Leadership Film Study | Case File #001: Why Your Team Says Yes... But Doesn't Change

We kick off Leadership Film Study by breaking down real coaching moments the way elite teams watch game film, so we can lead with more intention and fewer blind spots. We use a simple salon coaching clip about double booking to show how force creates resistance while power builds ownership that lasts. 
• why we study coaching conversations like film 
• how leadership language shapes focus and performance 
• spotting resistance before the words even land 
• force vs power and why intention is not enough 
• the wind and sun fable as a leadership lens 
• AII framework: ask, imagine, invite 
• role-play of coaching double booking with ownership 
• why silence can be a form of force 
• force changes behavior for a moment; power changes beliefs for a lifetime 
Yeah, so here's our challenge for you before the next episode. You know, just think about one coaching conversation you've had this week. Replay it in your mind. You know, ask yourself, what did my words cause the other person to focus on? You know, did I create ownership? Did I expand them? Did they leave feeling bigger than when they walked into that conversation? Because sometimes the biggest breakthrough doesn't come from changing your team, it comes from changing the way you lead. 

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Transcript

Why Study Leadership Like Film

SPEAKER_01 0:33

We are really excited about today's episode because it's the beginning of something we've wanted to do for a long time. And we're calling it Leadership Film Study. So if you've ever watched an NFL team prepare for a game, you know they spend hours watching film. Not because they're trying to embarrass anyone, and not because they're looking for someone to blame. They watch film because it's one of the fastest ways to improve. You know, they study decisions, communication, body language, timing, and patterns, and they ask, what can we learn from this? You know, the best coaches in sports understand something that's easy to overlook. Championships are often won in the smallest moments, you know, even down to the words they choose. Elite coaches are incredibly intentional because they know that language shapes focus. So instead of telling an athlete what not to do, they teach them exactly what to do. You know, it's a subtle shift, but that's what separates good coaching from great coaching. And that's exactly what this series is about. So we're gonna watch real coaching moments from inside our industry, not to criticize people, not to declare who's right or wrong, and certainly not because we think we've got everything figured out. You know, there's so many good people trying to help salon owners, and we genuinely believe that. But what we're offering is simply another perspective. So every leader has blind spots. We do too. In fact, many of the principles we'll share are lessons we've learned by getting it wrong ourselves. So our hope is that instead of watching these conversations and asking, what did they do wrong, you'll begin asking a much better question. What leadership principle is hiding in this moment? Because almost every coaching conversation reveals something much bigger than the conversation itself. You know, sometimes it's about power versus force, and sometimes it's about identity instead of performance. Sometimes it's about asking better questions instead of giving better answers. You know, sometimes it's one word or one question or one moment that completely changes how someone leaves the conversation. And when you learn to see those moments, you begin leading differently. And that's really our promise with the this series is don't just watch coaching, learn to see what other leaders miss. Because once you change the way that you see leadership, you'll never coach the same way again.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Yeah, so good. And here's something we'd love to invite you into as you watch with us. Listen, you guys, you don't have to agree with every perspective we share. The goal isn't agreement, the goal is curiosity. You know, leadership isn't black and white. There are usually several ways to approach the same situation, right? And every conversation gives us an opportunity to think a little deeper, to ask better questions, and become more intentional leaders. So as we watch each clip, don't ask yourself who's right. You know, instead ask, what can I learn that will help me become the leader I've always wanted to be? Because that's why we're here. You know, inside the Salon Owner Co, this is exactly what we obsess over. Not just better strategies, but becoming the kind of leader whose words create confidence, ownership, and transformation. You know, because great leaders don't just build successful salons, they actually build people. And when you build enough great people, championships tend to follow.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

I love that. Championships tend to follow for sure. So let's actually go ahead and jump into our very first leadership film study. You know, today we are looking at a coaching conversation that, in our opinion, beautifully illustrates the difference between force and power. So let's go ahead and watch this clip together. Here we go.

A Coaching Clip On Double Booking

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I don't hear it.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Great to know, Jenny. Let's go ahead and pause right there then. And you're I mean, I was hoping that you guys could just imagine it. Um, let me let me stop sharing and I'll reshare this wonderful little clip. All right, we are rocking and rolling again with this clip with audio. I think it's time. You're starting to get really here we go.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Okay, I think it's time. You're starting to get really busy. You're getting so much faster. I think we need to look at shortening your service timing and maybe starting to double book. How do you feel about that? Shortening my service timing? Yeah. I don't know. That sounds like a lot to me. Double booking and well. Yeah, I think it's time. Okay, you're doing so good. You're so busy, your schedule's getting full. I think you could do it. I don't know. It just sounds overwhelming to me. Do you want to make more money? Well, yeah. Do you want to take more time off? Yes, of course. Well, then I think we should give it a shot. I think you can do it. Okay, you can. Okay, I'll give it a shot. Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 6:38

Just curious, what stood out to you in that video?

