Marketing & Mayhem
Two gals talking marketing, life, and all the mayhem in between.
Marketing & Mayhem
Food Freedom, Body Image & Inner Strength with Registered Dietitian, Eden Morris
What if the key to thriving as a female athlete lies in embracing your inner strength rather than chasing external validation? Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Eden Morris, a registered dietitian and certified intuitive eating counselor, as she unpacks her journey in the world of health and wellness. With a rich background in psychology and nutrition, Eden illuminates the challenges female athletes face, from under-fueling linked to Relative Energy Deficiency in Sport (RED-S) to the societal pressures surrounding body image. Her story of moving beyond diet culture to become a champion for food freedom and self-care offers valuable insights for anyone striving to balance performance with personal well-being.
Eden’s candid reflections on the role of coaches in shaping young athletes’ relationships with food and body image serve as a powerful reminder of the impact supportive mentorship can have. Together, we address self-limiting beliefs, family dynamics, and the importance of setting boundaries to foster healthier relationships with ourselves and others. Through personal anecdotes and listener stories, we navigate the complexities of holiday eating dynamics and societal expectations, encouraging a wholesome approach to nourishment that celebrates inner health over aesthetics.
As we round out our discussion, Eden shares her experiences navigating the dating world post-divorce, highlighting the importance of authenticity and self-confidence. The journey of redefining health and self-worth is ongoing, influenced by cultural narratives and personal growth. Tune in to explore how embracing intuition and community support can transform both body and mind, leaving behind the shackles of societal expectations. This episode promises a transformative perspective on nourishing your body and embracing your true self in all its diversity.
Eden Morris
Registered Dietician
@gardenofeden_rd
www.tetonperformancenutrition.com
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Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843
Welcome back.
Speaker 3:Welcome Welcome.
Speaker 2:Welcome. We have a guest with us. We have Eden Morris with us. I looked back on our Instagram. Do you know I started following you in 2000? It's 22. So two years ago. Oh yeah, Thank you.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:There's a new little hack on Instagram where you can like click on the, and so I went back to look, because we've gone back and forth when I've like shared different things, but I was like, oh my gosh, we had like a little Instagram. I've been like indulging myself in all of your information for over two and a half years.
Speaker 1:Well, I also like when people have followed me for a while, because I feel like my messages have evolved, like you've seen things that I've been learning, even as a dietitian right, I'm like nine years into this career and I'm still learning, and I feel like my message reflects that it changes. I go back and I look at some things from 2021. I'm like ew, but I'm glad that people have stuck with me as I've learned and unlearned and changed my messaging, because I feel like, as entrepreneurs and marketing, you have to be able to do that, but I also feel like, as a health professional, you should be doing that too.
Speaker 2:Well, and so that's part of why you're here. I think I'm going to give you the. So okay, we have Eden Morris. You're a registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, a female athlete in RED. What's RED's recovery? How do you what?
Speaker 1:is that Relative energy deficiency in sport? Basically it can. It can be in conjunction with an eating disorder or away from it, and it's the consequences of what happens. When you're an active person, you don't even have to identify as an athlete, but if you under fuel for a really long time, it's basically. There's a syndrome that includes a lot of health complications and that's called REDS.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's really interesting.
Speaker 3:Very interesting.
Speaker 2:And food freedom advocate. So it makes so much sense that your message has changed, because I feel like the message has changed and evolved a lot over the last five years, and I don't know if that's because we're both 40 or if it's because we're looking for more information or because, intuitively, we know that what we were doing or what we were taught maybe wasn't necessarily where we needed to be, and we keep finding these little like piecemeal scraps. And then we find people like you and we're like okay, wait, we need to stay here for a little bit. Like this seems like something that I need more of, but I do think the message has evolved a lot in the last five years.
Speaker 1:Well, I hope so. I think that ebbs and flows. We've gone forward and backward a handful of times, depends on what kind of messaging we're talking about. But yeah, I do think it's changed a lot since I was a teenager, since I was a young college athlete. I definitely feel like they're A good example. Is the Olympics this year right? How much female empowerment messages were around that and I was like this is amazing. I wish I had this when I was 16 years old. I'm kind of jealous of these teenagers growing up with this, because I loved seeing the body diversity and how much it was celebrated on social media. Now, don't get me wrong, we're way more valuable than our bodies, but to see like, hey, anybody in any body shape can be an athlete and be at the Olympics, it was really nice to see.
Speaker 2:The ages and we were talking about this the other day. But even the gymnast looking powerful. I mean I watched the Simone Biles documentary and it you know Dominique Dawes is on there talking about how disgusting it was that we watched Carrie Strug do that last ball and like how we probably should have been a lot more ashamed and instead we made it this big patriotic event. But like ultimately that was a good, almost like example of how out of control we were at that time around women, women athlete, female athletes, uh, bodies just in general, or like how we treated ourselves, what it looked like to be a good girl basically yeah, and it's like what is a good girl?
Speaker 1:I think I spent so much of my adolescence and my 20s like trying to be a good girl and then you get to this point of like I can't do it anymore Like I'm we're there, we're there.
Speaker 1:I was on this women's panel in March and I said something in this speech and it was basically about redefining health in our community from the outside versus looking at what's actually good for us on the inside. But something I said and I feel like it's just exactly what you said with that example of Carrie doing that it's like she did that because, to her, the name on the uniform was more important than the athlete underneath the leotard. Yeah, because she had been taught that. And I feel like, as athletic women or just women in general, we're taught that the exterior is more important than what's inside, and that's not true. But unpacking that takes some really hard work. But that's what I realized as a college athlete the way I treated my body, I treated it like Texas A&M is more important than Eden, and you're taught that, right, I'm supposed to perform and do the best. Yeah, that's a big name school too, can you kind of?
Speaker 3:tell us your story from the beginning, eden. That way, like those who don't follow, you know what that looks like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we just kind of dove in there. But yeah, so I'm sorry. And I became a dietitian because I experienced pretty severe health consequences from under fueling, because I believed all of the diet bullshit that everybody believes still Right. But I realized that my senior year of college that food was about something deeper than what you put into your body. It's actually about your relationship with food and how young you are when you start to believe certain things about food.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so I got my undergraduate degree in psychology from Texas A&M, and I wanted to originally be a therapist, and then I saw this amazing overlap between nutrition and psychology and I was like I'm gonna get a master's degree in nutrition. So I went to Georgia State in Atlanta, also when I was graduating from Texas A&M. I'm like I am going home, I'm getting out of this state. I am from Georgia, I am from near Chattanooga, tennessee. I should have a very thick Southern accent, and I don't, which is always throws people off a little bit, but I was in choir growing up and then I took German in high school and college. It just like killed my accent, wow. So I got a master's in nutrition and, honestly, throughout that master's degree though, I was like I've made the wrong decision. This is not what I want to do. The job that I want doesn't exist. What am I going to do when I get out of school? And I ended up getting a clinical job at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta and actually that job was incredible for me because it showed me you'll hear intuitive eating dietitians or anti dieteticians talk about social determinants of health, and it's things that impact your health beyond food and beyond movement, your access to health care, your community, your genetics, those kinds of things. And that job showed me that I did outpatient nutrition classes and I would see people who resided in much bigger bodies than me, who were doing their damn best right, and it wasn't just about food, it was something deeper. So, even though it wasn't the job I wanted, I'm really grateful.
Speaker 1:I had that opportunity and then at the time, me and my ex-husband were living in Atlanta and then he got a job with Texas Instruments in Dallas and I'm sure many of your listeners have experienced burnout and I got a job at just a regional hospital as a clinical dietitian and I was just running myself into the ground. I was supposed to be like an as needed dietitian and I was hitting overtime because I didn't know how to say no to people. I didn't know how to be like I can't do it anymore. And then eventually I quit my husband like he was, like just quit, please. Like, please, quit, you're really unhappy. I just it's fine. So I quit and I ended up living in Jackson Hole for a summer season.
Speaker 1:We honeymooned here in 2016 and I was like, oh my God, I love it. It feels like I haven't been able to breathe for like 10 years since I left rural Georgia, and this reminds me of where I grew up. So I wasn't using my degree, anything at all, and I lived here for a summer season and I just felt so happy and I wasn't doing anything that had anything to do with the first half of my story that I told you. But I think I just was like grateful to be outside. I was grateful to be somewhere where you can literally just get away from people if you need to. Yet you're seeing people from all over the world. People from all over the world come to visit Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park. So that was cool too. So there's still culture here, which is nice.
