Sophie Ellis-Bextor, singer-songwriter and disco darling

"You can never have too much of a good feeling" - Sophie Ellis-Bextor

On this episode of Three Food Memories you'll sit down with the one and only darling of (kitchen) disco, Sophie Ellis-Bextor.

On the menu: lobster casserole cooked by her husband Richard, spaghetti pomodoro by the beach in Italy, and cod and chorizo stew with the band and baby. 

Sides include: musings on music, family, work, and being a mum to five boys. Oh, and a random eBay purchase that's become part of the wallpaper.  

Sophie's social cause is Save the Children UK, who reached 41.2m children in 93 countries around the world. From crisis response to lasting change, they fight for every child's right to survive, learn and be protected – in the UK and around the world.

To find out more about the project and Savva - head to threefoodmemories.com
Insta - @savvasavas @threefoodmemories

Email us at threefoodmemories@plated.com.au, we'd love to hear from you! 

TFM is produced and edited by Lauren McWhirter with original music by Russell Torrance. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:27

And Twitter live on a miracle for eternity after 50 years last time. A disco pop dialing whose voices sounds like dance forescraft across decades. It carries that same full stuff into the corner corners of the last where family, food, and feeling leaves. If it's a murder on the dance floor, then Sophie Elspecta is the DJ who dare not kill the group. Please welcome the OG Plate spinner, Sophie Ellis Becta. Welcome to Sophie Player.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

I'm feeling hungry already.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Now Sophie, only it was only like two hours ago that I got the word that you were coming online. And speaking of spinning plates, I am in the process of packing to go overseas with my kids. So I'm not sure if you can hear the dryer in the background and beats and bits and pieces and the zipping of suitcases and kids running around. I want to say thank you for coming on the show. It's taken us a couple of years to get here, but it's been a real joy now to sit in front of you. But let's talk about what you've been working on at this very moment. You've released your eighth studio album, Perry Menopop last year, another banger. You're recently back from a tour in Oz. How excited are you about all this going on?

SPEAKER_03 1:42

So I've had a glorious couple of years actually. And also I'm very sorry if there's been a new mix-y up with the diary, because I knew I was speaking to you for at least a couple of weeks. So I don't know. I've been looking forward to speaking to you and thinking a lot about food and food memories. Because for me, um, ever since we met and had that conversation a couple of years back about your podcast, it's a very easy fit with not just my home life but also my work life. So interwoven and all I've been doing with the touring has been lots and lots of nice places to meet. But yeah, I've been having a great time. I've actually just finished. So I did a yeah, last year was Bonkers. The album Perimena Pop came out in the autumn. And last year I did a tour of the UK, Europe, North America, Australia, New Zealand. So it's been wonderful. I'm so lucky. I love what I do. It's been great sharing all these new songs and mixing them in with the old and really sort of evolving the sound. But I just I have that nice feeling where I really know who I am and what I do, and I think that's a real treat for an artist to get to that point.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

But it doesn't stop there because this is the this year, at the end of this year, marks the 25th anniversary of Murder on the Dance Floor. Now, when you think about it, well when I think about it, Murder on the Dance Floor is up there with Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive, the BG's Staying Alive, I mean Madonna's Vogue, Kylie's Padam, uh Dove Punk's Get Lucky. Do you see it as as as we see it, your audience, do you see this uh song as a disco dance floor soundtrack time capsule?

SPEAKER_03 3:20

No, a time capsule because uh that kind of implies something that's kind of uh you you bring back from from yesteryear. And the lovely thing about music and particularly pop music is that for any time that someone is engaging with it, it keeps it keeps life force in its veins. Pop music is there to be played with. It's an interactive, playful genre. So anyone that dances to it, hums along, taps their foot, is keeping it alive. It's very it stays in the present tense so long as someone is engaging with it in the present tense. And I think I'm very fortunate because that song was special to me already. It was one of my first ever singles. It was my first international single, so it was really setting up my stall of what kind of solo artist I wanted to be. Um, so how serendipitous, but it's also the song that's kind of like the thread drawing all of my albums and everything I've done like together. It's kind of like a bit of a keystone for me. So I feel I feel like it's really lovely how sort of neat its story is and how neatly it, you know, what it means in my world anyway. Um, so I've I've I've been singing it very happily since it came out, and it's it's joyful to me to have so many people so excited by it still. I love that. I love being its mum.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Another pop moment for you was in 2007. You opened for George Michael for his the beginning of his UK tour. What was it? What was the body feel like stepping out onto the stage before he was to come up? What was going through you?

