Before You Cut Bangs
Hosted by Laura Quick and Claire Fierman, “Before You Cut Bangs” is full of hilarious conversations about real life, common and uncommon crises, and possible cosmetic errors that come along with it. Through storytelling and therapeutic wisdom, Claire and Laura share how to NOT fuck up your hair (and life) while walking through similar situations,
Produced by Will Lochamy
Before You Cut Bangs
2.3 Avoiding the Holiday Drama, Y’all
Now that Halloween is over the real spooky season begins for some of us as we step into the holiday gathering season with our families. We are rolling out three ways to approach conversations you don’t want to have (again) and talking through the ones you want to avoid altogether. This episode is all about taking care of yourself and still showing up and enjoying even the most awkward of family gatherings. Let’s eat the turkey, kiss the babies, and avoid the drama!
Welcome to, before you Cut Bangs. I'm Laura Quick and I'm Claire Fehrman. I am a professional storyteller and I'm currently working on my first book.
Speaker 2:I have worked in mental health for many years in lots of capacities and this is a really important time to tell you our big disclaimer this is not therapy. We are not your therapists or coaches or anything like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean you shouldn't really trust us very much at all. Unless you want to and it turns out well, then you can trust us. That's great.
Speaker 2:I think I can't introduce it because I don't have good experience with this, but what we're talking about is those crazy aunts and silly uncles and wacky grandmas that ask you uncomfortable, inappropriate questions during the holidays. So we'll talk about how to exit conversations, engage in conversations and, I guess, keep your self-worth through the holidays.
Speaker 1:Try to maintain some of those personal boundaries, um, but we're kicking it off with just just a fun story. So a couple weeks ago maybe, like a month or so ago, I went on a girl's trip to Highlands, north Carolina, and I was over, served wine at the Airbnb, as one does, and earlier before dinner we had made a cheese tray and I went to the refrigerator while we were playing Farkle it's like me and three other girlfriends and I don't the refrigerator while we were playing farkel. It was like me and three other girlfriends and I don't even. I've never even heard of farkel, but it was so fun and it was probably fun, cause you're like a little intoxicated. But I went to the refrigerator alone and opened the fridge and there was a cheese tray. I pulled out a hunk of cheese, I took a bite and there was a human tooth in it. No, a human tooth in it, no, a human tooth.
Speaker 1:And I start, actually, and I start imagining the worst case scenario. So one of my friends, sarah, is an actual hypochondriac. Sarah, if you're listening, to stop listening right now, actually too late. So I was like I can't tell them. I can't tell them this because someone has died at the cheese factory. I don't actually know how cheese makes it into those cute blocks, but I know something had to happen and from the time I was mortified at the refrigerator, I'm making my way back to the sofa to continue the game wait, did your?
Speaker 2:did your teeth touch the teeth tooth?
Speaker 1:no, I like took a bite. I looked down and I'm like oh, my god God there it is. Okay, that's good.
Speaker 1:And then I realized that I had a temporary crown in my mouth and it was my tooth that came out, and so, but in this span, which felt like 15 minutes, was probably like 45 seconds of all these scenarios running through my mind, I didn't tell anyone. I just quietly sat with the alarm of like someone died in the cheese manufacturing plant to. I've got a tiny little black nub in my mouth that's now open because my crown my fake crown is off of it. And so that leads me to my question for y'all When's the last time something weird happened that you didn't tell anybody? You just sat with it? Have you had anything like that happen to you?
Speaker 2:well, oddly enough, this is not my answer, so we can take it or leave it. But my dad had that happen, but it fell in the uh, it was on christmas day, happy holidays. And it fell in in the cute little spode coffee creamer and he's like my tooth is gone and we're all all day coffee creamer. And then I got to the bottom and there it was.
Speaker 1:Oh, so gross. Well, it's like I'm never drinking coffee creamer.
Speaker 2:I didn't know.
Speaker 3:all these teeth are flying out all the time Now this is going to lead us to like the teeth falling out dreams.
Speaker 1:The teeth, sorry the pits.
Speaker 2:The worst, the worst. I'm always missing math class and losing teeth still yeah the nightmares.
Speaker 1:Okay, but now we're talking about family stuff. Like we know, we've heard from you guys that obviously navigating the holidays brings on its own level of anxiety, but one of the things that we want to give you some tools around and funny stories around is just the idea of like everybody's family is different. You might come from a super functional, grounded family, like maybe Claire and Will, who we know is a Labrador retriever and grew up perfectly Love that I don't think we're grounded.
