The Power of Oxygen 1st
When my son was little, I was a single mom who was doing it all alone. I was putting everyone else first and my own needs last. To everyone around me, I was successful but little did they know that my success was tied to pushing, stressing, sleepless nights and early morning workouts pushing my body and my limits to the extreme. Until one day I was flying alone and nearly crashed an airplane and I realized that I needed to take care of my own needs first before anyone else. You see, when you’re a pilot, if you have any issues in the plane, you put on your oxygen mask 1st, not your passengers. They need you to land the plane.
This podcast is all about this journey to healing, to getting clear on the desires of your heart… and stepping into them with courage while leaning into, asking for and receiving support. I hope you feel inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live: a life filled to the brim with epic ADVENTURE.
The Power of Oxygen 1st
EP 56: Hard Reset – Taking Inventory After Divorce
What if you could transform life's most challenging transitions into opportunities for personal growth and joy? Join me as I navigate the profound shifts that accompany major life changes, such as divorce, and how reclaiming your energy can lead to an exciting new chapter. Through personal stories, I share the art of "dating yourself"—a powerful approach to rediscovering who you are amidst life's upheavals. Learn the importance of intentional pauses and self-care, allowing space to heal and realign with clarity. By saying no more often and embracing deep feelings, we open ourselves to new possibilities and embrace change as a catalyst for growth.
Taking stock of life and business, especially during tumultuous times, is imperative. We'll explore strategic ways to evaluate personal well-being, align environments with core values, and redefine personal identity beyond traditional roles. This episode also introduces the Oxygen First Hiring ROI Calculator, a tool to optimize your professional life through strategic hiring and delegation. Embrace support, make data-driven decisions, and unlock a fulfilling life by aligning your business with your new life vision. Connect with me on Instagram or through my website to share your journey and insights as we navigate these transitions together.
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Hey guys, this is the Power of Oxygen First podcast and I'm your host, dot Rock. I am an entrepreneur, a mom, a stepmom and a scaling consultant who is obsessed with the art of hiring, support and that dirty word we call delegation. I'm a recovering perfectionist who pushed my body and my limits to the extreme until one fateful day I learned that, just like pilots, I needed to take care of myself first. This podcast is all about the journey to healing, to getting clear on the desires of your heart, stepping into them with courage and leaning into and asking for support. I hope you feel inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live. Well, hello my podcast listeners. I hope everyone is doing well out there.
Speaker 1:Here in Durango, we just had our first big snowstorm and it was incredible. We got like 14 plus inches in town I can't even tell because it was such heavy, beautiful, thick snow. It happened on Valentine's Day and Dominic got to stay home from school with a snow day and we went to Paddington Bear, which is just absolutely one of our favorites. It was released. Paddington in Peru was released on Valentine's Day. Dominic had gotten me a box of chocolates and flowers. I took him to the grocery store and sent him in and told him to get me a Valentine's gift, and he did. And so we exchanged gifts in the morning and it was just magic sauce. Exchanged gifts in the morning and it was just magic sauce.
Speaker 1:But this week, on the power of oxygen, first, we're going to talk a little bit more about self-care, the art of self-care, the courage of starting fresh and really the strength of putting on your oxygen mask first. Today we're talking again about something deeply personal and transformative in my life and it is the hard reset and truly taking inventory in my life and now in my business, as my divorce comes to a close, and it's hard to share exactly what's going on because things are still coming to an end, but the reality is they're coming to an end finally, and that feels like freedom, it feels like liberation, but it also carries deep sadness and significant change and just a lot of reflection. Now this has been going on for a year, so I've been facing it, but it's interesting because facing it now feels a lot different, because it's truly ending and I truly have an end date in sight. As you know, divorce isn't just the end of a relationship. It's a massive recalibration of who we are and what we need and where we're headed. It's like waking up to a house where someone's rearranged all of the furniture overnight. Things feel unfamiliar, some things are missing, some things need to go away and some things I didn't even realize are weighing me down.
Speaker 1:I feel like I've been in this effort of finding all of the puzzle pieces that make me me and trying like hell to put them back together. But the thing is, like I've said before, I am a new puzzle and I need to explore who I am now. The pain, the trauma, the freedom have all changed me, and that's real. And the truth is I want to reclaim and find my wholeness within myself, not attached to others, and I want to fully love and honor myself in this really exciting new chapter of my life. Nope, I didn't want this chapter to happen, but I'm more than fully embracing that it's here. I still believe that things happen for us, not to us, and this odd little gift happened for me. So today I want to talk to you about how I'm taking a real, intentional pause. I've talked to you about how I'm dating myself very intentionally to learn who I am, because my puzzle pieces have changed. But I want to talk about taking this deep breath and walking you through the process that I'm facing of resetting, reflecting, realigning, both in my life and in my business. And it isn't just about rushing to fix things and forcing myself to move on too quickly, which I think I really have done too much of that in the past year. I moved too fast to get over some of the pain. I overrode some of it because it was more efficient. But this pause, this hard reset and taking inventory of everything is really about creating space for clarity and true alignment.
