31. Overwhelmed by Stress Messing with Your Health? Try This Activity So You Can Gain Your Life Back.

Have you ever wondered how to stop the cycle of stress and negative self-talk that's holding you back from your full potential? 

Unlock a life of peace, clarity, and self-love with the transformative insights shared by the Who Am I Expert, your Certified Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach and The Empowerment Goddess, Krystal Jae, as she discusses the overwhelming stress that can take over our lives and health. 

She emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and offers 1-1 coaching services and a 6 month transformative coaching program designed to help individuals reclaim their lives. 

Through personal anecdotes, trauma informed care, and expert training she illustrates the impact of stress on health and the journey towards clarity and purpose. 

This episode concludes with actionable steps for listeners to break free from self-doubt and create an elevated life aligned with their values and goals.

Krystal Jae shares an essential strategy to help you regain control over your life and find purpose. Krystal Jae guides you through the shadows of self-doubt, guilt, fear, and shame, shedding light on the profound impact of past traumas on your neurological system. Through intentional living, you'll learn how to move beyond mere survival and align your life with your own core values.

Explore the path to an elevated life as Krystal Jae addresses the common feeling of disconnection and the battle with self-doubt many of us face. 

Discover how retraining your mind to reject negative triggers and embracing self-love can lead to significant personal growth. 

Learn the importance of setting boundaries, identifying stressors, and crafting actionable steps to overcome them. 

With exclusive offers and insights into building a supportive network, this episode provides the tools necessary to break free from people-pleasing and silent suffering. 

Tune in for a journey towards self-discovery and empowerment, and start living your best life today!

Chapters

• 0:00 Overcome Self-Doubt and Find Purpose
• 22:49 Break Free From Self-Doubt and Negativity
• 45:24 Path to Elevated Life

Transcript

Krystal Jae: 0:00

Hey, it's Crystal J, your trauma-informed coach, your who Am I expert and, of course, the empowerment goddess. Today we're going to be talking about that overwhelming stress that be messing with our health, and I'm going to give you an activity that you can do so you can gain your life back. So just hold up, make sure you get your pen and paper and, if you're driving, make sure that you're downloading this episode so that you can come back to it and you can listen and take action, because over here on the Overcome Suffering in Silence podcast, we believe in action, we believe in implementation right and we believe in living our best purpose-filled life. Hey, hey, welcome to Overcome Suffering in Silence. It's time for you to stop people-pleasing and create your better life. I am Crystal J, the empowerment goddess and your somatic, trauma-informed life coach. This season has already started in a way I couldn't even imagine. Now, are you ready for some realness, raw healing and a glimpse into what it feels like to walk in peace, clarity and purpose, while truly knowing who you are? If your answer is yes, then you've come to the right place.

Krystal Jae: 1:29

For the past two decades, I've been blessed to share my journey with countless women and a few men, empowering them to overcome the lingering shadows of physical, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse. Together, together, we confront the limitations that hold us back, like self-doubt, guilt, fear, shame and that pervasive sense of unworthiness. Dig deep to uncover the root of these feelings. Break free from the inner pain of suffering and silence, find faith, grow in that faith and embrace the life that is meant for you. Enjoy the real stories and practical advice, life-enhancing skills and spiritual wisdom to guide you from pain to purpose, self-doubt to confidence, and confusion to clarity. So let's leave the struggle bus behind and embark on this journey to discover the freedom, beauty and strength that lies within you. Remember you are not alone and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through, because God loves you, and trust me when I say he is not your trauma. Welcome to Overcome Suffering in Silence with Crystal J. Can y'all believe it's November already? Well, one thing about November that I look forward to is I look forward to Black Friday and Cyber Monday, even though a lot of the sales starts prior to Black Friday nowadays. Right, but look, I'm not complaining because, hey, I love a good sale.

