Let's Talk Midlife Crisis Podcast
Hosts Ashley & Traci are creating a community and empowering women going thru midlife and aging, exploring the topic of midlife crisis an all its complexities. This is a space where we can come together to share our stories, our experiences, and our perspectives on this pivotal moment in our lives.
Whether you're going through a midlife crisis yourself, going through menopause, dating in midlife or just interested in learning more about this fascinating topic, we invite you to join us for insightful conversations with experts, personal stories from real people, and practical advice on how to navigate this challenging time.
Our goal is to create a community where we can support each other through the ups and downs of midlife, and help each other find meaning, purpose and fulfillment in the second half of our lives.
So buckle up and get ready for an engaging and thought-provoking journey into the world of midlife crisis. We can't wait to share this adventure with you!
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Let's Talk Midlife Crisis Podcast
Finding Joy in Retirement: Nina’s Journey of Fitness, Friendship, and Personal Growth
Can a "later life crisis" be the key to unlocking a fulfilling retirement? Join us for an inspiring conversation with Nina, a 70-year-old Arizona native with a rich history in broadcasting and agency work. Nina opens up about her journey from the initial struggles of having too much free time to finding joy in new activities like joining a gym through the Silver Sneakers program. She also shares the delightful, albeit challenging, experience of attending "Dinner with Strangers," which brought new friendships and immense joy. This episode is a heartwarming exploration of staying active, embracing new opportunities, and thriving in retirement.
Navigating the world of online dating and personal growth is not just for the young. In our discussion, we delve into Nina’s experiences with dating sites, the importance of setting boundaries, and how geography plays a critical role in finding meaningful connections. We talk about self-care, fitness, and the therapeutic benefits of exercise, emphasizing how staying active can lead to surprising new relationships. From the simple joy of new tennis shoes to the excitement of local adventures, this episode celebrates finding happiness and personal growth in the later chapters of life. Whether you're retired or approaching retirement, Nina’s story offers valuable insights into embracing new beginnings with grace and enthusiasm.
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Hello and welcome to let's Talk Midlife Crisis with your hosts, ashley and Tracy. Pull up a chair for your seat at the table. As we talk about today, we have a special guest with us, nina. Welcome, nina.
Speaker 2:Welcome.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1:We're happy to have you, we're happy to have you, so tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 3:Well, I am an Arizona native. I've lived here since I was six months old and I just turned 70.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:Congratulations. And I lived, I was raised in Phoenix, but I now live in the old folk Mesa area.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:And I've been in broadcasting since I was 20 years old, working television and radio.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:And then the last 10 years before I retired, I was in the agency work.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:So on the opposite end of being at the stations itself. So I put the TV and radio stations on the air every day, and that's what I did for 45 years Wow.
Speaker 1:I know, I know, and so now in the golden age, yay, yay.
Speaker 3:Which I found out that my birthday was considered a platinum jubilee.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:That's when you turn 70. Okay, my best friend just turned 72 days ago, so we took her out for her platinum jubilee birthday wow and um, it's just a completely different life. Yeah, not having to work every day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's only been since what june, the end of June.
Speaker 3:Yeah, two months, and now it feels like two years. Wow, really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what are you doing now?
Speaker 3:It's funny because I did some research and I wanted to know if you can have a midlife crisis at 70. And you can have a later life crisis at 70.
Speaker 2:Okay, and do you think? That's what you're experiencing huh, do you feel that's what you're experiencing, forced into?
Speaker 3:it. You know, I would have still been working if my job hadn't, you know, re-destructed their employees and stuff, because I had uh plans on working to the end of the year. But I was cursed out, which was the best thing that ever happened when I was working. I was working so many hours and I would be so tired at the end of the day that to work on me was not a priority, and so the first week I really didn't know what to do with myself.
