When Politics End Friendships

What happens when politics come between friendships that have stood the test of time? Join us as we, Ashley and Traci, share the personal and emotional strain that recent political divisions have placed on our 26-year friendship. We reflect on the broader societal trend of social media unfriending and confrontations, revealing the complexities of maintaining respect and understanding amidst differing political views. Our conversation is a candid exploration of how offensive remarks and entrenched beliefs can touch personal lifestyles and test the strength of relationships, while also serving as a reminder of the importance of holding onto democratic values.

As we navigate the stormy waters of political discourse, we question the role of technology and misinformation in shaping beliefs and reactions to political events. With Elon Musk’s Starlink entering the voting arena and misinformation running rampant, we tackle the anxiety it brings and the consequences on personal and societal divides. The longing for authentic leadership and the frustration with negative political tactics underscore our discussion, as we ponder why political funds aren't addressing critical social issues like hunger and homelessness. Through our stories, we encourage reflection on how recent elections have impacted friendships and family dynamics, and stress the importance of empathy and open dialogue in a polarized world.

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Chapters

• 0:02 Impact of Recent Election on Relationships
• 9:16 Impact of Beliefs on Relationships
• 21:20 Navigating Political Differences in Relationships

Transcript

Ashley: 0:02

Welcome to let's Talk Midlife Crisis.

Traci: 0:05

I'm Ashley and I'm Tracy, we're your go-to hosts for all things midlife menopause and moments of pure mayhem.

Ashley: 0:14

Whether you're navigating hot flashes, chasing new passions or just trying to remember why you walked into a room.

Traci: 0:20

We got you. Every week we bring you tips, real-life life stories and expert advice to help you laugh, learn and thrive through this wild midlife journey. And we're on wdj yfm 99.1 every monday morning at9 am. So to all our atl listeners, thank you for in.

Ashley: 0:43

So grab your favorite drink and settle in for some laughs and insight. You're in good company.

Traci: 0:51

And today we're going to talk about the recent presidential election and how it has affected you or any of the relationships that you have. And it's specific to us and it's personal to us because I think one of our relationships very long term longer for you double than for me. I actually met you through this individual through her. But our relationship has been very much impacted by the difference of opinion that we have over this recent presidential election, and I feel like it's not just us.

Ashley: 1:35

Oh, I'm seeing it everywhere and it's it's really crazy. You know there's a lot of people you know unfollowing or unfriending on social media based off, you know, material that they're sharing or things that they're saying and just simply disagreeing. It's a lot of things that are being shared are very offensive.

Ashley: 1:58

And it's not just like a simple comment, or a lot of the stuff is actually very offending, regardless of who you favor, which party you are or any of that, and so I think that's why a lot of that's happening. Um, you know this I I've never seen our country so divided, so divided and so passionate over, you know, the division.

Traci: 2:24

Yeah, yeah, for one person or the other there's a lot of passion in this this time, but differences are what is democracy is based upon right, right is, and what america is based upon is democracy and to allow us to have different opinions, um, right and the freedom of speech, which is sad that sometimes it's like nails on a chalkboard, or worse.

Ashley: 2:50

Yeah, I, like I said I, I've never seen the passion from people that I'm seeing now and I unfortunately, I feel like it's made a lot of people more aggressive and expressing themselves yes, and not in a good way Almost, you know, like attacking, which is what happened with me recently, Actually us Because, again Us, it did.

Traci: 3:19

There was a group chat, all of us, yeah.

Ashley: 3:21

We're on there chat?

Traci: 3:29

Yeah, we're on there, and even though, even if you weren't on that thread of text, I was truly offended to my core. But yes, it was against you.

Ashley: 3:34

Yeah, it's just really interesting, you know, and I think it's happening with a lot of families too, but this was someone that I considered family Um, we've, you know, had our friendship for 26 years. Um, not always agreed on the same things was never really an issue until about eight years ago, um, and it just um became something that was kind of changed our friendship and the dynamic and, honestly, I think for me there was a lack of respect, because I feel like a lot of this person's beliefs were really pushed aggressively on us, not necessarily to change our mind, but just the way it was delivered and comments that were made and and, quite honestly, a lot of things were very offensive as far as my lifestyle. I have a female partner and things like that were just you know kind of yeah.

