Episode 28: The Skeet Skeet Priest

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Transcript

Cold Open And Disclaimers

SPEAKER_13 0:00

Welcome to the table.

SPEAKER_09 0:01

Welcome.

SPEAKER_13 0:02

The opinions of this podcast are for entertainment purposes only. Our thoughts and views are not to be taken personally. It is not that serious.

SPEAKER_12 0:10

We are trained professionals at being regular ass people. If you can't take what we serving, this is not the table for you.

SPEAKER_13 0:18

Reservation denied. Enjoy the show. Watch your table.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

True, get the story. Let's stay outside. Hey. I remember those days when L was my home. When me and Mama Bed was a big piece of player never comb when Mama gonna work me the street for room. I remember when Danny back to the table. When I don't, I remember something I've been with stone and make him underflame.

SPEAKER_12 1:18

Everybody enjoy your days.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

I remember both A to Jamaica explode when I finity and tony you with them around the road.

SPEAKER_08 2:02

Like my wine don't come from a ball, it comes from a bottle. Let's know where I got to start it. I'm a steam with people stuff out with me. I'm a simple stuff, I'm not sure. I'm about to say something. Big up on the get a loop set or selling. Yes, can I walk money stuck up on a funny I've been scared? I feel me on the time any wear. Stinker, this done. But the most important thing.

SPEAKER_12 3:05

Oh my god, you'll get the best out of it.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Love it when we're the pundit.

SPEAKER_06 3:32

Let's go! Let them know what they're talking about.

SPEAKER_12 3:40

All right, well. It was like we got lowercase, mister Well, without the dot.

SPEAKER_14 3:51

What? Oh, I get you. Uh huh. I understood. I understood it now.

SPEAKER_09 3:59

And we should work on a table for three, like dot uh like tagline or something.

SPEAKER_14 4:09

Anyway, hello everybody. Welcome back to the table. I am Mister.

SPEAKER_12 4:14

If you're new to the show, I am long back Willie. Willie. It was Billy. It was not Billy, it was Willie. Bill is short, is another name for William. Yeah, but uh, we don't use that name. Oh, okay. Um aka that woman Nene.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

And I'm your boy Sean Anthony, also known as Titan Tommy.

SPEAKER_14 4:52

Luce McGovern. What?

SPEAKER_15 4:56

Luce McGovern?

SPEAKER_10 4:57

Wow. Anyway, everyone wanna know.

SPEAKER_14 5:03

Yo, it's one of those days. It's like I could say anything today. I just you do it. That is correct. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

Like, yeah, like he marry Mary. For a cat. For the last couple episodes, I've been on my best behavior.

SPEAKER_14 5:18

I I think.

SPEAKER_12 5:18

He said I said my last words yesterday. No, you didn't. No, yeah, I don't think so. What? I think I. Do you even know what that is?

SPEAKER_14 5:28

Yes. You sure? I'm ought to do it today. Lives. Best behavior. Anyway, how was everybody's uh week and uh weekend? Yeah. I mean, it was a beautiful, beautiful week.

SPEAKER_03 5:44

It was. It was actually a very, very nice week.

SPEAKER_14 5:46

The greatest weather.

SPEAKER_03 5:47

The weather was amazing. I was spectacular. I bet you enjoyed the weather. I bet you were sparkles. Sprinkled a little glitter. I was just about to no, but it was it was a nice week. The weather was nice. Work actually wasn't stressful.

SPEAKER_14 6:09

Not for me.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

A little bit.

SPEAKER_14 6:13

Really?

SPEAKER_03 6:14

But I got a story.

SPEAKER_12 6:17

I always have a story randomly. Well, here, here you go. Yeah, for about a coworker. But anyway, my week was great. Um, my daughter works like three minutes down the street. So she ain't got no windows. I ain't got no windows. And she was like, let's go outside. So we've been going outside all week. Nice. So we've been enjoying the weather. That's cool. Um great story. You ever no, no, no, I'm good to go. So, you know, I always have a good time, but then as soon as I go back into work, I get hit with information I don't think I needed.

SPEAKER_14 6:53

No, when you say you always have a good time. Yeah. What do you mean? Let's dive, let's dive into that.

SPEAKER_12 6:59

No, wait. I went to lunch, I ate, and I came back in dive.

SPEAKER_14 7:03

No, no, no. No. Nope, no, no. Go ahead, what's your story?

SPEAKER_03 7:07

I want to dive into the accent first.

SPEAKER_14 7:09

The accent?

SPEAKER_03 7:09

Yeah. I had an accent? Yes, you did. When you say you had a good time.

SPEAKER_04 7:21

I did. I did say it like that.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

I ain't even gonna touch on everything else.

The Colorectal Overshare At Work

SPEAKER_14 7:24

I know, because I I did that and fucked up the whole thing. I was like, if you got nip dab. Anyway. Oh my god. Go ahead. So you got back?

SPEAKER_12 7:33

So yes, I um got back in, do some work, and I get hit with the yeah, I'm about to um, I gotta get a colonoscopy, so I keep going in out of this bathroom because I gotta, you know, do this prep. And I'm like, you came to work to prep?

SPEAKER_14 7:51

Yo. Why did that person needed to have you?

SPEAKER_12 7:56

Exactly.

SPEAKER_14 7:57

Why is that person prepping at work?

SPEAKER_12 8:00

Exactly. I was baffled by it. And I literally asked this person.

SPEAKER_14 8:04

I said, 'cause she probably smells like shit. I and wanted to kind of give you an explanation why she smelled shit. Okay. Hall's was funky, but I was like, why would you come to work and we haven't noticed that I classify everybody as a she?

SPEAKER_03 8:27

Yeah, you do.

SPEAKER_14 8:28

I know that's why I'm just like they, they. But they smell like how to give explanation. You know, I'm like before you smile a little bit like, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

In case you're wondering, before you inquire, I just left my colon on the bathroom floor.

SPEAKER_12 8:48

Oh, seriously. And I'm probably gonna go back in there and leave a little bit more. Like, no. Then was like, yeah, I'm going to the hairdresser after, too, after I take this second part of the prep. What?

SPEAKER_09 9:00

What?

SPEAKER_12 9:02

How?

SPEAKER_03 9:04

Well, she probably just gonna sit in the chair at the hairdresser and just let it all out at the seat.

SPEAKER_14 9:09

Maybe later it's her schedule to shower.

SPEAKER_06 9:11

So it's like, what's that smell? Dookie.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

It's a shower schedule today.

SPEAKER_03 9:18

You know, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_12 9:20

Get it all done. I don't know why people just divulge that type of information. So you. Yeah, like just in general. Tell me just something normal. Like, yeah, I got my hair done and you know they fucked it up. It is normal. No, it ain't who that's normal for them.

SPEAKER_03 9:37

Having a colonoscopy.

SPEAKER_12 9:38

No, no, no, no. Oh, the prep. Talking about it. And then, like, why are you at work? Y'all are friends, aren't you? Hell nah. What the fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_14 10:13

I for you know. Gotta be some reason why she's divulging this uh Yeah, attention.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

But when I'm having my colonoscopy, I'm gonna call you on the table right before they knock me out. Yeah, you do that. Because his legs gonna be in the air.

SPEAKER_14 10:28

Why? His doctor, right?

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Why are my legs?

SPEAKER_14 10:33

Well, you get colonoscopies all the time. Certainly do not.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

Why would I need a colonoscopy all the time?

SPEAKER_04 10:49

Oh best behavior, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

Right out the door. Starting out with an age.

SPEAKER_14 10:56

Oh shit. I think this is my year to get a colonel. Yeah, you hit the age. Yeah, you did. I never had one before. Well, you weren't the age. Well, if you got one. No. Oh, I thought you just said you had one.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

I haven't hit the age.

SPEAKER_14 11:11

Oh. No, I said one of the. Oh, you had people of that age.

SPEAKER_05 11:15

You know he was setting you up for that. And you just was like, let me line these ducks up real quick.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Someone of that age is only a year different for me, so it doesn't even really hit the way you thought it did. Well, it did. No. You gotta be 45.

SPEAKER_14 11:33

I know, and you had him since how old were you when you started? Wow.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

How'd we get here? Wow, did you just say that I was sexually assaulted? No.

