Updated AF Collective
Welcome to the "Updated AF Collective," podcast where we celebrate the power and resilience of women.
Join me as we dive into inspiring stories, engage in meaningful conversations, and explore topics that empower women from all walks of life.
We believe that every woman has a unique strength within her, waiting to be unleashed.
Whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, a creative, a caregiver, or simply on your own personal journey, this podcast is for you.
Updated AF Collective
The Journey Home: Finding Peace in Hospice Care With Sylvia and Vanessa Morbeck
When life delivers its heaviest blows, how do we find the strength to keep going? Sylvia Morbeck's answer will leave you speechless.
From the moment Sylvia awakened in a German hospital in 1992 to learn her husband and daughter had been killed in the car accident she survived, her path forward was forever altered. What followed was a journey through grief, alcohol dependency, and eventually a terminal diagnosis that would bring her to hospice care. Yet sitting across from me today, Sylvia radiates a peace that defies her circumstances.
"Don't build a house with somebody who's not willing to carry the bricks," she advises, displaying the raw wisdom that comes only from walking through fire. After losing her loved ones, Sylvia admits she stopped speaking to God for an entire decade, carrying anger that many who've experienced loss will recognize. The turning point came not in a dramatic revelation but through gradual surrender—a lesson in how healing often happens in the quiet spaces we create when we finally stop fighting.
Perhaps the most extraordinary moment in our conversation comes when Sylvia describes her near-death experience two years ago. After a blood vessel burst in her stomach and doctors placed her in a medically-induced coma, she believes she visited heaven—describing marble streets, gold mansions, and complete freedom from pain. When she unexpectedly recovered and was walking the next day, doctors were baffled. "I believe our angels can take us out of here for a second, heal our bodies while we're out of it, and then when we come back, you're healed," she reflects.
Today, Sylvia approaches hospice care with remarkable grace, taking each day as it comes while finding joy in family connections and even the simple companionship of her emotional support rabbit. Her message for those facing similar circumstances? "Take it a day at a time. Sometimes when you start projecting stuff ahead of time, things happen quicker."
Listen to this episode if you've ever questioned how to find meaning in suffering, wondered what lies beyond this life, or simply needed a reminder of the incredible human capacity for resilience. Share with someone who needs to hear that even in our darkest moments, healing and peace remain possible.
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Hey guys, welcome back to Updated AF Collective, the podcast Today. I am absolutely honored and feel so privileged to have two amazing women on today's episode. Today's episode is going to be a little bit more different. We have a very special guest named Sylvia Morbeck and her daughter, vanessa Morbeck. She's an author and a speaker named Sylvia Morbeck and her daughter, vanessa Morbeck. She's an author and a speaker. Her book Unseen what is it? Unseen? Unheard, soldier Vanessa, an incredible book that you've written about sexual trauma, molestation and MST in the military too. So you guys, ladies, thank you so much for being on Updated AF. Sylvia, it's an absolute honor to have you on today.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having time for me today. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Okay. So we're just going to get right into it. Sylvia, let's just jump into it. Babe, let's talk about why you're here, because I think a lot of women who either have a family member in the position that you're in or somebody is listening who is in the position that you're in, needs to hear some things from you today. I feel like. So, Sylvia, let's talk about hospice care and then we'll jump into your life story.
Speaker 2:And then we'll jump into your life story. Well, one of the things I would just want to say is I'm taking my life a day at a time and my life is in the hands of God. You know there's a lot of people who are saying this isn't it for you? Even though this is what it looks like, god can still turn it around for you. It looks like God can still turn it around for you.
Speaker 2:So like that's kind of like what I'm hoping for, even though I am at the, you know, at the very end stage, like I'm trying to have a little bit of hope left in me so that way I can not only leave a legacy behind but also let my five daughters know because I have five daughters and one son let them know like their mom's not giving up without a fight, so like. So that's kind of like still taking a day at a time, still taking all this medication that they have me on, and you know, it gets tiring after a while, because some of the medication does make you sick, and but even though nobody exactly knows how long I have until, like, I pass, I'm trying to stay on the positive note instead of just labeling myself to be like OK, you're going to be dead in about three months, because then what kind of example am I sending for my kids? Do you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:I do, I do. And do you want to talk about your diagnosis with my listeners? Sure.
