Before You Cut Bangs
Hosted by Laura Quick and Claire Fierman, “Before You Cut Bangs” is full of hilarious conversations about real life, common and uncommon crises, and possible cosmetic errors that come along with it. Through storytelling and therapeutic wisdom, Claire and Laura share how to NOT fuck up your hair (and life) while walking through similar situations,
Produced by Will Lochamy
Before You Cut Bangs
3.5 Receiving 101: A Holiday Survival Guide for Overfunctioners.
This episode on Before You Cut Bangs, we’re talking about something that should be simple… but somehow feels like advanced emotional calculus:
Receiving gifts, compliments, help, and kindness. Maybe a casserole you didn’t ask for. Perhaps a gorgeous candle from a friend when you... you guessed it... got them nothing.
Why is it SO HARD to say thank you without immediately blurting out, “Oh, this old thing? I’ve had it for 12 years,” or “Girl, it was $5 at Target,” or the classic Southern special:
“You didn’t have to do that!” (Spoiler: They wanted to.)
Claire walks us through her brilliant “garland” practice—yes, garland, like the Christmas kind—and why we need to throw away the emotional tinsel that keeps us from letting good things in.
Laura gets vulnerable about walking through a season of capacity and emotional poverty and how hard it was to learn how to receive from her friends.
We cover:
Why women self-deprecate the minute anyone says something nice
Why receiving feels like guilt, debt, or competition
Why you panic when someone brings you a gift and you have nothing for them
How receiving is actually a spiritual practice
Why receiving is the gateway to giving (and to healing)
How to stop making it weird and just say… THANK YOU.
Listen now and share with the friend who says “I don’t need anything…” while absolutely needing everything.
Welcome to Before You Cut Bangs. I'm Laura Quick and I'm Claire Fearman. I am a professional storyteller, a CEO, a mom, and a shit talker.
SPEAKER_00:I am a therapist, a coach, also mom. I would say decent wife, an excellent friend. Also, a little disclaimer, while I am a therapist, I am not your therapist. And uh Norris Laura, we are not your coaches, and certainly not Will Lockney. Honestly, you shouldn't trust us that much unless things are going really well. I mean, if it hits home, roll with it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, so they could listen to me.
SPEAKER_03:You know, one of the things that I cringe when I look back at myself in my 20s or even as early as high school, because those are probably the memories that I have that are most cringy, high school to like in my 20s. Anytime someone would give me a compliment, like if they would be like, hey, I love that shirt, I would be like, Oh, I got this from Target. It was on sale for$3. Like, had such a difficult time of actually showing up and receiving a compliment. I couldn't, didn't know how to say thank you. I made it weird. An over-explanation just spiral. This old thing or something like that. Oh, uh hey, yes. It's$2. I got it from the Goodwill. Oh, someone gave it to me. I've I don't even know where that came from. I think it's my friends. Like I'm talking like full-on stranger than anything. Um, and I just realized that something I'm seeing more and more in what I want, because I feel like I've jumped this hurdle and I'm but I still struggle with it sometimes, depending on the crowd, is like women who have a hard time just saying thank you and taking the compliment and really like going, damn. Thank you for saying that and receiving it. And then women who apologize just for kind of like existing while while they're like in the grocery store. Like somebody bumps into them and they say, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_00:You know who apologizes so much? Who? The British. It was constant.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, we should say Claire's fresh off her European really, the boat, but the plane, the Delta One. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, that's what I want on Delta One, and I was literally the last row. It was home alone.
SPEAKER_04:Let's not talk bad about airlines again.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god. No, no, no, no. It's talking bad about my parents. I'm just kidding. I I had a great flight. Now I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid anymore.
SPEAKER_03:But okay, but it's the holidays. So you tend to get more compliments around the holidays because we're dressing up more.
SPEAKER_00:Not just compliments, but I think we could add in receiving something and just saying thank you. Yes. Without overexplaining or feeling guilty if you thought your gift back to them was less than or you hadn't given them something. So I think this is a double do see.
