this government teacher assigned us an extra 15-page paper, was totally coming from like that heart in the right place. You know, he was like, I have all these AP students, this will help them prepare for college. And that just did not feel right to many of us. And it came up in class one day, and I just went toe-to-toe with this chain smoking government teacher, picking it all apart. Well, you know, you're assigning it to us because we're AP students, but this is not an AP class. And there are students in the class who have not taken any AP classes. Oh, are you saying you're actually gonna grade them easier than you're gonna grade me? That's unfair. Just everywhere that he tried to go with like, I'm doing this for you. And he almost said something very close to, well, I'm not gonna grade them as hard as I'm gonna grade. And it was like, excuse me. And it was like probably a 15-minute discussion where I was just like debating him on this. I did not win, by the way. I mean, I really I won, I won the hearts of my classmates for speaking on behalf of all of us. And I honestly think I got an A plus on the paper itself later, not because of what I did on the paper, but because of how I debated him in the room that day. When class was over, he flung, he kicked a desk in the middle of the conversation and then flung the door open and lit up a cigarette like the minute he got out of the classroom. We all had to write a 15-page paper, including the people who had not been in the AP classes. That from someone who was just like shy, sitting in the corner, getting her straight A's. I remember students being like simultaneously in awe, in shock, and grateful. What is happening? But she's trying to get us out of the paper, so let's let her go.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Wow. Good for you. You know, maybe it wasn't, but you know what? Good for you. I bet they have, right? But like, you know what? Sometimes you gotta be the one to speak up, even if you didn't get out of the paper, you know. You don't know that he didn't start thinking differently about the way he was doing things.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

He might not have. He may very well have, you know, looking back with the wisdom that I have now, I'm guessing some of the people in the room were ecstatic that someone would speak up for them. That may have never happened, like someone may have never advocated for them in their life up to that point. And I also know that I experienced a visceral sensation of what it's like to be speaking in connection to like a larger purpose. Yes, it started out as I don't want to have to write this paper, but I spoke in front of the whole class because there was something bigger than that, call calling me forward to open my mouth and speak. And that has become something that I have worked with clients over the years to speak up. And then also some that are like, you know, I'm good with speaking up, I'm on my mission now, to remember what it feels like to be speaking from that vibration and not speaking accidentally from a mask of who they're told they should be when they're speaking, but really feel that connection to purpose and allow that vibration to come out on your voice and on your energy and to help guide the words that you say and how you say them.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

That makes so much sense. Do you have one suggestion you can give us to speak from like the heart more so?

Intend Align Invite For Heart Speech

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Absolutely. I want to give more than one, but I'll start. You can give more than one.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Because one of them aligns with your name, the breathing goddess. I love to give people three words intend, align, invite. The intend is the one thing. It's how to connect to that purpose. So it's setting an intention for the vibe we want to create in the room, air quotes. And the room can be TikTok if that's where you're called to share your voice. Setting an intention for what we want to create, an emotional or energetic word. So not like I want someone in a networking meeting to hire me. That's like a more left-brained, but I want people to have a feeling of hope when I'm done introducing myself. So even if we never work together, something shifted energetically in the room. Like, don't set anyone off when you're talking. That's pretty tamed. That's different than I want to feel the room come alive when I'm speaking and like the energy bouncing off the walls. Or I want to invite the room to ground. Maybe the room feels a little agitated, you know, so it can be almost anything, and focusing on that is more likely to create it than focusing on gosh, I hope I don't set anyone off or upset anyone. And it's about taking a more nourishing breath like we did when we were babies. And then having that breath support our voice, having space for breath when we're speaking, instead of just I'm gonna talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and try and get it out as fast as I can before I get off the stage. It's breathing, nourishing breaths and having breathing space for things to come alive and for people to emotionally digest what we're saying. So, in light of you being the breathing goddess, I was like, I have to give them intend. And I also want to talk about aligning or realigning our breath to the kind of embodied knowledge that we actually came in with as babies. We can do that as adults, our bodies can remember how to do that.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

I love those suggestions. Intention is really key as well, no matter what you're doing, setting an intention. And it doesn't have to be a big grand all like Jonah Lengy, you know, like it can be how you want to feel doing something, even if it's not speaking, even if you're going somewhere. What's the intention? And even telling yourself that intention, I think it also even helps us be more present. Yeah, it absolutely does. Because you're not just there, not knowing what you're doing, have your head in the phone, just walking about like you're trying to experience it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

And it's, you know, if I could have gone back and asked, like, my 22-year-old self, what's your intention for this thing you're doing? I might have realized sooner that I didn't have one. That it was like, oh, I'm doing it because I feel like I have to. Well, then either choose to do it with intention

Assertive Not Aggressive In The Body

SPEAKER_02 32:15

or choose not to do the thing.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

That's so true. Now, do you have a suggestion for people who maybe they struggle with stepping into that leadership role because they don't want to be seen as aggressive or bossy?