Speaker 1:But I ended up moving back to Dallas. My ex-husband and I kind of pulled apart and we ended up splitting up in 2018. And I moved to Jackson. I was like I'm just going to start over, I'm going to pack up my Jeep and move there, and then was just doing odd jobs for a while. And then COVID happened.
Speaker 3:And I was like I guess I'll use my degree, I guess I'll do what I set out to do Eye roll. They came full circle.
Speaker 1:Since we're here, yeah, the reason why I wasn't using this I was afraid of starting my own thing. I was afraid of really using my own voice. And then it was. You get to this point where you're tired of being afraid. It's like I'd rather move forward and be afraid and just figure it out. And now here we are, four years later. I used to teach weight loss. I don't teach intentional weight loss anymore. I am a certified intuitive eating counselor and I do eating disorder treatment and recovery and teen athletes, adults and I also do sports nutrition as well, so, but the combination is really rewarding and cool. And don't get me wrong If somebody wants to lose weight, I'm not here to shame them for that. My job is to help us get a little bit deeper into why they want that.
Speaker 2:Right, I feel like that. I mean right, absolutely. There's a million ways to lose weight, but there's not a million answers to what you're answering. Yeah, right, yeah for sure. So who do you primarily like? What does a client list look for you, look like for you right now?
Speaker 1:Oh, so I was. I'm actually in like a little bit of a transition here, so I am currently transitioning out of working for find food freedom, and they are a wonderful company. Highly recommend following them on Instagram. They're a team of certified intuitive eating counselors, but I needed something with a little bit more stability. So they're an amazing company, but I needed something a little bit more stable.
Speaker 1:So we work with clients all over the world to help them adopt intuitive eating principles and or to help them recover from a disordered relationship with food or an eating disorder. So I work with adults. So, for example, I saw a woman who was 50 yesterday and we talked about the decision that she feels to try a GLP-1 medication or to invest in weight loss surgery, and so really the conversation was like tell me what you're actually looking for. Let's dive into this a little bit deeper. Let's talk about the health consequences of this. I want to give you all the information to where you feel like you can walk into a doctor's appointment and knowing all these things, and do what's best for you without judgment.
Speaker 1:And then I also, this summer, started working with teenage athletes. So I've worked with a range of like 13 to 16 year olds. Right now my preference is 16 and older, so it depends with that one how supportive are the parents and how willing is a family to be present in the therapeutic process with nutrition therapy and with psychotherapy, because most of my teenage athletes work with a therapist and a dietitian. So with them, what I'm really helping them do is understand how to fuel their body effectively, because those diet culture messages get to us very, very early, as we know, and I mean as a 15 year old I had no idea how to fuel my body as an elite softball player, no idea at all. So I try to think about, like when I'm like, am I reaching them? I feel like they just I don't know. But I'm like Eden, you would have loved having a dietitian at age 15, 16 years old. So I'm trying to be that for them. So I work with a wide range of people, so I hope that kind of gave you that range there.
Speaker 2:Well and I back to what you just said, to like I feel like when I was in sports we were both athletic I loved my coaches so much, like my coaches and my teachers had such an impact on me. So there's no way that in another space that you're creating, where you're still giving them that important messaging, you're not having an impact because those people were really the people I looked to Like. I mean, I hate how influenced by diet culture we all have. We've all been victims of it, right? So that voice is like this other, really noisy, obnoxious, like distracting voice. But I can still remember some of the key things that my coaches gave me that no one else gave me. I didn't learn it in school, I didn't learn it from my parents. They might've been saying it, but because a coach said it to me in a different way and in a different place. However, that perfect chemistry of keeping the message, I'm sure you're having an impact. I would have loved that as a kid, for sure.
Speaker 1:I love what you said because I've actually talked with my own coaches who knew me in middle school, high school. My private catching coach called me a few weeks ago and obviously, if you follow me on Instagram, I'm pretty outspoken about some of the things that happened to me at Texas A&M and she was like are you ever worried about retaliation? I'm like, no, I'm not. But then the conversation shifted to well, what can I do to help athletes as a coach? And this particular coach of mine now works for the St Louis Cardinals. She's a female coach in that organization, which I find amazing. Yeah, but I told her I was like do not comment on your athletes' bodies. Focus on their performance, do not comment on their body, because that's what she did.
Speaker 3:bodies focus on their performance, do not comment on their body.
Speaker 1:And she works with men, right, and I think there's also the misconception that men don't struggle with these, these things that we're talking about, and that is not true. I work with men. They struggle too and they deserve a space to talk about it. But I even to her I was like, yeah, don't comment on your male athletes bodies. Yeah, focus on their performance.
Speaker 1:And if you are concerned about something with their body or sports nutrition and how they're fueling themselves, refer to a sports dietitian. And most of those organizations have a sports dietitians. They have a team of them, it's not just one. They have like five, six sports dietitians. So if a coach is listening to this and you see something with an athlete in their body, maybe it's changed or maybe you're worried about how they're fueling themselves. I mean, first of all, like it's not necessarily your place to treat them or to give any recommendations on how to fuel themselves. You can say I'm concerned or something else, but you can also. There are plenty of sports dietitians across the country that work virtually. That would be happy to speak to your athlete.
Speaker 3:But I feel like everybody should adapt that principle. It's not just coaches, like, if you've got opinions about somebody's bodies, let's keep it to yourself, you don't have to say it. I mean, can we all agree? I mean truly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that starts so young. And when I ask people and when we do body image work, I usually ask people like how old were you when you first heard a comment about your body, positive or negative, the one that you really remember? And nine times out of 10, somebody is younger than 10 years old. And then I asked how old were you when you started to feel ashamed of your body? When was the first time a comment was made that made you feel ashamed? And oftentimes it's middle school, it's just it starts so early. And so I mean I had a teenager at that panel I talked about in March.
Speaker 1:Like after we, there was another dietician, there was two, there was a therapist, there's another intuitive eating counselor and a doctor, and after we all gave our spiels and talked about our stories, a 16 year old submitted anonymously. Like what do I do when people make comments about my body? And like the first thing I said was well, first of all, no one should be making a comment about your body unless you ask for their opinion, and most times we don't, Nope, but we haven't seen them in a long time. Like Thanksgiving is coming up, you know. You see those family members. Oh, my God, you look good and it seems well-intentioned.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, the consuming is like the perfect whatever, of like how I mean you literally see it ramp up from even like people like you, like I see you guys take the other stance of like okay, we're getting ready, you're going to be at the table.
Speaker 2:Aunt Susan, with no filter, who thinks she's so funny, is going to make a comment about everybody's plate and body and this and that, about everybody's plate and body and this and that Like I mean I follow a fair amount of people with not necessarily the same mindset, but similar for sure, because I like to make sure that that's where my mind is and not down the other, like how to lose 30 pounds in 30 days, rabbit hole, and I've even gone as far as to like silence those things in my settings Cause I just don't want it around me.
Speaker 2:Um, it takes two seconds for me to fall victim to it or did, especially in the past. But, like those people are coming. We are less than 30 days away from your aunt Susan saying something wild and feeling fairly secure doing it. And I was just going to say back when you said that the coach asked you if you were afraid of retaliation gosh, can we just like take two seconds to be so annoyed by the fact that the really loud people always get to be loud and they're almost always the really inappropriate people. I'm like, why do we have to be afraid to say actually you can't say that at my dinner table, or actually it's my story to tell?
Speaker 3:So it's the good girl thing. It's back to the good girl thing.
Speaker 2:All this fear about like retaliation, like if it happened to you, it's your story to tell, like well, I had this even in my divorce, but we had to go through this with both lawyers, cause you obviously can't say anything like super damaging. But there was a moment where the other team wanted me to basically sign this situation where I would not even say the word divorce on any of my platforms, like a silencer, like don't write a book, don't anything, don't talk about it, and my attorney was like actually, that's your story to tell, as long as you're not saying that this person is, whatever you're allowed to say, your side. And it's a weird balance.
Speaker 1:So I get it. I'm like yeah, I mean being able to talk about that is very important to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the amount of different ways that people I won't even say men try to silence us. It's so hard to be you and go and say the thing about Texas A&M or even about diet culture. Diet culture is big money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to lie. It's like I know that I could probably make more money if I was selling lies, if I was selling the diet wheel. You know like, okay, I'm going to be better tomorrow, we are, we're going to do it Right. And then you get really, really strict. You like are bad. And then it's just like this total, like wheel right, like there's so much money to be made off of that. Actually, let me rephrase that there is so much money to be made off of women's insecurities on things that we have been made to believe that we should feel bad about.