Speaker 3:And then I decided to go join a gym and because I am on medicare, we have free gym uh, gym memberships all over. You just have to check with the specific gym that you go to. Okay, it's called silver sneakers. Wow, I love that. Um, yeah, it's a great program. I pay additional for my personal training, but they have all these different classes that are for free, and the gym I go to is in East Mesa and there are a lot of people my age and older that attend to this gym, so it's not so intimidating. So that has changed my life and just trying new and different things that I would have never done, working, you know, eight to ten, twelve hours a day right because I was just so consumed with work right and, like you said, you're exhausted by the end of the day.
Speaker 2:You don't.
Speaker 3:You are you don't have the motivation to do other things yeah, and so it's kind of been a godsend that you know I kind of was forced to retire early and the fact that I can right um, I still want to go back to work part-time and do something because I need to. Just yeah, the other day I was having a crisis of some kind and I just thought I have to go back to work.
Speaker 1:Right, I have too much time on my hands. I think at some level it's almost I don't know what to do yet. Yeah, I think at some level it's almost like a PTSD when you stop working. So when you said you know I was having a crisis the other day, that's what it made me think of right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, the first thing that came into my mind was I have to go back to work. Yeah, yeah. Well, my air conditioning broke for five days so I had to stay at my daughter's.
Speaker 2:That's enough to lose your mind.
Speaker 3:I wasn't in my own home and so it was hot and I was really mad. And I was talking to Tracy earlier from my best friend I found out there was this thing called dinner with strangers yeah and it's this. This company is called time left left and you pay a small fee. It's every Wednesday night, but it's only in Phoenix.
Speaker 3:It's not in the East Valley or Scottsdale yet. So I booked myself, but then the air conditioning broke, so I canceled that. So I went this Wednesday, ah, and we met at a restaurant in Arcadia area.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:The Henry.
Speaker 2:I love the Henry.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So when you say we, so it's oh, go ahead, no, go ahead no. I was going to say was it you and one other person, or was it a group of people?
Speaker 3:Well, they usually have six people at a table and then you answer all these questions, so they can kind of match you with the kind of people that you would like to be with. Okay, and they're very general questions they do ask you your birth year. Okay, not your birthday but they do ask for your Zodiac sign, which I thought was good, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's kind of funny.
Speaker 3:So, but they don't tell you where you're going to meet until the morning of Wow. So you have that information. And there were some people from downtown Phoenix, me from Mesa, one from chandler, one from tempe, so, um, you know, they did travel, okay, and we just all sat down and there's this little thing on the app that asks questions. So everybody goes around the table and asks questions and, uh, it was a blast, you know oh, I'm not gonna do it again until I get something, probably in the East Valley.
Speaker 2:Okay, because it was.
Speaker 3:That's a hike it was six o'clock, traffic direct sun in my eyes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And you know, but at least it was at 44th and Camelback and I thought it was going to be in downtown Phoenix.
Speaker 1:Right, right.
Speaker 3:And then, after you have dinner, they invite you to another place if you would like to continue to have drinks.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:And they had a bar downtown, I think at the Radisson, if you wanted to go. So those are the kind of things I'm trying to get myself out of the house with Good for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Now with the age group, was it people your age? Was it a mix of younger and more mature people? You?
Speaker 3:know, my age group was 30s and 40s, but the table next to me was an older group. Oh, okay, and I think I was at the wrong table, but when I got there the table was already full which was fine. Right and the people I met were great. There was one guy that was kind of an introvert but he wanted to try and he was really nice. There was a tech guy and woman who did food photography.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, that would be a fun job.
Speaker 3:Electrical lines. I mean just all sorts of different people.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:And it was just so interesting that you know they have these jobs that you would never even think of.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And so, yeah, we ordered dinner and sat and ate and talked and it was a little loud but we got through it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the Henry can get really busy.