SPEAKER_03:I like that. I like that. I also that's hard for me to receive. I love to give a gift, but I'm always like, what do you mean you got me a better gift? If your gift made me cry and I didn't make you cry, um why don't I just go take myself somewhere? Can you accept a compliment?
SPEAKER_04:I I think so. I mean, I was thinking about this as you guys were talking about it. I I believe so, yeah. I mean, I might do a little bit of that though. Like, oh gosh, you know, whatever. Anybody push it away. Anybody could do this. I mean, yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:I've been drumming since I was seven, and it's second nature to me now.
SPEAKER_04:Uh yeah. I I mean, some if I really don't believe like that I'm uh that great of a drummer, then I will sometimes be like, you know, right place, right time, got that job.
SPEAKER_03:Why do we swing to self-deprecation in those moments? Why can't we just take the compliment?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I have a story. Oh, I love a story. I don't know that I've ever done this on here, but I heard this story about a year ago and I loved it. So it is about the Hindu goddess Lakshmi, and everyone has likely seen like a Lakshmi around. She's really beautiful. Um, I mean, like you've probably seen like a painting or a statue or something of Lakshmi. I can see it in my eye right now. Okay. So Lakshmi was the goddess of wealth, beauty, like the bringer of goodness and good things. So one of the folklore kind of stories around her is she had a beautiful garland, like, you know, you can picture like pretty flowers and leaves that you know you would wear around your neck. Um, and in I guess imaginary times, thousands of years ago in South India. But um, so she tried to give the garland to a king and he refused it. And on the surface, it looked like he refused it because like he's surrounded by like all this gold and goodness. So it was like, oh, I don't need that, but really he felt like he had too much already to accept a gift of goodness. So note if we feel like we have too much already, sometimes we will reject being given something positive, whether it be a compliment or a gift. Wow. Then oh, it keeps it goes on. Okay. Then Lakshmi goes to the neighboring town, and it's all like the wealthy people. Every single person refused the garland, but for a different reason. Some were similar to the king in this place of humility, of like, oh no, I can't. They all complimented how beautiful it was, but rejected the gift. And but even if they complimented, sometimes it was like, this isn't good enough for me, why would I need this? Or sometimes it was I already have too much. Okay. So finally, Lakshmi finds a peasant, and the peasant accepts the garland and wears the garland for years and years and years. Um, and the this story actually goes on and on, and there's two versions, and the heavens get involved, and it's a whole thing, but the peasant didn't accept because he was lacking. The peasant accepted the garland because he was open. And I love the differentiation in all of these pieces of the story. When we're open to it, then we get to receive all of these beautiful things. And this is just like a made-up myth or fable, you know, or whatever we want to call it, to show to me, it's the perfect example of how many times probably women more than men toss the garland. Like we're handed this thing of thank you so much for hosting dinner. Your chicken noodle soup was amazing. Oh my God, you know what? It was from a box. Like we toss the garland, toss the garland, toss the garland. So that was a really long way to answer. Sometimes I just don't think we're open to it for a million reasons, depending on who we are. Am I unworthy of accepting this? Do I already have too much and I should be giving this to somewhere? Do I need to be more generous and not able to receive this? And so per person and per woman, I think we toss the garland for different reasons.
SPEAKER_02:Do you toss the garland? You're tossing the garland over there with drumming. With drumming.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, maybe maybe that. But definitely like gifts. Like, I don't I don't love getting gifts. Because I feel almost then like, oh, I need to get you something. Like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:You owe somebody something.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I that has so much to do with how you were raised, too. Like this idea of Could you call Bob? Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00:Could I call? I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_03:You know he would love to be called right now.
SPEAKER_00:Just want to know what he was like accepting and receiving gifts.
SPEAKER_03:I bet I bet he's pretty good at it.
SPEAKER_04:Interesting, huh?
SPEAKER_03:Do you think he is?
SPEAKER_04:I don't know. Um, Billy, my mom, she she did all the yeah.
SPEAKER_00:What mother didn't.