Speaker 2:Like having a loud voice. Yes, the lie. We had a guest on and it airs here in a hot second. But she was like we have been taught so many lies all of our lives, so she helps people. She's a life coach. Unpack the lie after lie, whether it's you don't have the right figure or you're too loud or you don't deserve this, like that's like literally her life's goal is to help people understand that that's actually a lie. And it wasn't necessarily a lie you told yourself, but life told it to you and then you believed it. Yeah, I mean gosh. Okay, sorry, I had to take a second.
Speaker 1:With the retaliation. I just said it was interesting to be fair to this coach. What I told her is like when I lived in the state of Texas. Yes, I was afraid. I I was afraid because there's so much money in that university, right, and so the athletic programs and there's a lot of power there, and I was afraid. And then I got to, I've moved to Wyoming. I'm like, and if they come after me in Wyoming then they're wasting their resources, and it just was like. And also I graduated in 2012 and that's what I told her. I was like, you know, it's been so long. I think that, like, they have a different coach now. It's a different program. They're not. They're not going to come after me.
Speaker 2:Also, the Texas A&M Aggie nutrition account follows me. So to me that's like no, they like what I'm putting out. Well, it's no different than the gymnastics team right, getting an entirely new doctor for obvious reasons, but like watching her with her athletes, like it's okay to be, like that wasn't our best work this time around. We've got somebody who we believe in so much and it's going to look a lot different for you guys. Like I mean, we've all grown a lot back to how we started this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean the other thing. I read a book called Good for a Girl Running in a Man's World by Lauren Fleshman. I highly recommend it to anybody who has ever been a runner or even a female athlete in a competitive arena, which a lot of people have played sports in general, even if you don't consider yourself an athlete, reading books like that like it made me feel seen, and I'm not a runner. But she highlighted, like the biological differences between men and women and I don't think that women reach their athletic peak until they're out of college actually, and so they're in their mid twenties, almost like early thirties, and I would say that's true for me, where I'm like I am a much better athlete than I was in college. I had not reached my peak and I'm emotionally way more mature and can handle shit when people say shit to me and I couldn't handle it then and I think that makes sense. Like you come out of, you know, high school and most girls like we so insecure in high school and that's why we talk shit about each other. We're not nice. We also try to like maintain the good girl image, but we're not nice and we know we're not nice, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So I went to college and I just really didn't believe in myself self. Still, I mean, I went to Texas A&M, got this full ride scholarship and I still was like, yeah, but I don't deserve to be here. That's kind of how I felt. And like in my 30s I'm like. I mean, I was kind of struggling with what you said earlier, like your, your um, your guest, that's a life coach. It was talking about those, those self-limiting beliefs.
Speaker 1:This happened to me recently, like this summer. I was kind of like, if you guys follow me on Instagram, like you know how much content I create, you know how many free, have a free newsletter, and I had this self-defeating thought of it's not enough, you're not doing enough. And and I got really I was like, okay, where did this come from? I'm going to dive into it with my therapist. I still see a therapist. I started seeing a therapist during my divorce. Wouldn't be who I am without her. And but then the flip of that was shut up. Eden, you do deserve this. You have built this. You literally started over. You created your own platform. You worked on yourself to attract a partner who treats you better than anyone else you've ever been with. You do deserve this and you are doing enough. And that translates to healing your relationship with food, or eating disorder recovery, because one of the most self-limiting beliefs is people are like I'm not enough as I am. Yeah, actually you are, so let's help you get there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I love that. When you first said the self-limiting belief from this summer, I was like, do you feel like it's not enough because the pond is so big about how many people are out there still struggling, or was it more like centered to you Because I could see both sides? I feel like I meet women every day where I'm like man, I can literally I know I'm impacted and I've already done a lot of work and I'm still struggling. But I can sit at lunch and be like I'm so glad I've gotten five steps past that, because that looks really scary. Or they'll say the thing, or you'll have dinner with your whoever. Actually, we had a listener.
Speaker 2:I'll use her example, so we're not using a family member here, she texted me on Sunday night and said her mother-in-law came over for dinner and actually she's a therapist but not a food therapist and her mother-in-law came over for dinner and on the way out commented on her 10 year old's figure and how much she had consumed at dinner. And she was like, thank God I know at least what I know, and not even from the intuitive eating side, but just from the family therapy and relationship therapy side, to be like. Actually, before we say goodbye, I want to address this. But she's like what a crappy way to have to say goodbye and then also what a crappy conversation to have to have right after. And she's like why is this?
Speaker 3:Why? I don't understand why.
Speaker 2:I know you probably already know who it is, but I was like, how did that just happen in the foyer of your home?
Speaker 1:You know, like I had a lot of practice with my oh, I'd be mean about in-laws, right, but like, in-laws are hard right, I think it's easier to set boundaries with your own parents than it is your in-laws, right. Because if you set a hard boundary with an in-law that impacts your relationship and it's like is your partner going to be on your side or are they going to be mad at you and I, um, I don't know. I, uh, I really I love my former in-laws. I think they are good people. But she did say some shit to me where I just was like I got to a point where she would say it in front of other people, right, and I knew that. Reacting in front of other like, for example, like at my bridal shower, there's some things that were said and a mom reached out to me on Facebook after. She was like you have so much grace and poise to sit through that and I was like do I? I just was like it's not going to help anybody if I lash out at her in front of everyone.
Speaker 2:But weren't you so validated by the fact that somebody saw that?
Speaker 1:Because at the time, my, my ex-husband, struggled to believe me that some of these things were being said and he didn't see his mom like that.
Speaker 1:I don't think a lot of kids necessarily, if you like, I don't know, you might not hear the things, cause you grew up with it and you're so used to it. And but to get a message from another mother who was there who was like I just was so impressed by how you could, like the things that she said were inappropriate and hurtful and you just kept your cool and kept going. Yeah, but another thing, like going back to my own relationship with my mom, when you talk about food and body comments, I think the person that a lot of people struggle with the most is their mother, because our mothers grew up in a different generation. Their mothers grew up in a different generation and I actually didn't realize this in college until a roommate pointed it out to me. But how normal it was for my mom to talk about her body and my body and compare our bodies. And if my mom listens to this, I love you.
Speaker 1:I know we were in a much different place, but like I didn't hear it as much because I was so used to it. And then a roommate of mine messaged me, like in 2022, I think. I put up a question box like, why do you follow me? And she said because I knew you then and it's so great to see you healthy now. And I thought that was amazing and I DM'd her. I was like thank you so much. That's such a nice thing to say. And you know, like there was one point where my roommate tried to have an intervention with me because I was so strict around food and like obsessively weighing myself, and it didn't go well because I was like well, everybody else is weighing themselves. Like I think a lot of people engage in disordered behaviors and it's just so normalized in our society.
Speaker 2:So when you're cornered about it, you're like well, what about her, and what about her? We're doing the same thing but this roommate.
Speaker 1:But you also don't want to get rid of it, cause that the the white knuckle grip that that scale has had on each of us at some point in our life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but what I was going to say is my roommate was like you know, when I met your mother, everything made sense why you were struggling so much, and I was like yeah she said your dad was lovely, could not have been kinder, and even though your mom was nice, she could not stop talking about your body in front of you, in front of other people, constant comments. And she was right and I was like, actually so fast forward a few years. I like decide I'm gonna go all in on recovery, I'm gonna go get my master's in nutrition. And the first person I started setting hard boundaries with was my own mother, and we're in a much different place and she still struggles with her own relationship with food and body, but she does not comment about my body anymore.
Speaker 2:I do. I really will say I feel so badly for the impact that especially our mothers were impacted by, like I, just I do watch it and I'm like I know, you know, we're all learning and we're like God, I hope we're this like middle generation and the next time and I don't know what social media will do to impact this, probably something bad, but like hope the next generation can be just a little bit safer from it, cause my mom didn't comment on my body but like I know how much her stuff haunts her and I don't even know that she realizes. Yeah, yeah, the commentary is so ingrained. You know, after every meal I'm never eating again. Or after every like, it's just like meal I'm never eating again. Or after every like, it's just like.
Speaker 2:And my dad has it too. My dad was athletic and so I, you know, I I was able to identify his disordered eating much earlier than I was able to understand hers, because you know he would always say like oh, I worked out, so I earned this meal. And you know, like all of these like typical dad things and I was always so proud of him for being so strong and also running, and like he would weightlift in my garage or in my basement with my uncles and like I like being around that part of it. You know I want to be around people who are confident in their own body. Not like this overconfidence or anything, but I do like this idea of like this is your person, you're your person, so like feeling grounded in that is a really safe place and like learning that is taking forever, yeah, but like we can do without the diet talk.
