3.10 Is the News Ruining Our Lives? (Or Are We Consuming The Wrong Things?!)

Join Laura and Claire as they navigate the weight of the modern 24-hour news cycle without falling into the "doomscroll" trap. By blending mental health boundaries with sharp media literacy, we explore how to verify what’s real, avoid AI-generated outrage, and protect your nervous system from the rise of nightly digital trauma.

Stop letting global crisis paralyze your local impact. We make the case for "going analog"—transforming news-induced helplessness into momentum through food banks, neighborly service, and concrete action. It’s time for a saner news diet that allows you to stay informed, set firm limits, and show up steadier for the people who need you most.

Transcript

Naming The Heaviness And Helplessness

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to Before You Cut Bangs. I'm Laura Quick. I'm a professional storyteller and I'm writing my first book. And I'm Claire Fearman. I'm a therapist, but not your therapist. Full disclaimer: take what you like, leave the rest. So today's episode is truly about the heaviness we're exposed to. Not just exposed to, but the reality of what's happening in the world or our country. And we're not gonna like dissect it. That's what NPR is for. But I received a text message yesterday, and it was someone really upset about something on the news. And as a therapist, it's only happened one other time, and it was during COVID when you're simultaneously going through something with a client. Like I don't know all the tools because I'm in it too, and seeing things that I can't believe I'm seeing. Right. Um We're living in unprecedented times for sure. Always. And the theme is helplessness. Like, what am I supposed to do with all this? And I'm so overwhelmed. Um, saw a post yesterday about motherhood. And I mean, this was in particular about ICE and the little five-year-old, and that wrecked me. I texted Laura just because I had to like say it. Yeah. So I would say today's episode isn't about the content of that necessarily, but A, I'm curious if y'all have had that experience of something just hitting you so hard, the feeling of helplessness, and then what do y'all do with it? So it should be kind of a funny, like fun episode. Oh, yeah, that's a good time. Lighthearted for a good time.

Period Poverty And Real-World Giving

SPEAKER_02 1:41

I feel like so. We just did a recap of our 2025 for my nonprofit. We we our goal is to eradicate period poverty. We've just changed that from a more North Alabama. Now we're gonna go national. Our goal is to be in 10 cities in the or 10 counties in the state of Alabama by the end of 2027. We gave away 32,000 organic feminine hygiene products by being in 17 schools. We want to eradicate period poverty for girls under the age of 19. The weight of what that actually means, though, when you break it down from a socioeconomic perspective, is that one in five children will go to bed hungry in the state of Alabama today. And mostly that's a true stat for around the US. Like it's about one in four, one in five, one in three in some really impoverished areas. Um so when I think about period products, I know that there is a deficit there because there's a deficit because they're in poverty in general, right? The weight of knowing that littles in our communities are going to bed without food is so heavy to me. I don't, I don't know why it's a food thing for me, but that really is the thing that when I read about it and I research about it and I think about it, I know I cannot rescue children out of poverty. I know that that is a way that I give. I give around childhood poverty mindset. Like I know if kids have food when they need it, they will, that's one of those core fundamental things that will hopefully change their mind that they'll be able to make it out. Um, the same thing with products and things like that. So obviously super lighthearted episode, but you know, everybody has maybe a thing that pulls at their heart more than something else. And I think that's an invitation to do something about it. Um but I was just telling Will off microphone, which I know he hated. I am the person that tends to steer away from consuming any content that I'm like, I know I can't do anything about that. And I am not a head in the sand person, but I think I feel very called to do the things I'm doing, and I'm gonna do them with diligence and try and make impact. But I am such a bleeding heart that I will like, I don't even know.

