Let's Talk Midlife Crisis Podcast

Exploring Social Dynamics: Dinner With Strangers - Timeleft App

• Ashley and Traci • Season 2 • Episode 10

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Ever wondered if you could forge meaningful connections with strangers over a surprise dinner? Our latest episode features Nina, who takes us on her intriguing journey with the Time Left Dinner with Strangers app—an innovative platform that organizes social dinners in 65 countries and 285 cities. This isn't about finding love; it's about stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing the delightful unpredictability of meeting new people. With surprise dining locations and a diverse mix of attendees, Nina shares her experiences, from awkward age gaps to the joy of spontaneous conversations.

We also tackle the nuts and bolts of attending these events, especially in areas like Phoenix where logistics can be a challenge. With a participant pool that's 68% women and a funny quirk of labeling retirees as "not working," the app presents unique dynamics in social interactions. Our discussion covers everything from the importance of conversation starters to the experience of being a remote worker seeking social engagement. By sharing personal stories and discussing the potential improvements of such platforms, this episode is a treasure trove of insights for anyone curious about navigating midlife social landscapes.


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to let's Talk Midlife Crisis.

Speaker 2:

I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy, we're your go-to hosts for all things midlife menopause and moments of pure mayhem.

Speaker 1:

Whether you're navigating hot flashes, chasing new passions or just trying to remember why you walked into a room.

Speaker 2:

We got you. Every week we bring you tips, real life stories and expert advice to help you laugh, learn and thrive through this wild midlife journey. And we're on wdj yfm 99.1 every monday morning at 9 am. So to all our atl listeners, thank you for tuning in.

Speaker 1:

So grab your favorite drink and settle in for some laughs and insight. You're in good company.

Speaker 2:

And today we have Nina back with us today. Hi Nina, Welcome back.

Speaker 3:

Hi everybody.

Speaker 2:

So today we're going to be talking about dating in midlife or in your third act, which you are in and I'm approaching very quickly, but also you and I you, the last time we were, we had you on our show. You mentioned you had tried a new dating app called Time Left Dinner with Strangers, and we talked about it on the show. I was very intrigued by it and wanted to try it, so I did try it. We'll back up and just start with what it is right. So it's an app that actually I was surprised to find is um in 65 countries. Oh wow, right yeah 285 cities.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, so it is global and definitely very much throughout the U? S. It's an app and you put in some general information. You can put more in. I didn't put like upload a picture or anything like that. Did you put a picture in?

Speaker 3:

No, yeah, no, I just answered the questions, the general questions.

Speaker 1:

Is it kind of like based off your interests and your personality and that kind of thing?

Speaker 3:

The questions Very, very general.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay the questions very very general.

Speaker 3:

Oh okay, they use an algorithm to match you with five other people. Oh um, for that particular wednesday or whatever. Okay, um, but I didn't. I just wanted to see what it was like. But it actually isn't a dating app, it's a social app.

Speaker 1:

It's more for meeting friends.

Speaker 3:

It's just for having dinner with five other people.

Speaker 1:

Strangers.

Speaker 2:

Right Dinner with strangers. Yeah, yes, Right. It's very cool.

Speaker 1:

I like the concept.

Speaker 3:

Yeah Well, it's been around for a long time.

Speaker 1:

Really.

Speaker 3:

I really tried to look up the history of Time Left and there's not really didn't say when it was started. Of course it's out of Paris, france, but it's just basically they wanted to get people together in a social atmosphere with no cell phones and just very general questions that you can go around the table and answer and just meet people you would never, ever think of meeting in your life, right, Right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and they do have conversation starter questions and I did screenshot a few of those. But basically you sign up and you answer these very broad questions about yourself. They have dinners every Wednesday at different locations throughout the area where you live. So you sign up, you pick a specific date and and then they don't tell you. You pick a specific date and then they don't tell you where you're meeting until the morning of the dinner. So you don't know, see and I, so I had signed up for it. I signed up for it a while ago, after we had spoke to you previously. I signed up with another friend of ours and then the day of, we found out that we weren't going to the same restaurant. We both decided but it was primarily me, I kind of bailed that I just didn't want to do it.

