Leadership Film Study #004:Why Your Team Complies... But Doesn't Commit

We react to a salon leadership clip where the expectations are solid but the delivery leans on force, and we unpack why that approach creates short-term compliance instead of real ownership. We share practical language shifts and a simple framework that helps teams understand the why, feel confident, and take responsibility even when we are not in the room. 

• Good expectations paired with poor delivery 
• Forceful language that targets behavior not beliefs 
• The difference between compliance and ownership 
• Connecting tasks to meaning so effort feels worthwhile 
• Asking how people feel after hearing a message 
• How fear shows up in team behavior and guest experience 
• Reframing assistant education as a residency opportunity 
• Using ask, imagine, invite to build buy-in 
• Fixing systems instead of shaming people for outcomes 
• Why purpose inspires more than rules 

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:34

Welcome back to another leadership film study. You know, if you've been following this series, you know we are not here to criticize other leaders. You know, we're here to become better leaders ourselves. So every clip we share is just an opportunity to ask, what can we learn from this? And today's video is a really interesting one because on the surface, I actually agree with almost everything this leader is asking for of their team. They're asking people to take notes, be coachable, to invest in their careers, and for experienced stylists to truly develop

Leadership Film Study Setup

SPEAKER_02 1:06

the people they're leading. And you guys, those are all great expectations. But as we watched it, we kept coming back to one question is this creating ownership or just compliance? So let's watch the clip.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

This shows me that you are serious about your career. If you can't take 10 minutes out of your week to write down the notes of what you learned, then to me, you're not learning anything, you're not paying attention, and you're not taking it serious. So this little booklet may seem like it's not like a suggestion. It's not. It's a requirement. It's something that we've put together. Everything we do here is with intent and purposeful, and there's proof in the pudding. It's proof in the pudding that every single one of you has either started on the floor and moved up and then has now doubled and tripled your numbers. Everything

The Clip And The Notebook Rule

SPEAKER_00 2:00

we do here makes sense. Even if it doesn't make sense, eventually it makes sense. Um, so that's why we figured out, okay, let's implement a book. Okay, let's implement this. We're figuring it out as we go because we want it to be a better, more structured system for you guys. So if you're not getting what you need from either party and you're not communicating those needs with somebody, you're never gonna grow and learn. So, co-artists, know you're gonna have to get constructive criticism that maybe doesn't feel so great, but you have to understand that they are here for the better good of your career. They are not here to be your friend, they are not here to be your buddy, they are not here to joke with you, they're here to grow you and give you a career to make lifetime success. Master artists, the co-artists are not just here to hold foils for you, they're not just here to get content for you, they're not just here to wash your claims, they are here to grow and learn and be educated and be shared all of the knowledge that you have to offer for them. And it's an honor and it's a privilege to have a personal assistant. It is not just expected and given just because you're a master artist. So if you can't hold yourself accountable to educating your master, your apprentice, you will not maintain one.

unknown 3:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

All right. Well, you know, the first thing that stood out to me was, you know, none of the expectations were the problem, like you said, Jen. You know, I actually agree with, you know, what she wants from her team. You know, what stood out was how she was trying to get there. You know, throughout the entire clip, I kept hearing language that sounded like you have to, you need to. It's required. If you don't, you know, that's what we call force. And force might get someone to change

Force Creates Compliance Not Ownership

SPEAKER_01 3:51

their behavior while you're standing in the room, you know, but it almost never changes the way that they think. And that's really what leadership is. Leadership isn't just getting people to do something, it's helping them understand why it matters so deeply that they actually want to do it, even when you're not there. And that's the difference between compliance and ownership. And that's really what we want to unpack today.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Yeah. So, you know, something to think about is there's good expectations but poor delivery. Delivery. You know, so good expectations but poor delivery. Um, you know, when you think here, um, you know, like Lindsay was saying, her expectations were not unreasonable, right? Like, is this long or you could probably relate to like, hey, we want our co-stylist to educate. I mean, we want our co-stylist to be enrolled, we want our educators to educate. You know, we believe that those assistants, or she called them, what does she call them? Co-stylists. She called them assistants, yeah. Assistants, so those assistants should learn. We believe educators should educate, we believe people should take notes. The problem isn't the expectation, the problem is believing that repeating the expectation louder will magically create buy-in.

