Everybody. This is Brian Grenadier and this is the Origins podcast, and I enjoy talking with people, friends, specifically all about their origin stories, hearing about how they got here, what they do, why they do it and all the details about their lives. And today I am with Wendy Lang although it's not spelled Lang, but Grenadier is not spelled Grenadier either and she has a wonderful story starting in China when she was very young, coming to America, and she is a jeweler, a concierge jeweler. Wendy, tell me what that is again.
Speaker 2:Hello Brian, thank you again for having me. It's just wonderful to be here and to have this conversation with you today, so thank you. To be a concierge jeweler means to be everything and anything that a client would ever want to when it comes to fine jewelry, gold, diamonds. So clients would come see me for their wedding rings, to have their jewelry redesigned, to have things custom made. So with my team and I, everything is made in house at the studio. We take anything from design to concept to the finished piece.
Speaker 1:It's phenomenal. So you're, what is it like? I'm just sitting in my timer so we know roughly how much time goes by. What is it like when a customer comes in and says, all right, I want this, and you come up and say, I have this in mind, and then it's better.
Speaker 2:I think it comes with experience this is entering my third decade in the industry and it comes with being able to hear what the client is really asking, because oftentimes they come to the table searching, wanting, needing things that maybe they're not even sure about right, they don't yet know. And I think to be successful is to hear, feel and be present with that client.
Speaker 1:It's interesting thing because in yoga, you know, I go into a room and I start teaching and it's it all comes sort of through me, rather than I've thought this all out ahead of time and this is my plan, and it sounds like you do the same thing when it comes to your clients, where there's this you get, you pick something up from the universe and kind of comes through into your hands and ideas, and is that?
Speaker 2:I would say I can relate. I can relate to that. I think the most wonderful thing is whether, if I have clients sitting in front of me and being able to interpret the what the woman is wanting for her engagement ring, what the husband is thinking that he, that his wife would want, and then to hear both stories and translate it and bring it to one, so it really is an honor, a pleasure, to be a part of their lives in such a way as a translator and, you know, clairvoyant. But ultimately it leads to bringing joy and sparkle and living life with the people that trust you the most.
Speaker 1:Do you remember when it first started to happen and you went from you know, being new with this and you were young when you started you can, we'll hear all about that were that magic sort of turned on, where you kind of got into that flow state and you were able to go? Oh yeah, like, do you remember? Do you remember a moment or a client when that happened, or was it just something gradual that happened over time?
Speaker 2:These are great questions and it's it's funny that you mentioned that, because I'll never forget being six years old and I was taken to a trade show with my father and I was put on a chair and he said you know, ask him. In Chinese, cantonese, he goes, ask him what he wants. So I said I said, instead of saying things like how can I help you I think I translated what my father told me to say he says what do you want? But then, in English, I said what is it that you're looking for? And he says well, I don't know, but I want something with my initial on it. I said I can create this for you.
Speaker 1:And you were six.
Speaker 2:I was six, I said, without him translating, without my dad translating, he's like what does he say? I said I got this, I got this. He wants an initial ring. And I'll never forget. He, the gentleman, chuckled and he says you know what I'm looking for? I said let me show you. Let me show you and I think that's how things started was when I was manufacturing, at age six, part of the family business. My father raised me to say what can you do? Show me. You can talk about it all you want, but show me. And so making jewelry is crafting with your hands, and we would manufacture jewelry in our basement. At the time, my father had saved up for machinery, for equipment and for, just like how other children are taken to soccer practice or hockey practice, I was taken to our basement and I would train every day in wax injection, mold making, a casting process, working with a fine torch, and little did I know at that time that I was exercising skill sets that would prepare me for what I do today.
Speaker 1:Wow, such an early age to start and to be so confident.
Speaker 2:At six.
Speaker 1:Or isn't it even confidence at that point is just being so.
Speaker 2:Well, and also in the traditional Asian culture. Mind you, we are. I am first generation. So my family came to the US with the help of missionaries in Hong Kong and they, you know, they came. My parents came to America for a better life and at a time during the Cultural Revolution in China, where had no education, had no, they could. Everything that you earn, you worked for and earned was easily taken away from you by the government. And when they escaped China, missionaries in Hong Kong were stationed to help people like my father and many other families to come to the States for better opportunity, where you could work, keep what you earn and dream the dream. And as long as you show up and work, it's attainable. So I think to have such inspiration from my father, from my aunt, from my uncle. There was just no other way of living. That was just the way that we were trained to be. If you dream it, it'll happen.