Speaker 3:

You weren't ready, right.

Speaker 2:

I was like okay never mind, I really wanted to go with a friend and experience it, but I didn't want to go by myself. So then I thought, okay, I do want to go by myself, I want to experience it. So I signed up and we went last Wednesday. I went last Wednesday and I was talking to Nina about it and she signed up for Wednesday as well.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay, and you went to different restaurants.

Speaker 2:

Unfortunately, again we were provided different locations, different restaurants.

Speaker 3:

Okay were provided different locations, different restaurants. Okay, there's really no way that you can ask for the same restaurant, because it's based, of course, on your information and your algorithm. So you know, Tracy might have something completely different on her profile than I do on mine. Plus, our age difference is different.

Speaker 1:

Right than I do on mine.

Speaker 3:

Plus, our age difference is different and so you know, I mean I'm sure it does the best it can. When I went to my first one, I was at a table with people that were younger than my daughter. I don't think I was sitting at the correct table, but the table that was next to us were people my own age. I was full when I got there, and that's fine. And I did put that in my review, but there's not much they can do about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

So you know, you just kind of sit with the people that if you're table one or table two, Right. And this last time there were older people, they were probably in their 50s. Okay, so it was closer to my age.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so there's really no guarantee. Yeah, it would be great if you could go with your friends, but the whole idea is to go with people you don't know and to meet new people. I get it.

Speaker 2:

I get it, but I think a lot of times, especially women would want to have a friend to support you to go with you on it. But um so my experience on Wednesday was so number one. I found out the restaurant and I was busy at work when it came down and I didn't have a chance to look it up and I wasn't familiar with it. It was a sushi restaurant?

Speaker 1:

Oh, I don't eat sushi and you don't eat sushi, which is fine.

Speaker 2:

But I'd had a very long stressful day, and maybe I don't even think I had lunch, and now, all of a sudden, I wasn't going to have dinner because I have such finicky taste.

Speaker 1:

Well, you eat pasta, don't you? I mean you can get like noodles, right, right, I was trying to look at the menu.

Speaker 2:

But I ended up eating at home and I thought maybe I'll just have a cocktail and maybe order something you know light from the menu. But so mine was a sushi restaurant and Nina's, where did you? What was your restaurant? My restaurant was a vietnamese restaurant. Wow right, how did you find the cuisine? Were you? Because I know we were both like and oh well, their menu was huge a little teeny place downtown um, and I ended up having this amazing meal.

Speaker 1:

Wow.

Speaker 3:

It was steak and rice and onions and mushrooms and it was absolutely delicious, expensive, but really good.

Speaker 1:

So did they ask what kind of cuisines you prefer?

Speaker 2:

Yes, Okay okay, which I was surprised. I clearly would have never put sushi Right, or probably even seafood, because I really there's only a few things that I do like of seafood. But you like fried shrimp?

Speaker 1:

they have right, yes, yeah, shrimp and certain things, but not.

Speaker 2:

You know the whole gamut. But yes, they do ask you that um is one of the questions that they ask you. And then the area right, you also get to pick. I don't remember was there. I feel like there were three different areas. Maybe there was.

Speaker 3:

Midtown Downtown. I know they had Midtown and Downtown. So two Somebody was saying there was Scottsdale, but I don't remember ever seeing Scottsdale in there.

Speaker 1:

I'm surprised they don't have the East Valley either. I mean, Phoenix is such a huge area.

Speaker 3:

That was one of the things that I had put in my suggestions okay meet somebody in the far east valley um and not being able to contact anybody to say, hey, you know why aren't you expanding? This yeah, yeah you're, because I drive from mesa all the way into phoenix yeah, that's a hall which is a very it's what 20, 30 miles.

Speaker 2:

For those who aren't familiar with our area, yeah, yeah, but the restaurant was really nice.

