At Your Core, You Are Love | Shannon Curtis | 208

What if the things you've spent your entire life searching for were never outside of you to begin with?

In this deeply vulnerable episode of Manders Mindset, host Amanda Russo sits down with speaker, author, coach, and founder of Angel Goddess Healing, Shannon Curtis, for a powerful conversation about trauma, addiction, grief, forgiveness, healing, and the journey back to self.

Shannon opens up about the experiences that shaped her life, from childhood struggles and multiple miscarriages to a seven-year addiction to prescription pain medication and the life-changing decision to seek help. Together, Amanda and Shannon explore what happens when we stop running from our pain, how curiosity can be more powerful than judgment, and why true healing begins when we remember who we are beneath the stories we've collected along the way.

The conversation dives into forgiveness, self-love, spirituality, inner child healing, plant medicine, intuition, and the profound realization that so many of us spend years searching for something we've carried within us all along.

This episode is a reminder that you are not your mistakes, your trauma, your addiction, or your past.
At your core, you are love.

💡 In this episode, listeners will discover:

💜 How childhood experiences can shape identity and self-worth
🧠 The connection between unprocessed grief, trauma, and addiction
🌱 Why curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for healing
✨ How meditation and awareness can transform your relationship with yourself
💔 Shannon's perspective on forgiveness and reclaiming personal power
🔄 The importance of remembering who you are beneath your stories
🌟 Why healing doesn't have to mean suffering
❤️ How self-love creates the foundation for lasting transformation

⏰ Timeline Summary:

[4:05] Childhood struggles in school, thinking differently, and finding an outlet through music
[13:03] Moving across the country, becoming a massage therapist, and following her calling to help others heal
[16:36] Multiple miscarriages, unprocessed grief, and the emotional pain that changed everything
[22:47] The progression of addiction, hitting rock bottom, and the decision to seek treatment
[31:23] Compassion, curiosity, and why people often need love the most when they're struggling
[33:00] Shannon's forgiveness method and the process of reclaiming your power
[43:24] Her transformative Ibogaine experience and the spiritual insights that followed
[56:59] The one law Shannon would create to change the world.

To Connect with Amanda:

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To Connect with Shannon: 

Website: https://www.angelgoddesshealing.com/

Get Shannon's Children's Book:  No More Monsters Under the Bed

https://www.booksamillion.com/p/No-More-Monsters-Under-Bed/Shannon-Curtis/9798218735326

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Shannon

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Manders Mindset Podcast. Here you'll find both monologue and interviews of entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, and a variety of other people, where your host, Amanda Russo, will discuss her own mindset and perspective, and her guest mindset and perspective on the world around us. Manders and her guests will help explain to you how shifting your mindset will shift your life.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Welcome to Manders Mindset, where we explore the power of shifting your mindset to shift your life. I'm your host, Amanda Mindset, and I am so excited to be joined with today's guest.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

I am here today with Shannon Codis, and she is a speaker, author, coach, and she is the founder of Angel Goddess Healing, a sanctuary dedicated to those looking for healing, transformation, and personal growth. Thank you so much for joining me, Shannon. Thank you so much for having me on your show. I feel very grateful to be here. Absolutely. So who would you say Shannon is at the core?

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Oh, at the core, I always say I'm love. I say I'm love. Like that's all I know to be at the end of the day. Not my name. I'm not my identity. Just who I am is ultimately the essence of love. Would you say you've always been the essence of love? Um, I've always been that. I haven't always known that. I feel like at the core of everybody, that's who we are. We strip away the identities, but I would definitely say I didn't always know that. But as I've done a lot of my healing in the last few years, I've just come to understand that it all comes down to just love. At the end of the day, that's who we are and what we're here to experience. And so that's kind of a simple question for me. It doesn't mean it's always easy to remember, but at the same time, I do truly believe at the end of the day, the essence of who I am is just love.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

That is beautiful. I love that. Can you take us down memory lane a little bit?

Identity Strips Down To Love

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Tell us about your upbringing, childhood, family dynamic.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

Yeah. So I was the youngest of three girls. We were all very close in age. My parents got married. I think my mom was three days after her 18th birthday. They had been dating a long time. And my grandfather said, you either have to be married or graduated or you have to be 18. And so she was still in college. And so she decided they got married. They've been together forever and had three, three girls, but we were all very close in age. And I think by the time she was 23, we had all three of us. And so, as you can imagine, it was, yeah, like a little bit of the fun, but chaos and the sense of having girls everywhere. And just my dad worked out of town a lot. And so that was hard at times, and the oil and gas industry had to be out of town. So that left us alone. But I would say the dynamics, pretty average family. So there's dysfunction in every family. But I would say overall, I had a really good upbringing. Looking back, and some of my trauma that I had happened when I was younger definitely played a part. But I would say overall, I had what she just call a really good childhood. I gotcha. Were you close with your sisters? Yep. We're my middle sister, we are 18 months apart. So we shared a room. I remember. And then my oldest sister, she's only a couple of years older than me. So we're actually to this day still very close and you know live in the same city and our kids and they go to the same high school and things like that. So yeah, I would say for the overall, we there's three of us. So usually there's always two that are maybe closer and then one and we kind of rotate, but I would definitely say overall lucky to have two older sisters. That's good that you have a good relationship with them.

unknown 3:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

We've been through our struggles. I would definitely say when we get into, you know, my traumas or my addiction, that really, really affected the family dynamics. Absolutely. Now, how