Krystal Jae: 3:11

Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, constantly questioning your own worth? Do you feel guilty for even thinking about something for yourself? Does the voice inside your head relentlessly whisper that you are never good enough, no matter how hard you try? What if, instead of being weighed down by these burdens, you could step into a life where your worth is undeniable and your purpose is crystal clear? Imagine a world where you are no longer a prisoner to the expectation of others, where your decisions are not dictated by the fear of disappointing those around you. What if you could discover who you truly are, free from the shackles of people pleasing and the silent suffering that has become all too familiar?

Krystal Jae: 4:33

It's time to embark on this transformative journey that will empower you reclaim your life, one step at a time, and as a trauma-informed coach and expert in guiding individuals just like you through the complex maze of self-discovery and personal growth, with a deep understanding of the struggles faced by people pleasers, I offer two life-changing services that are designed to help you overcome your inner turmoil and embrace a fulfilling life. With the personal one-on-one coaching sessions, I specialize in helping individuals like you tap into their true potential. Their true potential. It's a safe space to explore your identity, understand your needs and learn to prioritize yourself without guilt. Imagine waking up each day and feeling confident in your choices, and, with my guidance, you can uncover the layers of self-doubt and people-pleasing that have held you back and really begin to take control of your best life. With the six-month all-in program, you will be diving deeper within yourself, you will learn to love who you are, set boundaries, find your purpose, and all of this will allow you to move away from people-pleasing tendencies and towards strength, peace and joy. While overcoming self-doubt, confusion and fear, you will discover who you are and establish success in your career, in your personal life Because, as we all know, life can feel overwhelming and, despite your efforts to provide for your family, you might sense something is missing.

Krystal Jae: 7:13

You may suffer in silence, being burdened by the thoughts of stress affecting your health, feelings of unworthiness and the constant pressure to meet expectations. Many face the pain of self-doubt, often rooted in past traumas, which can lead to a feeling of never being good enough and an inability to acknowledge your achievements. You may find yourself grappling with negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy stemming from childhood experiences and societal pressures making every day feel like a struggle. Your mental burden can lead to physical exhaustion, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from your true self. From your true self Now. This program helps you to understand trauma and its impact on your neurological system.

Krystal Jae: 8:33

Utilize therapeutic art techniques to promote healing. Move beyond survival mode and prioritize self-care. Set healthy boundaries and identify a supportive network. It's about living intentionally aligned with your values and your beliefs. So are you ready to take the first step towards your best self today? Embrace this special pre-sale opportunity to transform your life Now. Early signups will receive exclusive bonuses and to let y'all know, the pre-sale is better than the actual sale.

Krystal Jae: 9:28

So why not give yourself the gift of grace and the chance to heal? Say goodbye to the days where your soul feels lost and your mind overwhelmed. Say hello to a future filled with clarity, peace and self-love. Can you see the potential that lies within you, the potential that's waiting to be unleashed Now? Join us now and imagine a life where each day is no longer just another day, but it's a step closer to an extraordinary life that you deserve. Let's face your vulnerabilities together and turn them into your greatest strengths. Are you ready to push back against the voice that says you are not enough, because you are enough. You are more than enough. It's your time to say yes to your journey of self-discovery, and that is at krystalj ae. com forward slash Black Friday pre-sale.

Krystal Jae: 10:57

Before I said yes to myself for self-discovery, I spent years living in a mess of stress. I've had migraines since I was, oh my goodness, as long as I can remember, because I remember having headaches quotation marks. Right, I had headaches and everyone would be like, oh, oh, girl, it's just a headache, you're just being soft, you know, everybody gets them. Well, of course, later on, even all the way up through middle school, and as much as I was complaining how bad they hurt and I would have to go and be under the covers and everything else, it was still like, girl, you having headaches, you'll be all right. No, it wasn't until like my late teenage years, like high school, but several years in, that it really came out that we found out that my headaches quotation marks was really migraines. And then later on in life, those migraines evolved into hemiplegic migraines. Because why? I had a whole bunch of stress in my life, but the whole point of it was is that we didn't know that it was hemiplegic migraines. I suffered for a while with having episodes of only being able to just see shadows. My memory would go horrible. My left side would go weak If you haven't heard of hemiplegic migraines.

