Escape the Trap of Self-Editing and Self-Censorship in Covert Stuttering

Safety behaviors provide temporary relief in immediate speaking moments, but over time they subconsciously hinder your natural flow of speech.

If you've ever tried to conceal your stutter, you're not alone.

This episode unravels the coping mechanisms behind safety behaviors in stuttering — driven by the fear of judgment, past traumas, and societal misconceptions.

Self-editing behaviors such as scanning-ahead and substituting words become deeply ingrained, paradoxically reinforcing the fear they aim to alleviate.

Self-censorship, rooted in past experiences where it felt unsafe to stutter, leads to a trade-off: short-term relief at the expense of true self-expression.

With patience and commitment, small steps can break the cycle to an unedited version of authentic expression!

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Transcript

Do you find yourself going to great lengths to conceal or prevent stuttering from happening? If so, I am positive you're going to find this episode insightful. Today we're shedding light on a common but invisible aspect of the internal experience of stuttering. These behaviors are self-editing and self-censorship. So what are these behaviors? Self-editing And self-censorship are used as coping tools where a person uses them to hide or tries to stop stuttering.

if you identify with these behaviors, then you might be what's considered a covert stutterer. Now, there's no shame in this and know that you're definitely not alone. I definitely recognize my past self As a covert stutterer, self-editing and self-censoring become deeply conditioned and ingrained habits.

And as for this reason, they may become unconscious as you don't even realize you're doing them. I know that was the case for me. These behaviors happened so fast, it took quite some time before I was even consciously aware of them. they had just become so highly automatic and part of what I did.

So what's driving these behaviors? Simple answer. You're looking for a sense of safety, and these behaviors can give a false sense of it as it's a protection in immediate speaking moment. Because these behaviors provide a temporary relief, they become a driving force in your life.

The purpose behind these safety behaviors is to hide or stop your stutter. They help you pretend for as long as possible that you are a fluent speaker, or at least you're trying to be a fluent speaker. You use them because your golden rule is to not stutter at all costs. I remember how agonizing this used to be, constantly pretending and hiding, living in the fear of stuttering. But even though I tried so hard, it was just impossible to not stutter. I mean, trying so hard not to do something actually has the opposite effect.

The mental stress of putting up my guard only created physical tension, Impeding the natural flow of my speech. If you can relate, here are three reasons why we're doing all the things to not stutter. First, it's the fear of negative judgment. This fear of negative judgment is a real and significant driver to being covert about stuttering.

If you've experienced ridicule or exclusion, real or imagined, It makes sense that this would create a deep seated fear that others will view you in a negative way.

Fears of being perceived as less capable also drives these behaviors and the fear of judgment. Also, heightens self C and self-monitoring when speaking. it's understandable then that the desire to conform and avoid negative reactions becomes a very powerful motivator for self-editing and self-censorship.

Reason number two, Past traumatic experiences. If you're living in fear of negative judgment. It's most likely because you've experienced speaking situations that left a traumatic imprint on you. Teasing, bullying or rejection can create lasting emotional scars no matter how long ago.

It's understandable that this trauma creates a pervasive and chronic sense of self-doubt and anxiety driving you to self-edit, and self-censor as protective measures. It's only natural then for you to want to avoid situations that could rekindle the emotional pain associated with stuttering when speaking.

And finally, reason number three, social stigma and misconceptions. Societal stigma and misconceptions. Amplify the challenges for those who stutter. It's unfortunate that the stereotypes and limited awareness of stuttering fosters such misunderstanding. No stuttering is not due to nervousness or lack of intelligence, although nervousness does make it worse.

It's because of trying to overcome these social stigmas and misconceptions that we turn ourselves into pretzels, self-editing and self-censoring. Just to conform to the so-called social norms. okay, let's dive deeper into self editing. So what is self-editing exactly. To illustrate this concept, picture, the process of making a movie scenes are shot first, and then the intricate process of editing refines the footage into the final version we see in the movies or on tv.

It's clear that the act of creation comes first. Then the editing part is second. In real life, it's impossible to shoot the scenes and edit the footage at exactly the same time. But this is exactly what a person who is covert about their stutter is trying to do.

They're self-consciously creating an editing speech at the same time. Now there is a dangerous side to self-editing. As I mentioned earlier, if you are afraid of stuttering, self-Editing It's a safety behavior you use to keep from stuttering. Now, there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel safe, but the truth is, by engaging in these behaviors to hide evidence of your stutter, You're actually reinforcing your fear of stuttering even more, and unfortunately, this becomes a vicious cycle. It's hard to break free because self-editing rewards you with relief in the moment. you might even be proud of it, like a superpower, but this kind of behavior eventually undermines and impedes long-term improvements in speech fluency.

