In this episode, I talk about the idea of a Higher Power.
Spoiler: No, this does not involve anything spooky or religious.
In this episode, I talk about the idea of a Higher Power.
Spoiler: No, this does not involve anything spooky or religious.
Hello? Hello. My listeners or listener as the case has been on my last few episodes. Whoever you are. I appreciate you. Anyways, welcome back to thoughts of an addict. My name is em. I hope that you were having just an absolutely lovely day. Hopefully it's filled with some semblance of peace and gratitude. Jesus Christ. Does life move fast? But anyways, today I wanted to discuss a topic that I have long been avoiding since I started this thing.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-3:And it is about a conception of. A higher power. Ooh, spooky. I know. Well, we're going to dive deeper into that, but first, just recapping a little bit about what we have been talking about. Straight a little bit talked about fun, talked about a few other things on the most recent podcasts. But before that, Oh, it's talking about how you needed to ask for help. You needed to get the fuck out of your mind and go look out there somewhere else in the universe, in the infinite universe and find something else because clearly. Whatever you are doing right now as an addict. If you are an active addiction, clearly that you doing it on your own. By your own accord. It's just not working for you right now. And. We got to go look somewhere else. So where, where, where are we going to look?
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-4:And according to the 12 steps and to. Many other ideologies. This is where we invoke the mysterious. Higher power. Now I know. The knee-jerk reaction from so many of you, hell, you've probably already closed the podcast by now. If just the idea of higher power makes you sick. You might be running for the fucking Hills right now thinking, oh God, I liked this guy up until now, but now he's going to start shoving this Jesus crap down my throat.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-5:But if you've made it this far and you haven't closed down the podcast completely. I am here to tell you that. This is not a religious podcast. This is not a religious program. There is nothing. About getting clean. That involves religion. You don't need some kind of grand conception. Of God that's out there in the. In the mystical universe that transcends space and time. No. I remember when I first got into the rooms and ice first started getting cleaned. I remember reading that second step and I was like, ah, fuck. Those 12 years that I spent in Catholic school. Well, here we go again, baby.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-6:Yeah. I just, giving you a second of background about me, I was. Raised incredibly Catholic went to Catholic school for. All of the formative years of my life until I got into college. And that experience. Made me start resenting religion as a whole. And. I'll put the stipulation out there now. I don't resent religion today. I think religion has a lot of really, really good utility for people. I think it brings a lot of people, a sense of community and peace in their lives. And I'll admit I am religious in some ways. I guess it depends on the season and how much I need religion at that specific time. But to call myself a devout, anything. Would be a huge stretch of the imagination. But yeah, all of that to say that when I saw this idea of a higher power, I was like, okay. This shit is not going to fucking work for me. This. Getting clean thing. It's got to involve going to church and closing my eyes. And throwing my hands to the sky to God, or the great Juju in the sky or to the Buddha or any religious figure that you can think of. And they're just going to magically come in and wash away my sins. That's what I was afraid of. And that's what turned me off to this idea of a higher power for so long, which is why I think it's pretty goddamn important for me to talk about it.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-7:Anyways. I've talked a lot about what a higher power is not. And you're probably champing at the bit wondering, all right. Um, so what the hell is this higher power? And I'm going to preface this with. I am not. An N a spokesperson. I am not. A pastor. Not a doctor, et cetera, et cetera. And this is my interpretation of what a higher power is and how it's worked for me. So all a higher power is. Is something outside of yourself. That's going to help you stay clean. Now. That doesn't have to be. By that definition that doesn't have to be anything that transcends reality that exists outside of space and time. And indeed. More practical things are going to be useful here as your higher power.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-8:So now you think about it. And your higher power can be. Literally anything. That works for you. Your higher power could be a person. Somebody in your life that you know is going to help you. Stay clean. Your higher power could be somebody you don't even know. For example, maybe your higher powers, Tom Brady. Maybe Tom Brady inspires you. To be the best version of yourself. So Tom Brady is your higher power.