Speaker 3:

Um, not good parking, but I did get a parking space yeah, that's the drawback of downtown yeah, a little tiny place downtown, um, but it was really nice. We only had five people at our table, though there was somebody a no six in person, yeah, yeah, the table next to us was full. They had six people there and they were the younger crowd.

Speaker 1:

Okay, the younger. And is it a good mix of male and female?

Speaker 3:

68% of the people who go to these dinner with strangers are women. Wow, so we had four women and one man wow first time there was four women, three, there's two men. There are seven of us actually. Oh, okay so there were four women and two men, uh-huh wow so I think it's female based right, but you see the pictures on the, the app itself and there's a mixture. So I guess it would depend on the country you're in.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, right, and the city, the area and, like you said, there was an empty chair. So, and the first time when I signed up, I declined the day of, so there was probably an empty chair there as well, and something funny and important that you had told me, nina, is that if you do a no-show what is it? Three times, then they block you.

Speaker 1:

Oh no, oh no, yeah. So do you get to see who you're going to dinner with? Okay, you're surprised when you get there.

Speaker 2:

They do provide you a snapshot the morning of about it provides industries, right. So? And I was looking at it and I thought, well, media and social media must be me, but so it'll say that and it'll also provide astrological signs of those that you are meeting. Was there anything else that they told us about? I can't remember. Those are the two, can't remember.

Speaker 3:

Those are the two that I remember. No, that was it. Those are the two categories, but mine were not working, which was me.

Speaker 1:

Oh, okay, instead of retired.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, we had an issue with that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Because it was funny, because we brought that up at the table and a lady that was sitting across me.

Speaker 2:

She goes yeah. She says that's not really very nice, is it? And I said no right, I worked my whole life. I want to be retired Right Right.

Speaker 1:

Not working is very different than retired.

Speaker 3:

Descriptions of what everybody does, and so of course you have no idea who that person is. Right, and but it's really interesting because you know, sometimes people have jobs that you wouldn't even think are jobs.

Speaker 1:

Wow.

Speaker 3:

And yeah, so how was yours Tracy?

Speaker 2:

So mine was very interesting. So mine was at a sushi restaurant. It was at the Biltmore, which is a very upscale mall and area. The restaurant was upscale and also when you're signing up, in selecting uh, you know your cuisine and different things, it gives you the number of dollar signs. So you can, okay, where, right, if you want to spend whatever. I don't remember three, we'll just say for the purpose of this conversation it was three dollar signs, two dollar signs or one, yeah, right, and I probably picked two. So it was a sushi restaurant I go in. It starts at seven, so you're not in a happy hour crowd or anything. Okay, there were two tables. I was seated at table two, which was the younger table.

Speaker 2:

Oh no, there were three females and three males. The men had to be maybe early 30s and I'm probably being generous with that, but I have such a hard time judging people's ages and didn't know you don't know anymore, right, but um, clearly I was the oldest one there and, interestingly enough, our table too was.

Speaker 2:

So it was on a strip where the back is booth seating and then there's chairs around it. Oh yeah, so they were. The table was directly next to each other, okay, um, and there were six people there. It was four women and two men. Were they older?

Speaker 2:

they were slightly older, but I would say maybe early 40s. Oh wow, I know which my oldest daughter is. Like you were saying, nina, my oldest daughter is 42, so they were probably younger than she is, but I just didn't feel a connection. I wasn't comfortable. I honestly, I kind of dressed up, and when I say kind of, I didn't wear heels, I just wore these clunky black kind of the hiking boot, you know that style um, and a kind of a dressy sweater, but I did put mascara on, which is huge for me because I haven't

Speaker 2:

worn makeup since COVID, but I thought let's just give it a little something. You know, and that was my little something. The conversation was kind of awkward. We didn't do the questions, but I did fumble through my phone on it because we talked about it and and, like I said, I did do some screenshots of the questions and I think it would be. They're good conversation starters and I think that's kind of what it's about. So I ended up not really having a connection, you know, with my table. I didn't, but also I think it's important to say that I was really kind of having a bad day that day and I kind of didn't want to go.