SPEAKER_03:No. I think baseline for normal is for me, I grew up in a house where you didn't want to owe anybody anything, right? So really the idea that someone could compliment me and I not know how to ping pong it right back to them would make me feel a ton of discomfort.
SPEAKER_00:Um what could happen if you owed somebody something? Like, what was the story?
SPEAKER_03:Um, well, I think they could hold it over your head. You know, this idea that, like, oh, I was nicer to you than you were to me. Or remember when I gave you a hundred dollars, you needed to borrow that. Like, you're yeah, you're welcome. I did you a solid. I mean, and that's a silly one.
SPEAKER_04:And that could be just in your head. They're probably most of the time, they're not thinking that.
SPEAKER_03:But it's the narrative. If you grow up in a house where that is a perpetual belief system of like, we're not gonna owe anybody shit. I'm talking like my dad paid off his mortgage in eight years when I was a kid, and he worked three jobs to do that, not owing somebody something was really important to him. And it's funny because we didn't even have that through a bank. It was through my grandfather. But like, even owing it to his own father was something that he was like, no, no, no, we don't owe people things, or if we have to, as little as as little time as possible.
SPEAKER_00:So it would be vulnerable in that household to owe somebody something. That means like risk, bad, tit for tat. Totally. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. And I think that in in this weird way, I saw the behavior that I saw was like, I want to be the person who's most generous. I don't want anybody to have to be generous to me. That's what I saw played out. I'm like, oh my God, this is kind of therapy right now for me. Because I really hadn't thought about it that way. But I I did see that, you know. I jokingly called my dad's kind of like a modern-day Robin Hood in a weird way. Like he would always be the guy who's like making soup and taking it up to the swamp fox, my uncle's like weird convenience store and giving that away, or you know, silly things like that, mostly around food or whatever. But he'd always need to talk about it.
SPEAKER_00:See what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, see, see what a good guy I am. And I mean, you know, and I think like he really did want to be good. And so being seen as good, I think was important to him. But I also feel like there was that narrative of just like we can't let anybody think that we owe them anything.
SPEAKER_00:We gotta hurry up and get this over. I've never seen someone like I've never seen my mother allow someone to pay for her lunch or dinner. She will get out in front of that and pay for the whole table. And if it was 50 people at hot and hot, she's like, well, we just have to get a second mortgage then because I'm not going to like will not allow that to happen on my watch.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So it's like high generosity for sure, but I think it's a level of anxiety. And I've taken that, like, where if someone's like pulling out their card, I'm like, no, no, no, ah, like slow-mo, like, you don't need to do that for me. It's weird.
SPEAKER_03:We've had to get better at that with each other. Like you would be like, I got this. And I'd be like, no, I got this.
SPEAKER_00:But you have to be like, I'm going to write it off. Yes. And I'm like, okay, is as long as you're writing it off.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, I see. That's yeah. If somebody tries to buy dinner or drinks or whatever, I that's always like, hey, are you writing this off? Okay, that's fine then. If not, though, I do not want them paying.
SPEAKER_03:Same. Yeah. Same. It's a weird thing, which now, you know, what's the show that you have rolling in your head where he's this is a write-off. Like, David.
SPEAKER_00:What is it called? Why can't I think of the name? Shits creet. Shit screet. Yes. Yes. He's like, I'm writing it off. And if this is a write-off, you don't know what that means.
SPEAKER_03:He's like, writing it off to who?
SPEAKER_00:I love a write-off. Love a write-off. So but I do think it's this vulnerable thing of I don't know that in my family it was that you, it was not an owing of something. Uh-huh. It was like we care take. So we want to make sure you're taken care of and we got you no matter what. And so I mean, I pay for everybody's everything. And it's not because I feel like I have to. I'm like, I got you, I got you, I got you.
SPEAKER_03:100%. I think I think the other part too is like that self-deprecation, which is probably where I the camp I fell into in my 20s was just uh I didn't want anybody to I didn't want it to seem like I thought I was better than anyone. And so I'd really like, it doesn't matter if I spent$300 on a shirt. It's like this whole thing.
SPEAKER_00:I did this when I walked in here with Rachel. Rachel.
