Salon Success Secrets

Can I Talk to You?

• Lindsay Lowe & Jen Booth

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That stomach-dropping moment when a service provider says "Can I talk to you?" is something every salon owner dreads. Your mind races to "they're quitting," and suddenly all the training, coaching, and heartfelt investment you've poured into them feels like it's evaporating before your eyes.

But what if these moments weren't failures at all? What if they were necessary transitions creating space for something better? Through powerful real-world stories, we share how one stylist who stayed aligned with our vision completely transformed a client's experience after five previous stylists had moved on. These departures weren't setbacks—they were essential steps toward building the salon we truly wanted.

The hard truth is that not everyone on your team is meant to grow with you. Some people join your salon in survival mode, and no matter how much you coach them, they don't believe a bigger future is possible. Holding onto the belief that departures equal failure will only burn you out and trap you into compromising your standards. Instead, we offer a revolutionary reframe: your salon's success lives in future employees you haven't even met yet.

We provide practical leadership tools for navigating these conversations with grace and strength—from staying calm when you hear those dreaded words to ending with genuine appreciation rather than desperate attempts to convince someone to stay. Because you're not the problem; you're the pattern breaker building something different in an industry full of chaos, low standards, and burnout. On the other side of every goodbye is the space for exactly the right hello your salon needs.

Are you ready to build a team who truly believes what you believe? Visit SalonSuccessSecretsChallengecom to join our next challenge and transform how you lead your salon team.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the Salon Success Secrets Podcast, where we talk all things leadership, sales and scaling a salon company without losing your soul in the process. So today's episode is titled Can I Talk to you? And if that sentence just made your stomach drop a little, yeah, we get it, because every salon owner we know has had that moment. You know, a service provider walks up and, with maybe a little too much eye contact and a quiet voice, they say can I talk to you? And your brain instantly goes to they're quitting. I just know they're quitting. So what we're going to talk about is that today. So we're going to rewire your relationship with this sentence, not with toxic positivity, but with real leadership tools, belief, shifting stories and a reminder that success you know, the success of your company it doesn't live in the past, it lives in the people you haven't even met yet.

Speaker 2:

So good. I think it's a long as we can all think of that one text or that one conversation. You're like yep, thought, that was coming. You know, what I like to say too is you know they what they don't tell you about opening a salon? You know it's not just about doing hair or skin, taking inventory orders. You know it's about putting your heart on the line.

Speaker 2:

And if you think about it like we as salon owners, we pour so much into our team, there's the coaching, there's the training, there's the celebrating, there's the helping them hit goals, it's fighting for their potential, it's cheering louder than they do for themselves. And then again, on that one, let's say, tuesday afternoon, walk someone walks in, walk someone you've mentored for a year, and they say it can I talk to you? And it's like an emotional version of getting hit by a truck in a slow motion. It can be like that. But let me tell you a real story. This just happened. This happened to me and I'm sure you can relate to it.

Speaker 2:

As one of our service providers, someone who we've coached for months pulls me aside and she's putting in her notice, her reason. She says it's impossible to hit the goals we set to earn for her next career promotion. Her tone is heavy, her mind is already made up and in that moment my heart dropped, but only for a second, because I knew the truth. In fact, in that exact same month, five other people were already on track to hit those same goals, and one of them had just started with us three months earlier. So in that moment I could have questioned everything, lowered the standards, started, spiraling into self-doubt. But here's what I learned is we can't always change someone's belief, even when the data proves what's possible. But that doesn't mean we lower the bar. It means we get clearer about what the bar is for. We keep the vision, we find more people who believe it is possible.

Speaker 1:

I love that story and you know, jen, we obviously just talked recently about this because I had the exact same situation happen with me. And you know, I just want to say something out loud that most people are afraid to admit, and you know that's not everyone on your team is meant to grow with you. Let me say that again Not everyone on your team is meant to grow with you, because some people joined your salon in survival mode and, no matter how much you coach them, they don't believe a bigger future is available. You know, and and here's the old belief that we need to really break today you know that's if someone leaves, it means I failed.

Speaker 1:

You guys, that belief will burn you out, it will make you question your leadership and it will trap you into keeping people who are no longer aligned just because you're afraid of what their departure might say about you, you know. So here's a way that we can reframe this. You know, if someone leaves, it creates space for someone more aligned to come in. You know, because sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is just bless and release with grace, with truth, with courage. You know, because I know that we say this a lot. You know, but your salon is like a temple and we can't let people come in with dirty feet and expect the energy to stay clean so good, lindsey.

Speaker 2:

you know it has me thinking about a recent review we got at our salon. It was for a particular stylist on our team, shout out to mary. And this um client was just raving about mary, about all the little touch points that she did the the neck massages, the blankets, like it. She was just really impressed with the experience. And the thing about this client is she's been to our salon many times before. You know. In fact she's seen probably about five other service providers, including Mary, in the last few years at different times.

