The Alimond Show
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The Alimond Show
Allyson Luna - Soft Is Strong: Embracing Your Natural Gifts in Therapy
"Being soft and warm can be a strength." This profound insight from therapist Allyson Luna captures the essence of her approach to healing and personal growth. After initially pursuing a career in forensic psychology, Allyson found herself in environments where supervisors told her to "toughen up"—advice that felt fundamentally at odds with her naturally empathetic nature. This disconnect sparked a journey of self-discovery that ultimately led her to counseling, where her warmth and sensitivity became professional assets rather than liabilities.
Allyson's practice, Luna Counseling Solutions, specializes in helping clients navigate anxiety, stress, and grief through evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. She creates judgment-free spaces where clients can share their deepest thoughts without fear, breaking the isolation that often accompanies emotional struggles. Her practical strategies—focusing on one moment at a time, accepting difficult feelings rather than fighting them, and taking small, manageable actions—help clients build confidence in their ability to handle life's challenges.
The conversation reveals powerful insights applicable far beyond the therapy room. When feeling overwhelmed, Allyson reminds us "you've already lived your most anxious days so far" and "you can do hard things." For those unsure about their professional path, she encourages exploring innate strengths rather than forcing yourself into conventional roles. Whether you're considering therapy, facing anxiety, or contemplating a major life change, Allyson's blend of compassion and practical wisdom offers a refreshing perspective on personal growth. Are you ready to combine action with faith that things will work out? This combination might be the catalyst for transformation you've been seeking.
My name is Allison Luna and my business is Luna Counseling Solutions. I serve teenagers and adults and couples.
Speaker 2:Amazing. Yeah, so you mentioned that you didn't originally plan to become a therapist. Can you share the story of how you naturally found your way into this field?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it wasn't a straight path to counseling. I never even considered being a counselor, but I did always have an interest in psychology and I remember being a child and excited like my cousins and I would say let's have deep thoughts and like let's talk about deep things, and so I was always like I'd be excited to go to bed at night and think about the day and like just the whys, the hows. So I was always into deep thinking and curiosity, and so I went to graduate school and I majored in forensic psychology because I was really interested in, you know, crime documentaries and serial killers and, again, like the mind of a serial killer or a criminal, like what made them do this, like what was their childhood, like what led to this, um, so I majored in that, and then I started working in the field, and I worked at different jobs and internships, like a jail probation office, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. I was in the call center there and I was a private investigator at one point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so once I was actually in the field, though, I realized like this isn't just a crime documentary. Every once in a while this is kind of disturbing and scary and depressing, and I realized it really didn't match what I wanted to do, because and I also I realized that supervisors would say you need to like kind of toughen up. You're a little like soft and warm. And I was like that's me, like I can't just pretend to be tough.
Speaker 1:I just feel like being soft and warm can be a strength. So I really just started thinking how can I use my God-given or innate strengths and ability to serve others and find a career that really aligns with me as a person, not try to change myself? And that's when I realized, okay, a counselor. They're very warm, like empathic, listening, nonjudgmental, like gentle, nudges toward change, and I felt like that fit me and my like innate kind of qualities or abilities.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Then I went back to school for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that you said that being soft and warm can be a strength, because I think a lot of people need to remember that, or just hear that, because in today's world it's so easy to get caught up. And I have to, you know, hustle, I have to be hard, I have to be hardened when it comes to a lot of different things. Exactly, yeah.
Speaker 1:Great advice. And my, I always would always get like my weakness for supervisor evaluations would say like you need to work on confidence. But then once I entered the counseling field, a supervisor told me that was my strength and I was like wow, like I'm definitely where I'm meant to be If that me just doing me is a confident you know. Yeah, I love that. That's really beautiful.
Speaker 2:Thank you. What inspired you to focus on creating a safe, judgment-free space for your clients?
Speaker 1:What inspired me to do that? I think that again, I felt like that was something that I could bring naturally to the room or to a person's life. You know, nothing ever felt like it could shock me too much. And I know I said, like you know, the crime cases or stories would get to me, but that's like on my own internally. But I felt like nothing you could say could shock me. You know, I just felt it was really important for people to just be themselves, because it can be really lonely to just carry thoughts in your head and not tell anyone and feel ashamed. So I wanted to be that person where you could open up to and be like oh okay, I'm not so awful or weird, yeah, that's awesome what has been one of the most rewarding moments in your career as a therapist so far.
Speaker 2:If you could think of just one.
Speaker 1:I think the most rewarding is truly like seeing results in people where they come in and they feel energized and empowered and they're like. I went to the grocery store by myself yesterday because I thought like, oh, what's the worst that could happen. Like seeing people actually use the skills and them seem happier and like they can go out and do anything they want, you know, not living in fear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the way that I think about it. It must kind of correct me if I'm wrong, but it must feel to you like you're watching their lives open up for them. Yeah, like that's just so. That's such a beautiful thing for me to think about. I took a few psychology courses in college and whenever we would talk about different case studies, that's always what I would go to Like wow, their lives have like just all the possibilities, have expanded, have opened up, and now they get to. You know, go walk that path.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I feel like in your life, like somebody and their families, they're just like what are you scared of? Just go do it. But it life like somebody in their families, they're just like what are you scared of? Just go do it. But it's like helpful to be like. What am I scared of? Like asking them. So what is it that you're scared of? Is it not finding the item you want? And when they, once they talk, they're like wait, there's really nothing scary about it. Some random person thinks my outfit looks bad. Like I can live with that no-transcript, I could say the same thing as their mom. And they're like I like what you said.