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Yeah. You know, um I actually noticed something before she really even ever asked a question or talked about it, you know. Um, it was really like you could see how the other, how the beauty pro was reacting in that conversation. It was like she was like back, you know, the second she started, I like just made a big noise. It was like she came back in the conversation. She was like resistant to the conversation

Spotting Resistance In Real Time

SPEAKER_01 7:10

right away. And, you know, I think you could tell that there was beautiful intention behind the video, you know, like I think all of it starts with beautiful intention. Like you can see something bigger for somebody than they can for themselves. But when you just tell, tell, tell, you know, sometimes that doesn't always create the environment that we intend to, I think.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

Yeah, you know, I agree. I feel like this a conversation isn't really about double booking, you know, it's it's about force versus power. You know, when you think about force, actually the word force comes from the definition meaning to make something happen through pressure. So if you think about that, right? And so force says, hey, here's what you need to do. So it's like, here's what you need to do, you need to double book, right? And so power on the flip side of that is the ability or capacity to act or do something effectively. Also freeing, right? So power says, Hey, let's discover what's possible together. So you got a fun little uh cartoon clip that illustrates beautifully the difference between force and power. So lean in. You don't want to miss this.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

The wind and the sun are having a disagreement.

SPEAKER_01 8:26

P.S. We like to listen to videos at 1.5 speed. So if you're our people, welcome. Strap in and pay attention. This is such a good video. I am the most powerful, says the wind.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

No, I am the most powerful, says the sun. I can blow trees to the ground, rags the wind. I can push ships across the ocean. I can make hurricanes and tornadoes. Is that right? replies the sun. Well, I can melt all the snow on the mountains.

The Wind And Sun Fable

SPEAKER_02 8:55

I can dry up an entire lake. I can make a sidewalk so hot that it cooks an egg. Just then they see a man walking along the road in his winter jacket. Let's have a contest to see who is more powerful, says the wind. Whoever can remove the man's jacket first wins. The sun agrees. The wind goes first. He blows a gust of cold wind at the man. The man shivers and zips up his jacket. What a cold and windy day. It starts to rain. The wind blows even harder and turns the rain into snow. Well, look at that. It's snowing, says the man. Snow wasn't in the weather forecast today. He pulls his hood over his head. The wind blows its strongest gust towards the man. But the man's jacket stays on. It's a bit fresh today, he says. A winter storm must be coming. He zips the jacket higher to cover his nose. This is impossible, says the wind. He stops blowing. My turn, says the sun. First, the sun shines enough to stop the snow. The man unzips his hood. Then the sun pulls the clouds apart and gently shines down on the man. Suddenly it is a beautiful spring day. Wow, the weather sure is strange around here, says the man. He unzips his jacket. The sun gently wiggles her fingers and increases the temperature. What strange weather. Now it feels like summer, the man says as he begins to sweat. Goodness me, it's so hot. He removes his winter jacket. He lies down on the grass for a nap in the warm sun. I win, says the sun, beaming. Moral, sometimes warmth and gentleness can achieve more than strength and force.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

The end.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

So good. I love that. You know, I think I'm gonna start just telling the sun to wiggle its fingers if I never need the temperature turned up. I didn't know the sun could do that, but that's good to know. But that was it's such a cute little fable, you know, because if you think about it, like how often do we work so hard? That wind kept blowing, it kept changing things, it created new storms, it like it just kept going. And that person almost started to cover up more. It's like they're they brought their hood over their uh head, they zip up their jacket, but the sun was just like, you know, I'll just create some more. I'll I'll do what I was created to do and uh contribute to the world. And next thing you know, the jacket's