Speaker 2:So, um, I don't know if, uh, I, my husband and my daughter were killed back in 1992 over in Germany. I was a military wife and everything else like that. He stepped on some black ice and crashed into some trees and there was also another passenger who survived, but they were killed instantly and I woke up in a German hospital and I'm the reason I'm bringing this back is because I'm just want to walk the listeners through kind of what I went through, which which is what contributes to me, um, having a having a problem with not leaving the alcohol alone. So, leaving it alone, so not leaving it alone to you know, because it took me a long time to mourn them, because it's as soon as they passed away, I had to come back to the United States and bury them, while I left Vanessa in Germany in a in in Germany, in a hospital, and then, as soon as I was done with the funeral, I had to come back to Germany, get Vanessa and then fly her back to the United States and I ended up in poor hood. So I mean, it was a long, it's a long journey and stuff like that, but you know I didn't drink at the time, but because I was going through so much. There was so much going on that I actually didn't have time to mourn.
Speaker 2:So as I got older and I had ended up having, you know, other children, I ended up realizing OK, you know, I have to go to work, I have to do this, I have to do that, and still I kept putting my, my mourning, my morning, to the side.
Speaker 2:Yes, then every now and then it would start creeping up on me. So then it started with the ladies night out, the girls night out on the weekends, and then eventually it just graduated until, like um, I think it was in my early forties to having to drink something every single day. So you know, I just want to let women out there know that I know a lot of them are in a situation where they're trying to, they're trying to battle like their wounds and stuff like that internally, and they're trying to like heal themselves internally or they're you know. But what I'm saying is that it's a losing battle when it comes to chemical dependency. It is because it'll take a toll on your body, it'll make you old really quick and it'll run your whole body down. Know, yes, and okay, go ahead with the next question.
Speaker 1:Oh, no so what were you diagnosed with? Um for the listeners listening because right now you are hospice, yeah, so let's talk about the diagnosis and how you found out about it um, cirrhosis of the liver.
Speaker 2:I've actually been diagnosed with it a while ago, but because I stopped with the alcohol and everything else like that, my liver was almost in total regeneration um, you know how do you say that regeneration like it generated. And then, um, as I started like moving forward as a single mom, you know, because, um, I was with, uh, uh, a guy for like 18 years and we had our kids and we raised them and stuff like that, and then we ended up like not being together and I ended up being by myself. So it was really weird, because I was so codependent that like I was in my forties before I got my first apartment, because I was so afraid of being by myself, and you know, that's like another.
Speaker 2:Another issue is, like you know, we, you know, as women, like we have to stop learning how to be afraid, to be by ourselves, especially when we're in a situation where we're being dragged down by the opposite or by the same. And when I say dragged down, I don't mean physically, but I mean mentally, financially. Mentally, financially, um, sometimes it's better off for us to be by ourselves and to rebuild ourselves and to reinvent ourselves, because we'll be better off and invest into ourselves as women, like we don't need the. We don't, we don't need the uh, a partner. If the partner is, is not, um, gonna be there for us, like we're there for them, like one of the biggest things. And I want everybody to understand and listen to this, because this is the best advice that someone ever gave me, and the advice is don't build a house with somebody who's not willing to carry the bricks.
Speaker 1:I think there's a lot to be said with being able to be by yourself for when the hard times come. I think there's a time and a place and a season in life where it's okay to be dependent on your partner, but if you don't have that strong foundation of being able to be alone, I think being alone builds resilience. We need to be able to sit with ourselves in the quiet, in the, you know, in the shit, when things hit the fan. I'm just saying like I think there's a lot to be said that it's okay to be alone for a while and to sit with yourself, but I think where we go wrong is people are uncomfortable being alone. They're scared, they need somebody next to them because they haven't built that resilience yet. Resilience is built in the tough times, does that I mean? Would you agree? That is?
Speaker 2:absolutely correct yeah.
Speaker 1:Otherwise, I feel like we try to distract ourselves and this is me too. I I distracted myself with really unhealthy habits and I've had to learn how to have healthier habits not drinking, not having eating disorders. Those are distractions, those are, those are external fixes, versus sitting by ourselves for a while and just sitting in it and praying on it and, you know, building that, that resilience. So I'm just going to ask you a couple questions about you know, the legacy and your life reflection, everything that you've gone through, because, yes, like you have this diagnosis, but it's not who you are at the end of the day, it's not who you are. Can we talk? I'm just going to, I want to bring it back to happier memories. So give us an example or give us some some happy times in your life. Um, like your, your favorite memories of all time, something that, as you're sitting there in hospice care, you, you can relive those times. Is there anything that you want to share?