Speaker 3:On a Wednesday night, you know they say the economy's bad. No, it isn't no. People go out to eat, especially here in the East Valley. Yeah, the restaurants are packed every night. It doesn't matter yeah. Yeah restaurants are packed every night. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I know. So for me it's just trying new things which I would never, ever do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I was. I have a friend that retired in the last couple of years and um recently. I guess, maybe in the last six months to a year she started doing a lot of charity and working with the food banks and and she's gotten so involved that she goes on a regular basis to help the food banks and goes to banquets and all kinds of things. And then she also um and this is, you know, not for everybody, but she also started taking in refugees, um, so families that yeah, yeah so she's really just kind of dove into all of that because she had so much free time and she's actually very young.
Speaker 2:She's in her late 40s. She retired very young oh, wow um, yeah, but but yeah, she's just kind of really dove into all that and she's thriving, she loves. It.
Speaker 3:Is charity, something that you would ever consider doing well, we have a mutual friend that we worked with.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was thinking that that sounds just like our friend um lt. Okay, yeah yeah, that's lt yeah yeah, she's no well, she's very charitable and she always has done that, even when she worked and had young children. Yeah, she was always very a part of her church, involved with charitable organizations and events and things. And we're setting something up and I don't remember when, but we've got something coming up and I think it's in the East Valley, right, nina?
Speaker 3:Right Feed the Starving Children, which is an organization that puts together these boxes of all this different kind of protein foods, and you know there are stations with different and each time you go it's the same product put in these bags. And so the last time we did that, we sat at a table with some very interesting people and did labels for the bags and the other people you know filled the bags and it was just. It was really nice and we had gone there at our old company for a community service for our company.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, okay, right, because amina and I, yeah, we worked together.
Speaker 1:I didn't make it, I was super busy at work.
Speaker 3:Um, I just haven't researched it. Yeah, a lot, I know there's a lot out here. Yeah, yeah, definitely yeah. So you know, and just to meet people, right, absolutely yeah. To get to know people yeah.
Speaker 1:And to give back a little bit too. I think it's just so.
Speaker 2:It's very rewarding, yeah, to do things like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think it's probably.
Speaker 3:There's so many people in need. Absolutely you don't realize that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's and you're in need. I mean, if you're suddenly your life has been flipped upside down and suddenly you're not working and you have all this time you kind of I would assume feel like you don't have the purpose that you had before, exactly At least when you're working, you have a purpose. Right and I know.
Speaker 3:I have a purpose. I have two beautiful grandchildren that I can, you know, go take care of. In fact, I'm taking care of my grandchild on Thursdays now for half a day to help my daughter out.
Speaker 1:And friends, yeah.
Speaker 3:You don't go out and make friends. Right, it's work, yeah, and you know, I think, if it's one thing that I can tell people, you know, don't get in that rut. You have a great salary, salary, you have great benefits and you just stick to that and when you're young, diversify try new things, because when you get to my age it's not like I can go out and make that same salary that I worked 20 years to get and switch jobs when I don't want to work that much I want to do something that brings joy to people well, and it's.
Speaker 1:I think it's not money in somebody else's pocket right. Well, I think there's a huge difference of having to work and wanting to work, right, there's a huge difference just in the whole psyche of it all, um, and the fact that you just want to work, and not necessarily for that paycheck, but just for you know. Maybe it's the socialization, maybe it's for, you know, giving back or any number.
Speaker 2:Moving around, doing a little more active than sitting at a desk.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, and.
Speaker 1:Yeah. No, I agree than sitting at a desk. Right, yeah, right and yeah, no, I agree. And also back to the dating. I did want to touch with you about dating because we talked a few months ago and, um, a few brunches ago, right, um, about your experiences and that you were starting to date. Can you tell us and share with us your first how you? You know what happened the first time that did you download an app and you saw somebody and you joined because of that picture. Tell that story.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, I researched it and there's quite a few dating sites. Some of them are questionable, but we're not silver singles. Um, you don't have to pay to be on the site. But if you want more uh people to you know, look at and maybe meet up with, you have to pay a fee. Right, it's not bad? I mean, it's you can pay for just one month, if you want, or six months, or whatever maybe meet up with, you have to pay a fee, Right, it's not bad.