SPEAKER_03 4:57

To be honest, I think when I did that tour, I'd already done something that had really fortified me, I think, which was that I did 34 arena shows. We'd take that, and that was much more of a sink or swim kind of feeling because uh it was, you know, a group of adult, mainly adult women waiting for four men. And so when I pop out for half an hour at the beginning or 45 minutes, whatever I was doing, I had to quickly show them I was friend, not foe, and kind of try and match their energy. And um, so I think the George Michael one, to be honest, was I don't think the pressure was there in the same way at all. Um, and eight dates goes by pretty quickly, to be honest. But no, I just thought it was lovely, it's always a compliment, isn't it? It's a nice feeling, and as I said, I just thought what a special talent. But yeah, and and a sensitive soul. I could see he was a very caring person.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

What a gift you were given.

SPEAKER_03 5:54

Yeah, no, I'm very fortunate. I mean, I've I've done lots of incredible support tours and I've really enjoyed it. I think it's I think it's I always learn something. I'm still learning now.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

So let's learn three things about you. Let's start with your first food memory.

SPEAKER_03 6:09

So I wanted to start with with Richard, my husband. So we've been married for 20 years, and part of the way that we wooed each other was with food. Um it sounds really terrible, but I quickly um de-established his vegetarianism because I was like, I think I can see a possibility of getting that guy into eating fish and meat. So that was my contribution to his diet. But for me, he would just always cook for me. And one of the first things he cooked for me was a Valentine's Day meal where he made a lobster casserole and spent a really long time on it. And he's actually a good, a really good cook. But I think I also could see that he must be quite serious about me to spend time and energy making this really quite complicated meal. So I always think back to those bits. Because also he doesn't really cook in quite the same way now. He's he's he's he's a great cook, but I think that one was like something he obviously saw and thought I would really want to impress her. So he made this, took him hours, this lobster casserole, but it was delicious.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Does he repeat the recipe to repeat the lobster casserole everything?

SPEAKER_03 7:18

We've never had it again since. So I think that's also that thing, it's quite a good symbol of you know, when you're getting to know someone and you you put on slightly different hats to sort of show, try and like bring them into your world. But yeah, he uh that's yeah, that was what he gave me this uh this casserole. But yeah, he basically because he ate seafood and fish, I was like, I'm pretty sure I can get that guy eating meat. And again, I cooked for him, something I never have but haven't really cooked again since. I did him some duck because I was like, well, if you eat things under the water, then maybe if we just go to the the surface of the water and then you move slightly over to land. Uh and it worked surprisingly easily, I have to say.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

One of the stories when we we we first met was you told me that you and Richard had only been together a short time before you found out that you were pregnant.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

That's right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

And it was a discussion, and we'll come to that in a minute, and it was a discussion over what was it, a a full English breakfast, hey?

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Uh I was actually fish fingers and chips or something like that. It was like it was like nursery food. Um we were kind of in shock. Yeah, I was I was already the oven was already on, and then I done this test, and Richard was like on the phone, and um, and when when I showed it to him, I remember he just looked a bit dazed and put his thumb up. And um, so I just in an equal daze kind of continued like made us very, very basic food, which we kind of ate and would talk a bit seriously and then we'd laugh for a bit and then look a bit shocked for a bit and kind of do that on a cycle. Yeah, that baby, he's he's gonna turn 22 this month.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

He's no longer a baby. So I want to talk about your your love of makeup and all things pretty and girly. I mean, you there if if anyone was to go to your socials, it it is theatre watching you put on makeup when you spread it all out. And the colours and the glitter. And I mean, and you have a shoe collection that would turn Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz green with envy. I mean, can one ever have too much glitter in their life, Sophie?

