Imagine chilling with your best friend over some bubbly and snacks, having a heart-to-heart on a topic we've all grappled with - body image. This episode is that conversation. Navigating the pressures women face to look a certain way and the countless hours and dollars spent on trying to achieve these unrealistic expectations. I revisit a conversation with a client struggling to love her body and shares an unorthodox approach - STOP trying to love your body.
The first step isn't about loving our bodies, but about choosing to take loving actions towards them. My ultimate goal for you is to spend LESS time obsessing over your body and more time living your life to the fullest. It's about giving yourself permission to like your body and work towards loving it at your own pace. So grab a drink sister and let's explore a healthier and more realistic perspective on body image together.
Do me a favor and if you needed this message, share it with a friend.
Imagine chilling with your best friend over some bubbly and snacks, having a heart-to-heart on a topic we've all grappled with - body image. This episode is that conversation. Navigating the pressures women face to look a certain way and the countless hours and dollars spent on trying to achieve these unrealistic expectations. I revisit a conversation with a client struggling to love her body and shares an unorthodox approach - STOP trying to love your body.
The first step isn't about loving our bodies, but about choosing to take loving actions towards them. My ultimate goal for you is to spend LESS time obsessing over your body and more time living your life to the fullest. It's about giving yourself permission to like your body and work towards loving it at your own pace. So grab a drink sister and let's explore a healthier and more realistic perspective on body image together.
Do me a favor and if you needed this message, share it with a friend.
It wasn't that you love your body. My goal was that you think about your body less. My goal was that you appreciate your body for what it does. My goal was that you see your body as this beautiful, magical machine whose job is not to look pretty but to help you live a great, powerful life.
Danielle La Rose:
Girlfriend, are you ready to have the talk? We gotta get real. We gotta get listen. We're just sitting on the couch. We got some coffee, maybe some like okay, maybe not coffee. Maybe we're gonna do like cheez-its and some like pretzels with some cheese sauce, maybe some french fries, like we're having a girl's night. Okay, we got some champagne. We're just hanging out. Okay, I want you this is where we're at right now.
Danielle La Rose:
This is the conversation we about to have because you are my best friend, okay, I want you to imagine that, like we are besties. Here's what I and I wanna tell you. I wanna speak to this based off of that notion. I wanna talk to you like you are absolutely my best friend and we're chilling, and you say this to me because a client of mine, who I adored, recently said something to me and I wanna share my response that I had with her. I wanna share that with you and kind of elaborate a little bit in a friend way rather than a client coach style. You know what I'm saying. So what she said to me was you know what I do is I help women love their bodies, right? My ultimate goal is that you think about your body less, so that way, you live more. I want you to spend your time and your energy and doing the things that you love like living a great, freaking life, and what we know is that majority of women spend 12.5 hours a week thinking about their bodies and how to change them right, and the average woman spends about $250,000 in her lifetime on products and surgeries and different things to change the way that she looks. There's no judgment here. I'm currently wearing my makeup. I got my hair done. Like you know what I'm saying, like there's no judgment, for whatever you choose to do.
Danielle La Rose:
What I wanna share, though, is that how did I get off on this tangent? I don't even know where I was going with this. With that being said, you know, so, like, that's what I do, and so this one client was working with me when we were working on her. She had health and fitness goals, she wanted to lose weight, and she wanted to lose weight, though in a healthy way, that where she also learned how to love her body at the same time, she would really struggle with her body image. So, of course, me, my first step is no, we're gonna figure how to help you love your body first, and then we're gonna figure out the food and fitness part next, because when you love something, you take care of it, and so that was the goal. And you know, homegirl, like I don't teach people how to lose weight. I hope you had to be healthy, and if the side effect is weight loss, cool.
Danielle La Rose:
Anywho, my point is that one thing that she said to me was she said uh, why can't I just love my body? Why can't I love my body like you do? So I'm going to imagine right now, us sitting here eating our cheez-its and our pretzels and having some champagne. I'm going to imagine, as, what are we watching? We're watching like, maybe, big Brother, the Bachelor, or we're watching like Bachelor in Paradise, dancing with the Stars, whatever you choose out of those like it's cool, turn that on. And we're watching this, and we're just having this conversation. And let's just imagine right now that you just said that to me.
Danielle La Rose:
I would say, sister, you don't have to love your body. And let's be really freaking clear. I don't love my body every single day either. Look, I've lived my whole life being told that my body is wrong. You too, right. Like, my hips are too wide, my knees are too big, my I have too much cellulite, I have wrinkles and I have gray hairs that I'm not covering up, I you know, I have my stomach pokes out and some of my most of my jeans don't fit. You know what I'm saying. So, like, I've been told my whole life that my body is wrong, and you probably have too. And depending on how old you are, okay, we're best friends. I'm just going to say you're 40. Okay, I'm currently 36. Am I 36? 37? 36. Okay, I don't know, it doesn't matter.
Danielle La Rose:
Point is that I've spent 36 years of my life being told that my body is wrong and being told that I should want to change it, and so to think that, by just working with a coach for a month, that now, all of a sudden, I'm going to be able to love my body is unrealistic. Would you like it a little bit more? I hope so, but you don't have to love your body. So, sister, like you, you don't have to love your body and so you don't need permission from me to for anything. You need permission from yourself. But if you do need outside permission, I'm giving you permission right now to not love your body. And yes, I just told you that I want to help you love your body. But maybe right now we need to work on liking our bodies until we can love our bodies. And let's just imagine you're like do you know? That sounds really great. But like how I'm so glad you asked me that Listen, we get to take loving action towards our bodies.