Ashley: 4:39

But I just kind of, you know, played it off. Like I said, she was family to me. I played it off, but I did, for a very many, many, many years, walk on eggshells yes, many years and this last interaction was kind of what just pushed me over the edge and I was like I, regardless of how long the friendship has been or if they're family or if they're honestly just an acquaintance, I don't need that in my life. I made a comment that was triggering that, yeah, maybe I probably shouldn't have said what I said. It was nothing directed at anybody and, quite honestly, it was not even a matter of opinion. It was maybe, maybe a portion of it was, but but most of what I said was factual, um, and it, the response, the way it affected her, was just alarming, very alarming.

Traci: 5:37

The way that she came at me and the things that she was sharing were very disturbing and, um, I don't want to really be around anyone that treats anyone like that, let alone a friend of 26 years, and I've been struggling, more so recently, but it's been going on for a while not for four years, as you mentioned and this person was actually a part of our community that we talk so much about. Yeah, why we felt one of the reasons why we felt that it was uh important to talk about it openly um, because we feel like it's probably happening across the united states all over, I'm sure so, and possibly globally honestly, honestly laughing, because I don't care who you believe in but there could be people that that don't really go for.

Ashley: 6:28

you know what I mean. There could be people that don't really go for it. You know what I mean. There could be, you know, republican supporters outside of our country, right so? But I am.

Traci: 6:35

I think it's important to note that I am a Republican. Yes, you are, I've always been a Republican. So I don't even feel that this election in all of my life and I have just been trying to figure this out Like what is it about this election that gives me so much anxiety and it's making people crazy? And it's making people crazy. I've been voting for, you know, I'm 58 years old, I've been voting forever and I love the you know option and the freedom and the ability to be able to vote and democracy, and I've not always had my candidate win and I have always had opposing parties or beliefs, even within my inner circles, right Right. Even within my household, right Right, you know. But for some reason, this last election has just divided not only our country, but it's divided households, it's divided friendships, and I just want to know more. I want to know why that is. Why is it so upsetting to me? I have people that voted both parties that we still can get along, right.

Ashley: 7:54

We're fine.

Traci: 7:55

And I understand in some cases. I understand I have a friend that voted for Trump. She's a Republican, but she's also very religious, a heavy Catholic, and her reasoning was over the abortion situation, which is a religious thing for her, which is a religious thing for her and I have no problem with that and I respect her for that Um we all have the freedom to write.

Traci: 8:21

We do but it's not like we can't get along. It's not like we can't go have brunch and carry on a conversation without feeling like you're walking we should be able to, yeah yeah, so we want to hear from you how has this election affected?

Ashley: 8:39

your household if it has, yeah, if it has or your friendships or your friendships, relationships, your household um?

Traci: 8:46

I know that trump's first presidency broke up marriages. It was what I've heard yeah right, um, and I was honestly with that election. I was in shock, like okay, um, I didn't vote in that election there was nobody that I wanted to see yeah win on the ballot, so I didn't vote the next election I did, and then apparently my vote didn't count.

Ashley: 9:13

You know, we get an election of them too. That's what we're told.

Traci: 9:16

But this year, what is interesting and I will mention this and again, we encourage your feedback Elon Musk owns Starlink. Starlink was the Wi-Fi service for all of the voting facilities. Isn't that interesting?

Ashley: 9:34

nobody's talking about that, yeah there's a lot of things that are very interesting a lot of things that are very interesting, regardless of whether or not there's any, you know, but we're not going to go down the road that you know, the last four years have been like the election was fake and all that kind of stuff.

Traci: 9:49

We're not here to dispute the election results, I'm just saying that's a pretty interesting it is what it is.

Ashley: 9:54

If it happened, I hope it comes, you know, to the surface and is handled and managed well. Um, my, I think, like you said, why am I feeling so anxious? I think that's my biggest issue right now, too is why is it so important to people that they feel the need to attack, or you know what I mean. Like I, to me it's like okay, we have our differences, we we've had several of those. I don't understand that type of reaction. I don't understand I I. It makes me sick to see some of the stuff that's being posted, the memes and the.