SPEAKER_14 11:46

I'm sure they wasn't doing the assaulting.

unknown 11:49

How'd we get here?

SPEAKER_14 11:51

I don't even know how we get here. I'm on my best behavior. He's on his best behavior on 911.

SPEAKER_12 11:57

Yeah. Is it appropriate, please? Alright, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 12:03

Was that the end of your story?

SPEAKER_12 12:05

Yes. I mean, you wanted me to go in more detail as she gave me out.

SPEAKER_14 12:10

She just kept collecting samples. That's disgusting. That is so nasty.

SPEAKER_12 12:14

That is so disgusting. You mean the job kept collecting samples? Okay, let's let's go.

SPEAKER_14 12:18

So that was that was how your week went. Oh, just that day.

SPEAKER_12 12:22

It was just it was l it was literally the other day. And then they were out. They were out the next day. So I was peaceful. Like I was there. Nobody else was there. So that was great.

SPEAKER_14 12:33

Yeah. Cool. It's a cool week. How was yours? You ain't work? No, I did work. It was my full week. Every day? Yeah, it's my full week today. Um today. Full week. Today. God damn it.

SPEAKER_06 12:45

Got up.

SPEAKER_05 12:45

Now we know the truth.

SPEAKER_14 12:48

Full week in one day. I mean, I took advantage of it. It's like I didn't do shit all weekend today. I did a week's worth of shit. It's worth it because I ain't do short shit today. I ain't doing shit today because I didn't. No.

SPEAKER_11 13:05

I mean I mean.

SPEAKER_03 13:08

But we go back. It seems like every every Friday there's a story of not doing it. We can go back three years' worth of time now.

SPEAKER_14 13:15

Exactly. Yeah, three years. Go us. Go us. No, I I I enjoyed the weather. I went out for a walk a couple of times, and okay. That's about it. And that the exercise. Didn't do nothing.

SPEAKER_10 13:28

Oh I gained pounds.

SPEAKER_12 13:32

Yeah. She walked to the end of the door, came back. Came back to a workload.

SPEAKER_14 13:39

Oh my god. No, it was cool. It was cool. I ain't got no really good stories. Uh no. Nah. Son doing good, family doing good, wife doing good.

SPEAKER_12 13:48

That's a surprise because you always got a date story.

SPEAKER_14 13:51

I know. I I I think my issue I had last week is is hasn't spared his uh or poked his head out, so I'm I'm cool with that.

SPEAKER_12 14:01

Oh yeah.

401k Withdrawals And Tax Reality

SPEAKER_14 14:02

I'm about to be like, what issue, but I remember now. Oh, uh uh, I did somebody's taxes. All right. Nice. Um get them some money. No. They didn't they didn't listen. They did not listen to me a year ago. Like it's it's something where it's like, yo, if I'm telling you, like, if you're look, don't take money out of your 401k if you're if you're not gonna roll it over. Because it's a very steep penalty if if you take it out too early. And it's going to apply to your income. And they did it. And they did it anyway. So I was like, well, if you're gonna do that, take some of it and still roll it over. That way, it's not gonna hit you for the whole amount as an income. And your penalty won't be as as much. Nope, they didn't do that. So they got hit with a heavy tax bill, and they was like, Well, I was like, my fee is this, your fee with the federals is that.

SPEAKER_12 15:07

How do people combat that urge when they know they don't got it to not buy? Like, like it's like they let their intrusive thoughts just take over.

SPEAKER_14 15:17

Because you people don't usually have that amount of money on them. Yeah, and when they do, they start thinking about everything they could get or wanted.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

And it's like this might be the only time I'm able to do it.

SPEAKER_14 15:30

It's like, well, let me get something for me. Because I never I've been working so hard. Like, it doesn't really work like that. Don't don't take money out of your 401k unless you're gonna roll it over, or at least portion of it to roll it over.

SPEAKER_12 15:44

I guess that makes sense though, when you think about it, why some of these people who become famous and just fucking blow their money. Yeah. And then now they're just broke because they're like, oh, I ain't never had this shit. Let me watch the ball out.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

Money don't know what to do with it.

SPEAKER_14 15:58

Like my book says it's a mindset. My book is like not a make money book, it's a it's a mindset. So if you're in a mindset to I never have money, now all of a sudden I have money, I'm gonna get what I wanted, but I couldn't get it. And then you don't realize how fast that money goes.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 16:15

And so if you're not in a habit of saving or at least putting some away, or at least tricking yourself away and saying half of this is I'm not gonna use. You usually trick yourself, don't you? I I usually do. I I I go for a good price.

SPEAKER_12 16:28

Um what's that price? Because half of 401k. You just told us people was giving they was asking for their money back.

SPEAKER_03 16:37

Well that's why it's a good price for them.

SPEAKER_10 16:40

You know, but yeah, I I I had to deal with that person um accordingly.

SPEAKER_14 16:51

But other than that, anything went.

SPEAKER_12 16:54

So wait, you said they ended up owing?

SPEAKER_14 16:56

Yes. Oh, yeah, that's sucks. A large amount.

SPEAKER_12 16:58

Oh I've had to owe. It's not fun. It's not. It's not fun at all.

SPEAKER_14 17:04

It's not.

SPEAKER_06 17:05

Um I think I might be done, hopefully. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 17:09

Because it's it's it's when you if you don't address it and you kind of just like I ain't paying this shit, they're gonna start garnishing shit. So it's like you might as well just yeah. I mean, it's so many ways you can kind of do federal taxes so that you don't get hit with a bill. Um I say the closer to zero is is great. If you don't get a refund and you don't owe, you're you're in the perfect spot.

SPEAKER_12 17:35

Don't go exempt for longer than six months.

SPEAKER_14 17:37

Yeah, for real. Don't go exempt. If you need to I went exempt for probably like two months just to offset some like my income, my yearly income. That way I fall into a certain tax bracket. That way I don't owe too much. And I have never owed ever. So you know what I'm saying? And then I I've had to owe twice. If I have if you have two jobs, I would start putting extra in taxes, like taking out an extra$50 out of my check to pay the taxes, shit like that. Open a S Like it's so many different ways. But anyway, I just wanted to. It was just that was the only kind of drawback. It's like, oh damn, if you would have listened, but yeah, people do what they need to do.

SPEAKER_12 18:17

Yeah, yeah, yes, they do. Yeah, sometimes you have to realize saying, I tried to help, but I ain't my problem. Yeah, I hey and sometimes you you you take on that feeling of dang, like that's crazy. But now it's just like, well.

SPEAKER_14 18:30

Yeah, it's a lot of people that I deal with with their personal um budgets, that's that's the main thing. Because once they start seeing they have a little money saved up and they start seeing the case they already spending it before they got it. It's like, yo, remember, this is not here. This is here when you're ready to make the big purchase. Yeah, like that your your goal is, you know buying a house, car, college. So we're not focused on that. So focus on, and then at that exact same time they go and buy something that costs. So it's like, yo, uh.

SPEAKER_12 19:07

So yeah. Yeah, I've been learning that. Um because sometimes you be like, uh, now I just I look, I look at it now and I be like, one day it'll be a time, but it ain't now. It's it's tempting. It is, it is very tempting, especially when they hit them spells like, oh, BOGO. Like, oh shit. Yeah, not BOGO. Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_14 19:30

It's crazy. And and it and and you see it a lot in people who actually when they start moving up in their job titles and start making more money, right? Yeah, right. They always have this, oh, I'm I got I'm making more money, so it's gonna be easier, but it's you put yourself back in the things. Yeah, you haven't really made a uh a cushion. You make more, save more.

SPEAKER_03 19:55

Yeah, so keep living off of what you was used to.

Gym Buddy Etiquette And Hidden Motives

SPEAKER_14 19:58

Yeah, so anyway, how um so what is going on in the world? This crazy world today.

SPEAKER_12 20:07

So I came across this video, um, and me and my husband listened to it, and I thought it was very, very interesting. Um as a a married woman looking at this woman is single, and this is like her view, but I want everybody to pay attention to exactly what she says um to get the whole picture of her story.