Speaker 2:We can be like let's right, raising our bodies and do this and every time we sit down to a meal, like nail, like railing off all the ways that you earned it, I'm like gosh, yeah, or you didn't earn it, yeah, you know. Like in the same way, like, oh, we're on vacation, I've got to get my run in before we go to dinner. I'm like you're saying it without saying it. What about the rest of us who don't want to run to earn our dinner?
Speaker 1:Or like I mean another. Going back to Thanksgiving, you have the turkey trot coming up right Like people are like, oh, I can have pumpkin pie, right, that is so common and I'm like you know. Here's a very basic tip for anybody that feels out of control around Thanksgiving. I love to use Thanksgiving as the classic like restrict binge example. Yeah, people will eat lights all throughout the day, they'll go for a run and they get to Thanksgiving dinner and they cannot control themselves, Right, like it's been. They eat way past fullness versus if we went for a run with our family, for the experience.
Speaker 1:We did the turkey trot because we wanted to go do something active that day to move our bodies to feel good and we fueled the run and we had a recovery snack after, and we had lunch and we had an afternoon snack. You sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, not being overly hungry, and you can have this mindful experience where you eat what you want and you leave what you don't, versus feeling like I've saved all day for this. I have to get everything in it's very different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's. This is like perfect timing for this conversation, because that like, literally, is the example and like and we talked about this- last year I was like over Thanksgiving I said, why is it this whole day just about eating?
Speaker 3:Like you can make this stuff every other day of the year, like I love you can go get it now. You can have green bean casserole tonight. Go grill a turkey breast, like what is the big deal? And I'm like I don't eat myself to the. I don't eat any more or any less on Thanksgiving than I do any other day of the year. I'm like I don't understand. I don't understand. I just don't get it.
Speaker 2:But I think that we're the exception to the rule. For sure in learn that Like. So I don't. Personally, I do not like being exploding full.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:Actually sends me into a full like panic.
Speaker 3:I just don't like feeling terrible it's like look, I love strict.
Speaker 1:Like it's basically like holding your breath for a really long time, like holding your breath as long as you can by not eating, by like skipping meals, doing these things, and then when you're around food, it's your body literally gasping for breath. It's like I need energy. You've been starving me all day. It's not, it's actually your body trying to protect you. But we won't have that response to food If the body is fueled consistently throughout the day because your brain is fueled and it's not lighting up these centers in your brain that make you crave carbohydrates, because the brain's preferred fuel source is glucose. Right, but if you have regular intervals throughout the day where you eat something, your brain isn't overactive around food and your body biologically isn't just screaming for food, so you can have a much more present mindful experience.
Speaker 3:But it is so tell us about what that looks like. What is a healthy quote unquote relationship with food? I mean, I don't know if we have the time, but all your knowledge.
Speaker 1:People think that a healthy relationship with food is eating healthy right, eating healthy. I'm eating good foods, I'm eating healthy. No, it's deeper than that. A healthy relationship with food is feeling at peace with yourself, regardless of what you're eating, knowing you're not a better or bad, like you're a good or bad person based off of of what you're eating, and knowing you're not a better or bad, like you're a good or bad person based off of the food you're eating.
Speaker 1:Somebody who is eating kale is not a better person than somebody who actually didn't skip dessert and actually enjoyed that with their family. They are morally the same. So to me, it's getting to a place where you understand that food does not have a moral like compass. It's not out to to. I like to kind of think of it from this place of you know like your carrot is not going to get up and have like a halo over it, or like another food is not going to like run and get you Right. So when you hear intuitive eating counselors and anti-diet dieticians say that there are no good or bad foods, it's what they mean. Like they don't, they can't like do things to you that are evil or well-intentioned. However, there are foods that have different nutrient values. I would never deny that to people. It's just that I can eat in a way where I include nutrient dense foods and less nutrient dense foods and feel at peace with all of those, and that is a healthy relationship with food.
Speaker 2:Is part of it, even just about, like, making sure that you're eating things that you like, because all of us, at one point or another, have absolutely eaten and lived on probably things that we hated.
Speaker 1:I made a post last year. It was like foods I hate and it was like foods I convinced myself I like. Yes, okay, that's what I'm trying to say Popular posts and I was like it had. I mean Halo Top almond butter, powdered peanut butter. I didn't like powdered peanut butter.
Speaker 2:I hated almond butter, right, I know.
Speaker 3:I feel that way about yogurt. I try every time. I hate yogurt, yeah, it's okay. And everybody's like, oh, eat yogurt, it's such a great.
Speaker 2:I'm like no, I hate it. I hate it with granola. I hate it with fruit, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. But that is like part of it. Right Is like I love that you you explained it so much better but like foods that I convinced myself I loved and there's, I just like there are just things where I'm just like not a chance in hell for me. It's like butternut squash. If one more person tries to shove it into something like a ravioli or make it like you haven't tried mine, I'm like I swear in my life. I love vegetables. I could eat kale against the best of them. I actually really enjoy kale. There is nothing about a butter. Stop shoving it in stuff, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I also like bars. Bars, you know, it's like whatever bar you want to like that's a trigger for rebecca rx bar all of them. And it's the texture. I cannot stand it.
Speaker 2:It makes me want to. I am deeply eaten. I will starve for three days. I will eat the bark off of a tree before I eat one more bar. I will not do it. It I swear. I have eaten more gas station bananas and apples in my life because I will not eat a bar. I will eat mozzarella sticks from the gas station. I'll eat pickles out of the jar. I am never eating a bar again. I can't do it.
Speaker 2:But I also think that I paid the price for that in college and so I didn't play sports in college. I wasn't good enough right, which is another story. But I took up running in college, which is a really fun way to go down a really cool new obsessive rabbit hole. And so in my 40s I'm actually still dealing with some stress fractures and some other things from that, because I still didn't figure it out until three years ago that it was not. I was not controlled when I was doing it. So I became obsessed doing 100 miles a month and then 120 miles a month and I had to hit the mileage and then it just became the next thing and the next thing and the next thing because I'd already gotten rid of my scale. So I'm still dealing with all of that.
Speaker 2:But in my bar culture life, I mean, I lived for it Cause you knew exactly what was on the package. You knew exactly what was in it. Like you just could like map that thing at. The math was so good. Never again. Like I just can't, I don't know. It just catapults me back to like a dark day and I can't be part of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I think a lot of people convince themselves that bars are like dessert too. How many in the marketing around them is like that too?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, until you taste one and you're like see.
Speaker 3:I feel like they're my like clutch Like I'm sometimes. I don't know if it's a healthy relationship, but sometimes I'm like I just need to eat and I don't have time, so it's going in my pocketbook. I don't drop dead of starving.
Speaker 1:It's just, I'm the person that's like I'll take beef, jerky and pistachios. Thanks.
Speaker 2:I read the Ziploc thing of tuna. What the thing with the ripoff of tuna? My kids are like what are you doing?
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I would sooner die. I would never. No, absolutely not. I will absolutely. If you open a bag of tuna in my car one day, I will never let you in again. Just saying, Rebecca.
Speaker 2:I'm probably going to have to do it now.
Speaker 1:But I think, rebecca, what you're saying is like yes, that is part of healing your relationship with food no longer forcing yourself to eat foods that you hate just for the sake of health. Quote unquote health right.
Speaker 2:Or to feel elite. Yeah, but not like. All of us have eaten something and felt like a better person than somebody else because of what we ordered or what we ate or whatever. Yeah, it's ugly. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So I'd love to get your take Eden on like the Ozempic trend, like everybody's on it.
Speaker 1:I had a client call yesterday and we discussed it and basically I want people to feel like they have autonomy to do what they feel is right and I also want them to have all the facts about the studies around these medications. We don't have any long. We don't have any, like you know, long range studies I think they're. Most of them are two years, and if anybody is really interested in the research around these medications, I highly highly recommend checking out Reagan Chastain R-A-G-E-N that's how you spell her first name Highly recommend it. She has an amazing sub stack. She literally dives into the nitty gritty and um. But I also want to acknowledge the flip side of this. I am somebody who was born with so much privilege thin privilege. I'm white, I I haven't lived in a body that is above a straight size body and I know that so many people experience so much trauma around their body size and they're stigmatized and they are made to feel like their bodies are wrong from a young age. And if, if somebody feels like this medication is what's going to help them feel accepted, who am I to tell them? No, when I literally always existed within privilege? But I guess the questions too is somebody is considering this like are you willing to be on it for your entire life? Can you afford to be on it for your entire life? Right, is that something you want to do, knowing the health consequences and the side effects, et cetera? And again, like, only somebody who's considering this can answer that. And I hope that, if somebody is considering that medication, that they dive a little bit deeper into the research versus just what you see in the media, because somebody remember, with nutrition and health, and the media is, it's still media and they are still trying to sell you a story, they want you to click on things and so they don't want to talk about the negative side effects. They want to talk about the things like this is amazing and everybody's doing it and like, and it just keeps feeding into itself.