Krystal Jae: 12:48

Hemiplegic migraines they basically mimic a stroke, and I was dealing with that for a while after I had my daughter, who is now 13. And I lived in that space of suffering with my health, my health and it wasn't until months in and having to bring my mom in to help tell the medical professionals that I was really suffering with these symptoms, because at one point they thought it was all in my head and so I had to bring somebody in to be like no, she's really experiencing these things. And like I'm going to the hospitals and they're seeing me mid episode and every time they're giving me the migraine cocktail, they are hooking me up to all kinds of machines, they're keeping me overnight on a stroke protocol and everything else because it mimics a stroke, and so we didn't know why my regular migraines evolved into hemiplegic migraines. But we knew that like I now was put on like this whole oh my gosh just like this whole cocktail of meds that I would have to take every day. Then I had meds to where when I'm feeling a migraine coming on, when the migraine actually comes on, and it was a whole hot mess and I didn't want to continue to live that way, that way, because the migraines were. I had more migraine days than regular days. That's how bad it was.

Krystal Jae: 14:37

And when you're living in a mess of stress, right, a lot of people get the raised blood pressure. I experienced that for the first time and I was like, oh my goodness, what is this? Because I'm someone who my blood pressure is usually on the lower end, my heart rate is usually on the lower end. So to have a raised blood pressure, raised heart rate and everything else, that was completely new for me. Like y'all, my heart was beating out my chest. I couldn't lay down. I could actually hear like the swooshing of, like the blood going through my veins. When my heart was beating, when I would lay down, like it was scary. I experienced like this tingling in my feet.

Krystal Jae: 15:36

I had sleepless nights, fatigued days and oh, let's not get started on the weight gain. I'm still battling that one. But hey, we're coming down and we're getting. You know we're putting in that work y'all. But it's about toning. You know I'm not really, I don't really care about losing weight. You know what I mean. I need to lose a little bit, but it's more about toning it right, but anyway.

Krystal Jae: 16:03

And so stress brings all of these things on and we live with them for the longest.

Krystal Jae: 16:15

We get prescribed medicines to manage the symptoms and then it just keeps getting worse and we just keep getting more meds, or we just end up with a life full of meds and a whole bunch of symptoms and we don't want to continue to live that way. And because what they say, what's that saying? Stress kills. It's not just a saying, it's reality. Stress literally can kill us, right, because we talked about how our mind, because we talked about how our mind, body and soul have this whole connection and how our fight and flight triggers hormone releases and then, with those hormone releases, our body gets to doing all these different things. And we talked about all of that, right. And so we don't want to live in this cycle of living in stress and being like, oh, it's going to be okay, this is just life. Because it's not okay.

Krystal Jae: 17:31

And I've shared this over and over and over and over again and I'm going to keep sharing it because when I had my mental breakdown, that was one of the worst experiences that I felt and I can still remember to this day the looks in my children's eyes, of them being worried about me, the way that my husband would cuddle me because he seen how broken I was. And this is. They've always seen me as the strong one. You know, I took care of everybody else. But now here I am, broken, like an infant, needing to be nurtured and taken care of and provided for, and so it was a whole new thing, not just for them, but also for me. And when I was in that dark place and once I started to give, once I got the strength to be like okay, I don't want to live this way, I want to be better. I wanted to learn how to gain my life back.

Krystal Jae: 18:50

And so today we're going to talk about how you can gain your life back, but not just gain it back to where you remember it being good. We're talking about getting your life back to where it's even better than it ever was before. We're going to be talking about gaining clarity in who you are, knowing what your purpose is and beginning to live your purpose-filled life the way that you envision it. No more living for everyone else. Instead, you can live with everyone else. No more struggling to make decisions. No more secretly hating your life. It's about loving who you are. Love your loved ones as the people they truly are the people they truly are, because we're going to stop trying to fix others, stop trying to fix their situations, and we're going to empower them to live their best lives as well. This will enable us to be a better parent, a better spouse, a better partner, a better sister, a better brother, a better daughter, a better son. Whatever your position in life is, you're going to be better.

