33. Self-Doubt Growing When You Are Alone? Take Action Using These Steps For Your Purpose Filled Life.

Have you ever felt paralyzed by self-doubt, wondering if you are ever truly enough? 

In this conversation, Krystal Jae discusses the pervasive issue of self-doubt and its impact on personal growth and mental health. She shares her own experiences with self-doubt, loneliness, and the journey towards self-discovery and empowerment. Through trauma-informed coaching, she emphasizes the importance of taking actionable steps to overcome self-doubt, build confidence, and establish a supportive environment for personal development. The conversation highlights the significance of understanding the cycle of self-doubt and the necessity of taking small, deliberate actions to foster self-worth and clarity in one's life.

Join me, Krystal Jae, The Empowerment Goddess, as we journey through the landscapes of fear, judgment, and self-criticism that often hold us back. I share my personal experiences and proven strategies that have empowered many, including myself, to break the chains of self-doubt and embrace a life brimming with clarity and purpose. This episode is your invitation to step out of the shadows and into your light, finding not just momentary relief but sustainable strength.

Explore the roots of self-doubt with me as we unravel how it infiltrates our mental and physical well-being. We'll dissect the thoughts that fuel this cycle—fear of failure, fear of judgment, and feelings of inadequacy—and learn how the brain’s fight, flight, or freeze response can sometimes be a barrier to our progress. By acknowledging and validating our emotions, we begin to rewire our minds, replacing hesitation with action. You’ll discover actionable steps to break free from these negative patterns and cultivate a mindset of empowerment and growth.

This episode is a call to vulnerability and self-trust, encouraging you to release excuses and build relationships filled with joy and purpose. Through my "Who Am I" program, we’ll embark on a transformative journey designed to help you discover your true self and life's purpose.

Chapters

• 0:00 Break Free From Self-Doubt
• 6:07 Overcoming Self-Doubt and Taking Action
• 20:28 Journey to Defeat Self-Doubt
• 28:57 Discovering Your True Self

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I doubted myself for years, and you know what I got from it More self-doubt, inner loneliness and the inability to succeed. It was easier to say, well, people don't believe in me, so I shouldn't do it, I shouldn't move forward. It was easier to say if I was worthy enough, I wouldn't have gone through abuse, if I was actually loved and supported, it would make it easy. And now it's hard, because I would also be making time for myself and the things that I wanted to do and accomplish and the person I wanted to become have all my time, or at least a lot of my time, which then would make them leave me. So instead I suffered in silence, not taking action, because that was the easier thing to do not take action and it would ensure that I would not be left alone in my already lonely world.

Speaker 1: 1:25

Now are you caught in a cycle of self-doubt, constantly questioning your worth and feeling guilty for wanting more for yourself. Imagine breaking free from these burdens and stepping into a life where your value is undeniable and your purpose is clear. This is your chance to transform your life with the guidance of an expert, trauma-informed coach. You want to know why you should act now, because there's personal coaching sessions, you can discover your potential in a supportive space where you can prioritize yourself without guilt. Now I, crystal J, will help you uncover and overcome self-doubt and people-pleasing behaviors, while establishing what you want in your future, helping you get the skills and the tools that you need for your tool chest. Then there's the comprehensive six-month who Am I program that goes on a deeper dive into a journey of healing, with trauma-informed care and somatic techniques and many others. But you get to learn to love yourself, set boundaries and find your purpose, moving from stress and self-doubt to strength and joy. The time is now. Why wait to give yourself the gift of grace and healing? This is your moment to say goodbye to overwhelm and hello to clarity and self-love. Embrace the extraordinary life that you deserve because you do deserve it when each day is a step towards your best self. You wake up being proud of who you are. So don't delay. Sign up today and begin your journey to empowerment. Empowerment to healing, to discovering who you are, to making the changes in your life, to breaking toxic circles, to breaking that generational trauma all of that so that way you can get to the success and the fulfillment that you've been waiting for. There's also exclusive bonuses in that six months program. Your transformation it starts here, so are you ready to take your first step? Hey, hey, welcome.

