Before You Cut Bangs
Hosted by Laura Quick and Claire Fierman, “Before You Cut Bangs” is full of hilarious conversations about real life, common and uncommon crises, and possible cosmetic errors that come along with it. Through storytelling and therapeutic wisdom, Claire and Laura share how to NOT fuck up your hair (and life) while walking through similar situations,
Produced by Will Lochamy
Before You Cut Bangs
2.11 Navigating Small Talk: The Good, the Bad, and the Awkward
Small talk—love it or hate it, it’s everywhere. We explore why it exists, how it shapes our daily lives, and why some thrive on it while others (Will) cringe. Through engaging stories and psychological insights, we unpack its cultural nuances and hidden impact on relationships. Join us as we reflect on the power of brief exchanges, from awkward encounters to meaningful connections. Subscribe and be part of the conversation!
okay, we're good the most important part of this episode is that y'all are gonna see will's face possibly no not not impossibly it is on editing nope, no, you've, you have
Speaker 3:this mystery man and look at that hair.
Speaker 2:He cuts it himself, folks I'll say it, but it's also well it's curly and out of control sometimes. Have you met Clay and Claire? I don't know. It really works, fuck off.
Speaker 1:I'm not used to it. I've had hair here in many years. So I was hosting an event and I had a fancy thing at a country club and I took Lila as my date for the first time. Aw, I was like you're old enough now to go to these things with me or whatever. So she got all dressed up and went. I told her I was like you know your job is, if I'm on stage and my hair starts like doing something, you got to give me a signal. I'll walk over to you at some point you can fix it. And she did like an hour in and I was like all right, here you go.
Speaker 2:And she did it like the no, no, panicky no, you didn't you didn't do it.
Speaker 3:It's a really hard life, curly hair you have unruly curls.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I do have curly hair, but not to the level I used to have really curly hair, All right. What are we talking about today?
Speaker 3:What we just did Okay.
Speaker 2:Small talk.
Speaker 1:Mm. Oh, love it.
Speaker 2:Will's favorite, except you're good at it. You really are good at it.
Speaker 1:I guess, I don't know, there are times I don't like it. It depends on the mood of it, but definitely like going to the store and stuff. That'll be my contribution to this episode, just talking about how much I hate going to the grocery store.
Speaker 3:Well, you do have that face.
Speaker 1:Your disdain for the. This is another outside episode on the front porch, so you're going to hear the birds chirping.
Speaker 2:And the dump truck.
Speaker 1:Waving and the debris truck picking up the neighbor's tree Debris truck?
Speaker 3:What kind of?
Speaker 1:You know we're.
Speaker 2:Say we're in. Oh, oh, I didn't know we had a God I sound rude today. I'm sorry. Well, you are recovering.
Speaker 3:I've been ill. I haven't made any small talk in days as I haven't left the home very much. Okay, Back to oh. I know what I was going to say. You must hate Trader Joe's.
Speaker 1:You know, I've really never been. One time I like walked in because Lila was in there and I was like I need to go in and get her because she's not coming out, and that's it. I've never been in Other than that I've never shopped there.
Speaker 3:Well, that's disappointing because it's amazing. It's amazing and I don't know their training protocols, but I think that they have to comment on one thing that you've purchased and mention like how they've prepared it or how they love it. And I'm always like, oh cool, you know, laura, would they'd have Laura's phone number by the end of it.
Speaker 2:But we would. I'd be like I can refer you to a therapist. I'm willing to help you, give you a five point plan before I leave the line.
Speaker 1:It is really weird when they a lot of cashiers do that try to have talk with you about the stuff you're buying. It's like come on, now, come on.
Speaker 3:We don't want to be there anyways, you know.
Speaker 2:I kind of like it, I'm like into it, you know, I'm like, oh, that's cool. And also one of my like hopes for 2025 was to be off my phone when I'm checking out of places, to try and be a little bit more engaged. I mean, my life is busy and I don't like talking on the phone when I'm trying to interact with people. Sometimes that happens, but it really has opened up some interesting dialect with you know. Just some back and forth with my classic Publix girls. They like to let me know what really is going on. One of them's going through a divorce, obviously, and the other one has got a problem with her son. He's been dabbling in the drugs again.
