Hi. You can call me M. In this episode, I'll tell you a little about how I plan to help the addict that still suffers.
Hi. You can call me M. In this episode, I'll tell you a little about how I plan to help the addict that still suffers.
What is up, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in right now. If you are listening to this podcast. I know one thing for sure. And that means that you're alive. So that's pretty fucking crazy.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-1:my name is M and I feel incredibly grateful to be sitting here, getting to talk to you today. And there's probably a hundred different things that I want to say, and that I want to talk about right now. But the first thing I need to say, and the most important thing that I'm ever going to say is this. If you're a drug addict right now. And you're experiencing a world of pain. And you feel like you're in the deepest, the deepest circle of all health scape. I want you to know that there is a way out. That, despite any of the pain, any of the feelings that you have right now and all of the pain that you have. I want you to know that. It's temporary. It's only here for right now. And maybe you've been feeling this way for a few days or a year or your entire goddamn life. I want you to know that there is a way out. And hopefully if you listen to this podcast or any podcast or any other way that can get you help you too. We'll see. That there, that there is hope and there is a way out. Yeah, I I just wanted to open up with that. Anyways. Yeah. Who, what the hell is this? Who the hell am I right? So my name is M and that's not my real name. I'm keeping it at M right now for anonymity sake. It might reveal myself later on, but. Yeah. Let's let's see how this thing goes. So the reason why. I want to start this podcast. The thoughts of an addict? Is I believe that the best way for an addict. Well, you know, whether that be to alcohol or narcotics, whether it's weed or crack or whatever the hell your drug of choice is. I think there's real value in an addict, helping another addict. And. I think through these damn radio waves, this might be the best way to get my message out there. I I'm not in this to get famous. I'm not enlisting. Shit, you don't even know who I am. You might not ever know who I am and that's totally fine with me. I don't even know if anyone's going to be listening to this thing. Hell, I don't even know if my microphone's working right now to be quite honest. You probably hear my voice is a little shaky. I'm a little nervous right now. I I really don't know what I'm doing, but I decided it's time to give back to. All the people that have helped me through my addiction. And maybe I could give. Some of the wisdom back that I've picked up through through the last five years. My ultimate goal of this is that. Well, there's just one person out there. Just one suffering addict. Who's able to hear this message. And maybe goes listens to the advice that I offered goes and gets says, this guy's an idiot, but I want real help. That's a huge win in my book. If I can help one person. Then this whole experience for me is incredibly cathartic and. Yeah. I'd love to help. Anyways. Who, who am I? Right? Who the hell is em? So right now. I am. A dude, a 30 years old who goes to business school, probably a pretty big, pretty good business school. People would say, I don't know, I don't care. I'm not a prestige hound. Like I used to be, um, From the outside, looking in, people think that I'm pretty fucking positive guy. My classmates used to say that I had a resting stoke face that. You know, they look at me and it looks like I'm just a happy dude. Just absolutely stoking on life. And to be quite honest, I'd say that's pretty true for the most part. I'm a, I'm a pretty fucking happy dude, but you know, it, it hasn't always been this way. From the ages of around 16, the 25. I was a very, very deeply disturbed. Degenerate just absolutely fucked up. Addict. And that's not to say that I'm still not, you know, fucked up in a lot of ways. There there's remnants of addiction that I think will never go away in my mind. And. And that's and that's okay. You know, I opened this podcast saying that I am incredibly grateful but I I'm always, I'm always going to be an addict. I'm not going to give you my whole life story right now. I think as I As I continue to work on this podcast, I think I'm going to give you more glimmers into my life and the struggles that I went through. And that's not get people to pity me. I don't need a petty party. I've probably pitied myself throughout my life or for four or five lifetimes where it's so that's. That's not the goal here. I just want to let you know that, yeah. My life is pretty, pretty good right now from, I don't know, societal perspective and from the fact that I'm pretty fucking happy, but. I did not come out this way, man. I was I was like Pantheon or whatever the hell that Greek God's name is, who. Who stole fire and brought it back to humanity, right? I was in the depths. I was in the trenches of. Fucking deep addiction for many, many years of my life. And I never thought things would get better. And I'm here telling you that. Yeah, they, they absolutely can. So I personally am a 12 stepper. I don't want to, I don't want everybody running for the Hills now. It's like, oh fuck. It's one of these fucking guys talking about his 12 steps thinking. That's the only way. I think one of my key messages, at least in, just in this brief introduction that I'm doing with you today is the 12 steps are not the only way for you to get clean. Okay. It's what worked for me. And it's what worked for a lot of the people that I've seen. But hell I have a ton of friends who have more clean and sober time than I do, and they ran the hell out of those rooms. It just wasn't for them. And. Yeah, a lot of the stuff that I'm going to be talking about is inspired by the 12 step program. But a lot of it isn't. I need to make it very clear right now that I am not a representative of the 12 step program. I don't want you to take what I'm saying and think, oh, this is good. This is a, this is a 12 step meeting that that's, that's not what this is. There's actually quite a few things that this podcast is not. First of all, I am not a licensed therapist. Uh, I have no traditional training in any of this. I thought about being a therapist when I was younger, but I absolutely nuked my psychology class. So yeah, that, that dream flew out the window when I was 18. So that's not my role here. Normally a doctor, this is none of this shit's medical advice. This is truly just an addict. Trying to talk to other addicts out there trying to connect. But no, I have no