SPEAKER_03 9:26

Well, I love it for me, but I don't I I never asked it of anyone else. I would say that. I mean, for me on stage, sequins are my friend. You know, they travel well, they're waterproof, they don't need ironing, and they dance with you. And I think for me, they've helped with me get in the zone, but they weren't something it's something I came to a bit later on. I mean, if you'd seen me when I started, I wore a lot of black, a lot of pencil skirts. I kind of had quite a different aesthetic. So I think it's also to do with, you know, confidence and experience and embracing, embracing how it makes me feel and realizing that if you feel it, you can transmit it. And for me, it's I don't think it's about having too much glitter. I think it's you can never have too much of a good feeling. I'm really, I want people to find for themselves whatever that looks like for them. They don't, I never, nobody has to dress up to come and see me. But whatever it is that whatever that kernel is, that's what I want to pass on.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

But do do they dress up to come and see the concerts? Do you look out to the audience and they actually do?

SPEAKER_03 10:30

It's adorable. I love it so much. I've always found that the biggest it's a compliment, isn't it? But also it means you're in a little tribe. You feel like you've got all these kindred spirits around you, and and ultimately that's what performance is. It's a dialogue, you're looking for the call and response with the crowd. You know, that's there's such a comfort in in that the you know, whatever that emotion is being reciprocated. So, so I love it very much, and it also means that everything is really nice to look out on.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

So, speaking of tribes and and glitter and all the rest of it, you and Richard have your own little tribe. So you we we just found out earlier that your oldest is 22 and your youngest is seven or thereabouts, and in between there's another three, and they're all boys. How do you maintain the glitter and the makeup in a boisey household as a boisey mum?

SPEAKER_03 11:25

Well, I suppose I think I understand that they are all boys, but I think mainly and and most satisfyingly they're five people, and so I want this house to be a place where they feel safe to be themselves, and that counts for their dad and I too. And I suppose, you know, any anyone like Richard does not need we can both have our, you know, the the feminine and masculine uh put put out there however we see fit without it threatening each other's sense of self. I think that's I think that's the sort of thing you're hoping to the culture you're hoping to infuse into your kids too, that they can they have what they need in themselves and and and the house should be a place where they can feel relaxed and cozy and comfortable and you know we we've grown it all together. So no matter how many boys and girls I happen to have parented, I'd I'd always be the only mum. And I I I feel I feel lifted up by my family, you know. Actually, they really support me. And my eldest in particular is has been so encouraging with with what I do. He's brilliant and he's got a really good eye. He's always been interested in fashion and and he he really gets it. So so no, he's really helped me.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

But that all comes from you and Richard. One of the first things that I noticed, because it was a story that you told me you'd been together for a short period of time and and you you know you fell pregnant. But it wasn't the story that got me, it was the way that you looked at each other and the way that your your gazes just you were just staring at each other like w waxed models in a in a museum. And I was trying to was looking at you both, trying to penetrate the gaze and both it, but together you're quite a strong unit.

SPEAKER_03 13:11

Well, I I I mean I'm I'm hoping that was a description of us being really jet-like in Australia, like glazing over. I mean, look, we you know, that's what happens, I suppose, when you're together for a long time and you kind of you you start off with um sewing some seeds together, and then in a couple of decades in you're you're sitting in a garden, you know, it's a nice, a nice feeling. But I think also, you know, we we do we do really like each other, we're really supportive, and and so much of what we do is is together. You know, he's uh Richard runs my band, um, he's helped produce uh music I'm making. We have we have things that we keep separate, but there's mostly things overlap, and I think that for us that works. I know for some people that would be a bit much, but for us it means that everything we do can be incorporated into our relationship as well. So I don't know if I could do all the touring and all the work that I do if that wasn't how we shared it, because I think it would be I think it'd be too much for me to be away like that without him and without the kids.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

I'm curious, who are the two there's two photos behind you on the wall. Who are they?

SPEAKER_03 14:20

They're they're not photos actually, they're um they're oil paintings that I got on eBay because I'm like absolutely obsessed.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

Oh, they're nobody.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

Well, they're somebody, but they're not my somebody. You're not nobody, guys.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

No, no, but not nobody's. So thinking about okay, so my my question is I often think because I don't have a traditional family, what is a traditional family?

SPEAKER_03 14:40

Absolutely. Who who has one?

SPEAKER_02 14:42

I mean, and you didn't come from a traditional family, did you? Your mum was in in what did your mum do?

SPEAKER_03 14:50

So my mum was a children's TV presenter out of a like the biggest, well, it's actually one of the biggest TV shows uh like for kids that's existed. And that it's the longest running children's TV show in the world now. It's been running over 65 years. So yeah, so she was one of the Blue Peter presenters in the 1980s, so when I was in my single digits, and she still is a broadcaster, presenter, writer now. Um, and yeah, we're very close. She lived down the road 10 minutes away. So yeah, I see a lot of my mum.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

So b so blue pita was a very big deal, is it's pretty much like our probably our play school here in Australia. Yeah. What were you taking from it as a little girl in your single digits? What did it mean to you?