Childhood And School Struggles

SPEAKER_03 4:05

was school for you growing up? School was not the easiest, I would say, as far as grades. Um, so I started playing music, the oboe, when I was in second grade. We lived in Houston. And so you had to go to to go to a school that you weren't zoned to, you had to do the music program. And so I started in second grade and played all the way up to college, played until my freshman year of college and went to Europe for a little bit and played at Carnegie Hall when I was a senior. And so music was always a big one for me. But as first grade, I struggled a lot. Like I really, my brain, now I know it's my superpower, but at the same time, growing up, I didn't understand why I couldn't. My brain just didn't think the way other people said. I wanted to get around it in a way different way than like A plus B equals C. I wanted to think about it. Maybe if B is this, that's how my brain always worked. And so I found school was a big struggle for me. But surprisingly, I didn't finish college, but I just started up college again to finish my degree. And I actually have A's and a 4.0 GPA. So that's been a really nice adjustment, but finding a school that really works for the biggest. So you say you didn't finish college, but what did you start going for? Music education. I went to Baylor, it's a big school here in Texas, and I went for a year. And again, I just couldn't keep up with the grades. And then I never wanted to really be a music teacher, wanted to do music therapy. I always have this theme of therapy because I ended up becoming a massage therapist and now I'm going to heal these things. So looking back, I always wanted to do that line of work. But when it came down to it, college, the like college system, it just I didn't fit into that system. It didn't fit well. And it was a five-year program. And like I said, after a year, I really and I struggled with the religion. I struggled. You had to do, you had to take classes in Old Testament, and I failed Old Testament twice. And it was the hardest class ever. And so that was kind of an eye-opener, too, where it just didn't feel like it was a good fit for them. So how was that process like leaving college? I went, I stayed there for a little bit and I did junior college for one semester. And actually it was right when 9-11 happened because it was 2001. So I was going to my plan was to do a little bit of summer school there and then transfer to another school that actually had a music therapy program. And I got accepted for the music and everything. And then my grades, my GPA wasn't good enough from that one year. I don't really live with regrets, but I definitely think that was a consequence. That was really hard because that's one of those moments in your life. I could have maybe, if I would have gotten to that program and got to do music therapy, my life would have maybe looked a little bit different. So I wasn't able to. So I came back home. And then my sister and I, my middle sister and I, we got an apartment and I worked, and then we ended up moving down to the Florida Keys and becoming massage therapist about a year after that. So we figured it out, but I just felt like I was gonna try college, didn't work, and then I went on my way and kind of dove into the real world.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Now, what made you decide massage therapists was what you were gonna transition to?

SPEAKER_03 7:24

We went down to the keys to visit. My sister had a friend there and fell in love with it. And this is kind of the person I am. We came back and we're like, we're moving down there. And I think everyone looked at us like, hey, and sure enough, six months later, we moved down there. And so I got a job at a spa, a really nice resort there. And my sister worked at the resort too. She was in a different department, so I was at the front desk at the spa, and I think she wanted to start going. And there was a school in Key West, about an hour from where we live, south, the most southern island. And so I went ahead and signed up too and just fell in love with it. And we started our own business down there and had clients and really, really enjoyed the work. It's hard on your body, hard on your hands and stuff, but definitely just the helping people feel better. I think looking back, that's what I enjoyed about it was someone getting up off the table feeling better than they did when they first laid down.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

That's amazing. I love that. I feel like that's a big, a big transition from music.

SPEAKER_03 8:27

Music was always still part of my life. My daughter's 16, she's in the band and does. And so we actually do fun things through music or listen to it. So I've always had my parents are big, they do a lot of sponsoring, uh, Texas musicians and songwriters. And so it's kind of a part of our family that we really appreciate music. So I would say that I still have that aspect. And now I get to watch my daughter and she's loving it. Just get to see the, you know, the help that music does, it really just brings out certain sides of us and helps

Music, Frequency, And Awareness

SPEAKER_03 9:00

draw out emotions. And so we use it a lot for different healing therapies too.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

I get that. I completely agree. There's a lot of benefits in tones, vibrations, whatever have you. I got certified in sound healing about a year ago. So the bowls, there's a lot of benefits to all of that.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

I have one of the little flute behind me, the wooden one, but I love all those of the sound bowls, and I've really been getting into that. But like you said, I do think there's something with the frequency and the sounds. And I just saw something about how what we watch and listen to, the different hurts and stuff, the frequencies, it does play a big thing in our bodies. And so I'm actually really careful what I listen to because I just I think what you put in your brain really, really can help or hurt. And so I'm always careful. So music's a big one. What words I listen to, or my daughter, I really try to pay attention to that because I do think overall it can it can have an effect on.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

I completely agree. You know, sometimes we might not even realize the effect it's having. Unconsciously, like you said, it's that first step of even being aware of what am I listening to?

SPEAKER_03 10:07

And that's what I tell people. First, you have to be aware and curious. What am I listening to? Do you really pay attention to the song lyrics? Are you just singing them? Because I'll never forget when I was at this beautiful treatment center in the meadows in Arizona. I remember we talked about that and we played a song. It was a women's group, and it was the Rihanna Black and Blue. And I'll never forget listening to Love on the Break. I think that's what it's called, Love on the Break. And it was something about black and blue, and it's basically not in the best light. And I never really stopped to listen to those words. And I remember us talking about how that's really going into our brain thinking that's love. That's love. And so it's those little subconscious things that we're told, whether it's shows we watch, whether it's songs, whatever books we read, they all had these little subconscious things that we're not aware of all the time. So I just try to be aware. That's the first step to at least be aware.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

I completely agree. Awareness is always step with basically everything.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Yeah, you gotta at least be curious. And I love the curiosity. I always say curiosity didn't kill the cat, it's what set her free. And I love that because that's like, yeah, I always say, because they always say curiosity killed the cat. I'm like, no, curiosity is a good thing. You have to be curious. That's the first step is to be curious why you're behaving the way you are. What are you listening to? How what mood are you in? I guarantee if you start being curious, you start asking questions, you'll start figuring it out.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

I also think even a little quiet, a little silence as you are trying to get curious. You know, we have so much stimulation, so much noise, phones, notifications, kids, like everything. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 11:53

Like, give yourself a little bit of like quiet time to like get we don't listen to um, we never really have music on. I have my big meditation room where I work in here, but in my house and stuff, it's so quiet. People come over and we're like, this is how it is all the time, because we never really have the TV on. And you know, I don't go to sleep with the TV, but there were so many things in the past, like you said, I wasn't even aware. I constantly needed noise, I constantly needed that stimulation, and it wasn't actually helping me, but I think I was just so used to it. And so what happens is when you take all that away, are you able to sit in the quiet with your thoughts? And that's what happens is what I found a lot of my clients when you take all of that distractions out, you're just left with yourself. It's a scary thing sometimes. And so I think that it's important to have those moments. And I do meditation every day, twice a day. My partner, I we meditate it the evenings together, and it's a big, big part of our life. And I think it's helped me on my spiritual and healing path for sure, just having that quietness.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

I get it completely. Now, I'd love to transition a tad.