Speaker 1:That's so cool. I think so many people forget that they feel like they're entitled. You know the immigrant story. My family is the same way and you know it's sort of bred into you. This is what you do. You work hard, you show up and this is how it goes. But so much of America is like well, what are you going to do for me?
Speaker 2:Well, I guess my father would have said if you eat, you work. And I was a hungry little girl until this day. So like my snacks, so I better keep going.
Speaker 1:That's it. Now was he a jeweler in Hong Kong.
Speaker 2:I come from a long line of jewelers. I'm the fourth generation.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 2:During the Cultural Revolution we had, my family, had escaped communist China. So they my grandfather took his gold. He would during the winter season when the weather was cold. That was his opportunity to escape China. So he would wear a layer of jacket, layer the gold, wear another jacket and continue to layer the gold. And when the government would come and tax in the morning and then tax in the evening, they just knew that that wasn't a way to raise their family. So my grandfather made that decision to leave behind his five children, his wife, and to cross over to Hong Kong for the opportunity for new beginnings and to make a living. And then couriers would bring back earnings to support the family in China.
Speaker 2:So, once you escape, it's difficult to go back, and so the jewelry line went from China to Hong Kong. And when my father escaped from China to Hong Kong and had the opportunity to come to the United States, when he first came he worked for a nickel an hour.
Speaker 2:A nickel an hour and by the grace of another American jeweler. My father worked during the day at a Chinese restaurant cooking and that was not his forte at the time, but he would ask to pay $200 a month and at that time it's a lot of money 200 a month to just ask if he could watch this American jeweler make jewelry. And he would just watch and soon he saved up enough money for equipment, and that equipment we would purchase and have in our basement and we would work away in our basement.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, wow, wow. And how long does it take for your grandfather to bring over your grandmother and the five kids?
Speaker 2:Oh, so we have been in America for 40 years.
Speaker 1:No, no. From China to Hong Kong.
Speaker 2:We couldn't go that route. You know, like my grandfather, because he owned the business in China, he crossed over to Hong Kong one time, Because once you go, it's known that he won't be back to see his wife and the children, my father, his brothers, his friends. They would swim from China to Hong Kong and that's how they escaped their country.
Speaker 1:And what about your grandmother?
Speaker 2:So when missionaries were stationed in Hong Kong from the US, there were missionaries stationed in Hong Kong to receive the refugees coming in, because they knew that during the time of Cultural Revolution, the people of China that educated the entrepreneurs, they were being mistreated, right, you, if you were educated, if you had your own business, that was taken away from you, no matter how hard you worked, no matter how you strove for higher education, to teach, to bring good to other people. The government was quite afraid at that time, right, and there was that turn of the Cultural Revolution. So missionaries were stationed in Hong Kong. My father escaped from China to Hong Kong and they said you are now coming to America and where would you like to reside? And out of all places, they said well, they said first. They asked him, they said, well, where would you like to live? And he goes I just want a place to raise my family, make an honest living and be peaceful. And they said you must move to Livonia, michigan.
Speaker 1:Not too, not too random.
Speaker 2:But it honestly it's. It was an amazing upbringing. So here we are. Here we are, my father, you know, gathers, all his friends, everyone that made it through and said we're all going to Livonia, michigan. So that's how we came to America and, through the naturalization process, coming to America, establishing, earning a job, then we slowly began to process paperwork for my grandmother, my grandfather and our relatives to come through.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, what a story. And then did you end up all living together for a while in the same house.
Speaker 2:Oh, Brian, did we ever?
Speaker 1:No three generations in the same house.
Speaker 2:So it's very humble beginnings. I came to America with no shoes because, you know, my parents did the best they could.
Speaker 1:And they.
Speaker 2:You know. No, there was no Facebook or Google where you could say, hey, how can we parent? So I made that journey with cold feet. I was quite young. They were still able to carry me over by plane, of course, and but we did. We lived in a 1500 square foot home. There was always about 15 people living together. I remember growing up with bunk beds that were built in the room so that these two sets of bunk beds were side by side, fit perfectly so that we could fit the six kids in one room.
Speaker 1:So you have five siblings.