Speaker 2:just to give a caveat.
Speaker 3:Oh okay, there's no such thing as perfect.
Speaker 1:We love when you say that, but we try but it's true. I know it is true. Okay, all right. So let's say functional. Functional does not mean that it's perfect. Functional just means that it's like, it feels good and normal. And there's. What does that mean to you, claire?
Speaker 2:Because I feel like I can't say Ooh, I might regret this, but, like sometimes, like it wouldn't be odd if someone tinkled with the door open. What?
Speaker 1:Excuse me.
Speaker 3:If, like, they went to the restroom and left the door open.
Speaker 1:A child Nope, she's talking about a full grown woman. I would say most of the women.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry. It's like we don't even think about it. It's not like we're walking around naked. I want to be really clear about that. But we're very comfortable and there's no question off limits, but we don't.
Speaker 1:It's like this is taking a real turn for me. Honestly, should I start over? No, definitely we're leaving that Keep going.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying, for me that would have been like Look at Will's face is the best. It was really hard. Um, in my first marriage my ex-husband was like it was really really hard for him, like he didn't care for that at all. It hasn't happened to bobby yet at my parents house, but, um, oh god, she'd kill me.
Speaker 3:I'm your mom? Yeah, well, she's. She's now not within earshot, so Go on.
Speaker 2:My ex-husband walked in on my mother so many times, jane, that it was like it was awful. It happened all the time. One time she just got overheated and she thought we had all left, so she just took all her clothes off to cool off. It was bent over, it was sinking in the kitchen. It was in a bathroom but it was a bathroom off the kitchen at my brother's old house and she's like bent over and it was like, oh nezzy, because that's what we call her. But like they were both so embarrassed they never talked about it again. So like it's not like we sit and disclose everything and discuss everything. We just have fun. We don't freak out about messes. There's six kids when we're all together at the holidays, like we just kind of roll with it. I think instead of grounded it's not like we're all peaceful, it's comfortable.
Speaker 2:It's comfortable, like you can kind of.
Speaker 1:I think that's like really interesting because I love our last holiday together. That's how it felt with our boys. It just felt easy and comfortable and I think it's taken a really long time to get into like a where it doesn't feel like there needs to be an agenda but there's like enough traditions we've been doing together where it just feels easy. And like Clay brought a girlfriend home and like it was just good. Yeah Well, I didn't love that.
Speaker 3:I love the girlfriend but I'm in case she's listening. I really like you, don't worry, not the vegetarian, um no, not the vegetarian.
Speaker 1:That was an annoying friend that he invited without telling me and if you're listening you should know that's inappropriate at this point she could just listen to any episode and have heard that yeah, this is you're the. You're the fourth. That's the fourth episode you've been on ma''am.
Speaker 3:It is actually.
Speaker 2:You need to do some resentment work, laura. All right well.
Speaker 1:I'll be letting go of that. And experiential therapy. I think I need to have a nice talking to with her. All right, Okay, what about you Will? What does it feel like to be in your family during the holidays?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's good, we really enjoy the holidays. I don't go a lot of times to the extended family on one side of my extended family side, just because it was just weird and awkward at times and got political and whatever. I was like, yeah, I'm not going to do that and so I don't want to. So I now sometimes will go to see a couple of people but like Danielle won't go with me and the kids won't go, so I just go for like an hour Because you can handle it.
Speaker 1:You're resilient, yeah. So I just go for like an hour Cause you can handle it.
Speaker 3:You're resilient, yeah. And then I always have uh, you know some which I do legitimately have something on my schedule. I'm like, oh well, it gotta be at this thing at this time. So great to see everyone, and that's what, yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, so if you're not like them, but I do want to come back to that where it is a bit more discombobulated or dysfunctional even and maybe there's a lot of like step parents or that one woman your dad was married to for a long time that you still see, or whatever. I mean truly, I feel like a lot of people have that scenario. That dysfunctional could look like you feel like you need to be alone through the holidays because it's just so hard, or maybe you're not being invited, and I just want to take a second and be really compassionate because I know what that feels like. That sucks, um, but dysfunctional also could look like that it is just could be a really good family that is just politically charged.