Speaker 2:

I really weren't feeling it I wasn't feeling it, but I kind of forced myself to go, which oftentimes you have a good time once you get there.

Speaker 1:

You're happy you did it. Yeah, right.

Speaker 2:

Or happy you did it at the end. I'm still happy that I did it. I think I would try to do it again. But my concern is and I was so curious and I wouldn't talk to Nina about it until our show today because her previous experience there weren't anyone, you know, in her age compatible with her age and I felt that way with mine. And also, even if I was to go for somebody younger which I'm not really a cougar um, I wasn't really attracted to anybody. Yeah, that was there at either of the tables, right, um, I don't know, I I just feel that it it may not be suited for somebody that is in our age group, over 55.

Speaker 1:

So obviously at the end they ask about your experience and you get to leave a review right, mm-hmm, okay, and would you try it again? I?

Speaker 2:

would try it again.

Speaker 1:

Okay, because I wonder if they really they look at your review and they take that into consideration the next time they place you. You know, maybe Cause it sounds like your experience the second time was better, Nina, Correct.

Speaker 3:

I mean, the first time was fine.

Speaker 1:

Right, but it was younger, a younger crowd.

Speaker 3:

The restaurant I was at was really loud. So, one end of the table ended up talking to each other, and then the other end, because we just couldn't hear over the crowd. But this restaurant wasn't noisy because it was so small, and so we were able to converse with everybody. And the thing is, I'm just doing it to do something different.

Speaker 3:

You know one of the things I was reading the information on Time Left was the fact that you know people put their cell phones down. They connect you know visually with someone you know. They learn, learn about you know a new, a new career.

Speaker 1:

I mean I sat the first time I sat with a woman who was a food photographer. Wow.

Speaker 3:

You know, it's like really.

Speaker 1:

That's a job.

Speaker 3:

There was a gentleman that was a couple people down and he was an introvert and he came to this to try something new, To pull himself out and for me, it's just. I worked from home for three years.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 3:

And I like people and I don't have any problem talking to people at all. Trace will tell you that, yeah, she's wonderful, very personable For me it was just an experience that I wanted to try and so. But the people that were at my table on Wednesday were lovely and, you know, got to meet somebody who was in the military and a woman and who was a nurse and a financial planner.

Speaker 3:

So not that I'll ever see them again, but if I did connect with someone to have lunch with, you can do that on the app.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I was going to say you can follow up, and if it's a mutual connection, then you they'll yeah, so you can do it within the app.

Speaker 1:

You don't have to give your phone number out right away. Okay.

Speaker 3:

Correct, correct, correct. Like I say, it's not a dating app, it's just, you know, dinner with strangers. But if you happen to make a connection with someone, that's great. You know cause you're always trying to meet people Right. And um so great you know, because you're always trying to meet people Right, and so you know. But if you didn't feel like it was for you, then you don't have to do it. Oh, I'll do it again, Not this year, but I'll do it again.

Speaker 2:

Will you do it again, tracy? I will Probably again, not this year, only because it's the end of.

Speaker 1:

November, we're getting into the holidays.

Speaker 2:

Right, yeah, yeah the holidays and stuff. So but definitely I would do it again, I think I was money.

Speaker 3:

I mean it's not cheap. Yes it's yeah, they take you to. You know, they pick really nice restaurants. It's funny because the price of the meal is in pounds. Kind of funny, that is funny and um, but you know I only bought an individual wednesday and each city has its own amount. It's not the same across the board. So mine was 16 dollars, which is fine. You know, somebody's gotta do the work.

Speaker 1:

You know, set up the restaurant okay, so you pay to to go just to go okay there's two options, though, because I paid for?

Speaker 2:

yes, right, I did the monthly subscription okay, which I believe was twenty dollars. Um, bless you. It might have been twenty nine dollars, but I believe it was twenty dollars. Okay, for mine it was a little bit higher. It allows you to go.

Speaker 3:

You can go every week if you want, yeah every week wow every week and it's Wednesdays only, which I'm sure they do, just because Wednesdays aren't that busy at restaurants right well, not for, not for metropolitan area no, right it doesn't matter, the restaurants are full yeah, yeah, in the city they are.