Speaker 2:Oh no, these were cousins. These were cousins and at that time the census in Livonia was 98% Caucasian and that 2% was other. And I always joked quite candidly that the 2% other was my family and the Indian family down the street. So we would have Chapsuli versus Curry.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:But it's all in good humor.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely no nothing.
Speaker 2:We've had such great experiences from Livonia.
Speaker 1:Nothing negative here at all I mean it's.
Speaker 1:You know, I live in a 1200 square foot home. It's myself, my wife and my daughter and we feel like we're busting out at the seams and we need another bathroom and we need more storage space because we have too much crap and a typical American thing right now. And my father, on the other hand, grew up very poor. He said that when he was a kid and they needed school supplies, they would go to the store and after they closed and get the ripped books and the broken pencils because that's all they could afford. And my grandfather had a duplex and one side of the duplex was a renter and in the attic he had a still because he was making moonshine and his I think, I think his my grand, my dad's grandparents lived with them for a while. And my mom said the same thing the grandmother lived with them for a while and it was just normal.
Speaker 1:If my parents had to live with me now, I'd shoot myself. There's no God. I'd live in a tent in the backyard. I couldn't handle it.
Speaker 2:You know, and speaking to that, maybe that's why I love being in community, because I grew up in community. I had my cousins, my uncle, my aunt, my grandmother, my grandfather, and there was just always people around you and even though we were in close quarters, we inside it allowed for us to live outside, and I think that's why I have such appreciation for nature and outdoor activities, and Well, you probably have a depreciation for a long time.
Speaker 2:A long time as well. But what did? But why did we all have to live together? Was we all had to work together to make it our home right and to make a living, because at that time it was a nickel, a diamond hour and it had a basement, and the basement became the workshop for manufacturing for us for jewelry.
Speaker 1:And was the whole family involved in that, or was it just you and your father?
Speaker 2:Well, I was an only child for nine years, so it was you and your father for the most part.
Speaker 2:It was myself, my father myself, like I remember we would build a bench together and he had never used power tools before. I don't think he grew up with woodworking in China. We put, I remember we built a bench, our workbench, and you have four legs to a table. And he's telling me Wendy, hold the leg, I'll screw in the tabletop. He screwed in one. He goes, hold it tighter. And I'm like, okay, I'm holding it. So we put the four legs to a table, we step back and the whole thing just collapses on the floor. I don't know. So this day I'll never build my own bench. I won't.
Speaker 1:That's hysterical, but you were like six.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good days the good days. And I think I'm still six at heart, but a little wiser. But that's how we began. We would build. If it didn't work the first time, we would keep trying. Soon we with wax injection, we made wax carving, jewelry repair, we would have. We created a full line production in our basement. I'm amazed at how my father was able to accomplish something, not speaking the English language, not having a Google resource, but just by seeing, observing and having the American dream. I think that's phenomenal to me.
Speaker 1:That's pretty amazing. That's pretty amazing. And you said I remember you told me a story once that out of a bar of soap you were making your first carvings, your first designs. I was, and you were what like six, seven years old, right.
Speaker 2:I was, it was around that time. So to train. I didn't have toys growing up because we would work often, but we would have bars of soap and you would hand carve and practice hand carving. So you would start with Irish spring because it's firmer, and once you learned your strength now, brian, you would elevate to dove. Oh, my God Softer on the skin, but it would emulate the jewelry wax, which was considerably more expensive than the soap. So, my first carving was a cat. I did.
Speaker 1:And what's interesting to me too is you stuck with it. I mean sometimes kids when they feel like they're sort of forced into labor, I suppose at a young age, indentured servitude, they want to run from it as far away as possible. But you stuck with it and you still love it. But I can see it in your face.
Speaker 2:You know, I think in the beginning I don't think you have a choice. You know, if you're hungry you work.
Speaker 2:And and we had a lot of mouths to feed and the pressure was real. I would see my parents work. My dad would work his restaurant job in the morning. We would look forward to him coming home and we would begin work. He would eat dinner. You know what? My mom would have a towel to help him wash up his face. Then we would go downstairs and that was our bonding time. Yeah, wendy and dad time Right.
Speaker 1:But even now, as an adult, though I mean, you probably had other choices. You could have moved on to other things, and you stuck with this.
