Salon Success Secrets

The Real Reason You're Tired (And How To Fix It)

• Lindsay Lowe & Jen Booth

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Ever found yourself constantly pushing your team, feeling drained at the end of each day, wondering why your salon staff just won't "get with the program"? This transformative episode introduces a leadership paradigm shift that could revolutionize how you run your salon and lead your team.

We dive deep into the critical distinction between force and power in salon leadership. Force—that exhausting approach where you're constantly correcting, directing, and making things happen through pressure—delivers short-term results but creates long-term disconnection. Through vivid examples like handling dress code violations and improving rebooking rates, we demonstrate how force might get compliance but ultimately damages the culture you're working so hard to build.

Power, by contrast, is about holding a clear position and helping others rise to it. It's replacing "Go home and change" with "How does this outfit align with the brand we're building?" It's trading threats about performance for genuine curiosity about barriers to success. The most profound leadership insight we share: "The most powerful leaders don't hold it all—they hold a position and let others rise to it." This simple shift can transform not just your team's performance but how you feel about your role as a leader.

Ready to make the shift? We provide practical guidance with our "power practice" to help you identify where you're currently forcing outcomes and make one small shift toward power this week. Whether you're struggling with team compliance, feeling overwhelmed by constant corrections, or simply seeking a more sustainable approach to salon leadership, this heart-centered, strategy-driven episode delivers both inspiration and actionable steps. Share it with other salon leaders who need this message—together, we can bring beauty back to the beauty industry.

Do you have a question for Blondes in Business: Luxury Beauty Business Podcast? Send a text or leave a voicemail at 855.650.3445 or send us an email to hello@thephdprogram.com. We would love to hear from you.
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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the Salon Success Secrets Podcast. Today we're going to talk about something that could change the entire way you lead your team.

Speaker 2:

So good. We're diving deep into the difference between force and power, and I promise this isn't just a mindset thing. This is a leadership strategy that can help you finally feel less drained, less frustrated and more aligned with the business that you're building.

Speaker 1:

So let's kick it off with this. You know, force is when you use your energy to make something move or change, especially when something is pushing back or in the way. Power, on the other hand, is the ability to hold and maintain a position. It doesn't require pushing, it just is. Now think about that in your salon.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so good. You know, because it's almost like, have you ever had a team member you know that's walked in and they've been totally out of dress code before? And you know it's like almost like you feel that it's like your heart starts to rise up into your chest and it's like you want to force that correction. You know, like, go home and change. That's not how you show up here, um, you know, and technically, if you did that, I guess you'd be right. But what happens next is maybe they comply, but under the surface, what did you really create?

Speaker 2:

You know you probably created fear, embarrassment. You probably created fear, embarrassment, disconnection, and that's force. Because now let's look at that same moment from a place of power. So, instead of reacting, you pull them aside and quietly ask hey, how do you think that that outfit lines up with the brand that we're building here? And you just pause and you let them answer. You know that is power. You're still addressing the same issue, but instead of creating compliance through fear, you're just helping to create awareness. You know, you're inviting alignment. You're truly holding a position and letting them rise into it. You know, because power creates change and force creates control.

Speaker 1:

So good. And so maybe you're thinking, oh, that sounds great, jen and Lindsay, but I've got deadlines, I've got goals, I've got standards. I don't have time to coddle or babysit people and hey, we totally get it. But you got to ask yourself has forcing ever really worked long term? Have you ever forced someone to upsell retail and they did it that day, but never again. That's such you know. Really think about that. Or have you ever forced someone to take more clients and they hit their numbers but burn out and leave the salon like three months later? You know we all have a salon nurse because force is short term. Let me say that again because it's so powerful. Force is short term, it's reactive and it makes us feel like we're leading, but really we're just managing chaos with that tight grip.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that managing chaos with that tight grip, that's a reallying system, you know, and and they're like. But I've told them again and again um, you know, and said you've got to ask you're losing income, we're losing clients, you know. And so they were like, you know, finally they forced it. You know, I told her if she didn't improve her rebooking numbers by the end of the month, she would lose access to our guests, you know. And so in that moment it was like, okay, you know, they saw that slight improvement for two weeks, but then that person completely shut down. You know, they stopped showing up with energy and eventually they quit.

Speaker 2:

Because, you know it, when you really look at that situation, that's, you're not leading somebody, you're truly scaring somebody, you know. And if you had approached that situation with power instead, you know, and and sat with her and said, you know, tell me why you're not rebooking, what's really going on here, you know you might have discovered that they didn't feel confident. You know, they needed the right words to say, not warnings. You know, it's like coaching, not consequences. I think that that's a powerful example of the difference between power and force when it comes to to having that coaching conversation with rebooking.

Speaker 1:

So good. I remember that exact conversation I'm seeing. It was so powerful to hear that salon owner forcing that stylist in that position and then are doing it for a little while and then just throwing their hands up because it wasn't, it was forced upon her. And you know, as human beings, there's one thing is we don't like to be told what to do. I've learned that.

