The World is a Shit Show (but your life doesn't have to be)

Joy can feel weirdly forbidden right now like if you laugh, rest, or enjoy your life you must be ignoring the suffering around you. I’m not buying that, and today I’m giving you a clear, grounded way to stop treating guilt like a moral compass and start treating your nervous system like the control panel it is. 

We get into the brain science behind news anxiety and doomscrolling, including the amygdala’s threat alarm and the negativity bias that makes one bad headline stick to your ribs. I share a painfully relatable morning spiral that started with grabbing my phone before my feet hit the floor and how I caught the turning point: nothing in my immediate life was on fire, but my body was reacting like it was. From there, we walk through the awareness shifts that help you interrupt the loop and choose your next emotional move on purpose. 

Then we go practical with nervous system regulation and mental health tools you can use immediately: regulate before you rationalize, five slow breaths with long exhales, unclenching the jaw, dropping the shoulders, and changing your environment. We also talk media boundaries that actually work like a 20-minute no-phone morning, intentional social media use, a hard stop time for news, and why watching the news while you eat is a fast track to feeling worse. Finally, we reframe choosing joy without guilt as strategic self-care, and we trade constant consumption for meaningful contribution so you can stay human without burning out. 

If this helped, subscribe, share it with a friend who keeps sending you traumatic reels, and leave a review so more people can find tools to protect their peace. What’s one boundary or joy habit you’re choosing this week?