Speaker 2:I guess so, but I think when I was 16 years old Well, I think, growing up with the business, it was mandatory you would go to work. Go to school, did I say go to work.
Speaker 1:Go to school, then go to work.
Speaker 2:I didn't repeat. But then I also wanted to play sports right and so I tried to live the American lifestyle of sports, friends, education, but yet honor my family with their business and contributing to our family and financially. So when I was 16 and I took a few high school classes, and when you're 16, like my son is 15 now you know everything.
Speaker 1:My daughter's 13. She knows everything. I'm the biggest idiot in the house.
Speaker 2:And when I was 16, I took a marketing class, I took a government class and a drafting class and I approached my father and I said, yeah, I feel that our business could improve if we just made these simple changes. And he listened and he didn't like that. Asian father did not like that. So I kept it. I said, please just consider these changes. And he wouldn't hear it and he, finally, he was so upset that I was challenging his, his ways. He he one day said, wendy, if you think you can do it better, go do it on your own. Go do it on your own, ok. Well, that could be seen in so many different ways to a 16 year old.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 2:So because of that, I said, ok, I will do it on my own. And so, through some creativity and the fun things that you can do, growing up in the 90s, when I feel that we could rule the streets if we wanted to, right, we had a lot of freedoms I think, more freedoms as teenagers back in the day.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:So I did what a girl had to do and I took his advice. He told me if I could do it better, go do it on my own. So I had an opportunity to start my own company. It may have included a few credit cards under my parents' name. It could have included dial up internet, maybe filling out a few documents, because we would always translate and fill out documents for our family because we were the translator Right. So it's just things I've been doing, but on the legal side, now in the business. So I'll never forget that. Following few months, I showed up at a trade show in Las Vegas and it's the largest trade show in the world for July, and you were 16.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was 16.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ok. So with this, credit card For those of you listening. Do you remember what you were doing at 16? Probably not going from Livoni, Michigan, to Las Vegas by yourself, I'm assuming.
Speaker 2:Oh dear goodness. So I had filled out documents, I had gotten the credit card, aol Dial-up to buy the plane ticket, and then I stayed at I'll never forget Imperial Palace, the Imperial Palace in Vegas. I flew in and I go into the lobby of I think this was at the convention center, was at MGM at the time, the MGM convention center, pretty big, pretty big convention center, and I'll never forget. I ran into my in the lobby and this is the world's largest trade show. You know, every country has thousands of manufacturers, jewelers that come to attend this trade show. And in the lobby I walk up and I was dressed like Ali McBeal. This is where I learned to dress and speak like a lawyer. So here it is. I come up the stairs, I'm at registration and who do I run into? Brian? Who do I run into?
Speaker 1:Your father.
Speaker 2:Yeah, smoke, smoke coming from his, maybe his head, maybe radiating fire. Then there's my mother. Oh hello, they didn't know you were coming.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I didn't think I was going to run into them, Brian.
Speaker 1:Well, where did they think you were going to be for two weeks or a week, or wherever?
Speaker 2:You know we had a lot of freedom growing up.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:So you know, I didn't think that they were going to. We were going to run into and it's the world. If they were going to be there, it's the world's largest show. Who, who would you run into? But my mom was trying to make peace. She goes. So do you want to meet up for lunch later? My father wouldn't speak a word to me. Well, but that was a trade show that changed my life.
Speaker 1:And do you remember selling your first piece?
Speaker 2:I was there to network. I was there to pursue the business ideas that I had and I had proposed to my father that he had rejected. He said it wouldn't work, he said it was terrible, he said it was an awful idea. So I thought differently and he didn't say no. He didn't tell me no. So he said go do it on your own. So that show was there for networking. I was there to be a buyer, but I was 16. And I had a limited credit card because it was. I was like a signee and I realized there that when I went to each of the vendors that I wanted to see and I shook hands with them and I selected the merchandise that I wanted, I shook hands, I told them where I was from and with every handshake they gave me merchandise on credit, brian.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:And each handshake I would bring back $65,000. Second handshake I got a little more confident $85,000 worth of merchandise and by the fifth handshake it was up to a hundred some thousand and I said I just maybe not shake any more hands the rest of this show.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. I mean I as an adult would not give a 16-year-old much of anything on credit.
Speaker 2:I mean I was dressed like Ali McFeel.