So what are some behaviors of self editing? Well, it involves a few tactics such as scanning ahead and substituting words. I've now come to realize that I started to do these behaviors at a really young age without even knowing what I was doing. The most interesting thing about these behaviors is that they just naturally happened.

Like it's not like there was someone telling me to do this or that. There was a book from the library. Being human, it's natural to find ways to cope, manage, and adapt to your environment. It's really amazing that people who stutter, who live all over the world develop the same or very similar covert stuttering behaviors.

Just understand that it's your body's way of protecting you. There's no shame in doing these safety behaviors as they're serving a purpose to protect and keep you safe from any emotional harm that might be in your social environment. So let's learn more about scanning ahead.

Scanning ahead is often without conscious awareness. A subconscious attempt to navigate around perceived dangerous sounds and words. The behavior of scanning can also look like keeping a hypervigilant lookout for potential stressful speaking situation. In the blink of an eye, the behavior of scanning ahead can all happen in seconds, even without you being aware of it.

As we're substituting words, this is about switching out sounds and words that you think you cannot say. By engaging in the safety behavior, you're giving your subconscious mind the exact order of what you can't say, and which your body will comply with. Switching sounds and words on the fly to avoid anticipated difficulties informs the subconscious mind of what to be fearful of, so by drawing attention and focus to those fearful words or sounds, this further solidifies avoidance patterns.

Another significant aspect of the covert stuttering experience is self-censorship. So what is this exactly? Self-censorship involves being overly cautious about what and how to communicate all in an effort to void negative attention. This tendency to self-censor also stems from past experiences where revealing a stutter was deemed unsafe.

So now you're overly cautious about what and how you say something to avoid negative attention. self-censorship is about holding back. It's saying nothing at all. Even when you want to, you just won't allow yourself to say anything because you're afraid to stutter. Your logic is, is that if you don't speak, then you won't stutter.

Earlier, we touched a bit on the reward of these behaviors. So what is the cost of self-editing and self-censorship? Well, while these behaviors can be effective in the short term, they prove to be detrimental in the long run to your overall expression of speech. There's also a lack of true self-expression.

Either you're not saying what you really want to say or you don't say anything at all. You may not be assertive and stand up for yourself. Instead, you self-censor to avoid conflict, such as an argument to keep the peace. And finally, the mental and emotional energy it takes to monitor your words and how you're gonna say them is physically exhausting.

So what are some strategies in breaking the cycle of self-editing and self-censorship? Here are five ways to start. Number one, awareness. If you're consciously aware that you self-edit and self-censor, take comfort in knowing that what was learned can be unlearned and replaced with new behavior.

In my experience, recovering from stuttering is more about a process of removing unhelpful behaviors that have hindered the flow and production of natural speech. Number two, attention. Once you have awareness, change the focus of your attention. Stop entertaining and giving these behaviors attention. I understand it's easier said than done, but the more you do them, the stronger they are and the stronger they get.

but by not consciously engaging, you're taking away their power. So how do you do this? Take small steps. These behaviors have been reinforced over and over again, most likely for years, if not a lifetime. So for this reason, they can't be tackled all at once. But by focusing on one's specific behavior at a time.

It took repetition to get you to where you are now, and it's gonna take repetition to get you where you want to be. Strategy number four, stop pre-planning behind self-editing and self-censorship is pre-planning. It's critical to not overthink and overplan what you're going to say too far in advance.

Say what you want to say in the exact moment you wanna say it. It's important to not think about it. It's the overthinking and the anticipation that trips you up. Give yourself permission to say what comes to your mind. It's that split second of overthinking that comes between you and fluent speech.

Strategy Number five, give yourself patience. As we've learned, these safety behaviors were once helpful, but now they become obstacles to smooth speech. Give yourself patience as unlearning these habits involves practice and a commitment to daily progress. To gain awareness around the self-editing and self-censoring behaviors you might be engaging in, you can ask yourself the following questions for self-discovery and reflection.

Do you notice yourself switching out words in a split second if you just know they will trip you up? To what degree do you recognize your willingness to self-censor what you say and do in front of other people? And what impact do you believe these safety behaviors have on the fluency of your speech and self-expression?

As we're now at the end, I want to remind you that it's through your lived experiences from childhood up to now that you've learned to self-edit and self-censor, you learn to find safety and protect yourself, which if you think about it, is actually a very loving thing that your mind and body has done for you.

Now I understand it may not be easy as it will take practice to unravel these ingrained behaviors to self-edit and self-censor. But know that with each small step, you'll get closer to creating a new version of unedited speech and self-expression. Thank you for listening to the end. If you have any thoughts about this episode, I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at paige@thehappystutterer.com.