Speaker 1: 4:20

To Overcome Suffering in Silence, it's time for you to stop people pleasing and create your better life. I am Crystal J, the Empowerment Goddess and your Somatic, trauma-informed Life Coach. This season has already started in a way I couldn't even imagine. Now, are you ready for some realness, raw healing and a glimpse into what it feels like to walk in peace, clarity and purpose, while truly knowing who you are? If your answer is yes, then you've come to the right place.

Speaker 1: 4:53

For the past two decades, I've been blessed to share my journey with countless women and a few men, empowering them to overcome the lingering shadows of physical, emotional. Empowering them to overcome the lingering shadows of physical, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse. Together, we confront the limitations that hold us back, like self-doubt, guilt, fear, shame and that pervasive sense of unworthiness. Dig deep to uncover the root of these feelings. Break free from the inner pain of suffering and silence, find faith, grow in that faith and embrace the life that is meant for you. Enjoy the real stories and practical advice, life-enhancing skills and spiritual wisdom to guide you from pain to purpose, self-doubt to confidence and confusion to clarity. So let's leave the struggle bus behind and embark on this journey to discover the freedom, beauty and strength that lies within you. Remember you are not alone and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through, because God loves you, and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.

Speaker 1: 6:07

Welcome to Overcome Suffering in Silence with Crystal J. You are wondering if you are enough. You are constantly saying over and over and over in your head can I do this? Will this really go well? Is this for me? What if I fail? What will other people think about me? So continue to live, and self-doubt will not bring you the peace, the clarity or the love that you seek.

Speaker 1: 6:48

Because in the back of your head sometimes it may be unconsciously you are dreading the people around you. You are blaming them and everyone else for you not having the success or the life that you want. You are looking at other people's lives in resentment. You're wishing it could be yours. You're like dang, like they made that easy. See, if only I had that support. If only I had that kind of love. But do you really know what's going on? Can they be wearing a mask like you are right now. You see, self-doubt will drain you. It will become sadness, leading to depression. You will hide your inner pain. Have you hidden your inner pain? Are you hiding it now? It leaves room. Self-doubt leaves room for the outbursts. Have you had an angry outburst? Or maybe one that was a frustration outburst? Or you may be someone who shuts down, or maybe a mixture.

Speaker 1: 8:07

You will walk around acting like everything is fine, and a lot of times you sincerely believe it is Only until you are sitting alone and all the negatives begin running in your head over and over and over again. You can't go back to school, you can't use that degree that you earned, you can't have a better job. You can't have that conversation with your spouse, you can't go for that raise. You can't start that business. You can't begin that non-profit. You don't have resources. You are a failure. You have never been good enough and you never will sit down and appreciate the life that you have.

Speaker 1: 9:06

Keep circling that toxic relationship with self-doubt, because those are the things that it runs in your mind and it tells you to stay miserable. You know self-doubt will keep you up at night. You know self-doubt will keep you up at night. It will cause further stress on your body, in your mind, in your soul. You will gain weight due to overeating. You will lose weight because you're not eating enough. You will start losing your hair because you're stressing. You will have this toxic cycle of tearing yourself down and sometimes tearing other people down, and when you are not getting fed positivity or feeding yourself positivity, it is a path to a mental breakdown that you may be covering by people pleasing, drinking, smoking, doing a lot of activities to keep your mind and yourself busy, but these are really steps that are not going to help you propel your life forward, so you remain stuck, suffering with doubt and suffering in silence. The great thing is that you don't have to suffer with self-doubt, being the leader in your life.

Speaker 1: 10:52

Overcome self-doubt. You are going to gain confidence in yourself because you're tired of living with the negative habit of self-doubt, self-doubt. And you can minimize self-doubt by understanding why your brain is hesitating on taking action, because you know the number one goal for our brain is to keep us alive. You know that right. You know that the good old sympathetic nervous system with the fight, flight, freeze response right, is to protect us, but sometimes those alarms and bells goes off when we're actually safe. Right, because sometimes, due to the experiences that we have been through, so we have to take time to retrain or rewire our brain, our mind. Okay, let them know that it doesn't need to hesitate, that it's safe to take action. You are no longer going to focus on the wait.

Speaker 1: 12:24

What can go wrong? To the point that you never do anything positive, that you never take any action? Okay, when your brain hesitates, you start overthinking. It stops you from taking action when you need to. Then, because you didn't take action, you doubt your ability to even take action, which causes you not to be successful with whatever you wanted to do. So then you develop self-doubt, which leads to more overthinking the next time something comes up.