Speaker 3:I mean you can pay for just one month, if you want, or six months or whatever, and then you put your profile in and your picture and then people send you smiles or they send you a little note, right, and you text back and they don't know who you are and I never gave my name, just put arizona gal, okay, right and so I found somebody that I wanted to meet who was actually about 10 minutes from me oh, wow but you're in a 50 mile radius yes not a very small radius.
Speaker 3:Wow and um, even, you know, found a gentleman that I would have loved to have met, but he's in tucson and I'm not going to drive it's funny.
Speaker 1:I'm the same way geography like you are, I don't know, maybe a good 30, 45 minutes from where I live. But if I, if somebody, if I was interacting, I wouldn't even interact with somebody that lived far in the east valley, and that's so funny to me. Um, that that's my mindset. You know, I have my own geographic radius that's. It's all about convenience it is, it is we live in our little bubble you know right I mean I don't mind driving, but not to Tucson right
Speaker 3:so I found this gentleman and, uh, we tried to meet up but he got real sick so we had to postpone it for another week. And then we finally met up and we had a really nice lunch and we chatted for a couple hours and that was it. I mean, I didn't get a response or anything. And then, um, I had another date with a gentleman who lived in Phoenix and we had another lovely lunch and he called me the following Wednesday and I don't know what happened, but he just went off on a rant and I didn't really know what to say and I tried to calm him down and I really don't know what he's talking about.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say what was he talking about? Horrible, and blah, blah, blah. Oh no.
Speaker 3:So I said well, you know, if you, when you want to talk to me in a decent tone of voice, call me and I'm on the phone. And I didn't hear back from him and I thought you know what dinner with strangers sounds a lot nicer, right right wow doing that anymore, but I'll go back to it. Um, I think once I feel better about myself I will yeah yeah, I just came off of you know, 10 years of agency work and I was exhausted.
Speaker 1:Yes, um, but because a friend of mine, her, her niece had gone on a dating site and met a gentleman and now they're both totally in love, yes, I thought, well, I can do that you hear, I think yeah, for my, for me, in my generation, it just it's still not natural for the online dating and I'm very resistant, um, and I just hope to meet somebody you know organically, but the natural way, the natural way, but it's not happening.
Speaker 2:So, um, but I it's just the way it is now it's but I also we've talked about too how you know you get to a point and I'm there now where I I like to stay home yeah I don't mind getting out with friends every once in a while, but I just don't go out as much as I used to. So you know, if you're not getting out there, then you're not going to meet someone.
Speaker 1:Exactly, which is what happens to me, right? So?
Speaker 2:it's great that you're you're doing these things because, it's quite possible. You won't have to go on the dating app again. You may just meet somebody organically.
Speaker 3:I would like to get in good enough shape to meet somebody at the gym. Right Now there's many people there that are my age, you know, and so maybe we would have something in common Exactly. But you know, I mean my gym goal is, you know, for a year. It's going to take me a year to get back in shape, because I sat on my butt for 10 years. It didn't really do much.
Speaker 2:It happens to the best of us.
Speaker 3:Yes yes, well, it's fine when you're young, but when you're older it's a whole other story. But you know, I took one silver sneakers class and there was women in there that were probably 5 to 10 years older than me.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 3:And they kicked my butt.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so awesome though.
Speaker 2:But they've been going probably for a while.
Speaker 3:They've been doing it. They've been going for quite a while, yeah, and so I just have to realize that it's going to take some time.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:And now I push myself and you know, just enjoy this, instead of trying to get everything done all at once. Right, it's a process as far as just want it done, now trying to get everything done all at once.
Speaker 1:Right, it's a process. Yeah, yeah, it's a process. Patient people, right. And also, I think, with exercise you're gonna feel better. Um, yeah, the endorphins that you get from exercising is so good, and nature as well. Right, which is something that I don't do enough is spending time in nature.