SPEAKER_03:Rachel's amazing.
SPEAKER_00:She she helps with the filming and she loved my outfit. And I was like, thank you. And I really did need the compliment, but I did overexplain and I was like, I hate my closet today, which is true, but I don't even know how to just say thank you.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, I I think it's a growth edge for most people. I I'm still, I, you know, struggle with it differently than I did in my 20s. Um, I think now I could take a compliment about an outfit because I finally feel like I kind of know what I'm doing because Shelly basically dresses me all the time. Um, but I think I still have a hard time taking compliments or receiving things from someone to Will's point, if maybe I didn't show up with something too. Like even when I'm hosting something and people bring host gifts, I'm like, oh no, no, you shouldn't have. I have put it in your car and get out of here. Get out of here with that. Yes, a great bottle of wine. Take that home and drink it.
SPEAKER_00:You're gonna enjoy it and that candle you brought. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:I like that candle. It's leaves a candle. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00:So the self-deprecating piece would be different per person. And I think if listeners ask themselves, why do I toss the garland? That if you can have that as a phrase, once I had it, now I just notice it. Like, oh, I some what you're talking about was if people are complimenting me, I want to appear like I have a level of humility. So I will toss the garland in the sake of humility. That's the king mentality. Like, oh, look at all these things I have. I'm good.
SPEAKER_03:And then the other person might be like, Well, that bitch, you know, she doesn't even care that I that I thought she looked great or whatever.
SPEAKER_00:And then mine is I wonder about my unworthiness of like you look so great. And I'm like, when did I look bad? I do when people are like, Are you tired? And I'm like, I knew it. I look like a piece of shit. I'm a piece of shit. I did sleep only four hours last night. So that new kitten. Oh, they really do keep you up. They're really, it's a baby. So the the question it will be or the answer will be different for everyone. Why do I toss the garland? And it might be different per scenario of am I uncomfortable because it will be tit for tat? I owe somebody something. Did someone give me this gorgeous gift that they worked so hard on and then I feel less than? So I have to, I feel like I owe somebody something in a different way. Do I not feel comfortable in my own skin just to say thank you without the explanation of it's from Target, not Gus Meyer?
SPEAKER_03:And the gift giving season is upon us. I think there's uh the opposite side of this is if you're not good at taking compliments. Um, I would really encourage that this is a season of generosity. Be really generous with how kind you are and gracious you are receiving something that maybe your mother-in-law or your cousin or whoever picked your name out of the hat this holiday season didn't get it quite the way you thought it would go. Um, that you could just say thank you. You know, you can say thank you and you don't have to talk shit and you don't have to make it weird and you don't have to go whisper in the kitchen about and like, uh, did you see she got the stuff from Bed Bath and Beyond? Like, whatever, you know. I don't know if you have anything to say about that.
SPEAKER_00:I kind of like that part of the holidays.
SPEAKER_03:But are you kidding me? I know. Well, yeah, but you do it, you call me, and then I'm like, are you joking? I remember this is no shit. I was invited to a speaking, you will appreciate this.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:No poop in pants. No, no, no. There's no poop. You you'll appreciate it in a real way, not a cringe way. I was invited to speak to a team a couple of years ago, and they told me they really didn't have a budget, but I knew them very well. And I was like, hey, listen, whatever you can afford will work for me. I will make it work. This is like four years ago. Um, I spoke. I actually did a workshop with them, which is, you know, a more it's more time. It's a more time investment. It's not like you go in and you're doing like a 15 or 20 minute talk. It's like a, you know, you're staying there and working through whatever. And afterwards, she like made a really big deal about it, but she had just gone into we were at the what is that hotel at the um other mall? Winfrey. The winfree. So we're in a room in the winfree, and she had literally just gone to Bed Bath and Beyond or Body Works or whatever it was called, and gotten me like a bath bomb and uh you remember this, and a lotion set and a card that was just like thanks. And I I'm sad to say, I was so offended. I was so offended I don't, I'm ashamed because it was probably on my face and I hate that, but like this is my this is my career. Like I do that for a living. I work people through like strategy workshops and things. And, you know, I have found that that is where I get a lot of, I'm giving people a lot of value when I do that. And so for someone to give me like a$30 where I would normally charge a lot more than that, I was like, oh, oh, this was what you could afford. I meant like if you could only pay me a thousand dollars, that would be fine.