Speaker 1:Let's all take a moment to say goodbye to the debris truck, and that is what it's called. That is a debris truck.
Speaker 3:I didn't know. I thought you were just fanzying it up.
Speaker 1:What it's called that is a debris.
Speaker 3:I didn't know I thought you were just a loud ass truck. Um okay, so we got this topic from listeners y'all voted for it. So here we are.
Speaker 1:If you love it, you hate it, it's your fault it's like how we feel about small talk we love it and we hate it oh, you see what he did there, yeah, and guess what goldilocks.
Speaker 3:I can kind of go either way, okay, depending on the situation. Uh huh.
Speaker 1:The guy that I do the radio show with. He Loves it so much that he goes to the store For hours On purpose and does every aisle Multiple times and to have small talk with people.
Speaker 2:Well, that is called Starving to death. That's actually what that's called.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you Psychopathic baby.
Speaker 2:Emotionally maybe psychopath, but maybe just like emotionally um, hungry.
Speaker 3:I'll let him know, you said so. So diagnose them, okay. So I think we need to talk about some instances before we get into like why we hate it and our deep thinkers and blah, blah, blah. Um, I can tell you, two weeks ago I went to the dentist and I have never in my life Even had a cavity Never and I love going. I'm not one of those anti-dentist people Because I've never had anything bad happen. I go get them cleaned. See you in six months. So you know the protocol is the dental hygienist comes in. Why did you just write down face?
Speaker 2:Watch your face.
Speaker 3:Watch your face when you're telling a story, just so we're clear this might have.
Speaker 2:You can't, and I'm allowed to write down whatever the hell I want to write down.
Speaker 3:This is not about you. It's like when my therapist takes notes. I'm like just say it Just tell me what you said. Goldilocks really likes to make everything about herself.
Speaker 2:That's true actually.
Speaker 3:So, anyways, you know you get your teeth cleaned, the dentist comes in and they say if you have a problem or not, I suppose, which I haven't had and then they leave. So this time the hygienist comes in and gosh, this is going to be a two part story, cause I also think I might be getting scammed by the dentist which we'll get to, which I've heard is actually popular. But so she takes one look and she's like do you brush every day? And I'm like, my God, yes. And she was like do you floss? And I was like, okay, you know, I can be honest, I could probably floss more. I know everybody lies to their dentist and I was like is something?
Speaker 2:wrong.
Speaker 3:And she was like you have some swelling, your gums are swollen, and she was like usually that's from lack of brushing. And I was like, well, I brush, I'm like starting to like sweat, and I was like any other possibilities. She was like some. And she was like no dietary changes, big life change. I'm like no, like everything's fine. So then she's like I'll be right back, I'll go get the dentist and I'm like oh, like, are my teeth about to fall out?
Speaker 3:So she comes back with him and she's like see, they haven't even cleaned them yet, okay, and he said it's one of two things. Do you take supplements? And I was, yes, I do, I was taking. I've taken new supplements lately. Could that be it? And here, if you take a lot of supplements, minerals will stay in your mouth. It can cause gum inflammation. Okay, and he said or, it does look like early, the early part of pregnancy, excuse me, and so so I'm not pregnant. Um, found out pretty quickly after this at homewood pharmacy and I so loudly was like, which does it look more like? He's like well, I can't tell you that and I'm like mother fucker. Okay, so I have to sit there through the whole teeth cleaning, which talk about small talk, because then the hygienist is like it's all gonna be fine. You're, it's probably the supplements and I'm like what do you think?
Speaker 3:it is, you know, and like I just wanted, another point in my life where I was ready to do this again okay and then, as we're scheduling my appointment, because she's like what are you gonna do the rest day? And in my head I'm like I'm about to go get a pregnancy test is what I'm about to do and call my husband. But she was sketching. She's like guess we'll see you in six months. And I was like fuck off.
Speaker 1:Janet, you know like OK.
Speaker 3:So I called Andy probably 30 times and he didn't answer, which is a blessing. And he didn't answer, which is a blessing, and because at that point went into a pharmacy, went into a coffee shop, used their bathroom, bought a latte and was able to treat patients effectively at my office the rest of the day.
