Updated AF Collective
Welcome to the "Updated AF Collective," podcast where we celebrate the power and resilience of women.
Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations, and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life.
We believe that every woman has a unique strength within her, waiting to be unleashed.
Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver, or simply on your own personal journey, this podcast is for you.
Updated AF Collective
Cutting Ties With The Past
This episode focuses on the necessity of letting go of past attachments to embrace personal growth and transformation. We discuss the value of community support, the harmfulness of having a “Plan B,” and the power of self-empowerment in realizing our dreams.
• Exploring the role of masterminds for entrepreneurs
• Sharing life stories for deeper connections
• The struggle of transitioning states and identities
• The insight that others aren’t as concerned as we believe
• The danger of maintaining a backup plan
• Embracing all-in commitment for success
• Understanding that failure is part of the growth process
• Celebrating the journey of self-discovery and empowerment
• Inviting listeners for engagement in writing projects
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Meg
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Hey guys, welcome back to Updated AF Collective. The podcast the only podcast that I know of that kind of forces you to kind of get your shit together. I am your host, megan Wirth. Again, I feel like that's the direction of this podcast. That's the direction I'm trying to take. It you know, a little bit of law of attraction, a little bit of manifestation, but also some motivational content where I give you a friendly kick in the ass to just go after what you want, just go after it, and that kind of leads in today's conversation.
Speaker 1:I hope she doesn't she doesn't like take offense to this, but I'm in this like amazing, amazing class and this like online course that I've taken this mastermind, if you will, called quantum catalyst, with Stephanie Keith. I know I had her on the podcast talking about this mastermind and what I love about these masterminds is it attracts people from all over the world, right, all over the world, but like minded people, so you have some stuff in common, right, all over the world, but like-minded people, so you have some stuff in common, right, so they're not complete strangers. At least you don't feel like they're strangers when you're in those like live calls with the other girls, because you all kind of think the same way, you all have kind of the same mindset and at the end of the day, we all kind of have the same life goals, just different. Just, you know, a little different. Obviously, everybody wants different things. We don't want the same thing, but we all have that one goal of bettering ourselves and learning how to become better versions of ourselves, put ourselves out there and all that fun stuff, right? So I'm in Quantum Catalyst. Yesterday morning we had a group call and I live for these group calls. Let me tell you like I haven't missed a single one and I don't plan on missing a single one, because they're just that good and I always walk away with another.
Speaker 1:I guess like a different train of thought or another perspective. It just opens my mind up to like a lot of things, especially being an entrepreneur, being self employed. I feel like we're a little isolated at times and so I don't get to hear other people's point of views or have those like conversations, you know, like the conversations that make you think like never thought about that, but then also having the opportunity of sharing you know what? I know my life experiences with somebody on the opposite side of the country or the world, and I live for that. I love it. I love those hard conversations that most of us keep to ourselves and we don't share it with our friends and family because, like we think we're dumb or we're overreacting or being dramatic or anything like that. So, like again, like that's why I love these masterminds like, get into a mastermind.
Speaker 1:Um, I think it might be too late to join Stephanie Keith's, but just slide into her dms, I'm sure she'll love it anyway. So yesterday morning a girl came on and she had a very similar story than mine and it was one of those where, you know, she left her state to move to another state and you know, she still has ties to her old state and she can't figure out, or she doesn't understand or like doesn't know, or doesn't feel comfortable enough to kind of like cut ties with her previous state because she owns businesses and all that fun stuff, like so she, but she doesn't know what to do with it because she doesn't feel aligned to go in that direction. She doesn't feel like that's her life path. She thinks that, you know, in her new state she needs to focus on what's going on in front of her, but she's so worried about everybody around her at her old state, like relying on her to keep going and to focus on her past self versus what she is actively trying to become in this new state that she's in. And I was like holy shit like that. That was me. That was me, like three years ago, like, and I so like. I was like holy shit like that. That was me. That was me, like three years ago, like, and I so like. I was like she had my attention 110% and listening to her speak about how, you know, like, her old life doesn't align with where she's going. The new version of her, the growing version of her, belongs. You know where she's presently at and that's where she wants to just take off. And you know she she's has that fear of like, okay, like, so many people rely on me.
Speaker 1:And Stephanie said something that I, you know, I feel like it's always been in the back of my mind, but she put it in a way that was so profound that something clicked. I honestly think and this is coming from Stephanie, I'm paraphrasing here. So she made the comment that, like and hopefully I'm getting this right, right, people don't care that much. They're going to figure it out. So when you cut ties, you know they're adults, they're going to figure out a plan B, they're going to grow. If anything, it's going to force them to kind of grow. And again, like I'm paraphrasing here, but this is how I kind of took it, but, you know, if it no longer aligns with you, there's a good chance that, like when you do cut ties with the people that you left behind, they'll figure something else out, or the universe or God will kind of just take care of them, you know, through, like causing them growth, causing them to kind of expand or to venture out and do something different.