Media Lies, Convictions, And Ethics

SPEAKER_03 4:11

I'm like anywhere that's a little bit how I am about like the Humane Society. Like this morning I was talking to the head of the Humane Society, and you know, they bring puppies to the show for me to like show to people on the video, whatever. And she's sitting there getting text about these dogs that are being abused, and she's texting the sheriff, and like all this is happening while we're sitting there having a conversation. She's like, just this dog, it's 28 days been tied up to this thing. 28 days been tied up. I was I'm like, I don't know that that's what I really can't do. If there's a dog or something that's being abused, uh You're trying to go vigilante and you're gonna go to the street. No, I mean I'll just head in the sand. I can't. I can't. It's the too much. Yeah. So that's where I am. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

The news thing, you know, without Well, you live in this media world and you are a truth speaker on the radio.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

And that's so the big frustrating thing for me is not truth. These lies that and and people, mostly people in my industry that say things they don't believe, and they know because they're getting paid to do so. Holy moly. I don't know how that's possible. There's not enough money. You could, I'm not kidding. You could give me the biggest house, all the money, any the airplanes, anything I want, but I just had to like lie to my listeners every day, and I wouldn't do it. There's no chance. And I know several people. First, I know them personally, that that's what they do.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

As your agent, I will tell you that will create some limitations on how much money I can get you.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

We're gonna have to.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

That's one of the things that I love about you, and I think is one of the things that make us good friends is I do feel like all three of us are convicted people, meaning we we operate out of a no moral high ground here for sure, but like a set of morals that govern kind of our yeses and our no's.

Consuming News Without Drowning

SPEAKER_03 6:04

Yeah. And, you know, we talked about this just a little bit off the air too, which I wanted to save for here. But um, you know, one thing right now, I think we are in historic times. I think, like you said, unprecedented times, very consequential times. And so anytime someone says to me, like, oh, I just ignore all of it, I'm like, oh, but you can't. Like I think you need to know what's happening.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

I like to have friends that know what's happening and be like, hey, tell me the things that I need to know.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Should that's so that's what I do, you know, with my news story.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

You're that friend.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

It's the morning quickie. So basically, I a lot of my friends work at NPR and their numbers are down right now. We talk, we have meetings about this, we talk about it because people are overwhelmed with the news. They don't want to hear because it is sad and depressing and like shocking, everyday shocking. So what I do is I don't read the whole uh the story for five minutes. I read two sentences to tell you here's basically what's happening.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

And bam, bam, I hit that, and then I always end up with an onion article to make le bring levity to the I have two newsletters that I subscribe to that uh will give me kind of the highlights of what is happening in the world. And um they're probably on two different camps, but it's just so I can see what's where the propaganda is.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Um why do you think it's important to stay aware?

SPEAKER_03 7:23

Because we collectively have the power to move the country in a in one way or another. And if we don't know what's happening, then we will not have that collective power. If only some people are paying attention and some people are paying and also, you know, there's a lot of people that are unfortunately paying attention to the wrong stuff and they're being misled and lied to. And that's uh that's a serious problem. And I see that with really smart people, people I respect and that are you know highly educated, and and I see them falling for stuff and not believing their lying eyes.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Well, and I think that we're also in a we're in a time now where think about what AI can manipulate and is doing, and an older generation who easily believes it. I mean, I I'm not close, but my brothers will tell me that you know, like my dad can get duped, and they're like, we had to lie to him and tell him he's not even allowed to go to this website that he could be arrested if he goes there.

SPEAKER_03 8:26

Yeah, but listen, the piece of advice, the easy way to explain it to anyone, and this goes for us, but especially like I told my parents this. Uh, I was like, look, you have to go into every social media situation and really now media situation, thinking this is not real, and then prove that, and then work backwards to prove it is real if it's something you care about or whatever. But you have to understand that like all these videos, because of the way how great it's gotten in Sora and how you know, all the you have to think it's not real first and then work backwards.

AI, Misinformation, And Verification

SPEAKER_02 8:56

And I think too, um man, media specifically, it's interesting. We are having kind of internal look, y'all. We're a I own a tourism-driven magazine that's like, you know, lifestyle, and it's really about like how do we shine a spotlight on these incredible, cool places maybe you've never heard of in the Southeast, um, in the lower 12 states. And like, we are still trying to hold ourselves to a very high standard of the type of content we're creating. And I look at the media landscape and I'm just like, whoa, you know, where are the regulations? Like, where is the accountability? And it is really difficult to know where to consume and how to get the truth.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

I always tell people, look, there are charts that will tell you very openly and honestly, like where things fall right to left, and you know, you can kind of choose based on that. Uh, and media bias maybe.com, whatever, one of those.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

And no, but seriously, we should say what that is.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Yeah, I'll find out for sure what it is. But usually right in the middle is the associated press. And I it's the only place I read my news, and then I'll hear something on MPR or whatever, and I'll kind of then go back and read it on the Associated Press. But news that you see on TV is entertainment, right? This is entertainment for profit news. They're saying things to keep you locked on that channel, whether it's CNN or Fox or MS Now or uh News Max or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

Everything is sponsored content. Everything. And I think that it that is something that we have to realize, especially from a social media standpoint, from a news, what you're consuming on TV or streaming, someone is paying.