SPEAKER_11 20:37

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_12 20:39

Um but it and and and as as I was listening to him, I'm like, so probably a lot of people actually think like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 20:47

I walked out on a man in the middle of our workout at the gym because he tried to play in my face. Now, to give you a little backstory, this man has been following me. I met him once a while ago. He's been following me. I made a post about needing to get back in the gym and how I'm being inconsistent. He was like, I can help you. I took him up on the offer, he's cool. I was like, okay, cool. Let's just be gym buddies. That's it. Like, I need somebody hold me accountable, and that's fine. So we did go work out, everything was cool. The first time we worked out, it was good. I was like, hey, you want to do this again? Like it was it was cool. Now, after the workout session, he did express romantic interest. Do I know that men are attracted to me? Yes, I'm not stupid doodle dumb. But does that mean I'm gonna be with you, date you? No, we're just doing the gym thing. I very much keep men at an arm's length and a distance at all times. But he was like, you know, you know, if you ever want to go on a date, I am feeling you. I was like, I know you were attracted to me, because again, I'm not stupid. But I'm like, you know, let's do the gym thing. I think this is good. I'm not really looking at, you know, date right now, you know, we're just gonna be gym buddies. So we're in the gym today, right? We're doing our workout, everything's going well. And then there was this woman that approached him. So I don't say nothing, I just kind of looked at her now. She did look my way, and she was like, hey, I saw you, and I was like, oh my god, that's my dad. Turns out the woman is his daughter. Now we had just talked about the daughter, I think the first time we worked out, we talked about the daughter. So I'm familiar with her, she's not familiar with me, right? So they're having about a three minute conversation. They chopping it up, as they should. But n at no point during this conversation did he even look over to me or did he even say, Oh, hey, this is my friend Sheila, we're working out. Why? Simple. We're gym buddies. All you could have did was introduce me, but you didn't. So she walks away and he kinda seems like he's just about we're about to continue this workout. To which I got off the machine and I was like, Yeah, I'm uncomfortable with that. I felt very unseen. Like we're platonic friends, and you could have just introduced me. Now you did express romantic interest, and with you having romantic interest, you should have for sure introduced me. Which lets me know, like, are you hiding something? You ashamed of me? Because I'm that girl. What you gotta be ashamed of? What you hiding me for? I can't be hidden. I show up too big. I thought about interjecting myself, but why would I do that? This is your daughter. You two were having a conversation. You could have just simply turned to me and said, Hey, this is Sheila, this is so-and-so. You know? So it lets me know you're not ready for me. If we were to date, you're not the type of man that I need you to be. Because if you expressed a little romantic interest in me, there was no way that you shouldn't have interjecting me.

SPEAKER_14 23:13

I can't listen to the rest of the business. So Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_12 23:17

I was cracking up when I heard her. And I get the feeling the need that you spoke about your daughter all this time to me, whatever. About like, oh, I felt like you could have introduced me. But the lengths that she just went about it, and like Wait a minute. Like she's crazy.

SPEAKER_14 23:38

Wait a minute. He didn't he because they spoke about the daughter, she felt the need to be introduced. I'm not speaking for her. No, no, I'm just saying, like, is that what her her stance is?

SPEAKER_12 23:50

She felt like if he had a romantic interest interest in her.

SPEAKER_14 23:54

Which was shot down.

SPEAKER_12 23:55

Right. That he should have introduced her to his daughter. And the thing that cracks me up is how it went from we just gonna be gym buddies to platonic friends to you had an interest in me and I'm fly as fuck. And how dare you not introduce me to your daughter? Are you embarrassed by me? It had nothing to do with the man, it was all about her.

SPEAKER_14 24:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_12 24:33

From my my point of view.

SPEAKER_14 24:35

Well e well, you did say you understand that.

SPEAKER_12 24:39

I said I I I didn't say I understand. I said I feel like if we are talking, I can get I get that. Like, oh, I would oh, I would have liked to have met her. You talk so much about her, but I wouldn't have been like mad. Gotcha. I would have said something to him, like, oh, I would have liked to meet your daughter. Maybe next time, you know, something like that, but not know I'ma walk out on a gym thing because you ain't introduced your daughter to me because I'm the bitch. Like, no.

SPEAKER_14 25:08

If there was gym buddies who that magically transformed to platonic friends to you had her, she could have got her ass up and introduced herself if she wanted to meet the daughter. Right.

SPEAKER_12 25:21

But it was about her.

SPEAKER_14 25:23

Yeah. So she got she need to go sit her ass down somewhere. Cause I don't understand this. Like, I don't understand that shit at all.

SPEAKER_12 25:29

Like that's that's a little uh uh narcissistic trait right there.

SPEAKER_14 25:34

I don't need to introduce you to a goddamn person. You said especially if it's 30 days or less. We we are gym buddies that you put us in a box and you shot down my advance. So cool. I'm not tripping over that. So we gonna I'm gonna continue this as such, which means all the other things that comes with being more than just be romantic, all that shit, that shit is no longer in the equation. So I don't need to introduce you to a goddamn person. You and your feelings, because you one, you probably thought it was a different chick trying to hit on him until you found out it was his daughter. And then once you found out it was the daughter, like now you want to be introduced, like you important.

SPEAKER_12 26:23

You're not important, and even if it was another chick, ma'am, you turned me down. Yeah, for real. Like we are gym buddies. Go over there and fucking lift weights, do something, shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_14 26:35

Like is this now a common thing with these young? I I'm I'm assuming she's someone of young.

SPEAKER_12 26:47

At this point, I don't think age matters, to be honest with you. Because I've done seen older women do some dumb shit too.

SPEAKER_03 26:54

I don't think age matters in this because I think that she thinks very highly of herself anyway. So I don't think it even matters what age she is. She just has certain expectations because of who she thinks she is. Yes. Um, I want to applaud her for thinking very highly of herself. Um, amen. Have a seat. Um the only thing that I want to say is I think she's delusional.

SPEAKER_12 27:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:15

I think she has weird expectations on a situation that she has actually created. Yeah. Yeah. So she seemed like she took the lead on forming what their relationship is. Because she wanna play games.

SPEAKER_12 27:36

Or the fact that she's not being honest with herself. She wanna play games.

SPEAKER_03 27:40

Yeah. Because she likes this man, evidently.

SPEAKER_12 27:44

And she wanna breadcrumb the shit out of her.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Exactly. So she's playing games and she wants to do the You see who the fuck I am. So you're gonna have some work to put in before I would even acknowledge anything more than just a gym buddy and let me see what the real deal is before I let you into that space because uh it's me. Because she absolutely would let that relationship evolve, in my opinion, yeah, after some time. Yeah, and clearly she would because she's in her feelings right now.

SPEAKER_12 28:20

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Now, the only part that for me, and it's kind of like what you had said, so I'm taking all the romantic stuff out of it and expectations. Yeah. It's a little weird for me to be with somebody that I know and somebody they know come up and you don't entertain. Yeah, and that has nothing to do with romantic shit, expectations, anything. I just think it's kind of common courtesy. But I would, if the person I'm with don't introduce me and I'm sitting here just looking stupid, I'd be like, hey, how you doing, and introduce myself. Yeah. Um, just to not make it awkward because that just does look a little awkward that this was a two-person thing. We have a conversation. Somebody come up that knows at least one of you, and now you're just sitting there just staring. So either make an exit or introduce yourself. Do the weird person's not gonna introduce yourself. But you'd be like, Well, they don't have no manners.

SPEAKER_12 29:16

Hi, I'm such a right, right.

SPEAKER_03 29:18

And I'm not even putting any of the expectation of, well, you said that you liked me first, because I don't think any of that has anything to do with being introduced. Right.

SPEAKER_14 29:25

You know what's throwing me off with this? Is I don't think you will ever be awkward. When you I think they're coming over because of the aroma of your booty.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

You get on my motherfucking nurse. You said you was being good.

SPEAKER_05 29:44

That is his being good. Right.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

Let's fucking take it. So now there's a line of gym motherfuckers. Like, and now I gotta do all these introductions. Now we done missed out on the workout. No, you didn't.

SPEAKER_10 30:02

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 30:05

Have either of you ever had a gym buddy? My husband.