Speaker 2:Love it.
Speaker 3:But who would say that? They should have said it's probably supplements. And then let me figure out on my own time. Yes, If I was pregnant.
Speaker 1:I mean they're a medical professional. They're not a gynecologist, but they're I don't know. What if it's the opposite? What if they we're like we shouldn't mention that to her, and then turns out you were pregnant and went another three weeks or four weeks without knowing I would have never blamed it on the dentist.
Speaker 3:I would have never been like you know. Who should have informed me? Dr Macbeth at Shades Creek Dental. Okay, I would have never even known that it was a possibility.
Speaker 2:So where your filler small talk was supposed to be. Instead, you had to be asking about real life things like do you think I'm pregnant?
Speaker 3:The hygienist was basically my emotional support dog and life coach, for I was like about how much longer do you think it's going to take? And she was like I'll get you out of here in 20 minutes. I was like, okay, no problem. Like I was just sitting there like there was no talk happening. Who can talk anyways? During that she just probably saw, like tears in her eyes, my favorite thing is that they try to talk to you.
Speaker 2:They try. I'm like listen, guys, why are we? Please don't make me try to have a conversation with you while your fingers are in my mouth and you're like scraping whatever off my teeth. I don't like that. I'm so weird. It's the one place I think small talk should be off limits.
Speaker 1:I think the weirdest part of the worst part of that story is that they assume possibly you weren't brushing your teeth every day.
Speaker 2:Also rude.
Speaker 3:I was so offended she's like getting all the way to the gum line. I was like well, I would assume so, as a full 38 years has gone by with only perfect dental reports.
Speaker 1:So I was like who's not brushing their teeth multiple times a day?
Speaker 2:That's still going to a dentist every six months, like that's my point, or even just I mean for the most part, I keep touching my teeth. I know.
Speaker 3:I'm like, I'm like checking, like do am I okay? But I will say cause. Then I did a lot of research. So if you are listening and you take a lot of supplements, it's only things with heavy minerals. So I would assume, like if you have more food based or like magnesium and things like that, it thickens your saliva. Sorry if that's gross and if you do not really floss I got a water flosser after this incident. He was like you don't have to stop taking the supplements, you just have to like really, get in there, and I was like yes, sir.
Speaker 3:And now there's a toothbrush in my car and one in my office. Well, now I'm like. I'm like he's. They will never question if I'm pregnant, brushing my teeth or taking supplements again and in this moment?
Speaker 2:well, do you feel like? Is this revealing that Claire is a bit of an overachiever?
Speaker 3:That's not today's topic.
Speaker 1:Yeah and not reveal no. You knew yeah sure.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, here's what I think about Small Talk. I think that we have a couple different camps. We got the avoided at all cost camp. We have the people who are like in the right setting.
Speaker 3:Wait, what do you mean? Avoid it at all costs? Explain before you move on.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that in my experience with people who struggle with small talk, they have decided to write it off completely right, like I'm just done with that. I hate small talk. They've decided they make these proclamations. I hate it so much. And I think they get there because maybe they had a bad experience or maybe they believe it's vapid, and I just don't think that's true. I don't think all small talk is worthless. So then there's the other camp, the camp of just like. I think they're kind of overthinkers, so they're a little bit nervous. It's not like they don't want to do it, it's like they don't know how to do it. Bobby bobby, for instance, maybe a bit of shane. Shane takes. He's got a good warm-up session. You know he's got to get friends on the boat. We've been there.
Speaker 1:He doesn't listen, so he won't hear that I think, yeah, maybe for me I don't know what it is. I think I think it's that I don't know the person very well. Like, I think maybe that's it. I get myself in situations where like uh-oh, I don't know your name, kind of deal.
Speaker 2:And you get nervous.
Speaker 1:Not nervous, but then I'm just like, geez, I'm going to say the wrong thing Will you meet so many people, it's impossible for you to know everybody's name.