Bias, Profit News, And Finding Sources

SPEAKER_03 10:37

And it's confirmation bias, right? Yes. So you're not holier than now if you're watching CNN as opposed to Fox, and you're not holier than now if you're watching Fox as opposed to MS now. It is all confirmation bias, entertainment, for-profit news. All of it. And you just have to, if you know that going into it, whatever. Some people say, Yeah, but I know that. I just like the my lean on this. Well, but you're not really then at the end of the day getting you know the full spectrum of the story.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

And the chan chances are, you know, truth these days is a very fluid thing.

SPEAKER_03 11:14

I no, I think the way it's talked about is fluid. I think truth is truth, and there's nothing you can do about that. Like the truth is there aren't alternative.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

But because of all the filters, right, but because of all the filters that content is getting is going through before it ever reaches you and your eyes and your ears, that's what I mean. It's already rolled through so many biases before it gets to you.

SPEAKER_03 11:37

Can you tell I'm passionate about this?

Compassion Without Overload

SPEAKER_01 11:38

I love it. Yeah, I do too. Our other topics, you're like, what in God's name is this? Not today, bitches. Um so what I'm hearing, well, okay, I remember being at a conference, and it was a lot of leaders in the meditation world, and it was an incredible conference. This is probably like 10 years ago. And one of the speakers was like, raise your hand if you watch the news, raise your hand if you avoid the news. And it almost sounded like he was going to give you a kudos for avoiding the news. Like, we're so chill, we don't need to do all that. And he was like, being aware of the news is an act of compassion, because you know, in the meditation world, in the world of Buddhism, like compassion, compassion, compassion. So I heard that as almost like legalistic. Like, if I'm not, if I don't know everything all the time, I'm not being compassionate towards humanity. So I mean, I was just hardcore, like absorbing everything. And by the way, I had like a two-year-old and a four-year-old, like not really a time to know every whole thing. Not the time. And then it wasn't even, this is pre-COVID. Shit hadn't even really hit the fan yet. Um, and then I learned that I can be educated and aware and maintain regulation. I do sometimes get dysregulated. And my newest, when I know I'm like in Kookie Land, is I have texted my ex-husband and we're really good friends. And I'm like, so what if we move to Denmark? And this is real. I'm like, I think we go to Denmark and let the kids have a cultural experience. You can be on European dating apps, I'm fine, and we will get out of here. And I remember when Obama was elected, who I was a huge fan of. I know that may come as a shock to some of you, but and people are like, I'm leaving this country. And I'm like, then get the fuck out. You know, and now I'm the one where I'm like, I feel really unsafe. I think this is all a bad idea here. Um, and when I get into my Denmark fantasy, um, there's a or the, you know, I have some French fantasy too, but um, when I'm there, I'm like, oh, I saw something that my eyeballs were not meant to see. And so to me, the regulation is by the way, in grad school, they aren't teaching you like, okay, when your client sees horrible thing after horrible thing after horrible thing on the news, and you're seeing it too, this is the best skill for that. They don't tell you this stuff, okay? So I'm pulling it out of my ass, like what to tell people. But what I have come to is choose wisely for you visual things, like I should not watch people being killed. I I don't think we are meant to. If I read a story about it, I can be educated, but I don't think I was meant to see that. Like, I can't even watch like CSI. Um I have a difficult time. Like, I cannot watch extreme violence, is it it's not good for me. We weren't made to see it or deal with it. So I know how to receive my news. And then I like um the daily, which is like that 30-minute podcast, because I feel like it gives me a little brief. And then I can go if I'm really interested in it, I can do more. And then the last thing, helplessness to me is one of the biggest themes. Like, you can't rescue all the dogs, you can't feed all the children, and your period products isn't directly attached to putting food on the table, but it's in alignment with it. So I think when we find something to do, it is a huge relief, even if it's not directly correlated. Like I can't defund ice.