Speaker 2:better it's like I was definitely one of those teenagers. Yeah, me too. Many people are hesitant to start therapy. What would you say to someone who's on the fence about reaching out for support?
Speaker 1:I would say to just do it. I know that seems so simple and it's so hard, but I truly believe taking action combined with combined with faith that it will work out is just that's just a powerful combination. Like just you know, not even thinking, just doing, just what's the worst that could happen. I again, I embarrass myself, I say the wrong thing. Can you live with that? So I really would suggest just going in there, like making the call, sending the email, just doing it and then having faith that it'll all work out. That's great advice.
Speaker 2:How do you help clients begin to take control of their thoughts and emotions when they feel completely overwhelmed?
Speaker 1:I love the quote like one day at a time, and I even bring it down to like one hour at a time, one minute at a time. So if people are thinking like what if this happens? What if this happens Like tonight, tomorrow? I try to keep it in the very, you know, the present moment, like all we need to worry about right now is this, like this moment. Can you handle the thoughts in this moment? So I just like to break it down into smaller pieces Less overwhelming.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure, and it gives them that almost mental step to check off. Yeah, okay, I got through this moment. Check. Yeah, I have the next one.
Speaker 1:And we love a to-do list yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm a to-do list girl. Can you share a breakthrough moment or transformation you've witnessed in your work, while maintaining confidentiality, of course, okay?
Speaker 1:If you need more time, we can come back to it as well. Like you're keeping things in your body physically and you have headaches and stress, and I think a breakthrough moment was probably having this person try to have an open conversation with someone in their family that they did not feel comfortable doing, like you didn't do anything wrong, like they're allowed to be mad at you and you're allowed to express your feelings. And so I remember this person, after like a few months, finally expressed something that hurt them to a family member and actually the best case happened. The family member was sorry and maybe a little defensive, but it ended up working out and that person realizes hey, I can, I can be assertive and talk to people, and just because they're mad or upset at me doesn't mean I did something wrong. So that's what comes to mind.
Speaker 2:I think that's huge, though like I don't think it should be downplayed at all in their mind, in anyone's mind, because once you do that, once I feel like you're really empowered to be able to do it again yes and even if the outcome isn't as good, you you feel more confident going into those situations. So I think that that's really incredible. In your experience, what is the biggest misconception people have about therapy?
Speaker 1:I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that it's either advice giving, like telling you what to do, or saying like cliche lines like how did that feel for you? And yeah, we do say that, but it's not in like an unnatural way or not just like robots, like you actually are connecting with someone and sometimes that's all you need is just someone to like understand you and listen to you. So I think people might think that it's more robotic and, you know, cliche.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially with the way that I've seen therapy portrayed in like the media and in shows and stuff, it's really just like a quick glimpse into what it could be. But a lot of times it is just kind of advice giving or like a guy lying on one of those beds.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, thank you for sharing that misconception. You specialize in anxiety, stress and grief. What draws you to helping people through these specific challenges?
Speaker 1:So with grief, I think it brings me back to again when I was a child, having deep thoughts and meaningful thoughts Like what is the point of life, like what are we all doing here and know, and I feel like I bring that into grief. I kind of just naturally found that as well, like being with people during their most vulnerable and sad moments and being able to like sit with people through that and then coming out of it to somehow making meaning of someone's loss, like not saying it happened for a reason, but how can we use this loss to make meaning in your life, to give back to other people? So I really found that to be rewarding. And anxiety and stress I feel like everybody deals with that. It's been so rewarding to see people realize that life is scary but you can handle it, like you've already lived your most anxious days so far, and just kind of helping people, like push them to do a little bit more than they think they can. I love that.
Speaker 2:You've already lived your most anxious days so far. I think that's something I need to remind myself. I know same. That's great. How do cognitive behavioral therapy, cbt, and acceptance and commitment therapy ACT, come into play in your sessions?
Speaker 1:So CBT- I love because it's the. You know your thoughts impact your feelings, impact your behaviors. So I like helping people catch their thoughts, like the automatic quick thoughts oh what do they think of me, or something and being able to be like wait, that's, I don't need to think like that, let me reframe it. They might think something of me and I can handle that. So I like using practical tools for CBT and then for ACT. Acceptance that's probably my favorite. Just, I feel like we're always like fighting things, like but what if you know? And just okay, like I accepted this will happen, I might not like it, but again I can get through it. Like I accepted this will happen, I might not like it, but again I can get through it. So, yeah, I just think that acceptance is great because you can kind of like relax, like I don't need to fight everything or figure everything out, and just let it happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's building that trust within yourself. I kind of feel like that allows you to again trust that you know this, what if can happen this, what if can happen this, what if can happen. But I trust that I have the tools in my toolbox. Because of therapy, because of clinicians like you, I trust that I can get through it. So, I think that that's, I think that's very powerful. What is the feeling or experience you want every client to have when they work with you?