SPEAKER_01 5:09

Yeah, I've never seen that happen, Jen. I don't know if you have like neither.

SPEAKER_02 5:13

I was thinking, I there'll be some magic. It would definitely be some magic.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

I know it's funny because uh, you know, I get the frustration sometimes too, because sometimes you're like, gosh, I've said this about 50 times, but if they're not hearing you, saying it louder is not gonna change that, you know. And you know, force always lives in behavior. If you notice every sentence that she said was about behavior, you know, you should, you need to, you have to, it's required, you won't, you must. But great leaders, they actually go underneath behavior. They ask, why would somebody naturally do this? You know, so like even if you just think about like um the book that she was like, you must fill this out. It's required. But why would somebody skip that? And when you start to really question, like, why would somebody do that? I believe you can start to come up with some answers to like help understand the other person. You know, actually, what this makes me think of is my oldest daughter, Ella. Um, this year is going to be a junior in high school. And one of the requirements for her, she's required, it's required. No, I'm just kidding, that she either takes um forensics or debate. And so, you know, we were talking about that. Um, she was deciding which one she was going to be in. And so we were looking up what they were about, and she was like, I don't know. She was like, I just I don't know about debate because, like, what if I don't get to choose which side of the debate I'm on and I'm, you know, forced to debate something that I don't agree with. And I said, honestly, Ella, I think that that could be one of the most beautiful gifts that you could give yourself is learning how to think how another person thinks. It it still doesn't mean it has to align with your morals and values. Like you can know, like, hey, this is just a game I'm playing when I'm doing this for debate. But like great leaders do go underneath behavior. They want to know why would somebody naturally want to do that? Why would they think that way versus just like you should do this, you should do that. Like it just it doesn't create lasting change or transformation.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

Yeah, you kept saying something there, uh Lindsay, that really stood out to me. It was like the missing why. Um, you know, you know, when I think about one of my favorite points for this, you know, she said, fill out your notebook. You know, imagine though, instead of saying fill out your notebook, you said, Hey, imagine if someone had handed you a roadmap, six figures on your very first day. You know, that's what this notebook gets to become. You know, this isn't homework, it's actually your future. Now people are gonna see that notebook or have a whole different relationship with that notebook

The Missing Why Behind Expectations

SPEAKER_02 7:57

because they truly understand the why behind it. And they feel enrolled in being part of that bigger vision, you know, because people rarely resist effort, you know, they resist meaningless effort.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Yeah, when it's meaningless, that is, you know, such a huge point that you just made, Jen. If they don't understand, they haven't connected that why yet, you know, and I think that that's like truly the main difference between compliance and ownership. Jen, I love the way uh would you explain the difference between compliance and ownership?

SPEAKER_02 8:34

Yeah, so uh I like to say that compliance, like it exists because the leader is watching. The leader tells you what to do. You see the leader walk in the room, you're like, oh my gosh, there she is. I must do this, I must do this. But ownership, the beautiful thing about ownership is it exists when nobody is there. So, like that notebook that gets filled out, whether the owner or leader checks in or not, you know, they do it because they're enrolled in that bigger picture. They want to be part of that because it's no, they know it's gonna be a magical thing for them, it's gonna help them to grow.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

So good, you know, and what really stands out for me when watching those videos is like just thinking about how the people are in the audience receiving that information. You know, I think you can tell when someone is a new leader when all they care about is getting something done, you know? And when someone, you know, has been around for a while, they they care more about how it lands. And really that doesn't matter if you you're new or not new, like it's just