Speaker 1:My first step is what is a hard set and why does it matter? Well, in Paddington Bear, if you recall, in one of the first movies there's three of them, by the way he does a hard stare and when Dom was little I was dating somebody I think he was like four and Dominic knew the man had very much so upset me. And Dominic said mom, what you need to do is just give him a hard stare and say nothing. And so we've been saying that a lot lately in our house do the hard stare. And we've also been saying I think it's time for a hard reset. And what would that look like for us? Because the reality is we live in a world that tells us to keep going, to bounce back, to fill the silence with productivity and gosh, am I hardwired to be productive? But here's the truth.
Speaker 1:After a major life shift, after the grief and trauma of divorce, continuing without reassessing is like driving with a cracked windshield you can still see the road, but the cracks distort the view. And a hard reset is about stopping long enough to clearly see again. And I have no idea how long this hard reset could take. It could take a week, it could take two years. I'm just leaning into letting myself have the hard reset. So what it looks like for me is saying no more often to create space for lots of yeses later. It's about letting myself feel before I force myself to act. It's about releasing the old version of who I was that was built for a partnership that no longer exists. It's about pulling back all of the energy that I put into this union, fully dissolving that and letting myself pour it back into me and thrive on my very own. Thank you, and if you're in this space right now, I want to give you permission to pause. This is not a step backward, this is a power move.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I didn't realize how burdened I was by all of this divorce process. Of course, yes, I've told you about the grief, I've told you about the sadness, but I didn't realize that weight. It was holding on me every single day. That weight it was holding on me every single day, the anxiety that was there that caused me to not get things done, like the dishes or whatever it was, because I was going through a lot of thought and energy into a lengthy divorce process. But now it's coming off my back, I feel it, and the taste of knowing freedom is right around the corner is actually amazing, and I think it's truly increased my self-confidence and my ability to lean into this hard reset.
Speaker 1:So the next thing that I have on my list of to-dos, after thinking about what the hard reset looks like, is taking inventory in my life. So let's get practical. What does it even mean to take inventory in every area of your life? It means looking at your finances. It means looking at your finances. It means looking at your business. It means looking at your parenting, your relationships with friends, your location geographically, your clients, what's working, what's not what needs to change. Really think of this as decluttering mentally, emotionally and physically.
Speaker 1:So in your life inventory check-in, think about your energy and your well-being, number one when am I drained? Where do I feel most alive? Let's think about your relationships. Who feels like an anchor and who feels like a lifeline? What about space and environment? Does my home feel like home to me or does it need to change? Does the town that I live in feel like home or should I look into other options? Number four time and priorities, and I'm spending my time on what matters most, or just the things that are expected and weighing.
Speaker 1:And personal identity. Who am I when I'm not someone's spouse? This one's hard for me. I really like being a wife, a girlfriend, a lover. I have so much love to give, but right now I need to receive that from myself to myself and I need to just pour that into my son. I am not just a wife, and really exploring this personal identity has been fun for me. I've been sewing again, I've been doing embroidery at night and I'm looking into taking some painting classes. I've never done any painting classes. I never had an art class where we painted, but I'm going to order one of those paint by number things and start doing some of that. Going to order one of those paint by number things and start doing some of that. I'm coloring. I'm doing more creative things in my downtime and spending less time online while I explore. Who am I? One of the most powerful exercises I have done after and through this divorce has been just looking at my daily life and asking would I choose this again? And if the answer is no, I've asked myself why I'm holding on to it.
Speaker 1:Okay, part three, let's talk about taking inventory in your business. Now, if you need to pause to go scream into a pillow because this is too much, you should do that. But think about this as just a little roadmap of what it would look like if you did take inventory in your life and your business when big changes are happening. Now, everyone I'm talking about divorce, but we all have big changes. We've all experienced a lot of trauma in the past two years, even just politically speaking. So taking inventory, especially this time of year when it's about to be spring kind of already has been spring at times in Durango, but it is a great time to not stay in autopilot.
Speaker 1:For me, divorce doesn't just change my personal life, but it shakes the foundation of everything, and especially in my business and as an entrepreneur. I've kind of felt like I've been running on autopilot trying to get through this, and now it's time to do more than just keep things together. It's time to be intentional and think about how my business serves me in this new season of life. My business was set up in order to be more of a wife and mom and have home-cooked meals on the table, and now I am really craving more career. Will that look like me going back to the business world and working for someone as an employee? Does that mean I shift my business in ways that serve me more in who I am now? What does it mean?
Speaker 1:I don't know, but in my business inventory check-in I'm looking at workload and boundaries. Am I carrying too much and what needs delegation in this new version of my business so that I can spend more time on growing my business? What can I get off my plate? You all know that delegation is like my favorite topic, but when we're thinking of this, really think about if I am carrying too much. What would it look like to receive and what would I love to receive the very most. It's okay if it doesn't seem like it's something that's possible for you. Just allow yourself to explore these thoughts. Number two in clients and partnerships, do my clients energize me or do they drain me, and in what ways could I shift some of the boundaries to make this feel better?
