The Power of Oxygen 1st
When my son was little, I was a single mom who was doing it all alone. I was putting everyone else first and my own needs last. To everyone around me, I was successful but little did they know that my success was tied to pushing, stressing, sleepless nights and early morning workouts pushing my body and my limits to the extreme. Until one day I was flying alone and nearly crashed an airplane and I realized that I needed to take care of my own needs first before anyone else. You see, when you’re a pilot, if you have any issues in the plane, you put on your oxygen mask 1st, not your passengers. They need you to land the plane.
This podcast is all about this journey to healing, to getting clear on the desires of your heart… and stepping into them with courage while leaning into, asking for and receiving support. I hope you feel inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live: a life filled to the brim with epic ADVENTURE.
The Power of Oxygen 1st
EP 59: The Hard Reset Part 2 - Rebuilding Life on Your Own Terms
Life can sometimes push us into unexpected resets, like a divorce or a major transition. In this deeply personal episode, we dive into the hard reset process, unpacking what it means to navigate the uncomfortable yet transformative space of rebuilding one's life. Join Dot as she shares her own journey of self-discovery—embracing the in-between phases that shape who we are and who we're becoming.
Throughout the conversation, Dot emphasizes the art of self-care, healing, and the importance of giving ourselves permission to take things slow. We delve into the idea that true growth often happens in moments of quiet reflection, where we can honestly assess our desires and dreams. With practical journal prompts that listeners can apply to their own lives, this episode serves as a catalyst for thoughtful introspection and positive change.
Dot also explores the significant role that habits play in our everyday lives, as they can either inhibit or foster growth. By sharing insights about creating a “next level me” jar filled with empowering actions and goals, listeners are encouraged to take manageable steps towards their aspirations, reinforcing the idea that transformation is an ongoing journey.
Finally, the podcast reassures us that becoming is not a race, but rather a tender process of learning to trust ourselves and our instincts. By sharing her story and experiences, Dot creates a warm and relatable atmosphere where listeners can find solace and motivation to embrace their unique healing journeys.
Don't miss out on this episode filled with inspiration and encouragement to trust the process as you build the life you desire. Join us, and let's rise together in the Oxygen First community!
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Hey guys, this is the Power of Oxygen First podcast and I'm your host, dot Rock. I am an entrepreneur, a mom, a stepmom and a scaling consultant who is obsessed with the art of hiring, support and that dirty word we call delegation. I'm a recovering perfectionist who pushed my body and my limits to the extreme until one fateful day I learned that, just like pilots, I needed to take care of myself first. This podcast is all about the journey to healing, to getting clear on the desires of your heart, stepping into them with courage and leaning into and asking for support. I hope you feel inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live. Well, hello my podcast friends. How's everyone doing out there? Welcome back to the Power of Oxygen First, where we explore the art of self-care, the bravery of becoming and the radical act of putting yourself first.
Speaker 1:As you know, I'm Dot Rock and today's episode is going to be a little follow-up about one of my most popular episodes very recently the Hard Reset After Divorce. So I'm not sure what it was about that one that has resonated with people all over the world, which is so crazy to me and feels a little foreign, like maybe it was just a blip, but I've gotten a lot of DMs about that one and just a lot of of buzz. So I want to be vulnerable and share where I'm at. As you know, you've been on this journey with me and for me, like I said, the hard reset isn't just about wiping the slate clean. It's about honoring this space between who you were and who you're becoming, and for me it is just that who I was and now who I am, and kind of getting to know her. So today I'm diving back into what happens after the hard reset, which I think I'm still kind of in the middle of the hard reset, but we'll talk about a little bit of. The dust is starting to settle and I'm really beginning to see how I can truly begin the deeper work of rebuilding on my own terms Now I would say through 2024,.
Speaker 1:I was so relieved, like the overwhelming emotion was relief, and now I'm excited and a little bit anxious, yet ready to let these little seeds bud that that I think I've planted over the last year through the healing. So you know the hard reset episode I was giving myself permission to stop to breathe, to take inventory. But the real transformation comes in what's next after that slow breath? But the real transformation comes in what's next after that slow breath, that slow, intentional process of choosing what gets to stay and what gets to go. And I'm still very much in the middle of that. So I don't want to pretend like I'm not, but I just want to keep talking about it because it's a process. It's not like healing is this destination. It's not like I'm running a marathon and I'm going to cross the finish line when all of the papers are finally finalized. It's just not how it is. It doesn't feel like that, though I do feel a deeper sense of freedom than I have through this whole process and I am feeling really excited to just be fully single and fully alone for a while. And no, I'm not interested in dating right now, I'm just not. I really want Dominic and I to reset and rebuild and cherish our time together right now, especially when he's still going through his heart.