Massage Therapy And New Starts

SPEAKER_03 13:03

After you were doing massage therapy, you said you did that a couple of years. I think by in school took like six months, and then yeah, we I was there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Okay, so you were in Florida for a couple years.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

And then I moved to Santa Fe all by myself, didn't know a soul and moved across country because I was gonna study oncology massage, which is for cancer patients. And so they had a school there. Yeah, and so again, there goes that theme of helping. And I did the spa stuff and I loved it, but my soul is always a soul that wants more. I'm always gonna dig a little deeper. I'm always gonna, that's just who I've been. And that was 20 years ago. And looking back, I can see that I had always wanted to help, but I was very intrigued by the psychology massage and I studied it a little bit, and then the school got shut down. Something happened. So I lived there for a year, but it was such a beautiful town to go from the keys to go to the ocean to Santa Fe Mountains.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Wow. Now, you said the school got shut down. So, did you not end up woken with the cancer patients?

SPEAKER_03 14:07

No, I wanted to. I actually had an injury. I was working at a spa there. That was my main job. And then I started doing the school was just every so often. It wasn't like a big college or anything. And so I think they they stopped that, but I had a wrist injury. And so I had that moment and it was about a year. And again, there was it was just intuitively in me to I was ready to come back to Texas. I had gone to Florida, moved to Santa Fe, didn't know anyone, you know, kind of created this life. I really needed to get away and just wanted to become healthy. And I was the healthiest version of myself that I had been. And so after that injury, I was like, okay, I think I'm ready to come back to Texas. And so that's what led me back home and to Texas and been here really since. How long ago was that? About oh yeah, like I said, 20, yeah, 20 years ago, I'd think. And I'd have to look. Yeah, because right after that, within the year, is when I met my ex-husband. And within three, four months of us dating, pregnant, married, you know, and and so my daughter's 16. So yeah, so it's been a good amount of time since I've been back.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

So what what was life like for you when you first came back? You had the injury. Did you start working? Or I did.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

So when I came back, I was working with my family and they're in the oil and gas. And so I started doing a little bit of that. I got a little massage therapist job out of the spa where I lived, the town, but it wasn't enough to really make a difference, you know, for the mount pay rents and all of that. So I bought my first apartment and here. And so I started working for my dad and I started doing that. And then I met, like I said, my my ex-husband. And and then I didn't work for him until a couple of years ago when I started Angel Goddess Healing. I didn't really, I didn't, I wouldn't have a career. I didn't really have a drive to do. I did some dog stuff and dog training for a little bit that I was maybe interested in, but it was just something that I I didn't know what, but I knew there was something I was supposed to be doing that I wasn't doing at the time. And so that played a big role. And probably like my divorce and doing making that step was it was just wanting to explore that little thing inside me.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

I gotcha. Now I'm curious.

Miscarriages, Grief, And Numbing

SPEAKER_02 16:24

I'm transitioning back at Tad again. But you you mentioned a place, a sanctuary that you went to in Arizona, I think you said uh-huh. Yeah. When was that you went to this place?

SPEAKER_03 16:36

Okay. So I got married and then we had my my daughter had a really hard time getting pregnant, staying pregnant, had lots of miscarriages, had five miscarriages, and I never dealt with that grief. I never dealt with that. And so that plays a lot into my story is that I never really took the time. Oh, I'll never forget. I didn't even know you could have it where they went in to do the ultrasound and check the heartbeat, and there was no heart. I didn't even know that was possible. So you can imagine the shock. Like you're sitting there and the lady's, you know, doing it, and she's like, How far along I you're trying to tell her? And she's like, Oh, and then you get, well, just wait for the doctor, and you're like, I still didn't think anything was wrong because I didn't even know that was possible that you could, you know, lose a baby without actually miscuring. And so that was gut-wrenching when I had to go sit in her office and she said there's no heartbeat. And I'll never forget that. And I walked out of there with a prescription, I think, for Valium, for pain medicine and antidepressants, you know, and so that was that first thing of that that helped because looking piecing my addiction was it was always there in the making because I never dealt with the trauma. And then I never did a card for a therapist or for a grief counselor. I literally got prescriptions. And so I had to go back in a couple days and check again, and there was no heartbeat. And so that was really hard to have that first surgery. But they said you're good to go. You're young. I think it was like 23, 24. And so, right after that, literally got pregnant again. And I just thought, okay, this is a God thing. This is just to teach me that you need to appreciate the pregnancy. And every time I got pregnant, I always appreciated it. And it was about a week before our big wedding. Everyone was coming in, and we had a bunch of people, he was celebrating kind of his bachelor's and my bachelorette, and I started bleeding heavily, and it was so painful. And I ended up in the ER that night with my molem, and it was the most gut-wrenching thing. And I'll just never forget the visuals of that and the feeling of it. And just I know what was going on, but at the same time, they came back and said, Well, your numbers look okay. So they sent me home and put me on bed rest. So I remember for like two, three days just like feeling I'm not even gonna get off this couch. I'm gonna save this pregnancy. And I got the call on Monday from my doctor. Uh, I had to go in and check my numbers, and I think they checked them again and they were going down. And so she let me know that they're going down. So that means you're not gonna, this is not a viable pregnancy, and you you lost a good amount of it. So I went back a couple days and the numbers weren't going down the way they wanted. So it's Thursday night. I have all of my guests flying in, my maid of honor, everyone, the next day, Friday for rehearsal dinner. They call me Thursday night and said, Your numbers aren't going down. So we need to bring you in in the morning to have surgery, emergency DNC. So, you know, you don't get in trouble and have any problems. And so I show up there. I remember everyone got their nails down, and I did later, but it was that thing they pushed me first thing in the morning to have the surgery knowing, getting married the next day. And it never crossed my mind to cancel just to grief. And so I had my surgery Friday morning, and then Friday night I had my rehearsal, and the next day I got married. And the thing that stuck out the most was again, you're on pain medicine, you just had surgery, and I was, you know, drinking all the champagne, and it taught me to numb it. It taught me the pain medicine, alcohol, whatever substance got me through instead of just stopping and really sitting with the pain. And so those were some big things, and I it got harder and harder till I had my my daughter's truly a miracle baby, but it was really, really painful, and that's where I would say my addiction stuff free my daughter. I it started right the day I gave birth to her with the on a C section, but the pain medicine I attached it helping to numb pain, but it was really emotional pain.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

