30. Do You Love the Holiday Season, Yet Dread Time With Your Extended Family. 3 Tips That Will Get You Through The Season.

What if the joy of the holiday season could coexist with peace of mind?

Join me, Krystal Jae, The Empowerment Goddess, as I explore this delicate balance in the latest episode of Overcome Suffering in Silence.

As someone who's intimately familiar with the emotional rollercoaster of the holiday season,—from Thanksgiving at my mom's house to the joys and challenges of hosting Christmas.

This episode offers a heartfelt look at how the excitement of togetherness can sometimes be overshadowed by stress, anxiety, and even sadness.

I'm here to empower you with 3 practical steps to protect your mental health this season. Together, we'll confront the pressures of holiday gatherings.

Whether you're grappling with holiday-induced anxiety or simply seeking to savor the season's joy without losing your peace, this conversation is for you.

Takeaways

• The holiday season can bring stress and anxiety.
• Self-care is essential for mental well-being.
• Setting boundaries helps manage family dynamics.
• It's never too late to establish boundaries.
• Communicating boundaries can foster respect.
• A support system is crucial during the holidays.
• Coping skills can minimize holiday anxieties.
• Reflect on the joys of the holiday season.
• People pleasing can drain your energy.
• Embrace who you are during the holidays.

Transcript

Krystal Jae: 0:01

Hey, hey, Krystal me , the Empowerment Goddess, and today we are going to be talking about the holidays. The holiday season is just around the corner and it usually seems like once Halloween hits, it's like Thanksgiving's back to back, and then it's Christmas and then New Year's, right. And so I wanna just talk about the holidays and how it affects us during, how it affects our mental health and how we approach things, especially if we enjoy the holidays, but then it's a little stressful. It brings on anxiety, it brings on that sense of can I make it through? And so, with this episode, we're going to talk about the stress and the anxiety and sometimes the sadness that many people face during the holiday season, and sometimes it's a combination. So let's hop in and just talk about it. And, of course, there's three tips, some steps that you can take, because, as you know, I believe in giving you tools for your tool bag. Hey, hey, welcome. To Overcome Suffering in Silence, it's time for you to stop people pleasing and create your better life. I am Crystal J, the Empowerment Goddess, and your Somatic, trauma-informed Life Coach. This season has already started in a way I couldn't even imagine. Now, are you ready for some realness, raw healing and a glimpse into what it feels like to walk in peace raw healing and a glimpse into what it feels like to walk in peace, clarity and purpose, while truly knowing who you are. If your answer is yes, then you've come to the right place.

Krystal Jae: 1:52

For the past two decades, I've been blessed to share my journey with countless women and a few men, empowering them to overcome the lingering shadows of physical, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse. Together, we confront the limitations that hold us back, like self-doubt, guilt, fear, shame and that pervasive sense of unworthiness. Dig deep to uncover the root of these feelings. Break free from the inner pain of suffering and silence. Find faith, grow in that faith and embrace the life that is meant for you. Enjoy the real stories and practical advice, life-enhancing skills and spiritual wisdom to guide you from pain to purpose, self-doubt to confidence, and confusion to clarity. So let's leave the struggle bus behind and embark on this journey to discover the freedom, beauty and strength that lies within you. Remember you are not alone and you are enough when times get tough. Pray, listen and follow through, because God loves you, and trust me when I say he is not your trauma. Welcome to Overcome Suffering in Silence with Crystal J.

Krystal Jae: 3:13

I love the holidays and I love family. I am a very family oriented person and I enjoy spending time with my family. I enjoy spending time with my family, and for Thanksgiving, everybody's usually at my mom's house. She's playing Thanksgiving and she's told us kids, if y'all move away, thanksgiving is mine. That's when y'all come home. And so when I actually lived away, I lived in Atlanta for a little while, and when I was um, my husband was stationed at Fort Stewart. You know we came home to Texas for Thanksgiving, and so, um, I think in all the years I've only missed one Thanksgiving with my family. And so then for Christmas, um, and so then for Christmas.

Krystal Jae: 4:04

It's the last, oh my goodness, five years at least, I've been the host of Christmas, and so you know it comes with a lot of happiness, a lot of joy, but then there's also stress and anxiety and a little bit of sadness that you know, I've experienced, and I know many of you have experienced that as well. So let's talk about that today and really get into what we can do to protect our mental health during this time. What steps can we take to protect our well-being right? And so I'm going to give you three steps, or three tips for this holiday season, and this is just going to be the beginning, because we're going to do a more in-depth conversation about the holiday season and what that means and the joys that we have, the togetherness that is out there, right? Because one thing I love I love when my oldest son he's in the army and so he usually comes home during the holidays and I really love that because I have all my kids in the house. We get to play games, we get to open up presents, we get to spend a lot of that quality time together, and so I know many of you have family that comes in town, or maybe you're the one that goes and visit family, right? So let's just really talk about the first step, which is prioritizing your self-care.