SPEAKER_14 30:10

Get out of here. My wife and my kids. Yeah. And then they stopped going. So I just I I went for a good eight months until it started getting cold. And then when basketball season started, yeah. Then I then I went to the games and I stopped going to the gym and I put everything back on.

SPEAKER_12 30:29

My daughter's trying to get me to be her gym buddy. She goes to the gym faithfully. Well, both of them do. Uh-huh. And both of them be like, oh, you should come to the gym with me. I'll be like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

Do you think that it's weird to have a gym buddy that's not one of your friends and it's not like a trainer, and that you just found like a buddy that's of that could have potential romantic interest and decide to be a gym buddy? No. I think that's weird. I think it's weird. Yeah, that's weird. Because now, what if you do get into a relationship? Or say you're in a relationship and this person approaches you, expresses that they have romantic feelings, and you like, no, but we could be gym buddies.

SPEAKER_12 31:15

That's unacceptable.

SPEAKER_03 31:16

I think that's unacceptable. Or I think once you get into a relationship, how do you explain now if your person wants to come to the gym with you? You're like, hey, this is my gym buddy, and the three of y'all having a good time with the work.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Like, it might leave. I mean, it might it might I tell you it depends on them.

SPEAKER_03 31:32

I never had a gym. Well, I had a trainer. I wouldn't call them a gym buddy. I had a trainer. It only lasted one day. But it was so then it evolved into something else. And the training stopped. But did it. Oh, bitch. I don't need to train like that. Not you. Oh, okay. Hey yo.

SPEAKER_14 31:55

Could have went and so many places. See how good I am? I could have went and so many people. You could've. You could've. And I'm not. See?

SPEAKER_12 32:04

You only being good because you're trying to prove a point. Well, it's not sincere.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

No, but I think she's weird. And I think she's making way.

SPEAKER_14 32:12

And she's a solid 6.75. So I don't even know why she's so high on herself. I agree with you. I ain't even gonna lie. Yeah, I'm not sure. She's not even up there up there. I said, you know what? It's good for her to feel high on she.

SPEAKER_12 32:25

Because she has to.

SPEAKER_09 32:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 32:29

I'm sorry. I make that noise. Y'all heard it? That was your gym buddy.

SPEAKER_03 32:33

That was your queen.

SPEAKER_06 32:36

That's her gym buddy, Lequinfo. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:43

The Queen Fo's taunders.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

I know. Oh my god. Out of here.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

Yeah, but that's weird. Yeah. That is very weird. Let's do some push-ups, lady. Yeah. And then to like exit the way she did, or in like now you really get to now you're showing that there's obviously more there on your side than what you tried to put out there in the first place. And now you look stupid in my eye. She clearly thought she ate. And it would be even funnier if that really wasn't his kid and it was somebody else that he's about to make a gym buddy. Another friend of his. Because you men can tell when you you because she said woman, which means it's not a younger girl. Yeah. Like.

SPEAKER_14 33:33

Well, maybe the dude was a little older.

unknown 33:35

Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:36

That's what I mean. Like, so when she kept saying woman, this has to be somebody, at least of a decent age.

SPEAKER_14 33:43

Like she never had a chance, so she making a story.

SPEAKER_12 33:46

Yes. I was about to say, like, it probably wasn't even a daughter. It probably was another chick because if you, if now that I'm thinking about it, if you really listen to what she said, it kind of sounded funny when she was like, um, this woman walks up to him, and you know, they're talking, and I'm looking at it later, come to find out that's the daughter, because she was like, hey, um, I was like, oh, that's my dad over there. Like, mmm, that's weird for a child to say to themself, like, oh, that's my dad, hey.

SPEAKER_03 34:22

Yeah, like But I also feel like That was weird. This woman, daughter, probably look bad because the fact that she has to now keep highlighting herself as she's A1 status. So you know the daughter was fit. You know, yes, this bitch, she initially looked at this bitch coming over and was like competition, and then was like, oh, that's your daughter? Okay, I'm gonna relax a little bit, but damn, she looked better than me. And how dare you not know what to do. And that's the thing, right there.

SPEAKER_12 34:55

Automatically, that's instant envy. Like, now you're envious of my daughter, regardless of the situation, even if like something did come out of it after that, if he's crazy enough to even fucking deal with her.

SPEAKER_03 35:08

Now you gotta worry about when your daughter comes around and she looking good and you and she just could be sitting in, like, because from his point of view, and I'm just I don't know his side, but I'm just saying from his point of view, if he did introduce him and go, Oh, hey, you know, this is I don't know how he would introduce her, this is my gym buddy, or he could say this is my friend, or you could just say her name, this is so-and-so. Yeah, but now he's now left open later, if that's his daughter or whoever she is, to now answer questions. Yeah, and now I gotta answer questions about some bitch that turn me down, turn me down, and and not I'm not putting no about to put no real time into, and you know, and that just creates something that he might not want to have to deal with.

SPEAKER_14 35:44

So he was like, Well she especially if she like 5.2. Yeah, so he's like, I'm gonna leave the dumbest.

SPEAKER_12 35:49

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_14 35:52

So he left the dumbbell with the dumbbell song. But dumbbell. I knew she wasn't there when she called herself doodle-dumb.

SPEAKER_12 36:01

Yeah. She really thought she was eating with that, just like the lady who tried to expose her husband, exposed herself for being a bitch. The one that was sitting in the car, her husband was sitting in the car.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So that was probably her.

Bikini Loopholes And Viral Free Gas

SPEAKER_02 36:20

Get out of here, sir.

SPEAKER_03 36:21

If any of you guys were looking for some free gas, because you know how high gas is, you could have taken a um quick trip over to Russia. Um, so a gas station in Russia ran a marketing stunt offering a free full tank of gas to anyone who showed up wearing a bikini. So the idea was likely aimed at Sean. I was wondering, like getting a little working. Hey, yeah. So the idea was likely aimed at attracting women, but they never specified gender. So before long, men started turning up in bikinis too. Some even going online with heels and full outfits. Let's just look at it. Turning the promotion into something completely unexpected. So, what was meant to be a simple stunt quickly turned um viral, and crowds started gathering and taking advantage of the loophole. Yeah, that is how they quickly rescinded the offer, and the offer of the free gas only lasted a few hours.

SPEAKER_12 37:26

Um that's discrimination because I would have been suing. I would have that's a lawsuit right there.

SPEAKER_03 37:36

But hilarious um looking at the pictures of the kitten heels is killing. And I think it's even more hilarious for me that it's Russia because Russia is very much like masculine. Dobody done. Yeah, like babushka. We're showing a babuska.

SPEAKER_12 37:58

They showed up for us. But it just goes to show, like, can you imagine the gay ones was like, yeah, that's my day.

SPEAKER_04 38:07

A gay Russian that is crazy. They got those? Why would it be?

SPEAKER_09 38:13

No, my friends do they gay Russian?

SPEAKER_03 38:19

Yo, you can dick a hole. Why are they only in the Pacific Ocean with gay?

unknown 38:25

What?

SPEAKER_14 38:29

We don't be. They depict Russians as such like badasses with vodka. I just want to see a gay Russian with a vodka. A gay Russian with a vodka. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:42

I just want to see what not you want to see a gay Russian wrestling a moose.

SPEAKER_12 38:48

Absolutely not. They fight moose knuckles. I know that's a you say they fighting glorilla out here? Oh.

SPEAKER_14 39:03

Can you just picture what this sounds like? I just want to do it, do the voice. I know I think that would be fucking cool and hilarious at the same time. Set line again.

SPEAKER_12 39:29

Which is like, how would it look? Because even a women is being little.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_05 39:41

Like you drop drunk now.

SPEAKER_12 39:46

I'm sorry to all my Russian. Like a lady, man.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

A lesbian Russian. I'm sorry. Treat me like a lady. Like, stroke my pussy. Okay, God.

SPEAKER_05 40:01

I am absolutely this. This is outrageous.

SPEAKER_03 40:04

And to all our Russian. I think it will be a good time.

SPEAKER_14 40:07

I think it would be a good time. I think there will be fucking hilarious. I think there will be the greatest thing. You have the best night of your life. I guarantee that.

