QUICK TIPS: The Importance of Humility for Conflict Resolution

In this episode of Peacebuilding with Dr. Pollack, we explore one of the most overlooked yet essential qualities in conflict resolution—humility. Far from being a sign of weakness, humility is a strategic skill that opens the door to trust, collaboration, and lasting solutions. Dr. Pollack breaks down how humility depends on two key sub-traits—confidence and curiosity—and why both are necessary to make it an active, powerful force in peacebuilding.

Through hypothetical workplace examples, you’ll learn how humility can transform tense conversations into opportunities for understanding. Plus, Dr. Pollack shares four actionable tools you can use immediately to approach conflict with a balanced mindset.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why humility is a strength, not a weakness, in peacebuilding
  
  
• How confidence prevents humility from turning into self-doubt
  
  
• How curiosity transforms conflict into discovery
  
  
• Ways to build trust even in high-tension situations
  
  
• Four practical tools for applying humility in the workplace

Key Tools from the Episode:

1. The Humility Pause – Before responding, ask, “What might I not be seeing here?”
   
   
2. The Confidence-Check Statement – “Here’s what I know, and here’s what I’m still trying to understand.”
   
   
3. The Curiosity Ladder – Ask deeper questions to uncover needs and solutions.
   
   
4. The Trust-Building Acknowledgment – “I hear you. I can see how that would be frustrating. Let’s figure this out together.”

Listen Now to discover how to combine humility, confidence, and curiosity for better conflict resolution, stronger relationships, and a more collaborative workplace.

Connect with Me

🌐 Website: PollackPeacebuilding.com

🌐 Dr. Pollack’s Courses: peacefulleadersacademy.com/courses/
📧 Email: support@pollackpeacebuilding.com
📱 LinkedIn: Jeremy Pollack es

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#humility #stayhumble #confidence #Peacebuilding #Leadership #ConflictResolution #curiosity #Psychology

Host: Dr. Jeremy Pollack from Pollack Peacebuilding Systems

More from Dr. Pollack:

• Peaceful Leaders Academy
• Conflict Resolution Playbook: Practical Communication Skills for Preventing, Managing, and Resolving Conflict
• FREE e-book: The Ultimate 12-Step Guide to Coworker Mediation: Free Ebook - Pollack Peacebuilding Systems

Connect with Dr. Pollack on social media: Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | LinkedIn