Speaker 1:

So have you found, and maybe this didn't come up, but do most of the people do it often, or were a lot of them first timers?

Speaker 3:

One person was a first timer.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

One person. It was their fourth time.

Speaker 1:

Wow.

Speaker 3:

And the rest of us were two times Okay.

Speaker 2:

It was our second time Okay, time okay yeah, I had a lot of first timers and a couple people that had been there like three times. Okay, I think one person had been there fourth time using it.

Speaker 1:

So so I wonder if the ones that are doing it more often, I wonder if they've had connections ever and made friends or potential, you know, partners.

Speaker 3:

Wasn't a question that they brought up, but that's a good question. The next time we do that to ask them.

Speaker 1:

I'm just curious, have they made any friends?

Speaker 3:

Meet someone that you're friends with now you know whatever, so but yeah, that's very interesting because in the information that I pulled up it doesn't really say Right.

Speaker 1:

I wonder what the statistics are, even globally, though, Like you know, because you hear about people meeting and getting married they met on a dating app, you know like I'm curious to know.

Speaker 3:

But they stress it's not a dating app, right, right.

Speaker 1:

But I'm curious to know yeah, a friend, yeah, you know? Know how many connections have really been made through this? Obviously it's still going, so it's successful in some form. But maybe more than that, people are just doing it to get out of the house right now right, so yeah, and I haven't given them my feedback yet.

Speaker 3:

Um, I wanted to think about it because it's going to be extensive, good, good, well it sounds like it should be.

Speaker 1:

I mean, there's a lot of things that they could really work on and narrow in on. As far as placing you and you know, I'm curious to know how many people over the age of 55 are actually on there.

Speaker 2:

I would really like to know that as well. And I think that would be one of the reasons that would deter me from going back to it. Right, I did try something else P-E-A-R, p-e-a-r, ring R-I-N-G, and it was a kind of a social thing too. But they send you a plastic ring. It was blue, and you're supposed to wear it out, so that it would signify to people.

Speaker 2:

And they also had events. I only went to one, but everybody there was younger. So I'm just trying to find something where I would feel more comfortable, and it's more, with people similar to my age, um, whether it be female or male. But honestly, I was there more to try to find um someone to date, to be, honest I love my friends and I and I'm blessed to have friends, but I can definitely see how you know it would be beneficial to both genders.

Speaker 2:

Um, just to socialize right, just to socialize Right, just to socialize Right and just to get out of the house, like you said, which is seemingly very difficult for me these days because I am still working remote.

Speaker 1:

Well, yeah, I think it is for a lot of people, especially for people that work remote, because you don't have that human interaction. You get into this rut of like being home and it's almost a chore to go out, yeah, but it's necessary emotionally, mentally it's necessary, and so you, you do kind of have to push yourself to do it like, okay, I'm actually going to get dressed today and put some mascara on right, because when you were in an office, you did that every day.

Speaker 3:

So if you had an event or you would be more likely to say, yeah, I'll stop by, but you're home. And not that I didn't get up and do my hair and makeup every day I did, but by the end of the day I didn't want to go. I just wanted to go to my couch.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you shut the computer down and cook dinner and sit on the couch yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

And for me, my friends that I have, they would never do this kind of thing, but for me you know you've got great stories to tell yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely. But I think for me I need to, because I am a senior, um, to look for some kind of meeting for people my my own age, right, um, and you know, and I know there are them out there, but I just thought it was intriguing that you, you can go to dinner with some strangers.

Speaker 1:

Strangers yeah, I love the concept.

Speaker 2:

And they help you engage in conversation as well. So for introverts or people that are extremely shy or just kind of uncomfortable and not knowing what to say, Let me read a couple of the screen. I took a gazillion screenshots. There's just a ton of them. But what's your favorite way to relax after a long day?

Speaker 1:

So that's a good one.