Speaker 1:But and I thought about that, hopefully this makes sense, hopefully I'm explaining this properly but that just like people don't care as much about what you do than how you make it in your head and I'm not saying they just don't care about you in general and they're being mean and they're nasty or whatever, it's not that. It's just like they're like okay, no worries, she wants to go, do that, I'm going to support her anyway, kind of thing. It's okay, I'm going to be okay. You know, like so it was that we make it way worse in our head. We get into our own head and make it way worse, to the point where it like limits us. And it's like keeping a small in this little container, thinking that, oh my God, I have to like run around, take care of everything, take care of everybody, and I can't grow and I can't expand.
Speaker 1:And that's where I kind of chimed in a little bit. I was like look like from one girl who's done something very similar to another one, it sounds like. And I told her you know, like you have this plan B. It's almost like it's not the people that are keeping you from like expanding and growing in the new space that you're at, but it's kind of like you're in your own head because you're afraid if I failed this one thing, then I can always go back. And that's where I mean when I still was a police officer in Southern California, I used to tell myself all the time when I was still there. I would tell myself like I can always go back, it's not a big deal, so I'll go to Texas and I'll do ABC and if, for whatever reason, I have to come back to California and be a police officer, and that's fine, right. And I told her I was like it kind of sounds like you have that plan B, and the problem with plan Bs are that they muddy the water, and I'll get into that for just a second. But think about it. I had to cut ties. I had to. I mean, I sold my house, I quit my job, like I moved to a new state and I started completely over and I told myself I'm going to succeed here. I cut my plan B out of the equation and I focused on putting everything that I have into this one thing here in Texas.
Speaker 1:Because when you go into something half-assed, I feel like having a plan B makes it so you kind of half-assing what you're trying to do or put yourself all in, go all in on. I feel like it definitely muddies the waters. It confuses the universe, especially when you're trying to manifest this new version of yourself. It muddies the waters. It's like okay, well, do you want it or do you not want it? Do you want to go back? Do you want to go be a police officer again or whatever? You know like it's very confusing.
Speaker 1:And I mean I do that a lot in other aspects of my life, especially when it comes to dating. There'll be days where I'm like, oh man, I really wish like could put myself out there and date again and I kind of miss going on dates. And then there's days that I wake up and I'm like, oh God, I can't even imagine dating. I can't even imagine being next to somebody at all times and dealing with their crap and their drama. I go back and forth and I honestly feel like that's why I've been single for almost seven years is because I muddy the waters thinking that way. Can you imagine starting over in something and thinking that like, okay, well, I can go back, it's not a big deal. Okay, well, now today I'm gonna go all in. And then the next day you're like no, I don't know, there's something wrong. People rely on me. Those like doubts and fears. And I honestly feel like she still is doubting herself and has those fears in her new state. Because, yeah, you're growing.
Speaker 1:It's painful and it and it's comforting to think that you have this like security blanket back in your old state, with your old self. And what really helps me is I always like I have to remind myself, like when I start questioning things, or when I start wanting to backtrack, or like make myself small and and kind of like again, like have that plan B, of like, if this fails, I'm going to do this, and I'm not talking about pivoting because things are going to fail. You are going to fail and you learn from those and you pivot. I'm talking about going back to your old self, your old ways, your old habits, hell, your own state. So I'm not talking about pivoting You're going to fail. Failure is a part of success. What you do with that failure heavily relies on your success. Like I said, you can learn from it, pivot and then keep going. But what happens?
Speaker 1:I feel like with a lot of people who fail and then completely give up, they go back to what they were doing prior, or they act with how they were, you know, prior to that. They go back to their old ways. They go back to their old self and they say, well hell, I tried and it didn't work for me, so must not be for me, right? That's where a lot of people go wrong and that's where I, you know, I kind of shared my story with her because, shit, she seems happy. She's just conflicted and I could just see the look on her face just kind of screamed like a little bit of afraid, definitely concerned about the people around her, which is great, right, she's compassionate.
Speaker 1:But when Stephanie said like they don't care as much as you think they care, I was like I love it. I love that we we always make things a hell of a lot worse in our own minds than it actually is in reality. I've done that also a couple times where I always thought, you know, I'm going to end up on the street or I'm going to do this, we're not going to have any power in the house, like I've always made things a hell of a lot worse. And when I tell you like it's never been that bad, it has never been that bad. When I was a kid, you know this shit was bad. Um, but now, as an adult, I have the control. I have the control to keep the power on to pay the mortgage to. You know, make sure there's food in the kitchen to like, if I don't have enough money, make money, find money, right, there's ways to get money.