Turning Warmth Into Leadership Power

SPEAKER_03 11:25

coming off. He turns up the sun, turns up the heat a little bit more and he's relaxing um in the in the grass. And so I think that is just a really beautiful example of um force versus power.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Yes, I love that video so much, Jen. I couldn't agree more. And you know, I think uh all of us can probably relate to, I know I can um leaving a coaching conversation and feeling like, ugh, that did not go as I intended for it to go. And, you know, when you know the difference between power and force, like you start to realize, like, hey, you know, you might have good intentions, but nobody likes to be blown around or like pushed into what to do. You know, they there's another way that we can do it with, like you mentioned, the warmth, where people just naturally want to be in that environment. And so we have an awesome framework that we want to share with you today that we utilize all the time inside of coaching conversations that really help you stay in that position of power. And the framework is really simple. Um, it's our version of AI, but it's AI squared, so it's AII, um, which stands for ask, imagine, and invite. And so what this looks like is, you know, you start off with asking, you know, somebody a question. So instead of saying, hey, it looks like you've been really busy, it's time for you to start shortening your service times and double booking. Are you ready? Yeah. You would say, you know, like, hey, tell me about like what kind of schedule do you ultimately want? Or what kind of guests, you know, would you like to serve? And then, and then you start the imagine process after they answer those questions, you know, like, what would it look like? What would your life look like if you were consistently fully booked? You know, if you your schedule was pretty full, you know. Um, what do you think your guests would experience? You know, because like you also have to think the clients who are spending the most money, they probably want the least amount of time with a service provider. Like they want, they want to get in and out, like, because at a certain time you have more money than you do time. And so, like, just even saying, like, what would that look like? What kind of clients, guests would you be serving? You know, and then you get to the invite portion, which is like, would you like to explore some systems that could help make that happen? You know, and I want you to notice something about this conversation is now the beauty pro owns the decision. You've asked, imagine, and invited. You haven't said, like, hey, you need to do this. I think it's time for you. It's not about what you think, it's about what they think. Like when you create that environment, like that's when you get people to say yes and own that decision and be proud of it and actually want to contribute to making that possible.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Yeah, I love that. So there's not a better way to do this than to actually demonstrate it and role-play it out for you guys. That's one thing we love to do with with our salon teams because there's a difference between just um reading it and then actually putting it into action. So you, if we revert back to that very first video uh that Lindsay shared with us, you know, it was it kind of came from a place of, you know, you have to do this. I you got it, you can do it. Um what else was said in there, Lindsay? I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

Um

Ask Imagine Invite Coaching Framework

SPEAKER_01 15:12

I mean, really, that was it. Like it had positive intents, but it was like, I believe this for you, not you believe this for you. It was force, not power, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:21

Yeah. So we thought we would role play it of kind of what this would look like if um you were in a coaching conversation with a uh teammate and the opportunity was double booking or um, you know, booking a little different. So Lindsay, would you like to be the beauty pro or the salon? Okay. Good either way, but I would love to be that.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

That's great.

SPEAKER_03 15:43

Okay, awesome. So we're gonna go back to our framework, like Lindsay mentioned, the AI squared. So we're gonna start with ask. And so if, you know, if we're in a conversation, we've probably already celebrated the good. So we've gone over wins. We're just gonna kind of really take you to this framework quickly so that you can just kind of listen and get a feel for what it looks like to implement it. So of course, the first thing I'd want to ask Lindsay is like, hey, Lindsay, I would love to know, like, if you could have any dream schedule, what would that look like for you?

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Yeah, I mean, I would love to work, you know, mostly mornings and um like just see as many amazing guests as I can, you know, and help them with all their beauty needs.

SPEAKER_03 16:30

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

How many mornings are you working right now? Right now I'm like half mornings, half evenings.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

Okay, so that's right. You're like two mornings, two evenings. Okay, awesome. So, how many mornings would you love to see happen for you or to create?

SPEAKER_01 16:47

I'd love to work only mornings, like only mornings. I want to start a family someday, and I'd love to be home after school with the kids.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Oh, I love that. So think about this. What could make that possible if you could work only mornings, which will allow you the opportunity to be home with the kids?

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Like, what would your life look like? Yeah, well, I mean, just based on some of the previous coaching conversations that we've had together, Jen, like I know that I'm just missing a few guests. And, you know, I know we've talked about um like timing before because like sometimes I get lost in the back of the head when I'm foiling, you know, and so I know that like in order to get to those mornings, like if I'm just missing a few guests, like if I really focus in on my timing, that I really think that that would like start to make like just adjust things for me totally. Like, and also I've noticed, like, um, you know, you mentioned one time, like, hey, just pay attention to, you know, what it's like when, you know, we've role-played before where we've talked about like what my schedule looks like. And I am wasting a lot of time. Like, there's a lot of times where I'm not doing stuff. So I have actually started double booking here and there. But I think if I just like made the commitment and just tried it, like I know the power of working on a team. Like, I know somebody will help me if I get behind. And the couple times that I've done it, I actually had extra time. It was amazing. I think you told me, like, however much time you give something, you'll expand it out. So yeah, I I think I know. I I love that.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