Speaker 2:I feel the same way. I'm like I even say it. I'll be like I'm so sorry, help me with your name. I know we've seen each other a couple of times, but because I don't want it to be weird, or if I know it's a quick flyby, I'll just be like hey, you Girl, girl, you look, I love that shirt. Okay, fit, I gotta go.
Speaker 1:Also, there's a gas station. That's the most convenient gas station If I'm going anywhere from my house or coming to my house and the girl that works the counter is too friendly, she's too friendly and so, like I really have to think like, geez, you might've drive somewhere else to go get this Celsius, Do I? Should I just bite the bullet and go in and be friendly for a second?
Speaker 3:Wow Well shocking for me again same you labrador retriever liar. What do you? How do you mean? You're so pleasant and I'm very pleasant with her.
Speaker 1:I giggle and do the whole thing and I'm like, and then we'll cut the car.
Speaker 2:I'm like you really had to give it because you, I guess it takes energy, it does I guess yeah it's so interesting because I feel like a misstep that I've made over the years is I used to live downtown when Urban Standard was like the place that you would go downtown and I don't know if I've shared this story on here before, but I went there every day for six months, every day, because I was one block from there have my coffee, do my morning routine. And this guy would say good morning Laura, every day and I would say like after a couple of weeks I started just saying good morning Caleb, but his name wasn't Caleb.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, and I called it up.
Speaker 3:Well, I heard somebody I thought call him that you weren't making a joke is what I'm asking?
Speaker 2:No, not at all. I thought look how intentional we've become. You know where you're like. Okay, can I go in this convenience store? Will I have the energy For me?
Speaker 3:I'm leaning all the way in You're going to connect. Oh, I'm connecting Caleb.
Speaker 2:he bought a house. I bought a housewarming party like gift. I didn't go to the party. Then one morning, six months in to this interaction, I'm standing at the counter. He walks by Good. Standing at the counter. He walks by. Good morning Laura. He's delivering food to a table. I'm getting my order taken and I said good morning Caleb.
Speaker 1:And the girl at the register said you know?
Speaker 2:his name's John right, and I said, no, that's actually impossible. His name couldn't. I'm making these names up because I can't ever remember what it is.
Speaker 1:Clearly.
Speaker 2:I was like, yeah, obviously. I was like, what do you mean? And she's like, well, no, this guy back here, that's Caleb, that's John. And I was like, and so he came back by and I was like, why have you not told me your name was John? In six months I got you a housewarming gift To Caleb. To Caleb, and he was like you just seem so. You really believed it and I didn't want to correct you. That was nice and that's what small talk will do for you. You don't have a real relationship with these people.
Speaker 1:I've had a person or two in my life that have started calling me the wrong name and I have not had the chance to correct them, and then it's just for years they have called me this other name.
Speaker 2:Give us the name. What is it? What's the name?
Speaker 1:like I got I was called billy for a long time instead of willie two-tone, you got billy yeah, and like it was one of those things, same deal. There were two billies that I worked with at this place. I'm will. There was a billy and another billy and I guess he had heard that at some point called me billy. I couldn't correct him and then it was done, and for years I mean it's close enough yeah okay so let's talk about you didn't get the third camp.
Speaker 2:What well? The third camp is the people who love it. Oh, okay, yeah. So there's the. There's the deep thinkers who I feel like will hate it because they're like I want meaningful conversation, I just don't even want to bother if it's not going to be worth something. Then there's the over thinkers who are like oh my god, do I have the capacity to do this? Am I saying the wrong thing? I don't even want to bother if it's not going to be worth something. Then there's the over thinkers who are like oh my god, do I have the capacity to do this? Am I saying the wrong thing? I don't know their name. And then there's the third camp, who's just like I'm into it. Well, you said goldilocks. Which one of those are you is there another one that I'm missing?
Speaker 3:well, I think no, mine just depends on the situation. So the person you're talking about with the grocery store, that's like the true lover of small talk.
Speaker 2:You're talking about the girl at the convenience store. No, no, like the person I work with, no who's shopping up and down the aisles? To talk to people. Oh, some guy you work with.
Speaker 1:Got it. Yeah, near enough.
Speaker 3:I can say this. So there's two coffee shops in my neighborhood. Both have perfect coffee. There's people that know my name at both. It feels like cheers. Yes.