SPEAKER_12 40:16

That's what?

SPEAKER_14 40:17

Yeah. Night of your life.

unknown 40:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_14 40:20

I was scared to say because they might come after me.

SPEAKER_10 40:24

Yo.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

Anyway. If they do drag, all their names is Vladimir.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

Put on. Puton. By day. Putan. Put it.

SPEAKER_05 40:48

This is ridiculous. Yeah, okay. All right.

SPEAKER_14 40:51

Yo, yeah. Yo. Hit us up, yo.

SPEAKER_09 40:55

No.

SPEAKER_14 40:56

Plus ones, man. I just want to hear. I want to hear.

Local Crime News Hits Home

SPEAKER_12 41:02

So I want to bring some news to our area. Our hair in Connecticut is on the map now. Um We are? Not really. I'm just trying to get us there. Um, so a man armed with an AR-style pistol walked into Aetna's headquarters.

SPEAKER_14 41:20

That's such an oxymoron. That's what it says.

SPEAKER_12 41:23

Wow. An employee noticed a suspicious man entered the Harford building around 10 a.m. This was yesterday, and alerted security according to the internal email obtained by the Harford Current from Christopher Knight, vice president of security of Aetna's parent company, CBS Health. I don't even know why they need to even divulge all that. I just want y'all to listen to this. Yeah, I just want y'all to listen to the day. So the man, identified by police as Denroy Waddleton Waddlington, entered the building carrying a back.

SPEAKER_06 42:01

He was like the men need madame insurance.

SPEAKER_03 42:11

Yo, get out of here.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Yo, Sharon.

SPEAKER_12 42:17

Um so he got arrested.

SPEAKER_10 42:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 42:22

And they're investigating right now because they don't know why he actually came in there. But he is a frequent flyer when it comes to uh the police, because he's been arrested for assault, possession of firearm, and illegal drugs. So that was in Connecticut News today.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

Alright. Do better. What's his name? Delroy? Denroy.

SPEAKER_12 42:48

Denroy. Denroy. You too old, man.

SPEAKER_14 42:52

Hey y'all. If you had to do a versus with a Jamaican man and a gay Russian.

SPEAKER_13 42:59

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_14 43:02

Nope. I got gay Russian. No, we're not gonna touch it. Alright, cool. Nope. Nope. Alright, cool.

SPEAKER_03 43:13

So actress Ruby Rose. Oh God, this ain't gonna get no better. Ruby Rose is speaking out. Um, and she is alleging that Katy Perry sexually assaulted her at a nightclub in Australia.

SPEAKER_12 43:29

Not that yeah, she did. When she was in her 20s.

SPEAKER_03 43:33

So she shared a post about Perry um reacting to Justin Bieber's uh headline in Coachella set. And Ruby um responded directly to the post with her allegations. And she says, Katy Perry sexually assaulted me at Spice Market Nightclub in Melbourne. Who gives a shit what she thinks? Um, you know, that quickly took off across all social media platforms. Um, following the initial post, she continued to engage with commenters and shared additional context about why she chose to speak publicly now.

SPEAKER_10 44:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:10

And she says, before I open up about something incredibly raw and traumatic, I tell myself, it's okay. You don't need people to believe you. You just need to get it out of your poor body before it gives you cancer. She wrote in one response to a fan who offers. Support. But then I see this post and tears consume me in a good way. Thank you. Um, she shared that the alleged incident occurred when she was in her twenties and that she is now 40 years old and she's able to speak about this. Um she says that Katy Perry rubbed her disgusting vagina on her face.

SPEAKER_12 44:46

Yo, the crazy part was when I read it and it was like she pulled her panties to the sand.

SPEAKER_06 44:55

That's not funny, but who the fuck does that?

SPEAKER_04 45:00

Yo, can you imagine all that uncooked roast beef hitting your face?

SPEAKER_14 45:06

Just you can't move, it's just flap it on your lips.

SPEAKER_12 45:10

It might have been uncooked, but it still might have been hot. And you know they don't shower. It could have been warm. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_14 45:15

Oh my god, I just cannot. She kissed the girl that liked it. That's what she meant. And the girl didn't like it. She said disgusting vagina.

SPEAKER_11 45:28

I thought she had like a didn't she say like musky or something?

SPEAKER_04 45:35

Yo, Ruby Room.

SPEAKER_14 45:41

Yo, yo, I'm sorry that it took you 20 years to get that out, but it probably took 20 years to get the smell out.

SPEAKER_15 45:50

She probably been smelling that her whole life.

SPEAKER_03 45:53

Every time she hears Katie Perry's song, she just splashbacks. Just take her back.

SPEAKER_14 46:00

Oh my God. Just take a back. I am so Ruby Rose, I'm roast beef sandwiches with me. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_03 46:09

That's a horrible thing. You are not in her corner.

SPEAKER_14 46:17

Not at all.

SPEAKER_04 46:18

God damn.

SPEAKER_14 46:19

Yo, the vitriol with the disgusting vagina in her face.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

I'm waiting. Um, I doubt Katie's gonna respond, but it would be nice to hear what she is. That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_12 46:34

That is nasty.

SPEAKER_02 46:36

Oh, yeah, bitch. Take this water.

SPEAKER_12 46:38

She's like, California girls are the best. That's what Katie's gonna say.

SPEAKER_06 46:43

She was like, I rubbed it like a five.

unknown 46:48

Jesus.

SPEAKER_14 46:49

Ruby, listen, on a serious note, this, you know, you should have never gone through something like that. And we are um we are sorry.

SPEAKER_12 47:01

Girl, you should have punched that bitch in the pussy. Nobody got stuck. You sat there. No, the fact of it, like, my question is because she says, like, she says that she walked up, pulled her panties to the side, and rubbed her dirty clean on her face.

SPEAKER_14 47:17

But my thing is is that actual, that's what a fan said.

SPEAKER_12 47:21

It could have been the fan. I don't even remember. But my thing is, even still, like, Katy Perry had to do that shit fast as fuck, boy, to run up on her. Young people. Yeah, but you got a hub.

SPEAKER_03 47:34

I'm picturing that. You gotta think, though, everybody different and their reactions is different. No, and she was young. So, and it's Katy Perry. She might not have known how to even react to it because who expects one that somebody's gonna come up and rub their vagina on your face, but two, that Katie Perry's gonna do it.

SPEAKER_12 47:53

So Andy could have been stunned by the smell. That's what I'm about to say. That's probably why she told it now because years later she realized she was like, That bitch rub that to the fish on my face. Probably just clicked, like did Katy Perry rub her fucking vagina on my face? Like it just clicked in 20 years ago. I'm surprised it didn't register, or she got up fast enough when she heard, give me that fillet of fish, give me that fish before Katie got there.

SPEAKER_14 48:20

So, an approaching Katy Perry. Unbuckling. Well, maybe she ain't unbuckling. Maybe no, maybe she had a shit.

SPEAKER_12 48:33

So she's she's She don't look like the type that wear panties with a skirt.

SPEAKER_14 48:37

On approach, she is hiking up her dress.

SPEAKER_12 48:41

Probably not. She walked up and did a split. Because didn't he say didn't they say she was?

SPEAKER_14 48:47

She had to jump on a table.

SPEAKER_12 48:48

I thought she was laying her head in somebody else's lap. Wasn't she laying down?

SPEAKER_03 48:53

I want to see where he's going with this.

SPEAKER_14 48:55

I'm just I'm just saying. I'm realizing she went up on the table. Yeah, on approach. She's hiking, she's hiking the dress up. Let's assume she got no draws on. She's already free.

SPEAKER_12 49:08

Right? It should have been aired out.

SPEAKER_14 49:10

She's scoping the scene. See Ruby Rose sitting there. I'm assuming she's sitting there.

SPEAKER_03 49:17

And she was like, oh, my seat's ready.

SPEAKER_12 49:19

So that looks like a nice day.

SPEAKER_14 49:21

And she's bobbing to the music. Like, maybe she don't even see the approach. Last second she turns her head.

SPEAKER_04 49:30

You see trout.

unknown 49:33

Trout.

SPEAKER_02 49:34

I thought it was roast beef.