That was not wow, Shannon. I can't even imagine. I don't blame you for wanting to numb that emotional pain at all. Oh my gosh. All the people on top of it, like oh I know.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Looking back at it, again, you're doing the best you can, but those were some of the darkest days of my life because the grief and I didn't know how to process it. I finally found a grief counselor, went to her a little bit because I was just lost. And again, I was on Lexapro. I think I'd gained a bunch away from Lexapro, so I'm miserable on that. Like I'm talking a lot, like 50 pounds and you know, a few months crazy. But again, never putting two and two together because it was so out of my wheelhouse. If I knew the things I know now, but I didn't. And so unfortunately, I think society a lot of times we don't know how to deal with grief. We don't know how to just honor the pain and not numb the pain. And so now that's why with my work and who I work with clients, and you know, I had my addiction to pain medicine for seven years. Seven years I had it. I have no shame with it. It's been nine years since I, you know, I've been through kidney stones without pain medicine. I I have a strong will. And so now I I'm okay dealing with pain and physical. Pain doesn't kill you. But the biggest thing was I learned how to deal with emotional pain. And I finally, when I went to treatment, the Meadows is a beautiful, it's a trauma center. So they really deal with trauma and the inner child, Pia Medley and the book of Codependence. And so she's all about inner child. So that was the first time in my life I really stopped and had six weeks to stop and find out who is Shannon. Who is she? Who's your story? What's happened to you? Let's process it. Let's talk about it. And I never had that. And I am forever changed from going to that place forever.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

Now I'm curious how you got to the point of being ready to go to a place like this.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

Yeah, it wasn't pretty, that's for sure. I think what happened was I was starting to get so numb. And that's what happens in addiction. That's why a lot of people you need more and more. Because again, you know, you get to that status and then you gotta do again. And do it. So mine was always just pain medicine and doctor prescribes, but it took up every day, every thought, every

Addiction Spiral And Hitting Bottom

SPEAKER_03 23:08

day of when do I refill? Because what happened was for me, I got physically dependent on it. And so I was gonna have surgery. I had something I had to do. And so I've had endometriosis, I've had uh you know miscarriages, I've had uh C-section, I've had at 35, I went through menopause, like I've had a lot of bladder disease. So I've had a lot of physical elements, and so I had valid reasons, but at the same time, there were definitely excuses, permission slips to, you know, go and get pain medicine. And so I found that it gave me energy. That's how it all started was I had my C-section and urine pain. And then I remember, okay, what's this making it easier to get up and do? And then my husband at the time started working out at town that same week when I came home with my daughter. And so I, you know, took my medicine as I needed, but then I noticed I got a little energy when I was able to do the dishes and the laundry. And so for me, I'm like a one out of 10. And what I learned at the meadows is I react different. Sometimes people don't like it, makes them pass out. It makes me feel like I drank some coffee. Something like it, it gave me energy. It gave me a hot, literally. And so that's how I started the relationship was it it made me feel good. It made me not only numb, but it also gave me energy. And so that was a lot of it being a new mom, was using it just to kind of live life. I wasn't going out there partying, it was just to maintain the house and do laundry. And as crazy as that sounds, that's kind of the relationship I had with it, was that I liked that feeling. And so after oh, can't remember how many years into it, I I quit cold turkey. And I was up to a lot of pain pills a day. And I I wouldn't worship wish it on my worst. It was the worst experience of my life. Just every kind of flu times a hundred. And I didn't go, I didn't go to any meetings. I didn't just did it all on my own. My mom helped me and my husband at the time. My daughter was a couple years old, and I just remember the shame, but but just feeling so bad. And I never wanted to go through that again. But I didn't deal with it. I didn't deal with it. I just quit cold turkey. And so about three months later, I got really sick, I got strep throat, something really bad. And the doctor, an ER doctor gave me prescription, and I was like, well, I'm I'm good. I'm good now, and I'm sick. It's validated. And I remember taking it. And it was just again that feeling, that like old friend, that ah, there you are, that little bit of a buzz. It just makes you feel better. It just makes you feel better. And so that started it until I went to treatment, but I really started upping my game, meaning, you know, I needed more, I needed something more that I wasn't feeling numb. And unfortunately, my marriage wasn't in the best place. But we weren't really even, I think, sleeping in the same room. Like it was just very much not in the best. We were like roommates and never really dealt with it. And so I unfortunately dealt with it outside of the marriage and had a very short brief affair. And that's really what I was hoping, I wanted to be seen. I remember stopped wearing my wedding ring so my ex would notice me. I remember it was our anniversary and he forgot it, like little things like that. And instead of saying it, instead of saying, hey, this is what's going on, I just acted it out. And that's why I always say when people act the worst, it's when they need to be loved the most. I was just wanting someone to see me. Are you gonna see my bad behavior and ask, what is going on? Are you okay? And so no one really did that. My family did a little bit. My sisters, they saw some things, but I wouldn't imagine it didn't feel the most loving, nurturing. Maybe it was more like I'm bad versus, you know, are you okay? And so my mom, when all of this came out within the same day, my mom called me and said some lots of nice things to me, but they were true. It was like I was hearing a mirror and I did not like that person. And my mom said, Will you just go get help? Well, literally, I kid you not. Before she finished that sentence, I said, Yes. I was just waiting for someone to say I was worthy enough of help. And now I know and I need that, I am worthy of it. That's all I was waiting for was someone to say, Hey, you know what? You go get help, you go fix, you go fix your heart, you go see what you need. And so that was probably the most heartbreaking thing looking back is that I was waiting for someone else to tell me I was worthy to heal. And so I left the next day and got on a plane and never looked back. But I remember being there, and it was at nighttime when I got there, and they have all these stones and beautiful things that people paint that leave. And there was one that said that's always darkest before dawn, and I'll never forget the sunrise coming up in the morning and seeing that dark and seeing that and remembering it. It's always darkest from right before that sun comes up. And I never looked back. And the most beautiful God thing was I didn't have any withdrawals, I didn't have anything because I didn't want to have withdrawals. I didn't want to be sick because I didn't want to miss any part of the six weeks. I was like ready, and so I was good to go. And I just started and never looked back, and I really dealt with everything that I possibly could have up until that point. And it just taught me I could be sober and I liked who I was.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

