The Power of Oxygen 1st
When my son was little, I was a single mom who was doing it all alone. I was putting everyone else first and my own needs last. To everyone around me, I was successful but little did they know that my success was tied to pushing, stressing, sleepless nights and early morning workouts pushing my body and my limits to the extreme. Until one day I was flying alone and nearly crashed an airplane and I realized that I needed to take care of my own needs first before anyone else. You see, when you’re a pilot, if you have any issues in the plane, you put on your oxygen mask 1st, not your passengers. They need you to land the plane.
This podcast is all about this journey to healing, to getting clear on the desires of your heart… and stepping into them with courage while leaning into, asking for and receiving support. I hope you feel inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live: a life filled to the brim with epic ADVENTURE.
The Power of Oxygen 1st
EP 65: Rediscovering You – Falling Back in Love with What You Love After Divorce
Have you ever found yourself staring into the mirror after a divorce, career shift, or major life change wondering "Who am I without all these roles I've been playing?" You're not alone. Through personal experience and conversations with friends navigating similar waters, I've discovered that rebuilding identity begins with a deceptively simple question: What do you love?
Many of us spend years sacrificing small joys—our music, hobbies, morning rituals—to make space for relationships, careers, and parenting. We pour out until we've unintentionally emptied ourselves. But reclaiming these passions isn't just about nostalgia; it's a powerful act of self-respect with real neurological benefits. Engaging with what you love literally boosts your serotonin and dopamine levels, rebuilding confidence from within.
I share my own favorite things list—from morning coffee beside my bed to baseball games with my son, from flying lessons to embroidery sessions—not as a template but as permission for you to create your own. Perhaps most healing is reclaiming activities previously dismissed by partners or circumstances. Each small "yes" to yourself builds self-trust, which radiates outward into every area of life. The journey isn't about perfectly reconstructing who you were before; it's about compassionately building who you're becoming. Because truly, the more we love our lives, the more life loves us back. Ready to make your list? I'd love to hear what makes it on there.
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Hey guys, this is the Power of Oxygen First podcast and I'm your host, dot Rock. I am an entrepreneur, a mom, a stepmom and a scaling consultant who is obsessed with the art of hiring, support and that dirty word we call delegation. I'm a recovering perfectionist who pushed my body and my limits to the extreme until one fateful day I learned that, just like pilots, I needed to take care of myself first. This podcast is all about the journey to healing, to getting clear on the desires of your heart, stepping into them with courage and leaning into and asking for support. I hope you feel inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live. Well, hello, my friends, welcome back to the Power of Oxygen First, where you know we believe self-care isn't selfish and it's just essential.
Speaker 1:Of course, I'm your host, dot, and today we are diving into something that so many of us face when we have major life shifts, lots going on being moms or parents or even just working in this world and realizing we've lost a little bit of who we are and needing to really fall back in love with what you love and who you are. I have many friends going through divorce right now, and I think one of the themes that I hear when we chat about this is that we feel a little bit lost and it's almost. For me, it's been almost uncomfortable to dive back into my hobbies, even though they richly fill up my heart so much. So today we're just really talking about reclaiming our favorite things and reconnecting to what lights us up and just honoring what you love and actually knowing that honoring, spending time doing what you love, actually rebuilds our self-confidence, which is definitely something I have struggled with in this last year through this divorce is self-confidence, and that is connected to self-trust and self-worth and all of those things, and so I'll have to do a whole other podcast and dive into what I'm processing as I rebuild my self-confidence. But one thing I do know is that it helps me to really be clear on what I love, and I think that many of my friends that are going through divorce have lost that so deeply.
Speaker 1:They can hardly answer the question of what they love, and I think sometimes in our midlife, as we're parenting and working and doing all the things running businesses, we can just really lose sight of what it is that lights us up. We sacrifice the little things our music, our hobbies, our morning rituals to make space for relationships, to make space for our business, to make space for everything else. It's like such deep self-sacrifice In fact it's almost like a codependency thing to do that, meaning we're trying to control others when we have control over ourselves and we could be diving into what we love and over time unintentionally I think we let go of pieces of ourselves. And for me, when my marriage ended, I was left wondering why I hadn't been spending more time on the things that I love and why I had forced myself to make so many sacrifices. I didn't have to make dinner six nights a week. I probably could have done it three, and I know that my husband would have been happy with that, but I felt so compelled to do that for the family and some of that time could have been spent pouring into myself. So I don't struggle with knowing what I like, but many people do.