Speaker 2:Um, well, you know that I am, um, mexican American and, um, my grandmother my one of my grandmothers is from Mexico, the other ones are from Texas. But, um, what, what I love the most is being able to raise my children in two different cultures, where we would sit together and we would eat tamales and guacamole and play the Mexican music and just dance around and stuff like that. And you know, have a good time around and stuff like that. And you know, have a good time. I remember throwing huge parties for my children's baptisms and and birthday parties where we would rent out parks and stuff like that. You know, and just you know, those are like the happy memories for me, because, I don't know, I was just able to celebrate with everybody else. You know, whatever it is, I was just able to celebrate with everybody else. You know, whatever it is, I was celebrating at the time. Yeah, um, the, the, the.
Speaker 2:The happiest that makes me is that, even though I have five daughters and one son, my five daughters that I have, uh, I can see bits and pieces of myself inside of them.
Speaker 2:You know, I was a very strong Catholic at the time. You know, we were raised Catholic mother and I was no nonsense and you know I was very strict with my kids and they didn't understand that at the time but I'm sure now that they see in this generation they understand why. But just family, family is what makes me happy, you know, and having togetherness and a sense of family, because I'm an only child, so it's like you know I'm an only child. So when I can, you know my kids have brothers and sisters and stuff like that and they're together and they're happy, everybody's fed, everybody has what they need. And you know I worked hard too, you know I. You know I worked at different places, different corporations. So I mean that's the part that makes me happy as a mother is because I know at that point and time that I was really doing the best that I could with what I had and I got like a parent of the year award because I'm a seamstress by nature and I started making the school's costumes and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:So I mean it was good times and that leads me into my next question what are you the most proud of?
Speaker 2:um, I want to say my resilience. I really am. I've been into, like they say, that when you face adversity, like for some apparent reason, I have really never given up, even though they're like this is what it looks like, you're gonna, you know, you know you're not going to live too long, or you're going to do this or you're going to do that. Like, no matter what it looks like, there's always that little bit of fight inside me that's like no, I'm not going out like that. Yeah, I'm not going to go out. That's not why I'm here, that's not why God saved me. You know, I'm not going out like that.
Speaker 2:So, the resilience and being able to start over and not being afraid, being able to advocate for other people who can't speak for themselves I've always been loud and boisterous when it comes to other people's rights. You know, especially when it comes to children or when it comes to somebody who doesn't know how to navigate the system or whatever else like that, you know I'll take them to the side. You know, show them where to go, what to do, how to say, what to say. You know and I don't know. I've always been like that. But I think that I'm the most proudest of that, because I've helped a lot of people along my way.
Speaker 1:That's incredible, because resilience is something to be so proud about. It doesn't come easy. Like I said, resilience is created in hell, difficult and challenges like that are just coming at them out of the blue, and you're able to slowly but surely build that foundation of resilience. That's that can take years to do, and you've created that. So that is 100% something to be proud of is your resilience. And it leads into my next question Um, what do you hope people remember about you? Because, yes, you are showing your children what resilience looks like, but what do you want people to remember you by?
Speaker 2:Uh, I want people to remember me as somebody who's the real deal. I don't sugarcoat anything for anybody. I try to keep things, as you know, as politely as possible. But if I have to give somebody the truth in the raw, I will, because I need them to understand. Like there's no more playing around, like this is what it is and that's one of the things I'm known for is like she. She tells it like it is, like she's like a firecracker. She tells the truth like she's not going to sit up here and sugarcoat anything for you. So like I just want to be known for just telling the truth, but still being empathetic, still being loving, still caring, and even though I'm struggling, I'm still going to struggle to try to help somebody else out, because you know that's just how I was made.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think there's enough people like you in the world that can say it how it is, but also tactfully and lovingly. There's very few people in my life that I know that I can go to and I have to tell them like, hey, I want the absolute truth, you got to be 100% honest with me and they still sugarcoat things. I think being able to be that loving, empathetic soul that you are and, on top of it, give it to them real is, is rare. To be honest Like, I don't see that a lot. I think that's a great thing to be remembered for. I would want to be remembered for something like that. That's incredible. So leads into my next question who has been the most important people in your life?
Speaker 2:Um, well, I was raised by two different grandmothers and my father, um, he got killed by a car, uh, accident. Well, he got killed by a hit and run, I think about four years ago. Four years ago, about four, four and a half years ago, he was the one who pretty much raised me. I kind of raised myself and he raised me too and he was like the most important because he showed me independence, like not emotional independence, because he was codependent, but he showed me like how to. He was a carpenter, so he showed me, like, how to change tires. He showed me, like a little bit of carpentry skills. You know, he always would give me pep talks about who to date and who not to date. And I was very, very close with my dad and he was one of the main important people in my life, other than my two grandmothers who were, you know, old Spanish ladies who talked to me in Spanish and you know they were more so like caretakers, but he was like the main leader, like. But my father also was very generous, like if he seen that, you know, there was 12 kids outside and the pop school guy came by, all the kids would have a pop school. You know that's how it was, you know.