Speaker 1:That's so cool. What an amazing. It wasn't really it was a blessing really. And that's where you got your start. Really, I mean your own start that you created, I did.
Speaker 2:I did, and then at that moment I brought back merchandise and I had to. I can't just sit on it. I had to move it because the clock starts right as soon as I came back. So I found a venue where I could still go to school, and this venue was only open on the weekends Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And I'll never forget going into the office where I said to the owner of this venue. I said I'd like to open a store here, but I can only come in after volleyball practice and on the weekends I have tournaments. I'll come in later in the afternoon, but I'll still be here to open my business A little. Did I know that? Do I sound kind of millennial before my time? So he gave me a chance again and someone else that gave me an opportunity.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:So I'm thankful for that.
Speaker 1:Those are amazing stories.
Speaker 2:And I think it was all about working hard, showing up even when things were tough, because I think as a 16-year-old as a 17-year-old, you're graduating, you're going through some of your best supposedly your best years of your life making your friends, sports, social events, college thoughts but I was focused on building this business, still trying to play volleyball and pretend like I was a regular teenager, right?
Speaker 1:That's pretty amazing. I mean, most teenagers aren't that self-driven. They just don't have that. I mean at 16, I think, even though my grandfather was an immigrant. My father came over from Israel when he was four or something, so he's considered first-generation. And I mean I always worked. I always worked at his drugstore. I always worked at some kind of part-time job, school, I think. My first job was a busboy at 15. I couldn't drive yet, so my mom had to drive me to work and she did. And then I worked on the weekends for my dad. Excuse me, but I never created my own business, not that age anyway. I mean, I just was trying to figure out high school and not get picked on.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of funny stories, and if I were to go back and do it again, I don't even know how I came up with it. I needed a car, so I took driver's training. I had been working since a young age, so I had money for a car. I needed to park the car. I needed to get out of school early, which led to trade school, so I could leave school early, go to trade school and then go to my store.
Speaker 1:And what was the trade school?
Speaker 2:God, it was called the Career Center in Livonia. It was located across the street from Churchill High School, but I learned computer programming there. But what that was helpful for was it taught me how to think logically right. If, then else Repeat. If not, this, and maybe that was learning how to strategize right. If this didn't work, we're going to try this. If this works, repeat. But I would drive 45 miles to go to work there and back. Would I get a lot of speeding tickets? Did I get into some accidents? But I would talk my way in. I would appear in court, represent myself that way too. But that's another story.
Speaker 1:We'll do that for series two.
Speaker 2:But I think I felt like I had to work because I saw the struggles of my family, because we needed the income right and you were still contributing to your family, even though your father had sort of Exed off to me yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I felt like maybe I did that for his approval, brian. Maybe I felt, maybe it was ingrained in me since I was a young age because I saw how we had to work so hard collectively to feed a large family. Our meals are communal, like our meals are family style, right, you have your dishes and grandma would cook, and everyone had to chip in to make things work. And maybe I just didn't want to fail. I didn't, I couldn't, it wasn't even an option. And at that time I then had a sister, right, she's nine years younger, but I felt like I had to contribute because I didn't want my family to have hard times. And then I think what leads, I think what also continued, was I felt like I was meeting client needs, what I thought the industry needed. It was true, they needed quality jewelry at affordable pricing. And when I took that government class, mr Gobble, he said the most underserved class is the lower to middle class.
Speaker 2:And when you think of fine jewelry maybe you think of elaborate pieces, you think of high ticket prices. Some people it seems unattainable. And my Chinese culture, in the Middle Eastern European, in those cultures they celebrate with the gift of gold, maybe baptism, communion, birthdays, kinsenieras for the sweet 15. But gold is an everyday practice. So I wanted to bring everyday luxury to common people, to everyday people where your dreams are attainable. So I went to this market and I had gorgeous high-end jewelry from these vendors around the world Brian, fine Italian gold, the finest diamonds. But because I had negotiated at these prices and shook hands for the volume and I just had to let things go and sell them, there was a demand and I had learned how to speak Spanish so I can meet the Hispanic clientele. I learned the Middle Eastern culture so I can service with the wedding bridal sets. The auto industry supported my little business tremendously. They would invest in gold and if they asked for something, I would be the yes person. Yes, I have it.
Speaker 2:And if I didn't have it, I could get it for you by next week. So because I felt like they needed me and I made a difference in their lives, I think it became this cycle of now, this word called kinsieres.