Danielle La Rose:
So you don't even have to like your body, you don't have to love it, you don't have to like it. But if you're like, well, you're a young girl, you better take loving action towards it. What can you do today to show your body more love? And in one of the next episodes I'm going to be sharing some, some a list of things that we can do to really show our bodies love. But I want you to just think right now, like you are a smart, intelligent woman, like you know what makes you feel good, and like, oh yes, girl, I just took care of myself. Like, what is that for you? And you get to decide. Is it a meditation? Is it a long bubble bath? Is it an exercise? Is it eating veggies? Is it what is it? And you decide what that is, but you do not have to love your body. If that is a struggle for you.
Danielle La Rose:
The hard part is is that? Let me guess you just open social media and you saw all these self-love gurus who were like love your body, look at my cellulite, look at my wrinkles, look at my rolls, and like I still love my body as it is. No, they don't, and I say that in a loving way, as someone who used to post those photos. They do. They might, in that moment, they might have gone from hating their bodies to loving. They are loving their bodies the majority of the time, but they still have insecurities Like that's the reality of the world we live in. We still live in a world that tells us that a woman is supposed to look a certain way.
Danielle La Rose:
So if you don't look like that which nobody can ever look like that if you don't look like that, then you think something's wrong with you. You think that your body is wrong and so no one ever is going to be obsessed and in love with their bodies all the freaking time, and so you don't have to either. So this is your. I'm giving you permission right now. Don't love your body, like it and take loving action towards your body until you get to a point to where you love it and just be. Have some grace with yourself, because it is going to take time. It's going to take energy.
Danielle La Rose:
If you spent 36 years hating your body, or let's just say 22 years hating your body, you think you're going to just love your body in 22 days. It doesn't work that way. So there's nothing wrong with you and you don't need to compare your love for your body against someone else who shows up on social media and says they love their body because you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. They can post that photo and, in the same sense, they can turn around and be, you know, restrictive with what they're eating. They might struggle sitting down to eat. They might work out five hours a day. They might look in the mirror and be like, oh my gosh, I can't stand that. It looks that way.
Danielle La Rose:
And then they take a picture, a certain way to just show you something specific, because maybe that's their job, maybe that's how they make money, that's how they want to grow. Maybe that actually helps them mentally start to try to love their bodies, right? So there's nothing wrong with the people that are doing that, but if it's sending the message to you that something's wrong with you because you can't love your body, that's where I have the problem. And I want you just to know, as a friend, that you don't have to love your body. It's okay to not love your body. It's okay to try to take loving action towards your body until you get to a point of loving it.
Danielle La Rose:
And let me even take it one step further and say really, my goal for you is not that you love your body. I say that because that's what most women want is they want to love themselves, they want to love their body. My goal isn't that you love your body. My goal is that you think about your body less. My goal is that you appreciate your body for what it does. My goal is that you see your body as this beautiful, magical machine whose job is not to look pretty but to help you live a great, powerful life. So I don't need you to love your body. I need you to step more into your power and fulfill your purpose and your passion and do everything in your power to think about your body less.
Danielle La Rose:
So if you want to love your body, start there. Start with. Maybe you need to step away from the mirror. Maybe it's time to really list out some of those actions that you can take towards your body that make you feel really good. Maybe it's time to ask yourself where would I prefer to spend my time? What thoughts would I prefer to have in my head rather than the thoughts about my body, just to name a few? Obviously, I will be back with you to tell you lots more details and ideas and tips and strategies for creating a mindset of gratitude and appreciation for your body, which is why I call it body confidence.
Danielle La Rose:
I'm a body confidence wellness strategist because I want you to be confident in your body. That's the goal. You don't have to love your body, but I want you to be confident in it, and I want you to be confident in your ability to make choices that are right for it. Okay, you hear me. Okay, I'm going to eat some more cheez-ups, as I promote eating whatever, I don't care, I love me some cheez-ups. Okay, there is no judgment here. We eat food that makes us feel good and fuels our body. Anywho, that's a complete side note.
Danielle La Rose:
Thanks for the見. Listen, I hope. How does that make you feel? How does that sit with you as we're watching Vanderpump rules? Because, as my friend, I don't ever want you to compare yourself to me or anybody else, and I definitely don't want you to go from a place of hating your body and being upset at yourself, from hating your body to now being in a place to where you're trying to love your body, but now you're upset with yourself that you can't love your body. That isn't doing us any good either. Neither of those extremes is beneficial. So the best thing that we can do is not beat ourselves up over how we feel in comparing ourselves to other people, but rather to say home, girl, I don't have to love my body, but I get to take loving action towards it.
Danielle La Rose:
So I don't know if you needed that reminder today, but if you did, I hope that this served you. I hope that this helps your mindset as you're pursuing a more confident body image, and I hope that if this does serve you and benefits you and you're like oh my gosh, that makes me take a big deep breath and make me feel so much better, because it's okay that I don't love my body, even though I feel like I'm being preached out every day to love my body, but I just can't get there. Thank you for making me not feel bad about not loving my body. If that's you. Again, I hope that this served you and, if so, please share this with a friend. Tag me on social or shoot me a personal message. I'd love to hear from you and how I can support you.
Danielle La Rose:
And if you're like Danielle, I need more than that. I need the list. I need to know the things. I have a question about this, like home girl, send it to me, so that way I will address it. I will either help you personally, because I love that, and also I can use that to share more on this podcast, so that way we can help more people. Anyways, go about your day today, stepping into your power, focusing on what's really important in your life and reminding yourself that you don't have to love your body. You get to take loving action towards it and you get to take your time and your energy and apply it to the things that are actually important to you, and your body is the least interesting thing about you. Okay, all right, sister, thanks for girls night tonight. I appreciate hanging out with you and I will get to talk to you next time. Okay, bye friend.