That's beautiful, Shannon. I want to highlight how you mentioned when people are acting at their worst, they need to be loved the most.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

Yeah, because there's a reason why it goes back to that curiosity when my daughter is acting out or doing. I don't always go to like again, I always never say punishment, I say consequences because there's a reason why. And it could be silly

Treatment, Compassion, And Facing Fear

SPEAKER_03 28:58

because she's a 16-year-old, maybe just hormonal, or there could be something going on, and there could be something with school or a boy. And so that's what I always try to say, or with my clients, be curious, don't be judgmental. I think there's a big difference of being curious of why someone is acting the way they are versus judging them. Because I guarantee, like you just said, now knowing my story, you probably don't have as much judgment about my addiction, knowing all the pain. But when you don't know that and all you think is just some, you know, woman that who had everything just chose to be an addict, that's not how it is. And so I got a lot of shame with that word, addiction. And it took me a long time to get over that. Where now I'm like, that was just a beautiful tool. Literally, it was a tool that helped keep me alive and keep me engaged because if I didn't have the tools to deal with my trauma, and so how can I shame myself for not knowing that, not knowing? And obviously, when you know better, you do better. And so once I thought that out, I was like, nothing, nothing is. I mean, I remember I hurt my arm, almost broke it, and went to the EER and they were asking if I wanted medicine. I said, no, I just got in that grit. Like, no, it's not like I am just not doing that anymore. I'm gonna face the pain, whether it's physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, whatever it is, I am ready to do. And so that's what I do now is constantly just facing my fears because the only way to make your fears go away, disappear, is you gotta look at them. It's like the always it's the exact opposite. The only way to make something go away is to look at it. So thank God at that time I was ready to look at everything and it went away. I didn't never had a craving, you know. I was didn't drink alcohol for about four, almost five years, and then I did for a little bit, and then now I think it's been two years, but I did the whole AA thing. I did the 9090 when I came back, and I really immersed into that. And now I don't even know the date, it just stopped serving me. Just one day I was like, I don't really, and so that's when I truly knew that I'm done with it because it wasn't because I had to, or it wasn't because I was trying to save my marriage, and that's why I stopped drinking. This I don't drink because it just doesn't make me feel good. I don't feel as good. I don't get to feel as close to spirit and God if I drink. And so for me, it was just a simple thing of letting it go.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

Wow, that's beautiful, Shannon. That's amazing. You know, I love that comment that you made, like people acting their works. I think that's even so true for little kids who might not be able to express fully whatever it is they're thinking, feeling, experiencing, you know, like why are they acting this way? They need a little more compassion, they need a little more love.

SPEAKER_03 31:48

More love is what you said. I think unfortunately, like you said, with their kids, they they have so much pressure that they forget to be kids. And I think we should all stay kids as long as we can, if not forever, because it's that innocent, that childlike, that giggling, that laughing. When I was in treatment the first time I laughed, I was on a swing because I felt so shameful and bad. And I mean, everything in my life just exploded, and you know, these dirty secrets come out, and I'll never forget that moment of just swinging and giggling from that belly laugh. But you know how it is when you're on a swing and it gets you all tickly, and it brought me back to that. And so I really like color all the time. I try to do stuff that's a little dance, whatever it is that I think I love that you said that kids do. They need just a little bit more love and compassion.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

I want to transition a chat. I heard you mention this on a different podcast, and it really resonated with me. But you were talking about forgiveness, and I know you chat a lot about that, and how forgiveness is giving it back to the abuser.

SPEAKER_03 32:56

Yeah, so I'm working at trademark the forgiveness

Forgiveness As Returning The Pain

SPEAKER_03 33:00

method, and I'll slowly be doing that. I'm still working on it and getting it kind of perfected and do like a masterclass on it because I really learned that oh, we don't know how to truly forgive. We haven't been taught the right way. And so I feel like forgiveness is for giving your pain back to your perpetrator, and forgetting is forgetting your power because when we literally give it back to that person that hurt us, and it's like, that's your shame, that's your pain. And we'll go into it at some point. But when I was four, I was molested and I didn't fully remember everything till I was, you know, in my 40s. And so part of my journey of that, I went to Mexico and did a beautiful spiritual experience was forgiving my perpetrator and seeing him in front of me and realizing he's of the same light as me. Ultimately, at the end of the day, if God and I are up there and I want to learn, you know, what forgiveness is, guess what? Someone's got to do something too, right? So it's like you have to have discernment. And so I saw it in that higher perspective of that's what forgiveness is, is literally saying, I'm not your pain. That's your pain. That's your pain. My pain, I'm gonna work on healing it. But what happened to me, which you did to me, this says nothing about my worth. It says nothing about who I am. And so when I did that, I realized that I got all my power back. Because when you let the perpetrator and you just let them give them all the power, that's what happens, is they're literally holding your power. And I'm like, no, no, no, I want my power back. And so I can honestly say I have forgiven everybody in my life. And there's some people that someone would say don't necessarily deserve it, or even like active abuse. How do you do that when someone's actively hurting you? And I've just learned you have to keep giving it back to them. And when you know your worth, you know their actions, nothing to deal with you. It's all about them, it's a reflection, and so it's just very simple, yet we complicate it. And that's like my passion in the world is sharing this forgiveness method, is so people can understand how to actually forgive other people that really forgive themselves. How did you come up with this? So, my children's book that I wrote is I would say is like a hybrid children's book. It's called No More Monsters Under the Bed. And it's this beautiful journey of a girl who's scared of the dark, and she has a guardian angel who comes and helps her, and they go on this journey. Well, part of her journey is she meets seven spiritual animals, seven animals, and they all