Krystal Jae: 20:54

It's about having the career that you want, not the one that you just settled with. It's about having the success that you deserve, because there's no more suffering in silence and there's no more wondering who you deserve. Because there's no more suffering in silence and there's no more wondering who you are, because you're going to be able to stand up and say, hey, I'm Crystal J, I'm the empowerment goddess. Who am I? Expert? And your somatic, trauma-informed coach, because that's who I am, and you are going to be able to introduce yourself with that same love, passion, joy, fulfillment and purpose. So, if you haven't done it yet, this is the perfect time to share this episode with the first person on your mind. And then, of course, I don't know what you're waiting for you should already have your pen and your paper out taking notes. Y'all already know we're about learning here. We're about implementation. So you already know there's going to be little nuggets for you to be writing down and implementing into your life so you can overcome suffering and silence, so you can discover who you are, so you can say no to people pleasing and you can say yes to yourself. So do you have that pen and paper yet? All right, because I don't want no more of the.

Krystal Jae: 22:49

I have an issue with myself. I've heard that many times from several clients and it takes them a while to acknowledge that they have an issue with myself. They know it on the inside, but it's hard for them to speak it on the outside. And that's okay, because that's why we have steps and that's why we implement the tips, so that way you can become the best version of you. So, instead of you having an issue with yourself, you will love yourself.

Krystal Jae: 23:36

Okay, because I was just talking to a client and that was one of her main statements was I have an issue with myself and I don't know where it comes from. All I know is that, no matter what I do, it's never good enough. She felt like everything was a checkbox, like, yep, I did that. Yep, I washed dishes. Yep, I got the kids off to school. Yep, I paid this bill. Yep, I went to the store. Yep, I watched my TV show. Everything was a checkbox.

Krystal Jae: 24:36

And I don't want you to continue living your life with everything having a checkbox, with no time to comprehend how awesome you are. It's time for you to open the door from being shut down. I know that you may feel that your brain is fried and you have no more room to learn anything else or to add anything else to it, because it's already done, for there's no space left and you just can't push on. But I'm going to tell you this is to break free from that stressing, because we are no longer being overwhelmed by stress. We are no longer allowing stress to control your life, self-doubt really starting to get to you the more alone that you are.

Krystal Jae: 26:26

Is self-doubt always been in the back of your head and are affirmations, ooh, affirmations. I don't believe in that crap. I understand, because when I, too, first started affirmations, I can be like I am loved yeah, sometimes I'm loved. And yeah, I do believe my children love me. I'm going away somewhere else. No, I am worthy. Am I worthy, though? I really don't believe that, but they say I need to continue saying it. So yeah, I'm worthy. Whatever, I am successful. Well, you know, I have things and I have a house and I have food and I have a car. Yeah, I guess I am successful. No, we're not doing that with affirmations y'all. That's not what we're doing, but we're going to have a whole thing on affirmations another day.

Krystal Jae: 27:47

My point is it's time to break free from the self-doubt. It's time for you to be in control of your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions. It's time for you to be in control of your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions. It's time for you to retrain your subconscious mind and your conscious mind, for you to be in charge of what your subconscious mind is going to be knocking at your conscious mind door, saying, hey, remember this. You're going to be like no, we don't remember that. Okay, because you're going to be in control and they're not going to trigger with every single little sound or trigger you to shut down with every little yell that you hear, because when you were five, you lived in a house, a child. It takes you back to that five-year-old you and you begin to get your palms sweaty, your heart begins racing, your eyes start getting watery and it just feels like you just can't get a good breath in. It's time to rewire our mind and let it know hey, you're okay, I got you. We don't have to react to that yell anymore because we are safe, because, yes, I do know that that inner child in you is still in pain from the years of trauma that you experienced. And the adult you is being the protector, protector, and that's why one you either walking around with the hard shell like you can't be touched, or you're walking around with a mask on in public. But when you're by yourself, you're so vulnerable and just wish that you had a protector, wish that you can get a moment of peace from the negativity running in your head.