SPEAKER_00:But I just were not clear on the front end.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, you have no idea how clear I am now. It is crystal clear how much it costs now.
SPEAKER_00:And the price has gone up, folks. You know what I think? If they had been like, we made a donation in your name to the Humane Society for$50, I think you would have had a different feeling about it.
SPEAKER_03:Some of the greatest gifts that people have ever given me that have been easier to receive is when they're like, hey, we know you love giving beds to children. We made a donation to this nonprofit, or we love what you're doing with period poverty. We just made a donation to LaDom's. I'm like, oh my gosh, thank you so much. That is the least weird I've ever felt. But yes, the bed, bath and beyond or body works around. Bath and body works a lot. Never correct me. Yes, but that is the one. It is. Um, anyways, yeah, that's the word. Oh, but I don't think I had a poker face. I'm embarrassed about it. I think I was like, well, this is your amends. I'm so sorry for not being gracious and receiving the Bath and Body Works gift bath bomb situation and didn't use it. It smelled weird.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know if this ties into exactly kind of the scenarios we're talking about, but Facebook birthdays, like when people my thing with this was like whatever, 12 years ago, maybe or something. Uh I thought it was like this is pretty funny that people do. I don't know these people, and like it's funny. It's nice, it's really nice. But also, like in my way of kind of playing with the whole thing, I was like, I'm going to say thank you to every single person, but not just say thank you. I'm going to like say something about them. You don't give them a compliment. So I would like go through their Facebook page. I would take me a day or two. I would go through their page, see like, oh, they're a fan of this or they like this, and I'd be like, hey, I hope you're coach, blah, blah, blah, this year. And I would say I would say thank you, and then I would say something about Was this a bit for the radio? It was just a bit for my life.
SPEAKER_03:Stop.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And so it's That's a good bit though.
SPEAKER_04:It was fun, but it got out of control.
SPEAKER_03:Commitment. Yeah, it got way out of control. That's what they were. I was gonna say, you have a ton of it's like when you reach the cap on Facebook.
SPEAKER_04:It's been yeah, for years. But so now, like remember as we record this, uh, I'm not happy about it. As we record this, like I just had a birthday.
SPEAKER_01:Uh huh.
SPEAKER_04:And so yeah, it's a two day You just had a birthday? This week. This week, Laura?
SPEAKER_03:Well, look at I don't care.
SPEAKER_04:No, stop, don't do nothing.
SPEAKER_03:Stop the recording. I'm sorry. I must simply pass away.
SPEAKER_04:No, but now I so now I've never felt more. No, guys, guys, I don't want anything. Don't give me anything. Seriously.
SPEAKER_00:I didn't mean a gift. I meant I wish I had told you. You could have just pretended you did have a important thing. Well, we would like to take this opportunity. Guys, this is perfect. This is exactly what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_03:Actually, yes, you do. Still in affirmations. Will you are one of the kindest humans I've ever known?
SPEAKER_05:Oh, come on.
SPEAKER_03:You are truly you, I am so grateful that you're my friend because it is the quiet kindness. And also, I just always know you're there, but it's never ever like aggressive like I am.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:I'm no, seriously. You said you take compliments, so sit there and take the garlic. Literally turning red. Um, and I'm I just you existing in the world makes me excited because knowing there are people like you is just a like, thank God.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, thank you, Laura. That's very kind.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, go on.
SPEAKER_00:Mine's only one sentence. So I think that you are what husbands and dads should be.
SPEAKER_04:Oh well, thanks.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, and that made her emotional. She's emotional. Yeah, I am. I just think you're such a good music.
SPEAKER_04:I've not always been good at it. I'll say that.
SPEAKER_00:I feel like I've uh in my I just admire you very much as a person. And you're funny, which is just a bonus.