Chakra Based Books And Healing Steps

SPEAKER_03 35:40

give her little gifts. And so it's basically going up your chakras. And so, and each animal is very special, like the roots is a cardinal. And so the kids don't know that you're really introducing the chakras, but there's seven animals, and then each come in and give a help her remember her special gift. And so that was really born. And then I have a series of seven books for the children coming out, and I say children's hybrids, inner child in us all. And so the first one um I just finished for the series, and that's the cardinal one with root, but it's all about anger and doing that. And so each book is going to be based off of that animal and that chakra and how we walk through that. And so that really got me on my forgiveness method because it's a seven-step and it's starting with the root. You have to start with the root, you have to name the problem, and then you work up to the sacral and feel the pain and can't get stuck, and then your solar plexus and your heart. And so it just goes all the way up, but you have to start somewhere. And so the biggest thing is obviously like the root, you have to create a space to even just say what happened, say your pain, whatever it is, in order to forgive. That's the first step, is you literally have to say it, but not with judgments. And a lot of people say what happened and then they minimize it. This happened, but it wasn't as bad. So I really work with people on not minimizing their pain because your worst pain is your worst pain. And so there's no comparison of mine because pain is just pain, it's just on scales. And so I really work with people on trying to honor that, honor their truth first, and then we can start working on the forgiveness, but really just feeling safe enough to say it out loud.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

I love how you mentioned your worst pain is your worst pain. Like for every single person, you know, and I facilitate breath work and I talk about this a lot, even with my one-on-one clients. Something that bothers you so badly, the same thing could have happened to your sister, and it might not bother her the same way. Right? Because we're all we're all different. So I I love that point that you made there.

SPEAKER_03 37:50

Yeah, and it teaches us not to, I think a lot of times we do that to minimize it, meaning, like, like almost like you don't have to a right to be upset, or say, like I said, I had five miscarriages. Do I think that someone only had three miscarriages has a less right to grieve? Absolutely not. And so it's that thing of we get so caught up on judging each other and comparing and judging ourselves against each other. And so that's what happens is pain is pain is pain. And so at the end of the day, have compassion for other people, they're really, really at the root of it. I'm trying to teach people to have compassion for themselves. And so you'd be so surprised at how many people will want to talk about things, but then they really don't. They're like, Well, but my dad was a great guy. I'm like, Yes, but he hits you every day. Where it's interesting to see how people justify it. And my parents, I love my parents, but there were things that I do better. And I my help is my daughter does better than me. And so it's not taking away from that, but you do have to name that to first even want to forgive, to move into forgiveness. You do have to name that.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

No, that makes a lot of sense about having to name it. I love this book and the whole idea for the the seven to come. I love that, and then as a way to introduce chakras to younger people so they will understand, but also be interested in it. You know what I mean? That sounds fun. Oh, there's a code note to it. There's a an emotion with it. It's not just like, well, this is the color.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

No, this is in the visuals, so it's another god thing. I always get so many in my life, and I'm a spiritual medium, and so I was getting a tattoo. I had this big angel ring I've been wanting for a long time, but it was a big deal. I was kind of scared to get it and be like, once you get it, like there's no going back. And I found this artist just happy, and I went and I was he was getting working on me, and I kept getting these downloads, these little intuitive hits. And I'm like, I text my boyfriend or fiance boyfriend at the time. I said, I just found my illustrator for my book. And I said, But he doesn't know yet. I just got it. I knew, I knew, and so after he was done, I asked him and I said, I have this very special project, I just tell a sweet, sweet soul. And he said, I'll he's from Cuba, doesn't speak good English, and we just had this beautiful relationship. And I'll have to send you a book, and it's absolutely these illustrations are literally out of this world. And so now he's doing all my other ones, and it's a whole beautiful, again, just God thing of it was born from just having this. My my phone dropped one night and it dropped again. And I was like, what is going on? And it was just thinking, No more monsters under the bed, shining your light on the dark. And I just knew and I got on the plane the next day, and it just came out of me. And I literally have all seven stories already. They're all no more. That's the gonna be the series. Is this one's no more monsters? It'll be no more pain, no more fear, no more running. They're gonna be walking the kids through. And then when we get to teenage, instead of no more, like in O, like no more of this, it'll be K-N-O-W. And so it's no more. We're gonna no more God, no more love, no more peace. And so that's gonna be another series that I already have in my head. I just got to get them written. And it will walk these kids through what it's like to fall in love first, what it's like to be a teenager and maybe lose a parent, or what it's like to have them curious about sex, or whatever it is. I want to talk about the uncomfortable conversations that no one really wants to talk about, but I want to talk about them with the kids because they're really the ones that are the future. And that's what I'm so passionate about is the forgiveness method that really it all started from my children's books that are, you know, being made and coming out. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 41:50

Now, I'm so curious. I ask every guest I speak to who's written a book. Prior to you writing this first one, did you always think you would write a book about something?

SPEAKER_03 42:02

Funny enough, I did. I remember before I got divorced, or was it not one night? And I just kept telling them there's something. I'm always that person when you see the horizon, you see the sun go down. I want to know where it goes. I'm just that person. And I said something. I said, I know I'm gonna write a book. I just don't know what I'm writing. And I said, maybe I'm getting my topic right now, or something jokingly. And then the coolest thing is when I went and had my spiritual journey in Mexico, I was writing a bunch, writing a lot, and I knew and I wrote and I'm gonna write a book. I knew it, and I just didn't know when, didn't know how. I never thought it'd be children's books, but I actually like it because you adult, the reason why these are so beautiful is you and I can read it, and it will just j be it's just as powerful as a child, and so that's what I like is helping everyone, the inner child in us all. And so it's kind of cool how it's just across the board. Doesn't matter. We all have a monster under the bed, we all have a fear we have, we all have something. We just have to remember our light and to shine it. And so that's what I liked about this series is it's something at any age they can read.

SPEAKER_02 43:14

That's amazing. I love that. No, when you were in Mexico writing, were you if you don't mind me asking, were you doing ayahuasca?