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Transcript

Welcome And The Big Question

Why Joy Feels Unsafe Lately

A Doomscrolling Spiral Story

Awareness Steps To Break The Loop

Joy Is Resistance Not Selfish

Regulation And Media Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Well, hey, hi, and hello. Welcome back to Pocket Full of Mojo, the podcast that gently grabs you by the shoulders, looks you dead in the eyes, and says, you don't need to abandon yourself to be a good person. Because today we're going there. Because let's be honest, the world right now, it's a bit loud and heavy. A little bit like emotional whiplash on a loop, am I right? And if you are anything like my people, you know, the thoughtful ones, the empathetic ones, the recovering people pleasers who feel everything. You might be walking around with this quiet, nagging question. Am I allowed to feel okay when so much is not okay? Or even worse, is it selfish if I choose joy right now? Ugh. Yeah, that's bunk and no bueno. And no one thinks that about you. So today we're gonna unpack all that. We're talking about why we feel the way we feel, why joy can feel almost illegal lately, and how to give yourself full, unapologetic permission to choose yourself anyway. Because spoiler alert, your joy is not the problem. It's actually part of the solution. So let's hold hands and figure out together how to navigate this dumpster fire of a news cycle and find ways to choose joy without the guilt, shall we? Let's start the way we like to around here, pocket full of mojo, and get tuned in, tapped in, and turned on. Hello, lovely. How's it going? How's it flowing? Thank you so much for being here. I'm Steph, I'm your mojo maven, your gal pal, who helps you remember who the fuck you are and helps you reboot the fabulousness in your life. Cause what? You have too many good things going on? Yeah, didn't think so. So let's put some of those heavy bags down and make some room for some good stuff. That's why we're here. And not to flex, but I do know a little something about life being a dumpster fire. I'm talking like full mental breakdowns on two continents in two languages. If that was a Girl Scout badge, I'd be wearing them with pride. Jealous? No, but for real. We all have our own shit storms in our life, not to mention what's going on on this little blue marble we call home. So if you're feeling, you know, off or exhausted, frazzled or spent, it's not just you. Life these days is a lot. So let's just take a deep breath together and remember that we're here, this present moment. We are human, and despite evidence to the contrary, we are safe. And if you've been feeling like your nervous system just came out of a rent cycle inside a tornado, and joy feels about as accessible as tickets to Coachella, this episode is for you, my friend. So let's have a look at why we feel this way. It's a little bit of brain science, a little bit of, oh yeah, that's me energy. Okay, like let's zoom in a little closer because this part matters. We're gonna start with a wee little nerd alert because your brain has this built-in alarm system, and it's called the amygdala. She's tiny, she's shaped like an almond, she's real dramatic, and lives for a plot twist. Okay. Its entire job is to scan for threats to keep you safe. Now here's the catch. Your amygdala was designed for things like is that a bear? Is that a fire? Is that person chasing me with a spear? Turns out it was not designed to differentiate between that and not, is this the 47th stressful headline I've consumed before 9 a.m.? Yeah, like that alarm system doesn't know the difference. So every time you scroll, every time you take in all that shitty, heavy, alarming, violent, uncertain information, your brain goes, Cool, we're in danger. Let's activate that system. And what does that system do? It floods your body with cortisol, it narrows your focus and zooms in on what's wrong, which makes you hyper-vigilant, and it lowers and limits your capacity for joy, creativity, and calm. Boo. Because biologically, your brain thinks that joy is a distraction when survival is on the line. And then we have this other stupid thing called the negativity bias. And this is how your brain is wired to prioritize negative information because historically, missing something bad equals bigger risk than missing something good. So your brain is like, um, we're gonna hang on to this scary stuff just in case. And this is why one negative headline sticks longer than the 10 positive ones that you saw. It's why one awkward interaction can ruin your whole day, and it's why one piece of bad news can outweigh everything that's actually going okay in your life. And then we add our little people-pleasing lens on top of that, and you're not just noticing what's wrong, you're internalizing it, you're adopting it, you're giving it a name, you're absorbing it. And then consciously or subconsciously, you're thinking, what should I do? How should I feel? Am I doing enough? Is it okay that I'm okay? And suddenly your whole internal world becomes this emotional group project that you never signed up for. Because there can be a moment where you're a nervous wreck, and then and then what you figure out is like, oh, I'm doing this to myself. Yeah. Like, let me paint you a picture. Like a few weeks ago, I had one of those mornings. You know the ones. I wake up, I grab my phone. Big mistake. Huge. Because like within minutes of opening my eyes and before my feet have even hit the ground, I've consumed violent and stressful news. I've consumed someone's strong opinion about that stressful news. I got a post disguised as inspiration. But what I heard was, you should be doing more. And somehow I saw a reel that made me question my entire life direction all before breakfast. And I can literally feel it happening to me in real time. Like my chest tightens, my brain starts racing, my mood drops, like it just missed a step on the stairs. And then the thoughts start rolling in. I should be more informed. I should be doing more. Why do I feel off? What was I doing again? Oh shit. God, Steph, get it together. Classic. Now, the good news is that I was able to find the turning point. I caught myself. Not perfectly and certainly not instantly, but eventually I noticed, yeah, no, I didn't wake up like this. I became like this. And that awareness, that's the first crack in the spiral. So let's talk about awareness points because this is where the power is. I want to walk you through the exact shifts because this is where you can start to take your power back. So I took that morning and I really broke it down. And the first thing I realized was