medical background. I'm not smart. Right? I'm not cool. I don't have any of these fancy schmancy degrees. I'm just some fucking guy. Okay. So take everything I say with a grain of salt. And then also this, isn't going to just be like a list of affirmations. If you want to be told that everything's going to be okay and everyone's amazing. And. Eh, just a bunch of positive stuff. I'm sure that you can go on YouTube and find plenty of playlists of. Some lady with a really sweet voice feeding you affirmations for six hours, but that's not what this podcast is going to be. Okay. This podcast is going to be. It's going to be raw. That's what I want for this. Okay. I think it's going to be. Very true and scathing at times. And I think it's going to be dark and probably hard for me to talk about a lot of things. But I don't know. I think a lot of value lies and lies and truth as difficult as it might be. And so those are all the things. The podcast is not what. What is this? What is this podcast with this random not cool. Normal dude who just bought a microphone yesterday. So this podcast is me an addict with a fucked up deranged, derelict mind. Who's been able to find his way to a degree in this world. And I just want to be talking to other addicts who. Who think that there's a way in fuck. Even if you don't think there's a way maybe you just liked the sound of my voice. I don't know. My hope is that you can glean from all of this fucking rambling that I do, and that I'm going to be doing something that's going to be helpful for you.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-2:So now a little bit about. Why. Why am I doing this? For fame or for money. No, I don't. I don't even really think people make that much money from podcasts. Unless you get a manscaped sponsorship, in which case you get a. You know, a pube shaving razor, but that's. That's certainly not my point here. And as a quick aside you'll tell that. I'm a little bit crass here, a little rough around the edges. I curse like a sailor, but that's unfortunately the only way I can speak, honestly. So, sorry. In advance if that offends anybody. So why am I doing this? I think that this is my overall life purpose. To help the addict. That's still suffers. I don't fucking know why I was able to break out of active addiction. I don't know if it was the 12 steps or if it was through my meditative practices or for. Fucking the great Juju in the stock, in the sky, or just stupid fucking luck. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, but I'm hearing now. And I have some time and I'm going to use it to try to help some people. Aye. I can't imagine. A better way that I would want to spend my time. Then to help people that have been in the same fucking depraved hell hole. That I was in for the formative years of my life. And you know the question. Why now? Why am I doing this now? And. I think the thing that really lit the fire under my ass. Is. My closest friend. Of, I don't know, 12 years met him when I was an undergraduate at UCLA. Yeah, he died. He died of an overdose about a month ago. This was my absolute fucking closest friend in the world. Well, I'll protect his I'll protect his name, but man, dude, Talk to this guy every day for the last 12 years of my life. He was going to be the best man at my wedding. And. This fucking disease. Got them. It got them. And. I fucking hate addiction. I hate seeing what this can fucking do to people. I just had a job in San Francisco for the last three months and, I'm walking next to everybody with the briefcases and then in their nice suits and. You know, walking to work. Stepping over fucking half dead people just so naked, you know, get to there job, whatever the fuck. It's such a fucking problem, dude. It's such a fucking problem. And I don't, I don't know what the solution is. I'm not a very political guy. I don't know. What's in place here, but. I think someone needs to try to help do it. And I'm not fucking Superman. I'm just a drug addict. Uh, microphone. Okay. And I like to think that if my buddy, my dear fucking buddy got. Got some help that he would have needed. Then he He would've been with here with us today. And yeah, I don't want that to happen to anyone. Certainly anyone I fucking know ever again. So I'm going to do my part in their lives, on a personalized basis. But fuck dude, if I can. Help. Prevent the fucking grief and just the F. Fucking pain that I feel. From his passing. And I can help prevent that then. Fuck, dude. Then I've done. I've done my part, man. And that's all I really need. Anyway, sorry to be so goddamned, dark. Um, Shit there and just. I guess let's try to fucking end this thing on a positive note. Cause it's not, yeah, the, the fucking addiction itself, it is doom and gloom, but the recovery part, man, Jesus Christ. It's the most magical thing in the world. Dude break. I promise you breaking out of active addiction. It's not easy. I mean, if you, if you're listening right now and you wanted to stop being an addict. You probably would've just fucking done it by now. Right? If it was that easy. But it's not, it's fucking hard, but I'm here to tell you. I'm living proof. It's possible. Okay. And. I'm going to have other people on the podcast. Other people that have had their struggles, other people that are spiritual guides and they, and I'll mention this too, right? Like I'm not a political guy, but I'm pretty spiritual. Not. I wouldn't say religious in any regard, but this podcast is going to be. It's got to invoke some spiritual principles, whether that just be meditation, praying a lot of these, a lot of these methodologies just really work. Yeah, I mean, this was a lot of fucking rambling. I clearly have no goddamn clue what I'm doing. Just a. Just as to, this is what the thoughts of an addict sound like. I guess if anyone. If anyone was ever curious. So I'm going to start trying to pump these things out. Start looking for. Different topics that I can discuss, hopefully a few times a week. That hopefully will give somebody hope or give somebody a tool or we'll plan, least plant a seed. In somebody's mind, who's still struggling out there. Thank you so goddamn much for listening. If you've made it this far, I'd be shocked to be honest with you because I don't know. I don't know how this thing is going to pan out. This is my first time ever talking to a microphone, but, thank you for coming by. If you liked what you heard. Keep coming through. If, you know, somebody who's suffering, maybe this will help them. There's a fucking way out. This is M from thoughts of an addict. Thanks for stopping by.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-5:Royalty free. Low-fi chill, beat. Play me off.