Speaker 1:

So you know, let's think about it from the standpoint of like what does power look like in a salon? You know, when we think about power, it's like setting a clear standard and standing by it even when it's uncomfortable. It's saying like you know, this is how we do things around here. You're capable of that. I'll believe in you.

Speaker 1:

You know, like Lindsay was mentioning earlier, with the dress code she gave, the example of force would be like why are you dressed like that? You've got to go home and change our stance and be like hey, tell me what's going on today. Tell me like is this, is this really going to serve you to your highest good? So it's asking questions like what would need to be true for you to feel proud of how you've handled that guest? Or like what support would help you be more consistent? Or you know, like, do you feel connected to what we're building here?

Speaker 1:

So using questions like what, or do you feel like it kind of takes them from a moment of, takes them from their like subconscious to their conscious part of their brain and helps them build a new opportunity? And so, you know, power is when someone walks into a conversation nervous and walks out inspired. You know, force tightens the leash. I feel like, think of it like walking a dog. You got that dog on a tight leash, you know. And power, but power, on the other hand, helps raise the bar.

Speaker 2:

Hmm, ah, I love that. That is so true and such a good visual. You know, because I really think you know if your leadership feels heavy, you know if you're always in meetings and you're always correcting, always fixing, you're probably leading with force. So, and it doesn't mean that you're a bad leader, but it does mean that you're exhausted and you're trying to hold it together the only way that you know how. But here's the truth. Here is the truth.

Speaker 2:

The most powerful leaders don't hold it all. They hold a position and let the others rise to it. They help them see that path, you know, understand truly why this matters and help them rise to the occasion. You know, it's like Jen mentioned with those amazing questions earlier asking them to help them see it for themselves, like cause. When we're able to help them reveal it to themselves, then you don't have to be the one forcing them to do it because, listen, they know why it's important to rebook guests. Maybe they just need a reminder. You know, ask them the questions. You know, why do we do this? What's in it for the guest, what's in it for you, you know, like the power of asking those questions to help them rise into that position. That's true power.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you know, I think of another example. We were working with Salon one time and, you know, what they didn't recognize was that force. Like, if you're giving someone feedback, forcing that person to listen to you when they're around their other teammates can be so embarrassing for them, and so coming from a place of power is, like you know, creating a connection point with that person, so that it's just you and that person and that's what's truly going to help drive them forward. You know so. So let's say it's a bad review, instead of saying, lindsay, did you see this bad review that you know so-and-so left for you? Can you tell me more? What happened? What did you do? And everybody around is listening.

Speaker 1:

Like that would be coming from a place of force versus a place of power.

Speaker 1:

Like, hey, lindsay, do you have time just to connect with me real quick, let's head over here. Like, so it's just like the tongue is so powerful, the words that we use are so powerful, and so, you know, this is a beautiful opportunity for us to do some reflection, and so I want you to think about a moment, a recent moment if that, that where you were forced, where you forced something to happen in your business. So maybe it was a conversation, maybe it was a coaching strategy that you were trying to use. Maybe you gave that harsh connection. Maybe you pushed a promo no one was excited about. Maybe you stepped in and saved a situation your team could have handled. And now when you think about that, you have to ask yourself, like, what belief was behind that? Or maybe was I afraid it wouldn't happen unless I did it. That's a good one for salon owners to hear. Maybe I was afraid it wouldn't happen unless I did it, or was I afraid of being misunderstood or things falling apart. See, that's force.

Speaker 2:

But if you flip it, if we led that moment from power, what would I have said differently, what questions could I have asked and how would I have shown up so good? Because, truly, when you are leading that place of force, it is exhausting for everyone involved, not just you, but everyone you know. So here is your power practice for the week. So this is how you are going to step more into power this week. You know we want you to write down. You know one area in your salon where you are forcing outcomes, you know. So write down that one area in your salon where you're forcing outcomes, and then the second step is going to be just write down one small shift you can make to lead that area from power instead of panic or force. You know.

Speaker 2:

So it could be, you know, as simple as replacing a demand with a question. You know it could be holding space instead of, you know, fixing fast. You know, and if you need a mantra to hold on, to try this one, I don't need to force anything. That's truly meant for me and I don't need to force anyone who's truly meant to lead with me either. You know, I think that's such a powerful mantra and when you put, you know that power practice into play, you're going to notice a huge shift right away, if nothing else and just the energy that you walk home with right away. But I guarantee people start to see the shift and see I don't know what's going on with Lindsay over there, but something is different about her this week and I'm into it.

Speaker 1:

I love that Because, if you think about it like, leadership doesn't mean holding all the weight you know. It means becoming so steady in your presence, so clear in your vision, that your team naturally aligns, not out of fear but out of inspiration. And that's the real secret. You don't need to pull harder, you don't need to root deeper, and that's what real secret. You don't need to pull harder, you don't need to root deeper, and that's what power really is.

Speaker 2:

So good. You know this was a heart-centered, strategy-driven episode and if it spoke to you, share it with another salon leader that you love. You know, because we're all on this journey of unlearning force and stepping into our power together. So, until next time, keep leading with your heart and keep building something beautiful, because we truly want to bring the beauty back to the beauty industry.