Updated AF Collective
Welcome to the "Updated AF Collective," podcast where we celebrate the power and resilience of women.
Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations, and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life.
We believe that every woman has a unique strength within her, waiting to be unleashed.
Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver, or simply on your own personal journey, this podcast is for you.
Updated AF Collective
"Stripped" With Stacy Fayling
What if you could transform your life by embracing vulnerability and authenticity? Join us as we welcome back Stacy Fayling, an inspiring voice who originally hosted "She Wakes Up" and now returns to share her journey of significant life shifts and realignment. Stacy’s story is one of empowerment and courage, shedding societal expectations and guilt to follow her true passions. From her mental health struggles to single motherhood, Stacy opens up about the fear and empowerment of starting over, emphasizing the importance of pursuing what truly resonates with you.
Stacy takes us on a decade-long journey of self-discovery and growth, offering insights into her process of setting boundaries, journaling, and reflecting as key tools for personal development. She discusses her new podcast, "Becoming Stacy," a platform that symbolizes her commitment to vulnerability and realness. Whether you're navigating guilt, societal expectations, or the discomfort of growth, Stacy's experiences provide a relatable and inspiring guide for anyone on a path of personal transformation.
Finally, we explore Stacy's path to sobriety, delving into her motivations and challenges in breaking free from alcohol dependency. From the societal pressures to the profound physical and mental health improvements after quitting, Stacy shares practical advice and candid anecdotes. Her resilience and intentionality in maintaining sobriety offer hope and guidance for anyone looking to make healthier life choices. Tune in for a raw and authentic discussion that celebrates resilience, growth, and the power of reinvention.
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Hey guys, welcome back to Updated AF Collective, the podcast. I am your host, megan Wirth. Another episode, another week and another interview. I had to have her back. You guys, I have Stacey Failing back on Updated AF. She was my very first interview. When I first started this podcast. I had to have her on. She was the very first person I asked because I just felt like her and I connected when we first initially met virtually a while ago. I think we've known each other now for a year, maybe a little over a year, but I had to have her back on.
Speaker 1:So she originally was the host of she Wakes Up the podcast and her journey is incredible. And what she did with her journey is she used that platform, that podcast platform, to talk about her life openly. But it was more mental health, it was more her struggles as a single mom, it was just her journey of healing, just her journey of healing. So what happens when you're healed and you don't want to keep going down that path, you want to be more authentic and real in another way? Well, I'll tell you, you reinvent yourself to something that feels more aligned. It is okay to start something, to start a project, to start a podcast to start anything, your dream career, whatever it is. It's okay to start those things because in that season of life you are really feeling called to do so, but when it's time to change, it's time to change and that's what she did. She stopped what she was doing, she put a huge halt on the podcast and her life coaching and really I feel like she said she took a break. She took a break from everything, disconnected from social media, and then started over, realigned with something that felt more authentic to her and started a new podcast. And you guys will hear all about it in the interview that I sit down virtually because we don't live near each other. We sit down virtually and have that conversation.
Speaker 1:So there's a saying and I don't know who said it, so correct me if somebody out there if you know who said this, but I love the saying better to admit you walk through the wrong door than spend your life in the wrong room. I'm not saying that you know she wakes up wasn't a calling for her because it was. I mean, anybody can start something, for example, me in law enforcement. I had wanted to been a police officer my entire life, so when it no longer aligned with me and I knew that it was time. After 10 years, I knew that I needed to leave. I felt I mean, I personally felt bad about. I was like, did I pick the wrong career? Why did I put myself in this career if I really didn't like it? But that's not that I didn't love it, it's just that I grew out of it. And that's what happened with Stacey. She started something that her heart was set on and when it no longer fit the season of life that she was in, she stopped what she was doing and started over doing something that is currently more aligned to her. Right now, stop waiting for somebody to give you permission to stop what you're doing if it no longer aligns with you, because you are going to be absolutely miserable, absolutely miserable. It's better to just admit that it no longer fits your life than to stay in that room and be absolutely miserable. All right, guys. Thank you so so much for listening to this.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the updated AF Collective podcast, where we celebrate the power and resilience of women. Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life. I believe that every woman has a unique strength within her waiting to be unleashed. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver or simply on your own personal journey, this podcast is for you. Together, we'll share stories of triumph, discuss strategies for success and provide a supportive space for women to connect and grow. Get ready for real, authentic conversations that ignite your inner strength and inspire you to chase after your dreams fearlessly.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the Updated AF Collective. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. I am so excited because, if you guys remember, the very first episode or the very first interview that I ever did on updated AF was with this incredible woman. Her name is Stacy failing. You guys might remember her from the episode failing forward, and it I mean people loved that episode.