that my state, my being, how I was feeling, was actually influenced. It wasn't factual. Like nothing in my immediate environment was actually wrong. No one was chasing me. Nothing was on fire. My coffee was still hot, but my body was reacting like something was chasing me or on fire. And that's when I clocked it. This feeling is my nervous system, not my actual life. And then I noticed that the input led to the emotional connection. So what I consumed shaped how I felt. Not permanently, but certainly immediately. So that's when I asked myself, would I feel this way if I hadn't picked up my phone first thing in the morning? Yeah. No, no, I would not. So the third step is super important. Interrupt the pattern. I didn't fix it, I just interrupted it, and that's the key. The idea isn't to go from spiraling to Zen Monk in three seconds. You just need to break the loop. So I put my phone down. I stood up, I changed rooms, I physically changed my state. I went outside, cold air, feet in the grass, deep breath. And then slowly my system started to settle. And that gave me the clarity to do step number four, which is choose my next emotional move on purpose, not based on guilt, not based on what I should be doing, based on what would actually support me right now. And the answer wasn't, well, you probably should keep scrolling. It was regulate first, then re-engage intentionally. And that shift, that's the game changer. So I did a quick five-minute meditation, looking out the window at nature and concentrating on my breath. Literally the easiest way to regulate. And then I decided to go analog and do the crossword with my phone on Do Not Disturb. Because what was coming out of that phone was literally and figuratively disturbing. And this is a complex topic because I want to call out the struggle of being faced with all of these atrocities that are happening around the globe and why our joy feels wrong sometimes. And it's important to name the thing because there's this unspoken belief floating around that says, if things are bad, I should feel bad too. Like sadness is some kind of proof that you care. Or taking on the heaviness of the world is your moral obligation. And if you dare to laugh, rest, enjoy your life, your brain can sometimes go, um, excuse me, you spent 40 minutes scrolling through 20-second clips of the worst of humanity. So shouldn't we be suffering a little more? It's like there's some emotional survivor's guilt, but for your everyday life. And listen, your empathy is beautiful and your awareness is powerful. But somewhere along the line, we picked up this idea that joy means ignorance, and peace means you're abusing your privilege, and feeling good means that you don't care. And that's simply not true. Like I was watching the talking heads front man David Byrne at Coachella this last weekend, and he said, love and kindness are a form of resistance, and that it's one of the most punk things that you can do these days. Love and kindness are a form of rebellion, and that was all the permission slip I needed to keep pursuing joy. So let's keep debunking this selfishness idea that's out there, because with that little wisdom nugget, we can lovingly and respectfully dismantle that nonsense. And because here's what we know we know that choosing joy isn't selfish. We know that choosing yourself is also not selfish. And we know that burning yourself out in the name of being quote unquote good, and that's not noble. It's unsustainable and it's unnecessary. Nobody's asking you to do it. Because here's the truth that no one's saying loud enough. A depleted, overwhelmed, emotionally fried version of you is not more helpful to the world. You don't become more impactful by becoming more exhausted. You don't become more compassionate by abandoning yourself for a subjective greater good. In fact, the opposite is true. Because when you're grounded, when you're resourced, when you're okay, you show up better, you love better, you lead better, you make clearer decisions, and you can go out there and create actual impact instead of just internal chaos. So no, choosing joy is not selfish. It's actually strategic. So let's upgrade the definition of what caring actually looks like. Because caring doesn't mean carrying everything. Caring doesn't mean spiraling, and caring does not mean that you have to feel heavy 24-7 to prove your humanity. But you can care deeply and still laugh at dinner. You can stay informed and still protect your peace. You can be compassionate and still choose a life that feels good to live. Those things are not in conflict, they're actually in balance. Here comes your mojo-coded permission slip, because we want to make this usable in the real life. Because choosing joy without the tools, that's how we end up fake smiling and low-key spiraling. Because it's all about enlightenment. Because this just isn't a mindset shift, it's a practice. Because the only spiral that's good for you, in my opinion, is curly fries. Okay, so let's get practical. The first thing you want to do is regulate before you rationalize. So we're gonna start with a hot take. You cannot mindset your way out of a dysregulated nervous system. So we're gonna start with the body. You're gonna take five slow deep breaths, and the long exhale is the key here. And it's gonna feel like it's taking forever, but stay with it. Do all five because a busy nervous system is gonna ask you to rush. Resist that thought. You've got the time, I promise. Then you put your feet flat on the ground, on the grass barefoot if you can. This option is not currently available in Winnipeg as it's oscillating between 70 degrees Celsius and snow flurries in the middle of April, but I digress. The next thing you're gonna do, and you can do it right now, is unclenched your jaw. Yeah, right now, and roll your shoulders back, get them down from your ears, and this all tells your brain we're safe enough to relax. There you go. And that's just step one. You've achieved enough regulation to take the next steps. So let's go to step number two. You're gonna want to create some emotional speed bumps in your day. Because right now, your inputs are a highway, and we need to add some stop signs. And you can try this tomorrow and you can thank me later. No phone for at least the first 20 minutes of your day. Instead, try looking out the window, step outside, take some breaths, think about what you want to get out of your day, how you want to feel, and you will be amazed how that changes your mood, your choices. Like I got really good advice from my friend. She's like, I go to bed, I put my phone in the bathroom, I have a little clock next to my bed to