Speaker 1:We're walking into this really weird part of life, or we're in the middle of this really weird part of life where the elections in days now if you're listening to this, um, and that people love to talk about the craziest shit, when really it's the holidays and we're supposed to be thankful that we have each other, and so I think that that's a good segue we should talk about what do you do, even if you're from the most traditional, coolest laid-back, comfortable family dynamic, or do you do even if you're from the most traditional, coolest, laid back, comfortable family dynamic, or if maybe you feel like you're on the dysfunctional side? What do you do if somebody asks you something so inappropriate or they are probing you, or a conversation comes up probing you? She's literally a seven-year-old. I can't.
Speaker 2:She's like hi for a good time, okay. So what do we do? Clear, well get. I want to hear an example. All right, so he has, well, yeah so I just realized this.
Speaker 3:So it's not my family, uh, but let's just say one of my wife's families. Just recently so, okay, it's daniel. So recently we met, uh, some of her cousins and I had not met them. We don't see a lot of her family, a ton and they were all super nice, really had, for the most part, a great time, but they just went. Let I'll say it was this. Let's say that I went to auburn, right, and they went to alabama. It's like they came up to me and were like, wow, isn't auburn just the worst piece of crap school ever? Can you imagine any idiot going there? But and not even not asking, just assuming that I had gone to alabama and was like a big Alabama fan.
Speaker 3:The assumption, the assumption, and they just went full steam ahead. And so it was to the point where we had to like, check out and be like, well, this was nice meeting you guys in this different state, but we're going to have to. But it was about the president Maybe. Yes, it could have been about the president.
Speaker 2:We can't just pussyfoot around here. I agree, I Maybe.
Speaker 3:Yes, it could have been about the president, you can't just pussyfoot around here, I know I just uh the stuff. Some of the stuff they said was so egregious I would not even repeat it. Repeat it.
Speaker 1:So okay. So let's just use a political situation. Let's just say you're in a room with your family extended family and someone does that. They walk up to you, assume, not knowing where you are politically, not asking, not being curious, but making an assumption that you must just believe what they believe. And they are so condescending or even downright mean about it, about who they believe and how. If you believe anything other than that you must just be the dumbest person in the world. Where do we go from there?
Speaker 2:what's happening in that scenario? Well, I'm going to just stick with the election piece, because then we'll get into other specifics. But this one's so polarizing like there's no undecided voter right like right now. I mean that would be wild to me they sure say that there are.
Speaker 3:But whatever I know people that don't follow it.
Speaker 1:Or people that don't feel like they have a candidate, which I do think that there is a large part of that. That's just kind of like how do I make a good decision? Because I don't think there's a good decision to make and I have friends that are there that kind of feel like holy shit, I don't feel like I could make a good decision.
Speaker 2:See, I'm making assumptions. I'm voting for. People feel they, they want you to agree. It feels really safe, really comforting. It feels like aligning, and so that's why we do this. There's like this sense of safety.
Speaker 1:If you think what I think, okay so if that happens, so let's say, somebody walks up to you and they're, they're going for it. They're like anybody who's not voting for so-and-so is a real big piece of shit and whatever.
Speaker 3:I just didn't give a direct answer to any of it. I just did a lot of ah, that kind of stuff and never actually said words, just a lot of how about that Kind, that kind of like whatever, and never put sentences together and then would like be like, oh squirrel, look over there and then change the subject, and then, of course, I'd come back. But I would do the same thing over and over until I was just exhausted with it was like hey, we gotta go okay.
Speaker 2:So I think there's three ways and we'll go with yours as the first one. That's like the neutral disengager, right, like there's no firm boundary set. It's more, more, just like interesting. That's something I hadn't thought about before. And what about? What Do I want turkey for dinner? Like you can Are you a turkey person? Or ham? I think there's this big movement of like fuck your family if they don't respect your boundaries.
Speaker 1:Well, and also just generally generationally speaking. You have to understand too, if you're walking into a room and there's three-year-olds but there's also 85-year-olds. There's just a level of involvement that some of them have that the others are not going to, and what we don't want to do is tell you to fuck your family right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we have the will, the neutral disengager, which, if you feel comfortable in that, that's a great thing. We don't have to say everything that pops into our head, okay? The second one is the person that would like engage because they like that and there's nothing wrong with that. Like my uncle is going to engage if someone says something about trump, like he will rip you a new one shamelessly. And I'm just melting in the corner. In fact, my family doesn't listen so I can say this Bobby voted for Trump one time and I was like from the depths of my soul.