Speaker 1:So I, of course, I had to. I had to have you come back because of something that's really, really important that we want to talk about, I want to talk about, and as soon as you did this, you shifted and you started over and you started back to the basics. I needed to have you on and I'm not going to give away I want you to talk about it, but I'm not going to give it away yet what you did, but I love the idea of starting over, and so many women out there have that fear of starting over, thinking that they have to start completely over versus starting over from experience. Stacey, thank you so much for coming back on the on the podcast. I appreciate you, girl, so welcome to updated AF again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. It was so much fun the first time we did this, and so I wasn't even thinking honestly when I did this whole revamp that it was something that I was going to dive back into being on other people's podcasts, and so when you reached out, I'm like, oh, hell, yeah, hell, yes, I will do that.
Speaker 1:So thank you for having me and thinking of me, of course, so let's just get into it before we give away like what the shift was, because it is a huge shift. You came from the podcast. You were the host and creator and founder of she Wakes Up. Let's start from there. So you were very successful in your podcast. Let's talk about that.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, so that was actually not my first podcast. I had kind of dabbled in it before. No, but it was something. It was the one that I actually put all my effort into and was doing all the things correctly. You know, started to put in my copywriting and sending emails and just really diving into that having people on the show. So it was definitely a serious venture, whereas before it was just kind of like playing around and getting my feet wet.
Speaker 1:Oh, so this is your second one where you went all in, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So and honestly, it was one of those things that I just didn't commit to it. You know, I was really getting discouraged in the beginning because I didn't see, I didn't realize that podcasting is that slow to grow type of a platform and I was just getting discouraged. So I'm like, well, where is everybody at? You know, and I know you and I talked about that a little bit before we pushed record. But so, yeah, when I went into she Wakes Up it was like, all right, I'm going to do this, I'm going to just give it a year and I'm going to be consistent because that is super important with most things, but especially podcasting and just wanted to give it the year and see what happened. And if after a year I still felt that way, then it was going to be the end of the road.
Speaker 2:But it took off really quickly and the core thought behind that podcast was my background in just healing and coming out of a very toxic relationship and if you listen to the other episode on Megan's show, you'll know more of that story. But I'm really wanting to inspire women and show them that you know, I am an example and proof that you can get out of that situation and kind of the how. And so if you want me to go ahead and spill the beans on what I'm doing now and kind of where that shift happened is I. I took that podcast and I it just started to feel not right anymore and I know for a lot of women those feelings, especially if you're a multi-passionate person. It can feel right for a certain amount of time and then all of a sudden life changes. You know we go through these seasons and that's what happened to me and I felt a little sad and a little lost in this because last year was very successful, the podcast was very successful, um yeah, it was a good podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what's that? I said it was a great podcast.
Speaker 2:It was a really good one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was, and I had a lot of great people on there sharing their stories and just like raw, real emotional experiences, with some really crappy things. You were one of those guests on there sharing your vulnerability and um, so it was a really good space. And then the business ventures and the opportunities that came from that podcast were great as well, and in that season it felt right, it felt aligned. But coming out of such a busy year I really have had, like I took such a pause in my life and I was like what am I going to do? Because this, I don't want to keep forcing things. I don't want to feel this, just like I said, kind of lost, like I didn't, I didn't know if that's what I wanted to do anymore, and so I didn't even know if I was going to continue honestly with any of this entrepreneurship venture. So I was a little scared because I'm like I enjoyed it, but I just don't, I don't feel this anymore, and so I took time to just step away from everything and didn't force myself into ruminating all the things that I could create, because that's where I got lost.
Speaker 2:I'm like, okay, well, what's my next program, what's my next thing?
Speaker 2:And I just kept spitballing things and it just felt gross and so I threw it all away and it came to me out of it felt like nothing, but it was all those things leading up to that where I'm like I just want to be me. I am so tired of watching social media and feeling like I have to be doing the things that other entrepreneurs are doing, that I have in order to be quote unquote successful, that I have to follow this script and, um, you know, shell out all these programs and have this sort of like process or something that I have to sell or any. I'm like I just I just want to show up as me and whatever comes of that is going to come of that, but I don't want to do anything other than just be me, and since I've done that, it's felt so good. I don't have any any sense of overwhelm, any frustration, any like forced creativity that I feel the pressure to have to do to make money, and you know what it feels like. So that's where I'm at right now with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love that, because how many times do we get stuck in anything? It could be an entrepreneur career, it could be your dream career. It could be your dream career. You finally like for me, it was law enforcement. I wanted to be a police officer my entire life and I thought that's what I was going to do up until retirement. But I hit my 10 year mark.