SPEAKER_03 15:35

Well, when my mum was doing Blue Peter, actually it was before my brother and sister were born. So I was actually an only child at that point, and I think it almost felt to me like a sibling, which I know is quite quite an odd way to refer to it, but that was the kind of feeling it gave me, as sort of like a like part of that world. So my mum, it was sort of me and her and Blue Peter, and that was the thing she'd go and do while I was at school, and then if she was presenting, like when it was live, I would be at home watching it uh alongside all my school friends, and then she'd come home and I'd bring home bits from the studio. And I think some of the some of the stuff I learned at the time was quite immediate, but then I think there's also been a trickle down because through the program my mum worked really hard, she um did lots of travel, she did some really very ambitious cool stuff, like um she did a lot of uh sky jumping, so like skydiving, so she solo skydives um as part of what she did on the show, so she did about 40 of those. And I I think that yeah, I I think it's embod emboldened me to um to travel, to go and see the world, to go and do things uh that I probably wouldn't have done if she hadn't done that.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Your eldest son recently moved in with your mum. Does he still live with her?

SPEAKER_03 16:56

Yeah, yeah, he's lived with her for two years now. Yeah, so Sonny and his grandma.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

What sort of relationship does that create?

SPEAKER_03 17:04

It's lovely, actually. I mean, they've always been close. My mum has a very lovely relationship with all of her grandbabies, actually. Um, and one thing she did that I always think I I want to do that when I'm a grandma is she's always had lots of time with them one-on-one. And so they all have their own relationship with her, and I think that's really important. But I think, yeah, Sunny and my mum have always been close. He moved in when he was doing sort of his like they call it like his university years, so it was the time when a lot of his friends were moving out, they were moving to Halls, they were moving to different parts of the country, and so I felt like he needed, I could see we you know we'd spoken about a lot, and I felt like he needed just that like next next bit up, really, like a little bit more independence. Uh, this is a young kid house, you know. He's he's got lots of little brothers, and I felt like if he stayed here, it was just he just it was time for something a little bit more in his own space, but also this was such a brilliant option because it's so close. He can look after my mum. She's been living on her own since 2020 when my stepdad sadly died. Uh so it means that she's looked after, she's got someone to help her with stuff. They can look out for each other, but they've also they can coexist. You know, he's a young adult, they can they can do have life the way the right way. And my mum said the other day, he's he's a very lovely housemate, you know. I think they I think they have quite a harmonious time actually.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

So where do you get in a in a young person's household, there's four boys, there's Richard, where do you get your solitude? Where do you step in back to yourself?

SPEAKER_03 18:40

My phone pockets a bit all the time. I mean I guess for me, a lot of life and and my recalibration has been in the punctuation marks, you know, when you're in transit somewhere or you're taking a pause or having a coffee with a friend or sorting something peaceful out at home, that always makes me feel better. You know, when the kids are at school and I get on with like helping the house evolve, always always good brings me feeling very sort of centered. Cooking, definitely. But I think also gigs, actually, being on stage, being at work, uh feels wonderful. And I I I recognize all of it because when we were in lockdown and it wasn't there is when I realized how significant all of that was. It wasn't just what I was doing, it was actually what was keeping me feeling good too.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

So home is really important to you.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

It's huge, yeah. Home and family. I'm a real family girl, and yeah, but this is where I feel happy and I'm all right. I love what I do so much, and I I think you know, I'm very fortunate. I never live a boring life, but when I get the balance of work and home life right, I feel really I feel the best.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Well, let's go straight to the middle now of your second food memory. What's your second food memory, Sophie?

SPEAKER_03 19:59

Yeah, and actually it ties in nicely with what we've been talking about, actually, because it's about um family. So we we have we actually take quite a lot of holidays together as a family, and I don't just mean the seven of us, I mean uh every summer we go to Italy, and invariably that's that's us lot, maybe some of the boys might have a mate uh that comes out as well, and then there'll be my mum, my brother, my sister, her husband, their baby. So there can be quite a big group of us, maybe like 12 or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

So the von traps on steroid.