Speaker 1:That's an amazing story. It really is, thank you. It's a great story and when you live it it's probably like whatever it's my life, but it's really a phenomenal story of entrepreneurship and just success. And so now, three decades in 30 years in. I know we can't be that old to say three decades about anything, right, not when we're still 25. But what's your business? Look like now.
Speaker 2:The business has evolved, but yet strangely familiar at the same time, and how things have been. A challenge for me was my parents. I realized that my parents worked all the time, so much that they were away from our childhood. They didn't go to our games, our school functions, just we my sister and I. We raised ourselves in each other.
Speaker 2:When I started having children in my 30s, I have to admit, I didn't feel the need to go see my son at his games. I would be working. And I'll never forget. When he was six years old, he said to me Mom, I don't need the gifts, I don't need things bought for me, I just want you to be here. He was six. He told me that and then I had mixed feelings. I thought he was ungrateful. I thought how could we have all these things? So how has it evolved? Is how to be, how to run a company where you're present for your family. That's so against how I was raised. To be present, Sure, how to raise your family, have the balance with your self-love and time to be whole and to be present for other people to meet their needs, so that you can have a business to go back to support your family.
Speaker 1:That is such a hard thing. My father was the same way. He was gone six days a week, often seven. He'd get up before we got up and he'd get home right about the time we were going to bed, so he wasn't there for games and hockey and all the things we did. And I always wanted to make sure that I was not a better father, but that I approached it differently than he did, by being present for my daughter, and luckily I can. But it's a very tough juggle because as an entrepreneur your next paycheck comes pretty much from the work of your own hands and your mind and the efforts that you make. It doesn't just happen mysteriously out of the ether. You can't go all right. I'm just going to $10,000, $10,000, $10,000.
Speaker 2:We haven't quite, no, it just quite doesn't happen quite yet.
Speaker 1:No, no, there has to be some effort involved, Because the reality is that I'm sure you've found that if you had worked harder, you would have more money to some degree. But then how much do you need?
Speaker 2:It's true, that's valid. So when I was 33, I was faced with these challenges. I wasn't batting hundreds, brian, I wasn't being a good wife, I wasn't being a good mother and I wasn't being good to my business. If I gave something 60% of my attention, then the other two categories would be faltering, and if I tried to juggle one or the other, it was never perfect, right. Something would be let down, something would happen. So to juggle that, I had to choose what's important and that moment I knew I had to choose my family.
Speaker 1:And were you the primary income earner at the time.
Speaker 2:At the time, yes, because I was 33. And the business itself has survived three major economic downturns in Michigan we had the housing decline. We had the automotive industry decline, we had a recession. We've had COVID. Tell me about it. It's a lot of triumph and trial. But in the 30s I decided I had to choose my family Because if I didn't choose, I knew I had to start inside. Change had to start from within and that's choosing my family. To choose my family meant letting go full retail, to let go of full retail but still raise your family. At this young age I had to go private client and at that time it was a new concept. It meant making appointments with your clients. It meant not showing up, not working the 90 to 120 hours a week. I didn't know how to do that. I was mad to be home to do laundry and make dinner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a tough thing to turn off.
Speaker 2:But I did it so that I could be there for my son.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I did it so I could be there for my son and to potentially save a marriage.
Speaker 1:And do you feel, do you think that today there's still sort of the stereotype of it's the man's job to provide and it's the man's job to do that work, whereas it's the woman's job? I mean this is very 1950s thinking, but I think there's still some wisps of that today, whereas I mean I know I'm expected to help out more at home than my father ever did and I want to when I do, and I know there's things that I want to do for my family, with my family that my father never did. But in his head he was doing his role and my wife, my wife, my mother, always figured that was his role. Now she always complained that he was never around. But at the same time, when he retired and was around all the time, she's like what are you doing here? You have to go away and go do something. That was just their thing.
Speaker 1:But for me, with my wife and daughter, it feels like I have a job and part of the job is to be the primary income earner and do the heavy lifting, and my wife takes care of so much more of the other stuff. But for you, as the primary income earner and the primary caregiver for your children, because you're the mom I mean. To a certain age you have to be their primary caregiver. That's even twice as much pressure. Now, yeah, there's the oh yeah. Women can do anything, women can do everything, but you don't have to do everything if you don't want to. And to turn that off, that's an interesting. Not turn it off, but maybe make a life decision, right. Thank you, хотяib.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't think I would have jumped ship without having analyzed and known what the business that I had built, Just selling the retail business. When I showed I didn't realize how successful the business was because I just worked.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You just keep your head down. My father always said don't be the nail that sticks up. You're going to get hammered down. You just keep your head down. You keep working.