Speaker 1:And then what happens when your career doesn't align with you anymore? You know like too many people get stuck in that where they feel guilty of like well, I need to stay into it, I need to keep going, I need to push through this, even if they're like everything inside of them is telling them like no, like this season's done. But a lot of people don't listen to that and they force it and that's when it like starts to affect your mental health. So when you got to that point of like feeling stuck and lost and you're like I don't want to do any of this anymore, this feels gross to me let's talk about, because I know you probably felt it too. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the guilt of like oh my god, I'm letting people down Because you had a big following.
Speaker 1:She Wakes Up was a great podcast. It was something that I listened to in the morning as I got dressed. It was like my little 20 minutes of motivation as I drank my coffee. And did you feel guilty at all? Like and I'm not saying that's like a good or a bad thing Like I feel like it's a natural human emotion of like, oh my God, am I letting people down? Although you're not, you're not letting anybody down, it's all mental. Did you talk about that? Like? Did you feel that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Um, surprisingly, not as much as I had felt that in the past and I think it's just because of where I am in my journey of healing myself and that is part of this podcast is that I am done.
Speaker 2:I am exhausted of feeling like I have to do all of these things for everybody else, and I'm showing up in this way for other people, but also for myself, first and foremost, and so when I'm doing this podcast, it's like a memoir in motion, is what I call it.
Speaker 2:It's like my, my blog, in a way of just sharing what is happening in my life in real time, because I know from experience of listening to other people and just being a mom and living in the real world and what we're seeing now in society, that I am living so much of what so many other people are living, and it's just not being talked about in the way that is raw and real, and it feels like so much of everything is scripted and filtered and, yeah, so I didn't feel I wanted to make sure that those people were still with me, though, and so I didn't just leave them high and dry Like there's there's some emails coming down the pipeline, that I have my whole subscriber list of just kind of like, where the hell did I go, what the hell is happening in my life, an update of what's going on, because I know that a lot of those people will also follow me over here, but I was also Megan in that too finding a little bit of misalignment with the people that I was being drawn to and vice versa.
Speaker 2:I was being drawn to and vice versa, and so I think that it's going to filter out for me and for the listeners. The people that are are meant to follow what I am doing for me, and I think some of the people we're following for the, the context, not necessarily the content, and this is just like this is me. So the people that are here to follow me are following me for me, not for the thing, not for the program, not for the freebie not, for you know what?
Speaker 2:I mean Like, and so I just feel so much more me showing up in this space and I know that it's just going to be more authentic. I don't know how else to put it, but For anybody, because I can.
Speaker 1:I can imagine like some people might having questions, like any women out there that are listening, and they're just like but how, how did you do that? How did you heal so that you didn't feel guilty Like you didn't feel like you were letting people down? And for you I know you've been on a healing journey and for anybody listening, how did you get to the point where you're just like F it. I don't care what anybody thinks. This is what I'm going to do, Because I know I had that guilt of leaving law enforcement and coming into entrepreneurship. You said, because of you were healed. Can you talk about what you did to heal yourself in order to make these shifts so flawlessly, pretty much?
Speaker 2:I'm glad that it looks like that on the outside. Doesn't feel that way over here.
Speaker 1:I'm doing it, I'm stripping down, I am going to do what I want. That lights me up, because that thing doesn't light me up anymore. And that's what I love about this conversation is because, like, I love to always think, okay, what are the listeners thinking? And I just like I love the word how, how did you do it? What did you do? Did you take a course? Did you go to therapy? Like, how did you get to this point? Cause, yeah, it does. It does look. I'm sure it's messy, but you made it look good.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you. Yeah, it's just been the last decade of me figuring myself out, um, paying attention to the way that things make me feel, um, paying attention to the people around me and how the people around me make me feel and, um, you know, being like the people. Pleaser, nurture. I'm a nurse, so that's what I do. I care, give, I'm a mom, for that's what my life work is.
Speaker 2:But, like so many of us, I just got so consumed with everyone else that in the last decade, I've begun to find myself through things like taking courses, putting myself in the room with other women, um, journaling a lot in the mornings, uh, doing a lot of reflection at the end of the day of, like what went well, what were some things like how I reacted to my spouse and my kids, and just really putting myself in check all the time, checking in with me every single day, and slowly started to learn what fueled me and what was depleting me, and doing more of the things that were filling me up and less of the things that were depleting me. And that also meant saying no to people that I used to always say yes to, and having those hard conversations, losing people, losing jobs, just the hard things that are very uncomfortable, but one of the most recent things that I read. I'm an avid reader. I love self-help books. That was a part of the process too. Was just that? Oh, I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 1:I got. You're doing great how we got to be healed yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, oh, I know the book too. That's what's frustrating, but I'll come back to it. But anyway, it's just really tuning into me and finally giving myself that permission to just be okay being a little selfish. Yeah, I don't know. I hope that answered it. No, that's not like a one thing. It's not an overnight thing by any means. It is very messy and ugly and I do ugly cry in the shower at least once a month. It's healthy. It's healthy ugly cry yeah.