Speaker 2:So, um, he was very important to me and when, when he died, I felt like a part of me died, so that's what, when I was like, oh my God, that's when I started kicked up with the, with alcohol dependency, because I couldn't take it Like I was just like, oh my God. Like you know, he's gone. But then, you know, like I said, I go into therapy and stuff like that. I mean I've been in and out of therapy and stuff like that. But the therapy I started after my dad passed away. I mean it's helpful, you know, to a certain extent, but at the same time, when you're ready to face it and you're ready to deal with it, and when you're ready, when your soul is ready, when your heart is ready, that's when you can truly learn how to heal.
Speaker 2:Because no one can tell you how to do that. I don't care how many therapists you see in a day or whatever the case is, or no matter what kind of medication they try to put you on for being depressed, unless you're willing and unless your soul is willing to, you know give it to God and you know asking to help you and you know help process. You know those, those types of things. Um, you know, unless your heart is willing, your spirit is willing and you know your soul is willing and they're all willing to to learn how to move on, you're not going to move on.
Speaker 1:Do you ever think that you found that? Do you ever think that I mean maybe right now that you just surrender to God? Are you in that mindset right now, now that you are in hospice? Have you surrendered everything, or do you? Are you still struggling with?
Speaker 2:remembering these things. No, I truly believe that I surrendered and that's why I'm at peace. I'm at peace with myself. I'm at peace with the fact that if I go tomorrow, it's okay, because I made peace with that. It took me a long time, but I made peace with that, amongst many other things that have happened to me in my life that didn't make sense, that weren't my fault or whatever. I made peace because, you know, I am tired of hearing the guilt and the shame for other people, mistakes that they have done towards me and stuff like that. And I'm just, you know, you get tired of that. Stuff is very heavy on the soul and I just had to learn how to forgive.
Speaker 2:And at this point, like you know, when I went into the hospital the last time, I'm told the doctors I'm like, I'm not, I'm not afraid to go. You know, if that's what it is, then that's just what it is. Yeah, they're like, you know, we don't think you should be talking about that right now. Right now, let's just get you through this and this, that and whatever. But I mean, they know that. But of course they're going to, they're going to try to uh, you know, redirect my thoughts or whatever else like that.
Speaker 1:But yeah, well, you've been through some really heavy things the loss of children, a husband, everything. Those are very, very heavy things. When you say that you had to learn forgiveness and learn to surrender and let go, what has changed from the time that you lost your loved ones, um, to right now in hospice care? Did you have to? What was that? What was that healing process looking like for you? Did you have to forgive yourself? Did you have to forgive God? Did what? What? What's walk? Let's walk through that. Let's unpack that.
Speaker 2:Well, number one I, after that happened with my husband and my daughter, and I remember I was in the car too and I was one of the survivors, so I had survivor's guilt. So I didn't talk to God for 10 years. Oh my gosh, I was so angry with him. I didn't talk to him for 10 years. I didn't want to hear about God, I didn't want to know about God. And anybody that ever came up to me and told me about anything about God, yeah, it was not happening.
Speaker 2:So eventually, you know, god would still like show up in different forms, you know, like little omens. Here and there I would see a cardinal, I would see this, I would see that, or you know, to let me know that he was still a mile and then that he still loved me and stuff. But I was just angry with him because I'm like how could you do that to me? I was in church and I was worshiping and praising you and everything, and this is how you're going to do me Like you know.
Speaker 2:So it took me a while, it took me years to actually learn how to forgive God. And then, once I learned how to forgive God, I had to learn how to start forgiving other people. So the difference between then and now is the heaviness on my soul, with the weight that I was carrying at the time, is no longer there. My spirit feels free. It's that, all that heaviness that I was carrying with, you know, with the sadness, with the depression, with the unforgiveness, with the, you know, the anger, like I don't have that heaviness anymore on top of me, I felt like that has been lifted.
Speaker 1:What is the moment that you felt that? What is the moment that you just said you know what I surrender? Do you have a moment in time that you remember vividly where you're like enough is enough. I can't live like this anymore and just gave it all to God. Is there? I can't live like this anymore and just gave it all to God. Is there? Is?