SPEAKER_14 49:36

Trout beef.

SPEAKER_02 49:37

Trout beef.

SPEAKER_14 49:39

Milliseconds away from your head. It's can't am. So the natural reaction, like, what the fuck? So the natural reaction, the response time, should be smacking the fish trout away from your face. She thought it was caviar. So she does so she didn't. So by the time she turned her head, she ain't had time to react and just caught a face full of meat fish. Yo, do you? It was caviar Chino number five. And where did she rub it? Like on her eye, her forehead, her nose? Had to be her nose. She's like, And how long was it there for? Like rubbing means you gotta go up and down real quick.

SPEAKER_12 50:19

Like, you know what I'm picturing? I'm picturing there. That she's sitting there normally and just runs up and fucking jumps on her face.

SPEAKER_05 50:29

You know how I like the cartoons?

SPEAKER_14 50:31

Yeah. I guess the girl not like the. Yo, why are you tirating like that? That's what she did and jumped off and ran. Because she was on cocaine.

SPEAKER_04 50:41

Please can we move on? Cocaine makes you move fast as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 50:48

Well, maybe Katy Perry was on cocaine and Ruby. Maybe Ruby did a line off of her boom and regretted it.

SPEAKER_10 50:56

She's sobered out, so everything's over.

SPEAKER_14 51:00

There's so many different.

SPEAKER_03 51:02

No, we're sorry. I mean, what would you do if you were out and Katy Perry ran up and was like, Well, my question would do you was sorry?

SPEAKER_14 51:09

So you're in the reaction time to flailing meat headed to your face. How would you react?

SPEAKER_12 51:17

Flailing meat. That have to be some big meat. From Idris Elba.

SPEAKER_03 51:26

Idris Elba came by and slapped his meat on my face. You're like, aye, mate. That's what he sounds like.

SPEAKER_02 51:34

Really? And now he's fucking Australian.

SPEAKER_05 51:40

This is so rough.

SPEAKER_04 51:45

Where are you going before he even hit your face? Are you preparing?

SPEAKER_03 51:53

He went straight to a fucking coming back with no elbow. I run out of nobody.

SPEAKER_09 52:13

I thought this was a competition.

unknown 52:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 52:21

And then 20 years later.

SPEAKER_10 52:22

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_14 52:23

I get to talk about it in my memoir. Yeah. Sorry, Ruby Rose. Um I wish it was a better vagina. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If it was a better vagina. What if it was Oprah's?

SPEAKER_03 52:38

Well, for you. Stephen Pop was. What if it was your crush? Whoopie.

SPEAKER_02 52:46

You got a Goldberg. Poon on your face.

SPEAKER_05 52:50

He gotta turn into a Russian lesbian. Gif be pousse.

SPEAKER_04 52:56

Shave that shit.

SPEAKER_14 52:58

Y'all, all that Goldberg hair down there.

SPEAKER_12 53:01

She ain't got no eyebrows, so I'm sure she probably don't have no hair.

SPEAKER_14 53:04

I dread locks on her pussy. Oh my goodness. No, man.

SPEAKER_12 53:09

How do we do that? Next story, please. Next story. Get here. I just want to go back to David, the singer.

SPEAKER_03 53:20

Davita.

SPEAKER_12 53:20

Yes, the singer that's done a while ago when we questioned, like, what's going on? Well, he's been arrested. They got him.

SPEAKER_14 53:29

Because none of that shit makes sense. It didn't. They got him.

SPEAKER_03 53:33

It didn't. Like, out of all places, though, like, I don't know why it's just registering to me that she was 14. And I feel like I knew that already, but for some reason it's standing out now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_14 53:44

That's sad though. He thought the Tesla was gonna help him out. Like, this shit's smart enough to get rid of the bodies. Right. Stupid ass.

SPEAKER_12 53:51

He probably told somebody to take that Tesla somewhere. They figured it out. I was like, fuck this. Motherfucking left and right. It was Elon. You know he got cameras and every Tesla. I believe it.

SPEAKER_14 54:03

I believe it. It doesn't help when you kind of rap about it in a song.

SPEAKER_03 54:07

Well, I mean, look at him.

SPEAKER_14 54:08

Yeah.

Funeral Anger And Loyalty Questions

SPEAKER_03 54:10

Poor thing. Well, I'm glad that she will um finally get justice. Yeah, David with the four got David with the four. I was gonna spot his name. So what are your um what are your thoughts about this reaction? Okay, so a woman says, My brother passed away, and at his funeral, his wife showed up perfectly dressed, full makeup, bright red lipstick. The moment his body was laid to rest, she turned around and left. When we questioned her, she said we should ask the woman he died with to mourn him instead. Yes, my brother passed away in a hotel with another woman. But still, how does a wife walk away like that? No tears, no goodbye, just gone. Is this grief, anger, or something else entirely?

SPEAKER_14 54:53

I don't give a fuck at this point. That's what it is. She was the one who underlived him. What's she gonna cry about? Like, what's the expectations here? He was caught cheating and died.

SPEAKER_12 55:05

Right. How dare you expect somebody to cry? Like, yo. She probably cried later. I'm sure she cried. Yeah. It's just now you she mad as fuck. Mm-hmm. Not only was you cheating on me, but you're gonna die by this bitch too.

SPEAKER_03 55:19

She said, I'm gonna come pay my respects and I'm out. Deuce sis. Yeah, uh there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, I don't think either. I think to have any expectations on someone else. One, on how they grieve is ridiculous, but two, yeah, you the fucking family. So odds are you knew he was cheating on your ass. Exactly. On her ass, anyway. So you keep you and your opinions at the car.

SPEAKER_12 55:41

Yeah, like how you mad? You should be mad at your brother. Yeah. All I saying is you ain't like her anyway from the beginning. Mm-hmm. Yep. So she said, fuck y'all, as she should have. I don't see nothing wrong with that. I'm surprised she showed up.

SPEAKER_03 55:55

I mean, I would actually kind of question that too, but then I was like, you know what? I would have probably I would have showed up.

SPEAKER_14 56:01

So they've been married for a long time. I would have showed up. There's a lot like so I I would expect her to show up, but I don't expect her to be like all emotionally invested if he she's like a way to repass it. Yeah, like mm-mm. That nigga cheated on me and died while cheating.

SPEAKER_12 56:17

I would have showed up and kicked that caskill. You know what? So I would just say you have such anger.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

You're such a violent person.

SPEAKER_03 56:32

Nope.

SPEAKER_06 56:32

What do you mean? I'm so sweet.

SPEAKER_03 56:34

Oh, okay. Sweet as black licorice.

SPEAKER_04 56:41

That's flavored.

SPEAKER_12 56:42

Oh, I wish you would have said she would have. Black licorice is nasty. What? What?

unknown 56:49

Huh?

SPEAKER_12 56:49

What's next? We move past his. We won't move past nine. Two shade, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_14 56:56

All right. What's next?

unknown 56:59

Oh man.

SPEAKER_12 57:02

Ooh, yeah. Um sorry.

SPEAKER_14 57:06

Yo.

SPEAKER_12 57:08

Sorry. Let's talk about, okay.

SPEAKER_14 57:11

Well, she went from anger to horny in like three seconds.

SPEAKER_12 57:13

I was not horny. That's just an actual day. Um, let's talk about this pastor um who drowned the grandfather who was getting baptized and told everybody that she saw him dancing with Jesus. First of all, you ever been baptized? You know what baptize is?

SPEAKER_14 57:38

Yeah. I know a baptize is. I don't think I've been baptized. No, you would remember if you were baptized. Yeah. Yeah. Unless I was a baby when they don't baptize babies.

SPEAKER_12 57:51

Yeah, they do. That's a christening. Huh? You get baptized, you're just boom.

SPEAKER_03 57:57

No, I don't know. You dunked underwater. Nope. Yeah, the christening and the priest is literally just like rubbing his penis on your forehead. Yeah. So you was christened. As a baby. You were christened. Yeah. As a baby?

SPEAKER_12 58:07

Yeah, they walked the baby down to the front of the church. And the um priest goes. And a Vatican.

SPEAKER_05 58:17

Oh my God. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02 58:22

Oh sorry.