Speaker 2:Um, I saw something hard when it's 110 I know summer is not the best time to be outside not here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not, definitely not here my best friend when we took her out for her breakfast dinner last night. Um says we need to, you know, schedule another outing for the day yeah, exactly exactly, and I know Camp Verde has a railroad, a railway there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they have wineries too, yes, and we had gone to Cottonwood last year and Bisbee last year. Oh, I love both those places, yeah. And so we're trying to just do maybe one of those every quarter just to see something different, but we're going to have to wait until it gets a little cooler because it's just too hot something different, but we're going to have to wait until it gets a little cooler because it's just too hot, Right. But yes, we need more outdoor.
Speaker 1:I do I do? I saw something recently it was probably in a movie or something that I was watching and it showed the stars and I thought, oh my gosh, I don't remember the last time that I saw the sky like that. Even in the city, there's just too much light, um, for you to really see the stars the way you could if you were out, you know, in the middle of nowhere. So, um, but I think exercising and being outdoors, all of that just helps, um, you know, with your, with your mental health and your attitude and how you feel. You know you're more energized and all of that. So I'm so happy that you're doing all of that now and you have the time, the luxury of you know, time to be able to do that and still set those goals for yourself about losing weight or you dating and all of that. We do have a lot of seniors here so it's fun, I know.
Speaker 3:The other day I was driving around going oh my god, I don't have to go anywhere today, except for you know where I want to go right, and after this podcast, I'm gonna go and get new tennis shoes there you go the brightest color I can, because when I'm at the gym the mat is black and my tennis shoes are black and you have to walk around all these machines and it's kind of dangerous, especially a person like me. I don't need to fall, even though the ground is kind of squishy.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I thought I would have never done that if I was still working. You know, I just wear my old tennis shoes and I wouldn't think about it. So little things like that are kind of fun. You know just, I get to buy any new tennis shoes anyway.
Speaker 1:Right, right, but I don't know. Girls especially, I think, love it, no matter what kind of shoes they are. When you buy new shoes, you know it always makes you feel a little bit better and maybe go for a neon you. It always makes you feel a little bit better and maybe go for a neon.
Speaker 3:You know I can see you in like a neon green or yeah bright orange or, yes, against that black is, you know, going to help me, but you know also I deserve it because I'm working hard. Absolutely, you forget about yourself when you're working oh, you absolutely do, you absolutely do and I've worked my whole life, and now I don't want to be selfish, I want to be self-full.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. I like that.
Speaker 3:I like that and so, but I really do have to stop spending yeah.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately, that's something you have to kind of reel in when you're no longer employed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but a pair of new tennis shoes isn't going to break the bank, perhaps.
Speaker 3:A new cart is really easy.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, oh gosh, yeah, they have made it so easy to shop. Do you feel like you will be traveling a lot in the near future? I know that you used to go to Hawaii and you know, do a little bit more traveling because your friend lived there, but now she's your neighbor, so you're BFF.
Speaker 3:I eventually will look into maybe some senior travel clubs or organizations. Tours maybe Just do a day trip, Okay, Because you know it's expensive. I mean, we went to Bisbee for new year's last year and you know that was quite expensive for the hotel and the food and everything. It was worth it right but um you know, things aren't cheap, right? Now and we're coming into high season here, when it starts getting cool right but. I wouldn't mind't mind, just you know, like I say, driving to Sedona for the day.
Speaker 1:Doing the day trips or, you know, camp Verde or you know, one of the outer areas. But to travel, Nothing abroad, nothing like that.
Speaker 3:Hawaii is really expensive. Oh gosh yeah, but my daughter and I went to San Diego last month and had an absolute blast. If I'm going gonna do that, I'm just gonna go san diego, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So no, no bucket list of you know traveling abroad or things like that, okay, okay we have so much to see here in the states.
Speaker 3:I need a very wealthy gentleman who would like to take me you never know, you never know.
Speaker 3:It sounds like you're going in that direction, that you'll probably meet someone and as long as he's okay, yeah, but um no, I mean I just have to take baby steps right now I just want to get my health back, yes, and my mental health back right, and then you know I can start deciding what I want to do. But you know it's been two months and you have to decompress exactly and I still think about work and I don't dream about it anymore thank goodness my last day.