Speaker 2:there a moment. There's been a couple of moments like that. Okay, there's been more than one, but in the last two years or so is when I really when the when I started learning more about my health and how it started, you know, declining a little bit more I and how it started, you know, declining a little bit more I was like, okay, you know I'm going to have to do something because I'm not going out like that. And so you know, I said, you know I surrender to you that whatever your will is in my life, so be it. You know, because you have me here for a reason I still don't understand why I'm like, but at the same time, you know, just help me. And you know praying and stuff like that. I've had tons of prayer warriors and my mother is a minister and pray for me and stuff like that, and it's been hard because, on a spiritual level, yeah it's like, um, it's.
Speaker 2:It's been a struggle, but, um, I think it was like the two years ago is when I fully surrendered after my dad had passed away and everything else, and I couldn't deal with the pain anymore. I'm like I surrender to you, like I. I don't know what you want me to do, but you know what I really truly do have to say and this is going to be weird, cause I don't know if you were going to hear this from someone else but I'm not going to say that I'm glad that my husband and my daughter were killed, cause I'm not glad about that, absolutely, but but because of their deaths, it has made me a better person.
Speaker 1:It's opened you up to how precious our lives are Right and gives you that appreciation. Every single day, when we wake up and God gives us another opportunity to start again, a fresh new day, I also feel extremely grateful and blessed and yeah, I like that you said that because there's people that suffer from loss every single day, but we hold that resentment to God and we want somebody to blame, because how dare God take somebody from us? You know, that's, that's that mindset I can't imagine. I can't imagine losing a child. I've lost people in my life that I thought, you know, I took for granted, I thought was going to be there for me every single day, and when God took them, you know it's hard. And then I had to tell myself this is years later.
Speaker 1:By the the way, this is not something that comes easy. When you, when you're angry with God, it takes years to forgive yourself for being angry and it takes years for you, for you to not resent God anymore. But then I look back and I'm and I think like if that person was never in my life, I wouldn't have known what unconditional love felt like. Because that is when I realized and I come to terms with like, oh, my gosh, like I'm so grateful I got to love somebody as much as I did, because that old saying is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? That's what comes to mind, you know. Never loved at all, that's what comes to mind, you know.
Speaker 1:So what, what is giving your life meaning right now, in this moment, today? What are you? What is giving you, I guess, like the motivation to keep fighting, to keep going. Yes, there's that beauty in the surrender of like. Okay, lord. Like, if this is my last day, so be it, I'm okay with that, but I'm also going to keep fighting to keep myself here with my children. But so what? What is the? What is that fire inside of you today, like, what is keeping you here today and keeping you motivated?
Speaker 2:You know, that's a good question, because I've always had that right in me. I just never could pinpoint like. The only thing I can say is this is probably. I mean not that it's probably, but that it's bad, because it's like I always had that fight in me. But you know, when things get tough and they look bad, and when things don't act right and don't, you know, talk right, sound right and all that other stuff, and it looks terrible, that's when that's where that fight comes in me and it's like a fire in me. And it's like a fire, you know, and it's like.
Speaker 2:So I guess it would be the passion for for my kids to allow them to see, you know, like um, at the end of my days, like you know, the, the. They don't a lot of them understand what I went through, some of them don't, but they're trying to understand. But just to let them know, like you know you have a strong mother like don't give up. Yeah, like, no matter what, no matter what it is, don't give up. Don't, don't give into um, you know, don't give up into I don't want to say weakness, but don't, don't give up like that. Just keep on fighting, keep on fighting, even if it takes you to the end of your last breath, keep on fighting. I don't know where that comes from. It has to come from God, because I don't know where else I got to come, but that's how I feel. I feel, yeah, like I've always felt that way since I was a kid is it something you prayed for?
Speaker 1:did you pray for God to give you that? To give you that, that new, renewed sense of motivation every single day to keep going?
Speaker 2:I actually prayed for gifts when I was a kid. Spiritual gifts I got. Well, that one I didn't ask for. I just asked for the power to heal and help people and the spirit of discernment and basically to help people in a spirit of discernment. That one I didn't ask for. But what I didn't realize is, when you pray for gifts you know, supernatural gifts it's not going to be no walk in the park for you. No, it's not, because when you pray for a gift and the spirit of discernment and stuff like that, you're going to have to suffer a loss. You're going to have to suffer pain because you're going to have to be able to reach out to other people, and the only way you can reach out to them is to have gone through it yourself.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. You need to know what it feels like, almost you know, like the difference, the contrast and the polarity, you know, between love and loss and everything. Like I, like I said, like I don't feel like we experience unconditional love until we lose that person, um, that's when we ultimately feel it, and I I hate that. That was you know something that I feel like God has given us that gift of feeling unconditional love. But in order to feel it, sometimes we lose the people that are absolutely closest to us and it's a sad lesson to learn. But knowing that they're not gone, they're just on another, you know, on another plane, or in heaven, or what, or however you want to describe it, they're not completely gone.