How Your Message Actually Lands

SPEAKER_01 9:37

the type of leader that you want to be in the world, you know. I think one of the most important questions that you could ask yourself is how do people feel after hearing this? So, like thinking back to what all was said, do they feel like I can do this? Or do they feel like, I hope I don't screw this up? You know, because one feeling truly does create growth and opportunity for the person. And the other one creates so much fear that they're like, oh, they're shrunk and like I just imagine them running around screening like rats around the place, like, oh God, I gotta do this, I gotta do that. I'm gonna, I'm afraid I'm gonna make mess everything up.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Yeah, you know, and that brings us to um, you know, something we that they mentioned too in the in the video where she was talking about the assistants and the uh educators, I don't know what she called a master stylist, master artist, or something like that. Um, you know, I was thinking about that too. Like, um, like you think about that from a guest experience. Like, I'm thinking about myself as a guest, and you know, you would probably feel that energy if somebody's just being told what to do from that standpoint. You know, we like to look at that is actually when we when you get

Guest Experience And Salon Residency

SPEAKER_02 10:51

to experience, you know, from a guest perspective, what a co-stylist and educator get to do together, we call that the residency. You know, that brings out a whole new guest experience. It's also a whole new way for the team to grow and build. It's like the guest actually gets a more than experience instead of a less than experience because they have two beauty pros getting ready to transform their look. And so, you know, instead of like, hey, we don't, we what did she say? We need uh we need assistance. I can't remember exactly what she said. We need assistance. Like, imagine the conversation became, hey, we're actually creating six-figure beauty pros. And you know, imagine if you were the best resident we ever had. Like, what would you be doing? And like when you have those conversations, it starts to expand. The educator and the co-stylist, the res residency is expanded, and then the guest experience is expanded because everything is in energy, nothing is um left out or created, or not the energy is neither. I can't get my words created or destroyed. Thank you. I'm gonna start to start with Spanish there. I don't even know. But it is really, it's really cool to think about because like then they're approaching the guest experience from a totally more beautiful way. And instead of being scared because they're like, oh my gosh, they're gonna think this. Oh my gosh, I gotta do this. So something to look at when you think about your training programs, all your residencies, and the way you're setting it up in your salons.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Yeah. And you know, Jen, I think one of the things too that stood out for me too was like sometimes like there's a time and a place to address a whole group of people. Um, and there's also a time and a place to have like a one-on-one conversation with somebody. And I think oftentimes a lot of salon owners use a team meeting to have conversations with a whole group of people that need to be had one-on-one. I'm not sure what you know, set this up to have this meeting that she was

Ask Imagine Invite Instead Of Command

SPEAKER_01 12:48

having with her team. But I think when you do have the opportunity to work one-on-one with somebody, like if, you know, there was one person or two people that were like maybe not utilizing that relationship properly, they weren't setting it up to be a win-win for everybody, like then having those one-on-one conversations, like using the framework we talked about last week on our leaderships um film study, where we talked about ask, imagine, invite. So, you know, if you just like you mentioned, Jin, imagine you were the best resident we ever had, what would you be doing? You could use the same thing for the educator. Like, imagine like you were the best educator ever, or imagine you were brand new to this team. Like, what would be the most important thing that you could help this beauty pro learn? So, you know, instead of telling the group what to do, ask, you know, instead of commanding, paint a picture for people of what's possible. And instead of demanding that somebody does something, invite ownership, like help them understand the why. Like, you know, why do you even think that we created this notebook? Just curious, you know? That would be a great ask. And then you can imagine, like, imagine, you know, even looking back at this three years from now and realizing you have built an incredible career because of every day when you came in, you filled this out and you imagined all these amazing things for your guests that you were serving that day, you know, and then you can invite them. Like, what ideas do you have for making this notebook something you'll actually want to do every day? Like, what would make you feel proud at the end of the week to look back on, you know? And now they have helped build that story instead of you just telling them what they need to do. This is required here. No, they understand why you're doing it. They see the value in it for the guests in themselves.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

You know, Lindsay, with everything you just said, it brings me back to an experience we had at our salon once upon a time. Um, maybe some salon owners can relate to this. Um, but we were having a challenge with people calling out. So we get it, six days happens, but there was becoming an overabundance of it. And, you know, I went back to the system and I discovered from um our director that people were easily being able to text instead of actually call. So nothing against the director. We just had a broken system that we had to put back together and replay it to the team. And you know, I'm thinking about this because um