SPEAKER_02 32:38

Most of the time, well, I believe that there are three ways that we can show up physically in the world. And the world has made it very confusing because humans, especially in the Western world, like to break things down into two things: polarization, opposites. So we're taught to think that there's either aggressive or me, powerful or powerless, dominator or victim. And in reality, there is a third option. Aggressiveness and assertiveness are not actually the same thing. And there's a way that we can feel it physically. So, meek is like I might be upright, but there's sort of a lack of effort in my physical muscles and kind of a shrinking back. My heart is kind of caving in and I'm slumping over, and my energy is kind of related to it. It can look to people like we want to get out of the room. We want to back out of the room when we're in that state. We might not speak much from there. Aggressive or the physicality of aggression is like there's too much effort in all the muscles. Now all of a sudden, my jaw is tight, my eyeballs are tight, my hands are tight, I'm leaning forward. It's not actually that efficient. I'm not letting my bones do the work. And passion plus that level of effort can come across as aggressive or desperate. In most cases, depending on if I'm saying a statement and I've got all that effort and that forward energy, it's going to read as aggressive. And in my experience, when we're in that physical state, our peripheral vision also disappears. So we're not listening to other people. We're running a meeting, and physically, we're like trapped in this too much work physicality. And then the assertive physicality is my spine is straight. There are some muscles in my core and my back that are holding me upright. Otherwise, I'd be falling over in the fetal position. And there's a balance of effort and ease in my body. My heart is open, and my peripheral vision is open. So I see your face on the screen. I also see the light peeking in over here, and a snowman on the desk over here. That physical check for someone who doesn't want to be aggressive, but also doesn't want to like hold themselves back. Feeling your seat in a chair, feeling your feet on the floor is really helpful to eventually be able to physically just snap into it. I'm speaking my mind from an assertive place. I'm not trying to make you agree with me.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

That makes a lot of sense. And there's different ways the body will tell. Yeah. That is so cool. The body tells us and shows us so much, but that was cool hearing that explanation.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

And a lot of times, you know, I didn't say it while I was talking. If you want to rewind and listen to that again and actually try it on for yourself while I'm talking about it, your body will probably go, oh, I remember this. I remember times when I've been kind of in that too much effort aggressive stance, or oh, I know times when I've been kind of in the like held back, I want to speak, but I'm not doing it state.

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Wow. No, I thank you for that. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Now, is there any ways without noticing in the body to notice the differences?

SPEAKER_02 36:49

They're less my forte because I'm such a body person. And if we pay attention to our language, you know, I was a speaking, I still am a speaking coach. One of the things that I didn't love about the speaking coach world is that people love the word influence. And I'm like, that's kind of like saying make. It's a fancier word for I want to make you do what I want you to do. That's the physicality of the like overworking, I call it the control. If you notice yourself using language, that is like you're trying to control the situation rather than respond to it. That can sometimes be a clue. I haven't noticed this one as much. And I feel like on the flip side, if we're sort of avoiding or held back and kind of in the physicality where we're not showing up fully, we might use words like can't rather than I choose not to. Like it's just not possible for us, rather than I choose not to do that, or I won't be or do such and such. And I'm sure there are people that are experts in things like neurolinguistic programming who can give you like a whole glossary beyond the kind of seed words that I just said.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

No worries, I got what you mean. I was just curious about because you know, even some people in their heads and can't notice the body. I'd love to know, as the breathing goddess, any anything else you know about breathing and the voice.

Breath As The Engine Of Voice

SPEAKER_02 38:47

Well, I could talk for 10 days about breathing and the voice. Many people think that the voice just comes from here, the lips. Or maybe they're aware that you know there's a connection between our larynx or voice box and the voice. I'm trained in voice for the theater, not singing, but speaking. The voice really, at a minimum, starts like down at your belly button. And in reality, the whole entire body is connected. It really kind of starts like from our toes, or maybe even in the earth below our toes. And the mechanics of air coming in and air going out, it's much, much lower, and the air is really involved. If you've ever seen somebody play a wind instrument, they can't play it without the wind. We as human beings are wind instruments, and we can be wind instruments that are just blowing like the tiniest little bit of air through there instead of the full air going and carrying the meaning in the words and our passion and our life force without a whole lot of effort. Like we're not trying to squeeze the life out of our words, we're letting the air do the work, the breath do the work.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