SPEAKER_03 20:34

Exactly. And uh this is something we've been doing for years, and there's a place in Italy, so just south of the Amalfi coast. Um, there's a place called uh Santa Maria de Castillabate, and there's a little resort there that we first went to when I was probably oh gosh, probably about 10 or something, 11. And then we've we've gone back again when I was maybe a teenager, and then again in my early 20s, and then again uh with as a whole bigger, bigger family, and there's a little beach cafe there where the food is so good. So I wanted to pick one of the things from there, and actually I'm really happy just having like spaghetti, like like Pomodoro, like something very simple, lovely glass of greffo de turfo. You sat there in your swimsuit, you've got sand on your feet, you're on plastic chairs, you're looking out over the ocean, so it's incredibly chilled, and just everything feels safe, smells perfect, you know, like you're just very happy in your world, all surrounded, all a bit busy, kids wanting ice creams, you know, all that kind of stuff. It's fun.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Is there music in that moment for you when you're watching all your family members around and you're just are you do you have that opportunity to step back and kind of watch them perform? Not not perform, but just be.

SPEAKER_03 21:59

Well, I don't know. Specifically in that little beach place, but I do know that when we're when we're all together, like when our like our family holidays in Italy, as they stand, there's always a playlist, and yeah, we'll sing along to stuff, we'll talk about we're all into our music anyway, so we'll play each other songs. Songs are also a big way. We remember John, my stepdad, and my brother and sister's dad. So I feel like, yeah, music's it's just such a clever thing, and I do I've always felt like it's such a privilege that that happens to be my where I find my happy place, and also it's my work because I feel like music for people occupies a space in their world that is so unique because you know, people will choose a first dance at their wedding, they'll have a song they want played at their funeral, they'll have a song that reminds them of going to university or a friend, or and and you don't there's no other art form that is used so casually to express and remember so much. You know, you you wouldn't say it would be unusual if people said, Oh, at my wedding, I'm I want to make sure this painting is on the wall somewhere, or I want to make sure we read everybody reads this passage. But music, now that's the thing where you can share it and it and bring in new memories into something that already meant something to you. And I think I think that's glorious. I mean, what a treat.

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Yeah. How would you describe your relationship with music? Because from where I'm listening, it's joy. Like every time you you talk about a piece of music, it just brings you joy.

SPEAKER_03 23:39

Yeah, and it and it empowers me and makes me feel a bit less on my own with things. So if I, you know, I remember the first time when I was a teenager and I felt like I had a broken heart or whatever, and suddenly all those songs about heartache, I was like, they how did they know? How did everybody know how I was feeling? Like it's extraordinary, isn't it? And I think um it's yeah, I just think it's it's that's what the that's how the art exists and also is a reminder that so many things can evolve and shift, but human emotions, art and all those things doesn't date like that. When it's when it's speaking from that place, it doesn't it doesn't age. It's actually an eternal. We are quite eternal beings in that way, aren't we?

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Do you yes, we are, but do you do you think you make space for music to find you, or do you go out looking for it?

SPEAKER_03 24:36

Well, I think for me I try and do a bit of both, really, because left to my own devices, I can be such a creature of habit and just listen to the same stuff over and over. So I do try to actually actively engage with new stuff, and you know, I'm I I think everybody's wired a bit to, you know, it's quite a unique wiring of what they like. But my my eldest is really good at listening to new music all the time. Richard will introduce me to new stuff, so they kind of help me out there, really. But I am one of those people that's become a bit like, what's that song we listened to? Who's this by again? Like I just don't retain information very well. But uh yeah, I love I love having soundtracks for things, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

And then you recently, well not recently, a couple of years ago, brought it all together with your cookbook.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Love Food Family Recipes from the Kitchen Disco. So let's start with what is the kitchen disco.