Speaker 1:So listening to Sade in the shower. I mean, I may know that from experience, but that's how like, dare I say it, becoming Stacey. Your newest podcast, like, was like created because it's like so explain what it means becoming Stacey because, like, I saw or I listened to your first episode of your new podcast and I was like confused by the name in the best way I was like, but she's always been Stacey, so why is she becoming Stacey? Explain that, please.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a really good perspective. I really like that. Um yeah, becoming Stacey is you know. I talk about the seasons, I talk about the journey and for me this journey is forever. For the rest of my life I will always be on this path to becoming a better, different, changed version of myself, because I think a lot of us fight that resistance. We just want to be the same person. We're afraid of that change. And that brings me to that whole piece of that I lost my train of thought on was being so comfortable with the discomfort in our life is where that growth and that change happens. And I've stopped resisting that. I've stopped.
Speaker 2:When I feel a sense of discomfort or something's getting a little uncomfortable, I really ask myself why. And a lot of times it's because it's the next step for me. I'm just afraid because I don't have the answers. I don't know where it's going to lead me. I don't know how I'm going to get there. Even I don't even know if it's because you've never been there. You've never been there. Of course it's scary a little bit of who I was, but continuously shedding these layers of myself as I go through everything and I can't tell you, you know what episode 100 is going to look like, because I don't know where I'm going to be when I record episode 100. But I will tell you that throughout this podcast, it's going to be me becoming me better, different, changed, healed, sad, happy as life, whatever it gives me, that's how I'm showing up.
Speaker 1:And I love the fact with like nobody's opinions, nobody's expectations by your own, no course to sell, unless you wanted to put out a course. No book to write, unless you wanted to put out a book Like I feel write unless you wanted to put out a book Like I feel. Like, like you just said, as content creators, as podcasters, as anything that you put out on the internet, on social media, there's an expectation. It's exhausting because I don't even fall into that because I don't have time. I'm a mom.
Speaker 1:They say like you need to be constantly posting things on social media. It's a numbers game and I'm like I don't want to just put out crap. I want to put out something that's actually going to educate something or somebody who needs to hear it, but then it's not going to get that many views and likes because I'm not putting out extra stuff like fluff content, content that has nothing to do like outfit of the day, Like it cares that I'm wearing the same yoga pants that I've been wearing the last seven days, Like nobody wants to see that, it's just crap. But a lot of people do that because it's like we have to maintain all of this extra shit in order to get more listeners on our podcast or to create more engagement to sell a course or something like that. It's exhausting and, like you said, you were done with the rat race.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it is very exhausting and that was something that I the resistance that I was going against for such a long time is that I got really sick of feeling like I had to show up and do all the things.
Speaker 2:I had to do those things because that's what I was seeing everybody else doing who was successful, and that was again my perspective of what that looked like. And it just it never felt good, even when I was trying to do that and but yeah, that's what a lot of my coaches were telling me, that's what all of my you know, all my friends that were in the space entrepreneurs is like well, you have to at least do that. And some of it felt good and a lot of it didn't, and so I just got really tired of it because I didn't enjoy it from the beginning and it really wasn't giving me the results that I was hoping for anyways, and I think that's because I was forcing it so much that it shows, you know, when your heart isn't in something and it's not really for you, you're doing it for other people in a way that isn't really what feels good to you. People know that. You know that is a prime example, as you, girl.
Speaker 1:you just said something that is a prime example for again anybody listening. Laurel, you just said something that is a prime example for again anybody listening. You have to follow your own blueprint. When you attach yourself to somebody else and you do what they're doing, you think that their life path is what you should be doing too, and not being authentic to yourself. It's not going to feel good, it's going to feel wrong, you're going to feel misaligned. But when you go into the path that you were given everybody is born with a blueprint and when you go with your blueprint, you follow your little internal GPS you're going to succeed. It's going to feel better. It's going to feel less forced.