Krystal Jae: 31:10

You don't have to continue to keep going, day after day after day with all this stuff in your head. You may be even journaling so much that your hand cramp. I've been there, heck, one time. When I got done. I'm flipping page after page after page and I'm like goodness, I might as well keep going, because I almost got two chapters in a book right here. Can you relate?

Krystal Jae: 31:41

I know you may be feeling like you don't know how to make your life better or how you can make it right. So you just keep trying, day after day after day, to keep checking off the checklist, to keep doing everything possible to keep your house in order, and you might even do it with a smile on your face and everybody might think you're the best at it. But in your mind, in your head, you everybody might think you're the best at it, but in your mind, in your head, you're like oh my gosh, this is the most difficult thing ever. When can I get a break? You may feel like you don't have the time or the energy to focus on yourself, to have me time or to have time for you to start your healing journey. But let me tell you, even if it's just five minutes out your day, it's worth it.

Krystal Jae: 33:18

It's the best thing that a lot of my past clients have said that they have ever did for themselves, because trauma leaves behind so much crap that it takes over our mind and our body. It leaves us suffering in silence and sometimes out loud. And if you're not the one suffering in silence, you're probably listening to this podcast because you know someone. It may be your neighbor, it may be your brother, your sister, your co-worker, your mom, your aunt, your uncle coworker, your mom, your aunt, your uncle, your baby mama, your baby daddy, who is silently wishing for a guide, for an answer, wishing that life will just give them a break. Are you wishing that life would just give you a break? Because with one of my past clients, lk, she left a comment, a review, and her review it says how do I even start?

Krystal Jae: 35:04

Crystal J is absolutely amazing. I never thought anyone would understand me. She has been such an amazing inspiration and teacher. I look up to her so much. I was in a very down place, thought life just didn't make sense and I wasn't myself and I didn't think life was worth anything. I'm still working hard each week, but she has given me hope, has shown me how far I've come and I am so proud of myself. Thank you, crystal J. I don't know where I would be without you. If you ever felt like giving up, I highly recommend her trauma course and all her other sessions. A plus, plus, plus heart, heart, y'all.

Krystal Jae: 36:04

This is about a real life transformation. This is about giving yourself grace. It's about being thankful for yourself Because you already living life with tears running down, thinking dang, it's hard out here. You want to change your situation and you want to change it quickly, but you don't know how to do it. But you don't know how to do it and instead you have moments of I give up, don't give up. It's time for you to say yes to you. It's time to show that inner voice, that inner voice that keeps saying come on, you can do this, just do this, this and this, but then turns around and say why you mess that up? Just listen to me. Already Do you have that voice in your head? Because I know I used to, and I used to sometimes be like girl if you don't be quiet, and other times I'd be like you know what you're right and crawl into my little corner. But now you're going to teach that inner voice what it means to live, what it means to have success, what it means to enjoy life, and you're going to show it the greatness that lives within you. So are you ready for this action step? Because, again, if you haven't taken out your pen and paper now, you really need to take it out.

Krystal Jae: 38:00

Okay, and before we go into this action step, go ahead, share this episode with the first person on your mind Now? Are you stuck in a cycle of negativity and self-doubt? Because I'm here to help you find that clarity and purpose, breaking you free from the chains of your past. It's about envisioning a life where your actions are more than tasks, where your actions are more than tasks. They are actually meaningful steps towards your goals, the goals that you set for your life. So take advantage of this pre-sale offer and reserve your coaching session. Y'all Okay. And reserve your coaching session, y'all Okay. And remember, if you're truly ready for an all-in change, join the six-month who I Am program. Okay, and to do that you just go to krystaljae. com forward slash black friday pre-sale. Okay, now. I hope all that gave you time to grab your pen and paper so you can take notes for this action step for today. You ready I'm imagining girl. I'm ready, all right.