Ashley: 10:33

It's just, it's disgusting and I don't understand why people feel the need to do that and people are creating fake profiles everything is so that they can share this kind of information and hide behind their computer because they don't want to anyone to know who's sharing it. They don't want to. You know they they. I guess they like to stir things up. I don't want to anyone to know who's sharing it. They don't want to. You know they, they. I guess they like to stir things up. I don't know that is a good point it's. Why do people create a fake?

Traci: 10:58

profile um to hide behind when they stand yeah, why not be proud?

Ashley: 11:04

why not be proud and just? So persistent on what they're saying is the truth, because clearly the stuff that's being shared is very disturbing.

Traci: 11:12

Very disturbing.

Ashley: 11:13

So why else would you want to hide, right, you know Right. So, yeah, I just don't get it. I think it's a sickness. I think it's terrible that people have become so violent and aggressive. I love passion, I love passionate people. I get that. I feel that way about a lot of things. I get that I feel that way about a lot of things. I get very passionate, you do.

Traci: 11:38

but I don't ever want to inflict my beliefs on someone because I think they're wrong, so aggressive, or I'm right over them.

Ashley: 11:41

You know, or I'm it just or I'm uneducated. You know you're uneducated. Let me teach you what's that's. That is very offensive and what is really interesting to me right now what's true information, what's false information and how do you decide what is true?

Traci: 11:58

you go on the dark web. There's so many conspiracy theorists out there now you go on the dark web.

Ashley: 12:03

Everything there is true exactly and yet know.

Traci: 12:07

What is clear and definite as being the truth is disregarded. I think people are creating their own content and their own realities.

Ashley: 12:16

I mean, we're utilizing the web to research information and, yes, a lot of that can be one sided, depending on where you're looking, what you're reading. It doesn't matter whether it's you know the internet, whether it's dark web, whatever it is. You're going to believe, what you want to believe, based off your, your belief system, your morals the things that you hold dear.

Traci: 12:41

That's what you're going to believe. That's all I'm about. Morals and values and what you hold dear and what makes me happy and feel good. Honestly, absolutely like. This is disturbing that they're throwing out the quality um.

Ashley: 12:55

You know, just love your neighbor, right take care of each other. It doesn't matter what, what side you're on or what you believe. You can be passionate about it without attacking right and without making someone feel like they don't know what the fuck they're talking about right, you know and they're right, and without making someone feel like they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.

Traci: 13:11

Right, you know and they're right and there's no other. There's.

Traci: 13:14

You know it's so one-sided, it's so tunnel vision that there's no opportunity to for rational conversation or to rationalize any other beliefs or thoughts other than you know what a specific person thinks and in its regards to either side I've always tried to be very open-minded right and think well you know always just well what if, and have that open-mindedness to hear other people's opinions, right, um, to be able to form my own opinion to something that I feel aligns with what I believe is true, right, what is factual and what aligns with my morals and values.

Ashley: 14:01

It's about respect and respecting other people, yeah.

Traci: 14:04

So has the recent election? Has it affected your household at all? Has it affected any relationships that you have? Are you trying to avoid certain people? I know after this election it felt like everything was pretty quiet for like the first week. Right From both sides that everybody was very quiet and it was kind of eerie. But I think For some people it was like a gut punch, it was like a shock. It was shocking, it was very shocking and we can just say it. We are not Trump supporters. I've been a Republican for my entire adult life.

Traci: 14:47

I don't support you know, and the only reason I'm not is because I want to be able to vote in the primaries.

Ashley: 14:52

I know, yeah, so that's the only reason I was always Democrat. Then I I just had to go independent, and I have.

Traci: 14:57

but we can have a rational discussion right absolutely between the two, and I don't think this last election with trump had anything to do with the public, republican or democrat um, I feel that it was, and perhaps correct us if we're wrong, but I feel that it has a lot to do with individual morals and values and what you believe in um, and whether or not you can hold somebody you know with dignity and integrity, and and that wants to create unity and equality.

Traci: 15:34

Trump is a liar. I think even his own supporters will agree with that right. He is a liar. He lied and said, or he lied about the ohio eaten animals thing right like, which is so out there I don't know.

Ashley: 15:48

I mean there's, there's literally video which some people will say it's fake um of jd vance confessing, yes, that things were made up right, that they were made literally there are people that still will argue yeah, you know to their last dying breath that that was true.

Traci: 16:07

Yeah, um, and immigrants. We are a country built on immigrants yes, right and all of us at some point in our ancestry line came from another country. That's just what America is Right yeah.