Speaker 1:We are not meant to be all the same. We were given a completely different personality identity from the person to the left and right of us for a reason. Follow your internal GPS, because if you don't, it's gonna happen like that. You know what I mean. Like, I feel like, and it's okay to attach yourself to somebody who's doing what you want to be doing because they're successful at it, but make sure you put your own spin on it. Don't try to reinvent the wheel, but make sure you're being authentic to you. Put your own spin on it. Don't try to reinvent the wheel, but make sure you're being authentic to you. It's a fine line, and I feel like so many people will attach themselves to somebody who's very successful doing what you want to be doing, but they think they have to do it exactly like that person. I mean, isn't that what happened? Is that like kind of what happened to? She wakes up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little bit. And being multi passionate, I always in the beginning, I looked at it as a bad thing. Over time, I realized that that's just a part of my blueprint and that I can work with those things. You know, it's like somebody having a diagnosis rather than looking at it as a hindrance, and something like ADHD, for example, is very common. For example, is very common Finding a way to make it work for you where it might not work for other people. But that's okay, this is your thing, that you get to decide how you're going to show up with it, because this is a part of you and this is how you have to move forward. And so using those things to work with you rather than against you has been really helpful. And so in the beginning, yeah, it felt very much like that, but it got a little better.
Speaker 2:I started to pay attention to those things that I was gravitating towards, and why. Because I was a very spontaneous purchaser, where somebody that I had been following for a really long time had this new thing and it was like shiny object syndrome, where I would just go because I don't know. My brain was like, yes, do it, and you know I'd invest in it and or sometimes I would do the thing and then not even get, you know, 15% of it done. Um and so just starting to evaluate, like, why do you keep doing that, Stacey, you are wasting time, You're wasting money. No, you're not going to do the thing. Um money, you know you're not going to do the thing, Just focusing on what it was that I was doing. So when I talked to you about getting to know myself, that was part of it. It's just like checking in. Why are you doing this?
Speaker 2:And it was just that I felt like I was missing out. I needed to do what my friends were doing in this space, because they said that, you know, they ranted and raved about how it was so helpful for them, but they're different. They were doing in this space because they said that, you know, they ranted and raved about how it was so helpful for them, but they're different. They were doing different things. But I still felt like I had to keep up. I had to show up in the space. You know, I had to do what was hot and what was, you know, trending and whatever, and it never felt good. It never felt good. So why does I kept? I just I don't know why I kept doing it, but I did for a really long time, felt good.
Speaker 1:So why does I kept? I just I don't know why I kept doing it, but I did for a really long time. So let's talk about becoming Stacy the podcast, your first episode. Everybody needs to go listen to it right now. After you get off this, after you get done with this episode, she's in the bathtub her first episode, and I love that. I love that you are in a bubble bath and you're like this is as vulnerable as it gets people. Let's talk about that, like what was the uh, what was the reasoning behind it?
Speaker 2:Um, I just felt it. I was um thinking, you know, leading up, I knew I was going to be doing this podcast and I'm, like you know, trying to plan in my brain when am I going to sit down and actually do the first episode.
Speaker 2:And, um, as I was sitting there, I'm like I felt it. I felt what I wanted to say just coming and I'm like I got my phone right here, I'm just going to, I don't even care, and I did. I just sat there and I was so relaxed and it just flew out naturally, um and yeah, in my most vulnerable and I was like listen, this is. There is no better way to show my listeners that I am just showing up as me, as is then being right here in the bathtub with my first episode. So just something that came to me was not planned, and sometimes the best things happen that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, then talk about what is going to be. I guess, like so you said it's like a memoir, or what is this podcast going to be about? Is it going to be about you just talking about your life, or are you going to be giving some sort of like educational podcast episodes on how to be authentic? Like what is the basis of the podcast, I guess?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a good question. So, yeah, it is a memoir of me but, like I said, it's things that we, a lot of us, you know the listeners are going to resonate because they're going through this and so it's going to be. You know people that are in similar seasons or, you know, experiencing similar things. So I'm going to talk about, you know, motherhood, because I have a teenager and a six-year-old son, and so there's a lot of content right there. But, like my last episode is, I get so many questions just from posting on social media about my workout routines and like what I'm eating, what I, you know I'm taking supplements and things like that. So those types of things, the things that other people are having conversations with me about off the mic and talking about the raw and real of you know life as a working mom and those times when I butt heads with my husband and how I work through those things to just help give people little nuggets of one, just that reminder that you're not alone in this. We all have kids. That, like I just had my six-year-old son come in here and try to interrupt our recording. You know, like just real life, that you're not alone, and this is what has helped me overcome this. This is what has helped me in my fitness, health and wellness journey. This is what has helped me show up as my authentic self.
Speaker 2:So it's not anything specific Like she wakes up was more focused on the healing and mental health. Yeah, yeah, mental health, and there will be bits and pieces of that too. But, like I said, I don't know what episode 100 is going to look like, cause I just don't know where I'm going to be in that space. But, wanting to keep it relevant to the women and people that are listening to it, that are going to be in a similar season as me and having similar aspirations, you know like they want to be, they want to feel well, they want to be healthy. You know we're all trying to be good moms, but just like what does that look like? You know just things like that.