Speaker 2:I never took the time to count the dollar, because maybe it wasn't the dollar. The dollar I knew was innately the reward to do good, to do what you say you're going to do and do it and follow up. Maybe because it became like a cycle the training, then the reward came. I never thought about the dollar and it was never about gender, because it was just an innate sense of responsibility, because when you have a big family, everyone's working together. There's no man or woman. We're all human and we all show up to do what we need to do, to get things done Run a family, run a business, put food on the table.
Speaker 2:I don't feel that I grew up with gender difference. This is a woman's role. This is a man's role. I'm chipped in. I like that because I didn't realize at the time that I was running a top producing company in a male dominated industry. I didn't know that. I do remember fellow colleagues standing there observing while the store was busy and we were all working. I do realize that I was speaking to men as my colleagues, but I guess I never noticed the difference because we were all in the same industry, doing the same thing. When you keep your head down and you're not comparing yourself to others, everyone comes down to the same objective. You're there to work. But in my sense I wasn't calling it work. I was just operating as a sense of responsibility.
Speaker 1:I find it really interesting that a lot of times people make change when they're sick and tired of being sick and tired and they're like I have to do something different. This is killing me and whatever. A lot of times the change happens when the cancer patient gets the doctor says, oh, you've got cancer, oh, I'll stop smoking now. Or the alcoholic has their bottom bottom and they finally change, or the whatever. I mean. We're motivated for whatever reasons, to do the things that we do and live the lives we live. But then when we realize, okay, I have to make a change now.
Speaker 1:For me, when I left real estate and came up with the money to be a yoga teacher and run a yoga studio, it was the hardest thing I ever did. At no point was I. I hadn't had a heart attack, I hadn't had cancer, I hadn't had a bad lawsuit, but I felt like that was the only way I could justify leaving. That choice was very hard because I didn't have something to hang my head on and go. Well, look, I had cancer, I've come to Jesus, I'm going to go do whatever. I didn't have that. I didn't hit a wall, but I thought I was heading towards one real fast. That's a very hard thing to do because you can't tell the world. This is why I'm doing it. It's very personal yeah.
Speaker 2:When I can't even imagine what you went through, because it's not easy. Maybe you found identity and purpose through your work.
Speaker 1:It was everything. Well, you do this. I think you do know what it's like. I think you're one of the very few people that do know what it's like.
Speaker 2:I do. I'm going to just lay it right here and be completely honest here. I think at 33, I felt like I hit a wall and I sucked. I sucked For someone who likes perfection and when things come whole, nothing was coming whole, brian. I said, just let me focus. What can I let go? Then I even at that point, didn't even realize that where I was sucking, but what I was sucking at was taking care of me.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What's here and what's here. It was at such a divide. Here is all financial, how to operate a family, your business. Here it was empty, maybe hollow and just working for purpose, just to keep going Like a soldier who keeps fighting a battle because he's on the field.
Speaker 1:What do you think that motivation was? What was your motivation to work that hard, single-mindedly, focused at this thing? What's the thing that got you up every day and pushed you forward?
Speaker 2:I didn't know anything better. I didn't know anything different. We were raised I always laugh because I never had to do chores growing up. I wasn't raised to be a good keeper of the home. But I tell you, I can make a beautiful diamond ring. I can make people smile, I can make people happy and hear what they need and deliver. It just becomes like a remote mind exercise. I feel like with my industry. Even when I'm 80 years old, I'll still look at you, brian, and be dressed you from head to toe in diamonds and gold. It just becomes a language or muscle memory and that just keeps you up.
Speaker 2:But during my hardest times, brian, I was scared because I couldn't get up, I couldn't produce. That happens in cycles, I think. Even now in my 40s, even very recently, brian, I became scared because when I woke up I would feel lost. I didn't want to, but when I start talking to a client, I'd be happy. I always say what's good therapy is. There's no better therapy than to put on your jewelry in the morning, put your warrior earrings on, do the macarena, your bracelets, your necklaces, your earrings. That feels good. However, sometimes you have to wake up and I think what my five-year-old teaches me is you've got to live, and you find out how to live by following the rigorousness of a five-year-old who gets up and one day he wanted to make banana bread at seven in the morning.