SPEAKER_03 25:30

Well, yeah, because this is my third food memory as well. I was gonna choose a recipe that's in that book, but also links to music. So the kitchen disco, which we obviously did not invent, but um became part of our world uh in a really meaningful way when we were in the first phase of UK lockdown, and Richard and I were so at home, plenty of kids everywhere. The youngest was like 14 months, up to I think a 15-year-old sunny, going stir crazy, feeling discombobulated, heavy news outside, and we broadcast on my Instagram uh a live stream of me singing some disco some of my songs, a couple of covers, dressed in a sequin cat suit, and just put it out there like, okay, everyone's welcome. Let's have a let's have a kitchen disco together. It just made us feel better. So that tonic was there from the immediate, but also it quickly formed this community of people where you know people could be joining us on a Friday night. We were always fully live, it was quite chaotic. But we would do it every Friday night, and in total, we did about 20 of these discos. Just uh, you know, if you're around, put it on, put it on in the background, put it on with friends. And we've heard from people who would all watch together with their families or they would all tune in together with their friends, and it just became this little community, and it it meant a lot. So that was inviting people into our home in a way we'd never done before. I mean, I I'm always so private, but it was like this is not the time for that. This is more important. So yeah, that became a big part.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

What did you feel it was a time for?

SPEAKER_03 27:15

For being I don't know, for for connection, I think. For the connection over over closed doors. I just wanted to to feel part of something with people and to let to release the pressure cooker together. It felt important and it felt like it really helped. I don't really know how I would have got what my experience of lockdown would have been like without it.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

So what was in what was in the cookbook?

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Once we were doing the discos and it it went a little bit bonkers and we amassed a huge community by the end, actually. It was really extraordinary. Uh actually meant that a really lovely uh publishing house called Octopus got in touch about doing a cookbook. But what they didn't know is that we had ha we'd already tried. So in 2017, Richard and I had pitched uh a cookbook idea that we had with about 80 different recipes we'd sort of accumulated because we both love food, it's such a big part of our lives, it's such a love language and our world, and also we're surrounded by people who really love it too. So we always wanted the cookbook, if we ever got the opportunity to do one, to have you know some of his dad's recipes, Tony to Sony with the chef, have some of my mum in there, have my brother in there, the kid's first nanny, Claire, she had to be in there because she always cooks, so her cake, just stuff like that. Just wanted it to be really inclusive and convivial and chilled and generous and very family. And so we'd already started compiling all that, and Optopus were brilliant because they were like, Oh, yeah, okay, great. But the thing that had just been the precursor to the pitch is that when I made my let me think, sixth album, I made an album called Familia when I did that record. Uh, so I made the album, we recorded it in two weeks in this lovely little studio, and I just had my fourth baby, so he was 16 weeks old when we went into the studio, and so I was obviously singing my vocals and and um being present for every day of recording, but I wasn't always needed in the studio for the you know, the recording piano or guitar or whatever. So I would cook and I'd cooked supper every day for everybody the engineers, the producers, the musicians, we'd all sit. So Richard was one of the musicians, our friend Ed was one of the musicians, and we'd all sit around the table in the evening and I'd lay out whatever I'd cooked that day with this little four-month-old baby, and it just felt incredibly wholesome. So, one of the recipes in the cookbook that I was gonna suggest as my brood memory is um this cod and chorizo stew because I know that was one of the dishes I cooked during that time making the album. So the cod and chorizo stew is something I would call like a cozy midweek supper, that kind of vibe. Um, you can make it really quite quite quickly, you know, from sort of starting to on the table in about half an hour, 40 minutes, and you've got a delicious uh tomato-based stew that's got in it uh like fennel seeds and um garlic, a bit of chili. Uh you can put some wine in here if you want to kind of rich it, make it a bit richer, some stock, uh celery, carrots, uh your cod fillets, and some chorizo. And like I always do it with couscous, and it's nice with like some bread and some chopped parsley on top and a squeeze of lemon. Yum. So after that, we were like, maybe we can make a cookbook here because we both love it. You know, we we'd I'd cooked for this for the band, I'd cooked as part of this record process, and it was just as I said, yeah, very, very wholesome, but also very us. So that was that's kind of what was part of like the little seed of what became the cookbook.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

I'm listening to you tell these stories, and I'm thinking, where does she get the energy, the capacity, and the brain space to get all of these things to happen, as well as being amongst it.

SPEAKER_03 31:14

I don't worry, I'm also really I can be very lazy. Yeah, but lazy and uh I've got lots of support, you know. But you know, I think if you love what you're up to, you make more time for it. It's it's much easier to be busy if you're into it all.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

But the most wonderful thing, in amongst all these projects, you're in your fifth year of your own podcast, spinning plates. Now, this is a wonderful project that I love listening to, that people get addicted to. And you've had some great people. One of the st uh I think one of the standout interviews for me was the woman that you'd interviewed who'd just discovered the doctor, or was it the who just discovered the COVID vaccine?