Speaker 1:I like that. You made a comment on your first episode and you said I went back to the basics. And I love that you say that, because I felt like I did the same thing when I left my nine to five and I had to start over and discover who I was. I had to go back to the basics. What? What does it mean to go back to the basics, to strip it all away? What, like what did that look like? For you? I guess it's a good question. It's like what did going back to Stacy look like? Was it dark? Was it easy? Was it hard? Was there a lot of crying involved? Like, what was it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, um, a little bit of all of that um, self-healing and reflection.
Speaker 2:I don't, and I never have gone to counseling, but I have a very good, close, small support group of people that I can share some intimate things with that help me just kind of talk out loud.
Speaker 2:Um, I am very in my head all the time and, just like I said, content, um, continuously just reflecting and asking myself questions and um.
Speaker 2:So sometimes that does get dark because there is a lot of my past and in some trauma and things that I'm still working through. But I've been able to understand myself enough to help myself up out of that, and so the going back to the basics was me at my core and what drives me, like I said, what, paying attention to what feels good doesn't feel good um, having those hard conversations with myself, even if they were a little bit, you know, darker or sad, um, but that's me right. And in order to be raw and real, like, I have to know who I am so that I can show up as me for everybody else um, and taking away everything that was complicated and felt gross. So that's why, when I say right now, I'm not offering anything other than my podcast, I do want to do some emails and just get back to the basics of nurturing the people that I'm here to serve, and that just means being me.
Speaker 2:And it feels really good because I don't have to worry about how I show up. I started a YouTube because I'm like I just want to have a video component, which I never had on. She wakes up before and just showing up as me, like, however it is. The other day I recorded, um, I had like no makeup on. I was getting ready to go to the lake. I had my hat on backwards. I just got out of the shower, like I just want to keep showing up like that.
Speaker 1:So back to the basics.
Speaker 2:it is what you get, this and that's what you get. Yeah, you get what you get and don't complain?
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, but you also did some things for yourself too, and correct me if I'm wrong. You stopped drinking and so you, you, just when you, when I, when I think of going back to the basics, it's hitting the reset button. You stopped drinking alcohol and did you take take a social media break for a while. Like I said, I kind of did the same thing recently. I had to hit the reset button on my life and I stopped drinking. I took a break from social media where I told myself I'll post something, but I'm not going to scroll. I don't start scrolling. Maybe if a friend's picture is the first thing that pops up when I do go to post something, I'll like it, but that's the extent of it. So did you do those little tiny things just to kind of like, refocus your center on yourself?
Speaker 2:Yeah, social media is one of those things where I don't spend a lot of time, but I do. I scroll, that is something, but I don't for me. I don't find it problematic taking away time, you know, to do other things and things like that. So not so much. But as far as like an entrepreneur, yes, I stepped away from you know, having to post things just for the sake of posting things. Um, I unfollowed some people that gave me that sense of um, just like comparison, and it wasn't because I didn't support what they were doing, it wasn't because we had a new beef, it was just like you gave me an uncomfortable feeling. That doesn't make me feel good for me. So I'm, yes, oh, I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has nothing to do with them, it's us, and that's okay Sometimes too.
Speaker 1:Like and people shouldn't take offense to that, like it has nothing to do with them. It's us, and that's okay sometimes too, and people shouldn't take offense to that. It has nothing to do with you. It's just what I'm going through personally. Oh, I love that You're giving so many other people permission to do that same thing right now. I guarantee it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm very non-judgmental and I get along with most everybody, so I don't ever want to have that bad vibe. It's just I have to do me Um, and that's one of those hard things that I've had to learn how to do that and be okay doing that Um, because if you take it personally, that's on you, that's not on me, you know, and that's not a, it's not a bad thing. I'm not trying to be a bad person for saying that. It's just like, that's just how it is. And the alcohol thing, it's just. That was my one thing, like I don't really have anything else. Quote unquote bad.
Speaker 2:And if you drink, I'm not saying that you're bad, but for me it was not where I wanted to be anymore with. I just felt like again a lot of the reason why I was drinking and drinking. I just felt like again a lot of the reason why I was drinking and drinking. What I was drinking, how much I was drinking, was very social and so I felt like again I was doing it for other people, not for me, and getting to be almost 40. And as a nurse, like I pay attention to my, my health and wellness and I'm on this path to wanting to live for a really long time and wanting to be healthy and not, you know, look as old as I am or feel as old as I am. And so just reevaluating my own health, and I got my blood work done and it came back great.