Speaker 1: 13:18

The next time something comes up, it's a negative spin cycle feeling like a failure and wondering about what everyone else is going to be thinking. Are they judging you? And, to be honest, in reality, some people aren't. They're not even thinking about it. Right, about it? Right, they may not be supporting you, but they are not even thinking about oh, is she going to be a failure? Or why is she doing that? Sometimes they're just living their own lives, you see, and self-doubt, it keeps you going. It keeps this toxic cycle going until you take positive action. It's like putting your clothes in the dryer and you're expecting them to be clean when you take them out the dryer, but you never did put them in the washer. Well, it's time for you to wash that self-doubt away Now.

Speaker 1: 14:13

Understand that your emotions, that you're going through when you have self-doubt, it's normal and they are valid. Okay, because there's a reason why you're thinking that way. So that's why we go through and we do activities and we do things to retrain and rewire your mind, your brain and all of that. Okay, so we're going to take action, okay. So I want you to think about it. When you have self-doubt, what is causing it of doubt? What is causing it? Is it hesitation because you are uncertain of the outcome? Maybe you're busy waiting and overthinking and not taking action because everything has to be perfect. You can't make one misstep Now. Let's not do that, okay.

Speaker 1: 15:13

Instead, I want you to take little steps. Think of where you want to be or what you want to complete. Okay, now I hope that you have your pen and pencils out, so you're taking notes, because I really want you to take action. That's what this whole thing is about for you to take action, okay, Now, so repeat that for you. What we're going to start with. Okay, we're going to start with little steps. Okay, think of where you want to be. Where do you envision your life? You can start with what do you want your life to look like in the next six months? Got it? Or you can do the next year, or you can do the next year, or maybe your goal is one that may take three years or six years. Okay, whatever it is. What do you want to do? What do you want to complete? Who do you want to be in six months? What habits you want to break in six months? What do you want to gain into your life in six months? What is it? Okay, now, I want you to create the steps to get there. If you know them, if you don't know them, this is the perfect opportunity to go to your email, check it and click on your. Use your 40% off code for services that's going on for the pre-sale, so that way, you can get your 40% off coupon code. Okay Now, the pre-sale, I'm be honest, is better than the sale. Okay, now, once you have your steps, I want you to take the first step After the first step is complete notice, I said when it's complete.

Speaker 1: 17:36

So don't start step two or step five when you ain't completed step one. When step one is complete, then you start step two. Once that is complete, you take the next step and then the next step and the next step. But you don't start one step until you complete the step before it. Cool, right. Then boom, you're going to be done and you're like oh gosh, like I made it, I did it, and you're going to celebrate that. Ok, when you celebrate that, then you're like OK, what's your next goal or what's the next thing you're going to tackle? And then you're going to do the same thing over again.

Speaker 1: 18:29

Ok, now, while you're completing these steps, is it going to be perfect? Most likely not, but you can persevere. You're going to keep going, and when an obstacle gets in your way, I want you to stop. Analyze it. And what step do you need to take to conquer that temporary obstacle? Okay, it's a temporary obstacle, but better yet, I want you to be honest with yourself. Is it a real obstacle? I want you to be honest with yourself Is it a real obstacle or is it self-doubt, jumping in the way, because you know self-doubt it pops up. And when it pops up, it may show up like hesitation, like we were talking about above. It can be obstacles appearing from nowhere, right, we just talked about that.

Speaker 1: 19:41

It could be your attention moving to something that is completely unrelated, aka procrastinating, right, because sometimes I procrastinate too. I know I need to record a podcast episode, but then I'm like, ooh, I didn't watch Chicago Fire last week and I'm leaving this week, so I need to watch that real quick. So let me watch that and then I'll go record the podcast. No, I'm supposed to be doing the podcast, but I'm over here, hesitating, procrastinating and everything else. No, you want to take the actions, the steps that will help you move forward.