Speaker 1:If I had to tell you how I feel personally about these medications, I'm not going to lie as, like a disordered athlete, if there had been some magic pill or shot to make me lose more fat and gain more muscle, I would have done it. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, here I am, on the other side of this. So, rebecca, I really loved how you talked about how you had stress fractures. So if I'm telling people what really woke me up from my own shit around eating clean and eating the bars and all the stuff and restricting, restricting, restricting and then binging around foods, I could not like. I had one and I'm like I can't stop, just can't Right. What woke me up was I I ended up with three stress fractures in my foot from just going for a little run around my neighborhood and then I had a DEXA scan and I had osteopenia the precursor to osteoporosis.
Speaker 1:At 22 years old I hadn't had a period for three years. I was cold all the time. My hair quality was horrible. I still have circulation problems from that. I could not stop thinking about food.
Speaker 1:It was the only thing I thought about, and the solution to that wasn't continuing to do what I was doing in the name of quote unquote health. It was to find something else. It was to allow my body to gain weight. It was to allow my body to rest. It was to focus on improving my bone health. It was everything opposite of what I thought health was.
Speaker 1:So for me personally, now going through that and feeling that in that bone pain throughout my entire body and not being able to get out of bed in the morning due to bone pain, like I will never do something that will compromise my bone health if a certain medication, if I can help it, so like. And also, you know I'm 35, I'm thinking about how, as we get older, it's so much harder for us to maintain our muscle mass, it is so much harder for us to maintain our bone health and our bone density, and a lot of the weight that people are losing on these medications is muscle mass. Because they do induce starving. They convince you that you're full so you take in less overall energy, and my own personal experience starving destroyed my body and I won't do it.
Speaker 2:That is one of the things I noticed whenever I like have a question. We live in a community where there is an exceptional amount of consumption of this, and I don't I'm not saying that other communities are not the same. I am almost 1000% sure that I could walk 20 miles that way and it would not be as out of control as it is in our 10 mile radius. It's really intense right now and so you're. It's almost harder because you're like comparing yourself. Like it seems to me like one in every five moms at every event that I'm at is very clearly going through a really big change in the last six to 12 months.
Speaker 2:But the other thing that I always notice is that they have absolutely no muscle tone, and so I'm always like, how, like as a person who like lift weights and like is already was concerned about their bone health but then got this really big wake up and so now it's like a really big conversation. I'm like, if you are a size zero but your legs go like this and I can't see your quad, I'm panicking for you. If your calf isn't there, I would like to know where it has gone, because you actually need that bad boy Same in your arms. I'm like, because you actually need that bad boy Same in your arms. I'm like that's a really nice skinny arm, but like I can see in my arm that's twice the size of yours quite a bit of muscle. I'm wondering what's happening, because I actually think those are connective things that we need Like. Where are they? Like what do you do? I mean, that's a little bit scary to watch.
Speaker 1:So what I? This is in a lot of communities, right, I live in a mountain community, this community. I love it, but there's a lot of orthorexia here. There's a lot of normalized disordered tendencies, and especially coming from the wellness space, and I mean and orthorexia for anyone who isn't familiar is the one where it's exercise induced right, it's an eating disorder.
Speaker 1:It's an obsession with health. Orthorexia is an obsession with health, eating healthy, being healthy. There's nothing wrong with wanting to pursue health, but there is a line Basically. If you feel extreme anxiety, if you eat something that is deemed unclean, that might be a sign that you have some orthorexic tendencies. But I mean it's here too, and I guess another thing I want to make clear is this is not me trying to shame anybody who is taking that medication, because I understand the pressure you might have felt and it's not going to help if you feel like a health provider is shaming you for either decision you have made. It's just more like it's. We live in a visual society.
Speaker 2:It is hard not to take notice that it seems like the world is shrinking and when we're in in a, we're in Charleston, so we're on the beach and there's a pool everywhere and in everyone's backyard. So the pressure is very real and I think when you talked about it earlier, there's an. In no way did you insinuate any sort of shame. It was actually amazing. But for us living in it it's like really interesting to navigate, because I'm not just speaking for myself, but like it already was hard before this answer, because there's a pool everywhere and it's just there is a lot of pressure. You know it's it. We live in a bubble, for sure, of body types and incomes and all kinds of different things, A bubble of privilege, to your point. Like it's very bubbly bubbly, Um, but like it's the. I mean I feel the pressure, but I'm also like we can't be running a hundred miles a month anymore just to fit into this specific pair of shorts. We're better off actually throwing it away. Yeah, I got rid of this.
Speaker 1:You know, like if they're, if they're listening to this, there's a closet behind me that has like three stacks of jeans and it's because my body fluctuates throughout the year Like anybody's does. But I did like you said. I did get rid of my low rise skinny jeans and also my high rise skinny jeans.
Speaker 1:I don't like these, I'm not wearing them anymore, I'm not hanging onto them to try and fit into them, because one my personal style has evolved. I don't like them anymore. But like, I guess one thing I want people to think of is like when you see somebody, and obviously their body has changed, like one thing that I put out onto social media all the time is our body sizes, our food choices, our reproductive status, our relationship status. It's no one's damn business. And that goes the other way too. So if I see somebody who has changed physically, I remind myself it's none of my business and there's probably way more going on than I realize. And going back to divorce, I've actually seen some content creators use weight loss from stress in their divorce, saying like look, it's my body letting go of inflammation. I'm like that is so full of shit.
Speaker 2:But okay, oh, my gosh, I actually have quite a bit of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So like what I took from that. So when I went through my own divorce, I struggled with sleep. I would wake up and just like be wide awake, right, and then I had my body just started rejecting food and, yeah, I looked like a model. But when people would say things to me, I would actually be like you're complimenting my shattered heart and you don't realize it. You're complimenting something that is like one of the hardest things I've lived through and I didn't have the you know the bandwidth to say anything back, but it just made me. It made my heart sink when somebody was like, oh my God, you look amazing. And I'm like, yeah, I'm really starving because my body rejects food right now. But thanks, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I can't sleep yeah.
Speaker 1:So, like I guess I'm bringing, I'm bringing that up because if you see somebody and their body has changed, we have no idea what they're going through and can we just acknowledge that we shouldn't say anything at all, cause we don't know what we're reinforcing and what goes back to it. We shouldn't call it bodies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it'd be so nice to live in a world where that just wasn't. Yeah, it'd be so nice to live in a world where that just wasn't like a conversation at all anymore, where we could just be autonomous. I have a question for you, though, that I wanted. I that okay, I don't even know if you can answer it in this space right now, cause it's probably just the universal question. But like, what does proper fueling even look like? Like, is that just like the most abstract question ever? Like, I mean, cause it's, you're really really saying it's not. Like it's not a hundred or 1200 calories, it's not a one size fits all.
Speaker 2:Does it mean that you're like not hungry? Does it mean that you know you're not craving one specific thing? Does it mean that you're like learning to be intuitive? You know, like trying to teach it to my kids even how to be intuitive. I have two girls. Jenny has a daughter, so we're both raising girls. So we're like even more in the house of like trying to be so present and pay attention to how we message things and like teach them how to fuel, like. I mean, maybe it's even about them, like how do we teach that so that we can solve it for ourselves and then we can level set for that?
Speaker 1:Well, if parents are listening to this, the number one thing you can do to help your children is to model a peaceful relationship with food and at least a neutral relationship with your body, because they're watching, and they're watching from a young age and I, if I was telling people like how old I was when I started to learn that foods were good or bad, I was three years old, as I learned that from my mom, and that's not her fault that she learned that from society, et cetera. So, like, like, we really want to teach kids that they can come to the table, eat what they want, leave. Like that's what they're trying to learn, right, they're trying to learn how to actually eat as a human being. Little kids, and we actually have this intuition when we're toddlers of, like, what we want, what we don't want, and then, as we get older, diet culture gets to us and we're like, oh, I'm doing it wrong and all this stuff.
