The 7 Phobias Hiding Behind Stuttering

Layered on top of stuttering is a complex web of fears and phobias, increasing the difficulties in speaking due to the additional stress and anxiety.

In this episode, we explore the inner world of stuttering and its underlying fears and phobias. Sparked by a listener's question, we’re unraveling phobias such as speaking on the phone, public speaking, and the fear of being overheard — all intertwined within the experience of stuttering. Personal experiences and strategies for tackling these phobias are discussed, emphasizing awareness and possible solutions. It's all about recognizing your fears and putting them behind you. Come along for an enlightening journey into the hidden fears of stuttering!

Highlights

1:00 Introducing Allyson's 'greatest fear'
3:53 Identifying the difference between fears and phobias
4:55 How do you know if you have a phobia?
6:36 Learn about the 7 different types of phobias behind stuttering
11:36 Strategies to address these phobias within the experience of stuttering
14:53 What are some key takeaways if you’re struggling with phobias?
15:37 Ask questions to get clarity on how these fears and phobias impact you

Links

What’s Your Stutter Personality? Take the quiz to find out! https://www.thehappystutterer.com/quiz/

Recovery from Stuttering Relapse: Coaching solutions with Paige
https://www.thehappystutterer.com/services/

Website: Learn more https://www.thehappystutterer.com/

Instagram: Follow here https://www.instagram.com/thehappystutterer/

Transcript

I'm so excited for this episode, as we're going to explore a deep topic into the inner experience of stuttering. I recently put out a call to my network to submit a question, something that you're struggling with, so that I could share that answer here on this podcast. Thank you for the many responses I received, including Alison, who lives in Toronto, Canada.

Here's her question:

“I think my greatest fear is speaking on the phone when I'm in front of other people, especially when I'm at my job, in my cubicle, surrounded by others.”

First, I want to start off by saying thank you, Allison, for having the courage to share this with me.

Allyson, know you're not alone in this. I too have felt this greatest fear, and I'm sure my listeners know what it's like to struggle with this exact fear of speaking on the phone, especially at work.

So as I was thinking about how to answer this specific challenge, I got curious and took a deeper look to see what might be really going on here.

Being a coach, one of the things I pay attention to is the language that someone uses to describe their problem or situation. The first words that Allison uses is ‘greatest fear’. I notice there is not just one kind of fear. What I hear is many types. The fear of speaking on the phone, the fear of speaking in front of other people, the fear of being surrounded by others who can overhear her speaking.

There are many layers of fear here. Fears behind the fear. Now, I don't want to make any assumptions, but I'm guessing that there's also the fear she's not talking about. The fears that come up within social relationships in her environment at work.

The fear of judgment.

The fear of rejection.

Or even the fear of losing face, being seen as less than, capable in the eyes of others where smooth communication is generally expected. This deeper fear is judgment from others in our relationships with authority figures, colleagues, and peers.

This fear is really what's behind social anxiety and is the excessive and persistent fear of being judged and evaluated by others. This is a huge topic on its own, so it'll be a topic I'll address in future episodes. For now, we're peeling back the layers and diving into the world of fears, but more specifically, phobias and their connection to stuttering.

Okay, let's get started by identifying the different kinds of fears and phobias that may play a part in the stuttering experience. Now, I want to be clear, I'm not suggesting that all people who stutter experience these fears and phobias. But if you're like Allison, where you feel great fear in social speaking situations, keep listening.

Okay, what are phobias? A phobia A phobia is an intense and irrational fear reaction, which varies in severity from person to person. A phobia is triggered by specific objects, situations, or experiences. And a phobia arises from a traumatic event in a person's early life. Now it's important to distinguish a phobia from a fear.

Fear is a natural emotion that protects you getting away from harm when there is real danger. A phobia is an excessive fear or anxiety related to specific objects or situations that are out of proportion to the actual danger they present.

To the person looking from the outside in, phobias may look irrational, but to the person experiencing them, they are very real. How do you know you have a phobia? If you have a phobia, it's experienced as anxiety or a deep sense of dread. Or if it's more severe, it's like a feeling of panic.

Allison did not mention any physical symptoms of her fear. But if she does experience fear, these phobias generally show up physically in a variety of symptoms, which you might have experienced for yourself. such symptoms are increased heart rate, increased rate of breathing, excessive sweating, dry mouth, muscle tension, trembling, and even nausea, if the phobia is extreme.

If you suffer from a phobia, it's very common to experience anxiety from just thinking about the thing you fear. For instance, just the thought of speaking in front of a group can bring on intense anxiety. Now, just talking about this might trigger some anxious thoughts.

So, if this happens, let's just take a deep breath. And bring your attention back to the present moment.

Okay, let's keep going. Now, it's important to note that these phobias are not limited to only individuals who stutter. Quite a few of these phobias are universal, like the fear of public speaking or fear rejection.

I like calling things out for what they are to remove the mystery of what is really going on in your mind and body. So let's start off by identifying some of the most common phobias that have a tendency to show up for a person who stutters. 

Telephobia is the fear of talking on the phone, especially when you're in front of others.

Because talking on the phone feels like public speaking, phone calls can magnify your anxiety. Making it even more challenging to manage your speech fluency. So if you've ever felt anxiety when your phone rings, you're not alone.

Glossophobia is the fear of public speaking, and it's believed to affect up to 75 percent of the population, so it's not unique to those who stutter.

Glossophobia is rooted in the fear of being evaluated during a public speaking performance, as you may experience as a person who starts every moment of every day feels like a public speaking moment.

Some of these phobia names are really strange, so here's the next one.