Speaker 2:Good morning Claire, you having a latte with regular milk.
Speaker 3:They have my order. It's not complicated At one coffee shop. That's it. You want your coffee? Yes, have a great day. Good to see ya, weather's nice. Bye-bye, easy. The next coffee shop I will leave. Do I have something on my?
Speaker 2:no, I felt like I did. You got a hair.
Speaker 3:Okay, the next coffee shop. They will disclose something so personal to me.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:And they're really precious people in there and some days I'm like I can hold it, I can go in there and I'll naturally over-disclose back to a person I have no actual relationship with, make them feel less alone.
Speaker 2:That's what I say. Of course, You're going to be vulnerable.
Speaker 3:I will double down, you know, and leave thinking why did I tell that person that very personal item about me?
Speaker 2:okay, and you know, I just took a pregnancy test actually in your bathroom. Thank you for asking.
Speaker 3:Have a great day um, so it like depends on my mood, okay, uh, amanda, my best friend only likes chatty coffee shop and I'm like I don't have 20 minutes, I have four and I can go to four minutes or I can go to 20 minutes. I took Bobby in to 20 minute coffee and I'm in deep with one of them. Okay, and she tells me going through IVF her, but she, I already know this going in because obviously, and I walk in and she's like we were able to get, it's not get but get 11 eggs eggs or something she said.
Speaker 3:I know she said eggs. Bobby has no context and Bobby is in camp, whatever camp is like he's an overthinker. We kind of just shuts down and I'm always like, hey, you know, just ask people questions. It can be really easy questions. So she is like we got these 11 eggs and he goes y'all have chickens.
Speaker 1:Oh nice.
Speaker 3:He's like she's gone through this like horrible year long process. I've told my husband, like you could at least be friendlier to people. And then he tries and she was so awesome about it and she laughed and was great, and then, of course, like he's clueless, you know, poor guy. So that's what I'm up against. So I'm I can't even say I'm Goldilocks. It just depends on am I lonely? Could I connect a little bit, or am I in a hurry? I got nothing. Will's gas station situation Like can I just smile and get my drink and go?
Speaker 2:Okay. So when you're saying that this is so interesting because I'm actually thinking about, like, how Shane does it I would say the lower the stakes the more, the more Shane's engaging, Like the redneck playing pool he's in, he's talking trash, he's whatever. But if it's like a okay, we've invited these new people over and we're going to hang out Shane's kind of like, I'm going to need a good 30 minutes to warm myself up to this and then maybe I'll say five to six words, probably just turn on the music too loud and then eventually maybe get into a conversation. So, like for him, I think, like the lower the stakes, the easier it is for him to engage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to say probably the same thing for me, like at the beach, like not a super crowded beach, but at the beach. If there's someone 20 yards away or whatever, I'm always eager to strike up a conversation with them and find out. Like where y'all from where y'all from all that kind of what kind of beer you got in, the cooler yeah and then eventually get bring our chairs together and hang for a little bit okay, I would literally never.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, same that is wild I.
Speaker 1:I won't initiate that, but like.
Speaker 2:Shane is the same way. He will be, like we I mean we had a great conversation on a date night the other night with these random people that we never met I think we're going to hang out with them at Halloween at the Hot Dog House downtown Coleman, because, like, we just start having this great conversation with them because he strikes it up and again, if I'm going to, if I'm hanging out with Claire, I'm just hanging out with Claire. I mean, we might say hello but like we came here to hang out me and you so that's going to be the thing, whereas Shane's, like you know, I don't know there is a.
Speaker 2:It's an interesting like what hat are you wearing?
Speaker 1:Yeah, as I was thinking through the hang out with at the beach a year or so ago, I realized of course there's drinking involved. That's what.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's why. That's why I was like it wasn't just one Celsius.
Speaker 1:Heck, yeah, I'll come over and DJ for you.
Speaker 2:Actually, you know what. Let me take over the speaker I got this I take weddings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Sure, we'll have dinner tonight.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you know You've I got this.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I think, well, alcohol is a component, and then where's my energy?