help me wake up in the morning so I don't have to, my phone isn't my alarm, so it's not the first thing I touch. Because before you know it, you're checking in on your social media and you don't even know why you're there. So another speed bump is making sure that you're intentional when you go onto your social media and you ask yourself, what am I doing here? And another thing you can do is create a hard stop time for consuming news. Just like you say no caffeine after 2 p.m., which is crazy, but you do you, say okay, no news after dinner. And while we're on that note, I want you to be sure to avoid watching the news while you're eating. Because remember, our brain doesn't know the difference between what we're watching, which can be horrific, and actually experiencing it. So if you want to cure your heartburn, take the news out of your dinner plans. And this isn't avoidance, it's boundary setting with your brain. It's giving your nervous system a fighting chance to actually do its job in a way that actually supports the life that you're actually living. Actually. Because the world can be heavy and your life can still have light in it, and you can care deeply and protect your peace. And this pulls you out of that all or nothing thinking, which is where that guilt lives. And you are not here to pick one emotion and then live there forever. We're complex, and you are here to hold complexity without losing yourself in it, and that's the skill, that's the work, and that's how you stay grounded without going numb, and to stay open without getting overwhelmed. And honestly, that one shift alone can take you from emotionally reactive to quietly, powerfully in charge of your inner world. No drama, no guild spiral, just grounded, steady energy. We like her, we keep her. The next thing you can do is schedule joy like it matters. Because it does. And if you wait for joy to happen organically right now, you might be waiting for a while. So we get intentional and you put it in your day timer like it's a meeting, whether that's movement or music or connection or something that makes you laugh, not as a reward, but as a requirement. Like tomorrow I'm going to a day rave for old people, and it's like going to a nightclub, but it starts at 5 p.m. and ends at 9 p.m. Because when you're over 40, you like to be in your pajams by 9:30. So I'm calling it a therapeutic dance party, and I'm gonna go and I'm just gonna dance it out, and it's gonna feel amazing. Another thing you want to build into your routine is to give yourself a capacity check. Like before you say yes or engage or respond or dive in, making sure, and I've talked about this before, do I have capacity for this right now? Like I always say, I can't let my ambition monster make my schedule because she wants to do all the things. And what I do know about myself is that my capacity is not the same from one day to the next, from one week to the next. So being able to know and give yourself a chance to say yes or no or not today to some things is key. So when you ask, do I actually have capacity for this right now? If the answer is no, that's your answer is no. Not your guilt, not your conditioning, your capacity. And the last hot tip is to choose contribution over consumption. Because look, if you're feeling overwhelmed by the world, it's a sign that you're alive and paying attention. So what you can do to prevent the erosion of your God-given light and joy is to shift from taking in more information to take one meaningful. Action. So that might be supporting a cause, volunteering, calling your bestie or your mom or your loved ones, having a real conversation, helping someone in your actual life. Because action is what grounds you. And this overconsumption is what will keep spinning you. So here's the reframe I want you to walk away with. You're not a bad person for feeling good. You're not disconnected for protecting your energy. And you are not selfish for choosing yourself. You are someone learning how to stay human in a world that constantly pulls you off your tracks. And staying human takes awareness and intention and practice. But it is available to you every single day. So I'm gonna throw a little mantra of the week at you. We're gonna re-anchor with more weight. We're gonna say I am allowed to feel good, even when everything isn't. And if you'll let me add one more layer, my joy supports me, and a supported version of me serves the world better. So this is your pocket full of mojo reminder. You don't need to carry the weight of the world to prove that you care about it. You just need to stay anchored in yourself so you don't get lost in it. That's the work. That's the practice. That's the mojo. So what I want you to walk away with today is that you don't need to shrink your joy to match the weight of the world. That's not fair. And you don't need to prove your goodness by being exhausted all the time. And you don't need permission from anyone else to take care of yourself. But if you do, this is me giving you permission. Because you're allowed to feel good, you're allowed to laugh, and you're allowed to choose peace. And in doing that, you don't disconnect from the world, you become someone who can actually show up for it. Stronger, clearer, steadier. That's the real flex. So if you're sitting there listening and thinking, okay, I want to be grounded and calm and one of those emotionally stable queens, but my brain is currently doing parkour. Hmm, I got you. Because this episode, this podcast, this whole vibe, it's powered in part by my not-so secret weapon. I'm talking about Mojo Gummies. They are my go-to for clean energy, focus, and that like chefs mental clarity without the jitters or the crash. Basically, they help me stay in my lane, mind my business, and deliver these spicy little truth bombs without spiraling into a snack break and a nap. So if you want in, there's a discount code waiting for you in the show notes. But for now, my friend, now you've got your very own pocket full of mojo so that you can go forth and choose yourself today. Not in a loud, dramatic way, but in like quiet, cute, powerful, I got me kind of way. Now be sure to share this with a friend who keeps sending you the traumatic reels. And be sure to tune in next time because we gotta keep them pockets full of mojo. Alright, thank you so much for being here. It means the world that you keep showing up for yourself like this. And I only hope that it helps you find the joy and remember that you are an unstoppable force of nature. So with that, I'm gonna let you go out into the world. Choose yourself, choose love, and I will see you next time. Ciao for now. Love you, bye.