Speaker 1:So you sound like, because I grew up Catholic too, so I feel like we can kind of talk about this. But when you say spiritual gifts, have you been able to receive signs from your loved ones? On the other end, you mentioned the Cardinals, which is Cardinals is one of my absolute favorite signs from my angels and my spirit team, you know, to let me know that they are around. Can we talk a little bit about how this has brought you closer to being a spiritual woman, a gifted woman, somebody who can communicate with the other side.
Speaker 2:I have visions, premonitions and visions and dreams. I do see signs of omens. Like you know, I live by a like a, like a park that has woods in it, so I see different animals every once in a while. But my premonitions and visions come through my dreams and usually I'll see my um relatives who have passed on and, um, they'll, they'll show me something, they'll show me something. They they barely.
Speaker 2:You know, if you study about, like people from from heaven, you know people that have gone to heaven. Sometimes they speak to you and and a lot of the times they won't, yeah, like it's more so. Like telepathy wise, like they can, like you can, read their thoughts, they can read your thoughts. But like, um, you know, I've always had that since I was a kid. My grandmother was born with it, my mom was born with it. My mom was born with it.
Speaker 2:So, but like spiritual wise, I've always been spiritual. When I was growing up, I was more religious than anything because I was raised Catholic, but then, once I started turning in, like 24, 25, I started studying about animal, yeah, and started studying about angelology and stuff like that, and and so I'm, I'm very spiritual. I have been for some time now and uh, yeah, they, they do come to me. Sometimes. I hear stuff rattling around in my kitchen and I just ignore it because it's like you know, as long as I feel that that spirit is not here to harm me or anyone else, I can just let it be.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Is there a recent dream? I'm sorry. Oh no, go ahead, Go ahead, Vanessa Is there any recent dreams you've had with your ancestors or past loved ones that you want to share with us?
Speaker 2:Yes, that you want to share with us. Yes, the last dream that I had was of your dad and his father. They showed me a photo album, right, and the photo album was one of those cheap photo albums back in the day where, like, you open it up and you can put the pictures in plastic and slide them in and slide them out. It's like an old you know, it's kind of a old photo album. Soon as I started looking at the pictures, the pictures came to life and the pictures were walking me through like episodes of what happened that day when the pictures were, when I was looking at the different pictures. So that's the last dream that I had.
Speaker 1:I think those types of dreams are gifts. I think that our loved ones can come into our sleep. You know, when we're the most relaxed, when our brain is our conscious brain is shut off and our subconscious takes over. I think that is their easiest time for them to communicate with us is through dreams, and can gift us with those memories like that and bring us back to a time where you know when the picture was taken in those happy moments. I think that is such a gift. You know when the picture was taken in those happy moments. I think that is such a gift. Yes, I believe so. Have you received messages or other signs when you are awake or you're outside? You mentioned cardinals, but has there been other times where you've just been, you know driving or walking, and you've seen something that you knew was coming from a loved one?
Speaker 2:Um, like I see angelic numbers, yeah, um angel numbers too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I see those, but for the most part like I'm an overthinker, so my mind's consistently overthinking on stuff, um, I think that's the reason probably why I get visited, more so during my dreams, because my mind is always so proactive all the time and busy with you know what if this happens, and what if that happens, and what if this. But, like um, the last time I saw two juvenile cardinals dancing around together in the trees and before that it was a regular cardinal. I hear the birds chirping and like so as far as the animal, and then, other than that, I haven't, the last one I seen before, that was a white owl, it was huge, that was a white owl, it was huge, that's a white owl 100%.
Speaker 1:that is a sign.
Speaker 2:And I didn't even know there was white owls around here.
Speaker 1:I feel like in order for our loved ones or our angels to communicate with us, it doesn't have to be native to where we're at. I feel like they find ways to get those signs to us and I love it. I love especially because if you've never seen one in that area and then all of a sudden you're seeing one, you know for a fact that's coming from somebody else, you know like you can't argue. Those signs, the ones that are very clear, cut the you know out of the ordinary being on hospice. Do you feel like you're more open to the other side now, now that you are closer to the veil where your loved ones are at? Do you feel like you are completely open to receiving those messages and do you feel them there with you?