It is selismophobia. And this is the fear of stuttering itself. You may know this phobia well. It's experienced as heightened anxiety and avoidance behaviors because you fear stuttering in front of others. And when you fear stuttering, it only increases your speech difficulties.

Scopophobia is the fear of being stared at or the fear of being observed. Having this phobia, you may feel self conscious about your speech. You might also fear being observed or stared at when you stutter. This fear of social scrutiny can contribute to anxiety in social situations.

Okay, there's a few more.

Phonophobia. Phonophobia is the phobia of being overheard. If you have this phobia, it's where you worry that others might overhear you speak, especially if you stutter. This phobia can lead to social isolation and a heightened performance anxiety, where you struggle to express yourself due to the fear of others hearing you stutter, you might perceive yourself as flawed or inferior due to it greatly impacting your self-confidence.

A telephobia is an extreme fear of imperfection. imperfection may cause worry that your speech difficulties make you appear imperfect or flawed in the eyes of others. This fear of not meeting society's standards of fluency can contribute to anxiety and self-esteem issues, affecting your social interactions and overall quality of life.

And one more, Anthropophobia is the fear of rejection. It's the phobia of not being accepted by the people around you. This is a very universal fear, even those who do not stutter. It's the fear of people not accepting your appearance, behaviors, the way you speak, or even your presence.

Now that we've identified and described each of these phobias in a bit more detail, I can tell you that I've struggled with every single one of these phobias. Fear of talking on the phone, public speaking, fear of stuttering, fear of being stared at, observed, being overheard, fear of imperfection and rejection.

To be honest, I can still experience these phobias to some degree. Like if I'm being observed. or overheard on the phone sometimes. But what's different is it is much less now than when I was younger. Now it's more like being moderately uncomfortable than full blown anxiety.

So let's go back to Alison's story and see how all of these phobias are working together.

There is the fear of talking on the phone, at her job, in her cubicle, fear of public speaking, and the fear of being stared at and observed as she is in front of other people, and the fear of being overheard as she's surrounded by others.

She does not mention the fear of stuttering. But this might be a factor. Since stuttering is all about making speaking mistakes, she might have a fear of imperfection. And there is the unspoken fear of rejection, the possibility of being rejected by the people around her.

So what's really going on here? Is it just about stuttering and the challenge of physically creating speech, or is it about a complex web of fears and multiple phobias layered on top of stuttering? Only increasing the difficulties in speaking due to the additional stress and anxiety.

So what can be done? Let's start with some strategies for addressing these phobias as they intertwine with the experience of stuttering.

To make change in anything, awareness is always the first step. There is more to this process, but for the time we have today, here are some ways to start approaching this.

Acknowledge all of the specific phobias at play. Your fears and phobias are most likely tied to past experiences, often rooted in childhood.

If you started stuttering when you were young and experienced shame and public humiliation, this can leave a deep emotional wound in adulthood. It's known that telephobia can be linked to past traumas or negative experiences related to phone calls. And glossophobia is most likely rooted in a negative memory during public speaking.

And now, you may fear a repeat of that prior experience. Before you can change anything, you need to identify each of the fears and phobias that affect you. You can notice your tendency to be cautious and hyper vigilant. You might feel like you're under constant scrutiny when speaking in front of other people.

So when you're caught in the web of fears and phobias, you might find yourself hyper alert and super vigilant, always looking for the next dangerous speaking situation. Because you've carried this from childhood, over time, this hyper vigilance is exhausting on all levels. Again, notice your tendency to be cautious and hyper alert in speaking situations.

You can also observe moments of avoidance behavior. Of course, you're only human if you go to great lengths to prevent the things that you fear, whether it's speaking on the phone or in front of other people. But for all fears and phobias, it's the act of avoidance that increases the level of anxiety over time.

It's no surprise then that these phobias can significantly impact your mental health and well being. just noticing if you're in the act of avoidance, is a good solid first step. You can also know that all fears and phobias are treatable.

Some known treatment options and strategies for overcoming phobias are exposure therapy. Where an individual is taught coping skills and over time learns to handle the situation that is causing the fear.

In tandem with this is CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. And this is a big part of the coaching I do in working with clients.

CBT is useful because it explores the thoughts and feelings that are driving the fears and phobias behind your behaviours. Other modalities of treatment may include mindfulness techniques, anxiety management, and relaxation techniques, and even additional speech therapy if needed.

My role is not to give a diagnosis, but to help shed light on the many layers and fears and phobias that might be at play beneath your stutter.

So what are some key takeaways for Allison and yourself if you're struggling with something similar? Know you're not alone. These phobias are fears that many individuals face, and recognizing this fact can alleviate some of the shame you might carry. Knowledge is your ally, knowing that phobias might be at play beneath your stutter can give you clarity to start working with knowing your fear rather than running away from it.

And finally, awareness is your gateway to change. Taking steps towards noticing and acknowledging your behaviors when you experience fear and phobias goes a long way in starting the process of changing them. As we wrap up, I want you to remember. You have the ability to overcome your fears and phobias.

You do not have to spend a lifetime being controlled by them. In order to do that, you need to get clarity on how these fears and phobias are impacting you beneath your stutter. Let me leave you with a few questions.

Number one. What specific fears or phobias are showing up in your life?

And how are these fears and phobias influencing your behaviors like hypervigilance and avoidance?

Allison, I hope this has been insightful for you. Know that with the right knowledge, perseverance, and support, you can reduce your fears and phobias so they no longer paralyze and have control over you.

You can begin the process of putting your fears and phobias behind you so that when you do find yourself at work, speaking on the phone, or in front of others, you can feel at ease with confidence.