Speaker 2:Like, do I have it or do I not? And low risk, high risk. And so I think one of the group of people that asked for this podcast were the overthinkers, by the way, the people that seem to get in their heads and they're like get weird. Maybe their face, face is like I don't know what I'm doing with my face, somebody's just. Maybe they're, they're being overshared to and they have no idea how to be like so you have chickens, sweet Bobby. So what do you say from a clinical standpoint? What happens when you're feeling that way, like when, when you're the overthinker and you're like oh, this situation makes me feel weird.
Speaker 3:Well, that's usually like when our mind just goes blank or we're like do I have a booker?
Speaker 2:You know, like all of those things.
Speaker 3:So this is so funny. I guess I've never thought about it clinically, but it's just the same as any other time that my mind wanders into future things or past things. Like I've left the room, how do I come back here right now? And you can still be theoretically uncomfortable, but it's just simplifying into like I'm here right now and you get to ask something so benign, what I tried to coach Bobby on and he missed the mark and that was totally my fault. But it's just like where are you from? Like those beginning engagements, whether it I mean and I guess I would say that with if you're meeting new friends, it it feels even more nerve-wracking than like a cashier. You don't ever see them again, but it's building rapport is the start of any good relationship. Our relationship started off because I wanted to hire you for something and then, four hours later that's true, we were soulmates.
Speaker 2:So like all right, well, I guess we're going to do life together forever.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that started off with and we're terrible examples because we can talk to a brick wall but same yes, but it's just like being right here, engaging how I can and letting the rest go. Because when I'm so in my head, so worried, then people feel that they feel the disconnection. So my therapist calls that going into the abyss. And she's always like you can always go to the abyss, but be sure you come back. So it's like bring yourself back.
Speaker 2:You know we had an event a couple weeks ago for one of the nonprofits that I love very, very much around period poverty, but there was a local doctor. She's an optometrist my new optometrist actually Love her.
Speaker 2:Hello, dr Kelsey. Thank you for tuning in if you're listening. But she asked me she's like I've been asked to speak, what's the secret of speaking? And I was like, honestly, I don't know that there's a secret. I said, but what I can tell you is, over the years I have learned people prefer you be real rather than perfect. So I try to be as truthful and relatable as I can when I'm speaking to audiences, and that normally means I don't come off as polished, but I also come off a lot more like oh, we're not that different. She may have the microphone but as it turns out, she's just a human. You mean she makes mistakes, you mean she says weird stuff at client meetings. Yes, that is all true.
Speaker 3:I think you're out. You're so right because we're not striving for perfection and small talk, we're just striving for, like humanity.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 3:I would tell that over thinkers like you can lighten up, like we don't have to track this to a childhood wound or an attachment style.
Speaker 2:Right, it's just like lighten up, have some humor about it and maybe you do suck at it the rest of your life but you can be more comfortable with just sucking at it totally, and I think it's like you can even say the thing man, I feel awkward when I don't know what to say. That's okay, that's so relatable to most people. They'd be like same, I love. I mean, obviously I'm in a relationship forward business and so I talk to a person on an elevator like I'm that girl, I'm the girl who's like hi, pretty weather today, you know. And they're like, yes, and I'm fine with that, but it's a for me, it's a sharpening of my skill. This is what I do. One. I love making people feel like connected. So I like smiling, making all kinds of eye contact, saying something silly, you know, self-deprecating, like I often trip and I'll be like oh, I don't know if I'm sure you all saw that. Anybody get a video, send it to me, I'll put it on my socials. You know, like, whatever, what are you going to say?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that like public speaking wise, I don't know. I think maybe in small talk it may be something like oh you idiot, why'd you say that? And I'll think about it for a long time. But when I make a, usually the best thing because then I can roll with that and play on it and like self-deprecation is my style and so like if I mispronounce something or whatever and I'm called out on it, wonderful, then I have a joke for the next hour that I can play off of 100.
Speaker 3:So let's talk about the people that say small talk is useless. I would guess that they're under 30 years old. That's a I have.
Speaker 2:No, I would say well, will hated it until he realized he actually loved it five minutes ago.