Speaker 1:So this part of the slow, intentional process of choosing what gets to stay and what gets to go, it isn't loud and it isn't visible. I am taking a break from a lot of things right now. I am not going to some of the places that I go to often. I am not sharing much on stories right now. I am doing my work, I'm building what I want to build and being this quiet tender spot. It's quiet, tender work, the kind that happens in stolen moments, when no one is watching me, happens in stolen moments when no one is watching me. And when I first talked about the hard reset, I was still really deep in the untangling, but it was feeling like there were just a few tangles left. And now I find myself in this phase of like I'm supposed to be emerging, but I'm not trying to build or rebuild the life that I had. I'm building something entirely new, brick by brick, choice by choice, what I put back into our lives and what I take out. So it's a process that I don't know how long it will take.
Speaker 1:So this episode is for anyone who's also in that in-between space, in-between anything what you want in your career, what you want in your love life, what you want as a parent, what you want in life, and where clarity is beginning to trickle in. It feels good, but the path still feels pretty uncertain. I used to really think that wholeness was something that I'd find, once I got through the hard part, like it was waiting on the other side of healing, on the other side of this divorce ending. But what I'm learning is that wholeness is already here, it's already within me, it's buried beneath all the noise, and the work is simply quieting it and uncovering it. But it's not that simple. It's slow, methodical, intentional, somewhat painful work, and if the hard reset was about clearing space, it's not that simple. The next phase is about reclaiming my essence, not the version of what others needed me to be, but the truest, most unapologetic version of who I am.
Speaker 1:So I've been doing a few journal prompts to kind of dive into this self-inquiry, and so that is. Let me give you a couple of them. What parts of myself feel like they're waking back up? I think I've told you like one of the things I've been doing over the last few months is embroidering, sewing. It's something I did when I was a little kid. My second, third, fourth grade. Teachers taught us how to do that and I still love doing that. So I've been embroidering at night for like 10 minutes, 10, 15 minutes. Sometimes I'll sit and talk to Dom and just it's just really enjoyable.
Speaker 1:So one of my questions, journal entry prompts recently was what parts of myself feel like they're waking back up. And I think really what that is is the creative side of me is really waking back up and I'm really interested in getting into some painting classes, some dance classes. I don't know when I'll have time for all of that, but that's what I'm desiring. And the next question is what new desires or dreams are stirring up that I've never let myself want before and I definitely that question really resonates for me because as a mom I had, you know, the two boys and a husband and we had such a busy life. I get to like revisit that. And for me I'm diving deeper into the flying thing. So more on that later, but that's my little guilty pleasure right now.
Speaker 1:And the next journal prompt is how would I move through life if I fully trusted my own wholeness right now? Not someday like, not once I'm healed, I will blah, blah, not like once I'm ready. So I think it's one of the things I say to myself often is like when I'm ready I'll date again. I have a lot of clarity right now, but that's not what I want. But there's other things that I've heard myself say well, someday and I really am stopping myself in those someday when I am X, I will Y. I'm trying to stop myself on that and say, like, is there any part of that that could happen now, or a little piece of that right? So, again, the audit of taking inventory of our life, our business and our energy wasn't just about our personal life, it was also about businesses and energy, and that inventory is ongoing. It's not a one and done process. It's something I'm returning to again and again, especially in this season of growth.
Speaker 1:So let me just remind you the three areas that I was kind of looking into for myself. It was energy. Where am I leaking energy? Into old stories, patterns or relationships that no longer align? And for me that one's hard because some of my old stories and patterns with relationships got me here and I certainly don't want them to take me there where I'm going. So I'm spending some time in therapy. I'm spending some time really diving into my side of the street, because when I do end up in a relationship again, I want to give it my all and I want my side of the street to be as reset as possible and I also want to know that version of myself. So I'm diving into that and it's kind of hard, yucky work and I'm seeing my comfort around chaos, my comfort around people telling me one thing and doing another and and my comfort in waiting for them to actually do what they say they're going to do and my comfort in being ghosted. Anyway, that's a whole other part of my life that maybe you don't need all the details about, but I'm diving into those things for myself, those things for myself and life.
Speaker 1:The next key area that I'm looking at, still with the audit inventory, is what rhythms, habits and environments really are supporting my healing and which ones are not, and what needs to shift. And that one's big for me right now and I'm very aware of what I need to change and I'm working on it and I'm trying to build that and I will share about that when that piece comes together for me. But I'm definitely aware that some of the environments I'm in are not here for the long run anymore and I really see that what has happened it's been very hard in the last year happened for us and not to us, and it's opening up some new amazing possibilities for environments and I'm so excited about that. I heard a really beautiful quote recently and it said this habits are the architects of our lives. I don't know who said that quote. It didn't like gift that quote to anyone when I read it, but it hit me hard.
Speaker 1:Habits are the architects of our lives, they are building our lives. So what are your habits on a daily basis? So, really taking inventory of habits that you have and habits that we don't want to have anymore and habits that we want to start up, that's something I'm really kind of playfully playing with for myself. For instance, I dry brush pretty often, but not every day, and when I do it every day I feel a lot better physically. So that's just a small little habit that can really catapult my energy. And, like I said, habits are the architects of our lives. What a cool quote, huh? Okay, the next energy inventory I'm sorry, not energy.