Speaker 2:I'm open to the messages, but as far as feeling them there with me, I think I still have some time to go yet. I mean, I they do come to me and dreams and visions and I see them, like you know. But, um, as far as them welcoming, welcoming me home and stuff like that, like I haven't had that part yet, but they do come to me, you know, very often hugging me and stuff like that, they're in white robes embroidered with gold and their skin looks like it glows. It's not the same thing as like my skin color or your skin color. It looks like they have a certain glow. So now that I'm getting closer, I'm starting to see more relatives, more and more of the ones who have passed on.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, but you mentioned, you, don't you feel that, if anything, you're going to have some more time on earth, right? You don't feel like you're coming close. So it's almost like they're here just to kind of heal you for a little bit, you know, just to keep you here. You do. So it's almost like they're here just to kind of heal you for a little bit, you know, just to keep you here You're. You're waking up every day for a reason and they're helping you.
Speaker 2:if anything, just be on earth with your, with your loved ones and your family, a little bit longer, that's what I, that's what that's how I, that's what I think, because if they wanted to take me, they could have taken me two years ago when I when I had almost lost blood to death Um, one of the veins bursted open inside my stomach and I lost two liters of blood and I almost died in the emergency room. And but I gotta, that's a whole nother episode I got to tell you about, because when they comatose me, I got to tell you where I went.
Speaker 1:I mean, we can talk about that right here, right now. I think, like I said, this is so healing knowing that we, we still have loved ones around us and that we can have these experiences and come back to earth, and everything.
Speaker 4:I think there's there's healing in it, okay, even just the last week she was in the hospital and that was a very, very close call. If she did not get the necessary medical care she needed, like God or something or spirit, or just gave me that that intuition to be like my mom needs to get to the emergency room right now, and we were able to make that happen. But that was really scary for me as well in the last week or so.
Speaker 2:Wow. And so I tried to do two things at once in one day, and I went to go do some laundry at the laundromat because I don't have a washer and dryer and I ended up picking up this heavy bag and all of a sudden I could feel something pop inside my stomach and it hurted and I started holding my stomach and all of a sudden it got real warm, real warm, and so I was like, ok, but then I still kept moving. I had to be at work, and so when I came home I went to the potty and the potty was just all red. So so I ended up going to work, and then I'm like, no, I got to go to work, you know. I got to. You know, I'm getting paid next week. I got to go to work and make sure I got these hours on my check, you know, because I have a layaway, I got to get off for these kids Winter is coming, you know I got to get their coats up layaway. So I'm, you know, going through this in my head.
Speaker 2:So all of a sudden, I'm standing there and all of a sudden, my body starts rocking back and forth and it feels like I want to pass out. So they were like I'm like, mom, you have to take me to the hospital, something's wrong with me. Something's wrong with me Now. Instead of going to the nearest hospital, which is near me, I ended up going to the hospital that was a couple of miles away from me, because that's where all my doctors were at. So when I went in there, like I started like vomiting blood and stuff like that up and like chunks of blood, and it looked like a homicide scene, because this blood was like coming through my mouth and everything and went all over my phone. And so I walked into the emergency room and I said I don't need to jump in front of anybody, but I need help. I'm bleeding. I don't. I don't know where it's coming from. So, anyways, the moral of the story is there's a team of doctors that came and, um, they're like, yeah, she is. And they're like you got about two seconds to sign this paper. I'm like what is it? They're like we have to, um, we have to induce a coma and we're going to put you under because we need to find out where this bleeding is coming from and I was like I told you it's coming from one of the veins that bursted open inside my stomach or my esophagus, and um, so, anyways, they put me into. Um, no, so I ended up losing two liters of blood and they're they're waiting for the guy to come to do the surgery to patch up you know wherever the vessel was broken or whatever. Uh, vein bursted open. They were waiting for him to come and do that. They comatose me. Then they put me in the ICU.
Speaker 2:When they put me in the ICU and they comatose me, I felt like I went to heaven. I felt no more crying, no more sickness. I actually really felt like I was in heaven, like I started envisioning, like you know, marble streets and gold and mansions and stuff like that, and I started seeing people congregating like towards these huge pillars and everything else like that. So in my heart and and I and I felt like the angels were with me. Like you know, they escorted me there.