Speaker 2:But it was the anticipation of wondering what are the things that I'm doing in my life and how are they contributing to my health? And if I were to get bad news, I would see how I would feel, knowing that I had control because of the way that they, you know, showed up. And so it was a reality check of like what if? And now is not too late, now is the time to make those changes, because there might come a time 10, 20 years, if you continue this behavior that those labs aren't going to come back. So good, and I have a family to think about.
Speaker 2:I don't want to leave this planet prematurely just because I decided to choose alcohol over more important things. So that was like a I had to do it for me because I knew that. What is that quote? Like you, it's what you, you fear, what you don't do versus what you do do, kind of a thing. It's not exact, but it's kind of the gist of it and that's where I was at was just like I don't want to have that regret. Um, and so that was a conscious decision that I had to make, and not an easy one. That's probably the biggest thing that I've ever struggled with, yeah, especially socially.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, only because I feel like it's what we do here in the States. I can't speak for other countries, but here in the States everything is alcohol related. I mean, you can't go anywhere without there being a bar and I used to think it was great when I was drinking um that the indoor playgrounds here in Texas all had a. I had a wine bar and I mean, don't get me wrong, I used to be that girl. I'm trying so hard. I'm two weeks sober only because, like you, I was seeing like the effects of it.
Speaker 1:I was breaking out really bad, getting a lot of weight. It was affecting my mental health. And I remember this guy I went to this conference two years ago and this guy he's a health coach and he made a comment. You know, he's like most people are disease free but symptom full. I was symptom full. Eventually those symptoms are going to turn into a disease and I could see it. There's a reason why my skin was breaking out because of alcohol. It's because my body's having a negative effect on it and I was like you know what, enough is enough. One of these days, like you just said, I'm going to get some really bad news and it's going to be my fault.
Speaker 1:My little tiny habits my glass of wine at night, my socially drinking on the weekends with my friends was going to catch up with me. And I don't have time for that. I'm a mom. We don't have time to get sick. I don't even have time. I joke. I don't have time to die. I don't have time. There would be so many things that need to get done if I was dead and they just wouldn't get done.
Speaker 1:I love the fact that you, that you're doing that and you're open with it too, and I haven't. This is the first time. I've talked about it but nobody knows. Nobody knows that I haven't drank anything and it's. And it's hard because people want to go out and grab a glass of wine, they want to go grab a beer, and when everybody's doing it around you, it's hard Because yesterday, for example, like running into a friend, like oh, let's go grab a drink, I'm like I want to, so bad. But I have to prove to myself like, no, we're going to see this through.
Speaker 1:It's a discipline that, oh my gosh, it's hard. It's hard to break. But I mean, you were inspiring. I remember when you started talking about it on social media. I was like gosh, like I wish I was like that disciplined, and now I'm going to show myself that I can be that discipline. So I have a question before I let you go what are you doing now to stay Stacey? What are you doing differently that you weren't doing before that you don't misalign this time around or you don't fall off track? Do you have a morning routine? What is Stacey doing to maintain this? Because that's what it is Every single day. I feel like I have to do this too, and it's so hard. We have to be intentional about our time and our day and how we spend it, or we can fall back off track. Are you doing anything that you can share with the listeners?
Speaker 2:Yeah, first of all, I just want to say congratulations, because I do know in the first 30 days was really hard for me. So to be two weeks, that's amazing. It is not an easy thing and I would love to have another conversation exclusively about this, because of how society views alcohol and social drinking and it's really hard, like you're the outcast for not drinking. So I get that and I just want to celebrate you because two weeks is awesome.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Yeah, and girl, we can totally have a conversation about that, because I've been documenting my mood swings, because I'm so used to having that glass of wine at six o'clock every single evening and I've noticed I have like crazy mood swings because I'm not having my glass of wine, and we can definitely go back and talk about things like that for anybody that's also interesting, interested. They are what's it called Sober curious. There's side effects.
Speaker 2:So when you are breaking a habit, I just I got like a little idea of just having you on my podcast to talk about that Cause that's something that I've wanted to talk about. I just haven't had the, I just haven't recorded, so I would love to have you on and have that conversation because I got you girl. There's so many more, like I said, it's just, you know, having those conversations about what other people are going through or might be thinking, and just putting it out there. So, um, but as far as what I'm doing to stay on track is being accountable, knowing that other people are watching me, and my accountability, um, and not just social on social media, but like the people around me that I have conversations with. And my daughter was like bragging to her friends about like, um, and I didn't have a problem to where it was apparent or that I wasn't able to, you know, like a functioning alcoholic or whatever. Um, it wasn't to that.