Speaker 2:I was like I beg you to never tell my family that Like, if they have a gun to your head, lie, like you cannot ever share. Share that, because my family will they're the open minded liberals, you know that will just like rip you a new one. And I'm like wait, everybody can have a thought so you can engage if you want to engage. And then you have the boundary setter. That's like hey, I'm here for this reason. I really don't feel comfortable talking about this at all.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we have the neutral disengagement, which is kind of will like, ooh, ah, a squirrel. Then we have the direct responder, which is somebody like that's a person who probably doesn't mind debating, even if it won't be educational in nature, Like even if they're not really informed enough to debate.
Speaker 3:Dunning-Kruger effect. Yeah, the less they know, the more they think they know.
Speaker 1:And then there's the third one, which we feel like is the boundary setter right? That's the person who is okay saying hey, I can see that you want to talk about politics. I'm here just to hang out with my family and I'd prefer we not talk about politics. I'm here just to hang out with my family and I'd prefer we not talk about that.
Speaker 2:All of these are based on your distress, tolerance and what you feel like doing, and so, even if two people you have, two debaters that are like comfortable, they're not going to change. No one's going to change your mind at the Thanksgiving table, by the way, but if they are engaging and you're sitting there, I would encourage you, like, if you can't tolerate it, you get up and go wash some dishes or see what it's like, to just like sit there.
Speaker 1:Who cares? Hey, I will say, there's something about increasing your tolerance for discomfort. I mean, I will say I think Will has a really high tolerance.
Speaker 2:He has no interest in it.
Speaker 1:But you have a high tolerance for discomfort because if you can sit there and go, oh, ah, whatever, while they're going on a rant without saying something back. I mean is a big deal.
Speaker 2:That means you have a really big threshold for discomfort, I would put money on his body was like shutting down okay.
Speaker 1:Well, that takes us to this. I feel like we need to talk about another scenario that's come up when we've asked questions. As you go to this holiday and, let's say, you're a 35, 37 year old single female, never been married, and your mom, your dad put a little pressure on you, they're like ready for grandkids, they want you to be married, they're looking, they want you to have the right person, but then also aunts, uncles, cousins, are also joining in in this conversation that, while you can normally avoid it, now all of a sudden there's like 30 set up. There's 30 of them and there's one of you. And that scenario of just like now, when are you gonna get married? And why haven't you're so pretty? Why haven't you met a good person?
Speaker 3:it's so cliche at this point, like all of these things, the when you're gonna have kids and all the personal questions that you'd think like it's a like. Nobody actually says these things anymore. Right, but they do no they do oh, I know I'm sure they do, just to me. It's like from the outside it's like it's an snl skit, like how do they?
Speaker 1:okay. So we were I'm not kidding in new york a couple of months ago, sitting at this beautiful outdoor patio beside these, I'm telling you two of the most gorgeous women I hope they're listening mel charlotte, they literally look like sex in the city characters. Okay, they were talking about how their moms put all this pressure on them and that they were worried because they were going home and they were kind of commiserating about that. So it is something that's still happening. So then, what? What do we do About your moms? Well, about your whole family piling on to this scenario.
Speaker 2:Well, I would just prepare for it, like I just don't think it would be in your interest to be like before I get there. Here's the 17 topics I'm willing to talk about. It's just not, it's going to happen. So prepare for the distress. I mean, if you know that, like Aunt Susie is going to dip into the eggnog and set you up with Ben in the accounting department you know where she's a paralegal or whatever like have some humor around it.
Speaker 2:I mean, this is like the age old thing, and I think I even probably engage in it in this way. Sometimes you just we want to grasp for the obvious when we haven't seen someone for a long time or we don't know them at a deep level. So if I see someone and they're graduating college, I'm of course asking where are you thinking about going to school? You know what your major is going to be and I'm like please stop asking the same question. Every other person, 25 and up, has asked this high schooler. So that's what we do. We like grasp for the low hanging fruit. That's what the holidays are for?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I also think that comes back to like just adjusting your expectations. If you walk in and already know that's what they do to you, they pile on. You can be ready with some funny, quirky comebacks of like actually, guys, I knew you would be asking this. I've already downloaded this app. Swipe on anybody you want to. I can't wait for you to see who's out here. And I will say, like I'm kidding, I mean, maybe that's a bad idea.