SPEAKER_03 43:24

Or like no, no, no, and Ibegaine. IBogaine. So I went to EMBO. My fiance, he works for them. This wonderful place. They've been blowing up. And so I went there and did ibegain, and it is a super

Ibogaine Journey And Deep Release

SPEAKER_03 43:37

strong one. It's it's very different than ayahuasca, and it's very it's more medical, and you have to be monitored, and there's a doctor and nurses and things like that, but it's a spiritual journey with them. And I always say it shows you grit, shows you things. You don't always have visuals. The cool thing is they don't really know how it works or why, but it's changing in TBIs. Are going away. They use it for Parkinson's mass damage, mass house. Like you name addiction, it takes all the withdrawals away for heroin addicts. I don't know about literally you go in and you won't go through full withdrawal. And so there's things like that, but it really is working with vets for PTSD. And so my fiance, he has some brain injuries, and so he went. And I saw the difference. But when he was there, I just had that calling. We're like, you know, and the medicine starts talking to you. And so I said, I'm gonna go. And I was pretty good. I was about 90, 95% good. And then I just had that urge to go. And so that's really when I went and I was in my experience. And I told you I I wrote, it's very unusual. I'm like probably a one percenter of that that you really can't even move. Like, do they call it tax a toxic? You can't move and you're wobbly and stuff. I just I sat up the morning and just wrote, wrote, wrote, and it's like my blueprints. Like I always joke, it's like my little Bible, and I go back and the things that's where I wrote you will write a book, and all these things that I wrote have come true. And so it's just a cool little thing that changed my life. And that's where I really delved into my forgiveness of my perpetrator and understanding my molestation and what happened to me. And that's what really changed me was seeing that and seeing God and seeing that perpetrator and being able to understand that he was of the same light as me. And I gave that forgiveness back. And I instantly said, This is the best feeling in the world, and this is what everyone needs to understand. And I remember writing too about I've been all over the world, I've seen everything because I traveled in the heavens, I was just everywhere. It's pretty hard for most people. So don't take my story, don't take my journey, because most people, it's a pretty big struggle. Um, mine was just literally bliss. And I just wrote and wrote and wrote, and I just wanted to come back and like share that. But I wrote, it all comes back to love. It just that's all it is. The end of the day, all of this silliness, all of this stuff we're doing, all this pain that we're causing each other. The only answer to fix it is love. That's it. That's all I know.

SPEAKER_02 46:12

I agree with you, Shannon. I think love would fix so much in the world, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03 46:18

Yeah, you just got to get back to it. And so that's my you know, work. My life's work is just really helping people remember. I feel like I remembered who I am, just like when you asked me. I'm like, that's easy. That's the easiest thing you can probably ask me, is who I am, the essence of because that's just my belief and my everyday living. And I I this isn't my job. This is who I am helping people. And I never, ever ask anyone to do anything I haven't done. So I always say it's not gonna be easy, but I'm not gonna ask you to look at anything that I haven't looked at. And I have to constantly, every day, I still, still over and over, my journey's never done. But I would say when I lead with love, it's a whole lot easier.

SPEAKER_02 47:01

I'm curious. I'm sure you've had many of these throughout your life, but I'm curious what you would say was the biggest aha moment you've had in your life.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

Oh, yeah, that's gosh, like you just said, I've had some I would say my biggest friend is knowing

Remembering Who You Really Are

SPEAKER_03 47:22

that it's me. I'm who I'm looking for, I'm who I'm searching for. You want to look for love? I'm here. We are our own answer. And so once I figured out everything I was ever searching for, ever wanting, is in within me, and I'm the creator of my universe, and I love, like you said, changing your mindset. It's just perspective. Which side of the coin do you want to look at? Because we have to have the good and the bad. We have to have the bad to understand the good. It's just the world we live in, and so I think the biggest aha is when you don't fight it and you surrender and just know it's perfectly orchestrated and that everything that I possibly could need and all the love resides inside me.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

I love that, Shannon. And I love how you mentioned which side of the coin do you want to look at? There's multiple angles, literally, to everything.

SPEAKER_03 48:20

And that's why meditation helps me, and even like plant medicine journeys, because it gets you out of your head. And that's what I work with my clients a lot. You have to get out of your head to get to your heart. Your ego lives in the head, that's what keeps you thinking, all these thoughts, and there's it serves a purpose, but you don't need from that. I always it's like driving a car. And I always say, ego, you're gonna be in the car, but you're gonna be in the past, right? My higher self, my soul, my over soul, my purpose, I'm gonna be in the driver's seat, right? You can play with the radio, you can do whatever, but I have that internal direction, my my soul, the essence of me. And so, ego, yes, you play a part in it, but you're gonna be in the passenger seat. And so when I do that and I lead from my heart, and I have that knowing everything else really is very peaceful when you first lead with your heart.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

That makes so much sense. Now, I am curious, you've mentioned your clients a few times. Would you say overall you help them with the most? I'm sure all of them are different, but generally.

SPEAKER_03 49:24

Yes, I would say generally it's that remembering who they are. Like you just said, who are you? Because I ask people that, and most people don't know. I always kind of start out with, okay, if I have a Mary, uh magic fairy wand and I say, all right, poof, whatever you want, your highest desire, your best version of yourself, I'm gonna give it to you right now. What is it? Most people don't know. They don't know, and that's okay. That's okay, but that's where I come in to help them. But most people are so into their trauma, the stories of who we are. So when you strip all the stories away, so I can't wait to write my book. I'll write a book one day of my life because it's just a story, it's not me, it's not Shannon, it's a story of things that happened to her. And so that's where I really think the biggest thing is that I help people bring back to. I'm also big on healing, it doesn't have to be suffering, doesn't have to be painful. So I really try my way, so you can go on for years of therapy of doing all that. Or I feel like I kind of found a trick of, or what if we just go to love? Because once you go to true love and compassion and forgiveness, all that other stuff falls away. It falls away because you're like, oh no, well, that's that was for me. That was for me. Everything that has happened in my life is happening for me, not to me. It happened for my highest good. I know that. And so even when I'm worried about stuff in the future, don't worry about it, Shannon. It's for your higher good. Your ego in the passenger seat might be like, where are we going? Where are we going? Because you don't know yet. So that's that just trusting and sit back and enjoy the ride. So that's what I'm keep doing and help clients do is really just get back to that.