Speaker 3:That night I never dreamt about work again wow and I have a smart watch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it traps everything I do right but it tracks my sleep yeah, so I'm seeing my sleep improve wow over the last month yeah, you don't have the stressors that you used to have, and I think you know going to the gym is probably helping you sleep better as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the first month I wasn't really seeing any change. And now I can get up off the couch or I can get out of bed and my back doesn't hurt and my legs are stronger. Good, and so you know, hopefully by the end of the year I'll see, you know, a good 30, 40% change. Yeah that's amazing. I just have to stop eating.
Speaker 1:But I think too, when you're, when you're busy like that, then you know you won't be just sitting around all day grabbing a bag of chips or whatever. So, but in exercising you're just, you know it's so good for your body and for your health and, um, and I'm so happy to hear that that you're waking up and you're feeling good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm waking up yeah, it should be like a short story right waking up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've been asleep for the last 45 years and it goes by like the blink of an eye. It does right, we all know. It just goes by so quickly and you put things off until you know tomorrow or next week, or you know when the kids are grown, or you know it's. And for me I always felt like or perhaps I still feel that way. I just consciously try not to, but in hindsight now I feel like, oh my gosh, I was wishing my life away, like I couldn't wait, you know, oh, I wish for this day to be over. Or oh, I wish for this week to be over. And now it's like wait a minute.
Speaker 2:Well, even, I mean even with, you know, raising my kids, I remember, you know, once they were all in high school. My oldest was just out of high school, my younger two were in high school and I was like, okay, I can start the countdown, they're gonna be gone soon, you know. And then it happened now they're all in their 20s and I'm an empty nester and I I'm like I don't know what to do with myself. I, I kind of miss that, like what I have all this time and now I'm just kind of losing my mind yeah, you know yeah and I.
Speaker 2:I feel terrible that I kind of like wish that all away.
Speaker 3:But I mean they're doing amazing.
Speaker 2:I'm happy for them.
Speaker 1:I'm readjusting um, just like you, in a different way, but you know it is it's very, like you said, kind of like midlife or late life crisis, late life crisis like crisis yeah everything crisis, but it's like wake up and finding your purpose, yeah, yeah, and finding your purpose again and and all of that which we've had, um discussions about finding our purpose and fulfillment and life, and I'm just so happy for you right now and I can't wait till I'm in that phase of my life, but I'm in a good place right now and, um, you know my job. I most days. I love my job. Um, of course, we all have bad days, but it's so much different from you know where I was for 20 years and that intense amount of stress and pressure and deadlines and hours and stuff. I feel like I have a work-life balance and I actually signed up for a dating website, so we'll have to talk a little bit more about that at brunch or on another episode.
Speaker 1:Nothing exciting yet, and a lot of them are out of the country, so I just said I wouldn't date somebody that lived across town. And I have all these people from Argentina and Brazil and, even though they look very handsome, it's just unfeasible. It's unrealistic, quite honestly. But we really appreciate you taking the time out of your day, nina, to join us. Thank you, it's so much fun, it is so much fun.
Speaker 2:You're very inspirational.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 3:Well, I have a few other ideas for a podcast too.
Speaker 2:I'm working on it oh good, okay, good.
Speaker 1:So we're, going to hear from you. You'll be coming back as a guest, maybe.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Oh, we'd love to have you.
Speaker 3:We'd love to. I was talking to my best friend last night. I said Jodi, you need to join me on this podcast, but she's kind of shy Right.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe next time she'll join us. Yeah, that would be fun she will you never know, you never know. And that just about wraps it up for today. Thank you for joining us on let's Talk Midlife Crisis Embrace the change.
Speaker 2:Join the conversation on our website at letstalkmidlifecrisiscom, or our Facebook or Instagram and YouTube channels. We'd love to hear from you guys.