Speaker 1:But to answer your question, what is a proper, what is proper fueling? And one thing I would tell people is like, everybody's an individual and what's proper for me might be very different for somebody else. Like that's the word health what's healthy for me might be unhealthy for somebody else. A good example of that Cause you guys follow me on Instagram If I'm eating a Reese's pumpkin and feeling at peace with that versus when you're in college where if I ate one, I'd have to eat 10 because I felt so guilty.
Speaker 1:What's happening? Right, that's, my mental health has changed now, nutritionally, yeah, I could add some stuff to it. I usually do if I'm like not going to go work out right after anything else and I have time to digest fiber and the protein and fat. But to me, like so, I am a mountain biker, I am a skier and also right now so it's starting to snow. It's like how do I fuel myself around the seasons? I know, right, you guys are in Charleston.
Speaker 2:You're like what I?
Speaker 1:know I'm like. So to me on a rest day, for example, it's like I'm going to eat every three to four hours. I'm going to make sure there is a variety of nutrients on my plate fun things and more nourishing things to my body and I'm going to fuel my workouts. So, for example, tomorrow morning I'm going to go to yoga. I'm going to have a glass of orange juice before I go for my simple carbohydrates, which used to be such a trigger food for me. Right, I'm like I can't have that. It's liquid calories. It's waste, blah, blah. Yeah, it's fueling your workouts. It's refueling after your workouts. It is eating meals with other people and noticing that nutrition goes beyond just the nutrients on your plate. It's community as well. So I feel like it's being consistently and also recognizing the intangible qualities around food that bring us together. That's part of nutrition to me. So it's adequately fueling your lifestyle and then also being present in the occasions around food with your friends and family.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those are my favorite meals.
Speaker 2:I mean always they actually used to be my most stressful meals, um, and I feel like we've all had that, and it goes back to the Thanksgiving thing. I guess it depends on who you're eating it with, because certainly my circle has evolved a lot and so, like my favorite thing now is to go out and eat, or even eat and drink with my friends, and I like it a lot more than when I'm by myself to some degree, just because I, like you know it's just fun, like we have a great time.
Speaker 3:Like we'll order.
Speaker 2:You know nine things we do and like, but I to the same point. Actually this is a funny story and I took my daughters to. So Clemson is close by, we have a puppy, so I surprised them with this, and we went the other weekend. We drove, we stayed overnight in a really nice hotel Cause we got a great price on it and it was. There was a beautiful restaurant downstairs.
Speaker 2:Of course, we're in leggings and hoodies, so we start the whole conversation off being like you can be whoever you are, Like we don't have to be in suits to eat here. We ordered a ton of stuff, cause they're six and nine, and we ordered this beautiful dessert at the end and I took a picture of the table at the very end, just because it was a great dinner Like I don't know what the something was in the water for the four of us. The hurricanes had just come through here. We had to drive through some of that. There were linemen on the roads with us. We were just in this very like, thankful, present. They didn't know we were getting a puppy, so I was very much in the moment, whatever.
Speaker 2:And somebody wrote on my Instagram um, the dessert must not have been very good because there were only like four bites taken and personally and this person is beautiful, so like I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it, but I couldn't help but think about it obsessively for like four days, Cause I'm like, if you look at any of those plates, we didn't finish one. We had things we wanted to try. We were somewhere special. We didn't want the night to end. The guy offered us the dessert. He was like you can't miss it. So we ordered it. It was amazing. Two bites was plenty, Like I. I didn't even have to convince I could not have eaten a third bite. We had so much like rich and good food and I was so full and we only had to walk upstairs. I was like, oh my God, we and we only had to walk upstairs.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh my god, we're not even gonna make it upstairs, but like I was amazing like that one comment made you rethink the entire dinner when I was just like, and I felt bad for that person also because I was like, under no circumstance, even if I would have never finished that dessert I can't imagine a situation where I would have finished that dessert but I was like what.
Speaker 1:There's people that are like, even if they're uncomfortably full, if it's on the table, there's like I can't not finish it, like it's there, I have to finish it. And if somebody is feeling like that, it usually shows me there's some mental restrictions still present and that's usually what fuels binge eating physical or mental restriction. And that's why people eat way past fullness. Because what's there, it's like I have to, it's right in front of me and it's actually like you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable. But I mean, I often tell people one as a dietitian, there's no winning. Whatever food is in front of me, people are going to be like, well, of course you're eating, that You're a dietitian, or aren't you a dietitian? There's no winning.
Speaker 2:That's true, you're like the scariest person to have lunch with. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But the people that really know me know not to comment right, they know not to comment on my food. Strangers comment on my food most times, but what I tell people is like I actually used to think I needed willpower and discipline and I realized like, the more consistently I feel my body and the more peace I find with eating a wide variety of foods, you don't need willpower and discipline anymore because you can take it or leave it. When something is in front of you like that, you can take a couple of bites and be like, yeah, it tasted really good, but I'm full and I'm good. Yeah, and that was an experience.
Speaker 1:It's the power of a fueled brain like it versus somebody who still has a brain that is focusing on restriction and control. You're going to feel out of control when that food is in front of you.
Speaker 2:There was a moment in my life in my 30s where you know I grew up around this whole like clean your plate, don't waste food, don't waste food yes, right.
Speaker 2:And then I there, the on switch clicked where I was like it will be a waste to consume this and spend time punishing myself later. The real waste would actually be to go through that process over and over and over for the rest of my life, like that's the waste the food, intrinsically not a waste like money. I get it Like I do understand. I'm not trying to again, that might be privileged, but like what would be a bigger waste is spending that time in that mental hell or in that physical hell just because of it and I don't want to be there anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if you're also worried about people who are. You know, well, I should eat this because people don't have food to eat. Like you could just, like you know, donate to where people have more food to eat and, like, reduce the food insecurity if you want to. But like, yeah, it's like, you don't need to make yourself uncomfortable, the food is already there and I I I'm gonna get this quote wrong, but somebody said it's wasted in the garbage can or it's wasted in your body.
Speaker 1:Either one and you get to pick, and there's nothing wrong with either putting it in the fridge for later or, yeah, like, last night my boyfriend and I went out to dinner. He's a GM of two restaurants here and normally we get two entrees and instead we did, like two appetizers. Well, we did three appetizers, we had three different courses, so we started with two appetizers, then had another course and then we split an entree, and usually he loves to get two entrees, so we have leftovers. But I'm like, but the leftovers are never as good, can we just split something? Yeah, like, it would have been fine either way and I wouldn't have been wasting it. It wouldn't have been a wasted, but that still is privilege, right? Like to be able to go out and have that experience and be able to take food home.
Speaker 1:That's also to me it's like a cheat meal planning. It's like, oh look, I can, like I have lunch tomorrow, that's easy. But I also was like I don't, I don't want to do that, like I just want us to get to where we are perfectly set. So, basically the compromise there we was like, sure, let's split an entree and then we'll get dessert. Yeah, when I told you like I can't win, I, I love this story, I, we were at the other restaurant that he manages.
Speaker 1:Oh, it was in the spring and we were there, we were having a dinner date. We do this regularly. It's really nice, I love it. We just go out, we get what we want and it's just not a big deal. And but we were. We had just gotten like a round of appetizers and there were two couples next to us. So we were at a two top and they were at a four top and the women I could tell were looking at my plate, like they were like seeing like what I'm eating, and they don't know me, they don't know I'm a dietitian, they don't know I'm an intuitive eating dietitian, they don't know me at all. Strangers. And I was like they're either thinking, wow, what she's eating looks really good, or why is she eating so much? Like I could just tell, like we. We know when people are judging us. So the entrees come and we got the fish special that night. It was like halibut, it was really lovely. But this lady leans over to me and says you're eating a lot of food. Is there a reason why?
Speaker 1:To me, not to my boyfriend, to me, and I just literally like what was what I loved, I, I so when it comes to, like you know, I literally just like I just gave her, I just looked at her and I kept eating because I was like she doesn't deserve a response, like she doesn't whatever.
Speaker 3:I don't know her, but my why right I?
Speaker 1:I like I didn't even want to ask why, cause I already knew right, she couldn't imagine my boyfriend was like. He was like actually, this is just how we eat we get what we want and we're going to get dessert too.
Speaker 2:I just like, loved it. I was like under what circumstance are you allowed to lean over and make an observation? You're not. You were eating a lot of food, could I ask why? So then she also asked you to defend yourself.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh my God. And like I just was, like she doesn't deserve a response. I'm not talking to her, but I think she was like are you guys celebrating something? Because that's why you would eat a lot of food.