SPEAKER_03 31:55

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dr. Catherine Green.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

Yeah, when we were in the thick of it and she too was a single mum, and then she was just walking through and kind of giving us that light, that hope that there was we were looking for at the end of the tunnel.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

And it's fascinating. I do, and I remember her saying that sometimes she'd come home from being, you know, late at work and someone would have left a little meat meal on her doorstep, like her neighbours were looking out for her. But also, I think from my point of view, the podcast is has been such a wonderful thing. It's given me loads. It it definitely informed my record, perimenopop, like 100%. I wouldn't have made that record if I hadn't felt emboldened by these all this wisdom. But also, it's sometimes an opportunity, yeah, to you know, pick a little soapbox under some really interesting stories. And um, and I thought that was fascinating. And you know, some some people have been quite were quite skeptical, weren't they? Do you remember about vaccines? Yeah. So I thought rather rather than me go on my socials and post saying like, guys, I've I I think it's cool. Why not why don't I get the authority? Like, if you want, if you're cynical, if you're unsure, listen to someone who knows their stuff. Be reassured by this expertise and stick around for the humanity of it and the story behind it, because there's whole worlds out there. There's there's worlds behind everyone, right? That telling telling these stories resonate with me because I think sometimes when you're uh a parent, you can feel aspects of yourself are really invisible. So it's nice to share that, share that, but also to feel less alone. I mean, for me, it's it's been working women who happen to be mothers because I'm one of them. But I always have in my mind everybody might be listening to this. It might be people who made a decision not to have children, it might be people who are raising children in a in a way that's outside of the typical. It might be someone who's curious about what those, what it might happen if that became part of their world. So I try to I try to represent it in in that term. And also I love talking to people about their work. I love hearing how people got into their work and what their work means to them.

SPEAKER_02 34:12

And was that the drive do you what was what was the driver for spinning plate?

SPEAKER_03 34:16

A friend of mine called Chris, who funnily enough was a big part of Kitchen Disco because he was running my socials at the time. So Richard and I would record these, but we'd live stream our discos, and then he was the one who would put them up online. So we are like, we still say like Kitchen Disco forever. It's just the three of us. But um, he said to me you should do a podcast. And even at that time in 2020, I was like, everybody's got a flipping podcast. But he said, just try it. So I thought, okay, so I kind of had a thought, what would be a nice conversation? And I thought, you know what, I'd love to speak to other other mums, other women, and find out how they balance work and and family life because I'd always struggled with it myself. I'd always felt a lot of guilt. I'd always felt uh a little bit like um I didn't see, I didn't hear many stories that sounded like mine or or or or I was curious about exploring more of the detail. And as it happened, I was also just about to turn 40. And I think these conversations have also helped me with what it is to be in my 40s as well, because invariably a lot of the women I speak to are not sometimes they're new mothers, but quite often their kids are maybe they're maybe reflecting a bit more on those early years. So invariably a lot of the guests are around my age, or someone's a bit older. And there's something lovely about sitting with someone 10, 20 years older than me and hearing, hearing all about their take on motherhood and how it's changed over the years and what they value.

SPEAKER_02 35:46

Who have we got to look forward to in the next couple of episodes?

SPEAKER_03 35:50

Who have I been recording? I just spoke last week to oh, a wonderful woman who's um she's a trained trauma counsellor for first responders, but she's also a broadcaster. Uh, she's called Sean, and she has she does a podcast called Life Changing on Radio 4. And she is honestly, I like when she was talking, I felt so calm when I was listening to her voice. And she was really fascinating. And uh then I also spoke to a firefighter who was a model for 20 years, who then uh retrained and is now a firefighter. So she was really cool. Um yeah, I've got a few things coming up. That was just last week. I did 10 for a series and I released them. I've done I've done a few from Australia as well. Uh Natalie and Brilliant's uh been a guest. Um Danny Minogue, Nervos, Anna Luno. I'm trying to think. Actually, loads, yeah. Lots of antipathy and music artists.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

You've chosen Save the Children as your social cause. Why have you chosen Save the Children?