Callouts Story And Fixing The System

SPEAKER_02 15:25

during the salon celebration, because it's truly a time to celebrate, because a lot of great things have happened. You know, I could have easily stood up there and said, you guys, you need to get your stuff together. This is ridiculous. We've had, you know, whatever 90 callouts in the last six months, you know, I could have said all kinds of things and and like like what is happening? Like this, we've got to stop this today. Like, we need to do better. We have to do better. Like, I could have presented it like that, but you know, I was like, if you present it like that, what do you think is gonna change? Nothing. It may change for a week or two, maybe three at the most, but then they're so frightened, they're probably getting sick because they're carrying that inside. They're gonna get more sick, right? And so, you know, as a salon celebration, it was simple as like, hey, we have a huge opportunity here. You know, we talked about the broken system, we put the system back together, and I said, share with the partner what comes to mind for you. And somebody on our team said, Oh man, I didn't even think about this. But you know what? I'm gonna think twice before I call out because it's easy for me to text. It's not as easy for me to make that phone call. So that is the big, like that's a beautiful example of compliance versus enrollment. Compliance would have been me saying, Hey guys, like you're gonna think twice about calling out calling out because you're not gonna have to call instead of text, but no, someone on my team said it and it enrolled their peers to see it. So that is just a great example of compliance versus enrollment.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah, I love that. And there is a great time and a place to address a whole group of people when it is multiple people on a team, you know, to help paint that picture, imagine things together, and then invite that new opportunity on together, you know. And I think truly what might be like the deepest lesson here is that rules don't inspire people, purpose does, you know. And I remember, Jen, you even said uh one of the things that stood out to you in that meeting was just about like what they were uncovering, what the guest was experiencing too. Like you talked about how you fix the system, obviously, and all of that too. But like you even talked about like what is this like for guests, you know, and and just like helping them understand that, like, um, because like

Purpose Beats Rules Every Time

SPEAKER_01 17:37

it it does break trust with guests when we are rescheduling their appointments. And you could also stand up and say it breaks trust with our guests, you know. But when you're like, tell like imagine what it's like for the guests when that happens, and your team is like, well, they probably don't trust us as much if we're doing it multiple times, you know, on their visits. And, you know, so when they understand purpose instead of rules, like so instead of like saying, you know, if we were gonna use the notebook that they talked about earlier as an example, instead of saying like complete this notebook, it becomes, you know, the more you understand like how to create that beautiful experience for your guests, like the consultation, the communication, diagnosis, hospitality, like you'll you'll get to think about that guest that you're gonna serve that day. You might think, gosh, Lindsay has dry hair during her diagnosis step. I'm gonna just do a quick little strand test and see if, or shine test, see if her ends are as shiny as up here, and then offer her some treatments that would help make her life even better. So, you know, instead of saying, you gotta do this, we have a reason, well let let them know why. Like if you have a reason, let them know, like help them imagine it so that then they start to see, wow, I feel more like a professional when I come up with a plan for the day. My guests win because like I'm coming up with treatments that are actually gonna help serve them. And really, that's truly when a win-win-win happens.

SPEAKER_02 19:08

You know, Anzi, I think one of the easiest traps that leaders fall into is believing that if people aren't doing something, they simply need to hear it louder or more often. But you know, leadership isn't about increasing pressure, it's about increasing understanding.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

Yeah, you know, every behavior has a belief that lives underneath it. So if someone isn't taking notes, maybe they don't yet see the value. If someone isn't mentoring on your team, maybe they don't understand the impact they're capable of having. And if someone isn't taking ownership, maybe nobody has invited them into something bigger than themselves. Because great leaders don't just change behavior, they change the thinking that produces the behavior.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Yeah, because once people truly understand why something matters, as we keep saying, you know, they rarely need to be forced to do something or to do it.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

So true, Jen. And that is the difference between compliance and commitment. And that's why the best leaders don't build followers, they build people who take ownership. So thanks for joining us for another leadership film study. We will see you next week.

unknown 20:27

Bye bye.