Speaker 2:And then, all of a sudden, the lady starts taking out like the catheter and all that other stuff. I'm like why did you wake me up? She was like well, because it's time you have to come out of the coma now, but I couldn't believe the difference between being in this world and and actually being like in what I think was heaven, because I felt completely, completely healed. Ok, so this is, this is a true story. So after I get out of the coma, I start walking around the next day and the doctors are like how is that possible? I said I don't know, but I started using a bathroom on my own and all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 1:I believe that some, you know, our angels can take us out of here for a second, heal our bodies while we're out of it and then, when we come back, you're, you're healed. I mean, I've seen those documentaries, I've read the books about that happening to people, having that out of body experience where they experienced leaving to go to the other side and then coming back and being completely healed. Do you think that's what happened to you? I believe that. Yes, I absolutely do. That's, that's amazing. Thank you for sharing that, by the way. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that. By the way, before I let you go, sylvia, is there anything or any advice or wisdom that you have for women out there who might be going through something very, very similar, whether they themselves are on hospice or they have a loved one who is on hospice? Is there any advice that you can give somebody out there who might need some right now?
Speaker 2:Give them the person who is on hospice Play like soothing music around them. Try, you know, be there for them as much as you can. Don't remind them about what's going to happen, but remind them about what's going on today and just continue to love them. You never know, your love might heal them. It could be that one love that comes from that one person that they need to hear, that might heal them. So just continue to be there for the person, hold their hand, comfort them and, you know, honor them for what you know, for whatever you know what. I'm not saying that they had to do anything miraculous, but just honor them as another soul to another soul. And you know souls are very important and precious, especially to God. So you know, treat them as such, absolutely. That's the best advice I can give. So you know, treat them as such.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, that's the best advice I can give. Any advice for somebody who is currently experiencing being on hospice. Any words of advice for them?
Speaker 2:The words of advice I can give to you is just take it a day at a time. Uh, sometimes when you start looking at stuff and you start projecting stuff ahead of time, it's when you know like things happen quicker. But just take it a day at a time, because you just never know, you know, just take it a day at a time, because you just never know. You know, just take it a day at a time. You know, like when they told me, oh, you're in stage four, cirrhosis of the liver, you'll be lucky if you live, you know, for another four months or another five months or whatever, like that really got to me mentally and it depressed me because I'm like, wow, you know, that's all I have, you know. But I'm taking it a day at a time and I noticed that as I do that one day turns into another day.
Speaker 1:So is there anything you're doing in the process while being on hospice? Are you, is there? Is there anything special that you're doing? Is it prayer? Is it journaling? Is it? What is what is getting you through these days?
Speaker 2:It's prayer and family. I have like a three younger well, three daughters that that live with me right now and and and the fact that I get to like spend time with them and laugh at them. Oh, and I forgot to tell you Another thing is if you can try to get an emotional support animal, I mean if you're at the beginning stages or whatever. I have a rabbit and my rabbit comforts me and stuff like that when I feel extremely overwhelmed or whatever. But sometimes you just need that one thing to love or whatever.
Speaker 2:I mean I know it's like you know, like we didn't talk about that, but I have a rabbit that I care for and the fact that I get to care for the rabbit and give it like all kinds of food and stuff like that, it kind of just tingles up my heart and everything, because it's just an animal, but I love animals. So it like he brings me a lot of joy and he has his own personality and you know. But he brings me a lot of joy. He brings the whole, the whole family. You know, when I'm going in and out of the hospital he brings the whole family joy.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, animals are so healing, they really are. I feel like, again, another gift from God, you know, just having that support and that, again, like animals love us, they, they don't judge, they are just there and I feel like sometimes they know, they know what's happening and they know they can sense what's going on, absolutely. Yeah, sylvia, it's been an absolute privilege and an honor to talk to you today and to share your story and I pray to God that your story gets to the right people who need to hear it. And, if you're okay with it, if there is somebody out there who needs your love, your prayers, your guidance, would it be okay if listeners reached out to you via email? Would that be okay?
Speaker 1:I always try to connect my listeners with my guest because, again, like, sometimes we don't know who needs to hear this or who needs to connect with you. Would that be okay If I shared your email? That would be fun. Okay, I appreciate that and I appreciate you and Vanessa, thank you for connecting me with your mom.
Speaker 1:Um, your story is equal and that is going to be another episode that you and I are going to have. That's going to be another conversation, because you as well have an incredible story. Just like your mom, I feel like when strong women come together, big things happen, magical things happen, and I feel like that was the whole point of this podcast when I created it. It was to bring women together in all walks of life, in every single situation, having these hard conversations. This is, you know, it's a hard conversation to have, but these are the conversations that need to be had, and thank God for you, sylvia, for being a strong woman, that you are to be able to come on a podcast and you've never met me before and to trust me with your story. I'm just so honored. I'm honored. Thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 4:Thank you for having me Absolutely. Thank you for your service as well.
Speaker 1:Thank you for yours, girl.