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-9:Your higher power could be gratitude. Because you believe that gratitude is what is going to help guide you in your recovery on this path to breaking free from your addiction. Your higher power could be the power of love. Your higher power could be a book that you find super compelling that you know, that you can turn to. When you feel the urge to use. Your higher power can be any kind of hobby. It could be basketball or. Crochet or. I don't know. Although, I don't know what people do anymore. Whatever helps you stay. Clean. At your higher power. It's not something that exists. Out there in the mysterious ether of the universe. That's so divorced from reality that it's totally inaccessible. No. It's something that's incredibly accessible to you.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-10:And I need to make a note here. That I'm not poo-pooing religious people at all. It's totally acceptable. For your higher power to be Jesus Christ. To be the Buddha. To be anything that you want it to be so long. As it helps you stay clean.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-11:And I feel that this message. Really really needs to be said because. So many people see any 12 step program, AA, whatever it is. And right there, right in that second step. They read the first one or they're like powerlessness. Okay. Yeah. I guess I can get behind that. I'm pretty fucked up. They get to that second one. They see higher power. They run for the fucking Hills and to be honest, I get it. Okay. I get it. And there's a fundal fundamental issue here. In that. Higher power. Isn't explicated just from reading that second step. Because we, as a society have been conditioned to believe. That a higher power is something spooky. The old man in the sky that lives outside of ourselves. But my message here today. The anybody here who is curious about recovery or addiction. And they run into this idea of higher power. And they're like, ah, fuck. I want you to know that it's not what your knee jerk reaction tells you. It is. Okay. It's just something that helps you stay clean.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-12:I'll tell you a little bit about my higher power. And the way that I found it. When I first got to. The rooms of N a. I did have that knee-jerk reaction to higher power. Like, well, fuck. I guess I'll be religious again. At least I've read half the Bible from Catholic school. So I got that. So I guess I'll turn toward Jesus again. And as I spent more time in the program, That's what I learned, what a higher power really was. And you know, much love to Jesus. But Jesus is not what I would turn to. To help me stay clean. What was helping me stay clean. We're the actual 12 steps. And when I say the actual 12 steps specifically, I mean, journaling on them. I would spend just five, 10 minutes each day. Journaling and thinking about my addiction and being honest about it and just putting it on paper. And so my higher power. What's the action of journaling.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-13:And journaling, certainly bet. The two requirements. To stay clean. Number one. Is it outside of myself? Check number two. Does it help me? Fuck. Yeah, it does. Fuck. Yeah. Journaling helped me and continues to help me stay clean. And that's all higher power is to me. And it makes sense why you would need a higher power. And I've talked about this in previous podcasts. Which is. You're fucked right now. And you're stuck in your own head. You need some thing, some buddy. Some entity, some book. Just anything. Outside of your own head. That's going to help you. And I can't tell you what that is. Your pastor. Can't tell you what that is. No one can fucking tell you what that is. It is totally up to your discretion. To decide. What your higher power is. And how. Even if it scares you. Calling it higher power. You don't even have to call it that. Oh, whatever the fuck you want. As long as the stipulation exists, that it's outside of your own mind, that it helps you. That's what you're going to need right now. And in future pods, I'll talk about. Further about how this higher power or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Is going to help you.
Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-14:Anyways. I hope. If you're an addict out there, this gave you some clarity as to what these people are talking about. When they're talking about higher power. If you're not an addict. Maybe I change your point of view about what the fuck higher power can even mean. And. If my hypothesis is correct. No one's even made it this far on the podcast. So I'm talking to myself right now. And hell even that's okay. Because sometimes I like the sound of my own voice. Anyway. Thank you so much for tuning in. And this was another episode of thoughts of an addict from your very grateful recovering addict. M. Hope you have a lovely rest of your day. Goodbye.