Speaker 2:I was the one, to be honest, that ruined the Fearmint holidays. It was always me, because I used to have this like box of perfection, like Christmas needed to do. We had to do it the same way every year the cookies of this, that, and if it went off course, it like really rattled me, which is the whole childhood thing we don't need to get into. But my expectations have adjusted with six kids. I don't have six, I only have two of them, but six kids are there under 10. It's not going to look the same and there are things that I can expect. It's going to be loud, it's going to be messy. My mom still wants to use the china and silver that you have to hand wash and while it's beautiful, I'm like so the seven-year-old does not give a shit that she's eating on the china and you know who's washing it me, I mean with everybody else. And then when we, after we've hand washed it, after the silver is soaked, do y'all know what you do after you dry? Hand dry your silver?
Speaker 3:I do not you count it?
Speaker 2:yes, you have to, because you have to count it.
Speaker 2:Make sure you have every piece before you put it back up and the velvet box in the velvet box, you have to, okay, and if you're not from the south, it's what we do, okay, so, like I just adjusted my expectations, no matter what I say, we are using this china. It is so special to her and this is just such a blip on our radar, like these are blips on your radar and I'm I'm feel like most people saying this stuff are telling you set a boundary, disengage, don't go. And I think what we're telling you is like lighten up a little bit.
Speaker 1:Lighten up or hey, bring some like boxed up content that you are willing to talk about. I love to just be like hey, you know what, what, what are you hopeful for for the rest of this year? Like are you going anywhere? Cool for the rest of this year, are you taking a trip? Okay, that, that one's good, never correct me guys that first one both of us have visceral reactions.
Speaker 1:You know how we are, I know, and I think it's really holding y'all back in life honestly, but I mean, where are you going on your next trip? Or hey, what's the last trip that you went on that you loved? Can you give me a list like?
Speaker 3:except the list part. But yeah, everything else is good right?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah. Or you know how. About grocery prices? You know we have all kinds.
Speaker 1:You know you can talk about, you can always talk about the weather with anyone of almost any age.
Speaker 2:Unless they're under, like seven, they don't care and if someone brings up trump, just bring up alabama football.
Speaker 1:It's been a rough season that will derail them immediately and I think that that's a really good thank you thing to realize. No, truly, because if you're not comfortable with this subject, it's okay to change to a different controversial subject that you don't care as much about. Like, if you don't, yeah, care, throw out football. They'll talk about it incessantly, especially if you're in the south, for sure, but like what else? What's another subject that you can throw out?
Speaker 3:yeah, I don't mind that idea of throwing out a different, like controversial yeah, or something that'd be fun to talk about yeah, so like, obviously, travel is a good one, it's easy.
Speaker 1:Almost everybody has done it to some degree. Kids you can always talk about kids, oh yes, not controversial, but people love them ask about their kids. Ask about, uh, your nieces, your nephews, the grandkids. If you have kids, start talking about your kids like it's a great segue, subject change and like you can always talk about positive things about other people's children and back to those nice ladies that you saw, those beautiful women, the more we so connecting and like commiserating is a really nice place to start.
Speaker 2:Like you get to go unload that in this safe, fun place and then don't take that in with you. If you come in like ruminating on it, like bracing for impact, you're gonna have a bad time and so find a place to put it. I bitch about my mom on a podcast. Have a bad time and so find a place to put it. I bitch about my mom on the podcast. You know like I find safety here and then we have a great relationship. But really like mom and I don't get along all the time but like I go deal with it, change my expectations and enjoy the parts that I can. Y'all they're enjoyable pieces in families, not all, I mean. I know I have to give goddamn disclaimers all the time, but hold on.
Speaker 1:There is even in the dysfunctional ones. I have a family group text with just my siblings and it is hilarious and they're always sharing like the craziest shit. My brother literally text last night about some stuff I could never say publicly that my dad did, but ultimately it's funny and it's also a safe place. They know that we get it, we understand and so you can say whatever you need to. But when we see them at the holidays, which obviously have a four hour limit probably on how long I can spend with them for the whole year but I'm going to see them and I'm going to make the decision before I see them for that hour and a half, two hours that it's going to be a good time and I'm going to keep the subject matter light. I'm not going to talk about anything that makes me uncomfortable, I'm going to keep it like oh, you've got a new tractor, love that for you.
Speaker 2:I think that's great. My friend Will knows how to drive one of those Yep.