Speaker 1:And like, because she kept going and like my boyfriend goes, nope, not a celebratory occasion, she literally didn't shut up, but I really it was just this example to me of a different generation of women who can't imagine going to a restaurant and feeling like they have the freedom to eat what they want, whether it's the kale salad or whether it's the steak or the burger. Like you can get what you want and honor your body and your taste buds, your preferences. But I just like loved it. I kind of was like I am so glad that I have done this work to where. I know that she made that comment because it's a reflection about her own relationship with food. It's not me.
Speaker 3:I just said something like it's my last meal. I'm being executed tomorrow trigger.
Speaker 2:It's not me. I just said something like it's my last meal. I'm being executed tomorrow. Yeah, Jenny would have, but I'm like Jenny would have said that and I'm always like your triggers are showing. So one funny thing that Jenny and I have done you should hear this story, because you probably haven't heard it in the podcast. So when I got divorced, I joined Hinge it's like a dating app here. Oh yeah, Okay. So I figured. But I was like, well, you're, you know, happy, so you probably weren't on hinge.
Speaker 1:I have no, I have a hinge story too. I was briefly on hinge and I saw my boyfriend on there and didn't match with him. I was like, oh, he's single, yes, and it's such a small town where. I was like, next time I see him, I'm going to say something.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:Not going to match, absolutely pursuing that. So we changed my first thing on Hinge, because you only get your three things to be like your most controversial opinion. I actually like I'm obsessed with McDonald's, which is like the weirdest it's you know a thing. So we changed it to say like, basically, that I'm obsessed with double cheeseburgers and a diet Coke, and then it below like it gives you a few spaces and then it says I don't get me wrong, I love a nice dinner and I love a nice bottle of wine, but sometimes you just got to hit the drive through, slam a double cheeseburger and get back to chasing your dreams. It has been the single best filter ever. It has.
Speaker 2:The men get so mad, so mad. The young men are like I'm going to take I want to go with you to McDonald's, but I want to go somewhere nicer to the older men specifically. So we're so back in our like parents Cause, for whatever reason, I get a lot of those, you know, trying to hook up on Hinge. But they to the point where one of them actually like they wrote so many condescending things You'd be prettier if you didn't eat McDonald's, they could, they say, but that's like their attempt to match to you, right, and then you have to match back. I'm like why would you even write that? Yeah.
Speaker 2:One of them was like you really basically need to understand how bad this is for you. I'd like to sit down and have a conversation about it, and maybe after I'll take you to dinner. So basically, he wanted to tell me how bad it was and then, if I was a good enough girl, he might Take me to dinner. This man was five, three bald in his mid fifties Not a small man. I mean, he was short, but not a small man, and there's nothing wrong with any of that, but it's like who are you?
Speaker 2:Shame woman for enjoying food, but I'm like sir, at what point can we just like level, set the playing field to be like? What dreams are you chasing? The reason we're like diet Coke at McDonald's is different. This is why you know like they tried to find an end with one of those things, but like no, at least 30% just come in to tell me how inappropriate it is that I'm obsessed with McDonald's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that this is what people don't understand. And I'm obsessed with McDonald's, yeah, and I think that this is what people don't understand. If you follow me on Instagram, it's not like I'm eating candy all day long, I just I know that I can't show you everything, because there's this lie that if you eat like me, you'll look like me and what I look like. I'm five, 11. I am not a small person, but I'm also. I still have straight thin privilege. I'm like a size eight usually, but I've like always been this. I haven't earned this right. This is just how my body is. But like I love that story because I like I tell you my dating story with Hinge, but basically like I would get on it here and there, like nobody's asking me out. Am I intimidating? What's the deal?
Speaker 1:That was one of my insecurities after getting divorced. Like, am I too much? Do I need to like minimize myself? Right, and I got to this place where I'm like I am tired of that. If I'm too much, go find less. That's how I felt and that's when I found my boyfriend Right, cause I was just myself.
Speaker 1:But one of the things I led with on hinge whenever I was on there. I would literally delete the profile and then restart another one. Like it would be like six months. I'd be like, well, let's just see who's out there, let's just see, right.
Speaker 1:And there was this weekend where I was dog sitting like in the town over and I was like I'm just going to see if I'm cute. And I was on, I created a profile, did the typical thing, create a nice little like hook, you know, show yourself with friends, but also show yourself without sunglasses and like show yourself being active, whatever. And I ended that weekend with over 70 matches. I'm like all right, I'm cute. People are just afraid to approach me in person. Goodbye, my, my opening thing, like you just mentioned, right, the first thing you lead with was I love when Harry met Sally that movie, yes, it's like. I basically was like can a single man and a single woman be friends? Let's continue the argument from when harry met sally same thing. So, yeah, argue back with me. And I'm like this is great, that's why, I have so many matches.
Speaker 2:No, that's actually brilliant.
Speaker 1:I love that and I loved that. Like I loved that was a friendly debate, right versus like. If people are arguing about what I was eating, I'd like you can fuck off with that, sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like McDonald's is life. I'm like little, do you know about my McDonald's habits? It ebbs and flows.
Speaker 3:I thought it made her approachable, you know, because a lot, of I think a lot of guys are like oh, girls in Charleston are just looking for somebody to wine and dine them. I'm like I think it shows that you are a genuine cold hang badass chick who eats McDonald's. So I think you should do that and I like literally.
Speaker 2:like I'm friends with the drive-thru boys, like I've gotten the last two t-shirts that they wear, that they get for free from corporate, like they give them to me, like we're buddies.
Speaker 1:But, like to me, it shows me you can enjoy both. You can enjoy the fancy dining experience and you can be like well for me, god, I haven't had Chick-fil-A in years. Because we don't have Chick-fil-A here. I'm like I would love Chick-fil-A. Yeah, that's, jenny, I can have one or the other and be fine either way. But like, if you start debating my food choices, you're out. We are not going to get along like that is. And also, just to go back to hinge, there was one guy who matched with me and this is really nice, it's a really smart way to match with me. He was like hey, I just want you to know, my friend here thinks you're amazing, like the work that you do for our community is so cool. And of course I'm like if you respond back, you match Right. And I was like damn it. I said thank you.
Speaker 1:And this guy was like he was in his, I'm gonna say, late thirties, early fort and our dates were. We went on three dates and literally at one point like he would ask me a question and then not listen to the answer and start talking over me. So I was like this food is more interesting than what he's saying. So I started just like being more in tune with my meal, and the last date we went on I actually double booked him and my current boyfriend, um, but my, my boyfriend knew that, like he knew I had to leave our, we went skiing together and then we had like a drink and an appetizer at Opere, like you know, post skiing and I'm sorry I have to go.
Speaker 1:I have dinner with this other guy tonight and at that dinner the guy just talked over me the whole time and I let. He made multiple comments about my food. He was like when the food came, he's like, well, I know who's gonna take the first bite of that, or something like he made comments and I was like read, read the room, like you know what I do for work and you're-.
Speaker 1:You literally said your friend is so amazed by the work I do for the community, like what is happening here, yeah, and he also said something where he kept dating girls in their twenties because they were more frankly, they wanted to be wined and dined, right, they wanted to go have these fancy dinners. And his friends were like you got to date somebody who's actually viable. And I was like I guess I'm your consolation prize. I was 33 at the time and I was like, oh, go back to the 20 year old. And then I felt bad. I like didn't like really follow up with him after that Cause I wanted to go.
Speaker 1:I wanted to like date the guy I'm with now and offended or upset. And I literally saw him at the cowboy bar, this million dollar cowboy bar. If you ever come to Jackson you have to go in there and sit on the saddles, right. But I'm there with some girlfriends a few weeks later for, like it was a music, like it was a CD release party. It's kind of funny. I'm like I don't know what I'm doing here, but I see him walking with like a gaggle of 25 year olds. I'm like he's fine, he's not mad. No, he's not mad. Oh my God, okay.
Speaker 2:We need to talk about where everyone can find you, because people can work with you. Right, you have? Okay, you have open. I was going to say open space. I don't even know what to call it because there's a lot of different levels from what I can tell where people can like. Like you said, you actually do create a ton of free products.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I mean I have a like a page on my website. I have an intern who helped me make it, like I mean, that's the thing that people are entrepreneurial. Like I went to school to be a dietitian, right, not a web designer, but I've figured out a lot of stuff on my own. Like I built my website If anybody goes to it. I made it and then my intern has helped me make some other things on it. But, yeah, I have a free resources page.