SPEAKER_03 58:23

Oh my God.

unknown 58:25

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 58:26

We're going to remove that part anyway. Yes. Yeah. We are.

SPEAKER_05 58:30

He's not moving shit. Removing, sorry. That's what happens when you talk shit about the Lord. Your lips get stuck together until you shut the shit.

SPEAKER_02 58:37

I'm gonna move my chair over.

SPEAKER_05 58:44

I can't believe I said that.

SPEAKER_02 58:46

Especially skeet ski. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_12 58:49

That was horrible. Oh my God. Hey y'all. Well, that bitch got arrested.

SPEAKER_03 58:54

So wait, so the pastor baptized who?

SPEAKER_12 59:01

So um Cheryl Bartley, which is her name, 48, is uh pastor of Respect and Change Life Ministries.

SPEAKER_05 59:09

I just made that up. I made that up. I made that up. But I think I think I should have gone with my name better because she killed this man, and this is the day of her um church is life-changing ministries.

SPEAKER_03 59:31

It should have been called too, Death Doors Pod.

SPEAKER_12 59:33

Well, they poded it. Um, so yes, she has been charged with manslaughter after a grandfather of seven drowned during a home baptism. So not only it wasn't in your church, you show up. She probably tried to do it by herself and couldn't get him back up out the water. Oh my god, and she streamed it live on Facebook.

SPEAKER_14 1:00:07

So while he was in the water, he was just like, oh, she gonna pick me up at any time, or struggle?

SPEAKER_12 1:00:13

Oh, he couldn't, he had Parkinson's disease.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:20

So imagine a gay Russian with Parkinson's disease getting baptized.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:41

But I'm sorry, real quick, real quick. This whole episode, this man has Parkinson's, and you're baptizing him in a kid's paddling pool.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:56

Oh, like the the little plasti the plastic round one that you fill up with the hose water.

SPEAKER_14 1:01:02

That all you need to do is stand up.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:04

He can.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:06

Oh well he couldn't.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:07

No, he can't. You can walk. So what, he flashed too much water and it got he inhaled? I don't get it. Because that pool little. She held him underwater. Yeah, thank you. She held him underwater. Talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:21

Well, don't Parkinson's mess with your um your mobility. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe his hands, he had like a He had a probably had Parkinson's life insurance. Maybe they wasn't Maybe he was having like an episode and he couldn't use his hands at the time.

SPEAKER_14 1:01:39

Grandfather.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:40

So somebody else's grandfather now?

SPEAKER_14 1:01:42

Yeah, it was somebody else's grandfather.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:44

It wasn't his that could have been the reason.

SPEAKER_14 1:01:47

She said, so because you shake all the time. So you when you're down there, you're just shaking your right.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:54

So like maybe he wasn't able to functionally like use his hands. He was having an episode, maybe.

SPEAKER_14 1:01:59

Why would she dunk somebody with Parkinson's? Why don't you just splash water on them?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:02

Right. Some people like the full court press service, you know. Wait, we're talking about baptism.

unknown 1:02:09

Right?

SPEAKER_12 1:02:09

Yeah, baptism. You you want him to get a christening. Oh no, no, Parkinson's a knock.

SPEAKER_14 1:02:14

I'm getting out of that pool. You shake yourself out. I'll just use my mouth. I'm just trying to figure it out. You use what you're good at.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:22

I'm just trying to figure it out. What made it worse is I really think she did this shit on purpose because who's talking about she said that she saw him in heaven dancing with Jesus. He's swimming with Jesus. He was just having a Parkinson's episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:36

He was hauling shaking with Jesus. Turn your mic off. Turn your mic off.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:41

That's what did it for me?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:44

This whole segment is blasphemous. It is. You started with Skeet Skeet, so I don't even know how we got here.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:52

About as blasphemous as the pumpkin muppin dressing himself up as Jesus. Talk about he was a doctor. No, sir, you did exactly what you you portrayed.

Jail Honey Bun Extortion Case

SPEAKER_03 1:03:03

So I got a big back-end story.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:06

I love big back-end stories.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:10

So a veteran corrections officer at Morgan County Jail in Alabama is facing seven felony extortion charges after investigators say that 53-year-old Jarvis Rendel Moore. There it is. After working at the jail for 24 years, he was fired in September. Um, later turned himself in in February because Look at him.

SPEAKER_12 1:03:40

Look at his picture. Because nipples hard just thinking about what he did.

SPEAKER_14 1:03:47

His nipples are hard.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:50

He threatened physical harm against at least two inmates over honey bun.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:00

Which one? He was with the glaze or with that frosting.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:04

He got two first degree and five second degree extortion charges. Um he posted a$20,000 bond and was ordered to have no contact with anyone involved in the case. So he admitted that he took commissary items from the inmates. But he says it was a part of a long-running practice meant to keep order in the jail. So, according to Moore, commissary taken from disruptive inmates will be given to others as a reward for helping clean or keeping problems under control. And he insisted that he never kept any of it for himself. Lies you tell. His attorney has claimed the charges are retaliatory, but the sheriff's office said the investigation began before any alleged political motives and maintained that taking inmate property is not allowed under jail policy. Um after being fired, he briefly got a job at another jail, but was dismissed once the charges became public. Um why are you stealing people's rations? Do you not see him? That smile tells me the truth.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:13

He looked like a honey bun. He was tearing them honey buns out. Yeah. He looked happy.

SPEAKER_14 1:05:18

I love a good honey bun. They look jail-made. These honey buns look jail-made. So I don't know what that wife is.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:23

Yeah, you know them. Those is not little Debbie's. Those is something else. Those crusties that you get from like the dollar store. Well, your inmate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:36

Your local neighborhood inmate. And you run in the bitches look an extortion for honey.

SPEAKER_14 1:05:43

They look facility made.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:44

Yo, but why are you still like they barely have anything and you stealing honey buns? That's their dessert. This is judgment free zone. No, but I just imagine that like when he inside, because he's gonna end up inside. Inside of what? A honey button? Inside his old jail. They're gonna fuck him up. They gonna fuck him up. They're gonna fuck him up. Come on with all these accents, yeah. But you're trying to be good, and so you don't know who you are.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:27

I know I don't know who I am.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:36

Yo, you need to go. You need to leave. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_14 1:06:40

Oh shit. Get out of here. Anyway.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:44

Get out of here.

Wedding Snub Then Money Request

SPEAKER_12 1:06:46

Good luck, guy. No, that's absolutely uh freaking unnecessary. Um, quick question. Uh, my friend of five years got married last weekend. I wasn't invited. She said it was just family. So I respected it, um, even though it hurt. I still congratulated her, still showed love. Now she's asking me to lend her money because she overspent on decor and and a cameraman. Be honest. Would you help in this situation? Fuck no.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:26

You know, I feel like deep in my heart, deep down inside.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:35

I still love you.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:37

I feel like they they said the friendship was a long time, like they've been longtime friends. Five years. Okay. I feel like that's some distance to go with a friend. I feel like, you know, fuck you, bitch. Like, you're not going. How dare you? The audacity. The audacity. Exactly. And I understand. So don't get me wrong, because everybody has their reasons for what they do. And maybe, you know, you was like, you know what, we can only afford family only at our wedding, so I can't have my friends there. But how dare you? How dare you? Go ask the people you invited. That part. Go ask the people Go ask your family. Go sell Katy Perry's panties.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:21

We your d.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:23

Ruby Rose flag. Go extorte inmates for honey buns. Like, do something. But don't come talking to me. Don't come asking me for shit. That's that's wild to me. I think that's so disrespectful. Um I hope I hope if you know if it's real that the person did not. And I mean, you can do whatever your heart leads you to do, but I wish you would. I know that's I wish you would. I'm cussing you out from the you would you would have to get a slap. The honey to the bun. Because ain't no fucking way.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:55

Ain't no way.