Speaker 1:And now that I'm in control, you know my limiting beliefs from my childhood like kind of creep back in and I'm like, oh my gosh, like no, that's not even me. I don't, I'm not the person. You know. That was young, I guess, like as a kid. You know, having all those like traumatic experiences, like I'm not that, I'm not that person, I'm in control, and I always made things a hell of a lot worse in my head and they were never that bad.
Speaker 1:So and that's again like what I love about these calls is somebody's going to say something that hits you in a way that hasn't before. You know, I'm sure I've heard it, I'm sure somebody somewhere along this line of you know being an entrepreneur and going to all these like I go to a lot of conferences and I go to a lot of networking events and I'm sure I've heard it before of people saying, like stop caring what, what other people think they don't care that much, you know. Like, keep pushing, it's going to be fine. But when Stephanie said it in a combination with what the other girl was talking about with her story, it absolutely clicked.
Speaker 1:We are always making things way worse than they actually are. A lot of people actually don't care, a lot of people aren't looking at you, a lot of people, you know they're grown adults, they'll figure it out. But we have to keep growing. We have to keep growing Because if you're not growing, you're staying stuck, and staying stuck leads to a very stagnant life, a very boring life, and I feel like my listeners and the women around me are not about that life. We want more. We're striving for goals and, like I said, like if it comes down to you, where you're just afraid of what other people are going to think, if you're growing, they're probably not thinking much of it you are probably making it a hell of a lot worse than as if you know, I don't know, you get the gist, you get the point. As if you know I don't know, you get the gist, you get the point. I'm not going to.
Speaker 1:I'll keep this episode short and sweet, but I had to talk about it because, again, it was something profound. I love it. I love going into these masterminds. So, you guys yeah, I have a question for you guys I have my book is in the beta reader phase, I guess, and I ended up manifesting a writing mentor and I won't say who she is, yet she's written nine books and I completely manifested her into my freaking life and since then the book has been on a roll, which is really good, right. So it's being read by my beta readers.
Speaker 1:Beta readers are the test people, the people who test it out. And yeah, I have three people on that team. One of them is a fact checker who I worked with at the police department and I told them. I was like, look, writing this book has been really hard because you know a lot of it's traumatic events and I wanted to make sure that I was remembering those traumatic events the way that they actually happened, because a lot of the time, our brains will only remember 50% of what actually happened and then we'll make up the other 50% and that's again getting into your head and making things, everything, everything, way worse than it actually was. And I needed him to tell me, like, is this what you remember too? Am I being dramatic or is any of this made up, or does it sound made up, or did I misunderstand something and I need to fix it. So, like I said, like I have, I have him on my team. Uh, stephanie Keith is on my team, uh, for the beta readers, and then I have another girl, but, um, I, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I completely manifested a lot of things this year and her being one of them was my, uh, my mentor for my book, and I was going to release another chapter of the book, but I don't know if anybody wants to hear it, and if I do release another chapter, I won't be a crying, sobbing mess. I'll release something that's like, uh, happier. I guess. I don't know, we'll figure it out, but send me a message, send me a DM If you want hear another chapter or if you want to be a beta reader. I would love to have a listener as a beta reader. Send me a DM and I can email you the chapters and you can be one of the very first people to ever read this crazy roller coaster of a book. So anyway, that's the show today. I wanted to keep it short and sweet.
Speaker 1:Again, don't get in your head If you're one of those people that also want to go all in on something, whether you're moving from another state to, or maybe you have another country and you want to start over I'm telling you, like, don't have that plan B, you will be OK. When you go all in on something that is like on your heart, it's on your heart for a reason. Listen to your intuition. When you go all in on something that is like on your heart, it's on your heart for a reason. Listen to your intuition. It's going to be bumpy, it's going to be difficult. You're going to fail at times. My life has not been perfect, but I've always been taken care of. When I expand myself or when I force myself to grow, I've always been taken care of. It just took a couple of days. So I have a couple of days of panicking and then something will manifest into my life where I'm like okay, now I'm good, Now I'm okay. So don't be afraid to go all in on what you want in life.
Speaker 1:If you are getting anything out of this podcast, rate me some stars, write me a review. It takes like two minutes, guys. It takes two minutes. You could do it again, like when you're in the bath, on the toilet, I don't care, it just helps the podcast grow. Send me a DM or screenshot that you're sharing the episodes on your Instagram or Facebook and I will definitely write you, say hi, thank you, give you I don't know a follow, whatever. Yeah, and if you guys just want to talk, I'm always open to chat. Okay, I hope you guys enjoyed this week's episode. I love you and I am rooting for you guys. Just like I said, you're okay and you got this. I'll see you guys next week.