Turn Outrage Into Local Action

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Right. My I what I know to be 100% true is that in my the last 10 years of what I would call serving alongside women who have a lot of purpose inside of them. If I see a woman who's spinning out, I'll show you a woman who hasn't figured out a way to utilize her gifts and to feel like she's purposefully moving through life, right? So if you feel like you're spinning out and the content you're consuming is stressing you out, like I know a person who is like really loves to debate with people on the opposite side of the political and will like get on a soapbox about what's called food insecurity. And then my question is always so what are you doing about food insecurity? Don't use that as a platform if you're not doing something. And so my thing would be find a cause. And if you, I always say, if you don't have money, you have time. If you don't have time, you typically have money. Like get involved, get your hands dirty. And if you don't have time, make time. Go find a way to serve. Take your children with you. You know, I think that the sooner we can do that, we can still feel and have compassion, like your guru at the meditation. We can have compassion, but I do think that if you feel like you're spinning, then find a place to put that energy that feels really good and like you are making an impact. Because again, I'm not gonna end all of poverty. There's no way we're not rescuing people from poverty, but we can do our part. What does that look like? And for me, it's I I have the ways that I'm doing it and I don't feel like I'm doing enough. I still want to figure out how do I do more, but I'm with you. Like, don't be on your soap dish. It was like the dish soapbox. Never correct me. I don't dish. I think you asked. I like soap dish. No question mark at the end. Uh, what is that saying? Anyways, I think that like if you find yourself talking about something and using it as a platform, but you're not giving your time or your money to it, I would not. That's I hate that. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

I saw something the other day, and I'm trying to find it, and it was opinion media. Uh, but I thought it was an interesting opinion. It was, and this is like parallel to what we're talking about. There's this idea that Americans are loving less. And I was like, I gotta know more. How are we doing this? Because, you know, I think we're all rude twats, like truly. Like, and I I'll save that for a different episode, but I think we've become rude. But um, our culture has led us into such autonomy and independence because of like phones and media and like build your own life. And like everyone used to have we've talked about the sitting on the front porch. That's not a thing anymore. Everyone's having like 10 kids. I mean, I am grateful for the reduction in numbers there. But this was why we're so independent and why it's a problem. My short answer would be that you can build a culture around loving commitments, or you can build a culture around individual autonomy, but you can't do both. And I was like, that is so brilliant because we're all so opinionated, and this is what I think, and I'm right, and you're wrong, and fuck off. That is not connectedness. So, to me, what you part of what you're saying is how do I connect into this? How do I connect with other people in generosity and love in community? And I might not change the world, but I can change me.

Choose Community Over Division

SPEAKER_02 19:19

Well, and if something's keeping you awake at night or making you want to go write your dissertation on Facebook or Instagram or fill in the blank TikTok Twitter or whatever it's called, X, um, TikTok Twitter. It doesn't matter. I I think it's it's always an invitation to do something with that energy. And like I would recommend to do something that will make a positive impact on people who are possibly really in need. That's one way to handle it. The other way to handle it is, and this is kind of the takeaway of this is like we shouldn't, and we are not advocating that we should put our head in the sand and not know anything. We want you to be educated, we want you to know what's going on in the world, but we also want you to regulate yourself. And you can't mom or dad or be a leader or show up and do your job well, or be a good friend if you're constantly arguing about all of the things that you're consuming. And there are absolutely apps for that, or mechanisms and gates that you can create for yourself if what you're consuming is putting you into this dysregulated state. I have apps on my phone that limit my screen time and keep me out of my social media in times when I need to be productive. And I would strongly recommend do your own research and pick one that you feel like works for you.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

No, I'll say do your own research can also go down the that's the line you hear all the time.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Do your own research.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

No, so I said I did my own research, and which means they watch YouTube videos usually, which is not great. Uh not always great. Here's the big thing for me, too, and I want to bring this up. Generally speaking, we all kind of want the same stuff, right? We are being divided by uh people that have an agenda to divide us, right? For power, for political reason, for monetary gain. If you talk to someone, if I talk to someone who is on the other side of the political spectrum for me, and we don't talk about any of those things, we're gonna get along. You know what I mean? Like we generally people. I know last episode we talked about a couple episodes ago about how weird everybody is, but we're all weird. We all want the same stuff at the end of the day. We're just being told that we're supposed to hate these other people and we'll be divided, we're being divided by these silly little arguments that it really don't, you know, mean much. People are voting on that, but then the actual ramifications are something huge, right? So that I would just say talk to your neighbors too. Just have like actual talks with your friends and neighbors.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

Oh, yeah, like make meaningful real life connections and find the things you do connect on and connect on those. Let's go analog, you know. Hey, Claire, have. Only a home phone for her children to use, and I've loved watching the Gus is the main user, it kills me. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 22:09

You're the one with a home phone.