SPEAKER_03:Oh no. Okay, we're both emotional. Absolutely. We forgot well that we're literally crying. It's fine. That's it's we've been through a lot.
SPEAKER_04:Well, ladies. We love you.
SPEAKER_01:We love you.
SPEAKER_04:All right, so here's the up if you don't cry on my birthday.
SPEAKER_00:When you're giving her a speech, if you don't tear up, she's gonna be speech. It's best that this happened this way. Because it was the topic, it happened, and c'est la vie, as we say in France, you know? And she has, I don't know if y'all notice, but she just got back from Europe.
SPEAKER_04:Off the boat. So here's the update. So this week, I still now, even though there's it's impossible, there's no way to do the thing where I write something personal. It would take you know months. Yes. But I do feel the need still to say thank you, comma, that, and then that person's name to all of them. And it took it was three days. It took three days.
SPEAKER_01:Why didn't you just like them?
SPEAKER_04:Because I feel the thing they went out of their way to go to my Facebook. They didn't. They didn't.
SPEAKER_03:It literally just says happy birthday. If it just says this is my rule. No, a lot of them say it's a good thing. So if it's a personal statement, I will comment back. If it is just the happy birthday, Laura, or one of those boxed up things that Facebook prompts you with, I don't Okay, but also you see what I'm saying though.
SPEAKER_04:It goes into the thing of like, even if I think the whole Facebook thing is a little bit silly. I think it's great, but I think it's kind of silly, right?
SPEAKER_01:Of course it's silly. They don't really know yet.
SPEAKER_04:Silly for me to go back and say every person's name that did it. Even if they clicked the thing.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna say something crazy. Okay, go for it. So at first, Facebook used to be exciting when I'm like, 32 people posted on my wall, you know. I was like, that's so nice. And then that lost its value. Yes. Um, and then we, you know, it was like text messages, you know, a thousand texts in a day, happy birthday. And I'm St. Patrick's Day, so lots of four-leaf clovers are coming through. I this is the crazy part. I really appreciate a phone call, actually, on my birthday. And I like to call people. They don't have to, I know, I know that's I know what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03:I literally just said this liter this week, not to you, Will, but a different friend who calls me every year on my birthday and sings me happy birthday, most of the time in a voicemail, which I appreciate because I'm very 1900s in that way. Um, I called her and left her a voicemail.
SPEAKER_00:And I like a voicemail, I say, and you know what? She can save that. Don't y'all remember those cards from your grandparents that you had to pretend like the money didn't come out, or you know, like we have we I'm gonna I'm very tender today. Are you starting to worry? No, I'm through it. Oh last time I was so mean.
SPEAKER_03:Um well, I came in kind of hot.
SPEAKER_00:Real roller coaster. I miss having paper things too. I love looking through old stuff. You know you're just music to my ears, the writer and the magazine girl. I'm bringing, you know what? Don't post on my wall. I want a card in the mail. I'd like to send you my address. I don't want any money, just a card.
SPEAKER_03:And I'll send you. Unless you want to send money. Then that's fine. No one's gonna be mad. Could you write me a check?
SPEAKER_04:Okay, some real planning goes on with sending a card.
SPEAKER_00:That's exactly right. Because you thought you, whoever planned. I like uh just a little note thinking about you.
SPEAKER_04:Paul Rubens, Pee-wee Herman, he would like famously send like really funny Jeffson texts, like personalized though, to everybody he knew on their birthdays. And then I heard Carol Burnett recently talking about Lucy, uh, how that was her idol and hero and whatever. And Lucy would in advance send a birthday card to everyone.
SPEAKER_03:It's a different generation, man.
SPEAKER_04:And Lucy died on Carol Burnett's birthday, and sure enough that day a card showed up.
SPEAKER_00:Still stop, that gave me chills. Let's bring back the card. Yeah, let's bring back the compliment without tossing the garland. Do not toss our garland.
SPEAKER_03:We're not for this season, which does feel on brand for the holidays. We're not tossing the garland. We're not gonna do it. Look, look at you. You're so good. You're a marketer for the holidays.