Speaker 2:No, and I love that you said that I was doing in the evening. You know what I mean, you don't?
Speaker 1:have to hit rock bottom in order to make that change. I love that you. I didn't mean to cut you off my ADHD bananas, but I love that you said that you do not have to hit rock bottom in order to make a drastic change. Okay, people, stop giving yourself permission to hit rock bottom and have a spiritual awakening. You don't need to go there. If you recognize it, you can make the change. I'm sorry, sorry, stacy.
Speaker 2:Continue. No, that's perfect. That's such a great point because, yeah, why wait until it gets that bad, right? Um, but yeah, just like my daughter bragging to her friends, it just makes me feel good, like that's. I'm so happy that she's noticing that and also taking pride in the importance of that and what that means for us and um, so just having that accountability and how I feel is a great way to help me stay on track, because I noticed, like you, I'm, you know, tracking different things and after you get over that hump, it's like I sleep so much better. Um, I am not carrying around extra bloat, like my gut health is regulated Just so many different things that I've noticed in my health alone. Um, I do journal every morning, I do read all the self-help books I read every day and I work out like I have.
Speaker 2:You talked about discipline and that's really what it is.
Speaker 2:It's having a reason and a purpose for something better, and so, like I said, I want to just become better me every single day, and the only way that I can do that is to continue on this path that I'm on and even when I do have days where eating the piece of birthday cake or, um, you know, not working out or having that glass of wine and I just stopped beating myself up because I know that I'm strong enough to continue on tomorrow and that this little step off my path is just life and that's OK and that as long as I don't continue to go down that path, right, that I'm going to be OK.
Speaker 2:I'm going to pick myself up and I'm going to do better tomorrow on whatever that looks like, and so not feeling so strict and having all this pressure to be you know, do this thing perfectly every single time, but just trying to be the best version of me that I can today and some days that's less than it was yesterday. Hormones are real, life is real Kids and work and everything gets thrown at you all the time. So you're not always going to be running on a hundred percent, and that's okay. But that just means that you know I'm going to give myself a little bit more tomorrow. I'm going to give myself grace today because I need it, and that's okay. So that was a hard thing to learn too, but that's what keeps me going is knowing that I'm still going, even when I feel like I've regressed a little bit. I'm still going.
Speaker 1:I love it. Girl, you're amazing and, like I said everybody, after you get done with this episode, you need to go check out Becoming Stacey. With Stacey Failing, you're not going to regret it. Just listen to the first episode, thank me later and then make sure you leave her review.
Speaker 1:I mean, you're not starting over, you're starting with experience and that's the one thing I love about your podcast is like you already know what you're doing. You're being raw, you're being real and you're doing it this time on your own terms and people are gonna resonate with that. You're not sugarcoating shit. You are showing up authentically, in real and just saying what you feel. You're saying just how it is and I know there's going to be a lot of people out there that are going to want to listen to that. They're going to want to listen to authenticity. There's a lot of fake stuff going around right now Photoshop and just people that are. It feels a little scripted sometimes when you're listening to a podcast, but not yours. You're literally in a bathtub on your first episode. I hope there's more episodes of that, because I felt like that. It was just flowing. It was just flowing and I like that, so can we expect more bathtub episodes?
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course, and now that you've given me the inspiration and permission to do that, I absolutely will. But I've been thinking about that too. I want to just do like on the fly episodes. You know we all have our phones all the time. So even if you don't have a podcast, like little voice memos to yourself of an idea, or you know something that somebody said to you or something, just keep those things because you just never know the right time is going to come to use those. And I need to do like when I'm out for a walk or something. You know, if I have that inspiration, I will, regardless of where it is.
Speaker 1:So we look forward to hearing more amazing, real, authentic episodes. Stacey, thank you so much for being on updated AF. Once again, I appreciate you. You're absolutely amazing and this conversation has been so fun. I feel like that's why I'm so interrupty. It's because I'm like, yes, girl, it's so bad, so I apologize for that, and all of my listeners are like, wow, megan's really rude. But no, if you know the backstory, me and Stacey we met in a mastermind that she was giving a long time ago and she gave me permission to even start this podcast. So a lot of you need to be thanking her. But uh, so no, I don't mean to be rude, I just love Stacy so much and thank you for letting me interrupt you so many good points.
Speaker 2:So thank you, girl, for being on the show and I will uh, we'll have to sit around my podcast with our mocktails and have that conversation and I look forward to it. And you can be as interrupty as you need to be.
Speaker 1:Good Cause I've already been on Pinterest and I have a whole Pinterest board of mocktails. I'm not kidding. We'll have to share our recipes and what works and what doesn't work, Cause some of them do not work um, on your, on your podcast.
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