A high five, Lindsay. Gosh, so coachable. I love that. So I'll tell you what, let's explore some systems that we have in the salon here that could really make that happen.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Awesome.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Yeah, awesome. Perfect. So there, I mean, of course, we'd go into it, go into the systems, like help pull out their books, help them like uh understand what you know the day would look like, how they would double book, like we could go into that deeper. But like that's the basics of ask, imagine, and then invite them in. And I think the most beautiful part of that, did you see who did most of the talking? It was not me. You're right, I was meaning right. It was Lindsay, right? Because she owns the decision. And as you can tell between the experience that we've had this conversation before. And so now she's really able to see herself in it. And, you know, when you relate it back to that dream schedule that she's hoping she gets to have all days, she's tying that into what's important to her, and that's where the systems just allow her to really create that.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

Yeah, that is such a beautiful example. And I think, you know, like you mentioned, Jen, at the beginning of starting that role play, like you might be thinking, gosh, some of my team members will sound like Lindsay did and Jen did during that coaching, but some of them will be more resistant because, you know, they have been used to having wind leadership their whole life. And so sometimes, you know, I think as leaders to remember, like, hey, we're here to plant the seed and then water it and help them water it, you know, and

When Progress Is Slow Or Silent

SPEAKER_01 19:58

it doesn't always mean that on one coaching conversation you're gonna make it happen. But what we have seen over the years of working with salon owners across the world is that anytime you're using force as your main way of coaching, it only lasts for so long because there's no ownership. And when you use power and you're like, okay, it's okay however long this, you know, seed takes to water, as long as we're seeing progress forward, that is the most important thing. Because sometimes Slaughter's like, I don't even know if this is working or not. Well, you know, if they're going backwards, and then that's your sign, you know. But if if they're just even if they're just standing on the same stair on the staircase, as long as they're not going back down, that's what you're looking for. And that's what power can really create.

SPEAKER_03 20:47

You know, Lindsay, something else that just came to mind to me too was that um sometimes when we think of force, we think of that's always yelling or screaming, but force can actually be not saying anything as well. So just something we invite you to think about. Like if you see something that needs some coaching, you don't say anything, like that can be from a place of force as well, right? Because if at the moment nothing changes because nothing was said. Because here is truly the leadership truth when it comes to this, and this is a writer-downer, is that force changes behavior for a moment, right? But power changes beliefs for a lifetime. So force changes behavior for a moment. Power changes beliefs for a lifetime. And hey, you guys, if there's one thing that we hope you take away from today's leadership film study, it's this every coaching conversation teaches us something, whether it's what to do or what to do differently.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

So true. And you know, that's really why we're doing this series, not because we're interested in pointing fingers, because we're interested in becoming championship-level leaders. You know, the kind of leaders who understand that sometimes changing one question, one

The One Question Challenge

SPEAKER_01 22:03

sentence, or even one word can completely change how another person thinks, feels, and performs. You know, and every clip we study is another opportunity to sharpen our leadership lens. You know, it's to uncover principles that are easy to miss and ultimately to learn how to build beauty pros who become more confident, more capable, and more committed.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

Yeah, so here's our challenge for you before the next episode. You know, just think about one coaching conversation you've had this week. Replay it in your mind. You know, ask yourself, what did my words cause the other person to focus on? You know, did I create ownership? Did I expand them? Did they leave feeling bigger than when they walked into that conversation? Because sometimes the biggest breakthrough doesn't come from changing your team, it comes from changing the way you lead.

unknown 23:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:07

You know, that's what we spend our time studying inside of the Salon Owner Code inner circle because, and inner circle and in the salon owner code, because our mission isn't simply to help salon owners build more profitable businesses. It's to help them become the kind of leaders who develop extraordinary people, you know, the kind of leaders who create the next generation of industry leaders and the kind of leaders who don't just win today, they build teams that keep winning. And next time we'll open another case file, we'll study another real coaching moment, uncover another leadership principle hiding beneath the surface, and give you another practical framework you can use with your team immediately. So until then, remember don't just watch coaching. Learn to see what other leaders miss. We'll see you next time on Leadership Film Study.