Krystal Jae: 5:47

And, as you know, self-care is more than going and getting our nails and feet done. It's more than the massages. It's more than you know going and getting. You know a guy going and getting his hair cut, or you know watching football or whatever else. It's also about making sure that you are taking care of your mental, your physical health, your sexual, your medical, all of that, your whole body, health, right, your wellness, okay, and with that it comes with different self-care activities that we can do, and so one of the things that we can do to get ready and prep ourselves for the holiday season is to remind ourselves of why we enjoy the holiday season, why we enjoy getting together with friends and family. And if anxiety takes over, let's figure out, before Thanksgiving and before Christmas, what those anxieties are, what coping skills can we put into effect to help us get past those anxieties, to minimize them as much as possible? And so we're going to have a full episode on just that, on just different skills that we can use to help minimize the anxieties. And so, to help me with that, I would love to hear from you so that way I can make sure I'm giving you proper skills and techniques to use with that right.

Krystal Jae: 7:43

And then let's talk about why do families get together during the holiday season? Okay, and then another tip as well is to know what your boundaries are. Let's take time now to put those into effect, because I know, if you're you know, there's been some clients of mine who's like I love the holidays and I love my family, but I have this one family member who knows what button to push, this one family member who knows what button to push, and it always sends me over the edge, and so the family gathering goes from being something that's exciting and fun to something that is dreadful, and I just don't want to be there anymore. So a lot of times I leave early or I go and I isolate, and so we don't want it to become dreadful or isolating or you having to leave early. So let's set those boundaries and start learning how to communicate those boundaries now, so then people can know them. Then, right, and you're like okay, Krystal, this is like the last week of October. It's kind of late for that. Thanksgiving's only a few weeks away. It's not too late, it's never too late, okay, and so one of the things that I want you to do to start setting your boundaries is I want you to take time and either write it down or get your phone, do a voice note or do a video, and when you're doing that, I want you to talk about the holidays how are they usually?

Krystal Jae: 9:42

I want you to talk about how holidays how are they usually? I want you to talk about how you would love for it to be. I want you to talk about the anxieties that you have, even if you have the stress or the sadness. I want you to list those, what those are, and then later on you're going to go back and you're going to break those down. Why do you have anxiety? Why do you have that certain stress? Why do you have that certain sadness? Because then, when we know the root or why, then we can come back to that and implement things to help you through.

Krystal Jae: 10:32

So if there are boundaries to be placed, we can put those boundaries in place, right? So is it someone maybe bringing up something that happened in childhood, or someone bringing up something in your past that you're like I'm a better person, I'm not that person I was before? Or maybe it's them not agreeing with something that you're doing and they always bring it up because they know that that's that button to push. They know that that's that button to push. So let's use that now to discover the words to use to place those boundaries. And then, once you find those words to place those for those boundaries, then we can communicate those to other people in your family, including that person. Communicate those to other people in your family, including that person. So then it won't to where then people are aware? Will everybody respect it fully, at first, no, but when you can tell it repeatedly and say it and say and let them know look, I don't appreciate you, I don't appreciate when you do this. And so, whenever that happens, this is what I'm going to have to do to protect myself. Right, because we want to have those boundaries, because those boundaries allows room for respect, it allows room for understanding and clarity, instead of when a wall puts a complete block.

Krystal Jae: 12:11

Okay, and while you're doing that, I want you to also write down the joys that you have, the happiness, you know, that holiday spirit, write those down and then put down, like, what gives you those?

Krystal Jae: 12:29

Where do they come from? What new things do you want to add to that? Ok, and then tip three is going to be that overall support, that healthy support system that we always talk about, right? And so sometimes it may be that you that it helps to do a check in with your therapist, check in with your therapist before the big family gathering. It may be that you check in with your life coach and come up with a plan for the holiday season. And if you don't have a life coach, hey, my name is Krystal Jae , but we want to have that support system even bringing in different family members or friends that can be a part of that support system to where you can communicate the different things that you are doing for self-care, the different things that you are doing for self-care, the things you're doing for your mental health, for your emotional well-being, for your physical health, and also to where they can help you with your boundaries as well, because sometimes people may not want to hear it coming from us, but when they hear that someone is supporting us through that, sometimes it makes them open their ears a little bit more, to kind of listen, right, and so we want to establish that healthy support system as well. So I just want to come in today and just say, hey, the holiday season is right around the corner and it doesn't have to be very stressful, it doesn't have to be anxiety filled and it's okay if there's a little sadness in there.

Krystal Jae: 14:30

I understand, I lost my dad during, you know, at the beginning of December. So you know, every year I kind of think about that, right, and so we grieve our loved ones and in maybe even old situations that we may have had, right, and so we just want this holiday season to be the best that we can make it. So let's start today. So let's start today. And so, if you are ready and you got more that you really want to know about the holiday season and how you can prep for it. When it comes to getting yourself ready for it, you know we've been talking a lot about people pleasing, right, and I don't want you to go through this season really people pleasing everyone else and draining yourself. So let's get some things in place that are just for you, right? So, if you're ready, book a coaching session, reserve it Right. You can go to krystaljae. com/book-online and get your coaching session.

Krystal Jae: 15:50

And let's get you prepped for this holiday season to where you can go in with that joy, peace and happiness, to where you can show your love and live in that that you may have for the holiday season. And so I look forward to talking to you on this topic even deeper, because we're going to break down the holiday season, the anxieties, the stress and the coping skills, the setting boundaries, how to have the hard conversations with people prior to. So then that way, the season can go a little sooner and, as always, I want you to remember that it's your time to overcome self-loathing and sadness To stop people pleasing so that you can have that better life that you want. It's time for you to find the courage To live in the path that you envision for yourself and, of course, this time is to embrace who you are and who you are Living your purpose. It's your time. See you next time.