Speaker 1:I have a fueling guide. Actually like that would be helpful if somebody's like what is adequate fuel. So it's the fearlessly fueled playbook. It's on my website, um, and it has. It starts with intuitive eating principles, but it also talks about what to eat before your workout, how to adjust your plate based off of your training load, what to eat after your workouts, and it also has some other things in there, like affirmations or how to set boundaries, et cetera. So I have that on my website. If somebody has irregular periods or their period is missing, I have a free resource for that. It's called the no period playbook. But yeah, on Instagram my handle is it's's gardenofedan, underscore RD. It's on Instagram and TikTok I'm a little bit more, I would say curated on Instagram, tiktok. I'm like nobody follows me over here, but that's not true, they do. I just am a little bit more off the cuff and if you guys have been, following me for a while, it feels more appropriate for the spaces.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1:So I used to do a lot more like talk to the camera type stories and I still do that on TikTok and I don't necessarily do it on Instagram as much anymore. Um, but yeah, I offer a lot of free content and like tips and also you could like in the link in my bio. I have a free weekly newsletter that I need to write today. It's called pocket snacks. Uh, but it comes out like, honestly, it comes out whenever I have the bandwidth during the week I kind of love that, just so you know it's appropriate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like I. So I include a mindset shift, I include a media recommendation, whether it's a book or a podcast, and I also usually include a recipe or a snack or something that I'm liking and it's just to kind of show you that nutrition does not have to be super strict and has to. It can be this more balanced fun thing. And I'm, like I said earlier in the podcast, like I've done a lot of my own unlearning over the past several years and so I share a lot of those resources that have helped me with other people. And you guys were asking about parenting. Right, like I'm not a parent, I am choosing not to have children.
Speaker 1:However, I do believe that I have a duty to young girls to set a good example, and I had a client's mom ask me what do I do when my daughter says I'm fat? And I thought I think that's something so many moms are worried, like how do I answer this? What do I do? And in the moment I said, she's actually telling you something deeper. You know, fat is not a feeling, is a just just a neutral descriptor of our bodies. All of us have fat on our bodies. So it's your opportunity to get a little bit more curious about how she's actually feeling. Is she feeling unworthy? Is she feeling like she's not beautiful? If she, what is she actually feeling? But I was like I need to do more research so I have better answers for people. And so right now I'm fat, talk parenting in the age of diet culture by. I'm going to get her last name wrong Virginia soul something, anyway. So I recommend stuff like that in that weekly newsletter because I want to help people have a different perspective and because I needed a different perspective.
Speaker 1:So yeah free content on Instagram. Free weekly newsletter. Free resources on my website. My website is tea time performance nutritioncom.
Speaker 2:What was the name of the running book? Also, Jenny, I think you might've written it. I wrote it down.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'll link everything below Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, good for a girl running in a man's world. By Lauren Fleshman. It was actually recommended to me by a professional skier who lives here in in in Chamonix. She like splits her time between those two places, and she just sent me a message on Instagram. She was like I think that this book would really like it's. It resonates with a lot of things that you put out.
Speaker 1:And so I read it and I like there was a certain section of it that, like I just I was reading it on vacation. Um, me and my boyfriend take vacations in the spring and the fall, during like off season here in Jackson hole, like when the restaurants close, and we're like between our summer and fall and winter seasons. And we were in Salida, colorado, and I literally was reading this book and just started crying from one of the parts I read and it was about basically a young athlete. So, lauren, she went to Stanford and she caught one of her teammates engaging in something disordered and she literally was telling her like you don't understand, like we need you on this team, like we don't, don't do this to yourself. And what her teammates said I feel like is so reflective of what we see with women and the way that we drive our bodies into the ground to please other people or to look a certain way. But her teammate basically said to her you know, the thing is, I'd rather be skinny and injured than healthy and running fast. And I was like that's me. That was me as a college athlete and I got to this point where the injuries were so bad, where I was like I don't want to sit in this anymore. I don't want to keep doing this. I'd rather be strong and healthy and have energy to bike hours and ski all day, and I can't do that if I'm starving, and I mean that kind of goes to like.
Speaker 1:When Taylor Swift said that in her Miss Americana documentary, right, she used to feel like she was going to pass out in shows because she wasn't eating enough food. And if I was talking to people, what a like a fueling plan looks like for me. If you see me out on the trails, if you see me skiing, I got a sports drink with me, I got lots of snacks. I am not going to show up to operate after you know like and just be famished. Yeah, I've just not and like. I have a much better experience because of that. I would rather be healthy and strong than thin and objectively beautiful and that's like.
Speaker 1:That's a really difficult battle for any woman, but I just it was such a big mental shift so I was reading that book and literally crying at that part like this is the is the flip. This is the change, the mindset shift where you're like. Am I pursuing thinness to be accepted in this world, or can I get to this place where I recognize I'm already enough and I'm allowed to nourish my body and fuel my body and actually give more weight to the opinions of those who love me versus strangers on the internet who praise me for my body?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, God, we we. By the way, we love a good book, so we will be sharing all as our listeners yeah. We really do. I'll never forget the first time I like grabbed a Stacey Sims book and I or actually saw her on Instagram and she was like women are not small men. Like that mindset shift for me. I was like, oh my God, she's not wrong. Like why are we applying these general beliefs? I was like shit, what have I been doing? But, like yeah, we will share all this. You've been amazing.
Speaker 3:Yes, thank you so much, eden.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you guys for having me. And, like Rebecca, I'm like oh my God, you've followed me since 2022.
Speaker 2:You guys for having me and like Rebecca, I'm like, oh, my God, you've followed me since 2022. Thank you so much. I know I went up and looked at it like in our thing You're like, oh, thanks for posting, Thanks for. I'm like, oh, I love your stuff. And then it keeps going.
Speaker 1:But when I clicked on, I was like, oh, march of just curious, like what are the consequences of under fueling your body Right, or like dieting, or skip, like you know, do it fasted training, like fasted runs, all these things, or skipping meals? What are the long term consequences? And when I listed them out, I was like this is what happened to me, like seeing that. I was like I don't stress fractures, cardiovascular issues, poor circulation, low heart rate, mood disorders, depression. How many people you know who are struggling with those things? Yeah, a lot. And I'm like I mean, I think about women and yes, when we get into our forties I know it's, I'm 35, right, it's coming for me Menopause happens. It's really fun, forties are really fun. I actually feel like you kind of give less shit, right, you're like you know what, but it depends.
Speaker 2:Oh no, you should buy it. You're already there. You think you're there at 35. You're already there because you already understand a lot of the inner workings that are coming for you. But like you really should not have to wait for that door open, like you just anything that's left, any last little grip. You're like you can go too. Actually everyone can go. This whole assembly can go. I can start over. There are others out there and you like really find your people and anyone who's like. The last little bit of question mark for you. You already know, even if you're not ready to put that boundary in, you have them identified. You are ready to rock and roll, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I mean, like, with the body changes I think about, like also, I do think that and this is just my personal opinion, this is not backed by research, but I bet it is somewhere but the women who experience like rapid weight gain, like rapid fat accumulation, my question to them would be like, how long have you been dieting, you know? How long have you been engaging in cleanses and restrictive challenges and all those other things? To me, the reason why it doesn't work anymore is your body is literally rebelling to protect you. Your body is. Your bone health is going to go down. You fall. Your body's like we need some cushioning on our ass. We don't want to break it. So, like to me and I know I haven't gone through it yet, but I'm like, if I work on body acceptance now, if I work on neutrality now, if I work on actual sometimes there is body love they're like wow, that's amazing. I'm like I feel like I'll give less shits about the opinions of others who notice that my body has changed, because my body is meant to change, especially during that, that phase, and I'll be more compassionate towards those changes and continue to eat in a way that supports bone health.
Speaker 1:Like that is important to me for women in their forties, like that doesn't just because I experienced it myself, I'm like, oh God, and that was the lie I told myself whenever, like my you know, my strength and conditioning coach would be like your bone marrow density is going down, but your is going up, so we don't really know what to do about that. But when you're young, you just feel like you're invincible, right? Well, I don't have to worry about that till I'm in my 40s, so why should I care if my bone mineral density is going down? I'm still super healthy and I'm running fast and I feel strong, and then, like everything just came to a screeching halt, right. But I just really hope that women as go deeper into. How can I stay strong? How can I make sure my bone health stays where it should be? What can I do to make sure that is where we're headed versus what can I do to stay small? Yeah, physically or mentally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say both. We're preconditioned for both. So, yes, okay, you were amazing.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much, Eden.
Speaker 2:This was a great conversation. I know everyone's going to love it Awesome.
Speaker 1:Thank you, guys for having me so much, and if anybody wants to find me again, it's GardenofEden underscore RD on Instagram. Click the link in my profile for free resources.
Speaker 3:Perfect. Thank you so much. Thanks, guys, and we will see you next week.