Speaker 3:No, no no, I don't mean just the haters. I'm talking about the people that think it's useless. They'd rather have deep, meaningful conversation, because that's not what he's saying I, that's definitely not me.
Speaker 2:I think I don't know that I would agree with that. I do think a lot of them, that's what they would say. But I have some friends that would say, ugh, I despise small talk and they're my age and I think that where I believe they're coming from is they don't believe they have the capacity for it, or they don't like have the capacity for it, or they they don't like. I actually have a friend who says things like my friend card is full. I'm not looking for new friends, so I'm uninterested in talking and making a connection with people. I don't know. That doesn't matter to me.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:I'm like that's so sad. Yeah, that's so sad and I think that, well, that's a. Really. It sounds like a self-protection vibe for me, you know, like don't want to be vulnerable, don't need anybody to, whatever. I don't know what is that.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure there's an episode of this podcast where we all said our friend card was full too. Carry on.
Speaker 3:I was like did we say something like that in tier?
Speaker 1:one, but full too. But go carry on.
Speaker 2:I was like did we at least say something like that in tier one, not this part?
Speaker 1:but not about the. I don't have time for. You can only do so many, tier one relationships and be good at it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll digress, but but this all shut up. This is repetition, this one little piece from that episode, but I think it's a good reminder. The easy conversation that is not super deep, super vulnerable, can be really relieving too. Like, oh, I didn't have to share the deepest, darkest thing that's happening in my life. We did talk about weather, what the kids are up to, the trip I'm planning or whatever, and that's it. Like, how light and easy is that to me there's value. You've connected, maybe you've laughed and and that was it, because you don't have to expose everything. The reason gen z-ers don't yell at me, the reason I said I think that they're younger, is because we have people crying on instagram, which you know I bring up. A lot like instagram. They're actually crying on tiktok and then sharing it on their instagram.
Speaker 2:but go on Instagram is they're actually?
Speaker 3:crying on TikTok and then sharing it on their Instagram. But go on.
Speaker 2:Actually, when I said that, I was like damn it.
Speaker 3:It's probably three weeks later on Instagram, but whatever Social media has become, this lens into someone's soul, or it can be.
Speaker 2:I'm more interested in baked goods and yarn, but I don't want that and your algorithm says so, and she and she shows you know, um, what kind of duck breeds do you have on your farm?
Speaker 3:That kind of thing. Um so I think it became this like oh, that's how we connect. You only connect deeply, you only bond in deep connection, and it's just simply not true.
Speaker 2:No, there's something to be said about. Uh what? What did I read one time that was talking about being in the grocery checkout line and a little boy who had lost his parent saying my mom died to the cashier. And the cashier said I'm sorry, your mom died and that that little moment is like a healing moment. I think it was like. So it sounds like a.
Speaker 1:Christmas song. I was going to say that's Christmas Shoes.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1:This is a doctor, this is.
Speaker 2:Oprah and Dr So-and-so. What happened to you? You little assholes. But yes, it's also a Christmas song called Christmas Shoes. Fuck all the way off. It is a real thing, but like those little micro moments with people, it's nice. The the thing is is like, let's say, your friend card really is full and you know who I'm talking to you. You're listening right now, probably, and you know it's you. If your friend card really is full, kindness is not to say that a small interaction with someone or talking to them is that you're opening your a friend slot, even if it's tier three, tier four. It's just to say you don't know how long it's been since that cashier, that convenience store girl, had someone actually give her a fist pump or tell her to have a great day or thank her for what she's doing while looking her in the eye.
Speaker 1:So, like the capacity it takes for you to get out of your truck, go on yeah, no, and I do, and mean I and you do it, and then you're like damn it, what we're getting at is you should feel like shit if you pass that gas station.
Speaker 3:She needed you that day. It's a very busy gas station.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that she's like this with everyone. She's like this way with my friend Nick too. Can we go in there? Huh, her again.
Speaker 2:Y'all are like stopping three exits down, just so you don't have to go in. Poor girl.
Speaker 1:All I've got is Christmas shoes now, oh wow.
Speaker 3:Gonna buy these shoes For my mama, okay.
Speaker 2:And that's today's episode. Thanks for tuning in, you bitches.