That makes a lot of sense, and I think that's a different way for people to look at the even speaking, like even if it's not like public speaking, even just talking.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Yeah, I remember many years ago I used to fly around the world for a while there doing like one-day workshops in different cities, and in one of them, there was a husband and wife, and the wife was coming to the event and assisting. And I think she was giving me a ride somewhere, and her husband was there, and he was a very quiet, intuitive person. And he said to her, like, I don't want to become one of those loud people. And she said, That's not how Lori works. It's about like the breath. So if you're in a a room of 50 people and you want your voice to get from one end to the one end of the room to the other, the world has been telling you that you need to shout. When in reality, you let the breath carry your gentle voice across the room. And I come from the theater back in the day where you would be performing in a 500-seat theater, and there were no microphones in the floor or on your body. And you can do a love scene that's tender and quiet, and have people in the back row hear you. It's about the breath carrying the voice, including the tender tone of voice and intention, and also some energy of your energy bubble might be as big as that 500-seat theater coming out of the body 360 degrees in every direction. So it's not like it's shooting out in front of us, it's like there is this hug, and we're performing a love scene for you. And the little old lady in the back row, who used to be my mother when she was around with her hearing aids or not wearing them that day, they can hear you and feel your words. It can be hard for people to comprehend because many, many people in the world are not speaking from that place. If they want to be heard, they yell. And this is different.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

That is so true. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that extra information on breathing and speaking. I personally really appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you so much. Of course. I really enjoyed this, Lori. Thank you for speaking with me. Neat.

Rapid Fire Questions And Legacy

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty? Yes. He hosts a podcast called On Purpose, and he ends it with two segments that I love, and I have borrowed them and I incorporate them in my show. I give him some credit because they are the exact questions he uses. First segment is the many sides to us, and there's five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each. What is one word someone who was meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as? Expressive. What is one word? That someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as courageous. What is one word you'd use to describe yourself? Intuitive. What is one word you're trying to embody right now?

SPEAKER_02 44:21

Untamed.

SPEAKER_01 44:24

What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as intense? Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in a sentence. What is the best advice you've heard or received? Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

SPEAKER_03 44:51

Why was that the best? Because it helps us live the life that only we can live. What is the worst advice you've heard or received? What's coming to me was not advice.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

Um I got one. If you're gonna go to X Corporation, you need to look like money.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

But what is something that you used to value that you no longer value?

SPEAKER_03 45:47

Templates. Why why do you not value templates anymore? I'm just curious.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

Um actually, I probably value them, but I think I kind of gave my power away to templates rather than let me see if there's something useful in that template that I want to then rewrite to make my own. And in the spirit of untaming, it's time to do it without any templates for a while.

SPEAKER_01 46:21

If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?

SPEAKER_02 46:35

I have an image in my mind of people being vibrant and alive from head to toe, and really speaking from that place that we've been talking about, where it's like their body and the energy and the voice coming out of them vibrating in tune with their soul. If someone were like reading my eulogy at the end of my life and said that's what I spread, was people's voices vibrating in tune with the energy of their soul, I'd be looking or listening from wherever we go after. I'd be pretty happy.

SPEAKER_01 47:25

I love that. If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?

SPEAKER_03 47:33

And I want to know why. One law.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

Whenever you're speaking, you must speak from an open heart and be listening even as you're speaking. And why is that kind of speaking to each other and with each other is part of what will help change the world and raise the vibration on the planet? It's a very different thing to tell you an opinion that I have while being open-hearted and seeing and feeling and truly listening to you than it is to close myself off and not be receiving or listening to you. I get that. Well, thank you so much, Lloyd.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

I really appreciated this. Thank you so much for having me. It's been a great way to spend my day. Absolutely. And where is best place for listeners to connect with you?

Where To Find Lori And Closing

SPEAKER_02 48:57

The best place to connect with me is my website, which is voice-matters.com. And then my social links are on there as well, down at the bottom.

SPEAKER_01 49:08

Awesome. I will link the website in the show notes for everybody to connect directly. And I do just like to give it back to the guest. Any final words you want to share with the listeners?

SPEAKER_02 49:23

Your voice matters, your soul's voice, your untamed voice, which doesn't look any particular way or feel any particular way. Some people, when they become untamed, are jumping up and down on tables, and others are saying five words in a group meeting from the pulse of their purpose, and everyone stops to listen to their five words.

SPEAKER_01 50:00

Thank you so much, Roy. And thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Meander's Mindset. In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you. I'm voting for you. And you got this. As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five style rating. Leave a review. And share with anyone you think would benefit from that. And don't forget you are only one mindset left away. Thanks, guys, until next time.