Regulate, Reset, And Go Analog

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Yes. The one, literally, the last one. But like truly, and you said front porch. I'm a front porch girl. I love to have it. I'm so sad that it's like not warm enough to be front porch. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

I get the fireplace though. I should go out there.

SPEAKER_02 22:24

I think I'm gonna get one. I've just been trying to find the right team. No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

Like last year when it snowed, I sat out there with that little fireplace in the snow the whole few days.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

I love, but I will say, I love that idea. Like, let's go analog, and that's a great way to get regulated.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

And like just be nice to your therapists. We're like really busy after the holidays and everything's sad. And you know, we're doing our best.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

It is a and I think like we've talked about this. I know we talked about it a lot last year, that winter isn't is a time to be reflective. It is a time to like decide and set intentions. I think maybe you did a lot of stuff in January to like, I'm gonna do 800 things and my life is gonna be completely different. And chances are your life is probably not completely different by the time this episode is hitting you and sometime in February. Um, but instead, like, what does it look like for you to reset your intentions, reset your filters on what type of content you're consuming? Um, and take a look around at the people you're consuming too. If you want to make a list of something, make a list of some people that you feel like could make you better, sharpen you, that you admire, and ask them to coffee or ask them to come sit on your front porch if you have a nice heater like Will, or around your dining room table, feed somebody that you invite your neighbor over, you know, have a potluck. I don't know. Um, being in a new neighborhood, I'm like really inspired to be that is one way that I want to practice generosity this year is to cook as many dinners for people that I love or people I want to love in my house. You know, I'm anti-potluck, right? I know. I realized when I said it, and honestly, I am too. I was just kidding about potluck. Come over and I will feed you. Yes.

Trustworthy Tools And Final Notes

SPEAKER_03 24:17

So if you just Google media bias chart, here's the thing. It's it's made by this company called uh Ad Fontez Media, but it is seemingly pretty trustworthy. Here's the problem. So it almost looks like an A-frame house, right? When you see that one, you know that's it. There's some that like are in column. Basically, people now are such jerks. Now there are fake ones of these that are out.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

Yes. So if you just put in media bias chart, yes, there is this actual one that has the actual research involved in it from AdFortez uh media, but several others popped up. I was like, well, what's this one? And clicked on it, and of course it has like all the crazies as like reliable and all the actual I mean, I don't know why I'm shocked. I know, but it's so disappointing because I'd love to just tell people, like, oh, just just Google media bias chart, and there it is. And yes, there it is, but there are other ones there too. But if it looks like an A-frame house, you know, and has info wars on the far right, you know you've got the right one.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Perfect.

SPEAKER_03 25:15

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

And we're still filming uh in my chemical peel era. I didn't mention it on the front end of this episode, but um I think you can tell. I think it's pretty obvious, and um, I'm sorry about that.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

But it'll be me soon because I too will be getting a subscription, and we're looking for a sponsorship actually from what's the name of the company? Smart Skin. Thank you, Smart Skin and Homewood. We can't wait to be your number one advocates.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Before you cut bangs is hosted by Lara Quick and Claire Fearman and produced by Will Lockmany. Follow along with us everywhere.

Credits And Listener Support

SPEAKER_02 25:57

Please subscribe to the podcast. Find us on Instagram. We're constantly doing polls. We want to know what you think. And I know that you probably know this, but reviewing us and giving us five stars matters more than anything, and we are so grateful to have you here.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

We talk so much on the podcast about seeking therapy, getting help, finding resources. I would love to be able to help you with that. My website is up and running and beautiful. It is goodgrowthwithclair.com. So, whether you're in the state of Alabama or not, I want to be able to help direct you to the right resources. Goodgrowth with Claire.com.