SPEAKER_02 51:12

I love that. So many people feel like they want happy or they don't have X, Y, Z, but it's like you ask people, well, what is it you want? And so many people couldn't tell you.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

No, because they just we we just we don't know what the point is. And that's where even I work with people that do go and have these beautiful spiritual experiences, and then they come back, they don't know what to do. And so that's what integration, I'm an integration prep and integration psychedelic coach as well, because I help people. If you want to go sit in plant medicine, absolutely it's life-changing. But if you don't, I'm big, big, big on intentions. If you don't know why you're doing it, don't do it. Don't do it. Have intention, just like every day. Don't just get up to get what are you trying to accomplish? What do you want? And when you do that, you can have all the knowledge in the world. But if you don't know how to integrate it, you're gonna feel lost. And so I think that's what happens to a lot of people is you can give them all the tools, you can give them all the colors and a blank canvas, and they just don't know what they want to draw. And so I think it's a great place to start for people is what's trying to passion. That's it. We're not supposed to just work to work like little worker bees. We're actually supposed to be here to create. So let's create some magic in your life and what makes you happy, what makes you want to create magic?

SPEAKER_02 52:31

Let's create some magic. Absolutely love that, Shannon. Well, thank you so much. I really enjoyed this.

SPEAKER_03 52:39

You're so welcome. Thank you for having me too on this beautiful show. And I love the mindset and just everything you're doing. So I really appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 52:48

Thank you. Absolutely. I feel like I'm sure you have, but have you heard of a man named Jay Shetty? Yes, I have. So he's got a podcast called On Purpose, and he ends the podcast with two segments, and I've borrowed those two segments and end my show with those two segments.

Fast Questions And Closing Message

SPEAKER_02 53:10

First segment is the many sides to us, and those five questions, and they need to be answered in one word each. What is one word someone who is meeting you for the first time would use to describe you as kind? What is one word someone who knows you extremely well would use to describe you as strong? What is one word you'd use to describe yourself? Love. What is one word that if someone didn't like you or agree with your mindset would use to describe you as crazy? What is one word you're trying to embody right now? Please. Second segment is the final five, and these can be answered in a sentence. What is the best advice you've heard or received?

SPEAKER_03 54:12

Stat, we're not here to save this world. We're here to build a new one. I think that's one that really sticks out. Just not here to save anyone, just here to be me and build a new new world.

SPEAKER_02 54:26

Love why is that the best?

SPEAKER_03 54:30

Because it reminds us that that's all our job is, is to be love. Just be to be. At the end of the day, that's all I have to do to make a change in the world is just be me. It's pretty simple.

SPEAKER_02 54:45

What is the worst advice that you've ever heard or received? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 54:50

Worst. Oh my. So many. Um, I'm trying to think of the worst. I would say anything that tells you to not listen to your intuition, not listen to that gut. I think that's probably the worst advice you can give, and it's to not have someone tell you to not trust yourself. That's all you have. At the end of the day, I have a lot of people in my life. It's guaranteed.

SPEAKER_02 55:21

That's true. Why would you say that's the worst?

SPEAKER_03 55:25

Um, because I think for me, the worst I ever did was betray myself. Out of everything I did in my life and all the pain that I've endured, the worst pain that I truly endured was when I turned my back on myself and my truth and my trust and my intuition.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

That makes sense. What is something that you used to value that you no longer value?

SPEAKER_03 55:48

Money. I use money as an exchange. I need money for to live in this kind of construct that we made, but there's no real value in it when I look at it. It's just to, you know, live along this world that money doesn't have power, doesn't have anything over me. It can come, it can go, but there's not really anything behind that money that I don't value it in that way anymore.

SPEAKER_02 56:12

If you could describe what you would want your legacy to be, as if someone was reading it, what would you want it to say?

SPEAKER_03 56:20

And I've thought about this. I've changed a little bit, and at the end of the day, I know right that I was the best mother, the best mother, because I truly think that that's how I got to heal myself is being the mother to my daughter and leaving the world a better place. And so if someone looked back 50, 100 years and read my story, out of all the trauma, all the pain, everything I went through, the greatest joy was raising my daughter and having her be an amazing human being.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

That's beautiful. If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?

SPEAKER_03 56:59

And I want to know why. One law, uh-huh. Judgments. We judge everybody, we judge ourselves, obviously, but judgment. Take that off the table and watch the world change because the judgment's just fear. Obviously, it's love or fear, love or fear. And fear is that judgment that you're different, and we're all the same. We're all here together, and we're all coming in together, we're all leaving together, and so there's no getting around that. And so that would be my hope is that we can drop judgment and move into more kindness, openness, and love.

SPEAKER_02 57:34

I like that law. Thank you so much, Shannon. I really appreciate that. Thank you for those questions too. It got me thinking. Yeah, absolutely. Now, no pressure, but I do just like to give it back to the guest. Any final words you want to share with the listeners?

SPEAKER_03 57:53

Just my hope is that listening to anything that resonated is that I motivated you to find a little bit more self-love to fit. That I motivated you to hear my stories of my pain, my shame, my addiction. All I've been the bad and I've been the good. And I can still look in the mirror at the end of the day and say, I am a beautiful, amazing, innocent child of God. And so that would be my hope is knowing you're not your pain, you're not your woes, you're not your actions, you're not your bad choices. You're just love. And so that would be my help is that they find a little bit of love for themselves and then go spread that to other people today.

SPEAKER_02 58:29

I love that. I will link Shannon's website and her socials in the show notes for you guys to connect with her directly. Thanks again, Shannon. And thank you guys so much for tuning in to another episode of Mando's Mindset. In case no one told you today, I'm proud of you. I'm voting for you. And you got this. As always, if you enjoyed the show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave me a five-star rating, leave a review, and share it with anyone you think would benefit from that. And don't forget, you are only one nine-step shift away from shifting your life. Thanks guys, until next time.