Speaker 2:

And you know what I really thought about that review is like I went back to look at her visits because I wanted to see okay, well, we're in the sales process, could we really use to support? And it was so incredible because Mary's the one that's left on our team, everyone else that she had seen before is no longer on our team, and so like if that doesn't give you some power and some freedom, like they just were not aligning with what we wanted to create. But when Mary stepped in and gave that experience, the client felt that for herself she didn't even know, probably, that the service provider she had seen before were no longer part of our company but, like that is the power of the wrong people moving on, it creates that space, like you were just saying, lindsay, to really help set the stage for the sales process or the guest or client experience that you're really trying to create and you are creating in your salon space.

Speaker 1:

That is so powerful, jen, you know it almost makes you think as a service. You know, as a, as a salon owner hey, wouldn't that be great if every negative review ever disappeared, if that person moved on. You know, because it usually is somebody who's not committed to the vision. And you know, because it usually is somebody who's not committed to the vision and you know, mary is a beautiful example of somebody who is committed to the vision, you know. So, let's, let's really zoom out for a second.

Speaker 1:

And because most salon owners we talk to are stuck in fix it mode, you know, they're so focused on salvaging what's not working, so focused on salvaging what's not working, they forget that they're not here to just babysit broken beliefs from service providers on their team.

Speaker 1:

You know, because you're really here to build a legacy. You're here to create a place where beauty professionals thrive. And if you believe that's possible, you know we want you to understand something really powerful, that's the success of your company lies in future employees you haven't even met yet. Let me say that again, let it really sink in. You know the success of your company lies in future employees you haven't even met yet. Yes, it stings when someone leaves, but what if it's a signal that there's a new person waiting to find you? You know, somebody who's hungry, somebody who's aligned and somebody who's ready for the standard that you've already set. You know, because we we spend so much time trying to convince someone to believe. But let's stop chasing belief in people who don't believe in themselves and let's attract people who already want what you've built and they're willing to show up for it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Can I get an amen to that? Lindsaysey? I love that. When you just said that, it almost sent chills in my body. It's like let's stop chasing belief in people who don't believe in themselves wasting our time. Gosh, that is just so good. And if you really can adapt that belief, wow, the opportunities it creates for you will be endless. And so now that we've kind of talked it out and like what do I do when I hear can I talk to you? Let's make this practical.

Speaker 2:

So when someone says can I talk to you, the first thing you can do is pause and take a deep breath. You know that's so powerful. You don't need to panic, you don't need to jump to conclusions and you definitely don't need to beg. Here's what you can do instead is stay calm and neutral. You know your job is to hold space, not take it personally. You know.

Speaker 2:

Another opportunity is to ask curious questions. Um, If you feel like they, if you feel like you want to learn, but if you're like, yeah, they need to go anyway, Sometimes I'm just like go on, let's don't ask these curious questions. So one could be like can you tell me what led you to this decision? Or what do you feel like is missing. This isn't about changing their mind. Sometimes it's just about clarity. But I'll say this again If you feel like they need to move on, it's a gift, it's the greatest gift that you can give. It's no use in spending your time asking the question and spending their time listening to their answer, and so just remember that and don't promise what breaks your standards. You know, lowering your goals to keep someone is like shrinking your crown to fit someone else's head, you know. And the other opportunity is to end with strength. You know the greatest thing you can say is thank you.

Speaker 1:

You know.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for everything. If, uh, you know we wish, we truly wish you the best. It's that simple.

Speaker 1:

So good. Thank you for everything. We truly miss you, or we truly wish you the best.

Speaker 1:

We don't miss you, no you know, it doesn't mean like hey, um, occasionally people are just going to come in and they're not right for your culture, and that is, like Jen mentioned, the most beautiful gift when that happens. Um, and just to wish them well because, hey, just cause they're not the right fit for you Doesn't mean you know, that they can't go to clip and curl down the street and hey, that was where they were supposed to be, where there's no goals and there's no standards and you can just do whatever. You know, we, we all, are creating different things. So just be really clear on what you're creating and you know, miracles will happen, because, you know, if you've ever walked out of one of those conversations, you know, and you've thought, maybe I'm the problem, you know, here is your permission slip to stop, because you're not the problem, you're the pattern breaker.

Speaker 1:

You're the one building something different in an industry full of chaos, low standards and burnout, and that means sometimes people will leave. You know, because a lot of people have grown up in households that have chaos, low standards and burnout, and that's just what they've seen their whole lives and they don't see a different path. You know, but sometimes you'll meet someone even more incredible than you ever imagined. Or you'll realize all of the amazing people that you still get to work with. You know and, hey, maybe even a former employee might eventually realize what they had, or they'll remember that belief that you had in them once upon a time. And even if they don't, that's okay. You stayed true to your vision and what you knew was possible inside the beauty industry. So next time someone says, can I talk to you, let your inner voice respond calmly yes, respond calmly, yes. Yes, you can, because I can handle it and because on the other side of every goodbye, is a space for the right Hello.

Speaker 2:

Space for the right Hello. I love that. So, salon owners, if this episode hits home, you know, share it with another salon owner who needs this reminder. And if you're ready to build a team who believes what you believe, join us inside Salon Success or sorry, Salon Business School or Gravacy at our next challenge, SalonSuccessSecretsChallengecom. Links are in the show notes and we are so grateful for you and we'll see you next time on the Salon Success Secrets Podcast.