Why Keeping Your Word is More Important Than How You Say It

Keeping your word matters a lot — even more important than how you say it. Following through on your promises plays an important role in confidence.

Discover the secret to building your inner confidence through the underestimated power of keeping promises to yourself.

It's not just about the words we say to others, but the words and commitments we make to ourselves. Going back on your word, making excuses and rationalizations seem harmless in the moment, but tend to leave a negative impact over the long run.

Discover the essence of keeping promises — how it builds self-confidence, discipline, emotional resilience, and self-trust. Tune in now!

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Transcript

Thanks for being here today. We're delving into a topic that's not just about the words we say to others, but about the words we say to ourselves. Believe it or not, this can be even more important than how you say something, but it's not just about any kind of words. It's about keeping the promises we say to ourselves.

When I start working with a client, make a Promise is one of the first exercises we go through in the Find Your Flow to Fluency Coaching program. It is an important exercise to begin with as it sets the intention for growth and progress along the journey. Paving the path to building inner confidence, so find a comfy spot. As we begin to explore the following, you'll learn the benefits of keeping your word and the barriers that get in the way. The five strategies you can use to help you keep your word in achieving your goals.

And then we're gonna finish it off with more tips to make it even easier to keep the promises you make to yourself. there was a time in my life well. My much younger self, when I thought that all I needed to feel confident was fluency, I thought that fluency was the thing that was going to give me confidence.

I thought I didn't have confidence because I stuttered because I wasn't fluent. Now that I have much more fluency than ever before, and as great as fluency can be, you need to know that it can only go so far. There is so much more needed than just fluency to gain true inner confidence. The words you say to yourself matter a lot, even more than you may even realize as they can either decrease or increase your confidence.

Keeping your word and following through on your promises plays a big role in building your confidence. Believe me, I've not been the poster child for keeping my promises and following through on my word. Looking back, I remember saying to myself a lot that I was gonna go do something, but they're not really doing it.

I would say things like, I'll try, but my efforts were haphazard and most of the time things just fizzled out. It's no wonder I didn't have any confidence in myself. My sense of self and self-esteem was on shaky ground because my word to myself was, well, let's just say flaky.

I do like a Good Star Wars movie and there is a scene I love in the Empire Strikes Back. it's when the young Luke's Skywalker says he's trying to use the force to get his ex wing Out of a swamp and fails. Do you remember what Jedi Master Yoda says to Luke? Do or do not?

There is no try, man. I love this. It's brilliant. for a long time, I didn't realize that for a lot of things. I was only trying. Not really doing. Yes, I was trying to be as fluent as possible. Yes, I was trying to do a lot of things in my life, but I was not really doing the things that would support and help me achieve the vision I had for myself.

It's important to understand there's a difference between trying and doing. Here's how trying implies that we put in effort only so far into achieving a specific goal. It's not that I didn't want to achieve my goal, but when it reached a certain point, when things got difficult, it was easy to give up.

On the other hand. Doing implies that we not only put in the effort, but we also follow through to the end no matter what in achieving that goal. I hope this distinction makes sense. Sticking with the Star Wars theme, let's talk a bit about the dark side. What do you think are some of the barriers that get in the way of you keeping your word or promises?

Maybe you've experienced some of these barriers yourself.

Like procrastination and external distractions often derail our best intentions to keep our word negative self-talk. The internal dialogue we have within ourselves can deflate our confidence, discouraging our best efforts.

This also includes betraying yourself through excuses and rationalizations in the moment. They may seem logical, but they don't help in the long run. And sometimes the reason we don't keep promises to ourselves is that we have a fear of failure. It's only natural to have this kind of fear, But the key is not letting it get in the way. There's a quote I'd like to share with you by Debbie Ford. She's the author of the book called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. She says, when we constantly lie to ourselves, it's difficult for us to believe in ourselves. This is why it's so important to follow through on your promises.

Because it builds belief that you can trust yourself, which creates a solid foundation to work from. Okay, so what does it mean to keep a promise to yourself? Well, another word for promise is intention, which is a commitment to a purpose or goal. Our intentions act as a guiding principle on how we want to experience life, and there are several benefits.

One, keeping your word builds and boosts self-confidence. when you're impeccable with the words you speak, when you mean what you say, and you do what you say you're going to do. This builds inner confidence. It also increases self integrity, which is integral to self-confidence. Creating a sense of trust in yourself is the foundation of self-confidence.