Speaker 1:The next inventory that I am still looking at is business, and is my business still a reflection of who I am becoming now, what needs to be released and what wants to be born? I don't have much to release right now that I want to release. I'm happy, but I'm birthing some new things and that's exciting and scary, but it's also fun to know that I can step into this next version of the life I want. So I've been really busy asking myself these questions and letting the answers come slowly, without rushing for clarity, but since this episode was so popular, I wanted to do another little refresh on it. So the final thing I want to kind of focus on is the bridge Really thinking about the fact that we're building a bridge towards the next level of ourselves. You know last week's episode I talked about having coffee with your future self, really thinking about if you're building a bridge towards that future self that you want to be, what would you do? One of the most tender lessons I'm learning is that you don't have to know exactly where you're going to start to build the bridge. You just have to take one small little step toward the version of yourself. You're becoming One small little habit towards the version of yourself you want to be.
Speaker 1:Remember, I suggested doing the next level jar in that episode and I'm kind of playing with the next level me jar and it's becoming a bit of a compass, a tiny little collection of aligned actions that keep reminding me that I'm allowed to dream again. You know, next to the dates with myself, jar is, um, I. One of the little things I put in there was write a love letter to my future self. I've done that a few times. I do that definitely every year on my birthday. But, um, just writing a love letter to your future self, it feels. Feels like you're closer to who you want to be in the future. Again. Another one is taking yourself on a solo date.
Speaker 1:Another idea for the next level me jar is to just say yes to something that scares you but that interests you. Or how about setting a bold financial goal and taking one small action towards meeting that? So let's say you want to have $10,000 in savings. A small goal towards that would be this month, putting $25 into savings. I get that that is going to take a long time to get to $10,000, but honoring that, you want to take that step and just in a small way taking that step, it actually feels like progress and that reaffirms to our brain that we can get there.
Speaker 1:What if another idea for your next level of me jar was to create a playlist for the woman or man that you're becoming, who you want to be. What kind of a badass do you want? Who you want to be, what kind of a badass, do you want? So those are some of my little ideas, but just remember, it's your path, it's your pace. Becoming is not a race, it is an unraveling and it is a homecoming. Building the bridge to your future is a homecoming to your safest, securest, happiest, vibrant self. So, wherever you are in your hard reset journey, whether you're still deep in the dismantling or just beginning to glimpse what next, just know this You're not behind, you're not broken, you're simply becoming. There is no timeline and I finally feel this with all that. I am the slow pace, the slow rest. There is no timeline and I can rest on my hard reset journey. I can do the Paddington Bear hard stare at people. On my hard reset journey, I'm giving myself permission to move at the pace of my own healing and I hope you will do the same. Give yourself permission to move at the pace of your own healing.
Speaker 1:I'll never forget a lot of my friends have gotten divorced in the last couple of years and one of them in particular got divorced and it was finalized like a year or two, a year and a half ago probably, and I remember thinking like why aren't you over this yet? Like get over it, like just move on with your life. You've gotten all the way through the divorce and now here I am, almost all the way through my divorce, and I am suddenly almost more lost than I was a year ago when it started, meaning everything was reset. And now here I am in this space, this hard reset of rebuilding, brick by brick, this path to build my bridge. And, man, I feel so bad that I felt that way that they should be further along than they are. It doesn't matter now, but just realize that I'm giving myself permission to move at a pace that feels good to me and I'm resting a lot on my rebuilding, and I hope that you will do the same. I'm still leaning deeply into rest, really deeply into detox, and deeply into meeting the new me. That's all I really have. But if this episode resonated with you, I would love to hear from you. I'd love to hear your reset journey. You can reach out to me at dot underscore, rock underscore on Instagram, or you can join the Oxygen First community, where we're learning to rise, learning to lean into support, just one breath at a time. So take a deep breath, trust the process and remember Oxygen First. Always Take care of yourself first, rest first.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, am I excited to share this new hiring return on investment calculator freebie that I have been working on for about six months. You're probably thinking what the heck is a return on investment? Well, that's when we take our revenue minus our expenses and it calculates how much return we get by investing in something. I've applied this very masculine concept to hiring and to the art of receiving support, and so what this little tool does that you can just go and download from my webpage, brockconsultingcom. What you can do is go and download this and use Curiosity 15 minutes total of your time. Go through this tool and it's going to help you make a little bit of data-driven decision-making around hiring and why it can help you in either your personal or professional life. You don't have to be an entrepreneur, but you could be an entrepreneur and it's going to help you understand the impact hiring or delegating more or handing off more tasks or even not spending any money on this and simply asking for more support how that could change your life. I'm excited about this freebie and I hope you will go check it out. Download it dot rock consultingcom. Enjoy.
Speaker 1:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to another episode of the power of oxygen first podcast. I hope you walk away feeling inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live, and I hope that you start leaning into the art of receiving support. I'm here to support you on that journey. Find me at dotrockconsultingcom or dot underscore rock underscore on Instagram. I'd love it if you'd go, follow me and shoot me a quick DM and let me know what takeaway from this episode hit you the hardest, sending you love and adventures on this beautiful day.