Speaker 1:So this is me encouraging you to pause and start a little note in your phone about what you even like, because there's so much healing power in rediscovering what you love, this love, honoring what you love. It's not just nostalgia, it's about this act of self-respect, and science actually really backs this up. Engaging in activities that you love boost your serotonin and your dopamine, which does help regulate your mood and your confidence. So it's sort of like having coffee with your future self instead of your past self. Yes, remember, we talked about that in a previous episode. Think about what your future self would ideally be doing loving, thriving. I know I know all kinds of things come up. Don't let the stories of I can't afford that, I can't do that pop up. Just start making a list.
Speaker 1:If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do? What would you allow yourself to spend your time doing? So I would make a list. What if it's like? What did I love list? What do I love list now?
Speaker 1:I have noticed for myself many times that for a while I was trying to rebuild back to who I was, and I've changed completely. My puzzle pieces don't fit together the way they once did, and so I'm having to honor what I love now. Here's one thing that I would have not had on my list a year ago or 10 years ago I now love to hold down the couch and watch a couple of shows, binge something and just let myself have that time, I put my phone upstairs, I disconnect from that and I just let myself binge and get lost in that. And I never used to do that. And now I'm like looking for shows that I can do that with, that I can enjoy, that I can talk to people about. I never used to do that, I used to just be a reader.
Speaker 1:So I encourage you to realize that the list you might've had a year ago or 10 years ago or five years ago may not be the list you come up with today, but remember that song. These are a few of my favorite things. But if you thought about that song and made a list, what are a few of your favorite things? What hobbies make you lose track of time? What movies do you rewatch a million times? What are your favorite activities, foods, music, places you've visited, what are they for you? Okay, so here are a few of my favorite things.
Speaker 1:You probably know most of these about me, but I love slow mornings and hot, dark roast coffee. So much so that in this divorce, I put a coffee maker right next to my bed. My journal is right next to my bed and I wake up in the morning and I make myself a cup of coffee. I don't use creamer or anything, so it's pretty easy right there. If I did use creamer I would probably have put a little refrigerator in my room so that I could accommodate that. But my coffee's right there. I roll over and make myself a hot cup of coffee and I start journaling pretty much right away and I love that. And I have my dog right there and we snuggle and I love slow mornings and hot coffee.
Speaker 1:I love baseball. I love everything about baseball. I love watching it. I love having it on TV. That's something I've allowed myself to indulge in this year is getting subscriptions that allow me to have baseball on my television. I never had that before. I love watching it. I love going to the batting cages with my son. I love playing catch with my son. I love traveling to see baseball games and that is something we've been diving deeply into.
Speaker 1:I love flying. I love flying. It's probably my ultimate, ultimate, deepest guilty pleasure. I love flying. I love everything about airplanes. I've kind of surrounded myself in this house with things that I love. Like I'm looking around the room right now and there's a baseball poster and there's a Dodgers pennant and there's just things that I love, but there's also airplane stuff everywhere. But I love flying and it is the ultimate indulgence and it means that I need to study and spend time on that in order to be safe, and so I'm letting myself pour into this adventure and this luxury and it feels like the ultimate oxygen first mask for me.
Speaker 1:I love studying. It's something that I deeply enjoy. I love to work hard on something and accomplish it. I love accomplishing things right. So a guilty pleasure of mine is to go to a coffee shop and unplug for two hours and study something. So I'm studying for an HR test right now and I'm studying for a flying test, and I haven't been to a coffee shop in a couple of weeks to do that, and that is what I'm craving for a flying test, and I haven't been to a coffee shop in a couple weeks to do that, and that is what I'm craving deeply this week.
Speaker 1:I love reading. I love reading books. I read probably I don't know five or six books a month, and I love reading with coffee. I love reading before I go to bed. I love going to bed early and reading. I love reading. I love walking through coffee shops I mean sorry, not coffee shops. They're bookstores. I love books, so that is a real pleasure for me. I love making a beautiful dinner, cooking in my kitchen, slowly, beautifully dancing in the kitchen with Miles Davis on, and someday know, someday again, I'd love to share that with a man, but right now I'm sharing that with my son who is becoming a man, and I'm just doing that for us and for myself. And on the nights that I spend the extra time to do that, it feels it just feels so nourished and so loved.
Speaker 1:After I do that, I love yoga. I love practicing yoga in the mornings after I do my journaling, even if it's just for 10 minutes, on the mat in my bedroom. I love sitting there and just kind of reconnecting with the ground and my body and my spirit. I love long walks with Obi. I love them without music for a while, just to hear the birds and nature, and then I love them with music and a podcast or a book on tape. I love that. I love throwing the ball for Obi. It gives me such deep joy.