Number two, keeping your word cultivates. Discipline, making and keeping promises instills discipline, which is important in following through. Cultivating discipline is simply a decision that you make that is enforced over and over again With discipline, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Benefit number three in keeping your word is about increasing emotional resilience. We all know that things in life Can be unpredictable with self-trust. It equips you with emotional resilience to navigate those challenges. This kind of confidence is knowing you are determined to keep showing up for yourself, even with setbacks and challenges along the way.

And finally, keeping your word, build self-Trust. Honor yourself by taking the responsibility to keep your word without self-trust. It's difficult to build inner conviction and inner confidence. Going back on your word arose Self-trust. When you consistently follow through on your word, you are telling yourself.

I trust myself, I can rely on me. It's a critical skill to build self-discipline and confidence within yourself to follow through on what's important to you. It's also important to ensure you are aligning your words to your actions. So you might be asking, how do you do that? Here are five ways that will help you keep your word and achieve your goals.

First say your promise out loud. Now, I understand that this may be a difficult thing to do if you find yourself stuttering on the words you want to say. In that case, there are other things you can do. You can whisper your promise or intention to yourself, or even mouth the words silently. Either way, you are verbally setting your intention.

Two, write your promise down. There is great power in writing things down. Research suggests that writing things down on a piece of paper is the most effective way rather than typing it out. I find that writing things down helps me organize my thoughts much better than if they're just floating around in my head.

When you write your intention down, Be specific and sincere about what you're intending to feel like and act on. The third strategy is to make your promise visible. another way to stay on track is by making your intentions visible. As a saying goes outta sight, outta mind.

Keep your promises where you can see them. Like on a post-it. Note this way, you can stick it on your bathroom mirror as a reminder so you can see it each morning and night. Strategy number four, speak your promise from the heart.

Your words have power and affirms your commitment to the process. Setting intentions is similar to practicing new self-talk. The words need to be accompanied with authentic emotion to effectively engage your neural pathways. So be mindful. Don't just go through the motions of saying the words. Your words need to be expressed with emotion as your emotions are the energy and fuel behind your words to achieve what you desire.

And finally, strategy number five, your promise needs consistency. Consistency is the key to having and achieving what you want in life. Think about consistency as a daily investment in yourself. The cumulative effect of these small commitments builds a foundation for lasting change. Even just 10 minutes a day can have a big impact. So now that you know some strategies on keeping your word in the form of promises and intentions, what are some examples of a great promise? Here are some examples that help me along the way on my journey. You can try them out for yourself, and if you do, I hope you find them helpful.

I promise myself to put in my best effort no matter what. I promise myself to keep going, even when things feel challenging. I promise to give myself compassion, especially when I'm being hard on myself Making and keeping promises doesn't require grand gestures. So to make this even easier, here are some more tips.

In fact, it's better to start small. It's often more effective to start with small, manageable commitments. When you start small, you can ensure progress, fostering a sense of accomplishment. This success then becomes a catalyst for taking on more challenges, creating a positive cycle of growth.

Another tip is celebrating success along the way. Sometimes we downplay our achievements, but celebrating even the smallest victories, the smallest steps taken is crucial. I have to admit, this is something that I'm still working on to remember to celebrate my small wins as I go. Tip number three is to forgive yourself, your only human.

As I said, life is unpredictable, and despite our best efforts, we may not always meet our promises. Setbacks are a natural part of any journey, and in such moments practicing self forgiveness is key. If you fall short of an intention, extend some love and understanding to yourself, the most loving thing you can say to yourself?

Is this, I'm doing the best I can. Forgiving yourself stops negative self-talk from derailing your efforts And the final tip is practice, practice, practice. Believe me, it's easy to slip back into old behaviors. I mean, they're not bad or wrong, they're just familiar.

It's more about allowing yourself to recommit to yourself over and over again. I do know it gets easier as it will become second nature to keep your word no matter what, because you know that you matter. Let's take a moment to reflect on what you've learned so far. How would making promises and keeping your word impact your life?

To what degree do you believe you follow through on keeping your promises to yourself? I challenge you to identify one promise or intention you've been postponing and commit to it fully this week as a certified professional coach. If this is an area you're looking for support in, I'm here to help you achieve your goals.

As we're getting to the end here, remember you are worth keeping promises to yourself. Plain and simple. Believe you are worth keeping promises to yourself because you are. If you stumble or fall short of a promise, give yourself the understanding and care you deserve. You can always pick up and start again, and that is true.

Self-forgiveness. So don't forget to write down those promises. Stick them on your mirror, and keep building those blocks of self-trust to inner confidence. Thank you for listening to the end. If you have any thoughts about this episode, I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at paige@thehappystutterer.com.