Speaker 1:Okay, Right In your head you're going. Okay, I have to go to work.
Speaker 2:I think what's the best thing about it is you asked me earlier how did it evolve? How did things change? I think, with every challenge that the world faces with the economy, things that we cannot control, things that are beyond our control, when things like that create such a strong dichotomy, a strong stop, a hard stop in your life, it allows us to stop and pause and reprogram. With COVID, what had helped was when I started private client 10 years ago. It was unheard of my colleagues would laugh and say you're going to meet with clients only when you want to or only when they're available and they set a time. When you're done, you're going to go home.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's kind of what I'm going to do.
Speaker 2:During those seven years I was fortunate enough to have earned the trust and confidence from the clients. Years prior it was all by referral. The world shut down. My hometown of Rochester, or a local town, suddenly realized where do we go? When the world was shut down, they'd say can you come to my home, can you come here? Can you still do this? But my company was very much operating. We were still working. We never stopped in those years, brian. That's how I came to Rochester.
Speaker 2:The most rewarding aspect of the business now is by appointment only. The clients contact me. They ask I am able to provide a service, but yet I can lock the door and go pick up my children, go see a soccer game, even run a personal errand or have a yoga session. That is amazing to have that balance. I think back when my dad said to the missionary I just want a town to live in where I can raise my family, make an honest living and be peaceful. I can't believe that. He said that in Hong Kong when he was 20. I'm just learning how to do that here in America, in Rochester, michigan, at age 40-something.
Speaker 1:Okay, guys, 29, again 29 again no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I think you know, I know that every day doesn't feel like it's all you know sunshine and roses and perfect balance. But for somebody who's in this particular kind of business, doing what you're doing, I mean I think what you've achieved is incredible and you really did it on your terms. And I know you know half the time it comes from falling and skinning your knees and you know walking into walls and going what did I do? But at the same time, you know, when you look back, you did it and sure you had help and sure you had all these things, and nobody, you know, nobody likes a braggart, but I'm really so impressed with everything you've accomplished.
Speaker 1:It's very hard to do what you've done and most can't, most feel stuck, most feel obligated, most feel a whole host of things and it's really really impressive. And the thing is, too is like when you talk about what you do and the people you do it, for you know there's not good days and there's days you don't want to get a bad and there's hard times. That goes with everything. You know it's not all again sunshine and roses. Yet when you talk about your clients and what you do and how you do it and the way you approach it, it's still such a piece of your heart. I think you'll probably be doing this till you're 90.
Speaker 2:I do have a five year old, but it's an honor. It's an honor to live life, you know, with the good people of our town that support our small businesses. And I would be nothing without people on my team, my family that understands that we all need to work together, my friends that understand that sometimes I have good intentions of going out. Sometimes life gets tired. My friends that still love me, and you know it all comes together and it comes about a community who support one another.
Speaker 1:That's awesome. What's the name of your business?
Speaker 2:It's Wendy Tavari fine jewelry, and Tavari is named after my three gems. It's a combination of the names of the boys, so Tyler, evan and Henry makes.
Speaker 1:Tavari. So how do you spell Tavari?
Speaker 2:T-E-V-A-R-I.
Speaker 1:All right. So Wendy Tavari, fine gems, do you have social media presence at all?
Speaker 2:I could use a little help. I could use a little help, but you can find me on Facebook and on Instagram. And more goodness to come.
Speaker 1:And it's wendytavarifinejewelerycom.
Speaker 2:WendyTavaricom.
Speaker 1:WendyTavaricom. All right, cool, very cool, and you have a location. Where are your stores?
Speaker 2:In downtown Rochester at 140 East University Drive, so Rochester local.
Speaker 1:Awesome, that's phenomenal. Anyway, everybody buy her jewelry. It comes from an amazing human being and you know, look, you can. You know when something's made by a store and something's made by a true artisan craftsman, there's a difference. Her work's the difference. So, Wendy, congratulations. Thank you for being here. It's my joy and pleasure, Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you to listening to my story. Thank you.
Speaker 1:My pleasure. It's a great story. Bye, everybody, no.