Speaker 2:

And I'm going to skip that one, cause it's about karaoke. I don't do karaoke. Share a funny or embarrassing childhood memory and I like humor, so I could more probably relate to that. Um, what's a piece of advice? You and I like humor, so I could more probably relate to that. What's a piece of advice you'd give your younger self?

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that's a really good one.

Speaker 2:

A little deep. I thought maybe, but what is one thing about you that would surprise people most? Another good one, but just things like that. So they do provide you with some conversation starters, but they only allow one person at the table to have their cell phone to utilize this To do that.

Speaker 2:

And it's about 15 minutes in. I was actually early and I only stayed about an hour. I didn't, and I text Nina when I left. I'm like heading home. I had one drink but I was also driving, yeah, so I didn't want to stay long or have multiple cocktails, um, although I feel like the one cocktail I had was at least two, two and a half cocktails because it was um all, I was like rum and coke and it was very, very little splash of coke and I was able to sip on it the whole time.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think I mean I'm with you guys. I think that they really need to be better at pairing you with people that have similar interests, similar, you know, as close to your age group as possible, because that's where a lot of the conversation comes organically, because you have more things in common. You're not going to have your if you're 62 years old. You're not going to have very many things in common with a 32 year. Things in common You're not going to have if you're 62 years old. You're not going to have very many things in common with a 32-year-old, right, you know so. Or I have a child. That's your age, right, and that's just. It's hard to have organic conversation when you don't have a lot in common. You know, I 100% agree.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, but I would still do it, no matter what. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I would still do it no matter what, yeah, yeah, it's fun next year and I will go maybe once a month. Yeah, um, just to have the experience.

Speaker 3:

Well, but then your odds get better too of being paired with, you know maybe with feedback um you know they might expand to the east valley and yeah, you know when they're putting together. They're only limited to the people that sign up Right. So I think, they're doing the best job they can when it comes to pairing you with. You know the people Now, everybody at my table, except for one person who just moved here a couple of years ago. They've been here for, you know, 40 years.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 3:

So they grew up with me when Phoenix and Tempe and Scottsdale and. Mesa were all just little baby baby.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 3:

Right. So we did have that in common where you know we we went to Metro center and you know we went to. Asu games and stuff like that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we went to Metro center and you know we went to ASU games and stuff like that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, the Cardinals played at ASU. Yeah, yes, yeah, and so that was fine. They were old enough that they, you know, grew up here, but that wasn't something that we talked about in the first time I went.

Speaker 2:

Okay, probably because it was a lot younger. They were a lot younger.

Speaker 3:

But, like I said, it was so loud we just kind of separated our tables and then we got to a few questions after the noise level went down. You know, like, if you could be any animal, what would it be? Why? Just you know questions like that. We had some really cool questions about. You know, would you want to go back to non-technology days, or do you like technology?

Speaker 3:

wow everybody had a different answer yeah and um. So it's just kind of fun to see how people, what people, how people think about certain things that you know, you know you wouldn't go up and say, hey, you know. Do you like technology now?

Speaker 2:

Just randomly. Yeah, it's organically.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, thrown out there. And so yeah, I mean I would definitely continue to do it.

Speaker 2:

Oh God, and we want to hear the success. I think I will too. Maybe, like you said, that's a great idea. Maybe once a month do it and we can always talk about it again after our next one, maybe sometime after the first of the year.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but I love hearing about it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for joining us again today, nina. It's always a pleasure to have you on our show. Yes, love you to death and we will talk soon.

Speaker 3:

Okay, sounds good.

Speaker 1:

Well, that wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining us on let's Talk Midlife Crisis. We hope you got some laughs, a little inspiration and maybe a few new ideas, if you loved today's episode.

Speaker 2:

Hit the subscribe button so you can never miss an episode. And hey, share the love. Send this episode to a friend who could use a good laugh and some midlife wisdom.

Speaker 1:

Please also connect with us on social media at let's Talk Midlife Crisis and let us know what's on your mind. We love hearing from you.

Speaker 2:

Until next time, keep thriving, keep laughing and keep embracing every crazy, wonderful minute of this midlife adventure.

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