Speaker 1:Number three in my offerings and services, do I still love what I offer, or am I holding on to old things because it's out of habit or because I created a webpage that sells that product? It's okay to let some of the things go, even if nothing ever came of them. I've certainly had many business offerings that had nothing come of them and it's okay to let that go. It helped me be the version of myself that I am today. Okay, and number four money and pricing. Am I valuing myself appropriately? Am I really financially aligned with my new life? Am I pricing the services that I offer based on my worth or based on what I think clients will pay? That's kind of a fun and scary endeavor to think about, but it's worth it. At number five future business, future vision of your business. Does my business support the life I'm building now or and not, just the life I used to have? Like I said for me, my business was set up very specifically for our family so that we could travel, and I crafted and molded it around that family. And, yes, I still have a son and, yes, I still am very much a family person. But it's just the dynamic double-D duo now it's just Dominic and I and we get to create what serves us.
Speaker 1:Now in this time, it's sort of like if you're making homemade cookies and you have a whole bunch of cookie cutters to use and you've only ever used the gingerbread, like the gingerbread cutter. What if you use the snowman? What if you use the snowflake? What if you use the gingerbread, like the gingerbread cutter? What if you use the snowman? What if you use the snowflake? What if you use the Santa? What would that look like? What kind of fun would that be? So it's okay to pause and rebuild and spend some time thinking about this. This isn't just a. I thought about it today. Go on your walks and think about it.
Speaker 1:For me, my business after divorce is really meaning. I'm relearning how to make decisions that are 100% mine. No compromises, no, let's see what works for both of us. It's just me owning my choices and it's both terrifying and liberating and it's freedom, and it's the next level of who I am, and it's freedom and it's the next level of who I am. So what is next for me with all of this is building my next level me up jar. Okay, remember, in the dating episode, when I was talking about dating myself, I talked about putting a bunch of ideas in a jar for dates so that when I haven't had a date with myself in a while, I can pull something from the jar. Okay, well, this is the level up jar.
Speaker 1:So one of my favorite ways to shift out of survival mode and into vision mode in business and to help my clients with this is to think about creating a next level me jar and think about this like a date jar, like I said, but instead of date ideas you're filling it with experiences, goals and little luxuries that represent your future self. So write it down. Number one what about like small joys you could put in? An idea of my business is so successful. I buy myself fresh flowers once a week and they're delivered to my office. Future goals like each quarter. I take a solo weekend trip to just be alone in a hotel of my choice and order room service. My business is so successful, I will personally sign up for a new tango class. My business is shifting and because of this I'll be raising my rates by 10%. So when you feel lost, you just pull a note from the jar and take one small step forward to whatever it is that you wrote down. You don't have to rebuild everything today, but just one choice that feels good. So that's just a fun idea that I had.
Speaker 1:The date jar was quite popular with many listeners. And so what about? You? Did this with your business or your career? If you're working for somebody else and as we wrap up, I want to remind you this reset it's all yours. No one else gets to dictate how long it takes, what it looks like or when you should be over it.
Speaker 1:We all have that friend that will listen to these stories about our heartbreak over and over and over and over again. Some of them will tell us to stop. Some of them will tell us to get over it, but some of them won't. Please honor your timing, honor your energy and trust that this pause, this reflection, this inventory it's setting the foundation for something powerful for the next beautiful chapter in your life. So if this episode resonated with you. I'd love to hear from you. Send me a message on Instagram, dot underscore, rock underscore, or share your thoughts in our community and if you know someone who needs this, send this episode their way, because we all deserve a reset when we need it. Take a deep breath, trust the process and remember oxygen first, always.
Speaker 1:Hi, my podcast friends. Hey, have you heard about this new hiring return on investment freebie on my webpage, dotrockconsultingcom? If you download it, you'll get some valuable insights that are simple and fast, that can help you shift into understanding why hiring, or just plain asking for support, can help you save precious resources and increase your time, your energy and your freedom, and they can help you delegate in your business and personally. And it's backed up by data. So head on over to dotrockconsultingcom to access the very first Oxygen First Hiring Return on Investment Calculator. You'll be able to finally hire with confidence, make some data-driven decisions, but also really shift into the mindset of receiving this support and how it's going to add to the bottom line of fulfillment and joy in your life.
Speaker 1:I hope you enjoy it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to another episode of the Power of Oxygen First podcast. I hope you walk away feeling inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live, and I hope that you start leaning into the art of receiving support. I'm here to support you on that journey. Find me at dotrockconsultingcom or dot underscore rock underscore on Instagram. I'd love it if you'd go, follow me and shoot me a quick DM and let me know what takeaway from this episode hit you the hardest, sending you love and adventures on this beautiful day.