Passport Backlash And Getting What You Vote For

SPEAKER_03 1:08:56

Ain't no fucking way. So a really funny story. Um, I love uh karma stories. Um Bruce Kardashian has has opened up and is speaking out because um they're very upset that they aren't able to use their passport. Oh no. Because their passport has them identified as a male. Because due to Donald Trump changing shit, because he's totally against all of this transgender shit, and he wants you to identify as what you were born as born as. And so they are not recognizing Bruce's passport. Oh, whoa. He has reached out to Donald for help and understanding, and Donald is completely ignoring not responding. Where's the little mini violin? But I think it's hilarious that you're Republican fighting against your own self and your own um you coming on a Republican show speaking to another highly conservative bitch who has the same views as Donald Trump, as if she's gonna have some sympathy for you. And you got this outcry of now you can't travel beyond the uh United States. You stuck in the States, bitch. Even using your ex daughter's last name, which is crazy. Poor little thing. Take your wig off. Then go travel. Well, sorry, Bruce, but you get what you vote for, bitch. Exactly. You wanted this, you wanted this. Yep. And you thought that speaking up against everybody that held you to a certain um, I don't even want to say standard, but people who respected Bruce Kardashian at a certain time, you know, for you know, his sports and legacy and all of that shit. And just even being a Kardashian, you know how people flock to the S fans. And you turned your back on all of these people to suck on, you know, Donald's McNugget. And now you're getting exactly what you deserve, and that's his sweet and sour sauce. So lap it up, bitch.

SPEAKER_12 1:11:30

That's so gross. He don't got sweet and sour sauce, he got ambrosia salute. That's nasty. That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:40

That's really disgusting. Yuck. Anyway.

SPEAKER_12 1:11:45

Well, you ought to your favorite part now.

Silly Hypotheticals And Listener Prompts

SPEAKER_14 1:11:47

Oh, oh, oh, okay. Let's do it. Alright, listen. I got some questions for you guys. It is is meant to be fun, so that's that's makes this fun. If you could instantly master one skill baiting. But it had to be something completely useless in everyday life.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:37

What?

SPEAKER_14 1:12:38

What would you choose and how would you brag about it?

SPEAKER_12 1:12:42

Being in the vessel of useless information.

SPEAKER_14 1:12:47

So your master being the vessel of useless information. How would you use it? And how would you brag about it?

SPEAKER_12 1:12:58

Um, well, I guess I would just sit there and tell everybody shit that they don't give a fuck about.

SPEAKER_14 1:13:06

Like your coworker.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:07

Like my co-worker. Yeah. Uh how I would brag about it.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:14

Hey guys, I know everything. Yo.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:17

I don't know. Yeah, hey guys. Sorry. I would master blowing bubbles with baptism water, and I would spell out Jesus, and that's how I would brag about it.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:41

Yeah. But where are the bubbles coming? What? Bubbles. Bubbles. Bubbles.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:47

The bubbles. We're from Fetch Lana. Yeah. Give me boosy.

SPEAKER_14 1:13:57

Something completely useless.

SPEAKER_12 1:13:59

You about to answer?

SPEAKER_14 1:14:00

In everyday life, yeah. Oh, okay. I was about to say don't skip yourself. I'm on a knock. Completely useless. Me. Hey guys. Oh.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:17

That's sad. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:22

What is completely useless?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:24

Rubbing your poon on somebody's face.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:29

Calling a pumpkin muffin your president.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:34

Yeah, that's that's true.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:36

I don't know. I don't I don't know what's useless. Going to work full-time at a completely 100% remote job and you going in office. That's what I do now.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:48

Hey. So what I'm doing now. Then you're not 100% remote job. Yeah, I don't know. I know. Pay people for your earnings.

SPEAKER_12 1:14:56

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_14 1:14:58

I'm gonna master the skill of slapping people with a banana pill.

SPEAKER_12 1:15:02

I've done that.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:05

When they say something stupid.

unknown 1:15:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:09

So I'll probably be chasing down the chick who the gym buddy bitch. And how would you brag about it? Hey guys, I'm about to smack this gym buddy bitch.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:18

I'm about to smack this gym buddy bitch.

SPEAKER_14 1:15:20

With a banana. With a banana pill. Banana. I don't know. Alright. Number two. If animals could talk, which species do you think would be the most sarcastic? And what would you what would they roast humans about first? I would say fish.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:44

A fish? It would be more say sarcastic. What would they say? They done seen some shit in the waters because people love doing stuff in water. And they love being naked in the water. And they're gonna talk about all the little worms that's been floating around. All the nasty little roast beef. And the people shitting in the waters. And the people doing all kinds of nasty shit in the water. And they're gonna have such a ball talking about talking to us, talking about y'all nasty motherfuckers. Got this shit in your house. Y'all eating us after we done eight y'all come.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:17

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:21

The relationship you have with fish is that it's fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_12 1:16:26

I'm so scared. Oh sorry. I think a horse would be sarcastic.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:32

Because they got that Katie Perry on their back. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_12 1:16:36

Just imagine you do have like a whole bunch of people that's like riding on their backs and shit, talking to them, patting them. A lot of breath, a lot of 400-pound people trying to get on the back and they crumble. No, they crumble. Yo.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:50

Unless they're clad still. Yeah. I would say a bear. Why a bear?

SPEAKER_14 1:17:03

First of all, why the noise?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:07

Continue.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:07

Was that supposed to be a horse?

SPEAKER_03 1:17:10

That was an AI horse. Yeah, bear.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:13

That was a horse. Yeah, because we think we are cool with bears. Who's we? White people do winning. That's funny. And then they fuck their ass up and call it that.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:33

Excuse me, bear. Hey, how'd you get into my house? Come look, Billy's in the fridge.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:41

If your life had a theme song that played every time you entered a room, what song would be hilarious, but also rare weirdly accurate every time you walk into the room. I think you're looking for the same thing I'm looking for.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:05

Y'all better not.

SPEAKER_14 1:18:13

I'm gonna play mine. Hold on, maybe maybe it's all of ours. Okay. I'm gonna take a uh yes. I'm gonna play mine and let's see if we think the when the hook hits, y'all can't get rid of me. You know why?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:51

You don't have one yet.

SPEAKER_14 1:18:53

Y'all want me to play it.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:17

Sister, you've been on my mind.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:22

I can see this explaining as soon as you walk in the room.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:27

With my little flood steps, sister.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:31

I'm keeping my eye on you. You better.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:39

Not the airlift. I know that. That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:47

The facts of life, bro. Yeah, that's crazy. I forgot about that damn song and the show. Okay, last one. I love that show.

SPEAKER_14 1:20:56

Last one, last one. If you had to replace your hands with a kitchen utensil, what combo would you pick to live your best life? I'm going spoon and a spatula.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:19

You stupid.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:24

And why is that?

SPEAKER_14 1:21:26

So the spoon could when you're eating, you can pick up more stuff with a spoon. And spatula, so I can smack that ass when I'm free.

SPEAKER_12 1:21:37

Oh my yo, get out of here. Oh my god. We run around here talking about smack that. Right. Smack that. All on the flood.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:48

And that's gonna be my song that comes off. My spatula hand.

SPEAKER_14 1:21:54

Yo. Um shit. I know Sean's. Turkey based to the one.

SPEAKER_12 1:22:03

Oh my God. Mine should be tongs and a knife.

SPEAKER_14 1:22:10

Tongs and a knife? Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:13

I'm going with a meat tenderizer and a meat and a rolling pin.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:20

What the fuck is you doing? A rolling?

SPEAKER_15 1:22:23

I don't want and that's our gem.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:40

Hey. Plus ones, what would you do? Any of these questions. Any of these questions, what would you do?

SPEAKER_06 1:22:47

Yo.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:48

Oh my god. He gave it some real thought because he wanted to. He really did. Just in case. All right.

Final Advice And Goodbye

SPEAKER_14 1:23:03

Yo. Holy shit. Alright. Uh yeah. Any last words for our plus ones before we leave up out of here?

SPEAKER_03 1:23:12

Leave people honey buns alone and take your wig off.

SPEAKER_14 1:23:21

That's good advice.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:23

Left me speechless. I got nothing.

SPEAKER_14 1:23:26

Alright, plus ones, we love you. Thank you for joining us. And uh see you later. Later.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:36

Faithful and friendly with storage to share.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:40

On the forest taste, or it's marching along at the top of the air.

SPEAKER_12 1:24:05

I got things on my coming back.