SPEAKER_00:For the holidays.
SPEAKER_01:She really is a Jewish Kris Kringle, if you will. That's what they call me. The hybrid.
SPEAKER_00:She's the hybrid. But that's my that's my hope. And accepting gifts, even when they're shitty, uh like bath and bad bath and body. Never country apple. Frisia. Thank you. Um and body spray. I hope, and I'm saying this for me. I'm gonna manifest it. I get, I start curating these little tiny gifts because I'd rather have give one small perfect thing. And then the week before Christmas, I'm like, everyone's gonna hate everything. I have to buy, and then I'm like, just get the Amex out and I overdo. Okay, wait, let me speak. I'm not overdoing this.
SPEAKER_03:You're not, I'm gonna speak some life over you. You're one of the most precious gift givers that I know. Thank you. You're very thoughtful. She showed up to my house, my new house with this gorgeous little, like precious. It's sitting on my coffee table. Piece of art. Piece of art that's like a flower arrangement, which she knows how much I love flowers. Um, an amazing card that said plant some roots and a beautiful, like tiny little magnolia tree to plant that I'm going to plant. And I haven't planted yet, but I'd probably need you to come over and help me with that. Okay, but I am gonna do it.
SPEAKER_00:I'm leaning into forever gifts right now. I love that. Because none of that's that hard. Like a tree, how yeah, boy, tree.
SPEAKER_04:I I'd accept that gift. I'd rather it's a good one. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that's a good, I mean, a tree, I think it's golly, it's that was such a precious, like, because she knew where I was in my season. It was so thoughtful. It was not like, oh, I just ran by a you killed it. I just accepted it. Yes, thank you. Killed it. And I and you've always been that way.
unknown:Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:Precious. I get like handwritten notes from Claire. She's always thoughtful. Except with Will's birthday, of course, which we fucking forgot. And that's our bad. We love it.
SPEAKER_04:No, you forgot. So don't worry about it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Well, we're actually on your wall. Once you get to us, though, yeah, yeah. I wrote a full pair of things. You wouldn't believe you gotta hurry and get over there.
SPEAKER_04:Sorry, I made you guys cry.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, wow. Thanks a lot.
SPEAKER_04:Hey, I'll say this funny thing. Uh, for we go, my friend uh Joseph, when we used to not before we had like thousands of Facebook uh friends or whatever, and it'd just be like a hundred. He would do the thing after at the end of his birthday, he's like, Hey, thanks everyone who posted and wish me a happy birthday. And then he would say, Still waiting to hear from and he would tag people that had not yet posted on his own.
SPEAKER_01:That's actually pretty hilarious.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, which I was yeah, it's one of the few jokes that I'm really mad I didn't come up with. Like that I was like, Dag dum.
SPEAKER_01:It actually feels like a joke you would I know you would that's a bit it was on brand for me, and I did not I had not thought of that.
SPEAKER_04:Ugh, anyway.
SPEAKER_03:Um, hey, I'm happy to be back in Birmingham.
SPEAKER_04:I'm glad, yeah. It's like you are.
SPEAKER_03:Especially now that Claire's back from freaking her European American doll vacation. I'm riding on Will's wall right now. Oh my god. Oh my god, same. Don't stop me. All right, we'll see y'all next time.
SPEAKER_04:Thanks.
SPEAKER_00:Before you cut bangs is hosted by Lara Quick and Claire Fearman and produced by Will Lockhamade. Follow along with us everywhere.
SPEAKER_03:Please subscribe to the podcast. Find us on Instagram. We're constantly doing polls. We want to know what you think. And I know that you probably know this, but reviewing us and giving us five stars matters more than anything, and we are so grateful to have you here.
SPEAKER_00:We talk so much on the podcast about seeking therapy, getting help, finding resources. I would love to be able to help you with that. My website is up and running and beautiful. It is goodgrowthwithclaire.com. So, whether you're in the state of Alabama or not, I want to be able to help direct you to the right resources. Goodgrowthwithclaire.com.