Speaker 1: 20:28

Okay, now could it be that maybe you're hiding in fear, or you're scared of being hurt, or you're scared of being a failure, so you're not taking action. Right, those are some things that can pop up. It could be that you're not asking for help or for the things that you want, which allows fear of judgment, fear of acknowledgement take over, which fuels your self-doubt, doubt. Your self-doubt could be with you being critical with yourself. You're fighting against your own wants, you're complaining to yourself about the things that you want or the steps that you have to take to get there. You're finding flaws in yourself. You're finding flaws in yourself. You're finding flaws in your plan. You're finding flaws in whatever you want to go and reach. You're like you know what, I might as well not even do that, because then, once I do that, there's going to be something else and I don't want to do it. No, let's worry about that first goal, so then that way we can take the next step.

Speaker 1: 21:53

Okay, it's also about focusing on what's going wrong or what can go wrong. You can be putting yourself down so much that and allowing and feeding the doubt to the point to where you believe that you're helpless and that you really can't do anything. It can also be because you're not willing to be vulnerable with yourself or with others, and I understand that sometimes, when you've been let down so much, you let that fear of being let down stop you from being available or being vulnerable to other people. Right, also, because you're scared of the fear of being abandoned or spending your life alone or being lonely, you allow others to control you because you're like, if they control me, they're going to stick around, but you keep having excuses on top of excuses on top of excuses. At the end of the day, it sometimes anger you, it makes you sad, it makes you depressed, it makes you feel unworthy, it makes you feel like you're not loved and all of that plays into insecurity and it plays into self-doubt, into insecurity and it plays into self-doubt. And that is why, in this journey of defeating self-doubt, you're going to be building self-confidence, you're going to be building self-worth, you're going to be building a healthy support system, healthy communication and building self-trust and building self-trust.

Speaker 1: 23:59

Now, these are part of your empowered transformation healing journey. Right, it's an endless journey of healing because life is going to continue to be life in, but the point is is that you're making steps forward to elevate yourself and put tools in your tool bag to where you have something to pull from which helps you to determine and for you to go for the life that you envision. So it's time for you to be vulnerable with yourself and identify the excuses that are holding you back. It's about knowing how to defeat them, like when trusting in yourself to make decisions that will promote your healing journey. Because when you are trusting in yourself to make safe decisions from the inner pain, from the confusion, from not knowing who you are right. You are gaining steps.

Speaker 1: 25:27

When you defeat self-doubt, you're giving yourself confidence. That way, you can pull that vision that you have hiding in the back of your head. You can pull it to the front and be like this is what I'm going for. You're going to begin to say yes to yourself. Okay, now you're going to take each of these steps to move forward on your healing journey with confidence, with self-worth, with understanding, with love, with success and with purpose, because that's what's going to help you get to the life that you want the better, purpose-filled life, where you see and you have healthy and successful relationships, you have a partner that you are aligned with, that you trust and they trust you, that y'all can lean on each other, that y'all can have those good conversations and laugh and have joy. The friendships, the friendships that are good and healthy, where you're each other's support system. You're going to have joy. You're going to look forward to waking up the next day. You're going to look forward to leaving your house, to going to work, to going to church, to going on vacation, to whatever includes in your purpose-filled life, because why? It's your purpose-filled life For you to have joy, for you to have faith, while being grateful for the steps that you took to elevate your life, took to elevate your life.

Speaker 1: 27:58

Now I want you to take this next step and share this episode with the first female and the first male that is on your mind. Leave a review so I know that I am providing you with tools for your tool chest. Then I want you to make this ultimate decision, this ultimate step to defeat self-doubt and go to wwwcrystaljcom. Forward, slash Black Friday pre-sale, join that email list, get your 40% off coupon code so then, that way, you can choose between the one-on-one coaching service or the six month who Am I program. Okay, because that code is only for those who are in the email list and those who are in the group.

Speaker 1: 28:57

Okay, and I want you to enjoy those exclusive services that comes with the six month who am I program, taking you from self-doubt, inner pain, confusion, wondering who you are, to confidence, joy and knowing who you are without a doubt, with you, knowing what your purpose is and having fulfillment for your best life. I am Crystal J, the Empowerment Guidance, the who Am I expert and your Somatic Trauma Informed Coach. Tune in later this week for the next episode and remember you are not alone and you are enough when times get tough. Pray, listen and follow through. God loves you and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.