Speaker 1:I love breathwork and journaling and, like I said, yoga I like spending time doing that as often as I can. I feel breathwork and journaling and, like I said yoga. I like spending time doing that as often as I can. I feel nourished when I do and, speaking of nourished, I love working out. I love going to the gym and lifting weights. I love feeling strong. It's something that sometimes I feel like, oh, how can I fit that in today? And then I think that is the one thing you have to fit in today. I love nourishing my body with healthy foods. I love being with friends and laughing and I love playing cards. So those are a few of my favorite things that I am saying. Oh, another one I love sewing. I love embroidering. I will sit around at night either coloring or embroidering for like 10 minutes. I'll just set a timer, and it's such a good reconnect Instead of being on Instagram or social media and kind of numbing out. I love doing that.
Speaker 1:Okay, so as we make a list, we have to also start honoring that. You're going to have to start saying yes to yourself, okay. So like, for instance, what if you absolutely love hiking, but your ex hated it? What if you love bike rides on the river trail but your ex hated it? What is it that you love that maybe didn't have space in your relationship or in the past and how can you let that trickle back in? I'd say, get your boots and go hiking or jump on that bike and go for a ride.
Speaker 1:If your past partner really dismissed something that you loved, I think that's one of the first things I would encourage you to reclaim without guilt. And if your current partner dismisses something that you love, I would again encourage you to reclaim that love without guilt, within reason, and then just start creating small rituals of joy. Some of my small rituals are I when I start working for the day, when I start my work day, I light a candle when I'm going through my emails and I listen to the same playlist when I'm working right when I start, and just allowing myself to do those things just builds up confidence. Myself to do those things just builds up confidence. And I think confidence is really built in those small moments when we choose ourselves and what we love.
Speaker 1:Because the reality is, confidence isn't just about external achievements, it's about trust. And when we honor what we love, we're telling ourselves I matter, my joy matters, and sadly, I think sometimes we lose that for a while how much we matter. And I'm leaning deeply into this self-trust that it radiates from the choices we make for ourselves, the ways that we show up for what we committed to. Whether anyone else knows we committed to it. We have to show up for that. That self-trust, that self-confidence radiates outward. It makes us more magnetic, more grounded and open to so many new possibilities. Really, the reality is, the more we love our lives, the more life can love us back. So that is what I've been thinking about a lot the last few days and I wanted to share that.
Speaker 1:I hope it inspires you to make a list or to do one thing that you love. I hope it inspires you to make a list or to do one thing that you love. And if today's episode sparked anything in you, I'd love to hear from you. Dm me on Instagram, dot underscore, rock underscore or even leave a review on the podcast. That would be amazing. I'd love to get a few more reviews out there. And if you're on this journey of rediscovering yourself, please take it slow, give yourself grace and celebrate every small yes to yourself. Remember the power of oxygen first. It's powerful Because when you take care of you, everything else follows, sending you light and love and lots of adventure as you dive back into a few of your favorite things.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, am I excited to share this new hiring return on investment calculator freebie that I have been working on for about six months. You're probably thinking what the heck is a return on investment? Well, that's when we take our revenue minus our expenses and it calculates how much return we get by investing in something. I've applied this very masculine concept to hiring into the art of receiving support, and so what this little tool does that you can just go and download from my webpage, dot rock consultingcom. What you can do is go and download this and use curiosity 15 minutes total of your time. Go through this tool and it's gonna help you make a little bit of data driven decision making around hiring and why it can help you in either your personal or professional life. You don't have to be an entrepreneur, but you could be an entrepreneur and it's going to help you understand the impact hiring or delegating more or handing off more tasks or even not spending any money on this and simply asking for more support how that could change your life. I'm excited about this freebie and I hope you will go check it out. Download it, dotrockconsultingcom. Enjoy.
Speaker 1:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to another episode of the Power of Oxygen First podcast. I hope you walk away feeling inspired to do less, to follow your passions and infuse them into your daily life and truly claim the life you were meant to live, and I hope that you start leaning into the art of receiving support. I'm here to support you on that journey. Find me at dotrockconsultingcom or dot underscore rock underscore on Instagram. I'd love it if you'd go, follow me and shoot me a quick DM and let me know what takeaway from this episode hit you the hardest, sending you love and adventures on this beautiful day.