Krystal Jae: 39:41

So again, you're done with stress messing all over your life and you know it's time to get to the root, right, and give it the boot. Now what you're going to do is you're going to write the three top stressors in your life on that paper, ok. You're going to write where or who those stressors originate with or where they began OK. How long have you been experiencing them again. Okay, how long have you been experiencing them? What does it look like to not have those stressors in your life? Okay, and then, after you can do all that, yeah, that's not, that's not it, we got more.

Krystal Jae: 40:33

Okay, when you get done with all of that, what I want you to do is I want you to create a table on your paper, or even on the back of that paper, or grab a whole nother paper, but I want you to create a table with three columns One, two, three, three columns. On those columns, I want you to label them old, no more, elevated life. Old, no more elevated life. Old, no more. And elevated life Okay, just playing, all right.

Krystal Jae: 41:16

So what you're going to do is you're going to take those three top stressors that you wrote, that you've been writing about, okay, and I want you to put them in a column. Do they go in? Old, no more, or elevated life? Don't wait for me to give you the answer, because I'm not going to give you the answer. This is your activity. Okay, you the answer, because I'm not going to give you the answer. This is your activity. Okay, now, if it's in the old column, again, put in the old column.

Krystal Jae: 41:47

Okay, now, what I want you to do is whatever's in the old column, I want you to write an elevated life version, okay. So, for example, if one of your top stressors is that you you drink too much, right, then you can put sobriety in your elevated life version, okay. And maybe one of your top stressors is your job that you're at, so put a new job in the elevated life. But I don't want you to put just a new job or a new career. What is that new job? What is that new career? If you could pick something, what would it be? That's what I want you to write.

Krystal Jae: 42:54

Okay, now, I want you to do those for each of your stressors, not just your top three, though I want you to start with your top three, but I want you to go through that with all the things that are stressing you. Right, they go in the old, no more or elevated life. Anything that's in the old or no more column needs to have an elevated life version, okay. Okay, then, once that is complete, I want you to write an action step for each elevated life thing that you have in that column. So, for example, if it's sobriety, an action step could be that you're going to a meeting, that you're going to rehab, that you know that you're going to tell a family member, someone in your support system, that you've decided to choose sobriety system, that you've decided to choose sobriety Okay, if it's that you're going for you know a new career, and then you're putting you know if you're at your action step.

Krystal Jae: 44:32

If you need to go back to school, maybe research schools or update your resume, maybe one of the stressors in your life is your partner and in the elevated version, you'll have a more healthier relationship. So what is the action step for that? Is it going to therapy together? Is it maybe doing individual therapy and then going to therapy together? Is it that y'all need to sit down and actually communicate, because it may not be that you have bad communication. Maybe you can communicate with each other but neither one of you do.

Krystal Jae: 45:24

Okay, what is your action step for whatever's in that elevated life? I want you to write down at least one, but for your main ones, I want you to write down the action steps that you need to take to reach that elevated life, because then you just built your path to your elevated life Stressor by stressor by stressor, right? Because I told y'all, we are going for that elevated life now. Okay, the purpose-filled life, the better life, the life that you envision for yourself. And if you would like guidance by your side while you're doing this, then just book a session and let's work through it. Okay, because we are booting the root of messes that are stressing you out.

Krystal Jae: 46:35

Okay, boop, and as always I, crystal J, the empowerment goddess, your who am I? Expert and somatic trauma informed coach, is here for you. It's your time to stop what people pleasing, overcome suffering and silence and discover who you are while embracing your best life. Now share this episode with this first person on your mind. Leave a review. So I know this is helping you. And if you're not already on the email list, join the list to receive exclusive offers and stay in the know. And that is krystaljae. com/ black friday presale. Because what's on that list? You're gonna get that exclusive offer. Okay, y'all, because only the people in the group and only the people in the email are getting the pre-sale. Okay, so that's k-r-y-s-t-a-l-j-a-e. com. Forward slash black friday pre-sale. See you later this week.