Most Self-Improved

‘The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control’: Part 3

Erin Jensen and Bhavana Chilukuri

Calling all perfectionists: this series is for you! In "The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control,” psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler gives a formula for feeling restored and highlights the importance of allowing yourself to experience pleasure today.

“Restoration is a two-phase process. You empty yourself out, you fill yourself back up,” she writes. Katherine says restoration is the combination of passive relaxation (think watching TV, taking a nap) and active relaxation (things like walking, cooking, going to a social gathering).

Katherine also warns against putting off pleasure:  “When you make your access to pleasure conditional (a ‘treat’ for being good), you’re communicating to yourself that whether you deserve to feel good lies in direct proportion to your performance, not your existence.”

She emphasizes to readers that their value lies in who they are as people, not their number of wins.

“All people care about is you, and you are not a composite list of your perceived accomplishments and failures in life," she writes. "The energy you bring into the room with you is more valuable than anything you could ever do.”

More:

Buy the book and read along. The reading schedule is as follows. Read each section prior to listening to the episode.

Nov. 30 episode covers Chapters 1 through 4

Dec. 7 episode covers Chapters 5 through 7

Dec. 14 episode covers Chapters 8 and 9

Find out what type of perfectionist you are with this quick quiz.

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