SPEAKER_03 37:00

I think you know, if you're doing something in the public eye, you get uh approached by different charities about lending support, which I think is again an amazing privilege. And for me, it was really important that anything I got on board with was something that really resonated and I could speak from the heart about. So the things I've aligned myself with are to do with the arts and to do with children. I believe so strongly in both, and obviously there's lots of crossover there. But for children, it's obviously wildly significant because they do not they cannot advocate for themselves. So as adults, we have a responsibility to help make sure that every child grows up in a safe childhood, and you know, all their basic needs are always met, but they're also, as I say, given uh access to education, uh food, water, roof over their heads, safe family life, home life. And um so Save the Children is an amazing charity. It's in over 120 countries worldwide actually that they're active. And through them they've I've been I've done trips. I've been to India, uh most recently I went to Poland and I just I think it's it can be really hard because you know, if you're raising kids, you invariably put yourself in you know, in their shoes and you think, oh, what opportunities have they got? How what what's the difference here between how my children are being raised? Like my kids are so lucky, but you have to be also take a lot of comfort for the fact that every day there's so many incredible people and organizations making sure things are getting a little bit better, every day, a little bit better. So yeah, it's um it's something that's it's a very a very easy, privileged thing for me to be involved with.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

For more information on Sophie's social calls, head to the website save the children.org. In the spirit of Martha Stewart and her kitchen meets life wisdom, we have a tradition here at Three Food Memories where our previous guest passes their life and guidance to you. Our previous um guest was Elizabeth Newton. And her advice to you is slow down, be present, and enjoy cooking. You're not picking up the master chef, you're not in a restaurant, you are cooking for people that love you or for yourself. And cooking for yourself is one of life's greatest pleasures. Is cooking for you one of next to music or alongside music or hand in hand with music one of your life's pleasures?

SPEAKER_03 39:43

I think being cooked for, I would say definitely. I think um I totally understand where Elizabeth is coming from, and I do think that occasionally food has presented stress, more stress sometimes. Um, but I think she's absolutely right that when you take the brakes off and remember what is the point of of the meal and what atmosphere you're creating and what are you hoping to what are you hoping to achieve. The meal you eat is is just part of what you're putting around people when they come into your home. So, you know, I think as she it's so long as it's infused with the good stuff, that's the takeaway, isn't it? They're not gonna be like um, but I have such a lovely evening seeing my friend, but I'm really gonna remember they didn't put quite enough salt on that. Do you know what I mean? It's like it's just not it's not where the emphasis is. So I think yeah, to enjoy the act of it is a really important thing. I would agree with that. Yeah, and keep it simple. Simple is great. Whatever makes you less stressful, just do that.

SPEAKER_02 40:45

So from the performance stage of your life, what kitchen life advice do you have for our next guest?

SPEAKER_03 40:51

Well, I'm gonna borrow a bit, I'm afraid, but it's something that I really do believe in because sometimes people say they can't cook. And when I first left home, even though I used to cook alongside my mum and my step-mum, um, because I grew up in quite traditional houses where it was more the, yeah, my mum and my stepmum that would do the lion's share of cooking. Unlike here, actually, where Richard does more than me. Um, but uh I I would so I was a fairly confident cook and I already enjoyed cooking. But when I left home, my mum gave me a Nigel Slater cookbook, and I literally would have it by my bed because I just Which one? So this would have been it was a it has a yellow cover, it's nearly falling apart. I think it might just be called real cooking. It really is something, you know, we're going back like 25 years or so, and um uh I I used to just read it for fun. I literally I remember one night I went on Radio 4 where you could read aloud some a poem or a bit of prose, and I read aloud his recipe for roast potatoes because I just love how he talks about food. But he says at the beginning of his cookbook that uh you know anyone who can make a cup of tea can cook, it's just ingredients and timing, and I think it's a lovely bit of gentle wisdom, but it's also slightly. I I basically when I say it to people, I'm sometimes saying it in a way where I'm slightly like, come on, like don't just say I can't cook. If you say that, of course you'll believe it. But if you can make me a cup of tea, then I think you can cook me something too. So I've used it as an opportunity to encourage it.

SPEAKER_02 42:33

A bit of a needle. Sophie, one of my biggest wishes is for you to do a duet with Pink. Because if God is a DJ, then it's definitely murder on the dance floor. Sophie Alex Becta, thank you so much for being part of Free Food Memories with me. Thank you so much. Oh, I do this episode of Three Food Memories. We saw the spread of slightly lava. Check out our hundreds of black episodes and check them on YouTube as well. Just search for three food memories.