Ashley: 16:21

We wouldn't exist if I get it.

Traci: 16:22

You know, the Mexican border, all of the other immigrants. I understand that to a degree, but also I'm impacted by what the effects were. We all will be, by what the effects were. We all will be. I am already, we are already affected by the effects of the mass deportation, not to mention those poor children in those cages that we saw you can't get that out of your mind but also in the higher prices of things. Oh yeah.

Traci: 16:53

Absolutely as an example, in Arizonazona there was a huge chain of car washes that hired undocumented immigrants. There was a very low cost to have your car fully washed. Hard workers during the heat of 122 degrees never faltered, never, and did a very, very good job.

Ashley: 17:16

Yeah.

Traci: 17:16

I tell you what Danny's car wash bankrupted after the mass deportation, Deportation. And not to say that it's right or wrong, I'm just saying in my mind I look at things how it affects me, yeah.

Ashley: 17:30

As a person.

Traci: 17:30

I think we all do how it affects me, so I'm not getting the good service. Prices are going up. These are all effects of the immigration deportation right, not tariffs. Tariffs come down the road and those are not even even tariffs.

Ashley: 17:47

That had happened four years ago right, affecting us now years and years ago. Right, it's a trickle effect.

Traci: 17:53

It's a trickle effect so it's a trickle effect.

Ashley: 17:54

So I think too, though for me, you know, I do look at things and kind of form an opinion based on how it affects me personally, but not always. I've been asked before why I feel so strongly about, you know, the rights that are being taken from transgenders. You know why do you feel so strongly? That doesn't affect you personally, Right? Well, no, the. The rights that are being taken from transgenders, Um, you know why do you feel so strongly? That doesn't affect you personally. Well, no, it doesn't. But I don't like to see anyone lose their rights. I don't like to see women lose their rights. I don't like to see transgenders lose their rights. I, I don't like to see that. I, that's where I see division and we're going backwards. You know it's. It's just really disheartening to me to see that, and it doesn't affect me directly, right?

Traci: 18:44

truly, yeah but it does because you are passionate about it.

Ashley: 18:49

And there's the thing about freedom, and I think there's a lot of homophobia that's going on now, absolutely there's a lot of homophobia that's going on now, absolutely, and that's one thing I was going to say too White supremacy, right, a lot of the you know, minority groups are being affected by a lot of the things that are happening. And, you know, being LGBTQ is a minority group and, yeah, that scares me because of what I'm seeing happen already just to women alone and, you know, immigrants, transgenders, things like that. That of course I'm, am I next, you know?

Traci: 19:28

so, yeah, of course my mind goes there, yeah there's just a lot of emotions, I think, driven in all directions. That's creating a lot of anxiety around this most recent election, and there's a statement that was actually sent to us in a group chat that was very offensive that we're not a serious country and regular people are suffering as a result. Who are regular people?

Ashley: 20:03

Yeah, who are regular people. What does that mean exactly what?

Traci: 20:06

does that mean exactly?

Ashley: 20:09

This was a very several paragraphs of ranting, Ranting yeah. So we could pick at that all day.

Traci: 20:16

We could, we could, and it actually fueled us enough to share our opinions out to the world. And again, we do want to hear from you, because we know it's not just us, we know that it's happening in all neighborhoods around the country, right, even globally. Let us know. What do you feel? How do you feel about the USA and the most recent election? I think we're losing credibility Absolutely, absolutely, with the world right now, but also in communities, because as you were driving around before the election, you would see yard signs for both.

Ashley: 20:55

Well, I had one in my yard that was I. Unfortunately my camera didn't catch it, but somebody stole it right out of my front yard, broad daylight right and it was happening, I think, on both sides of the aisle.

Traci: 21:05

I'm sure it was. It was happening on both sides of the aisle and I hate that they do that. Yeah, in other countries they just have more respectable election policies. I have a friend from from England and she's just. She was appalled, you know, when she came to America. Usually there's slam campaigns. This last campaign wasn't so bad, but honestly, I tried to get I, I tried to not listen to anything, watch anything that had to do with it. Um, you know any of the commercials, anything like that?

Ashley: 21:35

because it just it upsets me so much yeah just the raw, just us politicians altogether.