Speaker 1:experience you want every client to have when they work with you. I would say accepted and not judged, because I just again feel like it's so important to feel like you're not alone, like, even if you have these thoughts, these feelings, the shame, like you can still talk to somebody and not carry that with you for the rest of your life by yourself, because I feel like that's what leads to depression. So, just being to be like I can tell Allison something and I know she's not going to like negatively judge me, but just help me or give me self-compassion, like nobody's perfect and how to move forward versus, you know, sticking in the, staying stuck in the past yeah, absolutely your practice offers group therapy sessions, including for grief and anxiety.
Speaker 2:Why do you think group work specifically can be so powerful?
Speaker 1:really hard to fill, because people want to kind of be alone in their grief. And then they get to a point where they're like is anyone else like going through this? Has anyone else lost, like a mother that's so young or you know, like the non-traditional stage of life, like a non-traditional way of losing someone, and I think it's just helpful to have someone else who knows maybe how you're feeling, and not exactly, but similar yeah absolutely.
Speaker 2:How do your personal values shape the way you show up for your clients and run your practice?
Speaker 1:So one of my personal values that I bring to my practice is, I think, service. Because, again, whenever I wanted to figure out, okay, what do I really want to do with my innate skills out, okay, what do I really want to do with my innate skills? How can I do that, use those to serve others? So I've always tried to bring that to my practice, like, how can I serve others? It's all about the client, not my agendas, not what I think they should do. So it's all about just focusing on what I could bring to help someone else's life. And I feel like young people right now, and if they're in college, they don't know what they want to do and they're lost. And I always say let's explore your innate abilities and what qualities you have, because when you're yourself and you feel like you're doing a good job, you're confident, and then you can do better work and like someone's, like I'm really good at math, and then you're like, okay, well, what is that? Solving problems, finding solutions? What other careers could you do with those skills?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's really cool that you kind of talk like college kids through that, because I wish someone would have talked to me about that in college or when I was looking into colleges, because, yeah, there's just so many things, things, so many paths that you feel like you have to follow and coming back to yourself and thinking about even what you said at the beginning, like your strengths as a child, talking to your friends about things, and then what you'd find yourself thinking about when you would lie down to go to sleep at night.
Speaker 2:I think you said you were so excited to like think about the day but then also think about kind of the meaning of everything. I think we could all come back to kind of our innate strengths and find ourselves in the best jobs and the best positions because of that.
Speaker 1:Right and we don't have to. Yeah, and I know in college they want you to pick a major and and you don't. You don't have any experience yet. So how do you know what you like? But I think if you follow something you're passionate about or that you feel like aligned with, then eventually you find your way to like the career that is best for you. Yeah, amazing.
Speaker 2:All right, you offer a Christian focus if clients want it. How do you balance tailoring therapy to meet each person's unique background and needs?
Speaker 1:Well, I definitely make sure to ask, like during the intake, like are you spiritual or religious? Is that something you'd want to want to incorporate into therapy? And if they say no, then of course I wouldn't do that. It's again about the client. But if they do, then I get excited about that because I think, bringing in spirituality and again not seeing ourselves as the world sees us, but maybe as God sees us or whoever you believe in sees you there's more to just this worldly things. It's deeper than that, yeah.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I love that. If someone listening today is in a difficult season of life, what is the one piece of encouragement or advice you would want them to hear?
Speaker 1:I've heard this quote and it's always stuck with me but you can do hard things. I love that quote.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's like wait, this doesn't have to be easy for me to do it. Like it can be hard, I can be uncomfortable and, yes, it have to be easy for me to do it. Like it can be hard, I can be uncomfortable and it yes, it may be awful but I can get through it. And I think taking action is too. If you can do one piece of action and not just sit and be stuck in your thoughts, you know, if you're worried about something like, what can I do to make myself a little less worried? Can I go to the doctor, Like make an appointment? Instead of worrying about my health, how about I just make the appointment?
Speaker 2:Again, it's going to be scary, but it's harder to not know and sit in your thoughts than to know I think I definitely agree, and I think when you almost feel paralyzed from taking that first step, you just get more anxious because it's kind of building up towards that, and then it's even harder to make that first move or that first step.
Speaker 1:So yeah, the avoidance. Yeah, I'm not saying it's easy again. Yeah, no, I know.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for that. Is there anything else that I didn't touch on that you wanted to share with us today?
Speaker 1:wanted to share with us today? I don't think so. I guess I did just want to say again for people that are scared to like make a move in life with a career, or maybe leave a corporate job to go off on your own and or take just a non-conventional job, like I really feel, if you combine faith and action and having practical steps lined up, but also the mindset like this will work out like this, because it has to that I think that people can again do more than they think they can.
Speaker 2:Absolutely that's yeah, I love that advice. I will be replaying that in my mind as well. Thank you, it's really, really awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming in and making the time to talk to us today about your journey and Luna Counseling Solutions. It's been such a fascinating, informative conversation.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, of course.