Transcript

0:00

welcome to Peace Building with Dr. Pollock. This is a quick Tips episode where I explore the strategies, psychology and interpersonal tools that help you build better relationships at work and beyond. I'm Dr. Jeremy Pollock. I'm a social organizational psychologist with a specialty in peace and conflict psychology. I'm also the CEO of Pollock, peace Building Systems, workplace Conflict Management, consulting and training firm. Today we're talking about one of the most underestimated yet powerful traits in conflict resolution and peace building humility and why humility requires both confidence and curiosity to be effective. When we think about resolving conflict or building peace, humility isn't always the first quality that comes to mind. We might think of communication skills or negotiation tactics. Or emotional regulation, but humility is actually a foundational trait that makes all of those tools work much more effectively. Without humility, our ego takes the lead, and ego is a terrible negotiator. So today we're going to explore what humility really means in peace building, why it's not weakness, and how two SubT traits, confidence and curiosity, make it an active, powerful force for resolving tensions. I will share some workplace examples along the way, plus actionable tools that you can start using immediately. Humility in peace building is not about thinking less of yourself. It's about thinking beyond yourself. It's the ability to acknowledge that your perspective is limited and that you can learn from others even when you disagree. I remember working with a couple of department heads at a manufacturing company, let's call them Alex and Priya, and they were locked in this sort of dispute over budget allocations. Alex believed his team needed the funds for a new software system, and Priya insisted her department staffing shortage was the higher priority and. Now if Alex lacked humility, he would dig in. He would insist he's right. Probably frame that whole issue as sort of a win-lose battle. But I remember Alex being quite humble and saying something to the effect of, you know, he believes this software is critical, but he also knows that he doesn't see the bigger picture, and he wanted Priya to walk him through the staffing challenges. So he was very open-minded about him not necessarily being right or having the priority he was open to other perspectives. And this openness shifts the conversation from positional defense to more mutual understanding. Being open really requires humility. So I'm gonna give you an actionable tool, and I'll call this the humility Pause. Before responding in a heated moment, ask yourself this question, what might I not be seeing here? Even just three seconds of an intentional humility, pause can open the door to more collaborative. Now, here's the counterintuitive part. Humility isn't meekness. It actually requires confidence. Confident in your worth, in your skills, in your ability to contribute without needing to win every interaction. Without confidence, humility can slide into self-doubt or passivity. A confident peace builder can admit mistakes, can listen without defensiveness, and still maintain their sense of worth. I was recently working with, a woman named Morgan. She was a team lead, and she noticed that she misunderstood a client request, and this misunderstanding caused her team a bunch of extra work. If she didn't have confidence, she might try to hide the error or deflect blame, fearing it. Might damage her reputation as a leader. But she practiced confidence and I remember her saying something like, you know, that one's on me. I misunderstood the request. Let's find the most efficient way to get this back on track. She was willing to admit her mistakes and doing this takes confidence, and it ended up modeling accountability and it strengthened trust with her team, and it actually deescalated the conflict. So I wanna give you another actionable tool here called the confidence check statement. In a conflict, I want you to practice stating, here's what I know and here's what I'm still trying to understand. So in other words, you state what you know, or you state what you believe, and then you also state what you still don't know. You're still open to learning more about this signals that you're secure enough in what you bring to the table, but also secure enough to show openness and vulnerability to other perspectives. Now if confidence is the foundation of humility, I would say curiosity is the engine. Curiosity drives you to ask questions. It drives you to seek context. Um, understand the why behind someone's position. It transforms conflict from a battle of wills into an opportunity for discovery. I am gonna give you a hypothetical here. Imagine an HR manager. Let's call her Jordan, and she's mediating between these two employees, Sam and Taylor. Sam feels Taylor is constantly undermining him and Taylor insists Sam's micromanaging everything instead of jumping straight to solutions and trying to just get the conflict solved as quickly as possible. Jordan gets curious. She says, can you each share a recent example, what you felt during that situation? Tell me more about your perspective. And as they talk, Jordan starts to uncover that the micromanaging. Was actually Sam's attempt to prevent errors after a recent client complaint, something that Taylor wasn't even aware of. So this spirit of curiosity of asking questions of not already kind of knowing, uh, what to do to solve the problem, but just listening and hearing more about the problem, it revealed these underlying needs and helped clarify what was really going on instead of just. Letting these folks fling accusations back and forth at each other. If someone is humble, it's not only that they're confident enough to be humble, but also it leads to curiosity. A humble person, is typically more open and nonjudgmental. And willing to hear or listen or understand others' perspectives more than someone who is more in their ego. So actionable tool number three. I'm gonna call this the curiosity ladder. I want you to ask progressively deeper questions as you start to understand a conflict. What happened? How did you interpret that? What was most important to you in that situation? What would help address that concern moving forward? If it doesn't get fixed, what might happen? Then just asking questions to dig deeper and really understand all the nuances of the actual conflict. So humility, balanced with confidence and curiosity. It really creates a sense of psychological safety. When people see that you're not trying to dominate the conversation, they can feel more respected and heard, and that lowers defenses and it makes constructive dialogue much more possible. Okay. One more actionable tool for you. The trust building acknowledgement. Whenever someone expresses a concern, start your reply with, I hear you. I can see how that would be frustrating. Let's figure this out together. So this is a simple structure. It communicates respect, ownership, partnership. It lets the person know that you are hearing them, you understand they're having an emotional, uh, response to this. That they're feeling frustrated or angry, and that you're willing to collaborate on a solution with them. So here's a quick recap of the tools that we're gonna start using. First, the humility, pause, take three seconds to ask, what might I not be seeing here? Then the confidence check statement. Here's what I know and here's what I'm still trying to understand. Third, the curiosity ladder move from facts to feelings to needs, finally to solutions and forth. The trust building acknowledgement. I hear you. I can see how frustrating that is. Let's try to figure this out together. These aren't just nice phrases. They're shifts in mindset. By combining confidence and curiosity under the umbrella of humility, you'll not only deescalate conflict, but also strengthen relationships and. Create a more resilient, collaborative working relationship and workplace culture in general. Remember, if you wanna solve conflict, stay humble. That requires you being confident and also very curious. thanks for tuning into Peace Building with Dr. Pollock. If this episode helped you and think it can help others, please share it. For ongoing learning and to really master your workplace conflict resolution skills, consider joining my Peaceful Leaders Club Club members, get access to exclusive content coaching with me and my expert, conflict coaches, and my entire online course library. You can join@peacefulleadersacademy.com slash club or click on the link in the show notes and if your company needs training or conflict intervention or mediation. Visit us@pollockpeacebuilding.com to learn more about our services. Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.