Traci: 21:43

I don't even like politics and the way that they just beat each other down like tell me what you believe in, spend the money. Instead of spending the money on media in your campaign, why don't you spend the money to improve things that need to be approved improved in America, like feeding hungry people? The homeless population is crazy yeah.

Ashley: 22:02

Um, it's all about power, that's. Yeah, that's what one was the one that wanted the power.

Traci: 22:08

That's true, that's true, I do.

Ashley: 22:09

You know the the banter in the debates. It's just really disturbing that you know somebody that immature and childish and totally focused on power is taking over and you know you talked about the immigrants being in the the cages and things like that, and you know the children.

Traci: 22:30

They separated the adult from the children, and this went on forever you know, and they talk about very news. You know it's just, it's not going to stop there no, it isn't going to stop there, and I think that you know, a lot of americans are scared by that, and I also think a lot of dem or republicans were scared by that too for some reason.

Ashley: 22:48

Yeah, you know, trump's a bully. There were a lot of republicans that didn't vote this time, right or voted for the other party there were campaigns for um, you know Republicans for Harris-Walls and, honestly, I wasn't.

Traci: 22:59

Even I don't know a lot about Kamala. I'm not a big fan, just because, maybe because I don't know enough about her. I was a huge fan of Tim Walz though. I really I watched the debates for the first time in my adult life from start to finish. Usually I would turn them on oh, wow, and you know, in my mind I would hold the question in my mind and wait for somebody to answer the question. Right, and they would never answer the question, so I would just turn the channel. I couldn't stand that, and so I did watch the debates this year and that's when I was really introduced to Tim Walls and he seemed like the guy next door, just a good old boy, um, and somebody that I really aligned with fond of and aligned with yeah, with morals and values, and he's like mind your own damn business, right, like what is that?

Traci: 23:55

try to push down all of this fake news. There's so much out there now that how do you decide what is real? Let's answer, you know what? Tell us on social media, put it in the chat. How do you decide what is real? Because that's what I'm struggling with right now. Um, okay, mainstream media, you know, maybe it's not credible, like it used to be.

Ashley: 24:20

Well, they're sharing what they want to share, Right, I mean? But that's just that's anything you find. Any newspaper you read Right, any website you go on, it doesn't matter. They're sharing what they want to share and some of them do have agendas and some of them don't, and politically affiliated with certain parties. I personally like to stick with NPR and BBC. Right yeah, and a lot of people do, a lot of smart people do, yeah.

Traci: 24:44

But it's the question that I keep asking and asking this person that we know, that has so horrifyingly offended us over this election and chose to do so over extended long-term friendships, is how do you decide what the truth is when there's so much out there, and if you're scouring for things on the dark web versus if it's on local news. I just want to know how do you decide what is true? Yeah, like you, I feel like people are creating their own narratives and it's very toxic and they're spreading it aggressively, aggressively. So how has it affected you has? Has it changed? Has there been a difference in your household of opinion over this past election? You know, did your spouse or partner not have the same views?

Traci: 25:46

as you because that's pretty interesting in the same house.

Ashley: 25:50

Yeah, you know, under the same union.

Traci: 25:51

My mom and stepdad, yeah yeah, right, and how do you make it work?

Ashley: 25:57

um, like I said, I do have friends that had voted, not the same that I did um, but we're still friends well, like I said, it comes down to respect, you know that's true, just respect dignity, right, integrity, yeah right, those types of things.

Traci: 26:14

But we do want to hear your comments. Please drop us a line in our chat and let us know what you think. How has this recent election, us election, affected you, and also globally? What do you think of the US? Has the recent election, has it changed your opinion at all, and what do you? How do you find your truth?

Ashley: 26:39

Well, that wraps it up for today. Thanks for joining us on let's Talk Midlife Crisis. We hope you got some laughs, a little inspiration and maybe a few new ideas, If you loved today's episode.

Traci: 26:51

Hit the subscribe button so you can never miss an episode. And hey, share the love. Send this episode to a friend who could use a good laugh and some midlife wisdom.

Ashley: 27:02

Please also connect with us on social media at let's Talk Midlife Crisis and let us know what's on your mind. We love hearing from you.

Traci: 27:10

Until next time, keep thriving, keep laughing and keep embracing every crazy, wonderful minute of this midlife adventure.