Speaker 1:You know, my friend Will almost died under a big tractor Tractors are dangerous.
Speaker 3:I like that answer, laura. I mean definitely just being like hey look, I'm doing this and it's going to be okay, because I'm going to just make it okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I stay, okay, everything's okay. But if you don't stay, okay, if you go in with the anxiety of what might happen, me and my sister always call each other and we run down the five things, the worst case scenario that could possibly happen with our family.
Speaker 2:God y'all love a list.
Speaker 1:But listen, when it doesn't happen, we're always like damn, that was really good. Because, like I think, if you just dump out the craziest shit, that could possibly happen and then when it doesn't, you're like you know I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's go back to those lovely ladies in New York and I like what they did. So they went to dinner before both going to see their mom. So you get to connect, commiserate and dump. Okay. My hope for them is that they got to go home without carrying that energy. Like that's the hope, right Is we have this safe place to contain our bullshit. Okay, with someone we can like, laugh, vent to, and then you get to go home and leave it, or go visit mom, go visit dad, go do whatever without carrying the ick with you well, and they definitely left not carrying the ick because we interrupted their dinner and had them talk to us about it too, but I do think they were.
Speaker 1:Healthy friendship looks like you dump it all out and then you leave it. You don't sit in it forever. That's the whole point. Don't forget your friends that maybe come from more dysfunctional backgrounds or maybe they're not going to see their family, even if their family just lives really far away. This is a great time to invite somebody into your space and let them see you're kind of crazy Cause we all have a little crazy around the holidays and you'll be with Claire polishing silver If, if you come to the Fairmans.
Speaker 2:I don't polish I just dry it and count it All right.
Speaker 3:So I was in a lunch meeting recently and this lady said y'all, the other day I realized all of my silver is gone. Nothing else from her house, just all of her silver. $ gone, nothing else from her house, just all of her silver. Fifteen thousand dollars worth of silver. I said I was like, look, I don't think someone broke into your house and took that.
Speaker 1:I was like this is someone you know, ma'am, I was like someone was in your house.
Speaker 3:While you were like, you were aware that they were in your house and it could have been who's she having over?
Speaker 1:you know, that's what I'm saying. Like which one of your family members was it insured? I don't think so it should be a rider on your policy. But also you need to know there's always what about a cousin that's just really mad that you got grandma silver it?
Speaker 2:could have been.
Speaker 3:Now she's this lady's like 75, 80. It could have been insured, I don't know, but she definitely was pretty distraught about it. So we spent the rest of that lunch meeting like going over cameras and I was like I'll come and install them for you.
Speaker 1:Of course you said that because I would. I don't we know, I know that's the best part, but also here's what was going to happen.
Speaker 3:She was just going to call a security company and then spend fifteen thousand dollars on a bunch of I mean.
Speaker 1:I'm making that number up, but she was going to get I mean I don't know I think we legit have have spent like it is insanely expensive to have cameras installed. My brother helped us, which has been great, but also like the alarm that goes off and stuff. I was like you don't need that.
Speaker 3:Your cameras are the alarm. It's going to pop up on your phone every time somebody's there and you have a record of it, and whatever it's like, we'll do this.
Speaker 1:Okay, so one make sure you check in on your silver if you have some yep, I don't think mine's.
Speaker 2:On my insurance policy you should add it as a rider.
Speaker 1:It's part of your contents, but it should be a rider if it's very expensive and most of it is um.
Speaker 1:And then there's these three to four takeaways right, so you can neutrally disengage. You can just say, oh, a squirrel like will. You can direct response. You can go hand to hand, battle contact if you want to. You know like. Debate them If you're really feeling up to it. You're probably going to make other people uncomfortable, but you do, you.
Speaker 1:And then, of course, you can be a boundary setter. You can say, hey, I don't really want to talk about this, let's move on to the next subject. And then you can just make those subject changes kids, plants, weather, last vacation you took you know and adjust your expectations. Don't be afraid to lower the bar. You can go in and know as long as you're okay, everything's gonna be okay. Hey, thank you guys for listening. We love having you here. We're so happy to be back for season two. Please give us a review, share us with your friends and if you ever want to reach out and you have a topic you want us to cover or something that you're just wondering about, let us know topic you want us to cover or something that you're just wondering about.
Speaker 3:Let us know Before you Cut Bangs is hosted by Claire Fehrman and Laura Quick and produced by me, will Ockamy the best.
